a fanfic blog ran by yours truly ! yes its rioluza like the pokemon i thoght it was cool . you may refer to me with any pronouns ^_^
WHAT I WRITE FOR:
Honkai: Star Rail
Genshin Impact
Fate/Type Moon
Gintama
Homicipher
Hakuouki
Chiruran
Record of Ragnarok
Touhou
One Piece
Naruto
Project Sekai
Gachiakuta
more to come ?
WHAT I DO AND DON'T WRITE
DO
X reader (masc, fem, gender neutral)
Angst 🌧️ , fluff 🐈 , crack🍕, romance 💖 , platonic/familial ☀️, text message 📱, AU ☄️
whatever the hell i want
DON'T
smut/nsfw (including suggestive content), proshipping, yandere, anything with drugs
whatever the hell i dont wanna
RESPECT THESE RULES PLEASE. SOME FRANCHISES MAY HAVE SPECIFICS OF WHAT I WON'T WRITE
there will be characters who i only write fem or masc for. other than that mainly gender neutral
And I’m back once more but this time with a gift for my incredibly wonderful friend and fellow mod, @creator-cia! A very Happy Birthday to you Lovely~!
She has given me permission to post this.
Fandom: Hakuoki
Paring: Nagakura x GN!Reader
Takes place during Kyoto Winds. You know, back when things were somewhat happier.
Hearing your name called out, you turn to find Harada making his way towards you. You bow your head in greetings. “Good evening Harada. You’ve returned early from Shimabara, is there something I can help you with?”
“Yes, I need to ask you for a favor.” Your head tilts in question and he continues. “Shinpachi passed out a little ways back, could you go find him and make sure he gets back safely?”
“Wait, if he’s passed out, why didn’t you carry him back Harada?” Not even a second after you’d asked was he face-first on the ground. “Ah, that’s why.” Chizuru rounded the corner at that moment. “Chizuru! Perfect timing. Could you help Harada back to his room? I need to go out and make sure Nagakura isn’t dead.”You gesture to the ground and the rave-haired girl let out a startled gasp as she saw the unconscious man.
After making sure Chizuru wouldn’t have a hard time with Harada, you left the headquarters.
--
Thankfully you didn’t have to travel far before you spotted Nagakura’s body laid across the dirt. He was on his back, gaze turned towards the sky as his chest moved in steady breaths. “Oh good, you’re not dead!”
Nagakura’s head tipped backward and as his eyes landed on you a bright smile tugged at his lips. “Ah! Wow, my wish really did come true!” Coming to a stop a few steps from where he laid, you cocked a brow at him.
“Why are you laying on the floor Nagakura?”
“Ah, well…” He blinked a couple of times as if realizing that he was indeed laying on the floor. His face was flushed, a clear sign that he was very much still intoxicated. “Oh right! I tripped and couldn’t get back up.” He smiled again and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“So now you’re just stargazing?” The brunette hummed while nodding his head happily. Your head tilted to the side, curious about what he’d said before. “So did you wish upon a star and it came true?” He nodded again so you decided to ask him what he’d wished for.
“Well…” You waited patiently as it took his alcohol clouded brain a moment to collect his thoughts. “The sky looked really beautiful tonight and suddenly I had the thought that I wished you were here to look at it with me.” His eyes were crinkled from how brightly he was smiling up at you.
Crouching down so you could look into his face better, you couldn’t help but smile fondly down at him. “Oh? You want me to see something you found beautiful?” One of your hands reaches out to brush some dirt off of his face. However, when you start to retract your hand, one of his shoots out and presses your hand back to his face.
“I want to show you so many beautiful things.” Green orbs stared deeply into your own. His next sentence was mumbled but you were so close you could hear it clearly. “You deserve to see nothing but beautiful things.” Your eyes widen at his words, not expecting such a response.
“And why’s that?”
“Because you’re so incredibly beautiful.” A silence settles over the both of you as you stare into each other’s eyes. It’s broken a couple of seconds later as you burst into laughter.
“Okay yeah, you’re way too drunk, let's get you home.” Standing up and brushed your clothes off, you fondly shake your head at the man still staring up at you. It didn’t take long for you to heave him off of the ground and begin hauling him back to the Shinsengumi headquarters.
Even after you’d tucked him into bed you couldn’t shake the way he had looked at you the whole way back. As if you had been the one to hang the moon and all the stars in the sky. Even if he didn’t remember this conversation in the morning, you couldn’t help but fantasize about what a future with Nagakura could be like.
One in which he truly did show you all the beautiful things.
May I request “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?” for Sakamoto?
Ah! Sakamoto Ryouma. I adored him and his route. He was one of the first characters I played though, following Sannan and Kazama, so please bear with me. :) Thank you for the request! I actually really enjoyed writing it and had to keep myself from getting carried away. I had a lot of ideas spark, and who knows? Maybe I’ll make a mini-series based on this request.
The first time he had laid eyes on you, he saw just a sliver of a person. An eye, red and swollen from tears, skin that had lost its luster, and a frown upon dull lips. You occupied an inch of space between the shoji doors, clearly meaning to avoid attention, and the moment you had noticed his red eyes upon you, he noticed your one orb widen for a split second before the glimpse he had had of your beauty disappeared altogether.
He later learned your name and your purpose. A female demon. A rare specimen, according to Kaoru and Kodo.
When he had learned of just why they kept you here, he found himself sickened by the entirety of the situation. Furies. Truly, a crime against humanity as a whole, and he was one of them. At first, it seemed rather surreal--like a horrifying nightmare he would, at any moment, wake from. Or, perhaps, this was the afterlife. He was meant to be dead, after all.
But he was, in some capacity, alive now. And while Nakaoka seemed to thrive with his new-found powers as well as gain some form of trust from their “saviors”, Ryouma found that he the more he learned of this experiment, of which he was a part, the more he couldn’t stomach it. However, if he was to survive, and, perhaps, find a way to reverse this curse, he would have to feign loyalty.
He fulfilled the tasks given to him as if he were going through the motions. His existence was bleak, and the only thing keeping him going was the little bit of hope he held onto.
Added to the mix was his curiosity towards you.
He finally met you when he was told to bring you from your chambers to Kodo. The mad doctor had need of you, and while the thought of what he could possibly require you for made him nauseous, Ryouma did as he was told. He hated every bit of it.
You were beyond terrified, shaking like a leaf, and compliant in the way a broken animal was. Unable to help himself, he apologized to you when he left you within the room the old man conducted most of his research within.
He also apologized when he left you in your own chambers later that evening.
The next day, finding himself without much to do, he called upon you. At first, you thought he had come to collect you, as he had the day before, but after some reassurance, you had calmed enough to willingly allow him into your room. That first visit, you didn’t talk much, but Ryouma had no trouble filling the silence. After a few more late afternoons with him, you knew much about his life leading to this point, and feeling like he was someone you might be able to trust, you divulged a bit about yourself. He asked questions but never pushed for answers.
And he tried his best to get a smile or maybe even a laugh from you.
When he finally did see your beautiful features light up with a genuine grin, he realized that he had to help you escape.
It was during the next battle, when Kodo’s Furies were being put to use, that he took the opportunity. Under the cloak of night, he took your hand and urged your silence. Success seemed imminent, if not for Nakaoka having stayed behind. To Ryouma’s chagrin, his companion had noticed the increasing amount of time he had been spending with you; even now, despite his own madness, Nakaoka knew his friend.
Ryouma did his best to reason with him, but Nakaoka seemed dead-set upon starting the world anew, using the furies under Kodo and Kaoru’s command. The disagreement led to a fight to the death, one that Ryouma scarcely survived, and though it was an agonizing sight, you watched the man you loved break down over the immense loss he felt. He never wanted this--any of it--neither of you had.
It was the feeling of your hand upon his shoulder that reminded him. Time was of the essence. He could mourn and heal later.
The two of you escaped to Edo, finding refuge there in an abandoned clinic. It was there that Ryouma finally collapsed, his body--even with Fury blood--having decided it needed rest. You tended to him as best as you could, given the circumstances and the extent of your own knowledge, and he recovered soon enough.
You, too, had gained some of your strength and color back. The fresh air and freedom had done you both well. But as the days turned into weeks, you wondered just how long Ryouma planned on staying with you. Truthfully, you wished he would never leave your side, and foolish dreams plagued your mind--a future with him, maybe even a family.
However, you knew of his other love: the sea. It had to be only a matter of time. He had gotten an evening job at the docks once he felt well enough, and he was definitely saving up for something. The clinic was made your temporary home, and while you had also gotten a job as a waitress in the evenings, the two of you spent little and only on the necessities.
The day you feared would come finally did. It was mid-Spring, late-afternoon, when Ryouma returned from a rare day-trip into town. He hadn’t said where he was going, just promised to be back for dinner, and you didn’t pry. Instead, you occupied your time with laundry, and you were almost done hanging the clothes to dry when the man you adored approached you.
“I bought a ship,” he declared with a boyish grin. His excitement was obvious, an undeniable joy present in his amber eyes.
“That’s great!” You did your best to feign happiness for him, a makeshift smile stretching your lips as you heart crumbled to dust within your chest. “When...uh...” You turned towards the clothes line, hanging a towel and using it as an excuse to hide your face. “When do you plan on leaving?”
“Well, I don’t have a crew yet, but I expect to have some more money by the end of the month.” He already had a gorgeous woman he planned on making his second in command, and nothing could take the wind from his sails at that moment until he caught the way you worded your question.
His expression fell. Did you...? You didn’t want to come with him? Or did you think he’d leave you?
Determined to find out, he placed a hand upon your shoulder, his voice as gentle as his touch, “You are coming with me, right?”
You turned to look at him, tears very obviously filling your eyes as they searched his features for some sort of sign that he was teasing you--he liked to do that. But when you realized that he was completely serious, you found yourself gawking at him, unable to make a sound.
His other palm found your unoccupied shoulder as he stepped closer to you. He uttered your name before saying, “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you? I thought I’ve been pretty obvious...I want to spend the rest of my life with you, however long that may be.” He paused for a second or two, giving you some time to allow his words to sink in before speaking once more: “I love you. I want you to come with me.”
You had never felt such affection towards anyone in all your life, and when Kaoru and Kodo had held you hostage, you thought you never would. So, you threw yourself into his arms, sobbing into his chest as you nodded vigorously.
How could you have ever deny him of such a precious wish when it was one you shared?
Summary: Living in Kyoto these times got really interesting, right? Even for you, the bakery shop owner. It’s not like you could ever be bored having the Shinsengumi Captain around.
pervious: [7.] [8.]
You woke up for a moment just to see somebody laying you down on a futon in unfamiliar place. You heard some voices around you and rustling of the sheets. Everything was blurry, and you felt as if you were underwater. But then you fell asleep again and dreamed about your first days in Kyoto seven years ago.
You found yourself in the middle of a busy street. Everything looked new to you, but you didn’t have much strength to go sightseeing. You were on the road for weeks now. On another note, you decided to never take a ship again. You adjusted your backpack and looked for an inn to stay for a night.
You sighed and smiled. Finally, you were away from that dysfunctional family and a house that never felt like a home. You decided to move to Kyoto. It was quite far away and big enough, so nobody would come search for you. Besides, your mother told you once about how pretty Kyoto is.
Your search for the inn turned out to be futile. Most of them were just tea houses, others were filled with guests. Some didn’t even want to take you in, since you were too young and they took you for a prostitute. You decided to stay from public houses as far away as possible. You fumed and turned to go to the temple. You hoped that they won’t refuse you a shelter. It wasn’t like you didn’t have money, you were capable to pay them.
The problem was, that you didn’t know where the temple was, even with directions given by townsfolk you lost your way. In addition it looked like it was going to rain.
“Why is this happening to me?” you asked nobody in particular. Once again you tried to recall instructions given by passerby. With a sigh you dragged your tried feet forward. You looked up to the darkening sky and frowned. The alley you walked through was an dead end. You tightened your grip on your pack.
You heard clash of a swords and a sudden chill run by your spine. To the alley dashed two man breaking a window. You froze as they fought before your eyes. They moved quickly and swiftly. You decided it would be the best if you won’t meddle in their affairs and slip out of there. Nodding to yourself you searched for the way to escape. Yet, you were sure they noticed you by now, so you were confident that you didn’t want to stay and see the outcome. The only way out of the alley went just beside fighting men.
You looked for the opportunity for escape. The taller and most likely older of the two started to corner the other. Only the you noticed that the other one was a young man, probably your age, maybe year or two older. Though being overpowered he was grinning.
You saw an opening and made a run for it. In this moment the younger man pushed the attacker and you collided with him. Overloaded with your pack you fell down and the man took the opportunity and took you as the hostage.
“Now,” he said in low tone. “Let me go or this girl will meet her end today.”
“So what?” the other asked coldly, but still was smiling. His green eyes shone dangerously. The man let you go with and with a sharp move pushed you away. You almost crashed your head on a clay pots. With groan you messaged your arm. “So boring.”
“You persistent scum…” you heard the taller man curse.
The fight was still on-going. You looked between them, the taller one gained advantage. Your plan of a quiet escape backfired. If they finished their fight you could get away from here. At least you hoped the winner would not decide to kill you or rape you. You weren’t sure which one was a worse one at the moment. Your attacker stood now with his back turned to you. It was an opportunity you waited for.
You took the pot and sneaked behind him. You swung the heavy pot at his head and he fell down with scattered clay shards around him. The green-eyed young man looked at you surprised.
“Why would you do that?” he asked you as you stepped by fallen man.
“I just want to get away from here,” you replied. You prayed to the gods you chose the right man that will let you go.“The fight would last forever. And if you excuse me…”
He started to laugh as you stood before him. You adjusted your pack and bowed slightly. You still felt uncomfortable with somebody who had a little regard of your life.
“Who says I’ll let you go?” he said. You feared he’d say something like this. While you were thinking about the excuse he just grinned. “So?”
Your eyes wandered all over the dark alley. Suddenly he raised his katana and charged.
“Wait!” you cried closing your eyes. You held your breath and waited for the hit, but it never came. You heard scream of agony behind you. You blinked few times. The sword went through your kimono sleeve and pierced the man’s chest.
“Damn you…” he cursed last time before dropping dead. You stood face to face with a killer. You trembled in fear. You wondered if you were to join the men on the ground. He grinned and pulled the sword out.
“Nice job with that pot,” he said and sheathed the katana. He still held smirk on his face. “Who knew girl would have guts. You must be crazy.”
“Huh…?” you looked at him confused. He wasn’t going to kill you?
“Favor for a favor,” he concluded. You slowly nodded. “Okita Souji. If you tell anyone what you saw I’ll kill you.”
He turned to leave. You recovered from the shock, though you still were afraid of his rather serious threat. You felt drops of water on your face.
“Are you going to leave him there?” you called to him. His outline was barely visible. You must have lost your mind when you shouted. “Hey!”
“What? Got problem with that?”
“Well, he…” you shrugged unable to make a sentence.
“Don’t you know it’s rude to not tell your name back?” he ignored your previous statements. You looked at him confused. Wasn’t he just leaving now?
“It’s ________ _____,” you bowed.
“Well,_____, see you around,” he said and faded into the alley. You breathed out and with a little strength that you still had you made your way out of the alley. Further from the dead man the better. Caught up with the whole incident you haven’t noticed that the night has fallen. The rain poured from the sky. You grew more afraid of being here all alone at night. You ignored the fact that this Okita guy might kill you any second he wishes.
You jumped at the sound of sliding doors. A man in his late thirties spotted you and looked suspiciously.
“What are you doing this late at night?”
“I’m lost,” you answered as honestly as you could.
“Do you have any place to stay?” a woman, presumably his wife, leaned out of the doors. She wore kind and welcoming smile.
“N-no, not really,” you looked at your feet.
“Poor thing, come inside, you’re wet!” she ushered you inside.
She gave you towel to dry your hair. You smiled in gratitude. She made you eat some soup, though you didn’t have much of an appetite after today’s incident. She helped you to dress up in dry kimono.
“I’m Shimazu Makoto. With my husband we run this restaurant. You are?”
You gave her your name and bowed. When asked what happened to you, you waved the question off. You told her that you were just lost and that you came from far away and now looked for a place to stay. Girl around your age made an appearance. She yawned and looked at you blinking. She introduced herself as Kimiko.
Next morning the Shimazu family proposed you a job as a waitress in their restauration in exchange for a place to stay. You couldn’t believe. They actually let you stay at their home just after meeting you night before. You agreed to the conditions and soon, along with Kimiko, you started working.
***
Another two weeks gone by till you saw the green eyed demon again. You were at the market doing shopping for the restaurant. You were determined to carry these vegetables and some fruit by yourself. You were pushed from every side till you finally dropped them while colliding with somebody. You apologized and started to collect vegetables into the basket.
“Oh, you again?” you heard somebody’s voice. Your eyes met nasty grin and green eyes sparkling in amusement.
“Okita, right?” you addressed him.
“Seems you really like to fall down, huh?” he laughed at you. You twitched and sent him small glare.
“Why don’t you help me? You made me fall anyway,” you huffed.
“Nah, don’t feel like it,” he waved you off. He just watched as you collected the vegetables. “You live here, ______?”
“Since when we are on first name basis? And yes, I do.”
“Since today. You looked kinda lost back then.”
He watched you with a lazy grin as you decided to resume walking. He looked at the contents of your basket. He reached for peach and you slapped his hand.
“Shoo, it’s not yours to take.”
“Hey, for saving you back there I should get an reward.”
“If I recall correctly, and I’m sure I do, you said favor for a favor.”
“Touché,” you smiled in triumph. You weren’t sure if you wanted to debate with such dangerous man, but up until now he didn’t do anything. He didn’t slash you in the middle of the street, that’s for sure.
You walked in a silence for a moment till question popped in your mind.
“Who are you anyway?” you asked.
“I told you before,” he shrugged. You sighed and decided that it was useless. He turned into an alley. “See ya!” he disappeared as quickly as he came.
Can I have headcanons for Miki with an s/o who seems very reserved and intelligent, but really can be just as brash as him? Sorry if it doesn’t make sense!!
No worries, friend! I completely understand what you’re asking for. I’m a bit nervous, as this is my first headcanon request and my first Miki request. My understanding of him is not solidified, but I do kind of have an idea of how he would be with an s/o like that.So without further ado…
I feel like Miki’s brash and outspoken attitude is probably deeply rooted in his childhood. Personally, I doubt that–and I don’t know if this was explicitly or implicitly said in Hakuoki–he and Itou are the only two siblings. I noticed they have different last names, too, and I’m still pondering as to why that would be. But I digress. Miki is loud at times because he feels he needs to be to get the attention and recognition that he feels he deserves. Think of it as a kid acting out to get his parents to look at him.
Despite the fact that Miki can speak his mind and will without hesitation if he feels like it doesn’t mean that he’s necessarily open and honest about everything. And I feel that this especially applies to any romantic relationships he has. Personally, I don’t think he’s very experienced romantically.
That being the case, his s/o, when he meets them, is treated like everyone else, even if he is physically attracted to them. I feel like he doesn’t get intimately get involved with people that would be around him more than a night. If his s/o is someone he sees regularly, he won’t be propositioning them–that’s what the red light district is for, when he is in the mood.
Initially, he won’t think much of his s/o. They keep to themselves, for the most part, and he isn’t going out of his way to get to know them. However, he begins to see the kind of person they are in group settings. He finds their opinions and manner of speaking very intelligent, maybe surprisingly so, especially if they are of a lower class. Over time, I think he’ll begin to actually listen to what they have to say because when they do speak–it’s usually regarding something he hadn’t thought of, a point-of-view he hadn’t considered or some logic or fact he had never heard before.
What really makes him realize just how attractive his s/o is, initially, is their conviction. They aren’t afraid to speak their mind, just as he isn’t, and they are passionate about what they believe in, in what is just. He sees the fire in their eyes and the resolve in their expression, and damn them, he doesn’t forget it. Even worse if it’s directed at him because you know for sure he is fighting back with everything he’s got.
Then his s/o is in his head. He thinks about them at the most inopportune times until he finds that he has to talk to them again, even if, in the past, all their conversations included someone else.
Of course, the same thing that he finds draws him to his s/o is also something that gets them into arguments. When both Miki and his s/o believe that they are right, they become stubborn to the point the disagreement can last for days, maybe even a week or more. But of course, one of them can’t stay without the other for too long because, damn it all, they love each other.
Usually this leads to more arguments until an understanding is reached. Nine times out of ten, angry sex is involved. Being passionate people, Miki and his s/o find it hard to resist–especially because that’s what endears his s/o to Miki initially.
Fighting is exhilarating. You know what else is exhilarating? Sex that is just as loud and intense.
I feel sorry for whoever is in close proximity at the time.
But their personalities don’t always clash. On the contrary, they agree on some things, and both are quick to defend the other, if need be. The same determination with which they stick to their convictions translates into their love life. Both are loyal to a fault.
Needless to say, there will be challenges. Miki will have trouble vocalizing his emotions regarding his s/o, and if that’s something that is important to them, it is like pulling teeth. To Miki, sappy stuff like that is embarrassing, and he is more likely to show his love physically or by verbally bullying (to hide his true feelings) his s/o. They will need a strong backbone, and I have no doubt, considering how the s/o is as brash they are, that they will fight back.
I could also see Miki having an issue with his s/o being very reserved, especially if it is most of the time. He may not understand why they pick the battles that they do and instead keep quiet about others. A simple conversation, an intelligent one, will usually get Miki to understand. It may also lead to an argument if they both don’t see eye to eye on the issue.
Regardless of these cons, there are still a lot of good things about a relationship between Miki and a s/o that is both reserved and outspoken. As mentioned before, both are passionate people, and being such can translate into a very fulfilling sexual and romantic relationship. Success hinders on understanding between the two, and while this would more likely be Miki’s s/o letting some things slide with his behavior, I can see them being quite happy together.
Thank you for the request! Feel free to ask for more anytime! :D
Summary: Living in Kyoto these times got really interesting, right? Even for you, the bakery shop owner. It’s not like you could ever be bored having the Shinsengumi Captain around.
wordcount: 1062
pervious: [3.] [4.]
‘’Kimiko?” you called while you stood before the doors. “Kimiko, are you in there? Hm. She told me to come by today…”
You slid the doors and once again called her name. You and your friend were going to discuss her wedding today. Then, together with her mother search for kimono. The silence greeted you. For a few minutes you stood, a little annoyed that she might have dumped you. Sometimes she had problems with memory, but surely wouldn’t forget about today.
You heard some noise from the kitchen.
“Sorry for the intrusion,” you muttered and walked further into the house. You followed the sound you heard. You smelled ugly scent, that was somehow familiar. It wasn’t a smell of burnt dinner. You felt creepy tingle in stomach and with a sense of fear you moved to the kitchen.
“Kimiko…?”
You slid the doors and your eyes went wide. Before you laid your brown-haired friend. Her light yellow kimono was torn and bloodied. Her face twisted in grimace, her now fish-like eyes were wide open. And above her stood her husband-to-be, Kanzaki, with katana.
You gaped at the scene, frozen on spot. Kanzaki didn’t turn around. He just swished his katana to get rid of the blood still watching the dead girl’s body. Your thoughts were swirling through your head. Why he killed her? Why she was dead? Why there wasn’t anybody home? How come, he didn’t notice you yet.
It was your chance.
You took the vase that stood in the corner. You swung at him and broke the vase on his head. He fell unconscious on the floor, right beside your friend.
“Kimiko…” you said. You tried to calm your trembling legs. “No… not yet.”
With resolution in your head you run out of the house.
“Help!” you yelled. “Anybody! My friend…! Help, please!” few heads turned to you. You noticed some blue haoris in the crowd. You run towards the Shinsengumi member and tugged on his arm. “I beg you…!”
The man followed you as you led him into the house, then into the kitchen. Adrenaline left your body and your legs gave out. You threw up contents of your stomach onto the floor and sobbed into your hands. You didn’t even notice when Kimiko’s parents came to the house. Neither the Shinsengumi arresting the murderer. Your mind was fuzzy as man in blue offered to take you home. You recall blinking and nodding. Only then you recognized the man as Wakahisa-san from the other day.
“Are you going to be okay, miss?” he asked when you were in front of your bakery. You silently nodded, bowed to him and went into the house.
You couldn’t sleep through the night, and the next morning you felt lifeless. Somehow you opened the bakery. You decided you that glooming around is not going to help. Later, to your surprise, Kaoru-san you’ve met weeks ago visited your bakery.
“I’m sorry about what happened to your friend,” you thanked her politely.
Two days later, in the evening you decided to visit Kimiko’s parents. It was even more depressing, seeing her mother wailing in tears. You couldn’t offer anything to them. You walked back home when the sun was already set. You didn’t feel good at all. Insomnia, crying and almost no eating made you feel dizzy.
“_____, what are you doing here?” you heard familiar voice. All you could do was to stare at Okita as he moved closer to you. Okita must have noticed your blank look as the smile on his face disappeared. “What happened?”
“I…K-kimiko-… Kanzaki-san… so much blood… Souji-san, I…” you couldn’t utter single sentence. With him your façade of collected woman fell apart. Your eyes, red from crying and sleepless nights, fell on the ground. Still, you felt tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. You felt weak on your knees. Your mind was fuzzy and you felt another wave of nausea. Image of bloodied Kimiko... then her mother crying and father trying to be strong couldn’t leave your mind.
“_____!” With blurry vision you looked at Okita before everything went black.
***
You opened your eyes and found yourself looking at the familiar ceiling. It was your room. You tried to sit straight but then everything went spinning.
“Hey, don’t stand up yet, idiot.”
“Souji-san…?” you were greeted by a sight of Okita wearing lazy grin. You looked at your hands grasping tight the blanket. “What happened?”
“That’s what I should be asking. You fainted in the middle of the street. You’re lucky I was just coming back from my patrol.”
“Oh…”
“Don’t ‘oh’ me, _____. What’s up with you?”
Everything came rushing back at you. The murder of your best friend and the evening when you visited her parents. Soon you were again sobbing mess. Okita rushed to you. He rubbed your shoulders as you shook and trembled.
“S-she was my b-best friend… She did so much for me. Why she e-ended like this…!? He said he loved her! Then why!?” you voiced your every thought on that matter. You spent at least half an hour in his arms till you calmed down. You explained whole situation to Okita. He listened to the whole story without a simple remark.
You sat in silence through the whole morning.
“Shouldn’t you be on patrol, or something?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“I took the day off,” he told you."Now, eat this."
You took a sip of a warm soup.
"It tastes horrible."
"That's why I only eat what you cook," he joked. You smiled a little. After blurting everything what troubled you out, you felt you could finally fall asleep. For the first time in three days. “You look as my worst nightmare, so get into the bed or I’ll kill you.”
You smiled and did as he told you.
You knew your pain after losing a friend was nothing comparing to Kimiko’s parents. Still, the recovery would take some time. But you had Okita and now Kaoru was visiting as well. Chizuru-chan was coming by as often as she could. And finally you could smile, just a bit.
