Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquistion
Murdock, Wiltron, Zombs, NoGood, YellowGirl, Scoob...just to name a few...are people who I will never be able to call by their normal names. I’ve been playing video games with these guys and gals for over 13 years. I’ve hung out with them in real life and no matter how hard I try, they will always be their gamertags to me. Roller Derby is like that. You learn someone by their derby name and you have a hard time calling them by anything else.
So much derby since the last blog OMG! Tuesday practice, Friday bout (NSO), Saturday bout (OMGWTFBBQ Ref shadow!), Saturday night NRG awards show with SWGMID, and lastly Sunday practice.
Monday, T-bone reached out to me and asked if I wanted to come up and shadow some refs during a juniors bout in Hamilton, ON on Saturday. I checked with all the powers that be and it was approved! I was going to get to wear my stripes sooner than I thought!
Tuesday night practice was up first and I took my kids to a practice for a first time. They did amazing. They behaved themselves and even watched a little bit. It was an uneventful but good practice. My derby sister from another mother got her 27 laps and moved up another level of skating. I was so proud of her. I helped count for one of the skaters and got to sit there and watch as everyone was trying their hardest to hit that magical 27 mark. I also picked up a few tips which, hopefully, will get me over that 27 lap hump. We also were able to practice cones...came in at 6.3 seconds. .3 seconds off of where I need to be for next assessments. I am confident that when next assessments roll around I will be set to meet and exceed the minimums. Keep this paragraph in mind later in this post. I spent a lot of the practice working on skating around the inside of the track and attempting to position myself where I would need to be positioned to be an Inside Pack Ref (IPR).
Up next was NSOing for QCRG at their charity bout which featured a mash up of players from different teams. It was cool to see some of the Lake Effect Furies in action as the Icecars took on the Icecanoes (as in volcano...not canoe). Even though as an official you can’t cheer, there were some amazing moves on display. If you have never seen Librawlian play in person...you absolutely need to. At one point during the bout she pulled this move and landed it right in front of where I was stationed and the coach for the opposing team was near by and looked at one of her players and said something to the effect of “OMFG DID YOU SEE THAT?!?” So if you want to see her do what she does....you need to come out to a Lake Effect Furies bout and see what the fuss is about eh?
Saturday brought up my first official gig on wheels. For this venture, I had four goals: 1) Don’t trip over the line. 2) Don’t take out a player. 3) Don’t take out other refs. 4) Skate better than some I have seen come before me. I can’t tell you how excited and nervous I was about this opportunity. Many thanks to T-bone for making it a reality. I was also able to work with some faces that are familiar to me as some QCRG and NRG refs were there as well. I was super nervous before the start of the bout. Definitely was a bit of a deer in the headlights for a while and my legs were shaky as nerves were getting the best before warm ups.
I accomplished all of my goals. 2nd jam out of the gate I got to “inform” the white team they had too many skaters on the track and my voice didn’t crack and they listened! I did a bit of shadowing with the IPR’s and then shadowed one of the jammer refs for the last half of the 2nd half. There is a lot to pay attention to. I was about to call a couple of penalties but each time one of the more experienced refs called it as I was about to. Which made me feel good. It meant I was seeing what I needed to see. And there is a lot to see. It also showed me I have a lot to learn. Which I already knew. The most important thing to me coming away from this is that I feel I skated well for where I am at and I was able to concentrate on the things that I know and I picked up a bunch of great tips about things I didn’t know. This is the first of many bouts that I will be reffing in the future.
That is me in the background with the orange skates on.
Saturday night I attended the NRG Awards party in St. C with SWGMID and that was a good time. I’ll be honest, not much of a bar guy, but the band was good, the company was great, and I met a couple of new people. We could have stayed longer but I had practice in the morning which involved me waking up at like 6:15 to be ready and get to the rink.
That pesky alarm. Never went off. Luckily, my body is used to being up by 6:30 and at some point in time my body was all “GET THE HELL UP!” around 6:45. I hopped in the shower real quick and as I was throwing my stuff in my bag I got a “Do you really want to go to practice this early?” yeah...yeah I do because I am taking Tuesday off of practice and don’t want to go that long with out being coached. Glad I didn’t succumb to the need for more sleep...... In our league, learning when your assessing is a lot like the Spanish Inquisition. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
When I walked in, I learned I’d be assessing! Which is what I wanted but I was totally off my game this morning due to lack of sleep, breakfast, caffeine and just plain old groggyness. So to pass this assessment I needed to get what I didn’t on the last one: backward skating, cones, moving jump and laps. SWGMID had joined me and was going to ask if she could skate but she was running late...I am glad she didn’t skate because she helped me immensely throughout assessments.
I was instantly nervous. Legs shaking. But I could do this. I know I could do this. When assessments started, I hit my transitions, stops and glides. Next up was the 6 inch foam jump. I had never done this before but the gist of it is that you need to be moving and jump over a 6 inch foam block. Both feet have to leave the ground and land on the ground at the same time. You can’t stagger the feet. I took a few attempts at it and almost had it but was told I could try it again at the end. I gladly took that option. Next up was backwards skating. I thought for sure I could nail this because I had improved so much. Tried it a couple of times and was just off a little bit. Again I was given the option to try this again at the end. I have to thank the coach for repeatedly beating the same things into my thick skull over and over again. I know she thinks I am not listening...but I really I am and I am trying my damdest. Next up was cones. I owned those! Had to do it twice though because the watch never got looked at the first time. 5.3 seconds. I owned those cones! Track cuts were next and I did those as well as I did them the last assessments.
Laps...I love laps. Though today......I was off. We started and I just felt off the whole time. I wasn’t crossing over like I should be. I don’t know why. I know how to do it. I kept telling myself I had to do it. In Tuesdays practice, one of the vets actually had me doing crossovers for a full laps at a time. I just could not get into a rhythm today and it was a struggle. I am not making excuses. I know I didn’t skate well and that’s on me. I still pulled out 26.75 laps in 5 minutes and can tell you exactly which moments cost me that last .25. Throughout the whole 5 minutes, everyone who was watching was yelling at me to pay attention to my crossovers. I heard you, I just....no excuse...I was off. I was so disappointed in myself when the 5 minutes was up. And it wasn’t because I fell short. I was absolutely unhappy with the way I skated. I kind of just knee stopped and wanted to sit there and sulk for a bit but in true derby fashion, I listened to #47 and got up off my butt and kept on skating. Coach came over to me and gave me some tips and then went off to do some drills with the other skaters there. I did a few laps, worked on my cross overs and got some water. And then sat down near the edge of the track where my gear was and had my sulking moment. I was so mad and disappointed at myself. SWGMID was there trying to get me up and going again. To work on the two other skills I had the chance to pass. After a couple of minutes, I got up, grabbed the foam block and went and practiced my jumps. SWGMID was giving me pointers and once I was confident I had those, I moved on to backwards skating. I had this. I was going to pass these things and finish strong. At the end of practice, I passed my jumps and my backward skating with a few seconds to spare. Technically, I didn’t pass my assessments because my laps fell short. It is a test you need to get a 100 on to totally pass and I got a 99.9 on it. I am skating well enough that I was told that the Herd has been informed I can start reffing when ever they feel I am ready on the contingency that I get my 27 laps in the near future. I will get those laps. I also will continue to attend boot camp practice, whether I need to or not, because even though I passed those skills, I still need to work on them and I want to continue to improve. Keep this in mind....my first boot camp practice was December 13th. A month and a half after starting boot camp, I’ve assessed well enough to continue on. I am so proud of how far I have gone but I have a long way to go.
Parting funny: When I arrived at the venue in Hamilton to ref, I really had to go to the bathroom. I saw the signs but the arrows didn’t seem to make sense. I asked one of the junior skaters from the visiting team if she knew where the bathrooms were. With the tone and full attitude of a 13 year old girl who wants you to know you sound like an idiot, she looks at me and goes “You mean the washrooms?” I didn’t quite know how to react to that so I did a Homer Simpson fade back out the door and asked someone else.
Bonus pic: I saw this and it elicited the feels in me because it seems to be true for so many of us who get in to derby: