#hormonalwasteland

[nouvelisarchived]

🎵for the aching softies

playlist meme / accepting!

i. taemin - back to you

you were the dream i dreamed, the breath i breathed

the world i saw, listened, felt and believed in has disappeared

what i can do to get back to you?

ii. yang da ii - won't you say it?

oh won't you say it?

i still love you, i'm waiting for you

i want you, save me

iii. davichi - love is

when things are hard because of me

don’t smile as if you are getting strength from me

it’s alright if you are drained ... it was hard, wasn’t it?

now lean on me, now learn how to receive

iv. blackpink - hope not

for you, i’m okay with being hurt

'cause when we were together, i only gave you scars

you need to meet someone better than me and be happy,

but i hope not to the point where you forget me

v. tom odell ft. alice merton - half as good as you

if i ever find anyone half as good as you,

i think maybe that would do

vi. sarah barrios ft. eric nam - have we met before

have we met before?

maybe in another time i loved you, maybe you’re the one that i would run to

i don’t no why it’s all a blur, i think i know you

[anthologiae]

RE: I THINK I’M CATCHING FEELINGS. // PROMPT.

He is a dream in the caricature of blasted ego; think: if Richard Grayson walks out of the door to illustrate to the world that this is worth saving, he might as well sew the filaments of his fears into one before placing it on Richard’s shoulders. The trepidation that sighs in Nam Hyunwon is real, all too real he might as well smoke to exhale the fumes, and they would contain anxieties more than carcinogen. So, he reverts back on his empty promises, the pack of cigarettes a sign that it has all become too concrete to ignore. Even the ember burning at the edge of the stick is enough to sear the memoire of a charred body sought amidst the culture of a broken car frame. Inhales. Again, deep enough to corrupt the lungs, blackening the organs to the point where he might need to return to them and fix, later. Nevertheless, it is none of today’s worries, for he peruses as Richard slides back into that leather costume of his, the atrophy of their relationship the sclera of burning heights burnt behind the back of Hyunwon’s eyelids.

No. No, no. If Richard is meant to die, might as well—

He swallows the intention. It voices in a string of words so foreign he might as well prick his throat with an icepick and it would make no difference. Since when did he discard himself at the door in lieu of becoming this... this insufferable bastard? But oh, fears do many things to human, and he ought to remember that among all the tissues and sinews, the fabrics of this universe still destine him into a man. Anomalies that coexist within his body doesn’t make him less humane... so.

Back to the present, he cloaks the wince that contorts his features upon saying those. The lament incised is instantaneous, clawing at the base of his throat but he says nothing. He listens, instead.

 ( If you’re trying to tell me that you love me, you should probably say it differently. )

That hits, not because it is wrong— that hits because Richard understands the gravity of his fears instead of lashing back out at his static words, which in retrospect come out as another axis of fears. In this view is the weariness that has sculpted the both of them, and eventually, their love, too. Hyunwon is scared, but it is not justified. He swallows, brambles in his throat. The veil is on; he thinks of the residual values that he holds dear to his chest before he shakes his head, raising to his feet to approach his beloved. He slides his arms around Richard’s torso from behind. No, not Nightwing, because to admit the alias means to alienate himself... and Hyunwon cannot stand the rift of this distance. He tightens the embrace, resting his chin on the clothed shoulders, before pressing a kiss on the side of the naked neck. “I’m... sorry,” and it sounds normative, but distinguished this time. “Just... Just come back alive, please. I know it might sound silly, but after that night, I just can’t see your flight the same way ever again.” And he pulls back, hands resting on the leathered bound sides of Richard’s posture. “You know we’re not invisible anymore, love.”

[nouvelisarchived]

🎵 u ask, i deliver, murder bfs!

playlist meme / accepting!

i. nothing but thieves - your blood

you know it's your blood that i bleed,

tell me that there's someway that i'll get through the night

i carry your moral disease,

i don't wanna be something i'm not to stay alive

ii. blossoms - i can't stand it

i'd forget you if i could

i know i probably should be sleeping, not thinking this through

but i can't stand it, i can't stand it

iii. bastille - million pieces

we're too far gone, nothing i say will mean anything

just drink, fuck, dance, right through disaster

i don't want to talk about it now

iv. hyunjin & bang chan - red lights

i cannot breathe without you being right by my side, i'll die

so can you please come over closer? hold me tight, right now

... i really wanna know, yeah, i've already lost control

v. kai - hello stranger

even if i go under the lights, i'm lonely

i'm alone in the back of the noise

reflected in the glass, i see you

something familiar to me

vi. nothing but thieves - can you afford to be an individual?

what will you do when the vultures come for you? will you run and hide?

so are you scared of your introspection? why could that be?

and as your stare into your reflection what do you see?

[nouvelisarchived]

🎵for the thieves

playlist meme / accepting!

i. kai - amnesia 

forget me before i know you, erase everything that's not you

my memories are only filled with you, can't remember anything before you

ii. daniela andrade - $$$

i don't need diamonds on my wrist, diamonds on my thighs

diamonds on the floor, we making love on tonight

just give me a kiss, take me for a ride

if you got no wheels then i can kick it on my bike

iii. hozier - dinner & diatribes

i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

tell me, tell me, tell me

that's the kinda love i've been dreaming of

iv. the marías - hold it together

what is happenin' to me, inside my head, 

i don't know if i could be a remedy or antidote

want you to talk to me and see if i'm the only one, 

like i'm draining out the water from a water gun

v. taemin - waiting for

memory is always just an afterimage,

you're close yet too far for me to reach you

i need to know you now,

this dream will repeat endlessly

iv. onewe - parting

by the time the repeated collision between you and i dies down, 

you're already turning against me

in the day before the asteroid hits the earth, 

i’ll tell you the words i wasn't able to tell you

[nouvelisarchived]

💭for murder bfs

☁️ for a thought my muse had about yours / accepting though i’m a snail 🐌

"since when do you care about what people think of you?" he asks, as slow, lazy fingers crawl along hyunwoo’s brow bone, to the striking prominence of his cheek. even before their lives took the stranger paths, hyunwoo had always been the one who walked with an ease so natural that it could not have been pretence, whereas he only mastered the art so well that it appeared effortless. his smothering gaze follows the course of his fingertips. the slope of that lovely chin, the tender bruises from the night’s delights, a ravishing crimson against pale flesh. but you’re not just anyone. the eyes respond. you’ve never been just anyone. for so long he was made to believe he was alone. that no one could understand the hollowness that came with teetering on the line between dead and alive. do you know that just by existing, even with your hand around my neck, your blade against my neck, how much you have given me? and it is a terrifying thing to possess, that little flame called hope. flickering and unsteady. contradicting and exasperating. the way it licks his bones, illuminating what was dark before it does what it does best: devour and demolish. he doesn’t fight it. doesn’t flee from it. perhaps he wants it. perhaps he deserves nothing less.  “you are the knife i keep against my throat.” the gasoline in my mouth. the firestorm that eats me alive. “you are what i cannot quit.” 

[nouvelisarchived]

💭ur CHOICE

☁️ for a thought my muse had about yours / accepting though i’m a snail 🐌

"otherworldly is the first word that comes to mind." the young soprano muses, eyes on the mirror as delicate fingers untangle midnight hair. she thinks about that voice. fierce and passionate. strong yet delicate. a strange kind of ancient that pulls a string in her and resonates even when it’s gone. haunting, as he does the catacombs and countless corridors of the great opera house. "it baffles me, the amount of talent he has — it sweeps me off my feet and puts me to shame. the way he sings... it is unlike anything i have heard." and she has seen many talents in her brief lifetime, the wondrous and the praised, but they are nothing like him. nothing next to him. he must know of this, too, still he stays in the dark. yet, it is she he chose to sing for. “you must think i’m mad, don’t you?” but i have seen him in the flesh, mags, it is not all in my head. i have heard what he composed. the symphonies of heavens, the serenades for hell. i have seen the man before the mask and stood unafraid. but she must not expose him to dangers lest anyone learn of his lair in the waters — or is she already, by confiding in her trusted friend? “perhaps an angel is what he is. no mortal should sound like that or we’ll all be out of business rather soon.”