Hi, it’s me, the person who spends way too much time thinking about fics they’ve already written. When I finished Haunt/Hunt in January I said that a few months down the line I would do a post talking about what I think I could have done better. I feel like now is the time, it’s been long enough that I’m not overly sensitive about the fic and defensive of it.
This is not going to be a cumulative review of the fic, that would be way too much work and I’d rather devote my energy to new projects. Rather I just want to identify some things I think could be handled more efficiently or effectively in future fics. This isn’t meant to be self flagellating or victimizing, I am still very proud of the fic and I don’t have any major regrets. That said:
What Could Have Gone Better:
Number one is probably pacing/overall length. The fic is over 700,000 words long. On the one hand, it covers the length of pretty much the entire ASOIAF series, so I very much doubt I could have written it in 100,000 words or less, as some writers advise every story can be told in. On the other hand, I don’t think it needed to be 700,000 words long and there are probably some chapters, especially the ones set at Riverrun during Nell’s pregnancy or at the Twins when she is being held prisoner, that could have been combined or compressed to make the pacing a bit tighter. I probably could have gotten the fic to 500,000 words or less with more editing and scrutinizing. That aside, I don’t think the pacing is that terrible, but the opening of the fic is quite slow and the plot really doesn’t kick into gear until Chapter 10. I probably could have cut down the opening events to just 5 chapters worth.
Number two is I think the POV balance, which is kind of janky when you consider that Nell is the sole narrator until Chapter 21, at which point we meet Beth, and then in 38 we meet Dana and 58 we meet Jory. I don’t regret including more than one POV but I think they maybe could have been balanced better or introduced earlier on, I’m still not really sure. I think it worked, more or less, but it’s not the same flow as in the canon series where the POVs are more balanced.
Number three is Roose. Don’t get me wrong I love Roose as a villain and I absolutely don’t reget him playing an antagonistic role in the story. What I do think is that if I were to write it again I would try to make his characterization more subtle and I wouldn’t go into such excruciating detail regarding Nell’s upbringing. I don’t think Roose comes across as completely over the top or out of character in the story but again, I think he could have been handled a bit more delicately and maybe with more nuance to him than just ‘he’s basically the same as Ramsay he just hides it much better and is a little more thoughtful’.
Number four is the Red Wedding. I absolutely will never apologize for including it and it is a crucial aspect of the story THAT SAID I admit it was not necessary for it to occur in such a similar manner to canon and I think I could have been more creative with how the Bolton and Frey betrayal came about. It did end up changed slightly from canon with the attack happening in the early hours of the morning after the wedding but I could have been more original with it and I concede for some readers it was probably frustrating to have to it happen in so similar a manner.
Number five is Brienne and Theon, I feel like I could have done more with her character and that she kind of just ended up playing second string to Jory’s narrative. I obviously don’t regret including her or Hyle or Pod in the story but I feel like I could have done more with Brienne. The same goes for Theon, I feel like his plot could have been mixed up a bit, not exactly sure how but it didn’t really change much from canon and I feel like that was a wasted opportunity.
Number six is the northern lords in general. I don’t think I wrote them off entirely but they do end up kind of taking a backseat to the Nell - Stannis - Harry K - Jon Snow- Daenerys drama of the last quarter of the fic and besides Barbrey and Harry and Alys and the Hornwoods they didn’t get as much page time as they probably should have. I tried to be mindful of all the northern political maneuvering but I could have done more with it. I feel the same way about the wildlings, on a similar bent, I didn’t delve into them as much as I would have liked in my rush to finish up the fic.
Number seven is Dany and her dragons. While I was very firm about not suddenly switching to depicting all the southern plotlines as well, if you take the story as a standalone the entrance of Team Dany comes very sudden and abrupt and she also exits the story in a fairly abrupt manner. I liked what I was able to do with her in the brief time she was there but I feel like she could have made an entrance a bit earlier and we could have spent more time with her, Tyrion, Missandei, the Dothraki, etc.
Those were the major points I wanted to hit on but there are probably many scenes and plot points in the fic that were either confusing, a bit too dry, or just unnecessary. Ultimately I do try to improve in various aspects with every project. Haunt/Hunt definitely is an improvement on I Was Whole. We’ll see if AOUH improves on anything from Haunt/Hunt. But yes, while the fic has gotten a lot of praise, I don’t want to ever give the impression I believe it is flawless or perfect or that it couldn’t have been done better.
1) BTS: Dynamite. Jackson-5-Lite but written by two white people. A good tune and melody but the vocal processing in post-production ruined everything. Any unique inflections and characteristics were digitally removed to create this homogenous computer generated voice. When they did the partially-live performance for the VMAs, you can hear more of their normal voices and it made the song miles better. I maintain that Jimin sounds better in the lower register but I guess I’m alone in that opinion. I won’t hate on the music but the vocal engineer should be fired. A live band version is what this kind of song deserves. It needs slap bass and less auto tune. 6/10.
2) BLACKPINK feat Selena Gomez: Ice Cream. At least 6 people wrote this song, including actual has-been Teddy Park, mumblevocalist Ariana and originator of Lisa’s Blaccent, Bekuh Boom. What was I expecting? I had low expectations and I was still disappointed. Lisa is so One Note, she just cannot do anything else but that one flow and style. On the bright side, for a COVID music video, I thought Selena and BP did vibe very well together and I can understand why people would enjoy it. This is a non-song song that went nowhere except in the direction of Rose’s shrill voice. The euphemisms weren’t lost on me and to pair it with the very cutesy image was not something I enjoyed. We get it. You want to be cute but also want to suck dick. I’m tired. So progressive. Wow. 4/10.
3) YOUNG K: Greatest. This man. This actual man. I don’t where to start. He’s legit in everything he does: lyricists, composer, vocalist, performer, human, fox. He just dropped this song out of nowhere, as he is wont to do sometimes haha. Just casually drops some gold like it’s no big deal. But it is a big deal. Maybe I’m so jaded with the trend for non-sensical chaotic songs with no chorus or meaning that it’s so refreshing to hear something with proper verses, proper choruses, proper lyrics. And he didn’t even want to take my money for this. Brian Kang, let me financially support you bro. 9/10.
4) DAY6: Where the sea sleeps. If there was such a thing as a lullaby for grown-ass adults, I think this is it. I don’t know what I expected but the video and song delivered. They just don’t write bad music, ever. It sounds very much like an OST song and I do mean that in the best way. It’s not even my type of music/style but I can appreciate that it’s really well written and performed. The video absolutely elevated it because Dowoon’s dog cartoon is too cute. This is calming, soothing, comforting and very sweet. 7/10.
5) JYP and SUNMI: When We Disco. This is so camp and ridiculous but when you have two seasoned performers who fully commit and embrace the concept? It turns out awesome. You can’t even laugh at it in Mocking. You laugh along with it. And that is something the new gen aren’t really that good at yet. I love the disco genre and I really like what they did here because the instrumentation and performance really honours it. 7.5/10.
