#incorrect discworld quotes

[mrpinniped]

The Ankh-Morpork City Watch responds to the statement that All Cops Are Bastards.

Carrot Ironfounderson: Actually, I was a foundling.

Nobby Nobbs: *narrows eyes* Who told you that?

Fred Colon: I didn’t see nuffink.

Angua: My pedigree is none of your business.

Constable Visit: And that is why I have been trying to get them to read the good book of Om!

Dorfl: LET US DEBATE THE POINT.

Detritus: And it was you what did it, weren’t it?

Cheri Littlebottom: I’m just doing my job.

Sam Vimes: …And?

[abomination-unto-nuggan]

Incorrect Discworld Quotes #2

Drumknott: An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.

[yeoldecryptid]

It would have been pretty funny if this happened in Jingo.

the gang is on their way back home when this exchange happens:

Vetinari: where’s Leonard?

…

Colon: We left him there didn’t we.

Cut to Leonard, who is yet to notice.

[headcanonsandmore]

Sally: Is being attracted to both Angua and Carrot weird?

Cheery: No. I think that's called having eyes.

[birdenjoyer]

Discworld incorrect quotes 31

Sybil: You're smiling. What happened?

Vimes: What? Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Angua: Moist fell down the stairs.

[ohyousillything]

Bail Organa, probably: General, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you. Anakin: sir? Bail: It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority. Anakin: sir? Bail: That’s practically zen.

[space-morningstar]

Incorrect Discworld quotes

Moist, to Adora, lying face down on the bed, regretting everything: and then I called him dad.

Vetinari, having tea with Leonard: and then he called me dad, can you believe it? I'm so proud

[mortispoxi]

Moist: All of my haters are always asking me things like, “Oh, aren’t you wanted by the city watch?” 

Moist: I’m wanted by a lot of people ok! That’s the price of being pretty! 

Moist: ...Anyway, I did commit a smidge of grand larceny.