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Happy June.

Sima Qian: I keep a protrait of His Majesty in my drawer. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

Sima Qian: And I tell myself: "If I survived this asshole, then I can survive anything."

Assassin: I'm going to kill you!

Huhai, pulling out a scroll: Wait hold on I have to ask Chancellor Zhao first.

Assassin: ...That's not how this works?

Huhai: He said no. Sorry!

Assassin: What?

"What up, I'm Liu Bang, I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read." -Liu Bang, probably, sitting somewhere in Pei County

Liu Ju: Mother, I've found out that Father's ears tends to flush when he lies!

Wei Zifu: What do you mean?

Liu Ju: Look at this.

Liu Ju: Your Majesty! Do you still love me?

Liu Che, covering his ears: Yes, but of course. What a silly question.

Wei Zifu: ...

Ying Zheng: So are we flirting right now?

Gao Jianli: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU.

Ying Zheng: That doesn’t answer my question.

*If the warring states were personified*

Chu: Ah, Qin, my arch enemy.

Jin: ...I thought I was your arch enemy?

Chu: Things change, Jin. I have a life outside of you.

Sun Wu: This is bothering me.

Ji Guang: Well, to be fair, Wu Zixu did dig up a corpse. And is brutally whipping it.

Sun Wu: What, no, that's pretty normal actually. I meant, doesn't he get tired? We're at 200 lashes and counting.

Ji Guang: Oh, that. You're right, where does he get that stamina from?

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