Send me a ship and one of these and i’ll write a mini fic || Accepting || @infelliix
20: things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear
Everything had been so dark. Not just the room – he hadn’t turned the light on, and had not taken the time to light the candles either – but his thoughts as well. It was as if all the colors had been slipped away, as if nothing could be seen any longer, just as Halle had told him about Near’s plan. Mello had been working on a plan of his own for months, but that plan wouldn’t matter anymore if Near would get to execute his first.
And so he quickly had to think of something, but everything seemed too dangerous. (Too dangerous? For Mello? Impossible.) No matter how detailed his thoughts were, his plans would end in one way or another – death. And perhaps that was the exact way to go. Accepting defeat was no option, he couldn’t sit back, relax, and watch Near rush to victory on his own. No… hadn’t Mello told him that he would be waiting for him at their destination? He was going to keep that promise, even if it would kill him.
After a few minutes of pondering in silence, he finally spoke up again, though the tone of his voice had changed. It almost sounded sad in a way, though determined.
“I’ll have to do it, before Near… even if it would mean my death…”
He had not given her a chance to answer to his words, and had ended the call. But what he had not expected was that his partner had been listening in on him, and just as he ran a hand through his hair, he heard stomping footsteps approach him. Clearly, the other wasn’t in a good mood.
“Who were you talking to, and what was it about… and what do you mean with ‘your death’. I thought what we were working on wouldn’t cost us our lives?”
“Matt… look, screw that plan, alright, we can’t wait that long.”
“So you want to give away your life instead?!”
It’s what caused vicious eyes to look up, narrowing at the other, though meeting eyes that contained a mixture of emotions. He wasn’t sure whether he was seeing fear, shock or anger. It just made him wonder how much the other had heard exactly.
“I don’t want to give away my life – of course not! That’s not the way to beat Near or catch Kira, is it?”
“So it’s all about Near again, isn’t it.”
Both of them were standing now, just an arm-length away from another. Their eye contact still wouldn’t be broken, almost afraid it would leave them open for attack, be it verbally of physically. It was the older, though, who spoke up first.
“If we won’t act soon then he might… he might find the solution and I…”
“And you what, you’ll lose? Just think about it, Mello! If you lose then what?! At least you’d still be alive and hidden – you’d still be here with me! … Sometimes I honestly think you care more about Near than about me.”
Teeth gritted, jaw clenched, and arms reached out. With quite some force, Mello pushed Matt up against the wall, glaring at the other with a piercing and dangerous glare. If looks could kill, then it would have caused another death.
“How dare you fucking say that?! Don’t be so fucking childish! You know it doesn’t work like that! I just… I can’t act like I’ve given up!”
“Childish?! I’m not acting childish – I at least show that I care! You are being selfish here, as usual! What about me, huh? What if you die? I would be left with nothing!”
And slowly the struggles seized, but the tension didn’t. No words were spoken either, and Mello simply looked down, his eyes aimed at the striped fabric of the other’s shirt, while Matt had his gaze aimed at the floor, which was filled with all kinds of garbage. They stood like this for a long time, as Mello had been thinking of how to formulate an honest apology, yet a plea for the other to let him go, while Matt was pondering on a method of how to get this idea out of Mello’s head.
Both seemed to be working on something impossible, though it was Matt who gave it a try before Mello could.
“If you’re going down… then I’m going with you.”
