It was Rhett’s idea. Link just went along with it, as always.
After the Red Bull episode, he was convinced he could reach a higher plane of existence if he just tried a little harder. Spent a little more time in his own head, rather than be distracted by lights and cameras and questions.
Link didn’t really care. The Red Bull didn’t do much for him other than make him cold and make his nipples hard. He remembered they punched each other a lot. The rest was a bit of a blur, and he hadn’t bothered to watch the episode. By the end of it he really needed to pee, but otherwise he had no lasting side effects. So doing it again didn’t seem like a big deal.
The supply of Red Bull was already at the creative house when they arrived, so it was clear that Rhett had been planning it for awhile. They counted out their cans, with Rhett taking one extra just to see what it might do. At the most, he thought it might make his heart race a little and make him have to pee sooner than the last time.
Link brought his first can over to the couch and took a seat, sipping it leisurely. There were whiteboards on the coffee table, with dry erase markers, and a few other memory tests Rhett had planned out.
Rhett was still in the kitchen, downing his first can quickly and tossing it in the recycling bin, before grabbing another open can and tucking the rest under his arm. Link’s four unopened cans were still sitting on the counter.
“You gonna bring yours out there?” he called to Link.
“Not yet,” Link called back from the living room. “I’m gonna sip mine slowly and enjoy it.”
Rhett rolled his eyes and headed for the living room. “Dude, that’s not what this is about.”
“Man, we’re not filming! Don’t tell me how to drink my Red Bull.”
“I’m just saying,” Rhett took a seat next to him and started lining his cans up on the table. “If we’re going to reach another plane of existence we need to drink fast.”
“That’s your plan. I’m just along for the ride and I wanna take my time.”
“Fine, I just thought we could do it together.”
Rhett downed another can, but didn’t say anything more. But Link seemed to sip a little faster and then headed to the kitchen to get the rest of his cans.
*
*BRAAAPPP*
The first few cans mostly resulted in a lot of burping.
“Uhhh I’m already feelin’ full,” Link breathed through a burp. “I forgot about this part.”
“It’s carbonated, how did you forget about this part?”
*UUURRRP*
“I think I blocked it out.” Link leaned forward and examined the items on the coffee table. “Man, you didn’t bring the stickers?”
“What?”
“The happy face stickers!”
“You wanted those?”
“Yeah! At least it would be a distraction.. Right now I’m just burpin’.”
“Well I didn’t bring them. You wanna punch me instead? I’m feelin’ punchy.”
“No, I don’t wanna punch you. Yet.”
“Can I punch you?”
“NO!”
“Aw, come on, man!” Rhett grabbed a throw pillow and punched it a few times. “I can feel it building. I gotta drink another can.”
“How many do you have left?”
“Two because I have that extra one.”
“I still got, like, three and a half.”
“Well hurry up!”
*
“Give me your cans, give me your cans.” Link was standing in front of the coffee table, stacking cans, his jittery hands adding each one carefully. “Give me that one!”
Rhett handed over a can, his eyebrows raised high up his forehead as he watched Link stack. It was amazing. It looked amazing. It was teetery, it should’ve fallen, but it was somehow still standing, almost ten cans high.
“I got one more!” Rhett exclaimed. “Pile it up and I’ll punch it!”
“Don’t punch it!”
“I’m gonna!”
“Rhett!”
Rhett chugged his last can and passed it over. “Put it on!”
Link took the can, but held it up, his arms raised. “I’m gonna put this on, but don’t punch it. I mean it, man, don’t.”
“Link..” Rhett whined. He really wanted to punch it. Really bad. So bad. Punch punch.
Link pointed to his chest. “I’ll let you punch me. Just leave it alone, leave it alone.”
“Fiiiiine.” Rhett leaned back against the cushions and watched as Link stacked the last can. He looked thrilled with himself, and he ran his hands down either side of the stack, amazed with that he’d done.
“Rhett, look, look!”
It lasted only another second before one of Link’s shaky fingers tapped it and it fell sideways, seemingly in slow motion as Link made a grab for it.
“Nooooooooo!” he yelled as the cans clattered to the floor.
“Should’a just let me punch it.”
“Dude, shut up.”
*
“Think of another number, from one to a hundred.”
“We’ve already done like ten numbers,” Link sighed. “You got them all wrong. Doing it more isn’t gonna prove that you have psychic abilities.”
“Just one more, just one more. I swear I’m gonna get it.”
“Okay.” Link held his whiteboard away from Rhett’s view and wrote something down.
Rhett stared at him intensely. Concentrating.
“Okay. I feel it. Oh. I see it. Okay okay. I see it coming through.”
“Write it down.”
Rhett wrote something on his own whiteboard and then turned it around to show Link.
“54”
“That’s it!” Link tossed his whiteboard down beside himself.
“Really!?”
“Yep.”
Rhett stared at him suspiciously. “You’re lying.”
“Nope.”
“Show me your board.”
“Nope, you got it.”
“Liar,” Rhet laughed. “Show me.”
Link picked up the whiteboard and flipped it to show him.
THIS IS STUPID
“Man, shut up.” Rhett grabbed both whiteboards and tossed them onto an empty chair. “We’ll try again later.”
*
“I feel like I have access to all knowledge of the universe right now,” Rhett mused, leaning back on the couch. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been there. Maybe five minutes. Maybe a hundred. Maybe a thousand. “I feel like I know everything. EVERYTHING.”
“You wanna try the suitcase game?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright.” Link leaned forward to look him in the eye. “I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a camera.”
Rhett grinned. “I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a camera and a hamburger.”
“I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a camera and a hamburger and a clean shirt.”
“I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a camera and a.. hamburger.. and a clean shirt!”
“I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a camera and a burger and a clean shirt and a psychic.”
“I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a burger and a camera and a clean shirt and a psychic!”
“Dude, you gotta add something.”
“And a..” Rhett was still smiling, leaning forward, looking at Link as if he was going to give him the answer. “And a.. camera!”
“We already said camera.”
“Two cameras!”
“Fine, I’m goin’ on a trip and I’m packin’ a burger and a camera and another camera and a psychic.. and a..”
Rhett rocked back and forth, his hands between his thighs, “Aaaaaaa..”
“A can of Red Bull!”
“I’m going on a trip and I’m packing two cameras and a burger and a can of Red Bull and… a..” Rhett was still rocking, his folded hands tucked farther up his thighs, “a.. coffee table! Man, I’m so hard right now. Are you hard?”
“My nipples are hard.” Link looked down at his shirt, bringing his fingers up to poke each nipple. “I feel like I could cut right through this shirt.”
Rhett picked up a couple cans and tried to crush them. He needed to smash something. Crush crush. Smash.
Link sat off to the side by himself, unbuttoning his shirt.
Rhett tossed the cans down. “I might punch you.”
"Don't punch me,” Link whined, pointing to his bare chest. “I got so red and bruisy last time.”
“Punch me then.”
Link leaned over and punched his chest. Quick little jabs. Punch punch.
Rhett straightened his back, tightening his body. “More more more.”
Punch punch punch.
“Remember you pinched my goozle?”
“Yeah, what was that about?”
“Pain and pleasure, I guess.” Link swung his leg over Rhett's thigh so he was half on him. “Pinch my goozle again.”
Pinch pinch. Pinch pinch pinch.
“More more more more more,” Link’s voice changed a little, and then he let out a high-pitched laugh and knocked Rhett's hand away.
“Does it hurt?”
“No,” Link pointed at his neck, “okay do it again, do it again.”
Rhett did, squeezing the little bump between his fingers. Pinch pinch.
Link laughed again, high, and jumped up from the couch. “Man, I gotta get outta these clothes.”
Link shook off his unbuttoned shirt, letting it fall to the floor, and then he unzipped his jeans.
“Aren’t you cold?” Rhett’s hands were back between his thighs, tucked in as he rode the pressure of them there. Rock rock rock. Press press press. “I’m so cold.”
“Yeah, I’m freezing,” Link grinned and pointed to his arms, “I’m covered in goosebumps!”
Link stripped off his jeans and ran a quick lap around the living room.
“I feel like I could run forever!”
He was smiling as he moved, his eyes wild as he ran around in his boxer briefs.
After two laps he stripped his boxer briefs off and tossed them on top of the whiteboards.
Rhett laughed. “What’re you doing?”
“Too restrictive,” Link replied. “I just need to be naked. Just bare. Nothin’ on my skin.”
Rhett sat and watched him. Link was hard, his dick bobbing as he ran.
“Thought you said you weren’t hard.”
“I never said that,” Link replied. “I said my nipples were hard.”
Rhett kept staring. He wanted to catch him. Grab him. Maybe punch him. He just needed to punch something.
“If I catch you, can I punch you?”
“Maybe,” Link replied, still in motion, “but you’re not gonna catch me.”
He continued moving, doing laps as if he wasn’t even considering Rhett.
Rhett stared, focused. He was sure that if he just looked long enough time would slow down, Link’s movements would slow too, until only Rhett would be in motion. He’d be fast. Faster than anyone in existence. Faster than sound. Faster than the speed of light. He would be the universe. The universe would be him.
He moved suddenly, jumping from the couch, and Link let out a yelp and immediately changed course, running towards the kitchen. Rhett followed him, fast, faster than he’d ever moved. The room was a blur and his only focus was Link. He had to catch him. He needed to punch him. Or be punched. He wasn’t sure.
Link zipped around the kitchen island, and stood on the other side of it as Rhett entered the kitchen. It was a game now, and they grinned maniacally at each other as Link moved to one side and Rhett lunged for him, and Link quickly zipped back to the safety of the opposite side of the island.
Link stood across from him, stark naked, and still hard. His little nipples were stiff and Rhett could see the goosebumps pimpling across his chest and down his arms.
He wanted to grab him. Just reach across the island and hold onto him. Get him bent over something.
For a moment he was sure it would work if he tried it. His arm would just stretch over the island, and it would grow and grow until it reached him.
“You out of it, brother?”
Link’s voice pulled him from his haze.
Rhett shook his head. “You gonna let me punch you?”
“If you catch me,” Link grinned, “you can punch me.”
“Swear it?”
“I swear.”
Rhett lunged, stupidly trying to reach across the island, and Link ran for it – sprinting out of the kitchen and down the hall.
Rhett hoped he wouldn’t go for the double-door closet or the jack and jill bathroom. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to navigate either of those options. The reach across the island was making him question everything. Maybe he wasn’t the universe. Maybe he was just jacked up on caffeine.
When he reached the hallway he was met with silence.
“Link!”
Nothing. Rhett crept down the hall, listening, trying to figure out where he might be.
A moment. Silence. And then suddenly a clang as something fell, and a soft “oh shit” and then Link came barrelling out of the back office, heading straight for Rhett.
Rhett stretched out both arms in an attempt to grab him, but Link was too quick, laughing as he squirmed past him, and he darted back towards the living room.
“I caught you!” Rhett called after him.
“Nope!” Link called back. “You gotta grab me!”
Rhett ran after him, expecting something challenging, but Link was just standing by the coffee table with a smug smirk on his face.
Rhett approached with caution. “You gonna run again?”
“Maybe.”
“Link.”
Link waited for him to approach. So close. Almost there. And then he attempted to run for it again, almost zipping past Rhett, almost beyond his grasp.
Rhett’s vision focused suddenly, zeroing in on Link’s wrist, and he reached for it, latching on and holding.
“Gotcha.”
He held tight, pulling Link to him, forgetting for a second that Link was still naked.
Link’s cock bumped against his thigh, and Rhett looked down between them.
“You gonna punch me?”
“I– ” Rhett looked up to meet Link’s gaze. He was still smirking. “I might.”
“Do it.”
Rhett balled up his fist and gave Link two quick jabs on his right side, the same place as before.
“Oww,” Link whined, “bruises!”
Rhett looked down at the area he’d hit. It still looked normal, but he knew the mottled red marks would be quick to appear. Without thinking, he dipped his head down and licked the skin there.
“Rhett..”
The name was enough. Link’s voice. The soft little gasp.
Rhett was moving suddenly, his mouth dipping further down, and he licked at a hard little nipple. Link gasped again so Rhett moved to the other side, licking and sucking, nipping at the hard little bud.
He’s not sure when they moved, time seemed to skip, but suddenly they were on the couch, his mouth still on Link’s chest, his hard little nipples now red and soaked with spit, and Rhett’s dick was out, pressing into Link’s thigh and dipping down into the crease there as he rocked his hips.
Link was still gasping, whining a little now, his cock tapping up against Rhett’s belly and dragging a long line of wetness across it.
Rhett was done punching. He wanted something else now. His body was humming with it. He wanted to slam into Link. To just fuck the hell out of him.
He pulled away from Link’s chest and looked up to meet his gaze. Link looked completely out of it, his gaze soft, his pupils blown wide.
Rhett slipped a hand under one of his knees and pushed it up, testing, and then tried the other one, almost folding Link in half. Links hole was right there and Rhett spit onto it, a long line of saliva trailing down. Then he slid his cock over it, teasing the sensitive spit-covered skin.
“I’m gonna fuck you.”
Link nodded. “Yeah.”
“I gotta get lube.”
“Okay.”
Rhett pushed against his hole, just a bit, coaxing a whine out of Link.
“Don’t make me catch you again.”
“I won’t.”
“Swear it?”
“I swear.”
Rhett looked at him for another second. He didn’t look like he’d be able to run anywhere.
Rhett stood and sprinted through the house, his feet sounding like thunder on the hardwood as he ran to his office.
When he returned, Link was still where he swore he’d be –on his back on the couch– and when he saw Rhett he pulled his legs back up, his knees to his chest.
“C’mon,” he murmured, a lazy smile on his face, “punch me with your dick.”
Time skipped again and Rhett was over him, his cock buried deep.
Rhett was fucking in, his hips slapping against Link’s skin, faster than he’d ever fucked. Power fucking. He was power fucking. He was sure it must be a thing. If not, it should be. Maybe it should be an Olympic sport. He could probably win a gold medal in it.
“Stop talking.”
“What?”
“You’re not gonna win a gold medal in power fucking.”
He glanced up at Link for a second and Link was still smiling at him.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“No, I read your mind.”
“Really?”
“NO!” Link pulled him back down, pushing Rhett’s mouth over his nipples, effectively shutting him up.
Rhett licked over him, teasing one nipple and then the other, his lips instinctively moving over Link’s skin, up over his collarbone, towards his neck. “Can I lick your goozle?”
“Yeah” Link panted. “Bite it.”
“Oh gosh,” Rhett breathed, “I’m not gonna bite it.”
But he did, he tried it, just a little. A nibble.
His teeth scraped along the bump in Link’s neck.
Link moaned again, and Rhett could feel it. Like a hum in his mouth as Link’s goozle vibrated against his lips.
“Do it again.”
Rhett scraped over him again and then opened his mouth wide, taking the hard bump between his teeth, and closing his jaw a little. Soft. Bite bite bite.
It was hard to do while he was fucking, it was hard to be gentle when he was fucking in so fast, and Link yelped when his bite grew a little too forceful.
Link’s hand slipped between them, taking his leaking cock in hand and stroking, fast, in time with Rhett’s hips.
“Do it again. More more more”
Rhett bit him, a little harder this time, his tongue slipping out to sooth Link’s skin after each little nip.
“God, Rhett,” Link arched a little, his neck pressing harder into Rhett’s mouth, “like that. More.”
Rhett was so close. He was sure he needed to pee and he was so ready to blow his load, but he wanted to see Link go first. Wanted to see him fall apart.
He bit again, and licked. Bite lick bite lick bite lick until Link was coming and gasping “Oh god, oh god, Rhett.. more.. bite me..” as his free hand pinched over one of his nipples, and Rhett nipped at his neck.
Rhett made himself wait, somehow managing to hold off until he was sure Link was done, and he moved back, pulling out just in time to shoot over Link.
His cock was so hard, harder than it had ever been. Like a rod. Like steel in his hand.
Rhett shouted as he painted him, coating Link in cum, his jizz combining with Link’s as it pooled on his belly. It was amazing. It was beautiful. He was sure he saw the universe.
He was infinite. He was everything. They were everything. He and Link. Together. The center of the universe.
Link laughed under him. “Shut up.”
He’d been talking again.
Link grinned, and pulled him back down. “Stop talking and just kiss me.”
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
I was going to say none are really a wild ride (idk what that says about my writing) but maybe Infinite? Bite bite lick lick punch punch.
⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
None that are officially scrapped, but there are many many many that haven't made it past an outline.. They're all just kind of sitting there waiting.
🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?
I'm not sure.. I think a few people likely guessed the initial ending of Wild Horses (that last morning in the farmhouse kitchen) or hoped something similar would happen? And maybe elements of Pirate Rhett and Ghost Link, but nothing exact. ☠
