#ivfpregnancy

[pineapplecoreconfidentials]

🖤

when you’re 26 weeks pregnant and your delivering hospital updates their visitor policy (bc: COVID19) to no support people for labor & delivery.

Excuse me? (Immediately reread)

That means delivering alone.

Cue: immediate panic attack.

After properly freaking completely the fcuk out, the hospital rolled back this policy to allow one support person for l&d and thank my lucky, shining, brilliant stars for that. Daily and constant prayers that it remains in place or the need for a visitor policy at all lifts by end of June.

But that brings me to all the extras. Showers being postponed. Prenatal classes before cancelled. Diaper showers (whatever the hell that even is) being shut down. Other women seem bothered by missing these “milestones,” but to me - they’re just extras. I didn’t spend thousands of dollars and put myself through IVF hell for the stuff. I did it for the baby.

IVF prepared me for this: the trials, the tribulations, the heartbreak, the change of plans, the need to be flexible AF. The current pandemic has not sucked the joy out of this pregnancy: not by a long shot. It’s allowed me to rest at home while still working. It’s allowed me to walk in the sunshine daily. It’s allowed me to appreciate with a full heart all the blessings I have, first of which is: this miracle baby. The strength of an #ivfwarriorqween does NOT just apply to the conception. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

[queerlybelovedones]

This is the extent Tumblr will get of our face but we announced her name today!

So far everyone likes it and surprisingly a lot of compliments on her middle name lol which is funny cause when I was born on Christmas, my grandma wanted to name me Noel which my mom vetoed. Wife wanted baby’s middle name to be my middle name (Alexandra) but I didn’t like it. But the reference to my grandma and me is cute I think.

[10fingerscrossed]

A mixed bag

Today I am 29 weeks! Strangers are starting to now notice I'm pregnant and asking when I'm due and sharing their children's birth stories with me, which depending on the person, can be kinda annoying/awkward. It also can be awkward when people ask if this is your first baby. Of course it is but I always want to say and our only. There will be no other pregnancy or baby. It's still sad to me that we lost what could of been our girl. And now as I write this I cry. When I talk to colleagues at work, they have no clue what it took to have this child. I miss being around my old colleagues and friends who know how much work it took to become pregnant. And now, I see Facebook friends who are due around my same time starting to have baby showers. I will not be having an baby shower. At first it didn't bother me, but now as I see pictures of others showers, it is starting to bother me. I wish I could have a big party where friends and family could come celebrate this miracle baby with us. It's hard living so far away from family and also being new in a town with no friends. One girl whom I met at orientation and have gotten together with a few times did offer to throw me a shower. But I told her, who would come? I have a few people that I'm getting to know through work and that's pretty much it. It's hard when you don't work often to even develop tight friendships at work. I'm really trying to work on developing a little network of support people but it's slow going. I joined a FB moms group but I need to connect with new moms who have babies due around our same time. Anyway, I will end my sad little post here. I'm really not that sad though. I'm excited for our little guy to be born in the next 2 months or so. Counting the days down until we see his sweet little face!

[pineapplecoreconfidentials]

🖤

2019: we walked through the depths of infertility hell, flames licking at our heels every step of the way. It tested our relationships, our friendships, our bank accounts, our determination, our strength, our resolve. There were movements when I dared just succumb to the fire, to give up, to give in. But we pressed onward, burnt and broken, until so much science and so much love gave us what we fought for so badly: a pregnancy.

2020: entering the new decade at 14 weeks pregnant, I am humbled, hopeful, and grateful.

[pineapplecoreconfidentials]

🖤

Five weeks, 3 days pregnant

Bloodwork this morning w a surprise ultrasound. I wasn’t aware we were doing an ultrasound, and may have called hubs upwards of six times to get his booty down to the clinic, but apparently staying up late to watch the Sunday night NFL game got homeboy sleeping in today.

Well then.

Turns out, we have a gestational and a yolk sac! And a wiggly little worm-looking embryo tucked in that sac(s).

There were tears. There were lots of tears. Fact: I was blubbering like a baby. Bye bye, mascara, my lashes are flying solo today. These hormones are NO JOKE. Doc was so compassionate, sweet enough to say when I apologized like a fool for crying, “you worked so hard for this pregnancy!,” handing me a tissue.

HCG level went up almost 3000% (you go, HCG!) and progesterone is where it should be.

Next up next week: heartbeat.

[pineapplecoreconfidentials]

⚡️

yes. yes. yes. a hundred times: YEESSSS 👏🏻

[queerlybelovedones]

Much easier way of looking at baby’s room. Lots of neutrals and animals with some splashes of colour.

Baby estimated 7lbs at 37+6, 53rd % and was head down but I feel her in/out constantly so who knows.

She’s going to be here in a week. Shit.

[pineapplecoreconfidentials]

🖤

Welp, it was bound to happen.

My first preggo cold.

And there’s like three obscure items that are safe for use during pregnancy, one of which is Vick’s, which you can smell about seven miles away and makes people look at you like you have the Black Plague. Perfect fit for my holiday party tonight.