#jadene

[thetiredfanartist]

Best doodle i made of my ocs-

(From Left to Right: Bryone, Jandene, Mayasa, Haviee, and Puppet)

[your-missing-period]

i have this one oc named Jadene, and it makes me smile how many friends she had in one rp, and how many she annoyed at the same time.

And then I wonder

"what would they think if they knew she was a goddess now?"

[lezahbian]

I forgot to write this last week, but Gaydene you always pop up right when I need you and you don't even know it. Always give me a reason to smile again- even if just for one night- it's pure and true happiness not this bullshit not happy but not sad state I've grown so accustomed too. I don't say it really at all anymore, so here it is; thank you Jadene, I really do love you. inyourminiskirt

[your-missing-period]

Jadene Drabble

I've been doing a lot of these huh.

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Dear Breasal, Breasal, Dear Breasal,

I don’t know how to start this letter, I haven’t tried writing a letter before, but I read that writing these things down can help with emotions and thoughts and things, so I thought I’d give it a try.

You’re great. I know that’s hard for you to understand, or maybe it isn’t, you have a lot of confidence in yourself, but not too much to be big-headed. Pig headed? Well, you have enough, and that’s what counts. I like you, a lot, because you’re so great. I like how you smile and it’s really soft and gentle, even though I know you can smile brighter and grin if you wanted, but maybe you’re shy. I’d never seen you smile when I first arrived, and the fact you can show me your smile now is very wonderful. I’m humbled and honored you’d smile for me let alone at me. I know I’ve been a pain, but when you smile at me it’s contagious, like your happiness and joy just fills me and my chest and I feel so warm and joyful as well that I just can’t help but smile back. But again, your smiles are more conservative than mine, I just smile so large compared to yours, I worry my enthusiasm will drown you.

You’re really conservative compared to me, and I worry a lot about it sometimes. I know I can be a handful, or a pain sometimes, but you always tolerate me and accept my company. Even when I hated you, and perhaps you hated me too way back when, I wanted to prove you wrong so I’d go out of my way to change some aspect of myself. I was a child back then, child and old-fashioned. I just wanted to prove you wrong in the beginning, to prove I was better than what you thought of me. But you were right, there have been few times where you’ve been wrong about something I’ve done. Breasal you helped me grow, you’ve helped me grow so much I don’t know what to do to thank you. I just wanted to make you proud of me, and somewhere along the way I fell in love.

I don’t even know how to describe it, it’s the first time I’ve felt it. I’ve heard so many poems spoken by men and women alike but none of them could properly portray it. Breasal I just love you and it’s so dumb because it makes me want to cry and it makes my chest swell and my stomach knot up but at the same time they’re tears of joy and I can’t help but smile when you’re mentioned and I can’t go a day without wondering if something I see is something you’d like. It’s good and bad and smothering and refreshing and it’s so hard, Breasal. I want to call it one of the worst decisions I’ve made, but would it feel so painfully wonderful if it was wrong?

Just hearing you talk is more satisfying than the most sweetest of sonnets, and you go above and beyond the chivalry of a gentleman and you’re so incredibly intelligent on so many things. I even love the way your name sounds. Breasal. I did not think that in all my years of living, a name so simple could bring such joy and happiness. Just, Breasal.

And you always say my eyes are like stars, but you have never seen your eyes which to you may simply be blue, and narrow, and cold, but you do not see yourself when you talk. They can turn blue like the sky when you’re happy and when you’ve grown angry with me they turn the color of storm clouds and the sadness you portray reminds me of the dark depths of the ocean. Breasal you are just so wonderful and beautiful and if for one day we could trade placed I’d want you to see yourself how I see you because you are just so glorious.

I’ve stayed up countless nights thinking how I could tell you all of this. I’m bad with words, and so are you. We’re both pretty expressive people, our face shows everything but, I want to hear your words. I want to know how you feel about me. Because you kissed me, and it was warm, and rough and wild like the trees or the forests on the mountains, because you kissed me I want to be convinced that maybe you feel the same way, but with matters of the heart, they need to be spoken instead of assumed.

When I first entered your house, I was so shocked at how empty it was, how very, lonely, and clean it felt. I had hoped my intrusions and my gifts would liven them up, but even before that, entering your home it already seemed less lonely, I would spot the things that spoke of you in the house. Your furniture to your glasses to the whiskey you drink, maybe you weren’t as alone as I thought. I wanted to make you happy and brighten your days with plants and small things. You’ve done so much for me I didn’t know how to return it. You’ve made me love myself, you’ve made me grow, you’ve even bought me gifts which I didn’t need. But at the same time, I feel so terrible that I know not what you like aside from ‘simple things’ and the stars in my eyes.  I could list all the things I love about your. Your laugh, your smile, how you hold yourself, your intellect, your opinions on things even when they clash with mine, but ask me to tell me something about you and I draw a blank. What aside from the obvious? Suits, cutting wood, building things, stars even… perhaps I am terrible for loving you despite knowing so little.

But I love you. I’ve talked to Petunia so many times about her love for Avery, but never once has she mentioned loving someone so much that you wouldn’t mind sleeping next to them and waking to see their face, or how much you can love someone that you can enjoy the silence between you and them.

 Breasal I am a hopeless fool in love and it’s so terrifying to not know what you feel or think. I imagine the scenarios where you do not feel the same, and it hurts, it hurts quite a lot. But for the sake of friendship I will grin and bear it, because I would still love to be your friend. Petunia has mentioned it would make things awkward, so if it does, knowing you were in my life makes me content. I have eternity and the next life to look forward to. I should thank you for helping me grow at the very least in the case you don’t feel the same.

Petunia told me it would hurt.

[your-missing-period]

ASK MY OC

Hey guys!

Currently I'm in the process of developing a character but she won't tell me much about herself yet. So this is where I open it up to you! 

Now I've mentioned her here before and I've written some drabbles, but Jadene is stil a mystery to me.

So send messages to Jadene in my ask box and she'll answer them!

[your-missing-period]

More Jadene drabbles below. 1930 words.

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I’ve seen people in love, adults, children, those in between. Love isn’t hard to spot despite its various forms. They could be holding arms, laughing with each other, talking, or just enjoying the silence and company of the other. I’ve had men come to me for my services, telling me about the people they no longer loved but stayed with regardless because there was love, so they loved the memories. Some men would start but then stop, and I would sit and listen to their problems at home. They were mostly all young, new to marriage, new to this stage in their life. I respected these men, they knew they had to fix something, had to change. Love is never hard to spot. It was the act of falling in love I couldn’t recognize. How does one spot that?

I can go through my head and my memories over and over again, looking for that sign of someone falling in love, but unlike love, falling in love is so very, very different. How does one do it? Is it just walking someone pass you by and thinking they’re beautiful? Or does it start off as children, someone you grow up with? Does it start with simply loving yourself more than another, and that lures them in? No matter how many times I go through memories I cannot find one direct way of someone falling in love, and that frustrates me because I’m in love and I didn’t see it coming.

I’d arrived onto the island fresh from my death. I died before what is known as the ‘Renaissance Era.’ The island was new to me, new in technology, color, sounds, people. Petunia, my friend, was the first person I’d ever seen with such wild, red hair. There were colors everywhere that I could not afford, more colorful than the caravans when we prepared for festivals. I had not known such colors existed in my life. Kane, a second friend (if one would call him that) was a man who knew how the world worked. Science, he had called it, and I’d wanted to know so much more. But at the time, I couldn’t read let alone write, I was dependent on other’s help. And then there was Breasal.

A stubborn, criticizing man who was quick to point out my own hypocrisies would I was unable to notice them, or one to tell me that perhaps I should grow up instead of constantly asking others for help. He infuriated me, blond hair and blue-eyed like the noble running my town, stood like he knew he was right, and he was, and he knew it. I did not know how deep my hatred could run for a person. So I was going to prove him wrong. My first goal was to learn how to read. And… I didn’t know where to start. I couldn’t even read store signs let alone a book. I simply entered a building and wandered around for a bit. I must have been wandering around for a long time because the person at the front asked me if I needed help.

His name was Jin and he was an Orient, Chinese, someone from China. I’d never seen a man like him either, or at least with such facial features. He asked what I was looking for and I said something to teach me how to read. I’m not sure if this was funny or not because he had raised an eyebrow before politely asking if I could read, to which I stubbornly said no, but that I could learn. So he took out a few books for me, and being that I’d been dancing on the island for about a month now, I gave him whatever money I had collected for the books and was going to leave, but asked if I had someone who was going to help me. I hadn’t considered that. I couldn’t ask Petunia, she was having troubles in her life, currently, and Kane certainly wasn’t going to help, and Breasal was off the helping list. So Jin offered to help me teach, telling me when to be here (I knew how to read a clock-face, at least) and that he’d teach me how to read at his home.

I lied to Petunia when I told her about it, telling her Breasal was teaching me. And when talking about it to Breasal, trying to prove I could be better, I told him Petunia was teaching me. Both never questioned it, and I went to his house every night, pronouncing and writing to the best of my ability. My writing is somewhat limited still, and my penmanship isn’t the best, but I can write lists and my name and dates. Reading came somewhat easier, starting with books with pictures, following letters with my pencil and repeating that letter or that word constantly.

But writing isn’t all I did, there. I ate dinner, watched the television box, the man was like a father to me without actually being one. He listened to, all, of my worries. How the island was so new and different to me, how I didn’t understand it, how I felt lonely, even, on the island. He questioned whether I had friends and, to be honest, I hadn’t considered making friends. We talked about who I could be friends with, Petunia, Kane, a girl named Jackie who I became friends with afterwards. They were friends. He suggested Breasal, but he was more an enemy than a friend.

‘Friends are easier to have than enemies, Jadene.’ He told me over a dinner of boiled veggies and rice.

Since he hadn’t let me astray so far, I made my friendship with Petunia and Jackie and Kane official, but Breasal, Breasal not so much. I think I asked if he wanted to be friends, though, it seemed more like a truce than friendship.

And my months there grew better. So many things happened, festivals, games, hanging out. I’d even bought a house from Breasa, he built me one. It was kind of him to do so, I was able to move out of the church. And he could build me furniture, and beautiful pieces of art. It was possibly the first friendly thing he had done for me, aside from give me a music box for free. That might have been the start of our friendship, actually.

There was one thing in common though, regardless of where I went, and that was my body. I realized that not many women had a body similar to mine. It was strange, to say the least, but, it was not something I appreciated. I asked Petnia for help finding clothes like hers, since no one ever talked about her body, however, the clothes looked different on me than her, but, it was a start. After that I started buying clothes similar to it, hiding my scars, covering things, but I grew bold. I shouldn’t have to wear such boring suits all the time like Petunia and Breasal did. I invested in shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, anything to cover myself up without being too hot in the island heat.

I’m not sure what really happened, perhaps the body shame. Between growing as a person and wanting to be myself, I had hit something bad. Things I wanted to buy I didn’t, because I didn’t want to be spoken of, I didn’t want to be hated. As you know, though I had bought the dress, a beautiful, yellow dress. Breasal had come to visit shortly after, and I opted to change but he said I was fine and I just, sort of broke down. I told him my fears and my worries about myself, how I wanted to be respectable like him and Petunia wanted me to be. And Breasal had just listened, wandering around my house for things before, before trying to help me. He was attempting to sew a piece onto the low front so that I wouldn’t be showing myself off, though, he pricked his fingers more than the fabric, and he said everything was fine, and that I could be happy wearing what I was wearing. I think I started falling in love with him, that kindness right there, it made me happy.

But there was a problem, with my crushing on him. Jackie had a crush on the man, a terrible one. During the beach festival she had all but gone red in the face around him, so I suppose I ignored my own feelings for a while. I’d told Petunia about it and she warned me, but I didn’t listen, I was confident that I wouldn’t fall for the man, especially not if a friend of mine liked him so strongly.  I could ignore the fact that instead of going out to see fireflies we stayed inside and drank whiskey, I could ignore that I was conversing more with the man than my own friends, I could ignore how I enjoyed his company.

But, I couldn’t really ignore it for long. Breasal had broken into my home to leave me a gift, though, he had a key to my house he built it himself I’m not sure it qualifies as breaking in. And he’d left me this, bag, this beautiful, golden bag shaped like a star. He’d seemed so bashful when I caught him, and I wondered, maybe he likes me too. But I told myself not to think about it, we were friends, I just, I didn’t want to give myself false hope. Becoming Breasal’s friend had been a task in itself, I didn’t want to ruin it with childish feelings. I did want to repay him however, so I decided to return the favor.

I broke into his home, and yes, it was breaking in, and I left plants around his house to help them grow, I put a star lapel on one of his suits and, and he always complimented me about my eyes, how I had stars in them. Perhaps that’s why he liked stars so much I’m not sure. But I had broken in far too early, when he was out working, and I began to paint his ceiling in glow-in-the-dark paint, I was filling it with stars. He liked stars, I liked stars… I liked him.

Ignore it, I had to ignore it.

But he caught me planting flowers in his garden. His home was sort of, empty, and I thought plants might liven it up. For being his friend, I really knew quite little about Breasal, but, plants helped, I’d read. Plants helped people who lived alone because it made them feel needed, but the man had found me, with his narrow gaze and the permanent frown on his face. And offered me something to drink because of how long I’d been working. And we had just been talking, sitting on the grass enjoying a break and just… I had kissed him.

And it was rough, his lips scratched against mine, but I pulled away, it was, frightening. Just, kissing him, I didn’t know how to do it properly. I attempted to keep talking to him but he was the one who kissed me next. It was strong, heated, rough and wild like the woods, and I just. I wanted to keep kissing him. Even when he pulled away, I knew I only wanted to kiss him.

I used to hate him so much, I don’t understand, but, but I love it.

I love him.

And it’s confusing.

[musicumpire]

Stream: Jordan Sefton ft. Jadene – Time North London rapper/producer Jordan Sefton releases his new song "Time", which is a nice mesh of UK rap and R&B.