A groan came from you as the sound of crying came from the space next to you for the fifth time through the night. Your eyes looked beside you as a figure shuffled, watching as Jaebum rolled onto his back, equally frustrated to be disturbed once again, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
You’d spent most of the night laid on your back, waiting for the cries to come, with your daughter barely settling, you just couldn’t sleep, especially knowing that it was only going to be a matter of time before you ended up getting disturbed again.
Just as you went to sit up, a hand pushed you back down, as Jaebum rose up instead. “You’ve got her enough times tonight,” he assured, reluctantly pushing the duvet away from his body, kicking his legs out of the bed.
“She’ll probably be hungry,” you sighed, too exhausted to even move yourself.
Jaebum’s eyes didn’t leave you as he walked around the bed to the cot just beside you. “Maybe she just wants a cuddle, she doesn’t usually feed at this time,” he reminded you, knowing as ever, that you were fearing the worst.
Your body was on its last legs, everything was beginning to take its toll on you, overwhelmed by just how much was required of you being a mum. You couldn’t remember the last moment you had to yourself, especially with Jaebum so busy at work too.
“Hey,” Jaebum whispered as he peered into the cot, leaning over it so that he could scoop your daughter up and carry her across to the bed with him.
Your heart fluttered as you watched the two of them, even just a few weeks in, their bond was undeniable. As ever, in Jaebum’s arms, she settled, something that you hadn’t quite managed to crack whenever you spent time with her.
“Do you want a mummy cuddle?” Jaebum asked her, attempting to move her across to you, only for your hands to block him, hovering just over your chest to stop him from placing her down.
His eyebrows furrowed as you did so, confused as to why you didn’t want to hold her, as her tears subsided, he was sure that now you’d want to hold her and reassure her too.
“Alright, let’s stay with daddy then,” Jaebum spoke, trailing off awkwardly at the end as he made his way back around to his side of the bed, trying his best to figure out what was wrong.
As you remained silent, he was left with his own thoughts, piecing together what had happened with the other things that he had picked up on too. Little things had added up for Jaebum, as he began to wonder if there was something more to what was going on with you.
With your daughter now settled, resting against his legs as he stretched back out, Jaebum nudged you with his free hand. “It’s not good to keep your thoughts bottled up to yourself Y/N, especially not when they’re not very nice ones too.”
You weakly smiled back across to him, expecting Jaebum to pick up on all of the signs, knowing you as well as he did. You knew that you couldn’t keep it to yourself forever, no matter how stupid you thought you might sound.
“Everything I do, I feel like it’s wrong,” you whispered, digging your head further down into your pillow, “they always make having a baby seem like sunshine and rainbows, but right now it just feels like a dark cloud hovering over me.”
Of course, there were going to be moments when things got tough, but you never imagined that it would be as tough as this. You’d heard stories of people suffering, never thinking that it could happen to you, only for just that to happen.
“Why am I not doing it right?” You added, staring blankly to Jaebum for answers.
His bottom lip stuck out as you spoke, feeling his heart break as you finally admitted your worries to him. He had a vague idea of what was going on, but never did he imagine that you would be as hard as yourself, and struggling as much as you were.
The more you offloaded, the more your mind thought, sharing without even thinking several times. “I wish I could be that mum who rolls out of bed with a smile on her face in the morning, with everything organised too, but instead I just feel like a mess.”
“You’re doing an amazing job Y/N,” Jaebum tried his best to encourage.
“I wish I could believe you, but you know that you’re doing so much better than I am,” you whispered in reply.
His head immediately shook, refusing to let you compare the two of you. He had promised you throughout your pregnancy that the two of you were a team, and Jaebum was far from prepared to let you isolate yourself from him now.
“Having a baby takes a lot of adapting, and people cope in different ways,” Jaebum spoke, “some people snap straight into it, others don’t, but what’s most important is that you get used to things at your own pace.”
“I don’t even know what my pace is,” you gently laughed, “right now all I can think about is getting through each day at a time.”
“Day by day, that’s your pace,” Jaebum established, “each day you’re learning so much about being a mum, and you’re bonding with Y/D/N too, it takes time, all of this can’t happen in a day, even if you want it to.”
“I knew being a mum was going to be hard, but I never imagined it would be this hard,” you huffed, rolling onto your side to face the two of them properly.”
As your eyes landed on your daughter, you nervously reached one of your hands across, tickling gently against her tummy. The sound of her laughter immediately brought a smile to your face, as Jaebum’s reassuring eyes watched over you too.
“See, you’re doing a great job,” he smiled down at you, “sometimes I think you put too much pressure on your shoulders of yours to be perfect Y/N.”
Everyone wanted to be the perfect mum, the one that everyone aspired to follow, but in doing so, you had lost your own way of doing things. Jaebum had watched you compare, even to him, and doubt yourself even when you were doing things perfectly already.
As your arm moved away, Jaebum settled down, tucking him and your daughter up a little closer to you. “When you feel as if you’re not doing good, please talk to me Y/N, I don’t want you to feel alone through this anymore.”
Your head nodded in agreement with him, promising that you would make sure to let Jaebum know whenever you were starting to worry or beat yourself up over things.
“We’ll just keep taking things day by day, learn new things and figure out our own way of being mum and dad,” Jaebum suggested, “they’ll still be hurdles, but between the two of us I know that we’ll be able to get over them.”
“Will be facing hurdles forever with this one,” you chuckled.
Jaebum nodded, glancing down at your daughter as her eyes began to close again, “we always said that we knew we’d be in for trouble starting a family, and this little one certainly seems like she’ll be a right little troublemaker, don’t you think?”
“She’s got your smile, that definitely is a sign of trouble.”
“You love my smile,” Jaebum reminded you, “you said so, even on our very first date.”
Post Date: 6th July 2022
Content: Angst + Smut
WC: 4.1K
TW?: Enemies to lovers/ Coworker!Au/ Profanitites/ Name calling/ Slight voilence/ Unestablished relationship/ Nipple play/ Penetration/ Ass Slapping/ Handprints/ Bruising/ Overstimulating
Masterlists: Reactions / Scenarios / As
If you like my stuff and wanna tip, just buy me a coffee!
Hey! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it! <3
______________________________________________________________
Well that’s fantastic, isn’t it? The company needed people to travel across the country to help out in another store since they’re extremely understaffed, though you couldn’t comprehend why they had to send you. That wasn't the worst part of it, you wouldn’t have cared so much if you were paired with another one of your coworkers, however, they insisted that you had to travel with and work alongside Jaebum even in this store. Multiple times you’ve been dragged into your manager's office to discuss the negative work relationship the two of you had, and it wasn’t even your fault to start with, Jaebum made you feel unwelcome the minute your foot stepped through the doors, making stupid little comments and just being a plain, straight-up douche. There was no reason for it, and you gathered that he was just stuck up, very opinionated at the first glance and just cocky because he’s one of the best employees in the company. Hence why you were paired together, the two best employees for your shop being sent somewhere else to show how it’s done in the workplace. Though the company compromised by paying for your hotel, paying for petrol and giving you a car to travel in, you just wished it was under different circumstances.
The car journey had already set you both off on the wrong foot, arguing over who is going to be the designated driver and bickering over directions, already a great start, right?. “Jaebum, you have to take the next left onto the highway, it’ll be quicker!” you shout, shaking your phone with google maps showing the different routes that you could take. That wasn’t even the worst part, he puts his hand up as if to signal to you to shut up, shaking his head and muttering stuff under his breath, you barely even make out what he’s saying. “Grow the fuck up, Jae!” you whine, putting your phone back in your bag. You were so grateful you didn’t have to work straight away when you got to the destination, you had the rest of the day and night to have time to yourselves before having to spend 6+ hours together again for the shift. “God, you’re so whiney” Jaebum mutters, shaking his head as he continues to take that left turn you told him to take. Yo go to bite back at him but you quite literal bite on your tongue, it was best not to retaliate, it’ll make your life easier. As a last resort, you put your earphones in to listen to music, watching the landscape go by as you stare out of the window avoiding any type of conflict with Jaebum.
A few miles away from the final destination, the car starts to grumble and stall, until eventually you become stranded on a side road, the car completely breaking down on you. “What... why have we stopped?!” you shout, pulling out your earphones to look at Jaebum who has irritation written all over his face, sighing hard to himself, head rested on the headrest, slamming his hands on the steering wheel. “Fuck... sake...” he growls, unbuckling his seat belt, opening his door and leaving the vehicle, to phone your boss. As you watch his every move, you realise that this was gonna be a fun trip, first they pair you with the worst person possible, but now you’re only an hour or so away from your hotel. Your head falls into your hands, rubbing your temples with your fingers as you regret your life decisions. “Yes, we’re stranded, but I see a hotel down the road. We’ll have to stay there until the car gets fixed... I know it’s inconvenient, but what else do you expect me to do?!” you hear Jaebum shouting down the phone, almost bringing out a laugh at how short his temper fuse is. “Thank you!” he shouts, punching the car before taking a deep breath. His head pops around the door frame, signalling you to get out of the car, with a swift movement of his hand and thumb pointing behind him, nothing but anger on his face.
It was an extremely long wait for the repair services to come and look at the car, leaving you to walk to the hotel down at the end of the road to ask for rooms for the night, and to see if anyone was able to tow the car into the hotel carpark. Luckily the only thing going your way was the fact they had a tow truck on sight from another customer, paying them off to tow it for you, as you check yourself in for two single rooms. It was unsure how long it was going to take before you could get back on the road so the only option you had was to pay for the hotel just in case, throwing Jaebum his keys to his room as you storm off to your own, peace as you walk in. It was bliss.
The TV quietly fills the room with some form of sound, you’re comfortable sitting on the bed, on your IPad, reading something you found to waste some time. You felt at peace and had no worries until a knock on your door makes you jump out of your skin. “Y/N, it’s Jaebum!” he shouts, his voice muffled behind the door and all you could respond with was a groan, unwillingly pushing yourself to go answer the door to him as he barges past you before you could even fully open it and even ask him what he wanted. “I... well...” you stutter, as he makes himself comfortable, sitting at the end of your bed, shoving his phone in your face when you got close. It was a text from the company, apologising and informing you that the services won’t be with you until late in the night as it was the earliest they could get anyone out. “So it looks like we’re gonna be leaving here extremely early in the morning to get to the shop on time, fantastic!” you sarcastically end your sentence, throwing yourself into the armchair across from him.
There was a moment of silence before Jaebum breaks the piece, his frustration over this whole situation making him act out irrationally, “Why did they have to send me on this stupid fucking trip for a stupid little job!”. His sudden outburst makes you jump in your seat, wide-eyed at him as his face is covered by his hands, letting out a loud growl before dropping his arms, looking over at you, his face red with anger. “All because you told me to take that stupid left turn!” he points at you with an angry finger, walking closer to you as you stand your ground, standing up to him, sick of his disgusting attitude towards you. “Hold the fuck up! I only suggested a quicker route! I can’t control a car breaking down Jae!” you scream back, getting into his face. “Get out of my room now!” you add, pushing him out, but he flips around, grabbing your arms tightly, “Don’t fucking touch me you stupid bitch!”. The horror of his words showed in your face as you finally see red yourself, slapping him across the face. He cups the place where you slapped, wide-eyed at you, storming out of the room. With instant regret, you crash onto the beg, sobbing into the pillow that you hug tightly, you’re never one for violence but you couldn’t just let him speak to you like that and part of you hopes he’s learnt a lesson this way.
The sound of your sobs could be heard through the door, though muffled, it was still eligible that you were crying as Jaebum goes to walk past your room, unable to help himself when he puts his ear to the door, sighing to himself and rolling his eyes. He held a grudge, though knowing it was none of your faults for the both of you to be in this situation, his pride wouldn’t let him admit to himself that he was out of order, and in all honesty, he won’t admit it to you, you did knock him down a peg with the slap. It made him realise that he has no right to even talk to you that way. Through multiple contemplations, he knocks on the door lightly, wanting to apologise but not even sure himself how he was going to if he could get it out at all. “Go away!” you shout from the other side as he slumps against the door, “Leave me alone, once we’re done with this job trip, I’m done with you and this company!” you cry. Not understanding why, or how, this makes Jaebum feel a massive lump in his throat that he struggles to swallow. He’s messed up big time, knowing that he’s just going to have to push past his pride at some point.
For about an hour, he leans against you silently, listening to you cry and his heart sinks, even more, realising he’s made so much damage to you that he knew he couldn’t fix, though he wanted to try. He didn’t want to become friends, but he never wants to anyone to be crying because of how he treated them. During that hour, you finally thought he had given up and gone back to his room, ready to leave your safe space that was your hotel room to see if there was food being served downstairs. After throwing on a cardigan and some comfortable shoes, you go to unlock your door, opening it to see Jaebum leaning on the door frame. Your instant reaction was to wipe the tears from your eyes, stiffening your upper lip as you try to be firm with him. “I told you to leave me alone...” you state, as he shakes his head, refusing to look at you, scared that seeing your tear-stained cheeks and red eyes will cause him to feel worse than he already felt. “I told you-” you tried to speak again but he cuts you off, “I’m not leaving!” he bites, instantly apologising for his tone of voice, “Please let me in,” he begs, as you go to close the door on him but his foot stops it, “Please?” he asks again. With your emotions all over the place, this was the last thing you needed but you knew if you didn’t let him, he’d be persistent until you did.
All you could do was walk away from the door, letting him let himself in as he shuts the door gently behind him, “Look, Y/N, I-” he mumbles but you had something to get off your chest first, “No, I’m going to speak first, Jae. I’ve been trying for years since I’ve started this job to forgive you for the asshole you are, that it was just something I’d have to get used to. Yes, I hate you, I hate you with every inch in my body, but now, I want to forgive you even though you’ve treated me like a doormat, and getting in my face? Calling me a stupid bitch? You can go fuck yourself, you deserved that slap!” you cry, arms furiously wailing around, expecting him to react badly. All he did was nod, looking at the floor as he listens to you getting it all off your chest. “I agree,” he replies, sincerely looking up at you, shoving his hands into his pockets, attempting to walk closer to you, “I agree, I deserved that slap, I’m an asshole for treating you the way I have. Thank you for making me realise that”. You attempted to read his face for any hints of him being disingenuine but struggled to, his eyes were soft, tears forming in the corners. He really means it.
It takes you a moment to even process this different side to him that you’ve never seen, struggling to comprehend that he can even be capable of apologising in the first place. It felt unreal, the tightness in your chest increased as all you could do was look at him with confusion, hurt and whatever else you could possibly feel at that moment as his head is bowed again. “I’m not expecting you to accept my apology, it would be foolish of me to even think you’d even talk to me after it. But you needed to hear it, Y/N. I genuienly am sorry,” his apology really hits deep as he gently takes your hands, into his own, using one of his to wipe the tear that falls out of your eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow for work,” he adds, letting go gently before heading towards the door.
“Jae-” you call for him and within seconds, he’s turned around. You really didn’t know what you were doing, why you were even believing him and accepting his apology, maybe you were just hoping for an easier work-life, for an easier life full stop. To stop wondering what you do wrong for him to act the way he did. “It’s gonna take me a while to completely accept your apology, but thank you. Keep this nicer side up and we’ll see,” you struggle to say through tears, but his instant reaction was to run up to you, to hug you. Your whole body freezes up, really unexpecting this interaction with him but buy god did you only then realise how genuine he was being, your head is pressed to his chest, his cologne softly radiates off his body as you breathe in, the beating of his heart becomes relaxing as your hand caresses your hair and the other wraps around your shoulders. Your arms slowly snake around his torso, really indulging in the hug, realising it was much needed and for a moment, you forgot about everything that happened.
The hug was short as sweet, as his grip slowly loosens around you, letting you go, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hugged you...” he says softly, unsure where to look or what to do, his heart sinking when he catches you shaking your head, “Jae, it’s fine. I think I needed it. Thank you”. A huge sigh of relief falls from his lips as he clutches his chest, and a small smile creeps onto his face. “I’m glad,” he whispers, looking at you sweetly. There was something in the way his attitude has changed that made him extremely attractive to you, the soft smile you received, for free practically, made something in your mind feel really attracted to him.
It was awkward for a moment as you twiddle your thumbs, not sure what to do or say next, though to try and break the silence, you offer him to sit with you whilst you watch a film. You would’ve never thought of asking to spend time with him but if there’s going to progress in your relationship with him in a positive way, it would be nice to do something chill together. As you sit on the bed, you tap the space next to you, offering him to take it up which he’s more than happy to take up. Slowly and gently, he shuffles next to you, happy to just even know that you completely don’t hate him right now.
The channels flick through different shows and films, almost nothing jumping out to you to grab your attention until you give up, putting on The Simpsons to just sit and watch, surprisingly enjoying it a lot more than you thought it would. Though, after a long and eventful day, your eyelids slowly start to drop, your head wobbling as it slowly falls onto Jaebum’s shoulder. He scoffs to himself as he pulls the blanket up over you, his movement making you sit up, apologising for falling asleep. As you look back at him, his soft eyes gazing at you, as your scan his face fully, for the first time ever, taking in his beauty before your eyes stop at his lips. No one could ask you why you had the sudden urge to kiss them, but they looked so soft, a peck wouldn’t hurt, right?.
Just over 2 hours ago, you absolutely hated his guts, and now you were thinking about kissing him? You were so confused about how you felt or what you were doing with yourself, but the more you look at him, the more you want to kiss him. “You okay?” he whispers, placing a hand softly on your shoulder as you nod, biting on your bottom lip as you turn away from him, squeezing your eyes together to avoid looking at him and thinking about kissing him, but your mind has other ideas. “Fuck it,” you whisper to yourself, turning around and placing a gentle peck on his lips, pulling away quickly, blushing to flush over your cheeks as he clicks his tongue, laughing to himself. “I’m so sorry.. I-” you attempted to apologise but the gentle grip on your face makes you look at him, who wastes no time in returning the kiss. The fact that he kissed you back made you momentarily freeze before melting into it, unintentionally turning it into a slight makeout session, throwing yourself into his lap as his hands roam your body, placing both onto your ass, holding you in place.
“Someone’s. A. Little. Eager,” he giggles through the kissing, as you turn hungry, he kisses better than you thought, his taste was even better as you slowly become addicted to him, his touch, becoming needy for more than just kisses. “Fuck, what I’m I doing?!” you cry, coming up for air from the kisses, your mind racing with so many different emotions, you didn’t know what you wanted or what you were doing to yourself, but for some reason, you really didn’t want to stop. “I’m so sorry,” you apologise, covering your face in embarrassment, his breathing gets slower as he moves his hands up to your waist, his thumbs caressing your sides, “It’s okay, we can stop here”. The stupid thing was, you didn’t want to stop, as much as your mind was telling you to, you really didn’t want to, or could. You’ve had a taste of Im Jaebum, jow you’re hooked. “I don’t want to... stop.” you whisper, slowly removing your hands from in front of your face, looking deep into his eyes before his lips briefly brush against yours, testing the waters.
Holding you tightly, he flips around, laying you down on the bed, as your back slowly touches the mattress. He hovers over you, in between your legs, his thumb pulls your bottom lip down slightly, caressing it before kissing you again. His hands slide up your top, taking a handful of the breast into his hands, teasing your nipple through pinched fingers. “Fuck...” you hiss, breaking from the kiss, using your hand to turn his head so you could reach his neck, placing tight kisses followed by licks down it as he grunts lowly. “Carry on like that and I’m not going to be able to hold myself back,” he growls, nibbling at your earlobe as your eyes roll at his words, really not caring at that moment and time of anything else. You needed him. “Then don’t hold back...” you whimper, and within seconds, your trousers and underwear were on the floor, followed by his own. “Are you sure about this?” he asks, with a raised eyebrow. The sight of his length surprises you, causing your walls to tense with nothing in you, a whimper leaves your lips as you nod, practically begging as you pull at his shirt for him to get on with it.
He gets himself positioned at your entrance, leaning down to kiss you as he slowly pushes his cock into your core. Letting you adjust to his size as you bite his lip, moaning at his length slowly going in. “Awh fuck, you’re so tight!” he groans, slowly picking up his pace as your walls tense around him, your hot and wet core making his cock harder than he thought it could ever get. As you wrap your legs around his torso, his hips do magic, effortlessly slapping against your ass and top of your thighs, as the kisses become sloppy and wet, your tongues clashing. He couldn’t just deal with that, he needed to see all of you as he slips your shirt over your head, exposing your whole body to him. He nips at the skin across your shoulder, leaving dark bruises that he licks over, making you cry for more as his pace picks up, his moans vibrating on his skin, as he makes his way down to your nipples, taking them into your mouth, his tongue teasing them as the pit in your stomach starts to burn.
You grab a fistful of his long locks, pulling his head back up to your face to kiss him, a hiss leaving your lips as he pulls away from your nipples, which he had a gentle bite on. Whilst your kisses and his hips slamming into you made you both sweat, the smell and sounds of sex fills the entire room as your volume increased, the pit burning completely. The way your walls contract around him indicates you’re close, pulling your legs up to your chest as he pounds hard into you, “That’s it, cum for me, doll!” he orders, rolling his hips into you, his tip presses hard against the spot. Within seconds, your body shakes as you paint his cock white, “Fuck, Jaebum!!” you scream, nails digging into his back as you drag them up his spine.
When you thought you were done, able to get a breather, Jaebum temporarily pulls out, flips you so your face was in the pillows, and your ass was in the air. A hard strike of his hand creates a hand print on your ass, as he merciless pounds back into you. His hands grab tightly onto your ass cheeks before gliding down to your hips, holding onto them tight, as if to hold you still whilst he slams hard into you. This makes you scream into the pillow as he grunts hard, a hand holding your head down into the pillow as he slowly feels himself getting the urge to cum. “Fuck, you feel so good... I’m gonna...” he grunts, slowly turning into loud groans and moans as you tense around him, coming to your second high, though he doesn’t slow down to let you ride through it gently, he keeps his pace, overstimulating you as he pounds hard. Just after you finish cumming all over his cock again, he pulls out, jerking off his cock, whilst holding an ass cheek again, beads of his cum dripping onto your ass cheeks. “Fuck... Fuck!!” he growls, coming to a stop as he kneels back on his heels. Catching his breath as you come up from the pillow for air yourself.
After coming to your senses, and the stars in your eyes have gone, he rushes to the bathroom to grab tissues, ready to help clean you up. “Well that was... something,” he laughs, helping you up as he passes you your clothes, before taking them back, assisting you in getting dressed. You scoff at his comment, rolling your eyes before smirking at him, “I guess I don’t hate you as much now,” you reply, as he pretends to be offended by your comment, knowing full well that there’s still some work to do to build your trust up but this was a great start. “We really should talk about th-” you try to add but the sound of Jaebum’s phone ringing interrupts, he puts his hand up as if to apologise, answering, coughing to act like everything’s normal. “Hello... Okay, yeah sounds good. Yeah, we’ll pack up and get ready to leave soon... Bye.”. After putting the phone down, you could only guess that it was the head office, letting you know that the repair service is on its way and you should be able to get back on the road. “I guess we’ll have to save that conversation for when we get back from this trip, I guess.” you add. He nods, kissing your forehead, pulling away, and getting ready to leave. “But I can’t leave this room without knowing what this means for us,” he speaks up, looking up at you with slight concern. “It means something good, I’m not sure what I want yet but maybe I was a little harsh, and maybe if we continue to be like this, something definitely can come out of this,” you reply, taking his hand, pulling him back towards you so you could place a kiss on his lips, which he happily returned.
🔮 synopsis. The boys in the chat are quick to make fun of Jaebeom’s ‘furry con attendee’ status, so he makes them eat their words.
cw/ tw.cam sex, Jokes about Jaebeom being a furry, legitimate use of collars, cat ears, and a small buttplug with a cat tail, oral (m/f receiving), fingering, anal (with small buttplug), vibrator use, face fucking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, honestly… the chat made fun of Jaebeom for being a ‘furry’ and he is not happy about it, etc...
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.7k
🍭 aus. cam girl reader, poly idols, idols sharing a fuck buddy, dirty boy idols, etc...
☀️ mlist + an. cam room directory here - this fic is covered in audio by the Kpop Pillow Talk Podcast, listen here
TeamWang: Where are the cat ears?
PubGMarkT: fffffff
TeamWang: we all know he has some
Jaebeom is happily oblivious to the men already roasting him in the chat room. He watches you with a lazy smile as you set the camera up, the two of you talking casually about your day and the weather.
HeyChannie: y r they talking about the weather???????
HeyChannie: READ MY COMMENTS!!! > : (
HeyChannie has donated $69
Lucas99 has donated $69
Hendery99 has donated $69
PubGMarkT: Johnny come take care of ur kids
NiceGuyJohnny: they’re not mine, i swear
NiceGuyJohnny: or they’d know how to DONATE PROPERLY
NiceGuyJohnny has donated $420
You’re getting used to the bickering on the chat, and you always enjoy going back and seeing the interactions. Whoever said Superm was the new avengers group of kpop has not seen your roster of regulars for your cam show.
You’ve decided that for today, you’ll have a computer open so you can see the chat, but do the filming from your phone, which will make things easier.
Once your phone is placed well on Jaebeom’s desk, you turn to him, hands settling on his shoulders as you straddle him, earning yourself a soft smile.
“You look cute,” he tells you, hands smoothing up and down your waist.
“No, you,” you insist. “I like this hair on you.” You play with a piece between two fingers and inspect it. Grunge Eboy Jaebeom is a sight to see, especially with the nose piercing. You miss the bar that used to leave two delicate studs on his cheekbone. “The boys want to know where your cat ears are,” you tell him, voice lowering as your lips move to his neck.
A tingle runs through Jaebeom’s body, you’ve always had this affect on him, it’s so easy for you to get him riled up. Your lips on his neck, the mention of cat ears, remembering that his friends are watching-
“They want cat ears?” Jaebeom asks, perking up beneath you.
You laugh. “Yeah.”
“Should I bring out your box, kitten?” Jaebeom’s soft hands turn hard, one reaching up to wrap around your neck, forcing you to look into his dark eyes.
You simply nod, Jaebeom has a few 'taboo’ kinks that the two of you have explored before.
The whole ‘Kitten’ thing started as a joke, but when you first started fucking, you realized pretty quickly that Jaebeom really enjoys collars, cat ears, and - when he’s feeling extra wound up - he enjoys it when you wear a little butt plug he got you with a removable faux cat tail, pink, to match your cat ears. Jaebeom prefers less talking when you’re dressed up for him, prefers moaning to words.
His eyes shift past you to the computer, he can see the chat going insane. If they want to make fun of him for being a ‘furry con attendee’ then he’ll give them a show, he’ll make them want to attend furry con too.
Jaebeom easily tosses you off of him and onto the bed, standing and disappearing from the camera to go grab his ‘kitten’ box from where it’s well hidden in his closet.
You take the time to look at the chat, eyes scanning comments.
“Did someone make a Furry group chat?” you laugh, noticing the fact that, as far as you can tell, your ‘designated furry’ idol’s have popped up.
KittyTae is probably Taeyong from NCT, and TrueCatLordHo feels like Minho from Stray Kids, but you can’t be sure.
“Furry group chat?” Jaebeom laughs from the closet, rifling around the box to choose what he’s interested in.
TheJinyoung: The day there’s a furry idol gc is the day I lose hope in humanity.
TeamWang: you still have hope?!!?!?!?!?!
Lucas99: fffftttttttt
Hendery99: !!!!!!!!!
HeyChannie: Taeyong has a furry gc 👀 👀 👀
You’re giggling at the interactions when Jaebeom comes back, arms wrapping around your waist to once more throw you onto the bed. You laugh, sitting up slightly on your elbows to inspect the toys he’s brought back with him.
“Clothes off before you get to see,” Jaebeom tells you, hiding the goodies behind his back.
You huff and sit up fully, tearing your hoodie off to show your naked torso beneath - you’d stopped wearing bras to Jaebeom hook ups on date number two - then you stand, turning your back to Jaebeom and the camera.
You sway your hips slightly, trying to put on a show as you bend over to remove your sweats and panties, teasing the men who are watching you before you get back on the bed, seated on your knees with your hands on your thighs.
“Good girl,” Jaebeom praises you, approaching the mattress slowly. He comes to kneel behind you, and you wait patiently as he secures a pink fuzzy collar around your neck.
Your heart is racing in your chest, and although you can see the comment section in the cam room going wild, you can’t read what they’re saying.
You and Jaebeom have done kinky things, but something in his aura today tells you that it’s going to be... different.
Next, Jaebeom puts the cat ear headband into place, fingers threading through your hair.
“Do you want a tail today princess?” he asks, always giving you the option to refuse anal.
You understand why there is an odd stigma around anal, it had been odd when you’d first tried it. But Jaebeom made sure to get you small butt plugs, ones that you can handle. You nod, licking your lips as you watch Jaebeom move around.
He really does allow you to be as much of a pillow princess as you want to be, taking care of you 100%, and you know anything he wants, he will ask for.
This makes life easy with Jaebeom.
He pulls the butt plug out from where he’d been hiding it in his left hand. It’s cute, probably both of your favourite plug, and you can feel yourself getting wet just looking at it.
“Gonna prep you,” Jaebeom tells you, running a hand through his hair as he sets the plug down on the foot of the bed, “and then I’ll get your phone and take a good video putting it in, okay?”
“And then?” you ask, wondering what else he has planned. He always has something planned.
“And then, if you’re good, we can have fun.” That’s the only explanation he gives you for the events to come.
He’s now seated on the floor at the foot of the bed, and one yank of your calf drags you towards him.
Jaebeom is another idol who’s great at eating girls out. He goes all in, not afraid to be as vulgar and sloppy as possible to get you to cum, which you always do.
He turns a little, giving the phone camera view of your pussy.
“So wet already,” he says, his thumb coming up to gently rub your clit. He licks his lips and you grab onto the bed in preparation of his tongue. Fuck, his tongue is amazing.
He likes to tease you, to work you up with little kitten licks that have you mewling.
One of your hands grabs at his hair, eagerly pulling him closer to your core. You want to feel his tongue inside of you, it’s never big enough, but there’s something different about the feeling that makes your toes curl.
His thumb works your clit in gentle, slow circles as his tongue finally laps deeply at your folds. Small sounds are leaving your lips and you’ve noticed that as soon as your collar is on, it brings out this primal side of you.
Jaebeom loves little whimpers, and every sound you make just pushes him to go harder. You can hear his tongue working you, and it just makes you wetter, the chord in your tummy coiling tightly as you get closer and closer to your orgasm.
Jaebeom doesn’t even tell you to cum, doesn’t lift his face or say a word, simply pushes you over the edge and then ravages you the entire time your pussy throbs around nothing, body surging with each wave of euphoria he gives you.
When he pulls away from you, you’re a mess, trying to catch your breath. Jaebeom continues to play with you, two fingers slipping into your still sensitive core, only to be pulled out too soon. He rubs your slick around your entrance, and you can feel yourself dripping down...
Jaebeom tosses the butt plug at you and the soft faux fur tail delights your sensitive nipples. “Suck it,” he tells you.
The first time this happened, you’d been a little taken aback, but you know that Jaebeom cleans the shit out of any toy you two ever use.
The butt plug is probably cleaner than the last piece of food you ate, so you quickly plop the cold, glass, plug into your mouth, getting it slick with spit.
Jaebeom moves to his desk, picking up your phone and bringing it to where you’re laying at the foot of his bed, sucking on the butt plug with its pretty pink tail wrapped around your wrist.
He makes sure the camera gets a full view of you, eyes glued to your phone. He swallows thickly. “Turn around kitten.”
You hand him the plug then get onto all fours. Jaebeom momentarily has a conniption over which hand to do what with. He decides to hold the camera with his right hand to get better shots.
You’re still wet from the orgasm he just gave you, and the plug is suitably covered in spit now.
He watches, mesmerized, as he presses the small glass plug to your ass. He has this weird kind of obsession with watching the plug go in, and he holds his breath, toying with you, pressing just a bit in before pulling it away.
You mewl pathetically, arching your back more, pushing your ass towards Jaebeom as if to tell him to go faster.
He finally gives in, pushing the toy in slowly and watching as your hole swallows it up. You let out a little sound when it’s fully in, shoulders relaxing.
Jaebeom can see a new wave of arousal, and he smirks. “Fuck, princess, you’re dripping.” He grabs the tail, giving it a little tug that moves the glass plug around inside of you, making you moan, then his thumb rubs your clit again, making you jolt. “What’s got you all worked up, kitten?”
“You,” you moan loudly when he presses harder on your clit.
“Good girls get rewards,” Jaebeom says. “I put a present for you on the floor, go look, kitten.”
He follows you with the camera as you sit up, looking at him with confusion.
There’s a magic wand vibrator sitting on a pillow on the floor and you know immediately what he wants.
Jaebeom loves getting head while forcing you to rub against the large wand vibrator. And with your butt plug in? You nearly moan at just the thought of the sensation to come.
You quickly kneel on the floor, the pillow giving your knees a break as you hold yourself over the vibrator. Then you look up at Jaebeom, waiting for instruction.
“Put it on setting one, baby,” Jaebeom encourages you, watching as you follow his words. The vibrator buzzes to life. “now sit down.”
Your clit dances to life as you lower yourself onto the vibrator, adjusting so it feels just right.
You look up at Jaebeom again and he loves how pretty you are, how submissive and ready to do anything for him. Your sexual relationship really is quite different from your connection to any other idol, and it feels odd to be showing it off for them all.
“You know what to do,” Jaebeom coaxes you.
Your hands immediately go to his sweatpants, but then you look at his hoodie and decide to tug on that first, looking up at Jaebeom with big eyes.
He laughs. “baby wants my shirt off first?”
You nod.
He quickly takes off his shirt, then puts the camera back on your face, watching as you move to his sweatpants, pulling them down.
Jaebeom’s cock slaps up against his tummy and you lick your lips in preparation.
“Suck it,” he says, knowing he doesn’t need to, but he enjoys the little commands.
You wrap your lips around the head of his cock, holding the base with your hand firmly as you begin to suck on him, paying close attention to the tip, which you know drives him wild.
Jaebeom groans, making sure the camera is getting a good view. He’s mesmerized by your phone. Sex has always been great, but seeing it like this is doing something else to him, and he’s not sure what, only that it’s good.
“Fuck, kitten-” His free hand reaches out to pet the cat ears you’re wearing, then he roughly grabs your hair, pulling you off of his cock. “Turn the vibrator up.”
You hesitate for a moment, which makes Jaebeom grab your face roughly, squeezing your cheeks. You immediately break under his stern gaze and he can see it in your eyes, releasing you so you can look down and adjust the vibrator.
It gets louder with the higher setting.
When you look up at Jaebeom again, he’s holding his cock. “Open,” you stick out your tongue for him and Jaebeom taps it, “so fucking messy,” he groans, watching your tongue and the saliva strings that keep his dick still connected to your mouth even after he’s pulled away.
When he lets go of his cock, you resume your previous ministrations.
Jaebeom strokes your head as you blow him, his lip bitten between his teeth to stop himself from moaning too much.
“How’s the toy feel, baby?” he asks.
The vibrator between your legs is sending pleasure waves through your body, pussy clenching around nothing. You can feel your arousal now coating the head of the toy, and it makes it easier to slide on it, working your clit even harder. You’re a bit of a masochist that way.
The butt plug is still situated happily inside of you, and you feel delightfully full even though you are missing Jaebeom’s cock, which you continue to suck on like it’s your favourite lollipop.
Jaebeom isn’t satisfied with your moans though, and he pulls you off of his cock again. “Highest setting, baby, make yourself cum twice and then I’ll give you my cock.”
You swallow thickly before following his command. The vibrator buzzes aggressively under you and you slowly sink down, almost pulling away at how good it feels.
“Gonna cum fast, kitten?” Jaebeom smirks, tapping his dick against your cheek to draw your attention back up to him and the camera.
You nod, once again wrapping your lips around Jaebeom’s cock, but this time with a new eagerness.
Your hips move, rubbing your clit against the vibrator that sounds like a hive of a billion bees.
The vibrations become too much and you cum hard, body spasming, which draws attention to the butt plug. You feel so nice and full, but also empty, it’s an odd feeling.
You can’t even suck off Jaebeom, instead opting to simply jerk him off while you moan against his cock, lips still attached to his head, eyes closed as wave after wave of pleasure hits you.
Jaebeom is in love with the sight, and he nearly cums just from watching you eagerly lap at his dick while you work through your orgasm, like an absolute champ.
“Another one,” Jaebeom says when you lift your hips from the vibrator, having become to sensitive. He doesn’t wait for you to try to fight him, simply puts his hand on your shoulder and forces you back down,
The squeal that leaves your lips is loud, a gasp next, and then a louder moan. You grab at Jaebeom’s hand that holds you down, forcing your abused clit harder on the wand that vibrates through your entire body.
Incoherent noises leave your lips as he uses your already sensitive state to make you cum again, the orgasm tearing through your body like nothing before in your life.
You feel wetness between your legs but your eyes are closed, your hands holding onto Jaebeom’s forearm as he keeps you on the source of your pleasure.
The moment he sees tears in your eyes, sees that you’ve reached your maximum pleasure point, Jaebeom lets up.
You collapse onto your back on his floor and Jaebeom inspects the wand and the pillow, a curse leaving his lips when he sees all the liquid left behind.
“Fuck kitten, you squirted,” he tells you, looking at your exhausted body on his floor, “must have felt really good... do you still want to fuck?”
You giggle and Jaebeom breaks into a smile. He cares about you enough to ask if you’re still up for sex, which is nice.
You open your eyes and nod, sitting up and practically crawling onto the bed.
Jaebeom and the camera watch you.
You fall onto your back, legs opening as you invite Jaebeom towards you with open arms.
He grins, shaking his head, “On all fours, kitten.”
Of course he wants a good view of the butt plug. You’ve been tempted for a while to start referring to Doggy style as Kitten style when you’re with Jaebeom, but you think that might be a step too far.
Your legs are wobbly when you get onto all fours, but Jaebeom praises you for it, his hand smoothing up and down your back. You know he’s getting a great view of the butt plug, and you press your ass back towards him.
“How are you feeling, kitten?” he asks, grabbing at your tail and pulling it slightly to move the glass ball inside of you, dragging it along your sensitive walls.
You moan. “Need you.”
The head of his cock rubs your entrance, coating itself in your slick, and then he positions it right at your opening. You sink back onto him, making you both let out shaky breaths.
“So fucking tight,” he says.
He hasn’t been inside of your pussy in a while, both of you have been pretty busy, and he’s missed it.
He loves the foreplay. Loves making you cum, even squirt, on a vibrator while you blow him and have a butt plug in, but nothing beats this.
He gives you a few test thrusts, biting his lip at how amazing it feels. He likes the way you grab at the bed, anchoring yourself and taking everything he gives you.
He once more grabs at your plug, moving it in small little circles as he slowly fucks you, careful to make sure the camera is catching all of it.
“Fuck, you look so good,” Jaebeom tells you.
The sound of coins that’s been dinging this whole time from the laptop proves he’s not a liar.
“Do you like having a plug in your ass while you get fucked?”
“Mmm,” you moan, “yeah.”
Your eyes are closed, head turned to the side so Jaebeom can see the fucked out expression on your face. You’re definitely worn out and tired, he doubts he’ll get more than one word answers from you on any question he asks.
“So tight when you’re stuffed like this,” he groans, his speed picking up. He watches your body react, the way you grab the sheets tighter, your moans getting higher in pitch. “Wanna make you cum again.”
“Please,” you whimper, pressing back against him as he continues to fuck you, pulling on your butt plug to watch it move inside of you. The mixed stimulants are driving you wild, and your clit is still decommissioned after the absolutely brutal time it just had on the wand.
Jaebeom’s free hand reaches out and he grabs your hair, forcing your back to arch as he fucks you harder, small pants leaving his lips that tell you he’s close.
“Fuck,” he groans, not sure where to even look, there are so many pretty things to focus on. “What a dirty girl you are, making everyone watch this,” he growls, “this ass is mine.”
He lets go of your hair to pull at your tail and, for whatever reason, it’s enough to make you cum.
Your pussy clamps down on him, throbbing as you cum, cries leaving your lips as you burry your face in the pillows.
Your orgasm pushes the butt plug out of you, and Jaebeom cums from the sight, his sexy low groan washing over your body and making you tingle. Jaebeom always sounds so fucking hot when he cums.
Jaebeom stills finally, taking a deep breath. “How do I turn this fucking stream off?”
He doesn’t mind filming it when you fuck, but the time you spend together after is just for the two of you.
You hold your hand out, still face planted in his bed, and Jaebeom laughs, handing you the phone.
You look at your screen, finger now over the camera, but you can see the chat.
NiceGuyJohnny: 😮
KittyTae has donated $500
TeamWang: 😮
Bangme: Holy shit
You laugh, for a moment trying to figure out who Bangme could be, then you realize it’s Bang Chan from Stray Kids... Got7′s junior group. He’s quite eloquent with his words, you’ve always thought so.
It looks like this recording, so far, has had the most messages in the chat room, and when your eyes go down to look at donations, you nearly fall off the bed.
“Say goodnight,” Jaebeom reminds you, crashing onto the bed next to you and pulling you to his chest, eyes already closed.
You quickly say a goodbye to the few men left in the chat room, a bunch dipped as soon as it was over and you can only assume what they’re all doing at this moment.
When your phone is away, you turn to look at Jaebeom. He strokes your face, fingers coming to touch the collar still on your neck.
He takes it off gently, putting it on his bedside table.
You like the quiet with Jaebeom, every second needn't be filled by words.
“i feel sticky,” you tell him.
Jaebeom laughs. “Want to shower?”
“Later,” you answer, curling closer to his warm chest, “now, we sleep.”
You sat there with your laptop on your lap, and your legs stretched on the couch. With frustration, you closed my laptop, placing it on the coffee table before covering your face with your hands.
“Hey, you okay?” You heard your boyfriend’s voice, asking you.
You removed your hands to see him all showered before he could lift your legs up so he could sit on the couch beside you and plopped them on his lap.
“Just tired… I don’t get how my boss work sometimes, he gave me all these numbers and documents that I know nothing about, and he told me the deadline is in two days.” You complained.
Jaebum chuckled before he could run his hands on your legs, giving them light massages.
“Do you want to go out and get some food first?” Jaebum offered. You looked at the clock that was sitting beside the TV and it was showing 5.47 PM in the afternoon.
“Yeah, we should probably get something to eat since I’m not in the mood to cook myself.” You grumbled getting up from the couch to go over to Jaebum’s bedroom. You just grab his jacket that was hooked on the chair before you went back out to see Jaebum with carkeys in his hands.
“Let’s go.”
Once you both got into the car, Jaebum asked you what you wanted to eat but you were not sure and you let him choose.
“Come on, we’re not going to have a debate on what we’re eating for dinner. I’m letting you choose because, you’re having a bad day today.” He said, placing his warm hand on your thigh.
You let out a breath shaking your head. “I don’t know what I want to eat, I can think—” Your words were cut by the sound of your phone ringing. As you picked your phone, you turn to Jaebum, putting your finger in front of your lips, telling him to keep quiet and Jaebum did shut his lips, focusing on the road.
“Yes, Mr. Lee ?”
“(Y/N), I’m sending you documents and files that is due tomorrow, I hope you’re not too busy.” Your boss suddenly said, making you raised your eyebrow.
“I’m sorry sir, but I have a lot on my plate today, you just sent me numbers and documents last night, that I don’t know about, and I haven’t even finished on that yet, that one still have a long way to go.” You explained to him.
“No, no, no, I need you to work on those right now too! I’m sure you can handle all of them.” He said, with a laugh.
“I can’t! Can I just pass it on to Carter?” You asked, feeling the tears burning in your eyes.
“No! I want you to work on it! You can handle data like this better than anyone else, so I’m expecting all of them clear by tomorrow noon.” He demands.
You leaned back on your seat trying to negotiate with your boss.
“Can I have them all done by 2 days? Please, that’s all I’m asking.” You pleaded.
You could hear him exhaling, unhappy about what you asked for, but he finally gave in.
“Fine, I’ll be expecting ALL OF THEM—done by Thursday.” He said.
“Great… thanks.” You quickly hung up the phone, dropping it between your legs before covering your face with your hands.
“Everything okay?” Jaebum asked you.
“I’m sorry Jae, can we just grab something fast and eat back at your place? My boss just gave me another thing that I need to work on.” You moaned, trying your best not to cry.
“It’s okay, I understand, let’s just get something from the grocery and some other stuff you need—and I’ll cook… sounds like a plan?” He asked you.
You looked to him giving him a weak smile before kissing his cheek and rest your head on his shoulder.
“Sounds like plan to me.” You breathed.
You and Jaebum practically bought a lot of food. Ramen packs, meats, sauces, rice, and even some little snacks and other necessary things that you needed. Bottle drinks, canned drink—you both are stocking the fridge and the cabinets in his place.
When you got back, Jaebum told you to just get to your work and he’ll handle the rest. You insisted on helping him but he didn’t let you. You finally gave up and walked towards the bedroom where some of the papers were placed. You brought it to the coffee table sitting on the floor before you could open your laptop and continue on your work.
Jaebum put away all the stuff that you both bought into their places. Since he knows you’re already hungry, in advance, he made you a cup ramen. Bringing it over to you with a glss of iced water.
“Thank you baby.” You thanked Jaebum, holding onto his arm before he could lean down to kiss your forehead.
“Don’t work too hard on yourself.” He said, before walking back to the kitchen.
The more you looked at the numbers at the screen the crazier you feel. You looked up to the clock on your laptop screen and you feel like that’s the ticking time bomb of your life.
“(Y/N)…” You heard Jaebum’s voice calling you.
“Yeah?” You turn to him, who was moving plates of food onto the table.
“Come on, dinner’s ready.” He said before he could walk towards you.
“I’m in the middle of something, can you wait for 5 minutes?” You asked him.
Jaebum let out a sigh before he could sit right behind you on the couch, placing his lips on your shoulder.
“Jae…”
“What?” He asked, his voice sounded gruff.
“Stop.” You told him.
“I’m not doing anything, I’m just kissing your shoulder.” He said, before he could trail his lips towards your neck.
You took a deep breath, feeling his warm lips slowly exploring your neck.
“If agree on dinner now, will you stop?” You sighed, your hand holding onto the side of his head.
“Yes…” He answered, looking up to your eyes.
“Fine, let’s eat then.” You said, giving in, before you could give him a peck on the lips and closed your laptop.
Both of you walked towards the table and your ere surprised on how much he cooked.
“They look so good!” You complimented, taking a seat on the chair.
Jaebum opened the fridge taking out a can of coke. “Do you want one?” He asked.
You nodded your head. “Yes please.” You answered him.
Jaebum watched you as you gobbled your meal, and that he was actually sad to see stressed like this. He didn’t like that your boss had to make you work on yoru day off all of the sudden and giving you much, more, extra work again just a few moments ago.
“Jae, you okay?” You asked, taking a drink of your coke.
“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m just a bit irritated that your boss is giving you so much work.” He confessed, before taking a spoonful of rice.
“I know… I hate it as much as you do, but I’ll try my best to be done by 9 okay?” you told him
“Okay.” He smiled warmly extending his hand on the table and you took it. He brought it up to his lips to give it a gentle kiss before you both could enjoy your meal together.
Jaebum cleaned all the dishes while he told you to get back to your work, so you could finish early. You sat back down on the floor in front of the coffee table while Jaebum continued to his office to get into a meeting with his crew. Jaebum finished up his meeting at 9.30 PM as he walked out the room, he saw you still focusing on your laptop, typing something down.
He let out a sigh before he walk closer to you and sat beside you.
“Are you done?” He asked you.
“No… not yet…” You sighed. “If you want to go to bed, it’s fine, you can go ahead.” You told him.
“No, I’m not sleeping without you.” He pointed, wrapping his arms around your stomach. “Just take a break, leave it for tomorrow.” He whispered on your shoulder.
“I wish I can, but I don’t know…” You whined, turning to him.
“Fine, let’s just take a break then, for a while… you can do that right?” He asked and he watched you looking blankly at your laptop screen before you could nod your head.
“You right, a 10 minute break won’t be so bad right?” You said, closing your laptop before the both of you could move up to the couch.
You lay your head on his chest as he held you tight in his arms.
“This feels nice…” You said, closing your eyes as you wrap your arms around him.
“Yeah, you’ve been on that laptop for a whole day, you deserve a break.” Jaebum told you, and you nodded in agreement.
“I know what else that can make you feel better.” Jaebum said, a hint of confidence was in his voice.
“What?” You let out a light giggle, as you shift your position so that you can face him.
He then slowly leaned his face closer to you, pressing his lips against yours. His kiss was gentle, but deep. You could feel his hand on the side of your hips, tugging your closer before you could move your position so you were straddling on his lap.
You parted your lips from his lips, catching your breath.
“Screw my deadlines, I want you for now.” You told him, connecting your lips back with his. Jaebum smiled and he wasted no time changing his position. He placed his hands on your ass before he could stand up, carrying you in his hands.
“Do you want to move to bed, or should we stay here?” He asked, moving his lips to the corner of your lips then working his way down to your jawline. Your hands traveled up onto his head, getting a grip of him, as you felt his teeth biting your shoulder.
“Bedroom—I don’t want to love you with my work being its witness.” You grumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face on his shoulder.
He then proceeds to walk towards the bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind him before he could place you slowly on the bed, He hovers on top of you while his lips didn’t part from yours. He lifedt the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing before you could part your lips from his and raise your body slightly so it was easier for him to strip it off of you. You then pushed him lightly, sitting up on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head before he could continue to crash his lips on yours. You let out pleasure moans as he sucked the sweet skin of your neck. His hand moved down between your legs, slipping under the fabric of your shorts and underwear.
You felt your whole body just became alive as warmth spread throughout your veins.
“Spread your legs for me baby.” He whispered into your ear, biting your ear lightly.
You did what he told you, and once you felt his finger inside you, you let out a whimper, digging your nails onto Jaebum’s back. You felt his finger moving slowly against you. Jaebum then slowly moved his hands away and pulled your pants down before he could pulled his down on his own.
He connected his lips back onto you but you pulled your lips away, gasping for air. You felt the tip of it against you, before he slowly pushed himself inside you.
“Jae…”
“Hold still baby…” He whispered . You nodded your head as you closed your eyes, feeling him inside you.
At first he moved slowly against you, you then pulled him close to you, moaning. You hid your face on his shoulder before your could feel Jaebum’s movement getting faster against you.
“Jaebum, don’t stop, please don’t stop.” You moaned against his ear, only to make him move faster. Once he finished, he lets it out outside before he could collapsed on the bed next to you. You try to catch your breath as he tried to catch his. You turn to look at him before you could move yourself to snuggle into him.
Jaebum let you rest your head onto his chest as he wraps his arms around you. He kissed the top of your head before he could let out a long breath.
“Well that was a hell of a 10 minute break.” Jaebum commented and you giggled on his chest before you could move yourself so that you were facing him.
“You didn’t even let me breathe!” You told him and he chuckled.
“But it was a good break right?” He asked, tucking strands of hair behind your ear.
“Better than I expected… just wasn’t a break at all.” You rolled your eyes. You looked over to the door, before you could push your hair back with your hand.
“What?” You want to go back to work?” Jaebum asked, there was a hint of disappointment in his voice.
You shook your head, giving him a sheepish smile. “Nope, I can’t think straight anymore, all I want is to be in this bed with you right now.” You told him, with a low voice, leaning down to kiss him.
“Well in that case…” Jaebum suddenly grabbed your hands with his before he could shift his body from the bed, spinning so that he was hovering on top of you as you giggled.
“Are you up for round 2?”
JAEBUM IMAGINE HAS DEBUTED! Hope you guys liked it! Who do you think i should write about next?
“It got turned down again.” Jaebum said, entering your place with no hi’s or hello’s. “That man is impossible to please.” He added, dropping his bag on the table and looking at you with his hands on his hips. You smiled at him sympathetically, it was ridiculous at this point the standards his boss was using against him. You could feel his frustration.
“Come here.” You said with your arms extended and waiting for him to dive into you. Jaebum smiled before wrapping his arms around you and joing you on the couch. “It sucks that he turned it down again, but I just know you’re going to work even harder and make something absolutely amazing.” You pet his hair, comforting him in the best way you could. “You’re right.” He looked at you with smile as you continued to pat his head. Jabeum just watched you as you encouraged him, stroking his hair and face while mumbling sweet words.
He loved that no matter how down, or angry he was, one look at your face and he knew everything would be okay.
Mark:
Meeting his family was a task, it took to being in a certain level of a relationship to get that far with him. Well, you were there and it seemed he was more nervous than you were. But the nerves went away seeing how calm you were, talking to his mom and making his dad laugh.
It was a rare thing to see his whole family on one page about a person, but they were. They were on one page about you. “Y/N’s really great.” His mom smiled, patting his back as he helped with dishes. You were enjoying coffee and a conversation with his dad and Mark could hear your laughter. “I know, I knew bringing Y/N here was the right decision.” He said and put the last plate away. With a sigh and a smile, he looked at him mom and she pat his back.
Hearing your laughter, seeing the way you and his family got along made him realise just how special you are.
Jinyoung:
“You have two really good options. I don’t know how I can help you pick.” You said, moving your hands over his shoulders and down his chest. Jinyoung sighed at the feeling, grabbing your hands and pulling you against his back tighter. “This drama is like something I’ve done before and love and this one is a whole new type of character.” He explained and gestured towards the 2 scripts in front of him.
A few hours later you were sat in front of him, reading lines off of the script dramatically. “But.... I love you.” You read dramatically and he had to choke back a laugh. “Jinyoung! Don’t laugh! You asked for my help.” You laughed and he smiled. “Yeah I did, and I think I made my choice with the drama’s. I’m chosing the other one, if I have to act this scene with anyone else than you I won’t be able to stop laughing.” He chuckled, pulling the script out of your hands. “Well, nice to see I was helpfull.” You smiled, leaning forward to kiss him.
Jinyoung loved that you could make him laugh in any situation, even with tough decisions.
Jackson:
You watched as seemingly random things were thrown into the blender with a disapproving stare. “I thought you don’t have schedule until later today?” You asked, knowing Jackson fixed this smoothie as a quick meal. “Yeah, that’s right. Why?” He asked, looking at you with big eyes. “That means, you have time for a real breakfast.” You said and moved to remove the food items from the blender. “But this is quick and easy.” He explained and you shook your head, cutting him off.
“It might be quick and easy, but it’s important that you take the time that you can spare to properly take care of yourself. Sometimes that means eating breakfast and not drinking it. Now sit down, I’ll make breakfast.” You poked his chest and turned to pull out some pans. Jackson stood frozen, in surprise and not really knowing what to do because he knew you were right.
He loved how you made sure he took care of himself, physically and mentally. That means a lot to him.
Youngjae:
Nice weather, not to hot, not to cold, but just right and absolutely perfect for taking a long walk with Coco. You ended up sitting in the park, the small dog in your lap with Youngjae’s arm around you. It was absolutely perfect, it was one of those small cherishable moments made even better with Youngjae’s laugh.
“I see an ice cream vendor... I’m gonna get us some.” You said, standing up and handing him Coco. With that you disappeared, only to reappear shortly after with 2 cones completely filled. “Eyyy, what flavor did you get?” Youngjae called as you approached. “The strawberry looked really nice and I-” You paused, watching the ice cream fall out of the cone. He started laughing as you handed him his ice cream and walked back to the vendor for a new one with a head hung in shame.
He loved having calm days with you and he loved that you could smile so easily, your happy energy was just unmatched to him.
Bambam:
He wasn’t anticipating you being over at his place when he got home, he also wasn’t expecting the smell of a super familiar meal either. “Baby, what are you doing here?” He asked, seeing you in his kitchen. “Just felt like surprising you.” You said and stirred the pot filled with soup.
“It smells like Tom Yam Kung in here.” Bambam remarked, moving to stand by as you stirred. “Wow, you’re right on the money.” You commented and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “You’ve been missing home lately so I called your mom and she walked me through making it. I hope it tastes right.” You remarked, lifting the spoon for him to try. He looked at you with wide eyes before going to taste it and he hummed. “I wasn’t expecting coming home to this, but I’m so glad.”
It meant the absolute world to him that you took the time to do sweet things like this, to make him feel better.
Yugyeom:
Maybe it was the way you were goofily dancing, maybe it was the way his hoodie swallowed you up or maybe it was the way you were still up with him in the practice room at 3 a.m. He laughed as you watched yourself in the mirror, agressively swinging the sleeves of his hoodie around.
Yugyeom walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around you to stop you movements and he put his chin on top of your head. “Aren’t you tired yet?” He laughed and you joined in. “I am so tired, you have no idea. But you’re still practicing so I’m keeping myself preoccupied so I don’t fall asleep.” You explained, being still for the first time in a few minutes and allowing a yawn to slip through. “I’m here to support your practice! I can’t do that while I’m asleep.” You added, looking at him through the mirror.
Yugyeom loved that you were so supportive of his passion, that you were willing to sacrifice your sleep schedule for his even if he wished you didn’t. It meant a lot to him.
A/N: My GOT7 mood was triggered by their comeback news and I haven’t been here in a long time. I love it here.
Remember how it was noted that Jaebum almost lost Yuna? Well this was one of the two times. The first was when she wouldn't even give him a chance to date her. This includes some angst, but not enough to have a trigger (: just a good old punch in the face (don't really punch your friend in the face--unless they deserve it) (:
xoxo
Mark
Christmas was Marcie’s and Mark’s favorite time of year. Not only was it near their anniversary since they began to date, but it was a time they both got to see their families for a big reunion. Christmas in LA was always fun for them as their families would spend the day together as a happy family for the past four years. However, this year, the families spent Christmas in snowy Colorado at Marcie’s and Mark’s vacation home. To Mark and Marcie, family was important which was why they were so important with their next step.
Mark had planned proposing to Marcie for the past six months with the help of their parents. Marcie was on an expedition in the United Kingdom and was due to conclude it a week before Christmas. The distance was what made Mark more sure of proposing. Being away from Marcie was normal in their relationship due to their jobs, but he hated being home alone. Mark also feared that one day, Marcie may realize how much better she was without him and leave him.
Marcie was getting out of the airport with her cart of luggage from her several month long trip. She tucked herself deeper into her winter coat as she looked for her family. Her body was sore from all the bending and digging, but it gave her a sense of satisfaction as they may have discovered more history about Stonehenge.
“Ciecie!”
Her head whipped around to see Mark with a giant poster with her parents and his. Forgetting her bags, she ran up to Mark and threw her arms around Mark’s neck. Her father retrieved her bags as Mark held her tightly in his arms taking in her scent. Marcie loved the adventure her work gave her, but she loved her home with Mark so much more. “I love you” she whispered in the crook of his neck.
“I love you more” he kissed her head before she pulled back and he gave her a kiss on the lips.
The family spent the week before Christmas catching up with Mark and Marcie as well as McKenzie and Changkyun who had stopped in to visit and announce their wedding plans for the following year. Marcie was asked to be McKenzie’s maid of honor which Marcie immediately accepted while Changkyun asked Mark to be one of his best men which he readily agreed. Due to the wedding announcement, Mark debated on proposing after their news, but with a push from both their parents and McKenzie’s not so subtle threat, he pushed forward.
Christmas Eve, the families attended church so that Christmas Day, they could spend it together. Everyone was opening presents dressed casually minus Mark and Marcie who had plans afterwards to go celebrate their anniversary. Done with the presents, the parents cleaned up the wrapping paper and subtly moved as McKenzie grabbed her phone and hit record. Mark and Marcie were the only ones by the Christmas tree and Mark couldn’t help the smile that grazed his lips.
Marcie stood to move, but he caught her hand stopping her as he reached for the final present, “This one is for you from me.” A blush crossed his face as Marcie took the small bag.
Cooly she pulled out the gift paper and found a jewelry box. She smiled expecting another ring or earring to add to the collection Mark had already given her. However, when she flipped open the box, she let out a gasp before looking at Mark who was kneeling before her.
Mark cleared his throat as he felt nervous. “I found the reason for my smile, the day I met you. You complete me, make me, and fulfil me. So will you marry me, Marcie Delilah Addington?”
Marcie’s shaky hand was over her mouth as tears fell down her face. Words would not form and she nodded her head. Mark stood up and took the ring out the box and placed it on Marcie’s finger as the family cheered. He wiped her face of the fallen tears before he kissed her.
Jaebum
To say Jaebum took Yuna for granted was an understatement. It’s not that he meant it on purpose, but he was so used to her being there by his side. At least she had been until she walked out the door of their shared apartment with a small bag of clothes. The slamming of the door was the only noise that was made. Jaebum sat on the couch unmoved from his position. The emotions in him swirled, anger, sadness, betrayal, but most importantly emptiness. Yuna walked out on him. The woman he promised his life to stabbed him in the back-- and it was all his fault.
Yuna wiped a tear off her cheek as she tried to maintain her calm exterior. She was broken inside, but as she walked down the hall past the neighbors she sure heard their shouting match--she held her head up high. She wouldn’t cry. Not there where people would judge her. Where people would assume he left her. Paparazzi would eat up that story and his fans would believe it as they have always hated her. The elevator opened and shut once she was inside. When she was finally alone, her tears spilled and she let out a sob down ten floors of their apartment complex. Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart as she descended down to the main lobby. When she was free from the elevator, she fled no longer caring for the stares of others as she raced out to her car.
A week of silence from Jaebum is what led the others to investigate starting at his apartment. Mark punched in the code to the apartment and opened the door to darkness. The guys rushed inside and saw Jaebum on the couch fast asleep with his phone clutched in his hand. “Jae?” Mark approached him and gave him a shake.
Jaebum shot up, “Yuna!” He exclaimed but his sadness returned when he saw the guys, “It’s just you guys.”
“Just us?” Jinyoung’s eyebrow rose, “You haven’t answered our texts in over a week and that’s your response to us?”
Jaebum rubbed his eyes, “That’s not what I meant… I just--I expected Yuna to come home and she hasn’t.” The men went silent and tension rose. “She left me” Jaebum explained, causing them to exhale as they had feared something had happened to her.
“Why? Out of all of us, we wouldn’t have expected you two to break up?”
Jaebum felt a wave of guilt, “It’s my fault… I told her I didn’t need a paper to tell me we were in love--”
“Oh no you didn’t” the guys groaned their complaints. “Why would you tell her that? She’s been waiting to be your wife since well forever!” Bambam huffed.
“I know, I didn’t think of that when I said it. Of course, I wanna marry her, but we’re so young…”
“Have you even proposed to her?” Mark countered and Jaebum fell silent. A deafening answer to them and they shook their heads. “You haven’t even bothered to make your relationship serious, dude. No wonder she left.”
Jaebum jumped from the couch and caught Mark by his collar, “I AM SERIOUS ABOUT HER!”
Mark swatted his hands off him as his anger grew, “Really? Where? Fuck, Jaebum we’re all engaged or married and you’re still fucking dating.”
“I know that. I was just waiting for the right time to propose…”
Mark gestured around the dark room, “I say the perfect time has sailed. She’s gone, Jaebum. And instead of going after her, you let her walk out!”
“I KNOW--”
Mark swung at Jaebum, punching him in the jaw. The others reacted as BamBam and Yugyeom grabbed Mark from swinging again while Youngjae and Jackson rushed to Jaebum’s side and Jinyoung stood between them. “Stop moping around and fucking do something.” Mark easily shoved Bambam and Yugyeom off him and he turned to leave. “Get your head out your ass. You aren’t the only one remotely suffering.”
Mark left, leaving the others and Jaebum alone. Jaebum’s hand cradled his jaw as his other hand clenched, “I know he’s right.. I just don’t know what to do.”
“I think you do know what to do, hyung,” Yugyeom replied. And the truth was Jaebum did know but was terrified.
Another week had gone by before Yuna heard any word from Jaebum asking to meet him in their favorite spot--the hill that had a view of the sky. At first, Yuna was going to chuck the letter and tell him to go to hell, but she missed him. Maybe she had over reacted that they were still just boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes, she wanted to be his wife. She loved him so of course she wanted to marry him. She reluctantly gathered herself and got her makeup on before she headed out to the meeting place.
Jaebum checked his watch again for the hundredth time as he moved the bundle of pink roses in his hand. A throat cleared and his head shot up to see Yuna in one of her favorite sweaters and skirts. He had a chance to make up with her! Had this been a breakup, Yuna would have gone a full 9 yards to show what he was losing--something she had done with men who never had the fortunate chance to be with her. The words he had practiced for over a week were gone as he stared at his girlfriend.
“Well? I didn’t come here to be stared at” Yuna scowled. “I was going to meet up with the real estate agent” she lied. She saw the flicker of hurt in Jaebum’s eyes and she began to feel guilt build, but she shook it off. We’re not staying with him if he won’t look to a future with us, she coached herself as she crossed her arms.
Jaebum bit his lower lip as he held out the flowers, “I just wanted to talk to you…” Yuna took the roses and pressed them to her. “You were right.”
“About?”
“Everything. How I was selfish about not wanting to get married and how I only thought of myself.” His hands felt clammy as he tried to speak. “You chased after me for so long and compared to that, the amount of chasing I’ve done has been nothing. But I love you, you have to know tha--”
Yuna pushed her hair off her shoulder, “It’s not enough.”
Jaebum’s shoulders slumped, “I know... “
“You can love me now and eventually find another woman who you love more. Someone you’d want to start a family with. I could be too annoying to be a wife to you…”
Jaebum’s eyes met her in a panic, “I was a kid when I said that. I never--” No, back then he meant it.
Yuna took a seat on the bench as Jaebum watched her, “It’s stupid. We were kids, but to have the guy you were obsessed with at one point to say that to you, even as a kid, is a hit to your ego. Who’s to say you wouldn’t feel that way again?” Yuna sighed. “Maybe we should just call it quits? With GOT7 and your work, doing this” she swung her finger between the two of them “is just going to make your work so much harder.”
She gave him one of her fake smiles and Jaebum wanted to scream. He saw the pain he brought her, the uncertainty she had due to him unable to make them official. Jaebum knew this was more than something he said as a child. This was her love language, she needed action. Words only meant so much to her compared to actions and Jaebum failed. “Don’t you see, you leaving me will make my life harder” he shook his head, “I wouldn’t be able to function without you.” Yuna sighed as she went to stand, but Jaebum placed his hand on her shoulder as he knelt in front of her. “I know I suck sometimes. I don’t show you that you’re the only one for me, but you have to believe me when I say that. You’re as important to me as the boys if not more.” He pulled out a ring box from his pockets and opened it. Yuna’s eyes widened as a gasp escaped her lips. “And I know this is a pretty shitty way to propose, but I had to show you that you are the only one I want. Mook Yuna, will you marry me?”
Yuna’s eyes watered as she looked from Jaebum to the ring. “Idiot…” Jaebum chuckled as he took out the ring and placed it on her finger. “You’re such an idiot.”
Jaebum pulled her into his arms as she cried. Her fist hit him in the chest a couple of times before it stilled and her left hand wrapped around his neck. “I still need an answer.”
“You wanna die? You put me through all this stress and you want an answer?” She pulled back with anger in her eyes. “I should kill you! I’ve lost years off my life because of you. You sho--”
“Oh shut up” Jaebum rolled his eyes playfully as he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers to silence her complaints. He could have sworn she cursed him under her breath, but when she kissed him back he knew he got the answer he needed.
info: im jaebum/reader, teen+, strangers to lovers au
genre: soft angst, romance | word ct: 5.1k
warnings: suggestive themes
summary: for years, jaebum tried to forget the woman who broke his heart. little did he know that she wasn’t so easily forgotten, and that her face would haunt him at every turn.
note: so I started this three years ago after listening to got7′s face for the first time and I’ve been editing it and forgetting it ever since. lol maybe someone will enjoy it
“Jaebum, I’m sorry.”
Okay.
“I really am.”
Okay.
“Please understand—”
Okay.
“Jae? Don’t just stand there.”
Okay.
“Please—please say something!”
Like what?
Jaebum didn’t know what she expected him to say, not after that. After she ripped out his heart.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
She just stood there in the doorway, bag in hand, waiting for his response with tears in her eyes. He knew she was trying to stay strong, he could see her lip trembling as she held it between her teeth. How long would she wait there? How long would she bat her eyelashes at him innocently waiting for him to make it all okay? What did she even want from him? Forgiveness? Reassurance? Did she think that somehow an apology would make their breakup hurt any less?
“Goodbye, Seohyun.” He forced out through clenched teeth. “Thanks for everything.”
“Wait—Jaebum—!”
Closing the door on both her and their three year relationship, Jaebum couldn’t remember what he did next. He couldn’t remember clawing every photograph off the walls, he couldn’t remember how his fingers stung as they dug into the plaster. He couldn’t recall pulling every plate from their cabinets, he couldn’t recall how his feet bled when he stepped on the broken porcelain. He couldn’t recollect how much he hated the man who stared at him in the mirror, he couldn’t recollect how his fist destroyed the glass and how it finally reflected how he felt inside.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
That was over a year ago. And it felt like an eternity to him. Looking at himself now, suit neatly pressed, shoes freshly shined, he didn’t see any semblance of the man from that night. After he destroyed everything that reminded him of her, as he saw the pictures of happier times reduced to embers in the fireplace, he made himself a promise. He swore that he would never let anyone ruin him so completely ever again. Steeling his heart and caging it in ice, he wouldn’t even give them the chance.
Never again.
“Jae?” Jinyoung inquired, knuckles rasping against Jaebum’s door. “We’re heading out for drinks, want to come with?”
He didn’t even look up from the reports he was filing. “Can’t. I’m busy.”
Jinyoung crossed his arms. “Shocker. You’re always busy.”
“That comes with being the boss.” Jaebum countered easily.
Rolling his eyes, Jinyoung leaned against the doorframe. “C’mon, Jae, just pretend you’re a regular guy and not an office robot for a couple of hours. Would it hurt to have a little fun?”
“Maybe. Socializing is against my programming.” Jaebum teased in a robot voice. “I cannot acquiesce to your request.”
“Dammit Jae.” Jinyoung sighed in disbelief. “Your humor is wasted in this tiny little room. Go out with us. Free yourself from the confines of this dastardly place. One night with the guys isn’t going to kill you. And if it does, I’ll buy lunch for a week. Scouts honor.”
Jaebum snickered quietly. “Alright, if it gets you to shut up I’ll go out for a couple of hours.”
“And do a couple of shots?” Jinyoung pressed hopefully.
“Don’t push your luck, Jin.” Jaebum chastised him, leering over his glasses. “I’ll have a glass of wine and that’s it.”
“I’ll take it.” Jinyoung shrugged. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. You want to catch a ride with me?”
Pursing his lips, Jaebum shook his head. “I’ve got to turn these in before I go. I’ll meet you there if you text me the address.”
Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at his friend suspiciously. “I swear to God, Jae, if you flake on us I’m going to come back here and kick your sorry ass.”
“Like you could take me.” Jaebum smirked. “Just go, I’ll be there soon. Promise.”
Jinyoung didn’t relent, his head dragging as he headed towards his own office. “I’ve got my eyes on you, Im Jaebum. You’re not going to fool me.”
“I’m not trying to fool you.” Jaebum informed him. “But if you keep bothering me I’m going to magically find a stack of financial statements that need to be filed. And who better to file them than my good buddy Park Jinyoung—”
“See you there!” Jinyoung interrupted, dashing down the hall like his heels were on fire. “I’ll text you!”
Chuckling at the expense of his friend, Jaebum leaned back in his chair and tapped his pen against his leg. He couldn’t remember the last time he went out just to go out. It had been too long since he was desperate for the numbing sensation of alcohol pulsing through his veins to simply function normally. The last time he could remember drinking he couldn’t recall anything that happened after. Not until he woke up in some woman’s bed that he didn’t bother to learn the name of. He wanted to feel bad, or at least some part of him did. Because she wasn’t the first, and she most certainly wouldn’t be the last.
Not tonight. He decided. Not this time.
When his phone lit up, a text message from Jinyoung waiting for him impatiently, Jaebum quickly got to work. As much as he tried to keep his stoic face in front of his friend, he needed to get out of the office. If he had to read another poorly written report littered with inaccuracies and spelling errors, he was going to lose his mind. Jinyoung’s offer could not have come soon enough.
By the time he was done, the sun was already starting to set. Cursing underneath his breath, Jaebum grabbed his coat and bolted out the door. Opting to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, he checked the bus schedule while tugging on his gloves. Jinyoung had already been at the bar much longer than he’d like, meaning that Jaebum wasn’t going to get out of the night unscathed. Lucky for him he was always prepared for such occasions. The bottle of aspirin in his desk drawer and him were about to be fast friends.
“Jae!” Jinyoung screamed through the phone. “Where are you!”
Jaebum groaned loudly as he made it out to the street. “I’m sorry, I’m still at the office. But I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“You better be!” Jinyoung continued. “Because I’ll—I’ll kick your ass if you’re not!”
“Shut up Jinyoung, you’re drunk.” He muttered, ending the call and stuffing his phone in his pocket.
Wrapping his scarf around his neck, Jaebum walked briskly to the bus station just down the block. Instantly regretting turning down Jinyoung’s offer for a ride when the cold winter air pelted his skin. Opening his eyes even the slightest caused his eyes to water, each step he took sent a chill down his spine, frost nipped at the tips of his ears, he could barely stand it.
As he waited less than patiently, Jaebum found himself watching the people that passed him. An elderly woman wearing a mismatched set of mittens, a small dog in a boorish sweater jogging along beside her. Two school boys fussing over a handheld video game, laughing jovially despite their harsh words. A young couple walking hand in hand, their eyes filled with affection and warmth, leaving Jaebum with a foul taste in his mouth.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
Lighting a cigarette, he did his best not to think about Seohyun. About how she left him on a night just like this. How each kiss on her eager lips tasted like lies. How her brown eyes hollowed out his very soul. And how each promise she made cut him like knives. Jaebum had been trying to erase her from his life for a whole year. But no matter how much he drank, or how many women he kissed, he could still taste her on his tongue.
Even cigarettes do nothing to mask her taste. He mused, inhaling deeply and savoring the tobacco that filled his lungs.
When the bus pulled up to the curb, Jaebum dropped his unfinished cigarette in the street. Sighing, he tapped his foot impatiently as the doors opened and people spilled out onto the sidewalk. He had completely forgotten how cramped public transport could get during the winter. Another reason why he hated the desolate season. And Jinyoung’s persistent drunken text messages and calls weren’t helping his rapidly souring mood.
“What is it now, Jinyoung?” Jaebum exasperated, getting on the bus and swiping his card.
“Do you know that fish cake shop by the bar?” Jinyoung asked sluggishly. “The one that I really really like?”
Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose as he found a seat at the back of the bus. “No, I do not. But I take it you want me to stop there?”
“Yeeeesss.” He dragged out. “I’m dying for a good fish cake.”
Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends. “Alright, fine, I’ll get you your stupid fish cake. How far away from the bar is the shop?”
“Not far at all!” Jinyoung exclaimed. “Just down the street a ways, you can’t miss it! Thanks Jae! You’re the best!”
Beep beep beep.
Pocketing his phone, Jaebum did his best not to let the night get away from him. He had to keep reminding himself that all of his problems could easily be solved with the bottle of scotch that was waiting at the bar. Jinyoung owed him, and getting free drinks out of him while he was drunk was an easy task for Jaebum. All of that was worth the annoying errands that his best friend was infamous for sending him on.
There’s a scotch on the rocks waiting for you. He told himself over and over again. Do it for the scotch. Scotch can get you through anything.
“Now approaching, Namdaemun Market. Thank you for choosing Seoul Public Transportation, have a nice day.”
As the bus rolled to a complete stop, Jaebum quickly stood and waited for the doors to open. Shouldering past the new borders, he apologized quietly, thankful to finally be off the cramped bus and back out on the street. Even if it was a bit colder than he remembered. Shivering, he pulled his lapel taught over his face, scanning his surroundings for the fish cake shop he was supposed to visit. What he found instead was a ghost from his past. A ghost with hair as black as the hole she gouged into his chest.
Seohyun? He swallowed nervously, his palms sweating despite the brisk December air. Is it really her? Please—please tell me that I’m seeing things.
It had to be her, he knew it deep down inside. He knew by the way his heart stopped, how his stomach sank, that it couldn’t be anyone else. But—his mind wasn’t so easily convinced. How could it be her? How could Lee Seohyun be standing right in front of him? Just as beautiful as the day she ripped out his heart without a care in the world. Waiting outside an electronics kiosk, a lollipop stick protruding from her perfect cherry red lips and a guitar slung over her shoulder as if—
A guitar? Jaebum questioned. Since when does Seohyun know how to—
Realization dawned on Jaebum almost instantly. His eyes were playing tricks on him, like they had so many times before. It wasn’t Seohyun, it would never be Seohyun. No matter how much a small miniscule part of him still wanted her back in his arms, she never would be his. The woman before him was simply his projection of something he would never have. Underneath his breath, Jaebum cursed himself for being hung up on her after all this time.
Still, his gaze didn’t waver as he watched the Seohyun look alike walk down the street. The resemblance was uncanny, had he been intoxicated he would’ve surely mistaken her for Seohyun. She even walked like her. The way her hips swayed—Jaebum couldn’t bring himself to look away. She was beautiful, breathtaking, mysterious, entrancing, the same dangerous formula that Jaebum became addicted to so easily.
For a brief moment, he couldn’t find the differences between them. From the way her dark hair fell languidly over her shoulders, the way her lips twitched into a hesitant smile, how her eyes glistened with a palpable passion. It was almost as if he was looking at a direct reflection of a memory. One he would’ve preferred to remain lost to time.
I need to get to this fish cake shop. Jaebum reminded himself. More importantly, I need to get the hell out of here.
Gathering his runaway thoughts, he started down the busy street, doing his best to avoid the mysterious woman. She was a reminder that he couldn’t afford to fall back into the hole that Seohyun cast him into. The man that loved Seohyun wasn’t one that Jaebum admired. In fact, he was a man that Jaebum tried time and time again to erase. And, until that exact moment, he thought he was doing a fair job of it.
“Get your fish cakes here! Best around!”
Jaebum’s ears perked up at the shouting vendor, appreciating the distraction more than he cared to admit. Besides, his head was in a complete haze ever since he spotted that woman. He wouldn’t have been able to find the shop on his own even if he ran right into the door. Which he practically did. The control Seohyun still had over him terrified him to no end. And he had only seen a woman who looked like her, it wasn’t even her. He shuttered to imagine what would’ve happened if she was really there. Whispering in his ear, her hands gliding up his body, the curves of her body beneath him—
“Jaebum…”
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jaebum willed her husky voice away. The shivers that travelled down his spine—he had to ignore them. He had to get away from her. Ducking into the shop, he quickly purchased the fish cakes and left without a word to the clerk. He feared his own voice, feared how it would betray him. The only thing that mattered to him was getting to the bar and as far away from her as possible.
Without really paying attention to where he was going, Jaebum shouldered past someone and sent them stumbling backwards. Unconsciously, he reached out to steady them, taking hold of their wrist and pulling them in close to him before realizing who it was. It was her. Her. Her slender wrists were within his grasp, her dark eyes looked up at him in surprise, and coherent thought evaded him.
“Thanks!” She exhaled, running a hand through her hair. “I really should look where I’m going.”
At that close distance she looked even more like Seohyun. Jaebum didn’t think it was physically possible, but the proof was right in front of him. The scent of her perfume filled his senses, taking him back to a time when her fragrance was the only thing between them. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, he tried to respond, he tried to say anything that could distract himself from her lips. Her perfectly shaped cherry red lips…
Brushing her hair over her shoulder, she offered him a dangerous look. “Not much of a talker, are you?”
Jaebum never made it to the bar that night.
He woke up the next morning tangled in sheets that weren’t his own. Lying beside him was the woman who unknowingly unravelled every effort he had made to forget about Seohyun. She made him painfully aware that his previous beliefs were nothing more than optimistic delusions. Jaebum hadn’t moved past her, not even in the slightest. He wasn’t sure if he ever would.
As was customary after every one night stand he stumbled into, he quickly pulled his clothes back on and quietly left her apartment without bothering to wake her. He called for a taxi, pointedly ignoring all of the angry texts and numerous voicemails left by Jinyoung as he made his way home. Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to explain himself. Ironically enough, all he wanted to do was drink. He settled for a silent ride through the city that was supposed to save him from himself, but he was beyond saving.
Days passed and he couldn’t shake the memory of Seohyun’s lookalike beneath him. She was a rarity, an anomaly that wandered into his life without any sort of warning. And as easily as she traipsed through his thoughts, she was gone. Frankly that was his own fault, he did it for his own good but it didn’t matter to him. He wanted her, he wanted more, his body ached for her in a way that was all too familiar. He sat at his desk, fists clenched in rage, hating himself for falling back into his old ways. All he wanted was a life without Seohyun, he wasn’t sure it was possible anymore.
At first, he was determined to stay away from her. He willed his thoughts and memories to the back of his mind, trying to get on with his life once more. But it wasn’t so simple. He found himself back on that street corner without realizing how he got there just a few nights later. Diligently looking for the cherry red lips that stained his own and drove him wild.
He would always find his way back to her.
“Did you miss me?”
She came up beside him with a coy smirk, she already knew his answer.
“Still not much of a talker, are you?”
Soon after they would wind up in bed again, as it was slowly becoming their routine. Jaebum had never felt more connected to a complete stranger, someone who could’ve easily gone through life without ever meeting him. He had Seohyun back, in some way. Like a ghost from the past letting him have one last glance at what could’ve been. He could’ve been happy, he was happy. Now he didn’t know what he was. All he knew was her because that was all he wanted to know. And he wanted to know more.
On the first day he learned her lips, on the second day he learned her name.
On the third day she learned his.
“Jae...” She breathed beneath him, desperate for him as he was for her. “Please…”
He loved how she said his name. It pained him that he couldn’t say hers.
“Jae.” She tested on her tongue. “You called me Seohyun again.”
He watched absentmindedly as her delicate fingers dusted over his skin, offering nothing more than a quiet, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She mused. “I just need to know, someone you’re running from or running to?”
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
“Both.”
She visibly winced at his honesty. “Well, I hope I can help with that a little.”
And she did. Her lips pressed against his jaw as her hand slid down his abdomen, he hissed in response and took her in his arms. She was—magic. The second his mind would be occupied by thoughts of Seohyun she would pull him in with her own hypnotic gaze, letting him forget about the woman that brought them together in the first place. It didn’t last for long, but the reprieve was appreciated nevertheless.
On the fourth day he called her Seohyun again. The fifth day was the same.
On the sixth day he said her name and she smiled.
He lost track of the days after that.
The moment their relationship stopped being casual and became something more wasn’t entirely obvious to Jaebum. One day he simply woke up and instead of hoping to see her again soon he decided that soon wasn’t enough. They started to see each other every single day, some of those days didn’t end up in bed either. Maybe that’s when he noticed that she was more to him than he originally intended. Maybe that’s when he knew he was doomed to be in love with Seohyun for the rest of his life. Forever seeking her out in the woman he had hoped would make him forget.
One morning when she was gathering her things, giving Jaebum the space he had so foolishly convinced himself he needed, he asked her to stay. So she stayed. He couldn’t ever remember things with Seohyun being so simple. Seohyun was a woman that made Jaebum fight for every inch, beg for every moment, he was addicted to her and didn’t realize how quickly she was killing him. While he didn’t want to admit it, the moment she left him was probably the kindest thing she had ever done.
But she was perfect and he still loved her.
He hated himself, as he spent more time with her and could only see Seohyun in her eyes, he hated himself. He had hoped that they would separate, that he would see her for her and not for the woman he hated and loved all at once. Because she was perfect just as Seohyun was, all he had to do was wait for the inevitable. Either he would get fed up with her or she would realize the truth. She would learn that she was a replacement for someone that wasn’t worth replacing. Someone he evidently couldn’t let go.
“You look like you have a lot on your mind.” She whispered, dusting her fingers over his arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”
What hurt him most, was that she loved him. She loved him. Not some version of him that only existed as a ghost in her mind, as a lie she couldn’t give up. She loved him for exactly who he was. A man who looked at her and saw another, who reached for her everyday, who was haunted by a touch that was forever ingrained in his skin. He was disgusted by the man she loved, by himself. But if he ever told her the truth, he knew it would break her heart.
Break her like Seohyun destroyed him.
And then she would be gone.
So he would continue to lie to her, betray her no matter how much his own words tore him up inside. A sensation that was all too familiar, one he knew better than most after knowing Seohyun for as long as he did. Ironically, he was just like her. Selfish to the very end.
“I’m alright.” He lied easily as always.
Except she wasn’t convinced, not in the slightest. She had never been convinced of his lies, he could tell just by looking at her that she was enduring his facade as much as he was. Pretending to be fooled so they could continue in blissful ignorance. Because she knew his heart better than even he did, a heart that had long since been locked away. Because she loved him despite everything that he was. And everything that he wasn’t.
It was close to their anniversary when he decided that enough was enough. She had introduced him to her friends, her parents, and he had done the same. Their lives had become intertwined to a point that severing their ties could only result in a catastrophic mess. He had to come clean, he had to put his heart at ease and end the nightmare he almost believed was a dream. He had to let Seohyun go, he had to let her go. Once and for all he had to free himself from her grasp and break a heart that belonged to a woman whose only mistake was running into a man in a fish cake shop.
“I don’t love you anymore, Jaebum. I’m sorry.”
His heart ached as he thought about that day, hated how much his own actions would soon imitate that very moment. Looking at someone who loved you with everything that they had and telling them that it was all over. That you never loved them. That everything was a lie. That you were nothing but a monster.
God I need a drink.
So to put a bit of distance between them, to gather his thoughts, he went to the bar that technically started it all. He ordered his usual drink, he pretended to watch a game that didn’t interest him, and he sat in silence as the moments ticked by. Every now and again the bartender would try to strike up a conversation, but after being ignored for the fifth time he finally gave up. Jaebum wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be a decent human being, it was taking every concerted effort he could afford to keep himself from falling apart at the seams.
And despite the fact that he had been sitting at the bar with two fingers of scotch in front of him for nearly an hour, he had yet to take a single sip. He kept swirling it in his hand instead, using it more as a distraction from his rampant thoughts than a means to soothe his agitated nerves. As much as he wanted to get the whole ordeal over with, he couldn’t get drunk. He had been selfish enough in the past year, he had to endure the next few hours sober because she deserved more than what she was given. She deserved more respect than he had ever offered her. And he deserved the misery he was destined for.
Once a couple of hours had passed, he decided it was time to face her. She would be starting dinner soon and he didn’t want her to waste her time. Not when he was going to be effectively kicking her out of his life forever. With a sigh, he put on his jacket to leave and pushed his untouched drink back towards the bartender. Then, a young woman took a seat beside him.
“Why don’t you let me join you for a drink?” She hummed seductively. “You’re looking a little stressed.”
For fucks sake. “Thanks, but no thanks.” He returned without looking at her. “I’ve got better things to do.”
Apparently she wasn’t giving up so easily. “Is that anyway to talk to a pretty girl like me?”
Glancing at her, he wasn’t impressed. “Sorry, but I have somewhere I need to be. Drink by yourself if you’re so inclined.”
As he stood to leave, she took a firm grasp of his arm. “Jaebum? Are you seriously going to ignore me? Are you really that cruel?”
He rolled his eyes at her continued pathetic attempts. “You even learned my name, wow. How long have you been watching me?”
Turning back to look at her, he realized there was something familiar about her. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. But that didn’t matter to him.
“Seriously, I’m not on the market.” He persisted. “Good day.”
“Jaebum!” She shouted in disbelief. “Do you seriously not recognize me? We dated for three fucking years, I feel like I’m owed more than a cold shoulder. Or are you the complete asshole you’ve always been?”
A chill ran down his spine.
“Don’t just stand there!”
No… it—it can’t be… that voice...
“Say something!”
Seohyun?
Realization dawned on him, stomach acid rose in his throat. It had to be her, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind after hearing her say that. Those words, nearly those exact words were seared into his soul ages ago. That voice berated him for years. There was no way he would ever mistake that voice for anyone else. But—she didn’t look like the Seohyun he remembered. The mere sight of her didn’t drive him mad, he didn’t have to fight back the urge to throw himself at her feet. She was Seohyun without the best and the worst parts of her.
She wasn’t the woman he loved.
Not anymore.
“Wow…” He exhaled with a smile. “You’ve really changed, haven’t you.”
Which, now that the initial shock had worn off, he realized that she was the exact same. Painfully so. Her nails were freshly manicured, her hair and makeup were set perfectly in place, her clothes were fresh off the runway, she was Seohyun in every sense of the word. Perfectly plucked from time and placed in front of him. She was everything he thought he loved. Before he learned what love really looked like. And god it didn’t look like her.
“And you haven’t changed at all.” She huffed. “Still the rude asshole I dumped forever ago. I can’t believe I doubted myself for a second there, spotting you across the bar made it seem like the good old times. But I really made the right call, didn’t I?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “You really did. Goodbye, Seohyun. Thanks for everything.”
She scoffed as he left. “Yeah, whatever.”
After that, Jaebum didn’t hesitate. He took off running for the bus stop, desperate to get home to a woman that he had loved for a whole year and just didn’t know it. He had been so sure that the love he felt for her was just a projection, that she only reminded him of Seohyun so that was the only reason he loved her. Never in all his life had he been happier to be wrong.
I love her… He chanted in his head, over and over again. I love her!
Once he got home, he burst through the door and stopped immediately when he saw her standing there. How had he never noticed before? She was beautiful, she was perfect, she was the woman he loved with his whole heart and he was a fool for not knowing sooner. She made him laugh, she made him smile, she made him forget about Seohyun a hundred times and even wiped her from his heart forever. And he was the idiot who thought it was all a lie.
“What’s wrong, Jaebum?” She asked innocently. “Is something on your mind?”
“Yes.” He confirmed easily, approaching her slowly and taking her hands in his. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching this past year, trying to make sense of my feelings for you. And I think I finally know what my brain has been telling me since the very beginning.”
There was a nervous glint to her eyes, but she played along. “What would that be?”
“That I love you.” He smiled. “I love you for being you and no one else.”
Those words, those simple words that wouldn’t make any sense to someone else, made her face light up like a fireworks display. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his chest, overwhelmed with a feeling he knew all too well. For the first time in four years, Jaebum could breathe. A huge weight had lifted from his shoulders, the ghost of Seohyun was finally gone. He was free.
“I love you too…” She mumbled. “I’ve loved you for so long…”
“I know.” He whispered gently, tilting her chin up and kissing her gently. “And I will thank you everyday for waiting for me.”
➝ summary: After sharing one bed with your flatmate, everything seems to be different. You try your best to not show your confusion, but another incident makes everything even worse. Yet here you are, with a racing heart and dead certainty he’ll break your heart. Read the prequel here!
It's only been two days. Two days and you weren't able to think straight anymore. Jaebum was on your mind twenty-four-seven lately, and there was nothing you could do about it. In actual fact, this was nothing new to you, but since he spent the night in your bed - somehow cuddled up to you - your head was spinning. You expected you wouldn't get any sleep this night, but as soon as you woke up the next morning, you realized you'd slept like a baby in his arms.
He was awake already, looking at you with a soft smile on his lips as you slowly opened your eyes. You still laid in his arms, able to hear his uneven heartbeat while his scent was indulging your senses. Feeling his warm body so close to yours was somehow hard to handle, your mind too tired to be able to process.
Jaebum's fingertips ran up and down your arm while he was only looking at you. You blushed under his gaze, furtively closing your eyes again to savor this intimate moment. It just felt like heaven on earth.
But soon, it got awkward for no reason. Neither of you knew what to do now. You had spent the night together, and even though it has been absolutely PG-13, you somehow felt overwhelmed. And so did he. After what felt like an eternity of silence, you managed to leave the bed, excusing yourself with some lame plea. In record time, you rushed through the bathroom only to leave your apartment without looking at him again.
Great.
The day has been just as awkward as the morning, as you came back home pretty late. Jaebum was sitting in the living room, watching some tv, yet you immediately gained his full attention as soon as you walked in. You managed to exchange a few words but ended up hiding in your room, hoping he would even leave you be.
And so he did.
You didn't get a wink of sleep that night, debating with yourself if you should ask him to sleep at your place again. But since you had no idea how to accomplish that, you refrained from it. There was no way to ask for this without looking like a total idiot since you, in a way, ditched him in the morning.
Today you felt horrible because of the lack of sleep and walked through your day like a zombie. You hurried, so you would be back home before he was.
With a sigh, you closed the door behind you, leaning against it as you closed your eyes for a second. Your heart was racing just by the thought of your flatmate, and soon you realized, you had to do something. And you only had two options: pretending as nothing happened, or straightaway confess.
Your head started spinning again, so you decided to take a quick shower as long as you were alone. Thoughtlessly you threw a few of your clothes directly onto the couch while you made your way to the bathroom. You locked the door behind you, stripping off your underwear to step into the shower.
The warm water ran down your frame while your forehead rested against the cold tilework, your eyes closed. In your mind's eye, you saw him smiling his unique smile, which made your heart jump in excitement. Whenever he was smiling at you, you somehow forgot how to breathe. If you had to be honest, you had a crush on him since forever, but you were able to hide it pretty well. But that one night changed everything.
As you stepped out of the shower, infinite time later, you firstly heard sounds out of the living room, immediately knowing what caused them. Or, to be more exact, who.
And that's when you realized you had made a big mistake. Your clothes were still in the living room, where you left them, just as Jaebum was by now. Shit. You forgot to pick new clothes, and now you were locked up in here with nothing but a towel and old underwear laying on the floor.
Great.
Frantically, you thought about what to do now. But quickly, you concluded there was nothing much you could do besides stepping out of the bathroom and run for dear life. So you wrapped your towel around your body as tight as possible, hoping it would stay at its place long enough for you to get yourself out of harm's way.
Carefully, you opened the door, hoping he wouldn't even notice you. Maybe he was watching tv or listening to music on his phone like he did most of the time, so either way, he wouldn't be able to notice you.
However, he did none of this. Jaebum was standing in front of the windows, staring through the glass into the distance. He seemed in deep thoughts, making you assume you'd be safe.
"Can I talk to you for a second?"
You were halfway there, just as he turned around, his eyes widened as they caught you. He gulped, surreptitiously biting his lip while he constrained himself to look away.
"I'm sorry, I, uh, had no idea..."
Your face turned bright red as your fingers almost painfully clung on to the fabric wrapped around your body. Thank god it was big enough to cover most of your skin, even though there were some parts it couldn't quite reach. It seemed to be barely enough back in the bathroom, but now, you felt exposed, as if you would stand in front of him in your birthday suit. - Which was pretty accurate, in some way.
"L-let me put on s-some clothes real quick, okay?" you gasped, praying to God Jaebum would just let you be. This whole thing between you was embarrassing enough, yet it didn't need to get any worse.
"Okay."
You perceived an audible sigh out of his direction, turning away from you just to spun around again a second later.
"No, sorry. I have to say this now before I don't have the guts anymore."
Awkwardly, you tried to adjust yourself while standing there, shifting from one foot to another. This whole scene was beyond embarrassing, no matter how hard you tried to keep cool.
Jaebum ran a hand through his already messed up hair, visibly searching for the right words. Just a few seconds ago, he was quite sure he would be courageous enough to spill the tea. However, he now felt mesmerized, unable to think straight anymore.
"So, what is it?" you dared to ask, even if you weren't sure you wanted to hear the answer.
"About the other night. I just wanted to say -" He let out another sigh, because, once again, he was unable to express his feelings for you. Why the hell did this have to be so damn hard?
These few words made your heart beat a lot faster, unwillingly giving you a glimpse of hope he maybe would feel the same about you. The next second, however, this hope was smashed into pieces as he shook his head in silence.
"Ah, its nothing. Let's forget about that. Okay?"
Your heart was aching painfully, in the act of consent tacitly. Staring at Jaebum with widened eyes, you felt like an idiot for having any hope at all. He just slept in your bed, yet nothing happened that night. So what were you expecting now?
"Sure," you breathed before you hurried to disappear in your room.
Closing the door behind you, you leaned against it, closing your eyes as your head was resting on the wooden frame.
Fuck!
This whole thing has gotten worse and worse. Suddenly you cursed that stupid night no matter how good it felt that second, it seemed to be nothing more but a big mistake. You never intended to let things get out of hand, yet here you were with a heart that was beating to your neck, although it got shattered to pieces a few seconds ago.
At this point, it felt quite impossible to get back on track with him again. Jaebum was acting differently now, so you were pretty sure it wouldn't turn anywhere near normal again.
You managed to put on some clothes and somehow get ready to leave the apartment directly afterward. There was no way you would stay here, acting like nothing ever happened. You were way too emotional to hide any sort of emotion from anyone.
As you fastly walked through the flat, you felt his gaze on your back, but you acted like you wouldn't notice. You had to get out of here before he would have the chance to become aware of anything.
Jaebum was staring at the door after you slammed it shut behind you.
"Fuck," he hissed, kicking the bookshelf nearby him. He knew he screwed it all up by now, even though he tried so hard not to. However, it felt like mission impossible at this point. It always looked so simple in any movie, yet here he was, feeling like a total idiot.
He never would've guessed he'd fell in love with his flatmate, basically because he always tried to control his passions and think straight before falling for someone head over heels. Yet this was just what happened with you.
It was already late at night, as you finally came home again. Simultaneously as you opened the door, you've been looking out for him, yet he was nowhere in sight. You concluded, he had left the apartment too.
Thank god.
Actually, you wanted to stay the night by a friend, but sadly she hasn't been home, so you had no other choice but to walk home again. Maybe you were lucky enough to be alone this night, anyway. Maybe Jaebum would stay away instead.
You lay awake the whole night, unable to control your thoughts or emotions in the slightest. He was still on your mind like he was before, maybe even more after that incident earlier.
Somewhere along the line, you heard a noise outside your room. Of course, Jaebum had to come home again, but you'd hoped so bad it wouldn't be tonight.
You held your breath as if he wouldn't be able to tell you were home too.
As it knocked at your door, you flinched while your heart was about to leap out of your chest. You had no intention at all to talk to your flatmate now, so you decided to simply not respond.
But he was knocking again, silently calling out your name.
"Go away," you sighed, hoping this would be enough to get rid of him again.
"Please, can I come in?" he asked, his voice muffled through the wood.
"I'm already sleeping."
"No, you're not."
You sighed, pulling your blanket over your head as if you'd be able to disappear. A part of you wanted to hear what he had to say, but you felt way too anxious at this point, so you didn't dare to answer again.
That's when the door opened a crack, Jaebum's head peeking inside. "Y/N? Please?" He sounded agonized, almost begging you to give him a second chance to explain himself.
"What is it, Jae?" You slowly got yourself out of bed to approach him, keeping a little distance between you.
"I'm sorry," he pleaded, hanging his head.
"About?"
He exhaled heavily. "Everything."
You felt another sting deep in your chest, right where your heart was. Whatever Jaebum was about to say now, would only make it worse, you were sure of it.
"You don't have to be. It's okay."
He shook his head a little too rashly. "No, it's not. Listen, I never wanted things to get that difficult between us. I feel like I ruined everything by acting like a total idiot."
Something in the way he was looking at you, caused you to feel his pain too. Jaebum was suffering in a way you couldn't quite comprehend yet.
"It's okay. Really. Now go get some sleep."
"You don't get it. I can't! I'm unable to fall asleep. Not since we slept together," he babbled, causing your eyes to widen. The way he was talking almost implied you two had sex that night, even though both of you knew you hadn't.
"I don't mean... Well, I guess you know what I mean."
Muted, you simply nodded, incapable of saying or reacting in any other way. You only hoped he would hurry up now. He was about to break your heart, at least that's what you thought, and you were pretty sure it would be best to make it fast.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to stay. I was too dizzy, still half asleep, and - obviously - I didn't think before I spoke."
Now it was his heart that shattered a little. Why would you say that? Was he that wrong with reading between the lines?
"What? No, I -"
"I get it. It didn't mean anything to you, and that's fine. Let's just don't make a big deal out of it, okay?"
Jaebum blinked in confusion. "Can you please hear me out now?"
You just nodded, still preparing yourself for the worst. At this point, it was pure torture, and your heart barely couldn't take it anymore.
"It is a big deal for me, okay?"
"W-what?"
Silence spread across the room while you two were eyeing each other. Out of a sudden, a part of you was scared, yet the other part didn't seem to get what was happening right now.
You felt his hand on your waist, and everything was happening quite fast. Jaebum spun you around to turn your back against the wall. He stepped up to you to pin you against it. And that's when his lips crashed upon yours.
Immediately, your body was reacting on his own. You placed your palms on his shoulders, your fingers clung on to the collar of his shirt, while he kissed you hungrily. His body was pushing you closer to the wall, it almost hurt, yet you couldn't care less.
One of his hands placed next to you against the wall to support himself, the other still on your hips. Slowly it ran down your waist, along your thigh only to grab it so he could wrap it around his middle.
You clung on to him for dear life while he deepened the kiss a little more, making your legs shake. Everything he wasn't capable of saying, now mirrored in the way he kissed you. There was no doubt anymore that this night meant a lot to him, and finally, you realized he indeed felt just the same as you did.
Infinite time later, he pulled away, leaving you both breathless and panting for air. Your body was trembling while you were glancing up at him as he brushed your hair out of your face.
"I'm sorry," he repeated himself. "I wanted to say so much to you, but I just couldn't. Not when you look at me like that." He chuckled lightly, tilting his head. "And especially not when you're standing in front of me in nothing but a towel."
You had to laugh as you felt heat rushing in your cheeks while you thought about that stupid situation from earlier. Jaebum was right. Maybe this hasn't been the best moment to confess to you.
"Don't worry. You already made it up to me by now," you breathed before you quickly kissed him again.
Jaebum smiled against your lips before wrapping his arms around your frame, lifting you to carry you to your bed. There was no way any of you would spend this night alone anymore.
