Posting a day early because I know tomorrow will be ~complicated~ and I just need the dopamine of having shared something
May Trope Mayhem 6: Came Back Wrong
A slender hand brought a glass of tea to perfect lips. Nie Huaisang, hypnotised, stared at it, his eyes drawn to the movement.
He'd rather look at that glass than at Lan Xichen's face.
Not that there was anything wrong with him, of course. Everyone agreed that Lan Xichen was fine. They kept exclaiming it in startled tones. How unlucky it had been that the Cloud Recesses had been burned by Wen Xu, forcing Lan Xichen to run away. How wonderful that he eventually made it back home after several weeks, entirely unharmed! Everyone wondered at the miracle.
Nie Huaisang instead wondered at their lack of curiosity concerning the details of that miraculous escape.
It wasn't his place to ask questions. He wasn't quite Lan Xichen's friend, so naturally he couldn't hope for any confidences about that ordeal. Still, Nie Huaisang had tried to find out the truth from his brother, only to learn that Nie Mingjue had never interrogated his good friend about those missing months. Worse still, Nie Mingjue had been reluctant to hear that topic discussed at all, when he was never a man to shy away from difficult topics.
Others were equally uninterested in what happened to Lan Xichen in the early days the war. Although Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji now deferred to him in all things, they were too polite to pester him with questions, and besides they'd had worries of their own at that time, hadn't they. Meng Yao, now Jin Guangyao, found countless excuses to avoid Nie Huaisang's questions, and eventually resorted to begging him not to ask, as he did not like to think about the past. Nie Huaisang might have insisted anyway, had he not become convinced that Meng Yao simply could not answer his questions.
Around that time, Nie Huaisang took notice of Lan Xichen's face.
It used to be that Lan Xichen's face was forgettable. He was handsome, of course. Lans always were. But it was a rather boring sort of beauty which in the end failed to truly attract the eye, no matter what some young ladies and their list of eligible bachelors said.
People never used to have any reason to look at Lan Xichen.
These days, they avoided it.
It always took Nie Huaisang great effort to stare at that face, but he forced himself to do it every time he met Lan Xichen. He could not have explained what made it so difficult. Pushed to explain his discomfort, he might have said that Lan Xichen had become too handsome, but that wasn't quite true. There was something unnatural in that beauty, a smooth perfection that made one dizzy if observed for too long.
And his eyes...
Right then Nie Huaisang dared to glance at Lan Xichen's face, only to find those eyes directed at him. He shivered, and wished he could look away. Somewhere under those terrible eyes, something that might be called a smile spread across lips coloured a perfect shade of pink.
The glass of tea was lowered back to the table. Lan Xichen's attention was entirely on Nie Huaisang, his strange eyes piercing right through him, carelessly digging through every fearful thought that ever crossed his mind. The smile on Lan Xichen's lips widened, just a touch too much. Had anyone looked at him, they would have understood, as Nie Huaisang did, that something wasn't right. But nobody ever looked at Lan Xichen's face. Nobody wanted to. Nobody except Nie Huaisang and it occurred to him, a little late, that he only felt curious because he was allowed to do so.
Lan Xichen laughed softly. It was a pleasant sound, light and joyful, as unnervingly perfect as everything else.
But suddenly something else caught his attention. A remark from Jin Guangyao, followed by a reaction from Nie Mingjue. Lan Xichen looked away from Nie Huaisang who immediately had to take a deep breath.
He'd forgotten to do so since the moment Lan Xichen's eyes met his.
Nie Mingjue, entirely unable to look at the thing that bore his best friend's skin, was nonetheless capable of seeing his own brother, and how pale he'd suddenly become. Nie Huaisang lied. He had no idea what excuse he gave, but he was allowed to leave the room and go rest.
Nie Huaisang had escaped because Lan Xichen had allowed it.
He wondered how long it would be until Lan Xichen tired of that game, and either enthralled him as he had done with everyone else, or else eliminated the single person who might be capable of resisting his glamour.
wrote a silly little xisang-adjacent thing bc I couldn't get the idea out of my head. On AO3
It would later cross Nie Mingjue’s mind that perhaps someone had slipped some wine into Lan Qiren’s tea that day. It was something that people who knew the Lans and resented their adherence to strict principles because it highlighted their own hypocrisies tended to find funny. Since they were at a conference in Lanling, and people of that description made up about nine tenth of the disciples of the Jin sect, the possibility couldn’t be excluded.
It might have been comforting to think that Lan Qiren was merely tipsy when he took Nie Mingjue away from the banquet and into a quiet corner of Carp Tower’s gardens to talk about something important. After all, that something important was nothing less than the possibility of arranging a marriage between Lan Qiren’s nephew and Nie Mingjue’s brother. But Lan Qiren’s arguments were presented to Nie Mingjue with a clarity that showed not only a sober mind, but the result of a long reflection, with every advantage and drawback carefully measured before it was presented to the other interested party.
Initially taken aback by the suggestion, Nie Mingjue only had to think about it a short moment to agree with Lan Qiren.
“I can see how that would serve my sect, and our elders would be pleased to see Huaisang put to good use,” he mused. “I’m less sure your Lan elders could allow a union like that, but those are difficult times, and it’s not as if there are enough girls in that generation. Arranged matches are never ideal for cultivators, but if it were up to me, I’d agree.”
Lan Qiren threw him a severe look. Nie Mingjue, in spite of never being his student, still couldn’t help an odd feeling, as if his favourite teacher were disappointed in him.
“You are Qinghe Nie’s sect leader,” Lan Qiren sternly replied. “The choices you make for your sect must be obeyed. If there are any in your sect who cannot accept it, then they ought to see if some other sect will be more aligned with their principle, or even try to start their own and see how easy it is to bear the burden of leadership. Do not let others use your youth to disrespect you.”
“I’m not worried about my disciples’ objections,” Nie Mingjue assured him. “Any difficulties I had when I succeeded my father has long been dealt with. Nobody who lives in the Unclean Realm would dare to object. Nobody except the one person who would be most directly concerned with that marriage.”
The disapproval radiating from Lan Qiren’s expression only worsened.
“Does your brother have any reasons to object to an engagement with my nephew?”
It was a complicated question. Nie Mingjue wished someone a little more diplomatically inclined than himself could answer it. Of course Lan Xichen was a great boy, quickly growing up into a great man, and he was Nie Mingjue’s closest friend, and one of the most talented boys in his generation. All those things, which would have endeared Lan Xichen to a reasonable person, had no appeal to a willful brat like Nie Huaisang, and might even cause him to dislike anyone who dared to be excellent when he had resigned himself to mediocrity.
“I realise they are not well acquainted,” Lan Qiren conceded. “With Xichen in seclusion for most of the time your brother was with us the first time, and then Xichen going away for a few months to deal with those blood sucking flying snakes last year… but I do think the few times they were near each other went decently well. I have certainly not noticed any animosity on my nephew’s side, and I doubt your brother would bother to hide it if he took a dislike to someone.”
Nie Mingjue opened his mouth, ready to explain that his brother was actually quite capable of holding long grudges in secret. He had a long feud against Jin Zixuan, dating back to before their father’s death. Nie Mingjue only recently found out about because he caught Huaisang rejoicing that he’d be given a chance to make Jin Zixuan pay for his crimes, since they’d soon be studying together in the Cloud Recesses.
The crimes in question were unclear. Nie Huaisang had refused to give any details because he didn’t want anyone involved in his affairs. It might be linked to Jin Zixuan calling Huaisang ugly back when they were five, something Huaisang had cried about for hours at the time, but knowing him it might have been some other ridiculous offence as well. Jin Zixuan was not socially gifted, and Huaisang was easily hurt.
“Xichen is a very accomplished boy, and anyone would be lucky to have him as a husband,” Nie Mingjue stated. “I think even Huaisang admires him. He certainly likes Xichen better than Wangji.”
Lan Qiren raised one eyebrow, as if to say that it didn’t mean much when most people shared that preference about his nephews. Wangji was a brilliant kid, but even Nie Mingjue could tell he was rather lacking in diplomacy.
“Then I don’t see where the problem is,” Lan Qiren still said. “People have gotten married over less than that.”
“The problem,” Nie Mingjue sighed, “is that Huaisang hates being told what to do.”
Lan Qiren frowned, and pinched his lips with a tight expression on his face. Most people who had tried to take Huaisang as a student at any point ended up making that face sooner or later, Nie Mingjue had noticed.
“Yes, I see what you mean,” Lan Qiren conceded. “But if you explain to him that it is for the good of your sect, that Xichen and him are sure to get along…”
Nie Mingjue gave him a look. Lan Qiren’s frown deepened.
“Your brother is a very stubborn boy,” he admitted.
“I’m not sure Xichen would be particularly keen on such a match either,” Nie Mingjue pointed out, partly out of honesty, but also to share the shame. “Isn’t he entitled to a love marriage like everyone else in your sect?”
“I don’t think he cares much about that,” Lan Qiren replied with a hint of pride. “He’s a very reasonable boy.”
Once again, Nie Mingjue wished that someone a little more used to saying unpleasant things in a polite manner were here to help him.
“I supposed when he’s around you, he knows it’s the right way to feel,” he settled on. “But I am his friend, and he speaks to me more freely than he does to you. Which is why I can tell you this: do not try to arrange a match for him unless he already likes the person.”
“You think he would refuse?” Lan Qiren asked.
“He’s a good boy. If you order it, he’ll obey you even if it breaks his heart. He’ll get married to please you, and silently resent it for the rest of his life.”
Lan Qiren paled, as if it had never occurred to him that Lan Xichen might hide his true wishes from him. Nie Mingjue felt rather sorry for him, but also envious. If only Huaisang could be a little less loud about his wishes, his life would be easier.
It was a shame, Nie Mingjue thought. A marriage like that would have strengthened their alliance, which was much needed now that the Wen sect had gotten more aggressive toward the rest of the jianghu. It would have given Nie Mingjue and Lan Qiren an excuse to meet more often, under pretenses of being in-laws, and allowed them to exchange news and talk strategy. But with Huaisang’s difficult temper, and Xichen’s tendency to bottle up, it just couldn’t work.
“You know, I have some distant cousins who are of marrying age,” Nie Mingjue offered, already knowing it wouldn’t be nearly as good an option. “Boys as well, and from a very minor branch of the family, but…”
“If our future sect leader is to marry a man, it must be either out of love or great political advantage,” Lan Qiren objected. “I know how far removed from the main line your cousins are, Nie zongzhu.”
“Then we have to give up on the idea,” Nie Mingjue huffed. “Because unless these two decide that they want to marry entirely of their own volition, forcing them to do it can’t end well.”
Lan Qiren stared at him.
“Say that again?”
“I said let’s give up. I like you and I like Xichen, but I’m not putting myself through months of arguing with Huaisang just to throw him into the arms of someone who won’t want him, so…”
Lan Qiren impatiently shook his head.
“No, not that. You think it might work if they decided they wish to marry? Do you mean that?”
Puzzled by that insistence, Nie Mingjue shrugged, and gave it a moment of thought.
As a rule Huaisang was lazy to the point of indolence, but on the rare occasions he decided he wanted something, he stopped at nothing to get it. Concerning Xichen, Nie Mingjue was less sure, because his friend was guarded even in his company. But there had been sighs at the news of love matches here, comments about famous star crossed lovers there, which hinted at a romantic soul.
“Probably,” Nie Mingjue answered at last. “But you’ve said it yourself, they are little better than strangers, and I don’t see how that could change. Xichen doesn’t typically deal much with guests, does he?”
“Hm.”
Lan Qiren slowly stroked his beard. His expression was nearly as severe as usual, and yet Nie Mingjue got an impression of mischievousness from the glint in the older man’s eyes.
“I have been a teacher for many years now,” Lan Qiren remarked. “And I work with others who also teach. It is not an easy job, and there is more to it than merely sharing knowledge. One duty a teacher has is, of course, to stir his charges away from bad acquaintances. It is one of our hardest tasks, I have come to find.”
“I’m sure,” Nie Mingjue said, puzzled by the change of topic.
Lan Qiren nodded, stroking his beard again.
“There are a few ways to keep a child on the right path, and many ways to send him there faster. Do you know what is the very worst thing you can tell a boy to keep him away from someone they ought not to befriend?”
“You’ll have to tell me.”
“The worst thing you can say is ‘this person here is not someone you should associate with, and I refuse to tell you why.’”
Nie Mingjue chuckled at the weak joke, but stopped when he noticed that Lan Qiren looked dead serious.
It seemed like such a silly thing. But the moment he thought about it seriously, Nie Mingjue had to admit that even for him as a grown man, such a statement would be sure to awaken at least some curiosity. So for someone younger, someone of a rebellious age especially…
“Are you suggesting we should arrange a match for Huaisang and Xichen by… trying to avoid it?” Nie Mingjue asked. “Isn’t it a little twisted?”
“A complicated solution for a complicated problem,” Lan Qiren replied. “I will say I cannot be certain it will work well on Xichen. He is a more level headed and reasonable boy than any I’ve ever met.”
Nie Mingjue, who had seen Lan Xichen’s behaviour when away from his uncle, found it polite not to comment on that.
Not that Lan Xichen acted wild when his uncle wasn’t there to control him. He still mostly abided by Lan rules, and he only rushed into things a reasonable amount when he was excited, but still he certainly wasn’t particularly wiser than other teenagers.
“It might work on Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue admitted. “The brat never wants to do anything unless it’s inconvenient to everyone around him.”
That, and his brother’s love of erotica with dramatic plotlines where lovers were often separated by cruel families, gave Nie Mingjue some confidence that such a plan could work. And if it didn’t… well, no harm done. The two boys weren’t friends, so there was nothing to be ruined between them.
“I will talk to Xichen when I return,” Lan Qiren decided. “I will tell him to keep away from your brother. And then I will start planning for the wedding. Huaisang would marry into the Lan sect, I assume?”
“If you assume that, he’ll refuse to do it,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. “But it would be the most convenient option. We’ll figure out something. For now, I’ll have a serious chat with Huaisang, tell him he mustn’t bother Xichen no matter what because he’s too good for him.”
“He’s vain enough it will certainly catch his attention,” Lan Qiren agreed.
Nie Mingjue knew he ought to have found that remark rude, but it was hard to object to the truth. Even if they managed to cause a love match to happen, Nie Huaisang’s true love would always be his own reflection on shiny surfaces.
“Now, let’s talk about money and details of our alliance,” Lan Qiren said, much to Nie Mingjue’s relief, who was more at ease with politics and finances than with matchmaking. "How much can you spare for a ceremony, and who do you think ought to pay a dowry for a marriage between men?”
May trope Mayhem day 2: "Doesn't know what 'netflix and chill' means"
The door opened to the sight of Lan Xichen, impeccably dressed, holding a pretty pastel box of a suspicious size. Nie Huaisang allowed his eyes to linger on it a moment too long, a delighted smile forcing its way on his lips.
It couldn't be.
Could it?
There was a brand name on the top of the box, but the exquisitely delicate calligraphy made it all but illegible. The length was about right for a decently amusing dildo, though. And what else could it be?
“Please come in,” Nie Huaisang crooned, delighted that his invitation for some nextflix and chill had been so well received.
It had taken him months to make Lan Xichen realise that he was no longer the scrawny, pimply boy who used to taken lessons at his uncle's school. And then some weeks more to ascertain that Lan Xichen was single not because he was picky about girls, but because he was so deep in the closet that Mr Tumnus might start charging rent. Then Nie Huaisang had only needed to orchestrate a few perfect dates between them (perfectly innocent ones, of course)(they hadn't even kissed yet)(tonight would change that).
Then had come the invitation for the present day. Nie Huaisang had made himself blush prettily, and coyly offered that Lan Xichen come to his place. An invitation that was easily accepted of course, because Nie Huaisang was a catch, if he said so himself, and...
“Where can I put this?” Lan Xichen asked after slipping out his shoes, lifting the box a little higher to clarify his meaning.
“Oh, I don't know,” Nie Huaisang replied, trying to sound seductive. “Where do you want it to go?”
“I suppose the kitchen would be best. Unless you want to start with it?”
The offer was so bold that Nie Huaisang blushed. A true, sincere blush. He'd had no idea that Lan Xichen could be so direct! Had he wasted his time, trying to take things slow? Stupid, he'd been stupid, and...
“I just don't want it to melt,” Lan Xichen went on, giving the box a worried look. “The shop said it could keep out of a fridge for an hour, but I don't want to take risks.”
“The shop said... what?”
Temperature play was not without appeal, but it was definitely a kink that needed to be talked about and negotiated in advance.
“You still like raspberry, don't you?” Lan Xichen asked. “I remember your brother often brought you some when he picked you up after classes. Just in case, I also got a few classic flavours. Vanilla, chocolate... I got stracciatella for myself, but I don't mind sharing.”
Nie Huaisang stared at him, then at the box.
“Xichen-ge, what's in there exactly?”
“Ice-cream, of course. Well, gelato. I'm told there's a difference.” Lan Xichen frowned, and his grip on the box tightened. “You said netflix and chill, and... that's movie and an ice-cream, isn't it?”
Looking better at the box, Nie Huaisang realised the complicated calligraphy might be constructed to spell the name of a famous ice-cream parlour he'd heard about. It wasn't quite as exciting as a dildo, but it was still something that Lan Xichen had bought to make him happy. A touching attention remained touching even if it did not, in fact, involve physical contact.
Besides, Nie Huaisang really did love raspberry as a flavour.
“Xichen-ge, you're the best,” he exclaimed, unable to keep a deep fondness out of his voice. “You're right, the kitchen is best... let's put it in the freezer until we've decided what to watch. And we could order some takeout as well, how does that sound? I know a place not far that has some delightful vegetarian dishes, you'll love it.”
Lan Xichen smiled at him, visibly relieved that he hadn't misinterpreted anything.
Ah, he was just so cute.
Nie Huaisang was definitely going to trick that handsome, stupid man into spoon-feeding him ice cream.
I'm so normal about dvawtk at the moment that I wrote a ficlet which I definitely hope to turn into a full thing rip me I just need a plot and it's also on AO3
Wenren È looked down at he halfdead child at his feet.
“I need…”
A sword, he nearly said. Someone to fight at his side as he took over every demonic sect standing in his way. Rising to the top, facing ever more powerful foes to improve his cultivation, until he was left alone on top.
Then he would never improve again, unless a worthy foe came to challenge him.
At his feet, the dying child lifted a small hand and grasped at his boot, clawing at it with desperate strength. That child looked up at him, his eyes seeming to say: ‘whatever you need, I will become’.
Wenren È plucked the child from the pile of corpses, and seized his hand. Already the boy's body was polluted with corpse energy, his flesh nearly rotting with infection. Yet underneath that, his cultivation base was promising. With proper training, that child would become a truly impressive cultivator, if he had the willpower to work for it.
The idea of using that child as a weapon occurred to him again,only to be soon pushed aside by another. A loyal subordinate was easy enough to acquire. Wenren È’s power was sure to draw to him those who hoped to grow in his shadow. But a child capable of surviving when everything around him had died, one with a will to survive so strong he was ready to pledge himself to anyone capable of helping him live a little longer…
It was unlikely the child would survive, Wenren È mused. His body was in a terrible state. His mind likely was just as bad if not worse, though Wenren È figured that was a lesser problem. If that body recovered, if that mind overcame its trauma, if that child was properly trained, wouldn’t he make an incredible opponent someday?
“I need someone strong,” Wenren È stated. “Someone willing to fight me to the death when the day comes.”
The little boy stared at him dully for so long Wenren È wondered if he’d been heard. Then, with slow determination, the child nodded once, his small face grim yet showing no sign of fear.
Wenren È slung the child over his shoulder, as careless as if it were a bag of rice he had to carry, and started thinking.
If he’d intended to turn that child into his weapon, naturally he would have made him his disciple by flinging him in some area rich in natural energy and giving him some manual or other to practice with. But a child raised that way, one who thought of him as his master, might grow to be hesitant to strike him. Even demonic cultivators sometimes developed proper filial feelings for their teachers.
Instead, it might be more efficient to let someone else train that child, and teach him to hate Wenren È. Any of the righteous sects would do fine for that. They were always quick to tell their disciples to despise demonic cultivators, so they didn’t have to inspect their own behaviour. As to which one should be chosen for that child… it did not matter much. They were all the same, at the end of the day.
Eventually, Wenren È settled on taking the child to the gate of Shangqing sect. They had a reputation for growing power, and were said to have access to a great number of healing pills and competent doctors. They also easily accepted promising children, and would definitely keep this one once they checked his potential, no matter how suspicious it would be to have a child in such a bad state handed to them, when their own region was currently free from mortal wars.
“You will live,” Wenren È ordered. “And you will grow strong. When you are strong enough, you will face me in battle.”
He felt the boy nod again, more weakly now. Even though he had been removed from that pile of corpses, the child was still in a terrible state, and might die soon without proper care.
“My name is Wenren È. When you are ready, come and find me. Until then, keep our encounter a secret.”
This time the child did not react. His breathing was weaker, and Wenren È wondered if he might have fainted.
With no more time to waste, Wenren È quickly made his way to Shangqing sect, and left the boy somewhere he was sure to be quickly found. On a whim, he even stayed nearby for a moment, until a disciple of that sect noticed the dying child and hurriedly brought him inside.
A rare pang of doubt struck Wenren È. That child really might have become a useful subordinate, given a chance, and a useful tool in his planned assault against the Xuanyuan sect… But Wenren È trusted his own strength. He would take over that sect with his own power. As for the child, he would either become someone worthy of interest, or he would not. It was not in Wenren È’s hands anymore.
Still it occurred to him, too late, that he did not know the boy’s name. He hadn’t thought to ask. Ultimately, it was unimportant.
He would learn that name on the day that boy had grown strong enough to challenge him.
Lan Wangji stared at his brother with the exact amount of dismay that Lan Xichen had known to expect, then turned to their uncle, hoping he would help him. He used to do the same as a child, always wilful if he was sure that the rules of their sect were on his side.
This time, they were not. Lan Xichen had made sure of it, helped by both Lan Qiren and Nie Huaisang.
“She is a lady of great skill,” Lan Qiren said in answer to his younger nephew's silent plea for help. “Her cultivation is excellent, her personality is acceptable, she has good manners. I see no reason to object to the match.”
“What of xiongzhang's feelings?” Lan Wangji insisted, his expression so pathetic his brother nearly felt sorry for him.
Of course to an outsider, Lan Wangji likely only looked mildly inconvenienced. But Lan Xichen was used to all his expressions, just as he was used to giving in to nearly all of his brother's demands.
On this he would not budge.
“What of my feelings indeed?” Lan Xichen asked with an innocent smile. “I get along wonderfully with Tian Yuanjun. We've been on Night Hunts together. We agree on most topics, and have interesting debates when we happen to disagree. She is as happy to marry me as I am to marry her.”
“You do not love her.”
Lan Xichen winced. Regrettably, in contact with Wei Wuxian, his brother had learned to occasionally be direct, always at the worst of times.
“I love her as much as I love you, Wangji. As much as I love the children in our sect.”
“As much as you love Nie Huaisang?” Lan Wangji accused.
“Do you love me less than your husband?” Lan Xichen retorted. “No, don't try to answer that,” he quickly added, seeing the pain on his brother's face. “My question was unfair, but so was yours. I love him differently than I love her, or you, or shufu. Must you make this so difficult for me, Wangji?”
Far from being properly chastised, Lan Wangji turned again to their uncle.
“Is cheating on a spouse not against the rules?”
“It is,” Lan Qiren agreed.
Lan Wangji turned back to his brother, quietly triumphant. If the rules said so, there was nothing to do but obey. Yet Lan Xichen only smirked at him.
“Of course cheating is a vague concept,” Lan Qiren went on. “Tian Yuanjun is aware of her future husband's pre-existing relationship, and does not mind. I believe she even counted it as a determining factor in making an agreement with Xichen.”
A nod from Lan Xichen confirmed that. Tian Yuanjun wanted out of her father's home, and she wanted children, but she was uninterested in sharing her bed more than necessary. A marriage with a man who needed heirs but otherwise preferred to spend his nights elsewhere, in a sect that generally segregated between sexes, was a dream come true for her.
“That is not the spirit of the rules,” Lan Wangji insisted.
Lan Xichen smiled at him.
“Please do tell me more about following not only the letter, but also the spirit of our rules, Wangji. That is a debate I'm sure will be edifying to both of us. And perhaps we might also invite your husband to that conversation, to see what he thinks of it?”
Lan Wangji glared at him. Lan Xichen stared right back, never losing his smile.
Eventually Lan Wangji looked away, defeated at last.
“Nie Huaisang is a bad influence on you,” he still threw at his brother.
This, Lan Xichen could let him have. Of course Nie Huaisang was a terrible influence, teaching him to get his way even when it inconvenienced others, and Lan Xichen was ever so glad to have him in his life.
Jin Ling glared at the man, and tried to fight against the hold that the Ghost General had on him. He kicked, stomped, and even tried to bite the fierce corpse, all to no avail. The gaunt man watched him with a grin that kept widening. As for the woman she quickly lost interest in Jin Ling’s pitiful efforts and returned to Wen Yuan’s side, resuming her dark business.
“Don’t touch him!” Jin Ling shrieked. “If you touch him, I’ll kill you!”
Unimpressed, the woman shrugged and kept working, while the gaunt man burst out laughing.
“I see, so you take after your uncle then?” he snickered. “Poor peacock, that can’t be easy for him… but at least your mom is used to dealing with your type.”
“Let me go and I’ll show you what my type can do!” Jin Ling cried out, struggling harder against Wen Ning’s hold.
“Tch, and to think A-Yuan had told us you were such a nice little gentleman,” the man retorted with mock disappointment. “I can’t believe he tried to lie.”
“Don’t taunt him like that,” a voice coming from above Jin Ling whined. It was so soft and gentle that it took him a moment to realise it was in fact the fearsome Ghost General who had spoken. “If he keeps wriggling like that I might let him go, and it won’t be good for you, Wei zongzhu.”
Hearing that name, Jin Ling stopped fighting and stared at the gaunt man in front of him. How could that person be Wei Wuxian? A cultivator of his skill should never have aged that way. Even Jin Guangshan looked younger than that man. In fact there were several elders of the Jin sect who, while in their eighties or more, had less gray hair than that person.
“If you’re Wei Wuxian, why are you hurting Wen Yuan?” Jin Ling shouted. “He came back here because he was so worried about you, why are you hurting him? And who are all these people in the cave? And…”
“Sometimes I wish I’d learned that Lan silencing spell,” Wei Wuxian casually said to Wen Ning. “I should have asked Lan Zhan.”
“I don’t think chatty people are a problem you often have these days,” Wen Ning flatly replied. “Stop teasing that boy and explain things to him. If you don’t, I’ll just release him and let him attack you. You’ll have deserved it if he stabs you.”
“You’re no fun at all,” Wei Wuxian cheerfully complained. “Just take him to A-Yuan, it’ll be easier than explaining it myself.”
That order was enough to make Jin Ling willing to momentarily cooperate. He allowed himself to be brought to the stone table, where the woman he had to assume was Wen Qing was doing something to Wen Yuan. The smell of blood was particularly strong there, due to a few small bowls around the table that were filled with it. That it was Wen Yuan’s own blood couldn’t be doubted. There was an incision on his left arm which Wen Qing just finished cleaning as Jin Ling was brought over, though a red bead quickly formed at the edge. Wen Yuan was still alive, then.
“What did you do to him?” Jin Lign whispered through clenched teeth. “Isn’t he your nephew? How could you do this to him?”
“Strictly speaking he’s our cousin,” Wen Qing corrected, unaffected by his accusations. “And I did it using a knife, if you must know. It was a very clean knife, don’t worry. I’m not a monster.”
Jin Ling felt faint. He might have slumped to the floor, had Wen Ning not being there to hold him upright.
“You’re just as bad as Wei gongzi,” Wen Ning scolded. “Why are the two of you teasing that poor boy?”
“After the scare he just gave us, he deserves it,” Wen Qing retorted. “Besides, didn’t A-Yuan say we should treat his husband like family?”
“You two have been left alone together too long,” Wen Ning sighed, before turning his attention back to Jin Ling. “A-Yuan is fine. Jiejie made him sleep while she drew blood from him so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but he’ll wake up soon.”
“Why do you even need his blood?” Jin Ling retorted. “Why did you make him come back? And what’s wrong with all these people sleeping here?”
Wen Ning slowly nodded. Something not unlike a smile distorted his lips.
“I told them that A-Yuan kept the secret, but they didn’t believe me. He’s a good boy. And you are too, if you came here just for him. But you are a little impatient. Weren’t you supposed to wait for him?”
“He was taking too long to return,” Jin Ling grumbled. “He’d said he’d be back in three days.”
For good measure he tried to wriggle free from Wen Ning again, but put little effort into it. It was clear he wouldn’t break free, but it was important to make it clear he wasn’t complying with them just yet.
“So that’s why he was in such a hurry,” Wen Qing mused as she finished bandaging the incision on Wen Yuan’s arm. “Silly child. Well, he can explain everything to you when he wakes up. A-Ning, keep an eye on those two while Wei Wuxian and I work on the next phase.”
Taking her bowls of blood, she walked away. Jin Ling tried to glance behind his shoulder to check what Wei Wuxian and her were doing, but Wen Ning prevented him from moving enough. Annoying and infuriating as the situation had been at first, very soon Jin Ling only felt very awkward, stuck between a dead man and one who was asleep.
“How much longer until he wakes up?” Jin Ling asked. “Can’t you just explain things yourself while we wait?”
“You’ll probably only believe it if someone you trust tells you,” Wen Ning remarked. “It shouldn’t be much longer. But before I forget… how are you feeling?”
“I feel like I hate all of you!”
A strange wheezing sound escaped Wen Ning’s lips. It might have been laughter.
“That’s fair. But I’m more interested in knowing if you feel feverish or dizzy. The air or the Burial Mounds isn’t good for living people. If you feel unwell at all, you have to warn us. Especially if something starts to itch.”
“Why, is there lice here?” Jin Ling asked. Just the thought of it was enough to make his skin crawl.
Movement on the table offered a much welcome distraction from any thoughts of blood sucking insects. Wen Yuan stretched, yawned, and opened his eyes. When they immediately fell on Jin Ling being held down by Wen Ning, he cried out in surprise.
“Why are you here? You were supposed to wait outside!”
“You were supposed to come back in three days,” Jin Ling reminded him, while knowing well that the delay hadn't quite passed yet. “Why did your aunt and dad steal your blood?”
Wen Yuan’s eyes widened. He tried to sit up too quickly and lost balance. Wen Ning let go of Jin Ling to catch Wen Yuan before he could fall, while Jin Ling immediately sprung forward to do the same, each of them holding one of Wen Yuan's arms until he was better.
“You’ve lost blood and you were laying down for a long time,” Wen Ning gently scolded. “You shouldn’t move too much. I’ll see if there’s anything left you could eat. Jin gongzi, until I’m back, please look after A-Yuan and make sure he doesn’t move too much.”
Had it been Wen Qing or Wei Wuxian asking the same thing, Jin Ling would have told them that they had no right to boss him around, or that he didn’t need them to look after his husband. But he was pleased with the speed at which Wen Ning had rushed to grab Wen Yuan when he almost fell from the table, so he just nodded, glad to be trusted by the only person in Wen Yuan’s family who seemed to truly worry about him.
Jin Ling’s improved mood was helped by the fact that as soon as Wen Ning let go of him, Wen Yuan leaned on him a little more, as naturally as if they did it every day, his forehead resting against Jin Ling’s jaw, while his arms wrapped weakly around his husband’s shoulders for support. Jin Ling gave himself one second to enjoy that closeness, then another, before he went again on the offensive.
“Wen Yuan, what did they do to you?”
“Nothing I didn’t agree with,” Wen Yuan sighed, bringing one hand over his eyes. “More importantly… how are you? Do you feel dizzy? You don’t feel any fever, right? Any itches?”
Jin Ling shivered. “Is there really a lice problem here?”
“I wish it were that easy,” Wen Yuan said with a dry laugh that sent puffs of warm air against Jin Ling’s neck, making him shiver again. “I guess… you’re here anyway. You’ve seen the others, and Wen Ning doesn’t seem to mind you being there, so it’s probably fine to tell you.”
He let out a heavy sigh, and leaned a little more against Jin Ling.
“It all started about a dozen years ago,” Wen Yuan explained. “I don’t remember it very clearly, I was pretty young at the time. The grown-ups could give you more details. We’re survivors of the Wen sect, you know. All that’s left of it. Auntie Wen and Wen Ning, and some others from our side of the clan.”
Saying this, Wen Yuan weakly lifted one arm and gestured at the people laying on the ground over blood arrays. Jin Ling shivered, but said nothing. He'd heard that the Wen disciples once numbered in the thousands, but there couldn't be more than three dozen people in that cave.
“I was the only child who had survived the war,” Wen Yuan went on. “Wen Ning told me for a while, they thought I’d really be the last of us. But after a couple years in the Burial Mounds, things had started looking up. Our fields were giving us enough food to eat, and Auntie Wen had discovered some rare herbs that could sell for good money. Some of the others even got married to local people who came to live with us. Everyone was so happy when one of the younger new aunties got pregnant, and she had a baby boy.”
A tight smile appeared on Wen Yuan’s face. His eyes searched among the people gathered until they fell on one particular woman. Jin Ling too watched those half dead people. He’d noticed before that none of them were younger than his own parents, but still looked again, hoping to be proven wrong.
“We didn’t have much, but we still celebrated little Wen Chang’s hundredth day like he was an emperor’s son,” Wen Yuan said. “I think they let me hold him. He was so small. And then not long after, Uncle four’s new wife got pregnant too even though she wasn’t young anymore. Everything was going so well. So when auntie Wen Qing was offered a good paying job in a rich family in another province, just for a few months, we figured it was more good luck.”
He paused, and took a deep breath.
“I think it was Uncle Four who got sick first,” Wen Yuan whispered, his arms tightening on Jin Ling’s shoulders. “Wen Qing had left only a week or two earlier, and we weren’t expecting her back for almost half a year. She’d been offered so much money. She said when she came back, we’d buy some sheep, maybe even a pair of cows, and materials to continue purifying the Mounds. It would have changed our lives,” Wen Yan insisted. “We couldn’t risk our future by asking her to come back. Even Uncle four didn’t want her to come back. It was just a nasty flu, we thought. A few days of rest and he’d recover. But two days later he was in such a bad state he couldn’t move, his skin was covered in rashes. And he wasn’t the only sick one. More people were getting unwell. And then, little Wen Chang too…”
Still desperately looking around for a younger face, Jin Ling pulled Wen Yuan closer. It didn’t mean anything that there were no children in the cave. They must have been sent somewhere else.
“Little Wen Change was the first one who died,” Wen Yuan somberly announced. “Then Uncle four’s wife got sick, lost her baby, and then died. Maybe it was the sickness, or maybe it was the miscarriage. Poor Uncle four was in a coma by then. When he wakes up, we’ll have to tell him.”
“How come you didn’t get sick?” Jin Ling quickly asked to distract him.
He felt Wen Yuan shrug against his side.
“I did get sick. We all did, except Wen Ning who was already dead, and Auntie Wen who was away. Even Wei zongzhu was unwell, but he came up with a method to combat it. It could only work for him, though, because of that cultivation method he uses. The others are only alive because he came up with a method to put them in a stasis. And then, there was me. Out of everyone who got sick, I’m the only one who recovered on my own. Auntie Wen says I was just lucky, and my body managed to fight it back.”
Wen Yuan huffed, and looked again at the people lying all over the cavern’s floor.
“Auntie Wen gave up on her job, of course,” he said. “We couldn't keep her away any longer. She came back, and she managed to use my blood to make a cure of sorts. She tested it on herself and on Wei zongzhu, since they were the only ones strong enough to handle it. It worked, but the ingredients it used were very expensive. Too expensive,” he added in a whisper. “They weren’t able to make enough for the others. All they could do was keep them like this, and look for another method.”
“So you grew up in the middle of… this?” Jin Ling asked, unable to keep the horror out of his voice.
He’d often been unhappy about his life in Lanling, in a sect with too many people, a good share of whom were nothing but vipers. On occasions he’d even thought himself unlucky to have so many siblings, who always seemed to be getting more attention than him.
Never before had Jin Ling felt more like the spoiled brat others accused him of being. He swore to himself that the moment they got home, he’d hug both his parents, and that he’d never complain again when the twins or Jin Bai needed his help with something, and he’d play more with Jin Hui.
“Not exactly,” Wen Yuan sighed. “Auntie Wen Qing was worried I might get sick again, so I went to live in a different part of the burial mounds with Wen Ning. We grew vegetables, and gathered rare plants to sell in town once a month. Mostly we kept away from ordinary people, because we were scared of contagion. But years passed, and the sickness never spread. Eventually, Auntie Wen heard about a place that sold the most important part of the cure she’d invented, a special flowers that enhances the effects of immunised blood. Except it grows very far from here, and it is quite rare. She couldn’t have afforded to travel there.”
“They should have asked for help,” Jin Ling said. “If my mother had known about this, or even jiujiu… if Wei Wuxian had just asked, they’d have done anything to help!”
“He’s stubborn, and a little too proud,” Wen Yuan agreed. By the sound of it, he wasn't pleased about his father's defects. “I think he should have. I’ve heard him say he was worried about infecting them, but I think he was just so sure he’d find a solution on his own.”
Wen Yuan grimaced, and leaned some more on Jin Ling's side.
“Auntie Wen and him are like that. It’s… a little annoying at times. I was getting very angry at them, very often, at one point. But then, something happened that made it possible to think of getting that flower after all. Enough money to send auntie Wen Qing on that trip, as comfortably as she liked.”
“My grandfather’s offer,” Jin Ling guessed.
He frowned and bit his lip, looking deeper into the cave, where Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing were working and whispering to one another.
“So they really did just sell you to us.”
He knew his mother was convinced there had to be a deeper explanation for Wei Wuxian’s decision to give up on his own son. Jin Ling had tried to entertain the idea sometimes, to make her happy, but in the end Wei Wuxian really was as selfish as people said.
“No, it’s not exactly like that,” Wen Yuan said.
He pulled away from Jin Ling and sat straighter on the stone table, a conflicted expression on his face.
“First of all, you have to understand, Auntie Wen and Wei zongzhu didn’t deal with the outside world anymore,” he explained, avoding looking at the people in question, but also at Jin Ling. “They didn’t have time for that, their research took all their time, as well as looking after everyone. And Wen Ning tries to avoid people, he knows he looks scary. So when your grandfather sent someone here to reach out to Wei zongzhu, I was the one who spoke to him, as usually happened. And I didn’t know a lot about the Jin sect back then, but I knew you were all very rich. Rich enough to pay for Auntie Wen’s travels abroad to get that flower, perhaps. It was a chance we couldn't miss. I had to take it. I had to do something.”
“Wait, but then... “ Jin Ling gasped. “Are you offered yourself without telling them?”
Wen Yuan wrung his hands and stared down at his feet. What little blood was left in his body seemed to rush to his cheeks, blushing as badly as Jin Bai when he'd broken something and feared being caught.
“I had no choice!” Wen Yuan exclaimed. “I knew Wei zongzhu would probably refuse. Because he’s proud, you know, and also the Jin sect had already forced his shijie to marry Jin Zixuan so he hated them, and he didn’t have a very good opinion of Jin zongzhu, and he always said he would never share his methods with the world because they’re too dangerous. But I figured maybe if we twisted things just right… if we could imply that we’d give the Jin something what they want, but really didn’t intend to do so…”
“People get really stupid when they think they’re getting what they want,” Jin Ling mumbled, recalling what his sister had said some days earlier. “And my grandfather is worse than most others. So you convinced Wei Wuxian to follow your plan?”
The degree to which Wen Yuan nervously twisted his hands had to be painful, and the awkward grimace on his face was hardly any better.
“Yes… and no. I figured it’d be easier to set everything in motion first, and involve him later,” Wen Yuan confessed. “By the time I told him about my plan, the wedding date had already been decided. I’d never have told Wei zongzhu at all if I could have, but I figured the Jin sect would get suspicious if he didn’t at least show up, and… well.” Wen Yuan let out a nervous laugh. “Let me tell you, Wei zongzhu was not happy at all when I came clean. I wish I'd never had to see him that angry.”
“I bet,” Jin Ling whispered.
He’d heard enough tales from the Sunshot Campaign to vaguely imagine what a furious Wei Wuxian would be like. The mere idea of it had him shivering. And Wen Yuan had deliberately provoked that anger, just because he loved his family and was desperate to save them.
Had Jin Ling not already been in love, that would have caused him to fall for his husband.
“But why a marriage?” Jin Ling asked. “Couldn’t you find something else to offer, besides yourself? There had to be something, some of Wei zongzhu's more useless research, or...”
Wen Yuan fell silent. His eyes wandered around the cavern, the people laying there like corpses waiting to be prepared for their burial. His expression soured.
“I wanted to get out of the Burial Mounds,” he admitted. “My main goal was to help my family, of course, but I also wanted to get away from this place, no matter what it would cost me.” Wen Yuan paused, a deep frown creasing his brow. “You must think I’m awful. Wanting to abandon my family like this…”
Jin Ling took his husband’s hand.
He remembered their early days, how they’d all wondered at Wen Yuan’s oddities. He’d seemed like a wild animal, always on edge and clearly unused to the company of others. Back then, Jin Ling had thought his husband was just like those disciples who’d been born in peasant families and didn’t know how to behave among gentry. A little more unpolished than most, a little less educated, perhaps, but nothing truly astonishing after the initial shock. Wen Yuan’s quick progress under Jiang Yanli’s wing had appeared to confirm it.
How could Jin Ling have guessed that the truth was so much worse?
“You didn’t abandon them,” Jin Ling said. “You did all this for them. And it worked. They’re getting better. And you… I’m never letting you be alone like that again.”
Wen Yuan looked at him with wonder, bordering on adoration. It was a very, very cute expression on him, and yet it only made Jin Ling sad that a promise as simple as that had such an effect. Sad, and perhaps a little angry as well that the grown ups in Wen Yuan’s life hadn’t noticed how hard the situation was on him. Or perhaps they had noticed, and thought he could handle it just because they had handled so much worse during the Sunshot Campaign.
Grown ups were like that sometimes, which Jin Ling always found deeply annoying.
Well, he’d do better than all those stupid adults. He’d keep his promise and never leave Wen Yuan alone. He’d make sure that Wen Yuan never regretted the risk he took in getting married to a stranger. He would…
A kiss to his cheek made Jin Ling lose his train of thought.
His face heated up so much he knew he had to look silly, though he didn’t mind too much because Wen Yuan too was ridiculously red.
It made him very cute again.
“I’m so glad we met,” Wen Yuan said with a shy grin. “I’m so glad it was you, out of everyone your grandfather could have chosen. I was so scared at first, but now if I could decide for myself… I’d still pick you.”
“Well, I, the same,” Jin Ling mumbled, feeling as though he might spontaneously combust. “I, uh. I think you’re really great.”
Wen Yuan laughed gently. For a second Jin Ling feared that his ineptitude with words had caused it, but the radiant expression on his husband’s face seemed to say instead that Wen Yuan was just too happy to hide. A fact confirmed when, just a moment later, he leaned toward Jin Ling and gave him another kiss, this time on the lips. Just as quickly, Wen Yuan pulled back and stared at Jin Ling with wide, worried eyes, as if it were still possible that Jin Ling would get angry at him.
How stupid.
Jin Ling loved him so much.
Intent on proving that, Jin Ling wrapped his arms around Wen Yuan’s waist and pulled him closer to…
“Might not be the best time and place for that, hm?” Wei Wuxian said from further inside the cave, startling both of them. “A-Yuan, there’s not enough blood in you at the moment, don’t make it go somewhere it’s not needed.”
Wen Yuan hid a mortified expression behind his hands, while Jin Ling glared at his father-in-law. The only effect that had was to make Wei Wuxian laugh.
“I can’t say if you look more like your father or like your uncle,” he said, before looking down at whatever it was he was doing to a bowl of Wen Yuan’s blood. “Not a compliment either way, I’m afraid. You know, with the way A-Yuan was speaking of you when he got here, I thought maybe you took more after your mother. It would have been better for you.”
“Well, my mom married my dad,” Jin Ling retorted. “And she’s very happy with him, so I’d say taking after him isn’t all bad. And I guess Wen Yuan took after his mother, because he’s certainly a lot nicer than you.”
Wei Wuxian pulled a face at the reminder that Jiang Yanli had married Jin Zixuan. Jin Ling, who had so many siblings, immediately recognised that expression as a brother’s bafflement that a beloved relative was happy doing something immensely stupid, and frustrated that no harm was coming of it so they didn’t have an excuse to make it stop.
Jin Ling had seen it on his own reflection when dealing with Jin Ruyi and Jin Bai, though in the family it was Jin Dongmei who most often displayed it.
“Don’t worry, Wei zongzhu isn’t related to A-Yuan by blood,” Wen Ning announced as he approached with a bowl of watery, lukewarm soup. “And he didn’t have too much to do with raising him either. That’s why our A-Yuan is a level-headed and respectful boy who doesn’t make rash decisions. Except when he secretly gets engaged to strangers from evil sects to help us, of course, but nobody is perfect.”
Perhaps Jin Ling ought to have objected a little more to hearing his sect described as evil, but he was too busy feeling relieved that Wen Yuan’s link to Wei Wuxian was less strong than he’d feared. Not because Wei Wuxian was evil, although there was also that, but rather because even after such a short acquaintance, Jin Ling could tell that Wei Wuxian was a deeply annoying person.
While Wen Yuan drank his soup and nibbled on some now stale buns Jin Ling and him had managed to steal from home when leaving Lanling, Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing kept working on some strange alchemy in the far side of the cave. It involved blood, Wen Yuan’s blood, as well as foul smelling dried flowers which Wen Qing was distillating in alcohol. It all seemed so disgusting that Jin Ling couldn’t bear to look at it for very long.
In the meantime, he tried instead to chat with Wen Ning, eager to show Wen Yuan that he could get alone with his family just as well as Wen Yuan did with his own. It was rather awkward at first. Many topics felt inappropriate when speaking with an undead man, especially when the man in question had some good reasons to resent Jin Ling’s entire sect. Wen Ning had been killed by Jin cultivators, after all. But as it turned out, Jin Ling and him were able to find common ground in their deep seated dislike of certain members of the Jin sect, all thanks to Wen Yuan pointing out that Jin Ling had a long standing feud with Jin Chan, whose father Jin Zixun had been in charge of the camp where Wen Ning died. Complaining about the vanity and self importance of certain people gave them a safe enough topic.
In the end, Wen Ning was scary, but he wasn’t a bad person. Certainly, out of everyone related to Wen Yuan whom Jin Ling had met so far, Wen Ning was the most pleasant and polite.
Sunset came, followed by nightfall. Wen Ning lit up some candles in the cave, then left to prepare some more of his watery soup, apparently the only food to be had. Jin Ling considered flying to Yiling to buy something more substantial there, but quickly decided against it. Wen Yuan was not in a state to fly, and leaving him alone with Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing was unthinkable. If they decided that more blood was needed for their experiment, someone had to stop them from harming Wen Yuan.
The soup was eaten. Wen Ning prepared a space for Jin Ling to sleep, right next to Wen Yuan, as far away as possible from Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing. As they laid down on the ground, Jin Ling reflected that it was the first time they were sleeping in what could, on a technicality, be called the same bed. It wasn’t how he had envisioned that happening, but the same could have been said about every recent development in his marriage.
When Wen Yuan shyly took his hand and smiled at him in the dark, Jin Ling reflected that maybe it didn’t matter how any of that was happening, as long as it happened at all. Mostly, he thought that Wen Yuan’s hand was warm in his, its palm rough from learning swordsmanship and from his life before Lanling, while the back of it was soft, as would certainly be the rest of his skin when Jin Ling finally got to touch it.
heeey guess who finished a transman!nhs/lxc arranged marriage fic they'd started in 2022?
warning for some mentions of transphobia and attempted assault
and it's on AO3 too
In some ways, Lan Xichen falls in love when he is thirteen and sees a painting.
It is not the best piece of art he’s ever seen in his life, but there’s a life, an energy to it, that’s unlike anything else. The lines could be clearer, the colours are a little muddied, but the birds depicted look just ready to leap off the page.
“Huaisang’s obsessed,” Nie Mingjue complains when that drawing falls off his sleeve, where his brother must have shoved it before he left for this Night Hunt. “The brat can’t lift a sabre to save his life, but he’ll spend his days with a brush in hand.
“Your brother painted this? Isn’t he eleven?”
“Is it that bad?”
Lan Xichen blinks, tearing his eyes from the painting for the first time to look at Nie Mingjue who seems genuinely puzzled about his brother’s artistic merits. It’s nothing new to him that Nie Mingjue isn’t particularly interested in painting or music, but it still shocks him sometimes.
“Mingjue-xiong, this is really good. It’s… it’s really, really good.”
“Uh. Well, Huaisang assures us all that he’s excellent of course,” Nie Mingjue says, “but I had no idea he actually was. Damn, he’ll be so full of himself if I tell him that you’ve complimented him.”
They’ve never met yet, Nie Huisang and Lan Xichen. Nie Huaisang is too young to go on Night Hunts, and more importantly his health isn’t the best. He doesn’t even go to conferences with his father and brother. Lan Xichen has never really given it much thought so far, perfectly happy with his friendship with Nie Mingjue, but suddenly he feels curious about the other Nie gongzi. He hopes they’ll meet.
It would be so much fun to spend a whole day painting with someone who can make such unique art.
-
When an engagement is decided between him and Nie Huaisang, Lan Xichen isn’t consulted for his opinion. He is aware that it is unusual in Gusu Lan, that they usually value love matches in a way that the rest of the world doesn’t, but political marriages aren’t unheard of either, and this is necessary. With Qishan Wen growing in power, both Qinghe Nie and Gusu Lan need allies.
It doesn’t really bother Lan Xichen, anyway. In the past few months, he’s seen more of Nie Huaisang’s paintings, and gotten Nie Mingjue to speak more about his brother. Although he still hasn’t met the younger boy, Lan Xichen feels a certain affection for him, and even painted something for him, asking Nie Mingjue to give it to his brother. It could be a good match, he thinks. Nie Huaisang sounds like a scholar in the making, in spite of his sect’s efforts to turn him into someone more martial, and Lan Xichen wouldn’t mind such a partner.
Of course, there’s some oddities in the engagement contract. The Nie sect had a lot of demands concerning Nie Huaisang’s right to continue following certain Nie customs, and that certain exceptions to Lan rules be granted to him. But as far as Lan Xichen knows, it’s always complicated to organise marriages, and he can understand that going from Qinghe Nie to Gusu Lan would be difficult for anyone, let alone a boy who Lan Xichen suspects is a little spoiled by his family. Lan Xichen has heard that his father and some of the elders fought hard against those concessions, while Lan Qiren fought just as hard in favour of them. Being on friendly terms with sect leader Nie means Lan Qiren assured everyone that the engagement could not happen unless those concessions were granted, and in the end the fear of Qishan Wen was stronger than attachment to rules and traditions.
Lan Xichen is glad that his uncle triumphed, which is sure to make things more comfortable for everyone involved when the wedding happens.
For now, he can’t wait to meet Nie Huaisang at last.
-
When Lan Xichen finally gets to meet Nie Huaisang, it is under less pleasant circumstances than he might have preferred. He’d been hoping to be invited to Qinghe soon, owing both to his engagement and to his friendship with Nie Mingjue. He’d hoped to be introduced to Nie Huaisang and that, under the careful eyes of a chaperone, they might take a walk around the Unclean Realm, or perhaps paint together, or that he’d be shown the pet birds that his fiancé apparently treasures.
Such a visit had been planned, in fact, and then suddenly cancelled after sect leader Nie became unwell. Nobody knows much about that, or if they do, they don’t think a boy of fifteen has any business hearing about these matters. Still, gossip can’t be avoided, and Lan Xichen learns a few things here and there, about sect leader Nie and sect leader Wen, about a Night Hunt gone wrong, about a broken sabre.
Then, after a few months, gossip is replaced by a tragic piece of news: sect leader Nie has died. His oldest son, though not quite of age, succeeds him and must deal with threats both within and without his sect.
So this is how Lan Xichen gets to meet Nie Huaisang at last. Worried that Wen Ruohan might seek to finish what he started, Nie Mingjue sent his brother to the Cloud Recesses to study there, and to be kept safe.
Nie Huaisang isn’t quite what Lan Xichen might have expected. He’s small and frail for his age, especially for someone born in Qinghe Nie, with a round face and delicate hands. Suddenly, Lan Xichen better understands why Nie Mingjue is always worried when he says his brother doesn’t practice hard enough: Nie Huaisang looks younger than his age, and would make anyone feel protective.
An impression that isn’t improved by the deep sorrow apparent on the younger boy’s face, which can be easily explained by the fact that however sect leader Nie died, it was not a peaceful death, and both his sons were there to see it happen. It left such an impression on poor Nie Huaisang that he hasn’t said a word since, or so Nie Mingjue wrote, but there’s hope that a change of air and the chance for new companions might help him recover.
Lan Xichen, eager to give a good first impression, comes to welcome his fiancé at the gate, and encourages him to seek him out if he encounters any problem. Then, because Lan Qiren is currently not in Gusu but in Qinghe with Nie Mingjue, Nie Huaisang is entrusted to a Lan elder who will make sure that the boy is properly settled down while waiting for classes to start.
For the few days that follow, Lan Xichen doesn’t see Nie Huaisang, not even at meals. When he asks about that, he is told not to worry about it, that everything is normal, that this doesn’t concern him.
It isn’t until Lan Qiren returns from Qinghe a week later that Lan Xichen discovers why he hasn’t once crossed paths with his fiancé: through some sort of misunderstanding, Nie Huaisang had been sent to the women’s quarters. It is probably an honest mistake, Lan Xichen thinks. Boys up to eight or nine will sometimes continue living with their mothers, and Nie Huaisang is so frail, he looks so young… someone must have been mistaken regarding his age, and thought that it might be good for him to be under feminine care after the horror of seeing his father die. In fact, this is exactly the official explanation given for that blunder.
Lan Xichen would even have believed it, if not for his uncle’s continued anger regarding that mistake.
Lan Qiren is not a man easily pushed to anger, but something about this situation really upset him. And yet when his nephew tries to ask for details, Lan Qiren won’t give any, merely hinting at some political disagreements, the sorts that are bound to happen when Lan Qiren bears all the responsibilities of a sect leader, and yet none of the actual authority. Besides, Lan Xichen can’t help feeling like there’s something he’s already supposed to know about this situation, judging by the looks his uncle throws him. So he stops asking, and hopes that he'll get to overhear the full explanation someday.
In the meanwhile, now that Nie Huaisang is back where he belongs, Lan Xichen tries to befriend his fiancé. He wants to know the boy who paints such pretty things, the boy who will someday share his house. If they are to be married, it is only natural that they should try to get along. Lan Xichen so wants for them to get along.
The feeling is apparently not mutual.
Nie Huaisang remains mute for the entirety of that year, stubbornly refusing to say a single word to anyone, least of all to Lan Xichen. Not only that, but Nie Huaisang very clearly avoids Lan Xichen whenever possible, changing course when he's walking to make sure they won't pass by each other, refusing every invitation to have tea or paint together.
Lan Xichen, who remembers Lan Wangji's state for the year and a half that followed their mother's death, doesn't take it personally. Grief is a powerful thing, and Nie Mingjue told him more than once that their father and Nie Huaisang had a particularly close bond. It will take time for Nie Huaisang to heal from seeing his beloved father die, especially when Nie Mingjue's letters hint that the months before that death had been rough as well.
Lan Xichen still tries to say hi, still tries to be nice, but doesn’t insist when Nie Huaisang always runs away from their conversations.
If Lan Xichen is understanding about Nie Huaisang’s sorrow, others aren’t. Lan Qiren might put up with a silent student, but he won’t forgive Nie Huaisang for not putting real effort in learning his lessons, and is merciless in grading him. So it’s not much of a surprise when Nie Mingjue and Lan Qiren agree that Nie Huaisang hasn’t learned enough yet, and that he must return a second year to do better. It would be shameful for the husband of Gusu Lan’s future head to be remembered as such a poor student.
And Lan Xichen, a little selfishly, is happy with that decision. Hopefully after having gone home for a while, after a little more time has passed, Nie Huaisang might not be so despondent next year.
-
While back home in Qinghe, Nie Huaisang hits an impressive growth spurt that leaves him just a little taller than Lan Xichen, who for some reason finds that immensely attractive. Nie Huaisang stands a good head above other boys his age, tall and lanky and perhaps a little clumsy, but still with a certain roundness clinging to his face, all of which makes him impossibly handsome to poor Lan Xichen. On top of that, Nie Huaisang has apparently started speaking again, though Lan Xichen’s joy upon discovering this is short lived, because Nie Huaisang still won’t speak to him.
Lan Xichen finds many ways to explain that, just as he did last year. Perhaps Nie Huaisang is shy. Or else he’s like others of their peers and somewhat resents Lan Xichen for being held as an example all boys should try to emulate (a phenomenon Lan Xichen knows well, being often told to act more like Nie Mingjue who is so serious and dedicated to his sect and his cultivation). Perhaps it’s that engagement between them which makes things awkward, because what does one say to one’s fiancé, anyway?
Surely there has to be a valid reason, and one that isn’t just Nie Huaisang not liking Lan Xichen.
It would be unbearable if Nie Huaisang didn’t like Lan Xichen, because Lan Xichen remains utterly fascinated by his fiancé.
The fact that they don’t speak isn’t a hindrance. Who needs to talk, when almost every day Lan Qiren confiscates doodles from Nie Huaisang, or little scraps of poetry written on the margin of his notes? Who needs to talk, when Lan Xichen can see the way Nie Huaisang smiles, the way he tries so hard to make others laugh, how smug he looks whenever he breaks a rule without being caught by Lan Qiren, how adorably pitiful he is when he does get caught and cries to avoid punishment?
Patience is a virtue. Sooner or later, Lan Xichen is sure that the occasion will arise for him and Nie Huaisang to talk, and then everything will change.
Lan Xichen isn’t wrong. The occasion does arise, more than halfway into this session of lectures, though under unpleasant circumstances, and with unpleasant results.
It all happens because of Jin Zixun, who is without a doubt the very worst student Lan Qiren has ever had to deal with. Lan Xichen had never heard his uncle speak so negatively of a student, but Lan Qiren truly despairs of that one. Even Nie Huaisang is better liked by Lan Qiren, if only because he never causes any harm, rarely disturbs others even when he refuses to work, and because Lan Qiren can’t deny the doodles and bribes of poems that take over his school notes are very good. Meanwhile Jin Zixun is a bully who disrupts class regularly and acts as if he’s leagues above other students, arguing against every bad grade he gets, refusing to show his teachers any respect. Several Lan boys have been made to tutor him already, including Lan Xichen himself, but it’s impossible to teach someone who doesn’t want to learn… and yet Jin Zixun can’t easily be sent home either. Jin Guangshan would not take it well, and Gusu Lan cannot make an enemy out of Lanling Jin.
Perhaps it should not have come as a surprise to Lan Xichen when he learns that Jin Zixun chose Nie Huaisang as the main target of his bullying. With the Nies currently in a delicate position politically speaking, and with Nie Huaisang himself a very weak cultivator, standing out with his height and how handsome and delicate he looks… But Nie Huaisang never complains to Lan Qiren or anyone else, so whenever they see him with Jin Zixun and his gang of Jin disciples, they just assume he’s making friends, as he does with all the other guest students.
That is, until Lan Xichen catches Jin Zixun threatening Nie Huaisang one after class one day.
It’s sheer luck that brings Lan Xichen to that remote corner of the Cloud Recesses that afternoon. He was looking for a Lan disciple who was supposed to report to a teacher about additional tutoring but never showed up, when instead he finds Jin Zixun and his cronies behind a seldom used classroom, surrounding poor Nie Huaisang. Even before their words can be heard, it is obvious that the Jins have to be tormenting the poor boy, who has his arms wrapped around himself in defence, and his shoulder hunched as if trying to make himself smaller. Just that alone would be cause for alarm, but when Lan Xichen hears how, exactly, Jin Zixun is taunting Nie Huaisang, it makes the situation so much worse.
“I’m just saying if you’ve got nothing to hide, it’s no big deal to prove you’re a boy,” Jin Zixun says, in the same viciously sweet tone his uncle likes to use, before grabbing Nie Huaisang’s collar and pulling on his clothes. Nie Huaisang cries out in terror, but lacks the strength to push away Jin Zixun who just laughs. “Look at you, reacting like such a girl! No real man would mind showing his chest.”
Jin Zixun pulls harder on Nie Huaisang’s clothes, while Nie Huaisang, moved by panic, fights harder, trying to kick Jin Zixun and the others all while breaking into tears.
“Come on Nie gongzi, you know we’ll leave you alone if you just let us see you’re really a guy,” Jin Zixuan exclaims, cackling in cruel delight and turning to the other boys. “Let’s just do this. You lot hold him, let’s undress him so we can know once and for all!”
“And will you all also undress after that?” Lan Xichen asks, startling the others as he comes closer. “It seems it would only be fair,” Lan Xichen adds, pretending not to notice the sudden terror of the Jins. “In fact, Jin gongzi, since you are so sure that you have the right to judge if Nie Huaisang is not manly enough, I assume you must believe yourself a perfect example of manliness. Why not show us what that should be, before Nie Huaisang shows us anything? But not here of course. I think everyone should get a chance to be enlightened on that topic. Perhaps I should ask my uncle to see if you could offer a demonstration tomorrow in class, in front of every other guest student?”
If Lan Qiren were around to hear his nephew make such threats, Lan Xichen is sure that he would get scolded just as strongly as Jin Zixun. He’s probably breaking rules about abusing his authority, some others about cruel punishment, and maybe the rule about lying too, because he has no intention at all to ask such a thing from his uncle. But all that matters is that Nie Huaisang is crying, something which Lan Xichen wants to ensure will never happen again.
“Lan gongzi, it’s not what it looks like!” Jin Zixun exclaims, eyes darting around. “It’s… we were just fooling around, it was just a game. Right, Nie gongzi?”
Nie Huaisang doesn’t react, too busy trying to put order to his clothes while quietly sobbing. Jin Zixun, who has no survival instinct, gets annoyed when Nie Huaisang doesn’t confirm his story, and grabs him by the collar again, shaking him.
“I said, we were just playing, right?” Jin Zixun snarls. “It was nothing serious, right?”
Lan Xichen takes a step closer and grabs Jin Zixun’s wrist, tightening his grip until the other boy yelps in pain and lets go of Nie Huaisang.
“Even if it was a game, it would be a game which breaks the rules of the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Xichen warns. “So you will go and report to Lan Wangji for punishment, and I’ll tell him exactly what has happened here. From now on, you would do well to keep your distance from Nie gongzi. If I find out anything like this has happened again, you will regret it… and I will find out. Am I clear?”
“If your wife can’t take being pushed around a little, then she should stay with other women and stop playing at being a boy!” Jin Zixun replies, before shouting and spilling a few tears of his own when Lan Xichen tightens his hold on him again, feeling the bones of Jin Zixun’s wrist move. “Stop it, stop it! You’re going to break something!”
“Then maybe Jin gongzi should be more careful about his words if he can’t handle being pushed around a little,” Lan Xichen says before finally releasing him. “If I hear you call Nie Huaisang a girl again I might lose my temper, so please think twice before speaking like this in the future. Am I understood?”
Jin Zixun nods, rubbing his wrist almost desperately, and Lan Xichen knows he should advise the other boy to go to the infirmary, knows his arm strength is on par with that of any adult in the Lan sect… his best excuse for not doing it is that Jin Zixun runs away too quickly, his little Jin friends trailing behind him, and then Lan Xichen had more important things to worry about, because Nie Huaisang is still crying.
“Nie gongzi, did they hurt you?” Lan Xichen asks, stepping closer. “Can I do anything for you?”
Nie Huaisang hurriedly shakes his head and, with trembling hands, continues putting order into his clothes. Or at least, he tries to, but his collar sits crooked against his neck after he’s done and Lan Xichen, eager to help, eager to touch, reaches out to fix it. Immediately Nie Huaisang slaps his hand away with a startled cry, glaring at Lan Xichen with no less fear and hatred that he showed Jin Zixun earlier.
“What are you doing?” Nie Huaisang cries out. “You think saving me means you can do… whatever you were trying to do?”
“I wasn’t trying to do anything!” Lan Xichen protests, horrified by the accusation. “I was just…”
“I didn’t need your help!” Nie Huaisang shouts with renewed tears. “I was doing fine! I had this under control! I didn’t need to be rescued!"
"I only wanted to help," Lan Xichen says. "I thought…"
"Did you really think I was going to let them undress me? Do you think I’m that stupid? Or, or, or that I'd fawn over you if you rescued me? Did you think if you showed me how strong and manly you are, it would turn me into a pleasant and obedient little wife, like some sort of novel?"
Lan Xichen shakes his head, too distraught for words. If he could speak he would explain he doesn't want an obedient wife, that he likes Nie Huaisang as he is now, clever enough to enter the imperial administration if he weren't born a cultivator (if only by cheating on his exams), too spoiled to bother with anything but the things he loves. In the little domestic fantasies Lan Xichen allows himself sometimes, they stand as equals, because what’s the point otherwise? He wants a partnership, not… whatever was going on with his parents.
“Lan gongzi should just mind his own business from now on,” Nie Huaisang hisses, and without waiting for an answer, he all but runs away, leaving Lan Xichen alone with his thoughts.
They’re heavy enough thoughts. He can’t lie to himself anymore, now that Nie Huaisang has made his dislike so plain to see.
The happy marriage Lan Xichen has been hoping for won’t be so happy it seems.
-
A few days after that incident, while Lan Xichen is home alone and studying some texts that a teacher recommended, he gets a visit from Nie Huaisang. That alone is surprising enough, but without so much as stepping in the house, Nie Huaisang hands Lan Xichen a little fabric pouch, mumbling that it is not much of a present, but it is one all the same. Inside the pouch are candies, Lan Xichen’s favourites in fact, as he can’t help but remark out loud.
Nie Huaisang shrugs uncomfortably, refusing to look at him. “I know. Da-ge told me, a while back. And I figured I should thank you. You know, for the other day.”
“You did not need to give me anything,” Lan Xichen gently protests. “I only did what any decent person would have done. Even if you had not been my fiancé, I would have intervened.”
Nie Huaisang shrugs again.
“Would you like to come in and share those with me?” Lan Xichen offers, already hopeful again that this can be fixed, that Nie Huaisang doesn’t hate him, that he was just under shock the other day and taking it out on the only person nearby. “I was about to have tea, and…”
“We’d need a chaperone,” Nie Huaisang cut him. “It’s probably not allowed for us to be alone together until we’re married.”
That is technically true, although with both of them being boys, it doesn’t really matter. Even if one of them were a girl, Lan Xichen respects his sect’s rules too much and wouldn’t get in a compromising position.
Well.
Not unless Nie Huaisang really wants to, anyway. And even then… there’s some tolerance toward engaged couples when it comes to mischief, Lan Xichen knows, as long as appearances remain respectable. So it’d be fine.
It’s not like one of them could get pregnant, right?
“Then perhaps we could…”
“Lan gongzi, don’t bother,” Nie Huaisang sighs, sounding tired and a little pitiful. “I appreciate that you’re trying to be polite and everything, but… you don’t have to. The two of us are so different, it’s normal for us not to get along. Nobody expects a married couple to be on friendly terms when the match was arranged for them, as long as they can work together.”
“I still think it’d be nice to be friends,” Lan Xichen says, ignoring the ache in his chest. “If we’re going to spend our lives together, isn’t it better to be friends?”
“Lan gongzi, please understand my position,” Nie Huaisang pouts. “My life is so miserable! I don’t get to decide who I marry. I don’t get to decide where I live. It’s all so unfair! But I can at least decide who I’m going to be friends with, nobody can tell me what to do about that yet. Who I like and dislike is the only thing I’ll ever get to control for the rest of my life, so I’m going to not be friends with you, or anyone in your sect, ever.”
All Lan Xichen can do is stare at Nie Huaisang, trying to understand that reasoning. He quickly gives up.
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It doesn’t have to make sense to you,” Nie Huaisang insists, crossing his arms on his chest. “It makes sense to me. I don’t have to like you, so I won’t. I don’t have to be your friend, so I won’t. I thought I’d made it obvious enough so far, but I guess it can’t hurt to be a little more direct about it, right?”
In spite of the self control so carefully trained into him, Lan Xichen can’t help the way his hands clench on the little bag of candies Nie Huaisang gave him. He’d been so happy that his fiancé had known this detail about him, and had chosen to memorise his preferences the same way Lan Xichen is trying to do for him.
“Is there any chance Nie gongzi will change his mind about this?” Lan Xichen asks, reverting to empty politeness to hide his aching heart.
“I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you,” Nie Huaisang carelessly retorts. “Anyway, I just don’t think we’d make good friends. Without this engagement, you wouldn’t have ever tried to talk to me. We’re really just too different. Someone who’s such good friends with my brother, what would we have in common? No, it’s better if we don’t bother.”
Again, the logic here completely mystifies Lan Xichen, but it would be uncouth to insist when Nie Huaisang made himself so clear.
At least, there’s still a few years ahead for Lan Xichen to reconcile himself with his fate.
Just like his father, he won’t be lucky in love.
-
The rest of the year passes quietly. As far as Lan Xichen can tell, Jin Zixun has been scared into leaving Nie Huaisang alone, but not into behaving in general, and even his uncle’s reputation can’t prevent him from being sent home in disgrace after another few weeks.
As for Nie Huaisang himself, he fails his exams again, but his behaviour was good enough he’s allowed to try for a third and final time.
Last year, Lan Xichen had been secretly pleased to know Nie Huaisang would return.
This year, it fills him with sorrow to spend another year near his fiancé, knowing they’ll never be close.
-
When the time comes for a new session of classes, Lan Xichen finds that he is more cowardly than he ever expected, and that he can’t bear to be anywhere near Nie Huaisang. So he makes some excuses to his uncle, invokes long delayed plans, and heads for Qinghe just as Nie Huaisang is about to arrive at the Cloud Recesses.
Naturally, Nie Mingjue is sorry to tell him when he arrives that he just barely missed Nie Huaisang. If Lan Xichen had come to visit only a week or two earlier, he could have spent a few days in Qinghe and then accompanied his fiancé to Gusu.
To this Lan Xichen merely smiles, and agrees that it is unlucky indeed. He thinks he’s done a good job of expressing the right degree of disappointment, but Nie Mingjue’s expression darkens for a few seconds. Because they are at the gate of the Unclean Realm, where Nie disciples might overhear their conversation, Nie Mingjue doesn’t insist, and instead asks about Lan Xichen’s journey, giving him the false impression that he successfully fooled his friend.
It is only later, when they are alone in Nie Mingjue’s private quarters, sharing tea and snacks, that Nie Mingjue goes on the offensive.
“So, did something happen with Huaisang?”
Lan Xichen startles at the question, and nearly drops his glass.
“Why do you ask? Did he say something? Did he complain?”
Nie Mingjue scoffs, and rolls his eyes.
“He’s always complaining, you know him,” he says. “Every letter he writes home is a list of everything he’s unhappy with, and then he begs for money so he can buy snacks since they’re the only way he’ll survive his latest ordeal. I bet the moment he gets there this time, he’ll send me another letter begging me to rescue him. He’s a brat.”
Lan Xichen sighs deeply.
“He’s really unhappy in Gusu then, isn’t he?”
“And you don’t like that,” Nie Mingjue notes as his eyes narrow.
Unable to return his gaze, Lan Xichen has to look away, pretending the grey stone wall suddenly fascinates him.
“Of course not,” he concedes, trying his best to sound disappointed instead of hopeless. “Who enjoys knowing that their future spouse doesn’t like their home?”
“I think you’d find a lot of people don’t really care,” Nie Mingjue said. “Look at Jin-zongzhu or Wen-zongzhu, do you think it matters to them whether their wives are happy or not?”
“They’re hardly the sort of husbands I’d want to be,” Lan Xichen retorts with a grimace.
“I know, or else I’d have found a way to end the engagement already,” Nie Mingjue severely states. “I also would have done that if I really thought Huaisang wouldn’t be happy in the Cloud Recesses, but I know it’ll be a good place for him.”
Surprised to hear that, Lan Xichen can’t resist looking at him again. Nie Mingjue is not one for jokes, and his expression is serious enough to confirm he would have broken his brother’s engagement, no matter how badly he needs allies against the Wens.
“He just forces himself to hate it because he’s a brat,” Nie Mingjue goes on, rolling his eyes once more. “Well, and also because some people in your sect antagonised him from the start. He’s still upset he was sent to the women’s quarters, and I think he’ll never forgive the people responsible for that. It’s a shame. Before that incident, he was actually really impatient to meet you.”
“That sounds hard to believe.”
“And yet it’s true,” Nie Mingjue insists. “I don’t know if you remember, there was that one time you painted something for him, and asked me to give it to him. That was before the engagement was decided, I think.”
It feels like a lifetime ago, but Lan Xichen remembers that, yes. He’d been so desperate to show off to that boy he didn’t know, to reach out to someone he was so sure he’d get along with, since they shared a love for the arts. What a fool he’d been.
“He didn’t stop talking about it for weeks,” Nie Mingjue assures him, “and he was over the moon when our father announced he’d be marrying you. Father wisely left out how much your sect fought us on some details regarding Huaisang’s cultivation, so the brat just felt like the luckiest kid in the world. Maybe he’d have been, if Father hadn’t died so suddenly. Looking back on it, I regret sending Huaisang to the Cloud Recesses at that time. I should have waited to be sure Qiren would be there, he’s the only reasonable one in your sect. But what’s done is done, and your people sent Huaisang to live with the girls, and… well, he’s not the forgiving sort.”
“It was a regrettable mistake,” Lan Xichen says, though he privately wonders why it enraged Nie Huaisang so badly.
Of course some men think that everything feminine is below them, that any association with it will taint them, but Nie Huaisang has never struck Lan Xichen as someone who would think that way. Since Nie Huaisang is pretty rather than handsome, and more frail than anyone in his sect, perhaps he’s been mocked before for the way he looks…
Or else, Lan Xichen is looking at this the wrong way. When that incident occurred, he wondered if people believed Nie Huaisang to be much younger than he truly was, and sent him where many young children still live, with the women. A boy of twelve might understand being mistaken for a girl, but he would never forgive anyone thinking he’s seven.
“I am really sorry this happened,” Lan Xichen says. “I had no idea it impacted him so badly. It was only a few days.”
“In his situation, you can imagine what those few days felt like.”
“What situation?”
Nie Mingjue startles at that innocent question, and stares at Lan Xichen as if he’s just grown a second head. And there it is again. That sensation there is something nobody is telling him.
More than once already, Lan Xichen has felt the edges of a secret surrounding Nie Huaisang. Except it is wrong to call it a secret. It feels instead like something everyone knows, which they assume everyone else knows as well, and that they refuse to speak about.
“Mingjue-xiong, what do you mean by Huaisang’s situation?” Lan Xichen insists.
It is probably rude to ask questions when clearly everyone else believes he doesn’t need to understand what’s happening. Just this once, Lan Xichen will be rude, then, if that’s the only way to save his future marriage.
“So they didn’t tell you,” Nie Mingjue mutters to himself. He looks shocked for a moment, and then angry. “Of course they didn’t tell you,” he scoffs. “They probably thought… and it can’t be me telling you.”
“Why not?” Lan Xichen asks. He’s being rude again. He doesn’t care. “If my own friend, my future brother-in-law won’t explain to me what’s going on with my future husband…”
“Xichen, I love you like a brother,” Nie Mingjue interrupts him. “There’s days I probably like you more than Huaisang, because he’s a brat and he drives me crazy. But at this point, the way things are, I can’t tell you. Huaisang would never forgive me.”
“At least you’d know why. He’s angry at me for something I cannot even understand!”
Nie Mingjue winces.
“Better you than me, Xichen. Besides, if I tell you he’ll just be mad at both of you. I keep telling you, he’s a brat.”
Regrettably, that does sound like something Nie Huaisang might do. He really is an unreasonable person. If he weren’t so pretty, and if he didn’t have such a charming smile, and that talent for painting, and a dozen other qualities, Lan Xichen would wash his hands off the whole business and give up on his future marriage.
Nie Mingjue awkwardly pats his shoulder.
“Listen, I’ll write to Huaisang, explain the situation. He’ll probably be willing to explain to you.”
“And if he isn’t?” Lan Xichen miserably asks.
“Then he’ll have to deal with me when he gets home, and he’ll find out he’s not the only unreasonable one in this family,” Nie Mingjue threatens. “I’ll spank him if that’s what it takes. I can let him ruin other people’s lives if he likes, but I’m not letting him do it to himself.”
All Lan Xichen can do is smile at his friend. Truth be told, he is convinced that things have been left to fester for too long. Nie Huaisang has decided to hate him, and nothing can change that. But it is comforting to know that Nie Mingjue feels sorry for him.
Lan Xichen tries to feel comforted.
When he fails to do so, he simply offers another topic to discuss. Nie Mingjue understands and allows the conversation to change.
-
They never talk again about Nie Huaisang in the entire month that Lan Xichen spends in Qinghe. If Nie Mingjue does write to his brother, he doesn’t see fit to inform his friend, who doesn’t ask anyway. Lan Xichen stays in the Unclean Realm longer than he had intended. He tells himself he is enjoying his best friend’s company, and that is not entirely a lie.
Still, all good things must end. After a few weeks, Lan Qiren writes to his nephew to ask that he go check an odd pattern of disappearances near the town of Caiyi. Lan Qiren cannot deal with it himself, as he must make his way to Qinghe for a conference, so it falls to his nephew to ensure everything is sorted out. It should be nothing challenging, likely some water ghosts, and yet the number of deaths demands prompt action. It will be an occasion for Lan Xichen to try out his skill at leadership.
On his way back to the Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen makes a brief stop in Caiyi and promptly decides that things may be more serious than expected. As soon as he gets home, Lan Xichen recruits a few promising Lan juniors, only the best among them. That naturally includes his own brother.
It appears Lan Wangji has not had an easy time with their current selection of guests this year. It surprises Lan Xichen at first. His brother normally does not care about other people. But once he meets Wei Wuxian, sees the mischievous way that boy looks at Lan Wangji, he thinks he understands. A temper like that is sure to attract Lan Wangji’s attention, and Wei Wuxian is not unpleasant to look at, tall and lean. Poor Wangji.
Poor Lan Xichen as well, because Wei Wuxian is friends with Nie Huaisang, who trails behind him and Jiang Cheng when Lan Xichen introduces himself to them.
Nie Huaisang is still unbearably pretty. Lan Xichen still desperately wants to befriend him.
“Huaisang, will you also join this Night Hunt?” Lan Xichen asks after inviting the Jiang boys.
The question startles Nie Huaisang, who pinches his lips and glares at him.
“Oh, I just can’t. Da-ge wants me to study well this year,” he claims. “He even wrote to me to say I’ll be in trouble if I don’t pass. I really can’t let myself be distracted.”
Lan Xichen grows pale, then blushes. The message is clear: Nie Mingjue did write after all, but Nie Huaisang doesn’t care. He is still determined to dislike Lan Xichen.
Lan Xichen smiles at him, and compliments him for being so determined to succeed. Nie Huaisang laughs, and says nothing.
There is nothing more to be said.
-
The Night Hunt in Caiyi Town is a disaster. Lan Xichen counts himself lucky that nobody died, nor was injured. Certainly young Su She lost his sword, but compared to what might have happened fighting a Waterborne Abyss… It’s a miracle they managed to get out, and it shows the amazing talent of some of these boys. Both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji did particularly well, though this Night Hunt is not one they should boast about. Not when the Wens are so obviously behind it.
For the few weeks that follow, Lan Xichen busies himself with the mess surrounding that Waterborne Abyss. The drainage of that portion of the lake must be organised, any corpse found must be purified, long negotiations are necessary with the locals so they’ll accept losing part of the lake on which they depend for an entire decade. Even when he gets to be home for a few days, Lan Xichen has to make reports to his uncle, verbally at first, then on paper so every detail of the incident is recorded for future generations.
On those rare occasions he is in the Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen occasionally sees Nie Huaisang in the distance. He never tries to talk to him. Even if he had time for it, which he doesn’t, what would be the point? Nie Huaisang has made his feelings clear. Lan Xichen will not try to force love to bloom where it cannot exist.
He will not be his father.
Then one day Lan Xichen comes home from Caiyi Town and learns that Wei Wuxian has been sent home. To his surprise it is not his equivocal attitude toward Lan Wangji that caused his expulsion, but a fight with Jin Zixuan, regarding that boy’s engagement to Jiang Yanli. To add to the shame of the Jiang sect, that engagement was cancelled as a result, because Jiang Fengmian didn’t want his daughter to marry someone unwilling.
All this, Lan Xichen hears from an older Lan boy, while they walk through the Cloud Recesses. That boy, a distant cousin, had grabbed Lan Xichen the moment he saw him and insisted on sharing that important information, which in Lan dialect means ‘listen to that new gossip you just have to know’.
“Jiang Fengmian is a fool for breaking that engagement,” the Lan cousin concludes. “His daughter will never get another chance like that.”
“I certainly hope she doesn’t,” Lan Xichen replies. “A boy who doesn’t like her, who feels he can get away with insulting her in front of her relatives! Arranged marriages are a terrible thing.”
“I suppose you’re not exactly lucky either. Nie Huaisang is an even worse partner than Jiang Yanli.”
“I am personally very happy with the choice that was made for me,” Lan Xichen hotly retorts. “And yet happy as I am, I’d rather not marry someone unwilling.”
As soon as the words are out, he knows he’s said too much. He’s not particularly close to this cousin of his, nor does he exactly like him. If he wasn’t exhausted from dealing with the Waterborne Abyss, if he wasn’t so upset that anyone could think he’s like Jin Zixuan, then Lan Xichen would never have spoken this way, least of all in public. His cousin looks at him with an air of judgement that Lan Xichen definitely doesn’t like. Then, all of a sudden, that older boy notices something behind Lan Xichen and blushes.
Lan Xichen turns around.
A little distance from them stands Nie Huaisang.
He is just far enough that, if he were a normal person, he could not have heard them. But Nie Huaisang is a cultivator. His red face and the way he stares at Lan Xichen leave no doubt as to whether he’s overheard that conversation or not. Lan Xichen can only stare back. He is too tired to defend himself. Nie Huaisang meets his eyes for a second, frowns, and runs away.
“What a weirdo,” the Lan cousin mutters.
“Mind how you speak about the future Lan furen,” Lan Xichen snaps, before abandoning his cousin.
He must go make a report to his uncle.
This, at least, is something he can still control.
-
Perhaps some of Lan Xichen exhaustion showed when he spoke to his uncle because Lan Qiren, after hearing about the progress in Caiyi Town, ordered his nephew to take a full day of rest. Lan Xichen tried to protest. The order was repeated. Lan Xichen gave in.
Rest, Lan Xichen decides the following morning, means staying home and meditating. He looks forward to it, finds a pleasant and sunny spot in the garden, sits down… and hears a knock on the front door. He could ignore it, but that would be rude, and maybe someone needs urgent help, so Lan Xichen reluctantly abandons his ray of sunlight to check on his visitor.
He’s shocked to find Nie Huaisang on his doorstep, holding a pouch with the same candies he brought last year.
“Peace offering?” he mumbles as he offers them to Lan Xichen. “I… I was hoping we could talk.”
Without a word, Lan Xichen invites him inside. Nie Huaisang shyly steps in, his eyes looking everywhere around the room except at his fiancé. Lan Xichen waits for Nie Huaisang to talk. When that doesn’t happen, he offers some tea, which is immediately refused.
“I don’t think it’ll take very long,” Nie Huaisang nervously explains, shifting from one foot to the other. “It’s just, Da-ge wrote to me while you were visiting him, and he said… and I didn’t believe him of course, because it’s stupid. It’s so stupid! How could I believe him, right?”
Nie Huaisang glances at Lan Xichen, blushes, and starts pacing in front of him.
“You have to know. They have to have told you. I’ve seen how you are! I know that you know! You have to know!”
“But I don’t,” Lan Xichen tiredly states. “Until your brother and I spoke, I wasn’t even sure there was anything I was meant to know.”
Interrupting his pacing for a moment, Nie Huaisang stares at him in disbelief.
“You know that… that I could have your child?” he asks, growing agitated.
“Yes, something about that was in the marriage contract,” Lan Xichen confirms, a little puzzled. “I think it was in that part regarding allowing you to practice certain Nie techniques even after we’re married? I have wondered about that, but I didn’t want to ask about secret dual cultivation methods.”
Dual cultivation can be mundane, or it can be downright weird. Lan Xichen has read up about it, out of academic curiosity mostly, but also because he is eighteen, and still in love with his very pretty fiancé. He thought that understanding why his body has certain reactions meant he couls learn better self-control, but so far it has mostly made everything… much harder.
Still, Lan Xichen has read everything there is to read about dual cultivation between men. There are ways to create a child even like that, although it is convoluted, expensive, and in general adoption is a much better option. Still, Lan Xichen wouldn’t mind trying for a child. He has fantasised about it, at least early into their engagement. These days, he barely dares to dream of a future where Nie Huaisang tolerates him enough to tolerate holding hands.
A pathetic enough fantasy, as far as these things go, but it can’t be helped.
“It’s, uh, it’s something like that,” Nie Huaisang mumbles, staring with round eyes. “It’s. Uh. So you really don’t know? All this time, they just didn’t tell you? But you… I mean, I thought you were interested in me last year…”
“I was,” Lan Xichen replies quickly, his face burning. “I still am, but I’ve realised how unwelcome it was. Until you made it clear that you disliked being engaged to me, I hadn’t really paused to think that some… That is, that most men would not enjoy being engaged to another man. I’m very sorry that I made you uncomfortable.”
“Uh,” Nie Huaisang says with a nervous giggles.
He suddenly resumes his pacing, much more quickly than before.
“I didn’t expect that!” he squeaks. “I thought you were just hoping I’d change. I mean, Da-ge says your father is clearly hoping for it! And those other Lan elders too, and I know it’s a laughing topic for some people in other sects who suspect! So I was sure, I was so sure! But then Da-ge wrote and said maybe you didn’t know, and I should talk to you.”
“Hoping that you’d change what?” Lan Xichen asks, feeling dizzy from watching Nie Huaisang walk back and forth like this.
Thankfully that’s the moment Nie Huaisang chooses to stop again. He takes a deep breath, stands as tall as he can (which is no longer taller than Lan Xichen, who has caught up to him after all), squares his shoulders, and glares at his fiancé.
“Well,” Nie Huaisang says, proudly lifting his chin. “You see, if I’d been born anywhere other than Qinghe Nie, then I would have had to be a girl.”
Lan Xichen stares right back at him. He thinks, for a moment, that it must be a joke. But Nie Huaisang’s expression is deadly serious, and he looks ready to cry if he hears a single wrong word.
“I’m not sure I quite understand,” Lan Xichen says. “You… why would they think you’re a girl? You don’t look like one.”
A nervous giggle escapes Nie Huaisang’s lips.
“That’s because… I have to use special cultivation techniques, you see,” he quickly explains. “And I take certain pills as well, so that it’s more of a boy’s body. But ultimately it’s still… it’s still not so much of a boy’s body that I couldn’t bear a child if necessary, you understand?”
Lan Xichen doesn’t understand, but he nods anyway.
“But I’m really a boy,” Nie Huaisang adds, sounding defensive now. “I’m definitely a boy. Ever since I’ve been old enough to show any preference, I’ve always been a boy. And I won’t stop being one. Even if you asked me to dress and act like a girl…”
“I wouldn’t do that!” Lan Xichen protests. “Why would I, since you say you’re a boy?”
“When the engagement was first discussed, your sect wanted to demand that I stop being a boy after the marriage,” Nie Huaisang explains, sounding truly distressed now. “They said things like that don’t exist in Gusu Lan, and I’d need to conform to my new sect, like any bride would. My father refused, and your uncle took his side, but a lot of Lan elders still weren’t very happy with this. I mean, they did put me in the women’s quarters the first time I came to study…”
“So that’s what that was about,” Lan Xichen gasps.
He remembers how furious Lan Qiren was over what Lan Xichen had been given to mistake for an honest error. He also recalls how jumpy and nervous Nie Huaisang was his entire first year, refusing to mix in with the Lans, rejecting all of Lan Xichen’s offers of friendship. At the time it had seemed to be the result of being away from home for the first time in his life, the trauma of his father’s violent death, fear for his brother, and no small dose of the usual difficulty most guest students had with adapting to Gusu Lan’s struct rules. This would have been bad enough, and it all probably played a role as well, but to deal with those problems and then also fear being forced to live as something one isn’t…
“This entire thing is horrible!” Lan Xichen exclaims, so caught up in being disappointed by his clan’s elders that he doesn’t notice the way Nie Huaisang tenses and goes pale. “Are there others like you? Is it a common thing? Do you think some Lan disciples might be suffering in silence?"
He isn’t close enough to anyone in the boys' quarters, his brother excepted, for others to confide in him about something as confidential as cultivating like Nie Huaisang is. And of course he's never been in the women's quarters, except to see a great-aunt once or twice when he'd been very young, so he’d know even less if young disciples there were in Nie Huaisang’s situation. But just because Lan Xichen doesn’t know of anyone going through this doesn't mean nobody is that way.
"There could be one or two," Nie Huaisang mumbles. "Or maybe not. Even in Qinghe Nie it is rare, no more than one or two in a generation, and not even in every generation. But we keep the tradition alive anyway, because our founder was… he was like me."
"I didn't know."
"Obviously we don't tell outsiders," Nie Huaisang scoffs with another nervous giggle. "We get enough crap about being descended from a butcher, imagine if someone like Jin Guangshan found out our founder was also someone he'd consider a woman! But it's like that. When our founder's husband died he took over the business, raised his children, and learned cultivation, and figured out it just wasn't right to be a woman. He also created some of the techniques I still use."
"That's amazing," Lan Xichen says, touched that Nie Huaisang would share with him a secret he says is kept from outsiders. "I wonder… maybe once we're married, you'll be able to help if there’s anyone in Gusu Lan who is in your situation? Would you want that?"
Nie Huaisang tilts his head. He still looks ready to fight, but the tears threatening to spill from his eyes have disappeared.
"Hm. When we're married, will you send me to the women's quarters?"
Lan Xichen doesn’t even need to think about it before he shakes his head.
"You'll be the sect heir's husband, someday the sect leader's husband. A man must live among men. Of course we will both need to go to the women's quarters sometimes as part of our duties, but I will not make you live there. It would make no sense, since you’re a man."
Nie Huaisang relaxes, and Lan Xichen frowns.
"You really thought… well, I suppose we gave you reason enough,” Lan Xichen sighs. “Sending you to the women's quarters… And then there was that business with Jin Zixun, too… I feel so stupid, I had no idea what he meant back then.”
“But you do now,” Nie Huaisang mumbles. “You must regret the way you stood up for me…”
“I certainly don’t,” Lan Xichen retorts. “And I hope he did not give you more trouble after that. I should have been more careful. If he bothered you again…”
Nie Huaisang shyly grins as he shakes his head.
“He did not. He was only suspicious of me because of some gossip he’d heard. You sounded so sure of yourself when you said that I was a boy, I think you managed to convince him. Everyone knows that Lan disciples don’t lie.”
“Then I’m glad I was able to help, at least.”
That shy grin on Nie Huaisang’s face turns into a true smile. It is as warm as the sunlight in Lan Xichen’s garden.
“Well, I’m glad we sorted all this out,” Nie Huaisang says. “I was really nervous about talking to you, I’m not going to lie. Although, since we’re talking about awkward things, there’s also…”
Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it, and yet Lan Xichen is glad Nie Huaisang decided to explain himself.
Nie Mingjue was right, it isn’t something that should be explained by an outsider. But Lan Xichen also understands why Nie Huaisang didn’t tell him earlier, considering how other Lans have treated him.
He hopes he’ll be worthy of that trust.
“So, there’s this other issue,” Nie Huaisang says with an embarrassed cough. “Like I said, my body… that is, it’s not like the body most men have. So there’s a chance it won’t be… you might not find it attractive. After all, you liked me before knowing about… all this, so… so what you prefer might not be… If you like men, you may not…”
“I’m not sure I like men in general,” Lan Xichen pensively replies. “Or women in general either, for that matter. I like certain people, not… certain bodies, if that makes sense? You are who you are, so the rest is… I’ll just have to read up on different types of dual cultivation than I’d researched so far.” He stops, realises what he said, and blushes. “Not that I… you… of course, I wouldn’t dare to presume you’d even want to…”
“I’m fine with it,” Nie Huaisang quickly says, his cheeks colouring a little. “If you are, of course.”
“I’m very. I’m fine with it too,” Lan Xichen replies, trying to sound cool and indifferent but failing miserably. “It'll just… be a little different from what I expected. But if it's you, that's all that matters.”
Before Lan Xichen can react, Nie Huaisang giggles and steps closer, raising himself on his tiptoes to press a shy kiss to his fiancé’s cheek, before quickly jumping back.
“I think it’ll work out, yes,” Nie Huaisang agrees, nervously laughing. “I think… I think if it’s you, it’s all that matters for me too.”
A foolish grin forces its way on Lan Xichen’s lips while he brings one hand to his cheek, trying to capture the brief warmth that still lingers there. It is everything he ever wanted.
Almost everything.
There is still one more thing, far more important to him than bodies could ever be. Nearly half a lifetime of waiting cultiminates in this precise moment, when Lan Xichen takes a deep breath to say the words he’s dreamed of since he was thirteen.
“Huaisang, as it happens, I’m free today. If you are as well… would you like to spend the day painting with me?”
Sin of the fathers pt9 / On A03
Hello Lan Wangji, hope you like meeting your son lol
While Jin Ling had expected they might need to take breaks on their way to meet the Lans, Wen Yuan's endurance proved higher than expected. Jin Ling was proud of his student, and happy to arrive at the meeting point after only a day of flying. He’d never admit it out loud, but he’d missed Lan Jingyi.
The moment he saw Lan Jingyi waiting inside the inn and noticed the suspicious glance his friend threw at his husband, any fondness evaporated. Certainly Lan Jingyi couldn’t be blamed for having some negative preconceptions regarding Wen Yuan, but did he need to make it so obvious? Couldn’t he make an effort to be polite, just once?
Lan Wangji, seated across the table from Lan Jingyi, noticed them and unlike some people he had manners. His eyes fell on Wen Yuan, but nothing in his expression changed. He looked neither happy nor unhappy, neither suspicious nor trusting. Complete neutrality was probably the best Jin Ling could hope for, coming from adults who had fought in the Sunshot Campaign.
While Jin Ling and Wen Yuan made their way to the table, the Lans rose to properly greet them. Jin Ling spoke first, thanking Lan Wangji for sparing the time to oversee them, then Lan Jingyi for sending the invite in the first place. Lan Wangji merely nodded in answer, while Lan Jingyi grinned like the insufferable pest that he was.
“Well, I was curious about that husband they got you,” he said. “I figured I’d never get to meet him if I didn’t organise it. I always have to do everything, I swear.”
“Hm,” Lan Wangji said, pouring just enough of a warning into it that Lan Jingyi looked a little guilty and did not insist.
A brief silence fell between the four of them. Wen Yuan, awe-struck by Lan Wangji, as many people tended to be, remained frozen until Jin Ling discreetly nudged him.
“Hanguang-jun, I am honoured to meet you,” Wen Yuan said with a graceful bow.
Lan Wangji elegantly nodded.
“We have met before,” he stated, startling all three boys around him.
Wen Yuan looked the most perturbed among them. A deep crease appeared on his forehead, his eyebrows tightly knit as he tried to remember that occasion.
“You were very young,” Lan Wangji clarified, taking mercy on him. “You might not recall it. It was in Yiling. You were with Wei Ying. We shared a meal.”
“Oh, I do remember that!” Wen Yuan exclaimed, a bright smile on his face. “Yes, of course I remember! Wei zongzhu spoke of it for months, that time we met rich-gege and had such a nice meal. Even to this day, he still sometimes mentions it. It was such a good day for all of us.”
To Jin Ling’s shock, the corners of Lan Wangji’s mouth lifted. It might have been called a smile, except it was well known that Lan Wangji never smiled. Jin Ling glanced at Lan Jingyi, whom he found just as confused as he was.
Lan Jingyi silently mouthed ‘did you know this?’. Jin Ling could only shrug. That his husband’s past was a little mysterious, he knew. But this went beyond ‘mysterious’ and straight up into ‘unbelievable’.
“That day, Wei zongzhu promised to treat you to a meal but left you to pay the bill,” Wen Yuan noted, before bowing again. “It is a debt he has often regretted in the past. I hope you will let me repay it in his name during this Night Hunt.”
Something changed in Lan Wangji's face. That slight hint of a smile disappeared, replaced by a sterner expression. Some might have called him angry, but to Jin Ling he looked almost sad.
“When Wei gongzi leaves the Burial Mounds again, he will repay me himself,” Lan Wangji said. “Do not take the burden of others.”
“Hanguang-jun may wait a long time then, while I am here and willing,” Wen Yuan pleasantly insisted. “Nobody but me has left Yiling in years, nor do they plan to, I fear.”
“Some others have left Yiling,” Lan Wangji simply replied. “One passed near Caiyi Town recently.”
For some reason, Wen Yuan's face turned bright red as he stared at Lan Wangji with something akin to fear. Why that exchange should have caused such a strong reaction was beyond Jin Ling's understanding. All he knew was that his husband was unhappy, and it was his duty to rescue him.
“Hanguang-jun, will you tell us more about the case at hand?” Jin Ling asked. “And would it be acceptable to order food? We’ve had a long journey, I hope you’ll understand.”
He had the impression that Lan Wangji was not pleased with his intervention, though nothing in his cold face really betrayed it. Annoyed or not, Lan Wangji sat down again, and so did the three boys. Food was ordered, and received. When they were done eating, Lan Wangji shared what he had been told of the case, then let Lan Jingyi fill in the gaps with what they’d discovered while waiting for Jin Ling to arrive.
From what the Lan had gathered, in recent months people travelling alone at dusk in a nearby forest sometimes encountered a monk who seemed to have been beaten, his skin scratched badly in places, his clothes torn. The monk, whom they all described as kindly looking with a gentle voice, explained to them that he’d been travelling with a novice but they had been attacked by bandits. They’d managed to run away, but the young novice had fallen down a ditch and was seriously hurt. The monk would then beg them for help, and lead them deeper into the forest. After a while they would feel faint, and eventually pass out. They would then wake up back on the road at best, in the care of locals at worst, their energy so drained it took them weeks to recover. One unlucky man was found dead, just a week earlier.
“That could be a ghost,” Jin Ling said, eyeing Lan Jingyi’s reaction. As expected, his friend grimaced. “Hanguang-Jun, didn’t a lot of people die around here during the Sunshot Campaign?”
Lan Wangji nodded.
“We tried to perform appropriate rites for the souls. It was not always possible.”
He did not elaborate, and Jin Ling dared not ask for details, not with Wen Yuan right next to him. After all, there were only two possible reasons why rites to calm the unresting dead might have been botched during the war: either the Wens had prevented it, or Wei Wuxian had needed their corpses and bodies to fight for him.
“Nobody I asked knew anything about a monk dying around here,” Lan Jingyi remarked. “But that might just mean his body was never found. Supposing it even is a ghost. It could be something else. It could be a demon.”
“Then we need to prepare for all possibilities,” Wen Yuan said. “We should plan how to neutralise a ghost, eliminate a demon, or arrest a human, depending on what we find. And we’ll need to be careful, if that monk has stolen the energy of many people, he will make for a dangerous opponent.”
As he spoke, Lan Wangji gave one brief nod, as if particularly satisfied with those remarks. Jin Ling, who didn’t care about anyone’s approval, felt a pang of envy which he managed to turn into pride that his husband had impressed even the mighty Hanguang-Jun.
A little time was spent establishing their strategies. When they had exhausted every possibility they could imagine, Lan Wangji rose from his seat and retired for the night. He allowed the boys to stay up and talk a little, within reason. Since there wasn’t much they could do until the following evening, it did not matter too much if they went to bed late.
As soon as Lan Wangji was gone, Jin Ling felt tension melt from his shoulders. He was pretty sure Lan Jingyi too relaxed, but Wen Yuan remained a little stiff.
“I know this is a delicate case, but do we really need such close supervision from a senior?” Jin Ling asked. “Didn’t you tell me he usually stays at a short distance so he can help when juniors are on a Night Hunt, but he doesn’t intervene himself?”
“Blame yourself and your husband for that!” Lan Jingyi retorted. “When I told him about this case I’d heard about, and how I wanted to invite you and your husband, Zewu-Jun said Jin zongzhu might not like to have you two in the wild like that, so Hanguang-Jun offered to come so we’d be kept safe.”
“Couldn’t he just have said that and then left us alone?” Jin Ling grumbled. “Every time he’s near me, I feel like I’m in the middle of an exam and I’m failing it.”
Lan Jingyi rolled his eyes, probably to signify that it was not just stupid but also ridiculous to think Lan Wangji would do something as human and normal as lying. Which was probably fair. Jin Ling and Jin Dongmei had often speculated that Lan Wangji wasn’t a human, but maybe a god in a tribulation who had no idea how mortals were supposed to behave.
“So, you’re the infamous husband,” Lan Jingyi said, turning his attention to Wen Yuan, who slightly flinched. “You’re not at all how I expected.”
“In good or bad?” Wen Yuan asked.
His voice was steady and calm, but under the table his hands were clenched tight on the fabric of his robes.
“Oh, definitely in good!” Lan Jingyi exclaimed. “I can’t believe that little mistress got to marry someone so pretty! And you seem so well mannered too! And not too stupid either! Really, you’re wasted on someone like Jin Ling. You should divorce him and find someone better. I’ll help, if you want. I know many pretty girls and boys who’d be happy to marry you, and they all have much better personalities than that guy!”
In response, Wen Yuan let out a nervous giggle.
“That’s no way to speak of your friend, Lan gongzi,” he gently chastised.
“Oh, we’re not friends. Are we, little mistress?”
“Certainly not,” Jin Ling bitterly replied. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”
Puzzled by that exchange, Wen Yuan’s eyes jumped between them a few times before he smiled again.
“I see, how foolish of me to assume that,” he said. “How could I think that, just because you go on Night Hunts together, and write to each other, and trust each other? I feel silly, I should have understood the truth. I know what you two are.”
In spite of himself, Jin Ling tensed. He recalled his father’s stupid suspicion that Lan Jingyi and him were in love. If Wen Yuan too believed it, it would be the worst.
“Obviously, you two are sworn enemies,” Wen Yuan placidly concluded. “There is no other explanation.”
Lan Jingyi burst out laughing so loudly that other patrons of the inn turned to look at them, while Wen Yuan chuckled at his own joke. All Jin Ling managed was a tense smile.
Now fully convinced that Wen Yuan was the funniest person in the world, Lan Jingyi started freely chatting with him, asking him all sorts of rude questions about his life in Lanling and Yiling. Wen Yuan answered some, quietly ignored others, but most of the time he instead got Lan Jingyi to talk about the Cloud Recesses, for which he had a great curiosity. His father had briefly studied there for a series of lectures, so Wen Yuan had heard many things and wanted to know how much was true.
As for Jin Ling, he mostly stayed out of the conversation. Every so often Wen Yuan tried to bring him into it, but Jin Ling was reluctant. He couldn’t have said why at first. Things were going well, he should have been happy to see his friend and his husband getting along so well. Instead, he was filled with the same bitter envy he felt when watching Wen Yuan chat with his siblings or his mother.
They really got along better these days, but sometimes Jin Ling still got that feeling that Wen Yuan would rather have spoken only to other people. That Wen Yuan liked others better than he liked Jin Ling. And he had a right to that, of course. They might be married but they weren’t lovers, Jin Ling had no rights to Wen Yuan’s affection, and yet…
He wasn’t jealous. Of course he wasn’t jealous. It was just that he’d worked so hard to get Wen Yuan to be at ease around him, and it wasn’t fair that someone as unpleasant as Lan Jingyi could get it to happen immediately.
It was a relief when they finally all went to bed. Jin Ling was getting tired of watching his husband have so much fun with someone else.
The following day was spent preparing for their investigation. As they had decided the previous night, they all purchased commoners’ clothes so they could walk in the forest and attempt a meeting with the monk. Two of them would enter the forest from the side close to town, the other two from the opposite side. The people within each duo would walk at a little distance from each other, so they would be close enough to intervene, but far enough to trick the monk into thinking they were alone.
Naturally, Jin Ling had expected that he would be paired up with his husband. It was thus a rather disappointing shock when, instead, Lan Wangji announced that Wen Yuan would work with him.
“Those who are used to Night Hunts need no supervision,” Lan Wangji severely stated when Jin Ling tried to protest. “Wen gongzi has less experience.”
It was hard to argue with that logic, but Jin Ling tried anyway. As much as Lan Wangji impressed him, he could tell that Wen Yuan was uneasy about being alone with a stranger. His expression was tight, almost reminding Jin Ling of the early days of their marriage.
And yet all his arguing was in vain. Lan Wangji had decided. They could either accept or go home.
Jin Ling was still upset about this when Lan Jingyi and him took flight to head for the other side of the forest. He couldn’t help feeling guilty that he’d given in. Certainly Wen Yuan had agreed to that arrangement, but maybe it had been a mistake to leave him alone with Lan Wangji. Didn’t Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian once have a feud of some sort? Lan Wangji had been as close to friendly as he ever got toward Wen Yuan, but what if that was all a deception? What if he tried to hurt Wen Yuan? What if he was mean to him? What if…
“So,” Lan Jingyi said, flying closer to him, “you know that…”
“I probably don't,” Jin Ling snapped at him. “But for being in a sect that doesn't allow gossip, you sure always know the latest rumours.”
Lan Jingyi glared at him.
“It's not my fault! It's because… Well, you know, Lan zongzhu often visits the Nie sect, right ? And sometimes, when he comes home, he brings Nie Huaisang with him, so Nie zongzhu can get a break.”
Jin Ling nodded. He had heard his mother and Jin Guangyao say once that it wasn't just out of kindness toward Nie Mingjue that Lan Xichen often invited Nie Huaisang to the Cloud Recesses. He wasn't sure what else could have motivated him, though. Nie Huaisang wasn't ugly but he wasn't particularly handsome either, and he was at least as annoying as Lan Jingyi, though in a different style. Aside from mercy toward his sworn brother, what could push Lan Xichen to put up with that?
“Whenever Nie gongzi comes, he ends up chatting with me,” Lan Jingyi went on. “And he can't seem to understand that I'm not allowed to gossip, and I can't tell a guest to shut up, right? So, I always end up knowing stuff I shouldn't know.”
“That's fair, but it's your own choice to repeat that stuff after,” Jin Ling pointed out.
Unable to find a good argument to defend himself, Lan Jingyi simply stuck out his tongue at him.
“Shut up and just let me talk, this time it's stuff that interests you. Like how the Nie are really pissed off about your marriage. Apparently Nie zongzhu is really furious. He thinks your grandfather is trying to get Wei Wuxian to build him a corpse army to conquer the world, so he can be a new Wen zongzhu.”
Jin Ling grimaced, and looked down at the forest below them, considering what to say.
The way things worked, he'd noticed, was that Nie Huaisang often took holidays in Gusu right when tensions were high between the Jin and Nie sects. He would gossip to Lan Jingyi, who would gossip to Jin Ling during a Night Hunt, who repeated that gossip to his mother. Naturally, she would then share things with her husband. Jin Zixuan would go on Night Hunts near the territory of the Nie, and have a chance meeting with Nie Mingjue. They would chat about how difficult Jin Guangshan was, discuss how to deal with problems more reasonably, and things would calm down for a while.
It had been months since Jin Ling had seen Lan Jingyi. Not since his marriage was announced in fact. And at the moment, it was unlikely Jin Zixuan and Nie Mingjue could speak as easily as they once did. But if Jin Ling told Lan Jingyi something, it would almost certainly be repeated to Nie Huaisang, who was such a gossiper that of course his brother would hear about it, right?
“Jin zongzhu would probably like that,” Jin Ling huffed. “But Wei Wuxian just took his money and hasn't been in touch even once since then. He never agreed to do anything, after all. He just gave a vague promise of alliance that lets him pretty free to refuse to help, honestly. Jin zongzhu was just ripped off, and I don't give it more than two years before he gives up on Wei Wuxian and looks for a better ally.”
“Will you divorce Wen Yuan when that happens?”
“Why do you care?” Jin Ling snapped, still suspicious of Lan Jingyi's earlier friendliness.
Lan Jingyi shrugged.
“Isn't it a normal thing to ask? You’re only married to him because your grandfather forced you to.”
Only some weeks earlier, Jin Ling might have needed to think about politics and his sect’s image before answering that question. But that evening, while flying over a haunted forest, he knew that unless Wen Yuan himself begged to be released, he would never be willing to let him go.
“Hm. Well… I don't think I will,” Jin Ling said with affected casualness. “Wei Wuxian might not be helpful, but he's still dangerous, so i don't think Jin zongzhu will dare to send Wen Yuan back. And I can’t just decide that on my own, right? So, he’s got to stay, there’s no choice.”
“I'm glad of that,” Lan Jingyi retorted. “You two seem to get along pretty well. Better than I’d have expected when people told me about this. It helps that he’s really nice, not at all like what people were saying.”
“And what is it Nie Huaisang told you about my husband?”
The way Lan Jingyi laughed confirmed that he’d guessed the right source for his previous information.
“Oh, you know him, it was mostly nonsense,” Lan Jingyi assured him. “He won't say one clever thing if he can say three stupid ones. But he had heard Wen Yuan had a cold personality, that he had bad manners, and worst of all that he was very ugly.”
“Whoever said that had better be prepared to fight me!” Jin Ling exclaimed, forgetting that he'd complained about all that and worse in the early days of his marriage.
Jin Ling himself may even have been the source of Nie Huaisang's impressions, probably through Jin Guangyao. Not that Jin Guangyao would have revealed much on purpose, but if Nie Huaisang had one skill in life, it was extracting gossip out of any conversation.
Had it been pointed out to him that he’d once said these things against Wen Yuan, Jin Ling would have argued his old feelings didn't count. Those days were far behind them, and his current opinion of Wen Yuan was the only valid one.
“You really do like him, eh?” Lan Jingyi laughed. “I guess I’m glad that you two managed to fall in love even if circumstances were a bit weird. Most people’s arranged marriages don’t work out that well.”
“We… we’re not in love!” Jin Ling protested, his face burning.
He hated the smirk on Lan Jingyi’s face, that knowing expression which made it very hard to resist the impulse to punch his teeth out.
“We’re not!” Jin Ling insisted. “We’re… I don’t think he sees me like that at all.”
“But you do.”
Jin Ling’s blush deepened. He was glad to notice that they’d finally reached the edge of the forest. Without a word, he flew down, ignoring the way Lan Jingyi kept teasing him as he followed him. Once the ground was close enough, Jin Ling hopped off his sword and hid it inside a qiankun pouch.
“I’ll go in first,” he coldly announced. “Wait here until you can only just see me. And don’t talk once you’re in the woods, if that’s not too much to ask.”
“Sure, sure. Just one more thing before you go…”
“What now?” Jin Ling snapped. “We need to hurry, or Hanguang-Jun will solve this before us!”
“He won’t, he’ll give us a chance first,” Lan Jingyi retorted. “Anyway, I just wanted to say… don’t be so prickly about liking Wen Yuan. There’s worse things in life than before in love with your husband, you know? And besides, from what I saw last night, I’d say he likes you well enough. Which proves some people have no taste, really.”
In response, Jin Ling tried to punch him, but Lan Jingyi avoided his fist. He only did so because Jin Ling hadn’t been serious about hitting him. And that wasn’t at all because Lan Jingyi’s words had comforted him a little, but only because they were in a Night Hunt, and those things were too serious to fight among themselves.
As he stepped alone into the forest, Jin Ling paid attention to everything around him, taking note of every shadow, every sound. But before very long, he became distracted by thoughts of Wen Yuan. How were things going for him? Was Lan Wangji nice to him? What if he’d encountered the monk? What if he was hurt?
Every time he caught his mind drifting, Jin Ling scolded himself and forced it back to what was happening around him. So little was happening, though, that he always ended up thinking of Wen Yuan again. Jin Ling was so glad that Lan Jingyi had gotten a good impression of his husband, because Lan Jingyi almost never liked anyone. And Lan Wangji too had been positively impressed, it seemed, which he would certainly tell his brother and sect leader. It was a little strange that Lan Wangji had tried to mention a previous meeting with Wen Yuan, and there had been his odd remark about leaving Yiling, but overall this was all going very well so far, and…
Nearby sounds startled Jin Ling out of that train of thought. There were cracking sounds, like fallen branches being stepped on, and, if he paid careful attention, he could just barely hear a person’s laboured breathing, as if they were unwell, or had been running perhaps. Jin Ling’s hand automatically moved to grasp his sword, but he stopped himself. He was supposed to be only a wandering peasant, he couldn’t draw his weapon until it was absolutely necessary, or the ghost monk would get suspicious. Besides, it might just have been Lan Jingyi, either playing a prank on him or having gotten spooked again at the idea of a ghost.
Jin Ling slowly turned toward the source of those sounds.
It was not Lan Jingyi he found in front of him, but that dishevelled and beaten monk others had described.
At a glance, Jin Ling could tell that the monk was not a ghost. He wished it had been. Because if it was a living man who had caused so many problems, then this case had just become something a few juniors should not have been involved with.
