Midnight Pals: Spicy
JD Barker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the bad app JD Barker: it's a spicy story about an app that you download on your phone JD Barker: but this app JD Barker: is a little JD Barker: spicy
JD Barker: boy let me tell you JD Barker: it's tough to get word out about a new book these days King: tell me about it! King: i keep posting but nothing's making a dent! King: there's got to be a better way! JD Barker: there is!
JD Barker: i've got a fool proof way to generate publicity for a book King: oh? well, don't just stand there -- tell us! JD Barker: ok, you guys ready for this? JD Barker: might want to get a pen ready to write this down JD Barker: cuz this is gonna be JD Barker: a little spicy
Clive Barker: hey before you say anything, i just wanna remind everyone i am a different person Clive Barker: just really feelin' the need to get out in front and say that
JD Barker: so here's my idea JD Barker: you get booktok influencers to take off their clothes King: Poe: Lovecraft: Clive Barker: Koontz: JD Barker: cuz this book is SPICY!
Koontz: [writing down] "you get booktok influ-" Poe: no no dean Poe: don't write that down Koontz: but he said Poe: it's ok dean just shh Poe: don't worry about it
Angela Carter: you're going to -- !!! Carter: wow Carter: of all the blatantly misogynistic Carter: exploitative JD Barker: [tugging collar] uh oh! Carter: predatory Carter: sexist JD Barker: [tugging intensifies]
JD Barker: or you could get them to do a video answering the question "what's the craziest place you ever had sex?" JD Barker: any questions? Mary Shelley: hey i got SEVERAL fuckin questions JD Barker: [tugging collar] uh oh! Shelley: you say you're paying for this? Angela Carter: mary, no Shelley: shut up this is easy money
JD Barker: oh yeah, we're gonna pay the big bucks to get spicy JD Barker: like, maybe $100 Mary Shelley: oh fuck off
JD Barker: wow listen turns out there's been a little mistake JD Barker: a real whoopsie doodle JD Barker: you're gonna laugh Carter: yeah? try me JD Barker: ha ha JD Barker: [tugging collar] ohhh
JD Barker: this was all just a misunderstanding JD Barker: see, this wasn't my idea JD Barker: it was the PR firm i hired Carter: then guess i need to talk to the head of that firm JD Barker: [collar tugging intensifies]
JD Barker: [wearing hot dog suit] look we're all just trying to find out who did this
