Now that Cub has been turned back into a strapping young 20-something, his good friend Scar has decided to keep an eye on him, just to be sure there’s no ill-effects from this magical mishap.
The sight had been a shock to behold, that’s for certain. The old, balding, gray haired man that Scar had come to know as Cub seemingly overnight had reverted himself to a spry and fit 20-something, with seemingly no side effects. Now, the two were both old enough to know that all magic comes at a cost, so it seemed prudent to have Scar stay a few nights after his potions were complete just to be sure nothing strange came of this newfound youth serum Cub had created by accident. He was doing this “as a favor to a friend, for certain” he thought, as he watched the younger looking man toiling over his broiling potions, pulling his shirt up to wipe some sweat from his brow. “As any friend would, certainly.” He thought, his eyes skimming downward.
Over the course of a day or two, Scar had begun to notice some side effects to this de-aging. First and foremost, Cub had once again regained his youthful stamina, and was prone to staying up later than he should and somehow getting up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. Secondly, and far more concerningly, Cub had reverted to the same devil-may-care sense of invulnerability and impulsiveness that youth is known for. Scar had barely managed to contain a blast by transporting an entire brewing apparatus out the window at nearly 4 in the morning, having come downstairs just to ask what the god-awful smell was.
“Thanks for the save, Scar” Cub said, downing a cup that contained whatever the source of the pungent smell was. Scar was still catching his breath, wide eyed, staring out into the yard as a giant oak toppled over, its base blown completely apart by whatever apparatus Cub had formerly been using.
“What on EARTH?-” Scar started. “-Oh! I was trying to replicate my youth serum, but see if I could make it into one that gave the drinker just the pure energy of youth,” Cub continued, speaking quickly, “I got the idea after making this-” he motioned to the sludge in his coffee mug, “-delectable little drink I just made up.” Scar looked from the tree, to Cub, to the mug, to the tree, then back to Cub, then back to the mug. Cub smiled. Scar grabbed the mug and took a swig.
“This tastes like coffee that’s been to the nether, eaten by a piglin, and spat back out.” He took another swig. “It doesn’t get better.” Cub nodded, noting the review.
“But it works” Cub said, the obvious effect of his coffee/mana/energy/affront to the senses sludge making him entirely too energetic for this hour of the night.
Scar took one more looooong swig of the truly disgusting concoction. “It really does.” The two men, now wide awake and entirely too full of life, took one look at each other and had the same exact thought.
------
It was probably mid-day when Scar finally managed to get out of his bed again, the hangover threatening to split his head open like an overdone boiled egg. Light had begun to stream in from the slit in the curtains. Cub stirred beneath the sheets, moving the pillow down around his head. Scar looked around, ascertaining from the haphazard scattering of clothing and empty bottles a rough approximation of what the idea was that he and Cub had simultaneously had. He peeked under the covers, and was pleased to find his guess was correct. He was also pleased to find that his pants were within reach, as he was not of a mind to move around too much just yet. Cub muttered something. “What did you say?” Scar asked.
An ear splitting whinny tore through from the outside. Scar quite literally jumped out of his pants.
“We forgot to feed the horse” Cub muttered, sitting up from under the covers. Scar, from his newfound place on the floor, was caught between cursing his drink-addled brain for the hangover and cursing his drink-addled brain for not remembering the night before, the latter especially so as Cub stood and walked to the window.
He pulled a handful of fancy stones from a pocket dimension, and handed it to the vexes. “This goes to whichever one of you can feed the horse first” The vexes snatched the gems from his hand and flew off.
“I could have sworn I fed my mule before we-” Scar was halfway through his thought, “Wait, who’s horse is that?” Cub waved his hand, gesturing that it was his. “When did you get a horse?” Scar asked. Cub thought for a moment, pulling a shirt on. Scar could see the wheels turning, until finally a thought struck him.
“I got it yesterday” he said, his face going a little pale. Scar nodded.
“From the Moss Goblin” he said, looking at Scar. Scar looked a little pale.
“Who’s horse is that?” they both asked, going to look out the window. The blinding lights were almost too much, but it was Scar that recognized it first. He took Cub by the shoulders.
“That’s Adequate” he said, pointing to the horse. Cub nodded.
“Tango, the master huntsman’s horse, Adequate.” He said. Cub looked at Adequate, then at Scar.
“Ah” Cub said. “Then there’s only one thing we should do…” Scar listened with rapt attention. Cubfan was a man who had survived a great deal in his long life, and had the expertise and wherewithal to match. Surely, he had a plan to get them both out of this situation. “…we should burn the evidence.” Cub said, making a spark of fire magic on his fingers.
It took them a minute to both get dressed and ready to go, Cub still rubbing his hand after Scar slapped the magic clean out of it. “I’m too old for this nonsense” Cub bemoaned.
“You and I are about the same age now” Scar said, “and we need to get that horse back before the both of us wind up mounted onto iCandy’s wall.” Cub stretched, cracking his back like a glowstick.
“Alright, alright fine.” Cub said, “But I’m riding up front. I’m old enough to appreciate a beauty like that now, and I fully intend to have my fun now that I’m young enough to enjoy it-“ he continued, strapping his coin bag to his belt with an audible clinking of gold, “-and rich enough to afford it.” Scar couldn’t argue with that logic, and followed him downstairs. The duo picked up some medicinal potions on their way out, and headed back to the town to track down the goblin Moss King.
ELSEWHERE….
Tango swore up and down that he would never take a job from that blasted, hunched creature ever again, no matter how much gold he promised. “Clear out the old abandoned castle, he says-” Tango muttered to himself, knocking another arrow and firing it directly into the face of a skeleton, “Its filled to the brim with gold, he says-” Tango rushed to the edge of a minecart, pushing it off and racing down the abandoned shaft, cleaving monster after monster in two as they chased after him. “I’ll watch your horse, he says! Then poof! Gone!” Tango could barely contain the fury in his words, “Now I’m stuck here in this damn castle in the middle of the day, clearing out hordes of monsters while that plant-encrusted goblin is running off to who-knows-where with my adequate!” A spider the size of a dog dropped from the ceiling as the minecart came to a crash, breaking down the sealed door that stood between the mineshaft and the castle interior. A few quick swings of his swords, and Tango was inside.
Earlier that day, a sad little creature had made its way into iCandy, and shambled up to Tango. He held out a bag of coins, and told Tango the saddest tale he’d ever heard. It was a story about a kingdom, fallen from glory, overridden by monsters that drove out the king and his people. The old king lay on his death bed, knowing his kingdom would never be his again, wished only to have the flag that still hung from his castle parapet to lay over his coffin once he was departed. The goblin, once saved by this king, had scrounged up all the gold he could, to hire a master huntsman like Tango to go and get the flag for his beloved king. His voice sounded so solemn, so pained….
How could Tango say no to that? The little creature sounded so distraught, so genuinely anguished at the thought. He should have known better than to trust a goblin. Impulse was off buying supplies for iCandy, and the little shit had approached him when no one else was around. How did Tango not see that that was a trick? In his fury, Tango bit down hard on a ghoul, ripping its throat out and filling his mouth with disgusting, rotting blood. He barely managed to swallow the blood down, the ghoul falling to the floor, as he raced through the corridors of the crumbling castle.
“When I get back, that damn goblin is as good as dead.” Tango bellowed, jumping up to the remains of an upper stairwell with his newfound strength. The fighting had begun to take a toll on him, and even the most rank, rotten blood was able to give him the boost he needed. “First he promises mines filled to the brim with treasures-“ Tango slashed his sword, knocking two skeletons off the stairwell, “-which I CAN HAVE if I go through and clear the mines-” Tango body slammed a ghoul, shoving it out of the way, “-all so that slimy little creature can steal my horse!” At the peak of the stairs, a witch was cleaved in two by the dual blades that lashed out from the furious vampire. “I’ll get you that damn flag, Bdubs. I’ll fucking bury you in it.”
-----------
Scar rubbed his temples as Impulse poured him and Cub a glass of water. Cub had been explaining the situation as best he could, given the number of holes in their collective memory. Scar took a tentative sip of the ice-cold water, the pain in his head slowly dissolving with the medicinal potions and hydration.
“So let me get this straight”, Impulse said, “You bought Tango’s horse…” Cub nodded.
“…from the Moss King, the goblin…” Cub nodded.
“…and you don’t know where he went.” Cub nodded again.
“…or if Tango actually did sell his beloved Adequate to the goblin?” Impulse finished asking, raising an eyebrow. Cub thought for a moment, then nodded solemnly. Adequate whinnied outside. Impulse rubbed the bridge of his nose, then offered a smile. “Well, at least you brought Adequate back. Tango will be thrilled to know, once he returns.” Scar and Cub looked at each other.
“Back from where?” they asked.
Impulse looked at them, his brow furrowing “I thought you might know.” He leaned onto the bar, closer to the two men, “You were the last two he was seen with.” His smile was sweet, but the owner of iCandy could present a very intimidating figure when he wanted to.
Scar and Cub looked at Impulse, then back to each other, then back to Impulse. Scar swallowed hard.
-------------
Tango was having a great deal of trouble finding footing in the high tower. The stone was crumbling, decrepit, and in desperate need of repair to say the least. He also was having to dodge the harsh midday rays of sun streaming in through the broken glass windows. He’d stopped on a particularly sturdy feeling balcony, nursing the cuts and scratches he’d gotten in the mines. He swore under his breath that he’d make sure that goblin died a slow and painful death the second he got that damn flag. Bracing himself, Tango wrapped his cloak around himself and dove forward.
The goblin had dragged him from iCandy in the early hours of the morning, after iCandy had closed for the night. The two had ridden to the outskirts of town, “Beware the mines,” the goblin had been saying “they’re full of tricks and traps and terrors.” Tango looked down at the goblin that shook in its boots at the mere description of what Tango was walking into.
“Don’t worry little guy,” he said, “I’m sure I can clear those monsters easily enough.” Adequate plodded under their feet, and a thought struck Tango. “How far is it to the mineshaft?”
The Moss King thought for a moment, then held up a map and a compass. “It’s far, but not far. We could make it on foot, yes, but it should be quick work with your beautiful horse here.” Tango patted Adequate.
“Maybe we finish the rest of the trip on foot, hmm?” Tango said, pulling Adequate to a stop. The Moss King looked confused. “I don’t want my precious horse to get hurt, besides….” Tango added, hopping off and holding the reigns, “I don’t think she’d fit in the mineshafts anyways.” The Moss King thought long and hard, then nodded with a heavy sigh. He hopped off the horse with ease, and took the reins from Tango. Tango looked at the goblin quizzically.
“Don’t worry, brave hero! You go on ahead. I will catch up. I will find us a good place to keep this beauty here” the goblin said, petting Adequate. The horse seemed to like the little goblin, and hadn’t bucked once while they were riding. Tango trusted the Moss King a little more, since he seemed to have the approval of his beloved horse.
“Alright, but don’t take too long. I’ll need that map and compass.” Tango held out a hand, as the Moss King deposited the items, “I can’t stay out during the day, for obvious reasons” he said, baring his fangs. The Moss King yelped and backed up a bit, nodding, “I understand, I understand! I’ll take care of this, you go! You go get the flags before it’s too late!” Tango nodded, and took off at a jog. He could make quite a pace now that he was a vampire, and while he didn’t much appreciate what he had to do to get these powers, it was nice to have these little advantages on a hunt like this one. He ducked off of the path not long after, having spotted two drunken revelers ambling down the path. The last thing he needed was two of the locals starting stories about a vampire charging right at them.
…meanwhile…
The Moss King was left standing in the road, holding onto the reins of a beautiful horse. Soon, he would be back to normal again. Soon…
He stroked the horse, and cooed at it. He would have to find a place to keep this beauty for now. He didn’t blame the hunter, not wanting to risk this fine specimen. A fiery red mustang was a hard horse to come by, even in his glory days! The goblin snickered to himself. It had been a long time since he’d been riding a horse, and it made him all the giddier to think that soon, he would be able to do so again.
His thoughts were interrupted by the off-key singing of two young men, quite attractive ones at that, ambling down the road in his direction. “What luck!” the Moss King thought, “I can pay these two to bring this horse to the stables! Surely, they will need the money. They look like they’ve spent all they had on liquor already!” He ambled over to the two of them, making sure to cover his hideous frame. Soon, soon he would stand tall again.
“Tha----aaaaattss a beauty!!!” Cub said, wobbling over to Adequate. “Ialhwayyyss wannnedd a mustanggg” he slurred. Scar teetered, laughing.
“You’vwhaanned that typpa horse since you were ffffourryy.” He giggled. He patted the horse.
The Moss King opened his mouth, ready to ask the two drunken youths if they could keep an eye on this beauty for him. To his horror, the curse took over.
“Fourty gold pieces for the beauty” the Moss King said, “A gold for every year you’ve wanted this beast.”
Curses. Curse his curse and curse him for letting himself be cursed so long ago. The Moss King swore to himself that he’d make things right, just as soon as the curse was lifted. The two boys were giddy with excitement, and readily paid. The Moss King’s curse forced him to take the payment, the gold glittering in his eyes. He was wholly overcome by greed, as the curse had long afflicted him so.
“Thankssomuch Mossman!” Cub said, hopping on.
“Whattta steal!” Scar said, snickering. The two rode off into town, joyous.
The Moss King hung his head low, and with his ill-gotten gains went to follow the huntsman. “Soon,” he thought to himself, “Soon…”
------
Tango lunged to the top of the tower. He was so close. He could see the flag billowing in the breeze. “You’ll have your horse and your gold once I have that flag!” the Moss King had said, his eyes glowing a sickening green as he locked the mineshaft behind Tango. Those words rang in his ears, driving him on. It had been hours since he’d started this hunt, and he was so close. He was so close.
The sun glittered off the flag mast, and Tango winced. He would have to jump for it.
----
“I REMEMBER NOW!” Scar said, pinned to the wall. Impulse was not one to lose his temper, but Cub had managed to talk him down after what Scar had said. Something about the recklessness of youth, he’d said.
“Good!” Impulse said with a grin that was beginning to look less than friendly. “Do tell me what happened after the Moss King LOCKED TANGO IN A MINESHAFT.” Scar nodded, tapping the hand that held him a good foot off the ground by his lapel.
“The goblin saw us and ran.” Scar said, “Towards the old king’s castle. He sounded very distraught.” Impulse lowered the sorcerer, and started to walk for the door. “We did catch up to him-” Scar said. Impulse whirled around and glowered, as if to say ‘continue’. Cub swallowed hard.
“We did. We caught that sneaky little bastard, and gave him what for.” Cub said, feigning putting his fists up. Impulse was avidly listening. “He said he’d hired Tango to clear out the mineshaft, and to get the flag from the mast for his king.” Impulse nodded, then grabbed both men by their shirts.
“Sounds like we know where your goblin friend has gone off to.” Impulse said with a sickening sweetness that spelled trouble for the hungover duo, “Let’s go make sure Tango is alright.”
----
The Moss King stood at the base of the castle. He had long tried to climb those steps, to defeat the monsters within and claim that flag, to no avail. In his current disheveled form, it didn’t matter how many times he made it to the peak. He could not reach the flag. The words rung out in his mind: “If you can find someone willing to help you by your 25th birthday, to drape the flag of your fallen kingdom over your shoulders before nightfall,” the man of the Hills had said, “then you will be released from your avarice, and from the form it gives you.”
“Soon,” the goblin said to himself, “Soon, I will be free of this curse.” He wrung his hands nervously. If anyone could do it, it was the famed hunter, Tango. He would give all the wealth in the world just to be able to stand up, human once more. His hope rose in his chest and stuck in his throat as he saw a cloaked figure rise to the top. He’d made it!
The figure winced in the sun. Oh, all hope was slowly draining from the poor figure of the former king. Tango was a vampire. He couldn’t go out in the midday sun. If his goblin eyes could cry, he would weep. Today was the final day. There would be no other. He looked up. The figure would surely end his suffering once he escaped that death trap that once was his home. He looked up, and to his amazement, he saw as the vampire leapt, and the flag fell.
----
Tango hissed as his skin burned from the slightest touch of the sun “I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill that slimy little bastard. I’m going to wring his tiny little moss-encrusted neck. I swear it. I’m going to kill him, raise him from the dead, and kill him again, for fun” he muttered, clasping at the flag that he’d somehow managed to get. He managed to catch his breath, the pain still fresh and his ears still ringing from the stress. The castle was quiet, somehow. He breathed in, he breathed out slowly.
Wait, the castle was quiet now.
Tango’s guard was back up again immediately. This place had been crawling with monsters just before. Where did they go? He made his way cautiously back down. The steps seemed more firm, and the shattered glass seemed to have been swept away. There was magic in the air, and it hung on his tongue as he breathed.
What was happening?
----
Scar, Cub and Impulse came upon a most curious scene. The goblin king was jumping up and down, hooting and hollering, singing and dancing. They’d never seen such a joyous sight. It was the Moss King, to be certain, but they’d never seen the goblin like this. They approached, and the goblin made eye contact. He saw them. They saw him. They both paused for a moment, before the goblin took off at full speed into the castle, a sorcerer, alchemist, and jinn hot on his tail.
He burst through the doors of the castle, as easily as if they’d never been locked. Impulse stood back from the door, and Scar caught Cub before he stumbled in. The air was drenched in magic. Whatever was going on here, it was a strong and old magic. “Did someone…. Was this place cursed?” Impulse asked, under his breath. The goblin ran to the base of the stairs, frantically looking up for something. He seemed to begin looking even more frantically, having not found whatever it was he was looking for.
“Don’t go in there!” Scar said, holding Cub back.
“I know, I can tell too.” He responded. There was something in the air, thicker than humidity. Whatever magic was in this place had come to life, sprung out, and who knows what it could do.
Impulse gasped, “Tango!”
“I GOT YOU!!” Tango yelled, jumping the goblin as he frantically skittered about. He wrapped him in the flag like a net, and seemed to be trying to smother him.
“TANGO!” Impulse yelled, “Are you alright? What’s going on?” He took a step forward, and in a flash the castle seemed to exhale. Dust and webs and a litany of debris seemed to billow out of the old structure, clouding the sight of those at the entrance. “TANGO!!” Impulse yelled, diving in.
Scar heard the telltale smash of a glass bottle, as a barrier formed around him and Cub. The wind soon died down, and the view into the castle was clear. Impulse had pulled Tango off of the goblin, which Tango seemed non the happier for. There was a lump on the floor, entangled in the tattered remains of the flag that once stood atop the structure.
“Let go of me Impulse!” Tango struggled, “That little bastard deserves it!”
“Tango, you’re burned. Please! Some kind of magic is going on here-“ Impulse pleaded.
“I know! I know, and that little rat bastard is at the heart of it all! Let me at him!!” Tango bellowed.
Slowly, the tattered flag rustled as the Moss King began to stand up. What was once a very small figure seemed to grow, standing taller, until before the group stood a man, clad only in a moss cloak and a dark crown. He had bright eyes, dark hair, and…. Scar rubbed the dirt from his eyes… and he was quite handsome to look at. Scar looked at Cub, and Cub looked at him. It seems they both had noticed.
The… Moss King?.... The man looked down at his hands, and smiled brightly. He ran over, and practically tackled Tango in a hug.
“Thank you! Thank you brave warrior! You’ve freed me and my castle from this curse!!” he beamed. This was in fact the Moss King, but the voice that came from him was booming, giddy, and wholly human sounding. Tango winced, and Impulse pulled the man off of him.
“Tango, are you alright?” Impulse asked, wrapping the vampire in healing magic as best he could.
“….Bdubs?” Tango asked tentatively, looking the man standing before him up and down.
“Wait,” Cub said, “Bdubs? As in, King Bdubs? The guy that got cursed for his greed and lost his kingdom overnight?”
“That’s what happened here?” Scar asked. Cub nodded.
“Happened a while ago, I hadn’t heard what became of him afterwards. Guess we know now.” Cub shrugged.
The man nodded solemnly. “I was cursed by the man of the Hills for my avarice, and was bound to the form of a goblin unless someone gave my flag back to me” he said, “For that, Tango, I owe you a great debt. Please, let me know what I can do for you. Anything! Anything at all!”
Tango wriggled from Impulse’s hands, and grabbed the man by his mossy cloak “GIVE ME BACK MY HORSE” Tango bellowed.
The man blinked, his big bright eyes slowly realizing. “Oh! Of course! One second!” he pulled out the satchel of coins he’d taken from the men earlier. “HELLO young men! May I buy back that horse? I’m afraid it was not mine to sell!”
“YOU SOLD MY HORSE??” Tango yelled
“Sure thing buddy.” Cub said, coming back and getting the gold coins. “The horse is at the stables back at iCandy.” Cub counted the gold, ignoring the vampire nearly strangling the newly-renewed human.
Scar looked on at the great deal of commotion going on inside the castle, somewhat stuck in place until Cub’s arm locked into his and pulled him away.
“And now, we take our leave!” Cub whispered. Scar nodded, and followed stealthily while the tavern keeper, the vampire, and the moss king were heatedly discussing the ins and outs of how Tango was going to kill the king, who was avidly thanking him, all while Impulse was trying desperately to calm them both down.
It was a long walk back to Cubs place, and the sun was starting to set as they reached the door, utterly exhausted. Scar collapsed onto the nearby couch, as Cub closed the door behind him.
“Now THAT’S what I call a PARTY!” Cub said, “Ahh, its good to be young again.”
A special dedication to
@opalwhisker AO3
@mojo-chojo
@brac-a-bric
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
One moment Tango was drinking Impulse's blood. His boyfriend who happened to own a bar and be a jinn. And the next he hit a far wall as Impulse yelled "Skizz!" That was quite random and Tango never heard him say it but as he blinked the shock of the impact away - he might have been a monster hunter retired to be a vampire but it still hurt, he saw a strange man. A man who dressed suspiciously similarly to Impulse.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Inspired by the amazing spicy chicken AU created by the fabulous:
@mojo-chojo
@opalwhisker
@brac-a-bric
Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: impulseSV/TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF)
Characters: impulseSV (Video Blogging RPF), TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF), Skizzleman (Video Blogging RPF), Kris | ZedaphPlays
Additional Tags: Anal Sex, Biting, Bruises, Face-Sitting, Rimming, Aftercare, Thighs, spicy chicken au, Anal Fingering, Vampire Tango, jinn Impulse, Skizz is barely in this, just to make fun of Tango, Zedaph is also here just to make fun of Tango, MC personas only! Please don't ship real people, Mentioned mumbo scar and grian
Summary:
Tango thinks about how Impulse has displayed his love for..certain features.
