Gojo who fucks you in outrageous positions just to be petty.
(This is short as shit)
“O-oh fuck—“ Your nails dragged down his back. Your muscles aching but the pleasure was just too good.
“You can take it-, fuck, don’t run from it.” He had that annoyingly sexy grin on his face. Knowing damn well there was no possible way you could run from his cock.
He had you pressed against the wall, leg straight up, and ankle by his head, while you balanced on one foot and leaned against the wall. He’d called it the ‘lustful leg’.
Gojo had an arm wrapped around your thigh, and the other on your hip as he slammed in and out of you. This position, thank god for your flexibility, had him going so much deeper. Way too deep at first because you swore he was in your guts.
And that wasn’t just the only position. Because immediately after this bastard busts a load inside you, he is hoisting you up. The back of your thighs are flush against his chest, and his hands have a bruising grip on your ass as he once again bullies his cock inside you.
This wasn’t just sex. No this was a fucking work out. Suicides runs couldn’t wear you out as much as these damn positions.
“So, what if we try the ‘socket’?” Gojo looked at you with an eager grin but you just flipped him off.
Your body ached but at the same time felt so damn good. You finally let it melt into the mattress with a groan as your spine decompressed.
“What book did you buy?” You pulled your face out of the pillow and glared at him.
in which your boyfriends spoil you for christmas... or so they think
includes: gojo, choso, toji, geto and sukuna
warnings: pure crack, swear words, mdni +18, suggestive language
GOJO
CHOSO
TOJI
GETO
SUKUNA
a.n: i was just feeling silly and wanted to post something christmas related cuz this christmas hasn't been feeling like it at all for me, merry xmas to u all <3
Idk js thought this would be funny 😭 I scrolled for so long to find some that matched the personalities, ive seem other people and thought id drabble a lil and maybe change a bit of the way some of the texts were to fit the characters more 🫡
you’ve been doing porn for years. long enough that comments don’t bother you anymore. people call you everything under the sun online. whore, attention seeker, homewrecker, whatever. half the time it’s from people who have your videos bookmarked anyway.
so yeah. backlash doesn’t really hit you anymore. comments? whatever. random podcasts talking about you? fine. people pretending they’re morally better than you while still watching your videos? hilarious.
but a diss track? that’s new.
you and gojo are sprawled across the couch when you first watch it. he’s got one arm thrown over the backrest and his legs stretched out like a cat. your laptop is balanced on your thighs.
“someone dropped a song about me,” you say.
“about you?” he leans over immediately, interested. “oh this i gotta hear.”
you press play, the beat starts. immediately aggressive. it’s actually kinda decent. but then the lyrics kick in and you blink slowly.
they’re talking about you. very directly.
your job, your videos, your body, some random dude you filmed with last year. one line about how “everyone’s seen her before breakfast.”
gojo leans back on the couch, one arm behind his head, listening like it’s the funniest thing he’s heard all week.
“they’re so mad,” he wheezes. “they actually sat down and wrote this.”
you shove his shoulder. “be supportive.”
“i am supportive,” he says immediately. “i’m on your side.”
the song keeps playing. more insults. more jokes about your job. one line about how “even google knows what she looks like naked.”
by the end of it gojo is fully invested, like he’s reviewing music. “okay wait,” he says, sitting up. “play the chorus again.”
you glare at him but rewind the hook. gojo hums along with the rhythm.
“you’re enjoying this way too much.”
he leans over and kisses the side of your head like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “i just don’t care. pornstar pussy is the best,” he says so casually.
you choke. “you can’t just say that.”
“i just did.”
you roll your eyes but close the laptop. whatever. it’s dumb. that’s what you tell yourself. and honestly you mostly forget about it.
until a few days later. you climb into the passenger seat of gojo’s car while he’s messing with the screen.
“hold on,” he says. “connecting my phone.”
the bluetooth links, music starts playing.
you both freeze.
the diss track. the exact same beat fills the car speakers. the exact same opening line.
you slowly turn your head, gojo slowly turns his head and you’re staring at each other for a full five seconds of silence.
then he shrugs.
“you can’t lie,” he says. “it’s catchy.”
you sigh. “…yeah.” it really is.
and ten seconds later you both start laughing.
ɢᴇᴛᴏ ꜱᴜɢᴜʀᴜ
you’re laying on the couch scrolling through your phone when suguru walks into the room. he looks irritated. not angry. just… tired in a very specific way.
his phone is still in his hand, screen dark now, and he exhales slowly like he just finished a conversation that required more patience than he wanted to give.
you glance up at him. “…what happened?”
suguru looks at you for a second. then he walks over and drops onto the couch beside you. “satoru just called me.”
you laugh immediately. “that explains the face.”
he rubs the side of his temple. “…he told me to look something up.”
your stomach drops a little. “…oh no.”
suguru lifts one eyebrow. ”yes. oh no.”
you sit up slightly. “what did he send you.”
suguru unlocks his phone again and turns the screen toward you. your name in the title, very clearly, attached to a video.
you immediately groan. “satoru is so messy.”
suguru presses play. the beat drops.
he leans back into the couch like he’s settling in to watch something educational.
you watch his face carefully as the first verse starts dragging you through the mud. your job, your life, how much toes you suck, the usual dramatic nonsense.
suguru listens quietly for about twenty seconds. then he tilts his head, “…hm.”
you point at him. “don’t do that.”
“do what?”
“that thinking noise.”
he ignores you. the chorus hits. your name again, another insult. suguru sighs softly through his nose. “…that line didn’t even rhyme.”
you choke. “suguru.”
he glances at you. “what?”
“you’re critiquing the diss track.”
“if they’re going to insult you, they could at least do it well.”
you stare at him. “that is not the takeaway here.”
he keeps watching the video. very calm, very focused. halfway through the second verse he pauses it. “that’s lazy writing.”
you lean back into the couch. “i cannot believe satoru sent this to you.”
suguru hums quietly. “…he seemed very entertained.”
“of course he was.”
suguru sets the phone down on his knee.
silence, his face studies you now, expression softening slightly. “…are you hurt by this?”
you shrug. “not really, i’ve heard worse.”
he nods slowly. then leans back further into the couch. “…good.”
“good?”
he folds one arm along the back of the couch behind you. “because if that actually upset you, i’d probably have to meet them.”
you squint at him. “that sounded threatening.”
he smiles calmly. “did it?”
“yes.”
“interesting.”
you grab your phone again and scroll through the comments. “…people are arguing about it.”
suguru glances over. “are they defending you?”
“some of them. others think it’s funny.”
he exhales through his nose again. “…it wasn’t even that funny.”
you laugh quietly. “you’re aking this so personally.”
“am i?”
“yes.”
suguru glances down at his phone again.
“…satoru told me the chorus was catchy.”
you immediately point at him. “don’t say that.”
“i didn’t say it.”
“don’t agree with it either.”
he pauses, thinking carefully. “…it is a little catchy.”
you gasp. “suguru.”
“i’m just being honest.”
“you cannot enjoy the diss track about me.”
“i’m not enjoying it.”
“you said it was catchy.”
“those are two different things.”
you stare at him in disbelief. “…you’re unbelievable.”
he picks up his phone again. “…but i do need to call satoru back.”
you squint at him. “why?”
“to tell him the song was badly written.”
ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ
you show sukuna the diss track because you think he’ll find it funny.
you don’t realize just how funny he’s going to find it. the moment the first insult hits, he leans back in the chair and starts laughing.
not a small laugh, not a chuckle. full on laughing.
but not the kind of laugh someone does when something is actually funny. it’s sharp. mocking. the kind of laugh that makes it very clear he thinks the entire situation is pathetic.
“that’s it?” he says.
you stare at him. “…what do you mean that’s it?”
he tilts his head slightly, still smirking. “that’s the best they could do?”
you scoff. “they wrote a whole diss track about me.”
“exactly,” he says, like that proves his point.
you look down at your phone again, replaying the chorus in your head whether you want to or not. the comments are already climbing. people quoting the lyrics, arguing, laughing.
and then, unfortunately, the whole situation finally hits you.
because yeah, you’re used to criticism. but hearing someone rap about your life in front of your boyfriend while he laughs like he’s at a comedy show? that part kinda sucks.
it stings a little.
sukuna notices, of course he does. he notices everything.
your eyes are starting to water before you can stop it, and you wipe your face quickly, hoping he didn’t see.
“…don’t start that,” he says flatly.
you glare at him. “i’m not starting anything.”
“you’re about to cry.”
“no i’m not.” you look away, silence sits in the room for a second.
then he suddenly pushes himself off the chair and walks over, stopping right in front of you. he grabs your chin and tilts your face up so you have to look at him.
his eyes are sharp. amused. “you’re crying over that?”
you smack his hand away. “i’m not crying over it.”
“then why do you look miserable?”
you open your mouth, but you pause, “…because it’s annoying.”
sukuna snorts, “annoying?”
“yes.”
he sits down beside you on the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. then he grabs your phone out of your hand and looks at the screen.
the diss track thumbnail stares back at him. he scoffs “pathetic.”
“wow, thank you for the comfort.”
“not you,” he says lazily, nodding toward your phone. “him.”
you blink.” what?”
he gestures vaguely toward the device. “imagine writing an entire song because you’re mad someone else gets more attention than you.”
you hesitate. “…so you think he’s jealous?”
“obviously.”
he clicks his tongue quietly. “if it bothers you that much,” he says lazily, “i can find him.”
you look at him. “…find him?”
“yes.” he says it like he’s offering to run an errand. “i’ll ask him to repeat those lyrics to your face. if he can’t, i’ll kill him.”
you stare at him. “that’s not necessary.”
he shrugs, disappointed, “waste of an opportunity.”
you grab your phone again, muttering. “it’s just a stupid song.”
sukuna watches you for a moment. then he leans back against the wall again. “…if you’re going to cry every time some idiot talks about you,” he says, “you picked the wrong career.”
sukuna picks up your phone again and taps the screen, “play it again.”
“why??”
“it’s funny.”
ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ
you show the diss track to toji while he’s sitting on the couch counting cash.
“someone made a diss track about me.”
he doesn’t even look up yet. “congrats.”
“no seriously.” you press play and the beat starts.
toji is the worst person to watch the diss track with. because the entire time he’s grinning like someone just handed him free entertainment.
thirty seconds in— he starts laughing. not loudly, just a low amused chuckle. “wow.”
you glare at him. “that’s the reaction i get?”
he leans back into the couch, arms spread along the cushions. “you’re famous enough to have people writing songs about you.”
“that’s not comforting.”
he shrugs. “it should be.”
you cross your arms. “he said i play with balls like fifa.”
“that one was kinda funny.”
“TOJI.”
he laughs again. “you know what the funny part is?”
“what?”
“those dumbasses are only gonna make you more popular.”
you roll your eyes. “yup, sure”
then he points to the tv. “check the comments.”
you scroll and there’s thousands of comments. people arguing, people defending you, people quoting the lyrics.
some people even asking for your name.
toji smirks. “see? “people who didn’t know you before? now they’re curious.
you scroll again and unfortunately… he’s right. half the comments are people saying things like wait who is she or anyone got her name?
toji snorts, leaning back against the couch, grinning, “congratulations.”
you groan. “i hate the internet.”
he leans forward, grabbing the remote “nah.” he presses replay, “let’s listen again.”
ᴄʜᴏꜱᴏ ᴋᴀᴍᴏ
you’re sitting on the couch scrolling through your phone when he walks in from the kitchen holding a glass of water. his hair is tied up like usual, loose strands falling around his face. he sits beside you quietly, close enough that your shoulders brush.
he notices the video playing on your phone. “…what are you watching.”
you glance at him. “nothing important.”
he looks at the screen again. a few lyrics from the diss track play through your speakers.
choso’s brows slowly pull together. “…are they talking about you.”
you sigh a little. “yeah.”
he doesn’t say anything right away.
he just leans closer, eyes focused on the screen while the video keeps playing. his shoulder presses lightly against yours while he watches, his expression getting more confused the longer it goes on.
the chorus hits.
your name is said again. another insult.
another line about your job.
you glance sideways at him. choso’s staring at the screen like someone just insulted a member of his family. “…why are they saying that about you.”
you shrug. “it’s a diss track.”
“…a what?”
“like a song where someone insults someone else.”
he looks genuinely baffled. “…people do that.”
“yeah.”
the video keeps playing and choso listens to the whole thing without interrupting again. his expression slowly shifts from confusion… to something quieter.
not anger exactly. but he clearly doesn’t like it. the video ends and choso is still staring at the phone. “…that was unnecessary,” he says finally.
you shrug again, trying to play it off. “not really.”
“…not really?”
“i mean it’s weird,” you admit. “but people say stuff about me all the time. it kinda comes with the job.”
choso’s gaze drops for a moment. “…i don’t like it. they’re talking about you like you’re something they understand,” he continues quietly. “but they don’t.”
you blink at him. choso doesn’t seem embarrassed saying it either, he just means it.
“…it’s just a dumb song,” you say.
“it’s disrespectful.”
you laugh softly. “i’ve heard worse unfortunately.”
he studies your face for a moment, like he’s trying to figure out if you’re actually okay or just pretending to be.
his hand slowly moves over yours where it’s resting on the couch, lacing with yours automatically. “…you shouldn’t have to hear things like that.”
you squeeze his hand lightly. “people get mad about stuff like that.”
“…your job?”
“yeah.”
choso nods slowly, thinking about it.
his thumb rubs gently against the back of your hand. “…they must not understand you very well.”
you smile faintly. “probably not.”
ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ
you’re sitting at the kitchen table with your phone in your hand when nanami walks in from work. tie loosened. sleeves rolled.
he sets his briefcase down and immediately notices your expression. “something happened.”
you slide the phone across the table. “someone made a diss track about me.”
he raises one eyebrow. “…a diss track?”
“yep.”
he presses play. nanami listens to the entire thing,completely silent, arms folded, face unreadable.
when it ends he calmly slides the phone back. “that person appears deeply unemployed.”
you snort. “right?”
he pours himself a glass of water. “does it bother you?”
you hesitate. “not really.”
he studies you, before you confess, “…a little.”
nanami nods slowly, “i see.”
he sits down across from you. “then my advice is simple.”
you wait, “ignore it.”
you frown. “that’s it?”
“yes.” he takes a sip of water. “people who produce things like this depend on attention. if you refuse to give it to them, it becomes meaningless.”
you lean back in your chair. “…you’re really calm about this.”
“i’ve seen worse behavior from adults in board meetings.”
that actually makes you laugh. nanami watches you for a moment before adding quietly, “for what it’s worth, i think you handle your career with more dignity than most people handle their regular jobs.”
you blink. “…thanks.”
he adjusts his tie. “also the song itself is poorly mixed.”
“oh thank god someone said it.”
ʜɪʀᴏᴍɪ ʜɪɢᴜʀᴜᴍᴀ
you play the diss track for him in his office.
higuruma sits behind his desk, hands folded in front of him, listening with complete focus, like this is evidence in court.
you’re sitting in the chair across from him, already regretting showing it to him.
not one reaction the entire time. when it finishes, he pauses the video. “…interesting.”
you groan, leaning forward. “that’s lawyer talk for bad right?”
he tilts his head slightly. “not necessarily.”
he rewinds to one specific line where they mention your name and make a claim about something you supposedly did. “that statement.”
you blink. “what about it?”
“if it’s false, it could qualify as defamation.”
you stare at him. “you’re analyzing a diss track?”
“yes.” he rewinds another section. “this part as well. implying illegal activity.”
you start laughing. “are you building a case right now.”
“potentially.” he pauses the video again and folds his hands on the table. “would you like to take legal action?”
you blink twice. “…seriously?”
“i’m serious.” he speaks calmly, pulling out his notebook, “public figures still have legal protection against false statements that damage their reputation.”
you stare at him. “…my reputation is already porn.”
“irrelevant.” he adjusts his glasses. “the law still applies.”
you lean back in your chair, trying not to laugh. “so what you’re saying is…”
“yes.”
“we could sue over a diss track?”
“if the claims are provably false, yes.”
you sit there for a second, then you grin “that’s actually hilarious.”
higuruma nods thoughtfully. “it would also be effective.”
“you really want to do this?”
“i dislike sloppy accusations.”
you close your laptop. “…i’m gonna think about it.”
he nods once, completely serious. “take your time.”
five seconds later he adds, “for what it’s worth… the song is poorly written.”
ʏᴜᴊɪ ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ
you show yuji the video while sitting on the floor of your living room. he’s eating his favourite chips.
the song starts and yuji’s face slowly changes, confusion, shock. then absolute disbelief.
“WAIT HOLD ON,” he blurts halfway through the first verse. “they’re talking about you???”
“yes.”
“LIKE YOU YOU??”
“yes.”
he stares at the screen like it personally offended him.
“that’s so mean.”
you shrug. “internet stuff.”
“no that’s messed up.”
the chorus plays again. yuji squints, “…okay but the beat kinda slaps.”
you stare at him.
he freezes. “…i mean the lyrics are terrible though.”
you snort. he scratches the back of his head awkwardly, looking sheepish.
“do you want me to comment something mean under it?”
“like what?”
he thinks really hard. “‘this is cringe.’”
you laugh so hard you nearly fall sideways.
ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ
megumi listens to about fifteen seconds before he sighs. he’s never been the biggest fan of your job but this is too far.
“…turn it off.”
“you didn’t even hear the whole thing.”
“i don’t need to.”
you pause the video. “you’re not curious?”
“no.”
he’s leaning against the counter, arms crossed, looking mildly irritated. “it’s stupid.”
you squint at him. “…are you mad?”
“no.”
“megumi.”
he exhales slowly. “people with nothing going on in their lives love talking about other people.”
you stare at him. “…that was kinda deep.”
“it’s common sense.”
you hit play again.
megumi lasts another ten seconds before rubbing his face. “…why is the beat actually good.”
you grin. “see.”
“don’t say ‘see.’”
ʏᴜᴛᴀ ᴏᴋᴋᴏᴛꜱᴜ
yuta watches the whole thing with growing horror, hands over his mouth, eyes wide.
“this is awful,” he whispers, genuinely stressed.
“it’s not that bad.”
“they’re being really mean to you.”
you shrug. “comes with the job.”
he looks like he might apologize to you personally for society. “they’re insulting you!”
“yuta—”
“and they don’t even know you!” he’s pacing now, looking like he’s about to be sick to his stomach.
“do people do this often??”
“no this is the first diss track.”
“…oh. well, i’m leaving a comment defending you.”
if you can’t tell yet, i love writing doubled spaced for some reason <3 it does backfire on me sometimes though
also pls someone recognize the mia khalifa disstrack slip at toji’s part🙏
