Heyy :)! I have a red dead req- I was wondering if you could make something where reader is the s/o of the members and gets rly overwhelmed? Love ur work!
sorry i haven't responded to reqs at all </3 yes i can do this!! for some reason tumblr won't let me make words different colors ;(
➤contains: arthur morgan, javier escuella. bill williamson, charles smith, john marston
➤cw: pregnancy mentions
"leave me alone, arthur." is what arthur has been hearing for the past ten minutes. he leans against a tree that you've chosen to noticeably hide yourself behind.
"this ain't like'chu." he huffs, refusing to move even when you use your sharp glare as a response. he doesn't catch what you grumble under your breath, nor catches the hint that he's stressing you out more. he watches you clean your revolver with force, contrary to how delicate you usually handle your gun.
arthur sighs, lifts himself off the tree, grabs your arm, and pulls you up much to your protests.
"c'mon, princess," he teases, (regardless of your gender, he calls you this whenever he believes you're acting above yourself) dragging you towards his horse. "we're goin' on a walk. get yer mind off'a things."
arthur'll take you where ever you want to go, whether you need to pick up a few things at the general store or if you want to sit by the river. either way, he enjoys spending time with you and especially enjoys seeing you finally relax.
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javier knows as soon as you're overwhelmed you cry. he knows it's just like any other reaction; like when javier's angry, he storms around camp refusing to talk to anyone unless provoked. he understands it all.
he watches your silhouette disappear into the woods surrounding camp after getting yelled at by miss grimshaw. he knows you contribute to the gang, but she doesn't think so. she demands that javier fetches you and make you finish your chores.
javier sneaks his guitar past grimshaw and quickly catches up to you. your knees are bunched to your chest, and tears stain your cheeks. he crouches down in front of you, quietly saying your name.
once he's able to pry your face from between your knees, his heart breaks seeing your ashamed expression.
"sorry," you sniffle, wiping your clogged nose, "this is so embarassing." you pathetically laugh. "don't say that." javier scooches next to you and pulls his guitar close to him. he plays softly next to you until you forget about your worries and fall asleep on his shoulder.
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you thought the saying "raining bullets" was a hyperbole, until you experienced it yourself.
it was a mission gone wrong. bill thought he found a good lead on a house robbery, but it was a set up. barely being able to scramble for an escape, bill managed to find a secluded corner of forest where you both could hide for a night or two.
bill is sharpening his knife, only glancing up when he notices you pacing back and forth.
"stop worryin'. i found us a nice spot. they ain't gonna find us."
"but what if they do? what if the law is on our asses? we don't have enough bullets. we'll run outta food soon, what if we run into patrols while hunting? what i-"
"[name]. yer freakin' out. calm down." bill glares at you. you sigh shakily and finally sit beside him, holding your hands together so hard your knuckles turn white.
after a long while of bill sharpening his knife and you zoning out, he mutters out a quiet "here."
you look over and notice the shiny gold necklace, the one that was sitting on the home owner's nightstand, the one you were eyeing as soon as you both got there. bill drops it in your palm, blushing at your smile. you both sit in a newfound comfortable silence.
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you start off the morning by waking up way earlier than you usually do, and somehow manage to sneak out of bed without waking up charles. but as soon as your feet hit the floorboards, you're suddenly very aware of how swollen and sore they are. one among many various downsides of pregnancy.
next, you mess up your routine. usually, you're one to get ready first. but your feet are already walking to the kitchen to make breakfast for the two of you. by the time you're already flipping pancakes, charles is up. he doesn't question why you're up so early. instead, he throws on his clothes, kisses your cheek, and steps outside to tend to your chickens and horses.
what really gets you is getting ready. your hair doesn't want to cooperate, and you swear you can still taste your morning breath, even if you brushed your teeth twice. charles finds you slumped against the countertop, ugly crying.
he takes you in his arms, pushing fly-aways from out of your face. he listens to your mindless rambles about how everything is going wrong, you feel ugly, and on top of everything your head hurts. charles whispered reassurances against the top of your head as he kissed it.
"i'll take care of everything," charles tells you as he guides you to sit on your shared bed, "just go back to sleep."
and when you wake up hours later feeling better, you can count on charles to rub your feet and shoulders thats been bugging you.
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john is only able to catch of glimpse of your slumped body when pratically everyone in camp swarms your horse. you'd been missing for almost a month, most likely dead, and john was barely grasping that concept. he'd been in denial for so long that he wasn't able to process the possibility of you coming back.
he pushes his way past tilly, but you're already on the ground by the time he gets there. your face is battered and clothes are torn. somebody is shouting to get help, mary-beth is checking your pulse, lenny is turning your arm to see how bad the cut across your forearm is, and you look like death. only answering with weak "i don't know"s to bombarding questions, flinching when someone new puts their hands on you, scrunching your eyebrows in distain.
john snaps out of his hopeless state when miss grimshaw says something about getting you to a tent.
"i'll get 'em to my tent. makes the most sense. uncle, move!" john carries you from under your knees and back, attempting to not jostle you too much.
he sets you on his cot, subconsciously wincing when he sees you writhe in pain. he uses the time when everyone is scrambling to find things to patch you up as to calm you down.
"hey, 's okay. look at me." he cups your bruised cheek, "i dunno what happened t'you when y'were gone, but it ain't gonna happen again, okay?"
Sean drunkenly pulling reader in his lap like that one John/Karen camp interaction in front of either Arthur or John
The DRAMA 💅💅💅
🌹anon
Warnings: fluff and mentions of spice ;)
Syno: I smell smth' burninggg...
+++ arthur pic by ritreas and john's by jewel on pin.
┆ ⤿ ❀ m.list
𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧
Sean was three drinks too deep.
You were leaning over the small wooden table, brows furrowed in concentration as Arthur's low drawl guided you through the game. Cards spread between you, the fire crackling nearby, throwing gold across his face. He was patient, mostly. His rough fingers brushed yours when you misplaced a card, a faint smirk tugging at his mouth.
"No, not there. darlin'," he murmured. "You'll lose your hand if you keep doin' that. Here, look." He reached over, rearranging your cards with deliberate slowness, his thumb grazing your knuckles before retreating. "Now you're safe."
"Mhm. But didn't I-"
"Well, would ya look at this?"
Sean stumbled into view, a bottle dangling from his hand and a grin too wide for his own good. "Morgan teachin' the missus how to cheat at cards now, is he?" He laughed at his own joke before either of you could answer. "The two lovebirds, sittin' all cozy like they’re the prince and princess o' camp."
Arthur didn't even flinch. Just shot him that look, the one that could make a coyote back down. "Walk away, MacGuire."
But Sean, being Sean, only grinned wider and staggered closer, planting himself right beside you. The reek of whiskey hit before his arm did, slung too easily around your shoulders.
You froze, feeling Arthur’s stillness beside you turn to something heavier. His hand shifted off the back of your chair and landed flat on the table with a soft thud. "Sean. You got about one second to move that arm before I break it."
"Aw, c'mon, just borrowin’ her for a second!"
Before you could blink, Sean yanked you into his lap, your back smacking against his chest as he sloshed his whiskey.
Arthur's entire body went still.
"See now, you sit nice, sweetheart," Sean cooed, grinning over your shoulder. "Much better spot, ain't it?"
Arthur didn't say a word and just stepped forward, towering now, one hand resting ominously on his belt buckle.
"One."
Sean’s smile faltered. "Hey now-"
"Two."
"Arthur, I'm just jokin', she's fine-" Sean lets you go immediately.
"Three."
"But I let her go-"
Arthur didn't give him the chance to scramble. He grabbed Sean by his hair, yanked him clean off the chair, and decked him straight into the dirt.
You scrambled back as Sean groaned and rolled over, clutching his ribs. "That's what you get. Don't ever touch me!"
Arthur turned, gaze dark, muscles tight with restraint.
"You alright, darlin'?" His hand found your waist. You nodded, breath shaky. "Yeah."
His thumb brushed your side. "Good. And you. Try that again," Arthur growls, seconds away from spitting at the boy. "And I’ll bury you so deep you'll be speakin' to your ancestors, boy."
Sean swallows hard. "Right… noted," and scampered away, more like being dragged away by Lenny.
Arthur snorted, picking up his cards again. "Good. Now, cmon' darlin', your turn. And don't mess it up this time."
You caught the flicker of a smirk at the corner of his mouth, the faintest trace of amusement breaking through the tension. "Wasn't plannin' to," you murmured.
You thought he'd let it go there, but later that night, when you both finally laid down, Arthur pressed into your back, arm wrapped tight around your waist. He didn't speak right away. Just pressed his face against your shoulder, the rough scrape of his stubble dragging over your skin. He was doing it more tonight. more aggressively, like how a child snuggles its teddy bear. Which finally made you slap his nose.
"Stop that. It pricks."
"...Ain't right," he sighed with a pout. "What he did."
You turned in his hold, eyes half-shadowed by the lantern's dying light. "You already made sure he won't do it again."
"Don't matter." His voice dropped lower and venomous. "Still thinkin' about it."
You reached up, brushing a hand over his cheek. The muscle there jumped beneath your fingers. "Then stop."
Arthur let out a low, humorless sound, his hair sliding down to his eyes. "You make it sound so easy." He leaned in, kissing the corner of your mouth, slow at first, then deeper, his frustration melting into something else. "Ain't about trustin' you, darlin'. That I do with my whole being. It's about knowin' what I'd do if someone ever tried again."
"I'll stab him if next time even happens, simple. He's immature and was not in his senses, let it go. He'll think a million times before doing that when he's sober, trust me. Even if you aren't here, they are scared of your absence too, y'know."
You didn't speak any further when he chuckled. Just stayed close like hw wanted, his heartbeat heavy against your own as his arm settled tighter around you, like he could keep the whole damn world from ever getting close again.
𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧
You were near the fire, John sitting close, one leg stretched out, the other bent with his elbow slung over it. His gaze was somewhere between bored and content, quietly watching you fold a clean rag in your lap. Oh, he loved this sight of you.
Then Sean swaggered over, reeking of whiskey and mischief. On his bullshit again, no doubt.
"Well, well, if it ain't the missus Marston herself," Sean chirped. "You really sittin' over here foldin' laundry? You could be sittin' somewhere much more entertainin'."
John didn't even glance up. "Move along, Sean."
But Sean being Sean, the menace, crouched down in front of you instead, wiggling his brows. "Ah, don't be like that, Johnny boy. It’s just a bit o’ fun! Look at er', you hoarding up all the domesticity and prettiness here!"
Before you could react, he gripped your wrist and yanked you right into his lap.
"Sean! What-- LET ME GO!" you gasped, palms braced on his chest, frozen in shock.
Sean leaned back with the cockiest grin, his chin hooking over your shoulder like you were his prize. "See now, this's better, ain't it? Real cozy."
It took a second for John to process that someone...actually touched his wife in front of him.
A bastard.
Had the guts....
To touch his wife? He couldn't fathom for a second that this fool even thought of doing it. People have that much confidence?
"You wanna die tonight, Sean?"
Sean's arms tightened around you like an idiot playing with fire. "Aw c’mon, John, don't get all fussy on me-"
"Let her go."
“C'mon now, ain't fair. You gotta have sympathy for those men around here who don't have wives, learn to shar-"
"(Y/N)? GET UP! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!-"
"CAN'T YOU SEE?! HE'S NOT LETTING ME GO, IDIOT! LEMME GO SEAN, YOU ASS!" You slap and punch Sean, but he laughed, squeezing you a little tighter like the dumb bastard he was.
"Let. Her. Go. You bitch."
Sean held you tighter, giggling, making you hit him relentlessly. So John stood. When John stood up, facing him, Sean's bravado melted faster than a snowflake in July.
"A-Alright, alright, Johnny!" Sean practically threw you off his lap, hands up like a man surrendering to the law.
But John ran after him, and the drunken fool was easy to catch up with. And there you have it, men gathered in seconds to get psycho John off the ginger whose nose was bloody.
It was after the commotion and you standing by Tilly when John's hand was on your chin, tilting your face up toward him.
"You alright?"
You swallowed and nodded, watching Tilly walk away to give you both space. Not before she thanked John for teaching the annoying bastard a lesson.
His thumb brushed your jaw, firm but gentle. "Ain't no one else gonna touch you like that again."
"…You're...still mad?"
"Damn right I am."
Later that night, John doesn't speak much. But he drags you to his tent, throws you over his lap , his , and mutters, "You don't ever sit on another man's lap again, you hear me, princess?" Classic, blaming you in some way.
"Excuse me?! I didn't do it willing-"
"Bet you look pretty unwillingly too!"
You stared after he uttered that dumb statement which he...quickly realized too.
"You are such a piece of shit! Always going on about your pride and ego. Go tell him off if your so angry!." You jumped of his lap and stormed out. But before you could get another foot out, you were held by waist tighter than ever.
"I KNOW BUT I don't wanna hear it, woman! I am sorry okay?!"
You turned in his hold, eyes flashing. "You don't sound sorry!"
"I am," he said through gritted teeth.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then he leaned down and pressed a rough, desperate kiss against your forehead, clumsy but honest, and took you to bed. And you thought it was over if you accepted his apology. But no. He wanted to cling to you like a dog, like he is.
summary: you go about your quiet cabin life on a slow summer day, sugar-dusted pie on the sill, dirt worked deep beneath your nails. But the past still whispers through the trees, telling stories of campfire smoke, a gang of outlaws you once ran with, and a certain boy who carried the night in his eyes and wolf-claws on his cheek. Some loves are meant to stay buried. Others are only waiting to find their way home.
warnings: mentions of abuse (SA, physical, mental), cheating, angst.
genre: 40% smut, 40% angst, 20% fluff.
notes: very canonverse (except for the epilogue which I heavily modified)
wc: 12.8k
“Evenin’, miss.”
Time and smoke had further scarred the voice you’d last heard in a far Roanoke cave all those years back, but it was still unmistakably his. Gravel over silk. Cigarettes in honey. Sweet nothings against your ear…
And it still made the world tilt beneath your feet.
“Jo—John?” Your brave, trembling lips dared the name they hadn’t spoken aloud in a long time, although the rest of you wanted nothing more than to slam the door shut, press your back to the wood, clutch the beads against your chest, and say a prayer for your sanity.
“It’s…” Your lips remained frozen, slightly parted, waiting for words that wouldn’t form. Instead, a thin cloud of white breath escaped them and vanished in front of you, making the reality of the cold, and him, undeniable. The rifle hid long forgotten behind the door. Rifles didn’t work on ghosts, after all. “…It’s been a while.”
He stared at you like he wasn’t certain this wasn’t a trick the night was playing on him. Like he’d expected a haunted cabin in the middle of nowhere, but never the ghost herself to be standing in the doorway staring back at him.
“S’been a while,” he echoed, his voice a raspy thread of sound. And although his body was there, solid and broad in front of you, his mind was somewhere far off. A distant land, a different timeline, an unreachable moment in time. You knew because yours was there too.
His eyes caressed your features with somewhat urgent yet careful deliberation, like trying to read a thousand-page book in a single breath, like trying to learn years of history in one glance, before you slammed the door in his face.
“You look well, miss. Healthy.”
His words hit you like the summer sun, making your face burn from the neck up.
“Thank you. I—” Your hands fluttered uselessly down the front of your skirt before you even approved of the movement, smoothing the olive-brown wool that hug your waist tightly, your fingers checking blindly for stray specks of stew as your heart thundered against your ribs. “I—um—I wasn’t expectin’—Jesus—Do you wanna come in?” The words fell out cracked and breathless, more plea than invitation. A plea for him to walk into the light of your cabin and prove he wasn’t a product of your imagination. “It’s freezin’ outside.”
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth—careful, polite, and almost swallowed by the dark that enveloped the porch. “If that’s okay with you, miss.” His shoulders eased a fraction, just enough to show you you’d been holding the same crushing tension together.
“Your neighbor’s hound nearly took my damn leg off,” he added, rotating his wrist vaguely in that boyish, familiar way you remembered too well. “So I would, um…much appreciate it, yes, miss.”
A huff escaped you, releasing a fragment of the pressure encased within your chest. Something almost like a laugh. Almost.
You stepped aside, opening the door wider. A restless smile tugged at your lips, thin and still disbelieving.
He stepped past you, taking off his hat the way you’d once read gentlemen did in the presence of a lady. His boots landed heavy on the wooden planks, but his stride was unexpectedly careful, as gentle as a step could be, as if he didn’t want to drag too much of the outside world in with him.
You closed the door quietly. Still, the soft click of the latch rang louder than gunfire, locking the two of you inside the warm, fire-lit mountain nook you called home.
Under the cabin’s dim light, he stood solid before you, mature in ways that had nothing to do with age.
The sleeves of his white shirt were buttoned all the way to his wrists, fabric stretched possessively over thick muscle. His ebony leather vest hugged his frame tight, it was nearly black where the light failed to reach. Just like his hair, which was kept short now, neat and disciplined in a way that somehow made him look even rougher and even more...
‘More like a man now.’
Tilly’s words finally made sense inside your head. To you, he’d always looked—felt—like a man. But this John, the one resurrected on your doorstep nearly a decade after you left him in that cave, was different.
And somehow still achingly familiar.
He glanced around with a kind of quiet, respectful curiosity, his hands clutching his hat like they needed something solid to hold onto.
His hands.
Large, steady hands you still remembered far too well. They were covered in heavy riding gloves, worn but well cared for. And you wondered, briefly, whether he kept them on because of the cold… or to hide new scars.
Or perhaps old ones that had never healed quite right.
“You keep this place nice, miss,” he said, voice low. The light nod you gave in response anchored you back to the present, to the cabin and your living room that now smelled like a memory you’d never stopped grieving. “Looks… peaceful.”
“It is,” you answered, your voice softer than the olive-brown wool you only then realized you’d been wringing between your fingers. “Most days.”
He smiled faintly, eyes soft and perhaps a little tired. And you disapproved of the way you still wanted to smooth the crease between his brows, almost on instinct, even after all this time.
Still, you gave in
“Got some… coffee,” you said, glancing toward the stove. “If you don’t mind it bitter.”
“Coffee sounds real nice,” he replied, still standing in the middle of the room, as if waiting for permission that you hadn’t realized you were holding.
“Oh, please sit,” you offered, gesturing toward the table, your gaze glued to the floorboards you’d walked across a thousand times and never once found as interesting as you did that night. “The ride must’ve been long.”
You turned toward the cupboard, rising onto your toes just enough to reach the spare tin cup you never used, happy to release your face into a quick wince, hidden from him only by the wood paneling.
Your entire body felt like a tangle of tight knots, your muscles barely following your orders. Your fingers trembled as you rinsed the dust off the cup, though the cold water in the basin had little to do with it. Your mind was a hurricane. It asked—screamed—questions that your heart could only answer with a frantic throb, while your gut twisted with an uncomfortable swirl of feelings you didn’t have the composure to name.
Not with his eyes on your back.
Not with him sitting at the table where you’d been chopping vegetables just moment ago.
Not with the past and nine years of absence trembling between you.
You knew he had questions. Things to say.
You had them too.
And you didn’t know how long you had until he rose, put his hat back on his head, and walked right back out of your door.
So you let the first one escape your lips, quiet, careful, and trembling at the edges:
“How’d you find me?” Why. You allowed yourself to wonder, your hands struggling to keep the kettle steady as you poured the coffee, the metal clinking awkwardly against the rim.
He didn’t answer right away. But you knew he would.
You could feel his eyes on you even though you weren’t looking. Back then, you’d learned your skin warmed when he stared, like your body noticed him before your mind ever could. And after all these years, it still held true.
“I knew your address,” he said finally.
You set the kettle down and nodded, giving yourself a moment to breathe before turning back toward him.
“I’ve known for a while,” he added. His tone was plain. Honest. Not dressed up to impress you or soften the truth—just offered as it was.
You turned and set the steaming cup in front of him, answering his honesty with your own small, quiet care.
“Thank you,” he murmured. His hat was still in his hands, thumb dragging slowly along the brim—but his gloves were gone. And you hated how quickly your eyes dropped, how desperately they searched his fingers for a ring.
He waited until your hand was a safe distance away before reaching for the cup, moving with careful precision, as if trying to respect some invisible boundary neither of you had named.
You took your seat across from him, meeting his eyes just long enough to let him know you were listening. And only then did he continue:
“I asked Tilly a few years back when I saw her again.”
Tilly.
Bless her bright, chatty, well-meaning heart.
Of course she’d told him. She wouldn’t have thought twice.
She couldn’t have known what the two of you had been to each other—whatever wordless thing it’d been.
She didn’t know how deep it ran under your skin. How deep into you he’d been.
She didn’t know how he’d held you beneath the moonlight, bent you breathless under the rain, molded your body into whatever shape he’d wanted with his bare, calloused hands…until you knew nothing but his name, moaned like the softest sin under the delightful pressure of his gunslinger fingers.
And most importantly, she didn’t know how his voice turned into honey when he called you darlin’, or what the word did to you when you remembered it.
You blinked at the memory before it swallowed you whole, and dragged your gaze back to the present, where his eyes were fixed on yours with an intensity that made you wonder briefly, absurdly, if he could read your thoughts.
“Wasn’t sure you’d still be here,” he added. Then, after a pause, softer—almost unsure. “Was hopin’ you were.”
Your pulse stumbled.
Why?
Your heart kicked hard against your ribs. A smile threatened to slip, small and traitorous, but you smoothed your expression before it could bloom.
You couldn’t help it.
It was… nice.
To know he’d kept your address tucked somewhere in his mind.
Nicer still that he’d cared enough to ask.
Even if he still hadn’t told you why.
“Is that so?” you said lightly, leaning back in your chair, watching the steam curl from your cup.
The wind outside had calmed, but something else had sparked—low and warm in your gut. The fire was warm. The night long. The coffee strong. It was just the two of you, separated by a narrow pine table and years of things that had never been said.
So you were about to start asking again when he shifted first, leaning forward, elbows braced on the wood.
“Y’know,” he said, voice just the right amount of hoarse, “didn’t expect you’d… be out here. This far.”
“Well,” you smiled into your cup, tired of fighting the pull. “I didn’t expect anyone’d come find me.”
A quiet moment stretched between you—soft, charged. He held your gaze and you held his, both of you searching for something unspoken, some broken shard of 1899 still lodged behind the eyes.
You tried not to stare. You really did. But age had settled on him like a compliment. His beard was neatly kept, but not fussy—just enough to frame a jaw a little sharper than you remembered. Time had softened the scars you’d once kissed, but they were not erased, just lived with. Never gone. And neither, it seemed, was the memory of them—judging by the faint tingle that lingered on your lips.
And you hated yourself for the next thought that followed, quiet and unwelcome.
Abigail kept him fine.
Abigail… you didn’t want to go there. But the knot in your gut tightened, insisted.
“So, uh… how’s everythin’?” you asked. “How’s Jack and—”
You took a sip, stalling. Why were you dancing around her name? It had been a decade. A lifetime ago. “—and Abigail,” you finished, feeling foolish for hesitating at all.
He looked up at you over the rim of his cup. Paused. Something unreadable flickered in his eyes—something he chose not to give voice to.
Then he cleared his throat.
“Good,” he said simply. “She’s got a ranch now. Near Blackwater. And Jack, he’s growin’. Got himself a dog. Little thing thinks he’s ten feet tall.”
A quiet chuckle escaped you just as you were about to take a sip.
“Sounds like a good dog.” Then, quieter, swallowing the ache. “Good for them.”
You hesitated, then added—as if reminding yourself as much as him, as if saying it aloud would make it settle. Would remind you of the shape of things. Of what he was:
“And for you, too.”
An old lump ached, still tender inside of you, even though it had been years since she’d won, since he’d chosen her and let you go.
“Yeah,” he murmured, his thumb tracing along the rim of the cup. “Yeah, I guess so.”
You weren’t sure what he meant by guess, but you didn’t push.
Instead, you watched him—the way his hands warmed around the cup, the way his eyes now paced around the cabin as if searching for a distraction to rest on. Your shelves of dried herbs. The quilts you’d stitched yourself, each square uneven but honest. The old rocking chair tucked into the corner, its legs worn smooth by years of use.
And you wondered what could possibly bring a taken man this high into the mountains.
“You been doin’ alright out here?” He asked suddenly, the question separating you from your thoughts.
“Yeah,” you answered softly. “I have.”
“You… livin’ out here alone, miss?” His voice stayed gentle, careful—yet his eyes lingered on the extra pair of work boots by the back door, as if they might stand up and tell him a story your lips hadn’t yet.
For a fleeting second, a cruel little thought crossed your mind—what would happen if you fed him a bitter lie. If you told him there was a husband out in those woods, a man who thought about you fondly and couldn’t wait to return to your arms. Would his throat tighten? Would his chest sting the way yours had when Tilly’s letter mentioned Abigail. Would something inside him ache the way you once had.
Still did.
You wanted to see, just for a heartbeat, if that old, familiar ache could finally migrate from your ribs to his. If you could, for once, let him be the one to drown in the what-ifs while you played the part of the woman who’d moved on.
But you let the thought pass. You didn’t have the energy for games, and nine years was too long a time to start a conversation with a lie.
“I do,” you said, your chin tilting just a fraction. Some truths were safer spoken aloud. Others… better left untouched.
He cleared his throat, then drew in a breath that seemed to brace his whole body, as if he were steadying himself against a fall.
You felt it before he spoke—the pause heavy, deliberate. The sense of a door about to open.
And you realized, with a quiet jolt of shame, how badly you wanted it to.
“Truth is,” he said finally, voice low, “I been livin’ on my own for a while now.”
Your brows lifted before you could stop them. He didn’t look up, but his knuckles tightened around the cup, whitening slightly.
“Abigail and me…” He paused, and you held your breath, stretched like a worn-out rope. “We ain’t together no more. Not in that way.”
Something inside you loosened all at once.
It was subtle—no gasp escaped your chest, no smile betrayed your lips—but the room seemed to inhale with you. Warmth rushed up your spine, bright and startling, like stepping into sunlight after years of shade. Your chest felt lighter. The knot you hadn’t realized you’d been carrying eased just enough to let you breathe.
You hated yourself for it.
Loved it too.
He exhaled slowly, shoulders dipping. “We tried. For Jack’s sake. For the life I promised Arthur.” His jaw worked, words careful now. “But she knew my mind was…” He trailed off, then finished quietly, “we both knew where it was.”
The fire danced orange and alive in the hearth. The stew bubbled excitedly on the stove, surely overcooked by now. But you didn’t care. Every sound felt louder, more alive, as if your senses had woken up all at once.
“She’s doin’ good,” he added quickly, as if he had to clarify. “Still got her ranch. Jack’s growin’ up fine. I see ’em. Ain’t like we’re strangers.” A faint, almost embarrassed smile tugged at his mouth. “Just… don’t share a roof no more.”
The cabin felt smaller then. Mellow. The air thick with something you didn’t dare name. The familiar creak of the floorboards pressed around you like a held breath.
Your cup felt too light in your hands. Your throat tightened—not with grief, but with the effort of keeping your face neutral, to keep that warm spark quiet and contained where it belonged.
You knew what you were supposed to say.
I’m sorry.
That must be hard.
But no.
After nine years, you couldn’t force the lie out of your mouth, even if you wanted to.
Which you didn’t.
Because all you wanted, in that moment, was to meet his gaze across the narrow table. To stare at the starlit night he had for eyes and let it pull you back… to the only place you ever truly wished you could return to.
The summer of 1899.
The campfire glow licking at the dark. Laughter drifting through the trees, woven with the jaunty, carefree melody of Uncle’s banjo. The snort of a stubborn mare. Sunset pouring molten gold across Flat Iron Lake. Rain drumming against the fisherman’s roof. Moonlight spilling through the broken bones of a ruined sheriff’s office. The camp near Blackwater. That first night. His tent… where the story had begun…
And for a beat—for one dangerous, breathless beat—time loosened its grip entirely.
You were suspended, here and there all at once, caught in the deep, troubled storm raging in his eyes, meeting him where the years had no weight.
Where it didn’t matter who he’d choose eventually, because in that fragile, borrowed moment, you were still together.
Sleeping beneath a tree.
Breeze lulling the weight of the world away.
His head heavy in your lap.
Your fingers threading slowly through soft, dark hair while the world turned without asking anything of you.
No. It didn’t matter if he chose her somewhere later in the story. If he got married. If he built a ranch and a life that didn’t include you. Because the story would always carry the soft press of his lips against yours in a dark Roanoke cave. And it would always end with him knocking at your door in a faraway mountain, nine laps around the sun later, like something lost had finally found its way home.
And for the briefest moment, you let it take root.
You let yourself believe.
That maybe—just maybe—this was where all the roads had been leading.
That maybe he hadn’t come all this way just to say hello and goodbye…
But…
what if it wasn’t?
What if this wasn’t the ending at all? What if there was still more pain waiting to be written?
The thought struck you like icy water running down the stream behind your cabin, sharp and sobering.
Your eyes broke away before the past could finish closing its hands around you, before you could sink too deep and forget how to come back.
To this life.
Your life now.
Quiet. Hard-earned. Carefully stitched together after years of grim, patient survival.
You couldn't afford to plant hope only to watch it get torn out again when the seasons changed.
You knew what that fall felt like. Falling for him.
You weren’t sure your heart could survive another.
“I see. John, you…” Your voice faltered, thin and unsure, worn down by the war you were fighting inside your chest. “You must be hungry. I—”
You rose too quickly, chair scraping its protest against the floor as you turned toward the stove, grasping the nearest bowl and ladle. Anything to give your hands purpose. Anything to keep your eyes from burning.
And you prayed—quietly, desperately—that he wouldn’t notice how badly you wanted to believe.
But he did. He always noticed more than people gave him credit for.
You heard the chair shift behind you. Then boots—one, two, three careful steps across the floorboards. You felt him before he spoke: the contradicting scent of honey and tobacco perfuming the whole room, the warmth of his body settling close at your back, not touching, but near enough to feel.
And unravel.
“Miss I—” His voice came careful and steady, as if he couldn’t allow himself the leisure of mistakes. And there was something threaded through it now, something raw he wasn’t bothering to hide. “That day. By the lake. When I fell asleep in your lap…”
Your fingers tightened around the ladle.
“I ain’t never slept like that again,” he went on softly. “Not once.”
Your throat closed. The memory bloomed uninvited—sun-warmed grass, the slow roll of water against the shore, his weight heavy and trusting against you. You could loop inside that distant afternoon forever and never feel like you needed to escape.
“I kept thinkin’ about it,” he said. “’Bout you. For years. Didn’t matter what I was doin’. Where I was livin’. What I was drinkin’.”
You swallowed hard and kept stirring, though the stew no longer needed it.
“Kept thinkin’ how we shouldn’t’ve ever woke up. Shouldn’t’ve gone back to camp. How I should’ve asked you to run. Take both my horse and your mare and never look back.”
The ladle slipped from your fingers with a soft clatter against the bowl.
You stilled, then slowly set the bowl down on the counter, both palms bracing against the wood as if it were the only thing keeping you upright. Your head dipped, suddenly too heavy to carry. Your shoulders trembled once before you could stop them.
You didn’t turn around.
You didn’t trust yourself to.
“I should’ve told you what you were to me,” he continued, closer now—so close the faint hitch in his breath ghosted over you, yet still not close enough for his chest to find the curve of your spine. “How it felt when you said my name... like it was okay to just be me. Like I wasn’t just the sum of my sins. How easy the world spun when I could hold you against me. How… right.”
Your eyes burned. You blinked hard, jaw clenched, fighting the ache swelling behind your ribs. God, you had wished for this—for him to say it, to name it—but now that he was, it hurt in a way you hadn’t prepared for. Like pressing on an old wound you’d barely learned to live around.
“I don’t regret Jack,” he said, voice firm as iron. “Never will. And I don’t regret tryin’ to give him a life better than the one his ma and I came from. I’ll keep trying to find it for him ‘til the day I take my last breath.”
You stayed where you were. Silent. Shaking. Letting his words settle into you, long-awaited and unbearably heavy.
He stepped closer.
Not touching, never touching, but bracing his hands against the counter on either side of you, caging you in with his presence alone. As if he could steady you, comfort you without crossing the line.
His voice softened behind you, rough edges worn down by honesty.
“But I regret lettin’ you walk away. I regret not chasin’ after you when you did. I regret not tellin’ you how I felt…back when tellin’ would’ve actually meant somethin’.”
Your breath shuddered out of you, sharp and uneven.
You squeezed your eyes shut, forehead nearly touching the cabinet, the ache swelling too big for your chest. Wishing—aching—to turn back time. To grab his hand by that lake. To say run. To mean it.
Behind you, he was close enough that you felt the heat of his heart against your back, beating life inside his chest. But still not close enough to touch.
And somehow, that was the hardest part of all.
You knew he wouldn’t. Not without you asking. Not without you choosing.
That was the difference between him and the ugly world you’d spent a lifetime crawling out from. With him, you always got to choose.
So you did.
You lifted your hand and placed it over his where it rested on the counter, your palm against the back of his, your fingers threading between his like they already knew the shape. Like muscle memory never truly died.
“John,” you whispered, voice breathy, his name both an anchor and a plea.
He let you press his hand down harder, let you feel the strength there, the steadiness, the warmth.
The promise.
And he waited. Just waited.
His breath warmed the curve of your neck, stirring the same place he’d once kissed a bruise away years ago. The skin there was smooth now. Healed.
Your body remembered, yearned, anyway.
You tilted your head to the side without thinking, offering your neck on instinct. Braced against the counter. His chest close to your spine, the fringe on his leather vest caressing the back of your dress. Drunk on the past breathing down your skin.
“What if she wants you back?” You asked, voice barely a thin thread, scared to let the words bleed out of your mouth. Words that hurt like glass on your tongue. Like bitter poison in your mouth.
“I ain’t that man no more,” he promised against the curve of your neck. Not touching. Not yet. But heavens, he was so close it made your knees liquid.
He turned you around, slow and deliberate, fitting you into the tight space between his body and the counter. Your hands rose to his arms for balance, fingers curling into his biceps like they needed something solid to hold onto.
His eyes searched yours—bare and unguarded in a way they had never been in the shadows of camp. Up close, the scars on his cheek looked deeper, wiser, a reminder of all the nights that had passed without you.
For one dangerous second, you thought he’d kiss you.
Instead, his hands rose to your face, cupping it, thumbs like sunlight against your cheeks.
“All I care about,” he promised, voice raw and unconcealed, “is whether you want me back.”
The warmth in his gaze made your entire body melt against the counter.
“But John—” you breathed, his name already undoing you.
He pressed a feather-light kiss to the side of your neck in response, barely there, a whisper of contact that sent hot whiskey flooding your veins.
“John—”
“Darlin’,” he answered, voice luxurious as velvet, coarse as sugar. Another kiss to your skin, lower this time, near the slope of your shoulder, as far as the neckline of your dress would allow. Wetter too. Slower. Leaving a cool trail against overheated skin.
“Please—John—”
A soft, traitorous moan slipped free before you could stop it. Your knees buckled, the sensation too familiar, too delightful, too right. Your body yielded, arching without permission.
His hands went instantly to your waist, one sliding up your back to keep you upright. Steadying you. Protecting you.
And the irony of it—that his touch both held you together and threatened to pull you apart—made you ache.
“Darlin’,” he whispered again, his mouth brushing your skin, lingering long enough for the soft, wet sound of his lips to brush a nerve between your legs.
You whimpered in response, breath trembling. “P—please… don’t call me that if you ain’t gonna stay.”
The words tore out of you, scraping your throat raw on the way out.
“If you ain’t gonna be here tomorrow when I open my eyes,” you continued, voice trembling somewhere between a plea and a moan, as his lips painted wet trails over your skin, “or the day after… or next week… or ten years from now—”
The word darlin’ died on his lips.
For a heartbeat, the world narrowed to the sound of the fire snapping in the hearth, the stew forgotten on the stove, the violent thud of your heart where it slammed against your ribs, the sound of his breath fanning your neck skin as his kisses stilled. His hands—strong, careful, reverent—stilled at your waist as if you’d drawn a line he would not cross unless you pulled him over it yourself.
And it looked like it cost him the world not to touch you.
With a quiet, deliberate strength, he lifted you just enough to sit you on the counter, your legs falling open around him, caging him in. Not rushed. Not desperate. Intentional.
He rested his forehead against yours, his breath warm and unsteady colliding with your own.
“Miss… I know you deserve way better than me—”
“And yet you still came,” you cut in, you voice soft but laced with a sharp, old defiance. Your lips hovered a hair’s breadth from his, and you caught the dark, familiar scent of tobacco and black coffee on his words.
“Still pinned me right here against the counter,” you whispered, a heavy, pulsing heat pooling deeply between your thighs. “Still stood between my legs like you own the space. Got me opening them for you again… like you still want to be the one to please me.”
“Exactly,” he breathed against your lips, the word a ragged surrender of his desire, restraint etched into every cord of his neck as if he was fighting the urge to close the distance. “I’m likely the kind of man a woman like you shouldn’t let within a country mile.”
He paused, honesty scraping his throat raw as it climbed out. “And I still came. Came when I should’ve had the grace to leave you be. When you were doin’ just fine without me comin’ to ruin it.”
You lifted a hand to the back of his head, sliding your fingers through his hair, shorter now, rougher beneath your touch. You kept him close—exactly as close as you needed.
“But I ain’t here to hurt you,” he said quietly, voice so intimate even if someone was here in your cabin, they wouldn’t be able to listen. No bravado. No charm. Just truth laid bare. “And I ain’t here for one night, neither.”
Your eyes fluttered shut. His hair between your fingers feeling like Flat Iron Lake all over again.
God, it would be so easy to believe him.
“I don’t wanna take somethin’ from you,” he went on, his voice a tempting whisper, threaded with something raw. Vulnerable. “I wanna build somethin’. With you. If you’ll let me.” His nose brushed against yours, rough stubble grazing your cheek. “Slow, if it has to be. Even if it scares the hell outta me.”
His thumb traced your jaw, unhurried, reverent, like he was happy to learn your face by touch all over again while he waited for your answer. Like he was afraid you might change your mind if he moved too fast.
Your chest ached. Warm. Overfull.
You opened your eyes and met his.
The years fell away again—but this time, the present held.
You leaned in, almost kissing him, desire pulling you forward—then stopped yourself, fingers tightening in his hair, holding him back just enough to keep the wanting sharp.
“And if I say yes,” you whispered, lips trembling against the heat of his breath, “and you change your mind?”
His gaze didn’t waver. He looked at you with the steady, unyielding honesty of a man with nothing left to hide.
“Then you’ll be the bravest damn thing I never deserved,” he said. “And I’ll be the fool who lost you twice.”
Silence wrapped around you, thick and electric, heavy with the weight of nine wasted years. A muscle deep in your chest shifted, snapped into place like two broken pieces finally remembering how they fit. The click was painful. Sharp. Like reopening an old wound on purpose.
But you knew that this was the only way it could ever truly heal.
You leaned in, your lips finally finding the ridges of the scars along his cheek. You had kissed them a thousand times in the dark of your sleep, but now they were real. Scars that felt like the setting sun against your lips.
You pulled back, just enough to look at him. His eyes opened slowly and heavy, as if he were finally waking from a decade long dream.
Then you asked, your voice soft but daring, a challenge and an invitation all at once:
“Are you gonna start kissin’ me again?”
That was all he needed.
Only then did he lean in, closing the space that had separated you for what felt like a lifetime.
Your lips met his in that exact unreachable past, now turned present in his arms. A kiss that tasted like hiding from the rain in a stranger’s cabin, or from the world in a burned-out sheriff’s office. Like a mellow sunset resting under a tree. Like fate taking the longest, cruelest way around—only to knock on your door, nine years later, to finally give you what had always been yours.
A soft moan escaped you when his tongue brushed yours. Exploring you. Tasting you.
Gently. Unhurriedly. Wet.
He savored you like a man who knew he wouldn’t get a third chance. Hungry yet patient. Demanding yet reverent. His lips were velvet, but the rough scrape of his stubble against your skin created a delicious contradiction that made your thighs clench tighter against him every time he shifted.
Your hands slid to the front of his vest, fingers trembling with impatience as they worked the buttons without thought, without sight, only instinct. He didn’t stop you. His hands were everywhere instead: your hips, your waist, your back, clenching the skirt of your dress, grip so tight you hoped the fabric would tear.
You opened your mouth wider for him, hungrier, trying to quench the fire that burned between your thighs, yet only succeeding at feeding it more, fanning the flames until they blurred the lines of reason. Kissing him was a heat haze in winter, thick and distorting. Breath was shared, stolen, then returned. It was traded back and forth until you were dizzy, surviving entirely on the air he allowed you to breath.
You blindly peeled the shirt from his chest, your hands guided by years of yearning and want, his breathing deepening like his body anticipated your touch. Your fingertips tickled against the soft dusting of hair you uncovered as you traced new scars you hadn’t known he carried.
He grunted a low, satisfied sound against your mouth as your palms eagerly explored his chest, solid, alive, damp with pearls of sweat, and thick with muscle. But you silenced him only by pushing the fabric and suspenders from his shoulders.
The shirt and vest whispered to the floor behind him, and only then did you force yourself to pull away. It wasn’t just to breath. It wasn’t just to stare at the parts of his body that fabric usually concealed from the rest of the world, but to let your fingers trail to the front of your own dress, easing it open just enough.
Just enough for the firelight to catch and gleam on your bare shoulders and the delicate lace cradling your breasts.
Just enough.
Just for him.
His breath stuttered.
He exhaled sharply. Hungry. Helpless. His eyes tracing the curves of your body in silent awe, and you saw the war raging in them: trying to remain a gentleman when the sight of you was turning his thoughts to fire.
“Please stay,” you said—not a demand, not a plea.
Just an opening.
And he decided to take it.
A feeble whimper escaped your lips when his found your jaw, then your neck, then lower… drawing patient, reverent trails down the line of your collarbone, unhurried and wet, and irresistibly sweet. Your body melted under his touch, boneless and liquid, grateful for the counter supporting your weight.
“John...” you hummed his name, smiling without meaning to as his lips lingered where your skin was warmest: the plump, soft flesh spilling out of the tight lace.
“I missed this,” he confessed, his lips brushing the delicate fabric. “My name on your lips.”
“John…” you gave it to him again, even softer now, aching, as if saying it might anchor him there. As if it might make him stay forever. And you felt the curve of his smile against your skin.
“You make it sound so sweet, darlin’,” he murmured, voice hoarse and smoky, like the fire crackling on the other side of the room. “Like it means something,” he whispered, his calloused fingers pushing your dress further down to your waist, as if asking for more of you. And you let him. You would let him take whatever he needed as long as he kissed you like this. “Don’t know how you do it,” he said, pulling back only slightly, his chest rising and falling as he took you in. As he stared down at the beautiful mess he’d made of you.
His breath caught. A raw grunt scraping his chest at the sight.
Not a sound of conquest—but of awe.
Of want.
It was written in his eyes, in the way they lingered on you, in the way they were undressing the rest of you before his fingers could.
You stepped down from the counter, allowing the unfastened wool to slip down past your hips and fall away entirely. With trembling fingers, you pulled the string that held together the lace over your breasts, freeing you from its constricting embrace.
Every second, every eyelet, felt like a lifetime.
But he waited. Patiently.
Then, you pushed your drawers down too, stepping free as they pooled a soft, cotton ring around your bare feet.
He swallowed. Audibly.
His mouth parted, breath escaping him slow and unguarded, and he wet his lips without meaning to.
Your breasts, bare before him for the first time, rose and fell with shallow, uneven breaths. Your nipples tightened against the cool draft sneaking through the cabin walls, but the rest of you burned under his watchful gaze.
You stood in front of him completely—unhidden, unguarded, unmasked.
And he looked like he’d forgotten how to breathe.
Completely undone by it.
By you.
By the vulnerable parts of you that no one else but him was allowed to see.
He stood still in front of you, his broad chest rising and falling in heavy, rhythmic counts that made your own heart gallop like the law was after you. Despite the urgency boiling low within your belly, you allowed your eyes to wander the hard planes of his chest, tracking the thick, dark trail of hair that dipped and vanished beyond the edge of his waistband. And you could feel the heat rolling off him in invisible waves, searing your skin with the promise of his touch, sinking into you, low and slow, until the ache between your thighs was the only thing you could feel.
Unable to resist the temptation a second longer, you reached for him, your fingers fumbling for the buttons of his jeans. And he was so gentle, so agonizingly patient, standing still for your trembling, clumsy hands to bare him, even though you could see the eager, painful weight of his desire straining against the fabric.
Without the suspenders, the denim surrendered easily under your touch, and so did the cotton beneath it. You eased the fabric down, following the strong lines of his thighs, your fingers grazing over hard muscle, until it no longer mattered, until nothing remained between you, until he stood bare before you. Honest, aching, and undeniably hard.
As though he’d been waiting for this too.
As though every mile, every year, every mistake you’d both made had finally bled into this single, inevitable moment.
You stepped closer, your folds unable to contain your desire as it threatened to drip down your thighs. Your heart thundered wild and unsteady—not from fear of what you were about to do, but from the promise of what you were about to feel.
You placed both hands on his hips and drew yourself against him. A fractured, feeble whimper escaped your lips the moment the hard, swollen head met your tender bud. Your nails sank into the firm flesh of his hipbones, your mouth hanging open in a silent moan as you held each other’s gaze. His brow furrowed at the delicious friction, of his heavy, indulgent cock gliding along your slit, up and down, spreading your pleasure-drenched folds delicately. Carefully. Coating him in your heat, at a pace that could only be described as agonizing.
The memory rose unbidden—the fisherman’s living room, rain drumming overhead, the way he had once taught you patience with his fingers and his cock, how wanting could be stretched until it sang. The same ache lived in you now, in the way you were moving against him slowly, purposefully, learning the shape of him again through feel alone, letting closeness and heat speak where words had failed for years.
He shuddered under your touch, savoring the worship in your movements. His breath caught sharp, his brow tight with your beautiful torture, pleasure carving deep lines into his face. You could see his desire overflow, you could feel it: how badly he wanted you to let him in, his body no longer able to contain the anticipation as it spilled over the swollen tip. Syrupy, sticky, and as sweet as honey between your folds.
You perched on the edge of the counter, trusting the worn wood to steady you once more. As you settled, your walls glided against each other, the heavy, honeyed slickness of your own desire protesting for him to return, your body mourning the loss of his touch. You reached for him with a low, impatient sound, and he didn’t keep you waiting, promptly stepping back into the cradle of your thighs.
He slid the head into you with ease, your mouth falling open at the sweet, welcome intrusion. You looked down just in time to watch him smoothly disappear into you, until he was fully nestled inside. The delightful fullness forced an arch into your spine, against the strong arm he kept around your waist, every nerve flaring awake at once. He let out a broken exhale, praising your walls for squeezing him just the way he liked. Just the way he remembered.
He pulled back slowly, then glided in again, and you watched together as he parted your folds leisurely. Patient at first, then bolder. It was a beautiful reclamation, stealing the air from your lungs and feeble, breathless whimpers from your lips. As though he was proving it to you, how this had always fit, how it always would.
“John—” you sang his name like a prayer, pleased hums escaping you as he began to find his rhythm, crafting a symphony out of the hitch in your lungs and the wet sounds of his thrusts that began to fill the quiet room.
Caged between your legs, he held you as if you were made of glass, even as his rhythm grew hungrier the more you sang for him. And there, in his arms, the world narrowed down to the glow of the fire, the clatter of the kitchenware against the cabinet doors, and the counter groaning under the force of his need. It was just the two of you, making love in your kitchen. The solid, sweating reality of him and your own, trembling, shuddering and clinging to him all at once.
“You okay?” he whispered, the words barely sound at all… just warmth, just care, just a sharp intake of air as he buried himself to the hilt.
You nodded, delight spilling from your lips, half-moan, half-smile. You were drunk on him: the gravel of his voice, the scent of woodsmoke and home, an entire decade of longing, and the way he kept hitting that sweet spot over and over until your mind dissolved into a haze of delight.
His hand found your cheek, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw to keep you anchored to this reality, to him. Every thrust brought your foreheads together, a rhythmic collision of bone and skin, trading borrowed air until you couldn't tell where your lungs ended and his began, his eyes searching yours with something dangerously close to devotion.
“Just tell me if it hurts, okay?” he murmured, gravelly and breathless, as though the words themselves were a struggle to pull from his lungs.
“With you, it never did,” you whispered back, eyelids heavy, soft smile tugging at your lips at the fulfilling, exquisite fullness of him, completely buried into you. The cabin walls shimmered and dissolved around you. Reason gone as he pressed you impossibly closer, your nails digging into the firm muscles of his back, and your ankles locking behind him to trap him in your heat.
“Oh John—” You sang his name into his shoulder, your cheek pressed against his damp skin and your heart hammering against his chest. “Yes—please,” you begged, voice fracturing with pleasure, your embrace a prison of flesh and bone. “J—just like that—” You held him tight as if your arms could stop the sun from rising, as if they could keep him in this mountain forever. With you. Away from the world that kept him from you for so long.
Here you were safe. Nobody would find you. All he had to do was stay.
He groaned your name like a prayer as your starved walls swallowed him whole, whispering soft sins and sweet nothings against your ear. His fingers dug into your hips as if he were anchoring himself to the only real thing left in the world. His satisfied grunts harmonized with your soft whimpers, a rising tide of overwhelming delight that drowned out the night breeze rattling the windowpane behind you.
“John—” You clung to him tighter, fear and need tangled into a knot as sparks gathered low and bright between your legs. And you knew he could feel the desperate tightening of your body around his, the way you were starting to shatter.
“I’m here, darlin’,” he whispered, his voice and his arms wrapping around your trembling frame like a heavy blanket. And you felt him twitch inside you, approaching his own release. “Right here.” He promised, the words like honey whispered against your ear, sweet and lingering. “Ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
For a fleeting second, it was 1899 again—only fuller, deeper, shaped by everything you’d lost and found in the gaps between. More deliberate. More alive.
You arched against him one last time as you exploded from deep within, white, hot and overwhelming, a midsummer’s downpour gushing out of you, drowning him, every nerve of your body lighting up as if struck by lightning. His name tore from your throat, bare and honest, as a decade of longing collapsed into a single, shattering moment.
He held you through it all, planting sweet, gentle pecks to your lips as if to soothe the storm he’d helped create. You shuddered in his arms, against his beating heart. Alive. And yours.
In his arms, the world outside ceased to exist.
There were no ghosts, no outlaws, no “pulling off one’s weight”, no transactions for a bowl of stew, no rotten mouths calling you a whore, and no Pinkertons taking him away from you no more.
There was only your cabin.
Only the soul-deep certainty that he didn’t make love like this to anyone else.
Only the present—warm between your thighs, inevitable, and finally yours.
He followed just a few erratic, helpless thrusts later, the strained darlin’ that left his lips as he finally spent himself over your belly felt like the sweetest mercy you’d ever been given.
He collapsed into you at once, forehead finding the crook of your neck as his breath slowed, uneven and warm against your skin. His hold on your waist eased but never let go, as though some quiet part of him needed the constant proof of your skin against his, making sure this hadn’t all been a trick the night had played on him.
You stayed with him while he caught his breath. One hand drew calming patterns along the broad expanse of his back, your fingertips savoring the steady strength beneath the softening muscle. The other drifted through the short, damp strands of his hair, soothing and unthinking. You felt the warmth of him linger an drip down your belly in thick, hot trails, as he dissolved under your touch.
As the high began to recede, the room stitched itself back together around you. The soft, orange glow of the dying fire returned to the hearth across the room. You noticed the two tin cups of coffee still sitting on the table, forgotten and surely cold by now, the steam long since vanished.
Near the door, the dark silhouette of your repeater leaned against the frame, like a silent sentinel. And beyond, the wind let out a long, low howl, rattling the windowpane in its frame, but the sound only made the cabin feel smaller, safer. Somewhere in the distance, a cougar screamed, a lonely, wild sound that felt a thousand miles away from the warmth of your kitchen.
And his arms.
“You cold?” he murmured after a moment, pulling back just enough to look at you. His thumb brushed your cheek with leisure. There was nothing urgent in him now. No touch that wasn’t threaded with a quiet, protective care. “You’re shakin’.”
“Only a little,” you admitted, leaning in to press a quick, soft claim on his lips. Something easy. Content.
Something yours.
You reached for the towel resting on the counter, dipping it into the basin beside you.
“You tired?” you asked with a small smile, honest and quiet, glancing toward the narrow corner behind the cabinet where Mary-Beth’s fiction and your bundles of dried herbs lived side-by-side.
“Got a bed back there,” you explained, cleaning him gently, movements unhurried, domestic, as if you’d done this a hundred quiet evenings before. There was no shame, only the peace of being known. Of being truly seen. “It’s real warm. Real nice,” you promised, wiping his spent heat from your belly. “It ain’t very big, but we’ll manage.”
His cheeks pulled back to return your smile, a rare, genuine thing that felt like a reward. Because his smile was the kind you earned, not the kind he handed out freely.
You let him steal a peck from your lips before you finally slid down from the counter, your feet meeting the cool floorboards.
Without a word, you reached for his white shirt and slipped into it, buttoning nothing. You just wanted the weight of it, the scent of leather and smoke wrapped around your skin like a lover’s arms. You wore it because he was still here. Because he had decided to stay. Because, for the first time in nine years, you could.
You climbed into bed first, settling against the headboard. On the other side of the room, the fire reduced to a low, steady glow shining from behind the sturdy cabinet that acted almost like a wall, painting the little nook where you slept in shades of gold and copper. He followed, moving with heavy, honest exhaustion, letting his head fall against your chest, his ear finding the rhythm of your heart, as if it had always known the way back.
Your arms wrapped around him easily, your fingers moving through his hair, unthinking and gentle, the same way they had by the lake so many seasons and mistakes ago. You caught the scent of woodsmoke clinging to the dark strands, and judging by the sheer, bone-deep weight of him against you, you wondered how many nights he’d spent camping under the stars, driven by nothing but the hope of reaching this door.
But now there was only this present—the cooling sweat between your skin, the smell of the rural trail on his hair, and the absolute certainty that you were sharing this bed with him for good.
A long breath left him, deep and heavy, like something long held finally released.
“You remember the general store in Rhodes, darlin’?” He asked, his voice a low rumble against your chest, his fingertips tracing lazy, absent patterns against your ribs.
“The one with the creepy man and the basement?” you asked, your voice drifting. You’d only been to Rhodes a handful of times during that humid summer at Clemens Point. You remembered walking down the dusty main street with Miss Grimshaw, while Mary-Beth whispered a story Arthur had told her about a store clerk who kept a screaming prisoner beneath the floorboards.
“No, that’s the gunsmith. Directly across from him,” he explained, his chest vibrating against you as he spoke. “Well... Pearson runs it now.”
“Mr. Pearson?” Your eyebrows shot up in genuine wonder. You’d stayed in touch with Mary-Beth and Tilly through scattered, precious letters, but the others had vanished into the fog of the last nine years. It was strange, and strangely comforting, to think of the old camp cook crafting his own version of a 'normal' life. “I can’t even picture him behind a counter. Not without an apron and a cleaver.”
“Well, never thought I’d say it... but I miss his cookin’ sometimes.”
You shifted, pulling back just enough to look at him with genuine outrage. “John Marston, what on earth have you been eatin’ these last nine years?” You huffed, a soft laugh catching in your throat, as you remembered the infamously questionable stew that usually tasted like despair. “To say you miss Mr. Pearson’s food? Christ, you must have been eatin’ gravel.”
He let out a low, raspy chuckle that warmed the space between you. “Well, he always did say it was the quality of the ingredients. Not his fault.” He turned his face slightly, nuzzling back into your warmth. “He’s married, by the way. Heard his wife screamin’ at him from the second floor when I went in for cigarettes.”
“Sounds lovely,” you murmured, your fingers finding that soft spot at the nape of his neck again. “What about Karen? You’d ever hear anythin’ about her?”
“No,” he said, his chest rising and falling slowly against you. “No one has. She... she disappeared after the end of it. Seems like she just drifted off into the mist, ain't nobody seen or heard of her since '99.”
“I see,” you said quietly. It was a question you’d been carrying for years, together with Tilly and Mary-Beth, all three of you caught between the need to know and fear of the answer. A small, stubborn part of you liked to imagine her somewhere far from Roanoke Ridge, from the mud and the bottles, perhaps dancing in a dress that caught the light, in a place that she could call her own. But the world was rarely that kind to women like Karen, and the thought of her being lost to the drink, or to the shadows of Beaver’s Hollow, made your heart ache.
“What about Charles Smith?” you asked, shifting the topic before the darkness could settle too deeply. “Have you heard anythin’?”
“Oh, yeah. Sure have,” he said, there was a faint huff in his breath, the ghost of a smile you could feel against your skin. “Lived with him for a while and that old lizard Uncle. He’s fine, headed up north to Canada. Wanted to find a woman, build a life... a real one. Unfortunately for me, and everybody else, he didn’t take Uncle with him.”
Warmth flooded your chest. You’d always liked Charles. At least he was okay. Neither of you were the talkative type, but he carried a silence that felt like a shield, a shield to protect everybody, not just himself. He felt like the kind of man you could trust with your life without a second thought, and in a world like yours, that was a miracle. It was a relief to know he’d found his peace.
“He even helped me build a house... for Jack and...” John faltered. The name hung in the air, heavy and unbidden, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed to say it within these walls. “Abigail.”
“It’s okay,” you said quickly, your hand moving in a steady, reassuring rhythm through his hair. You were reassuring yourself as much as him. Her name still brought a sharp, cold ache to your chest, a lingering insecurity you knew you’d have to either carry or kill if he was going to stay. She was the mother of his child. She was the one who had been there. “John... I...”
You took a deep, bracing breath, the kind that preceded a hard winter.
“You act like you don’t deserve me…” you continued, your voice small but steady in the amber dark. “…but I feel like it’s the other way ‘round.”
He didn't move. He didn't interrupt. He stayed anchored against your heart, listening to its beat. You couldn't see his face, but you could feel his attention, absolute and unwavering.
“When you was taken to Sisika... she didn't stop,” you whispered, the words tasting like ash. “She wouldn't stop beggin’, screamin’ at anyone who’d listen, and Dutch who usually wouldn't, to go get you back. My point is—” You swallowed hard, your fingers trembling slightly in his dark hair. “She fought for you every second you were gone and… I did nothin’.”
He let out a long, heavy exhale—the kind of sigh that sounded like he’d been holding it in for eight years. He turned his face into the warmth of your neck, his stubble grazing your skin.
“I know,” he muttered, his voice gravelly and low. “What she did for me. And I’m grateful for it.”
He went quiet for a beat, the only sound the wind violently rattling the glass.
“She’s the mother of my boy. I’ll always owe her for that, and for everythin’ else she’s done,” he said, blunt and honest. He wasn't going to lie to you. “There’s no but in that.”
He shifted, his weight pressing more firmly into you. “Though we ain’t together as man and woman… I just hope I can thank her by bein’ the father our son deserves.”
The words felt like alcohol against an open wound, stinging, but necessary to clean the air.
“In that cell, I wasn't hopin' for a rescue, darlin’,” he confessed, his voice a soothing whisper against your skin. “I was sure as hell relieved when I saw Sadie and Arthur’s ol’ face, but I wasn’t hopin' for it. I didn't need you to save me. I just needed you to exist. To be breathin' somewhere, safe and far away from all that mess. Even...”
He paused, his body tensing as if he were gathering the courage to face a ghost.
“Even with those damn bruises on your skin,” he finished, his voice faltering, his weight merging with yours. “I... I’m sorry, darlin’. I’m so sorry that bastard was hurtin’ you and I didn’t do a damn thing to stop him. If I ever find him I swear—”
“No, John,” you hushed him softly, your free hand finding his and interlacing your fingers. “Don’t.”
You watched your hands together, his rough and scarred, yours holding him steady. “He ain’t worth it.”
“But darlin—”
“Back then, you was the only one who asked, really asked, how I was doing.” You interjected, as you reminisced. “The only one tryin' to save me from the stupid silence I was so hell-bent on keepin'. You don’t know how much that meant for me back then.” You squeezed his hand a little. “Still does.”
You held his hand, anchored and safe, and you prayed he felt the same. Micah was a ghost you wanted to lay to rest. He was still out there somewhere, a rot in the world, but he was far from this cabin.
You both had things you would have done differently, but time was a river that only flowed one way, no matter how hard you’d tried to swim against it for a decade. All that mattered now was the solid, honest rhythm of his heart beating against yours.
“So,” you said, your voice taking on a teasing lilt to break the heavy air. “Uncle’s helpin' Abigail with the ranch, is he?”
You couldn’t see the image of it, no matter how hard you focused: Uncle, the man who wouldn't even lift a finger to help himself, actually working, shoveling shit or feeding chicken. All he’d ever done was drink, sleep, and "think". “How’s his... what was it he was sick with?”
“Lumbago,” John scoffed into your neck, the vibration of his laugh tickling your skin. “And yeah, still terminal. Just... not fast enough for the rest of us.”
Your soft, genuine amusement tangled together with his, the sound bubbling up and filling the amber shadows of the nook. For a moment, the weight of the past felt lighter, drifted away by the fateful “terminality” of Uncle’s lumbago.
“What do you do out here, darlin’?” He murmured, his voice becoming a low, raspy hum, vibrating against your collarbone. “Say, how you spend your days?” He shifted, settling his weight more comfortably against you, his hand sliding up to rest over your heart, feeling its steady, happy thrum, as if counting the beats.
“Mmm... well, the day always starts with breakfast. Then checkin' on the animals,” you answered, a smile lazily playing on your lips. When you’d woken up on this very bed earlier today, you’d never imagined the night would end with you sharing your boring routines with him. “Sometimes I work on my vegetable patches. Nearest town isn't near at all, so I grow what I can. I hunt sometimes, though I’m still not very good at it. Mostly I survive on what the delivery boy drops every month.”
His thumb traced a slow, increasingly sluggish circle over your chest. His focus was entirely on the sound of your voice, listening as if you were whispering the secrets of the universe into the night.
“After all that’s done... well, there ain't much for entertainment when you live alone on a mountain, John,” you teased gently, your voice softening as a slow, comfortable lethargy began to pull at your limbs. “So I stitch. I bake when I have the flour. I read. And then I always check on the mare one last time before lockin' up for the night.”
“You still have her,” he said, a note of recognition in his voice. “She behavin' herself?”
You nodded against the top of his head. “She’s a good girl. You were right—she just needed a little authority.”
He chuckled, the vibration warm against your skin, his movements becoming heavy and slow.
“She keeps me company. Her and the chickens,” you continued, a flush of happiness warming you even as sleep began to cloud your mind. “This mountain’s pretty quiet during the day, but at night... at night, it comes alive.”
“So what do you do at night then?” he asked, his voice barely more than a breath now.
“Usually just readin’. Mary-Beth’s stories have saved me from my own company more times than I can count,” you joked, the memory of the post office parcels you were always so excited to find on your monthly visits to town, feeling like a distant dream as your eyes drifted shut. “Have you read any? The ones published are great. But sometimes she sends me drafts... the ones they’d never let her publish. They’re my favorite. They can get... a little… passionate.”
He let out a raspy, tired chuckle, his head nuzzling deeper into the crook of your neck. “I ain't much of a reader, you know that. But... do you remember Arthur’s old journal? The one he always carried?” You felt him take a deep, shaky breath, his chest expanding slowly against yours. “He gave it to me before… the end. I’ve been keepin' it up. Turns out, I’m somewhat of a draftsman myself.” He said, words slurring just a little at the edges.
“Are you?” You felt a spark of wonder through the fog of sleep. You’d always known Arthur was private about those pages—journals were intimate, sacred things. To think of John sketching his own world into those same pages, made your heart ache with a new kind of affection. “Will you show me someday?”
“Maybe,” he whispered, his hand giving yours one final, lingering squeeze before his fingers relaxed. “If you’re real nice to me.”
“Well, I think I’ve been nothin’ but nice since you walked through that door, mister.” You said, voice slurring at the edges. His body stilled gradually under your touch, the tension leaving his shoulders as sleep took him without resistance. It had been a long ride. A long day. A long decade.
“Night, darlin’,’” he murmured, already half-gone, cheek warm and heavy against your chest.
You smiled down at him, thumb tracing lazy, lingering circles at his temple. The cabin was hushed around you, save for the restful pop and hiss of the dying fire. Outside, the wind still whispered through the trees, and the stream behind the house still ran cold over mountain stones. Inside the nook, the air smelled of dried lavender from the cabinet and the fading woodsmoke of his skin. You could feel yourself dissolving into your mattress, sinking beneath the thick, heavy quilt you’d stitched yourself last winter.
Your eyelids grew heavy, impossible to open anymore. For a fleeting second, you remembered the stew forgotten on the stove, a cold pot in the dark. It could wait until the morning.
“Night, John.”
-
The breeze rolled in soft and slow through the open window, carrying the lingering warmth of a long summer day without the midday heat. It tugged lazily at the curtains you’d sewn yourself last winter, lifting them just enough to let the orange-pink dusk spill across the wooden floorboards. At this hour, the house always seemed to glow; quiet, golden, and deeply lived-in.
A flicker of worry had just begun to stir in your chest when the distance offered up a familiar gift: the rhythmic, steady gallop of hoofbeats you’d been waiting for all day.
Standing at the sink, you kept scrubbing the tin plate, even as a comfortable warmth tickled all over your skin. It pulled at the corners of your lips, a reaction that hadn't faded once in all these years. No matter how many times you heard the same horse approach, your heart still skipped a beat in greeting. The stubborn potato skins finally surrendered, softened by their long soak in the basin. You watched them slid away just as the sounds of the stable drifted through the window. You heard the familiar snicker of your mare, a greeting to her companion as they were finally reunited for the night.
Behind you, cooling on the table was your apple pie—flaky, uneven, but yours. The kind of pie that cracked where the heat had been too much, oozing syrupy, amber filling along the edges of the pan. The store-wagon boy had dropped the apples a couple days ago, bruised in spots but sweet when baked. You’d dusted the crust with an extra pinch of sugar this time. Because today... today just felt like it deserved a little extra sweetness.
You didn't turn around when the heavy footsteps met the porch floorboards, nor when the front door creaked open, letting in a sudden draft of cooling air that smelled of leather, tobacco, and the sharp, clean scent of rain.
You pretended to be focused on your work as the boots approached, making the familiar wood groan beneath his weight. You lived for this—the quiet surprise of his arrival, the way he’d pull you back against his chest so you could feel the steady drumming of his heart through your spine and the protective warmth of his arms around your waist.
“You’re back,” you greeted, a beaming smile finally breaking across your face. You set down the plate and the sponge, resting your soapy hands on the hard, familiar muscle of his forearms where they crossed over your ribs. You leaned your head back, just to feel him close.
“Darlin’,” he murmured, his lips like sunlight against your cheek, even as his coat brought the biting chill of the mountainside into the room. He smelled of the wilderness and the long trail, a mix of rain, woodsmoke, and that lingering honey you’d come to associate only with him. “Took a little longer than expected. Rain caught me on the way down the pass... thought for a minute I wasn't gonna make it back tonight.”
“I know. I was startin' to worry,” you admitted, leaning back into the comfortable pressure of his embrace before turning your attention back to the sink. The worry was a ghost now, but it still whispered. “I’m glad you pushed through. I made us a pie for dinner.”
“I could smell it from a mile away,” he said, pulling back just enough to reach for the pan. “Reckon I’ll have to steal a bite before we sit down. Hope you don’t mind, I’m starvin’.”
“Course you can,” you laughed. It was for him—all of it. You would bake a thousand pies and spend a thousand years at this sink if it meant he was the one walking through that door. “So... how’s the ranch? How’s Jack?”
You wiped the plate dry, turning around just in time to see him shove a massive, syrupy slice into his mouth.
“Never better,” he said, his voice muffled by the flaky crust.
You smiled, watching the way the firelight caught the softening lines of his scars and the honest, weary contentment in his eyes. He left for a couple weeks every few months to check on the boy and the ranch, and while the first few times had been haunted by the fear that he’d simply vanish back into his old life, those fears had long since withered. He hadn't lied. He hadn't wavered. He lived here, in this small, quiet world on the mountain, and he came back to you without fail.
This wasn't just your cabin anymore; it was his home.
You saw the evidence of it everywhere you looked. His heavy work boots sat caked with mud right next to your smaller ones by the door, their laces tangled together. His worn denim and rough wool shirts hung in the closet, smelling of him and the high country. Across the room, the heavy cedar chest held his guns—the cold steel tucked away, silent and unnecessary in the warmth of this life you now called yours. Even the small table held his presence: a spare spur he’d been meaning to fix, a tin of tobacco, and a stray drawing of a bird he’d sketched in Arthur’s old journal.
The house was full of him. It was messy, it was crowded, and it was perfect.
“Poor Rufus boy got bitten by a rattlesnake while I was there,” he said between bites, his tone a mix of annoyance and affection for the old dog. “He’s fine now, though.”
“Again?” you asked, shaking your head. “You really have to do somethin’ about those snakes, John. That dog doesn’t have many lives left.”
“Gave Uncle a bottle of somethin’ I picked up from the apothecary—garlic and clove, supposedly keeps 'em back. But me buyin’ it and him actually usin’ it are two different things.”
You chuckled, leaning against the counter. Some things never really changed, and there was a strange, deep comfort in the predictable chaos of old habits.
“This is heaven, darlin’,” he said, licking his thumb clean of syrup and stepping closer. He leaned in to peck your lips, leaving them dusted with the fine sugar from the crust. He lingered there for a second, his forehead resting against yours. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”
“Is that true, Mr. Marston?” you teased as you reached up, locking your fingers behind his neck, and pulling him into your space. “Did you miss me... or was it just the pie? Or maybe my...”
You trailed off, the playfulness in your voice dipping into something lower and more honest. His solid arms were around you, his chest a firm wall against yours, and the familiar scent of him was already making the chores of the kitchen feel like a distant memory.
You tilted you neck, offering yourself to him, wishing for the light to fade, the door to be barred, and the world to narrow down to the bed behind the cabinet once more.
“Oh, you don’t know the half, darlin’,” he whispered, his lips leaving wet, delicate trails along your neck, his hot breath fanning the wet skin in delightful ways. You had missed him so damn much too.
He took your lips in a kiss that tasted of apple and cinnamon—a slow, deep reclaim that held all the good and beautiful things left in the world. It was a kiss that yet again promised he wasn't going anywhere.
“Just go wash,” you breathed against his lips, though you didn't let go of his neck just yet. “I’ll set the table.”
Later that evening, as the sun dipped low behind the jagged peaks and a comfortable fullness from the pie settled in your belly, you wandered down to the stream behind your cabin. It was a quiet ritual of yours on these long summer days, when the daylight lingered just long enough to let you laze under the ancient oak and bid a slow farewell to the sun.
The world was a symphony of soft sounds: the silver, rhythmic chatter of the water over the stones and the breeze that moved through the high grass like a long, cooling sigh. You finally cracked open the latest book Mary-Beth had sent, the spine giving a familiar, satisfying creak. You slid through the pages lazily, but the wind was playful, tickling your hair and dancing with the paper, making it nearly impossible to focus on the words.
You didn't mind. The texture of the pages felt nice under your fingertips, but they couldn't compare to the sensation of your other hand, which was buried deep in the dark, thick strands of his hair. It was a little longer than he preferred it these days, though still not as long as the wild mane he’d carried in his twenties. You made a mental note to cut it for him tomorrow morning.
He lay in the grass in a comfortable silence, his head heavy and warm in your lap. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep and steady, harmonizing with the pulse of the mountain. You couldn't tell if he was thinking or sleeping, but it didn't matter. In 1899, a moment like this had been a stolen mercy, a fleeting breath before the storm. Now, it was just a Tuesday. It was just life.
You looked down at him—the scars on his face softened by the golden hour, the tension finally gone from his jaw. You realized then that he wasn't just resting; he was safe.
The book lay forgotten in your hand as you watched the light catch the ripples of the stream. There were no more ghosts to outrun, no more debts to pay, and no more "pulling one’s weight." There was only the cool grass, the song of the water, and the man who had finally come home to stay.
As the first star pricked through the purple silk of the sky, you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He didn't wake, but a small, ghost of a smile touched his lips in his sleep. Soon it would be time to go in, and he could continue his sleep in the warmth of the bed waiting behind the cabinet. But for now, you just watched him.
The day was done. And with him in your arms, you weren't afraid of tomorrow.
—
thank you so much for reading!🫧😊
I’ll go ahead and leave my Ko-fi here in case you’d like to support my writing this way: ko-fi.com/missbubblesoda
And the link to my latest fic in case you feel like reading more from me: a summer’s worth of sugar (arthur x reader)
Description: Orphaned at 14 and desperate to find a way to make ends meet, you stumble upon a boy struggling to build a fence at a ranch called Beecher's hope. Little did you know your unsolicited building advice would land you with a job at the ranch. You become the best of friends, only for life to tug you away. Years later, the 'mysterious' death of a certain government agent brings you back to Blackwater.
(SFW, fluff, angst, friends to lovers)
Warnings: mentions of death, alcoholism, depression.
6k words bc i didn't feel like making separate chapters. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
The wind carried the scent of freshly cut timber and sun-warmed earth as you rode through the valley aimlessly. The land stretched vast and golden before you, the rolling fields dotted with cattle and fenced enclosures.
You rented a hotel room in Blackwater with the spare money you had, spent hours asking anyone and everyone if they were hiring only to be met with the same answer. You figured a stroll around the area would clear your head. Your horse trotted steadily, hooves crunching against the dry dirt road as you approached a homestead marked,
Beecher’s Hope.
You were met with the sight of a young boy around your age, hammering away at a fence post with all the grace of a drunkard. He adorned a worn striped shirt and gray vest, his hair cut short, freckles dusting his face. He looked well off, at least compared to yourself, clad in a torn up dress and muddled boots.
You pulled your horse to a stop, watching as he drove a nail into the wood at an angle that would surely give way in a few months.
With a sigh, you swung yourself off your horse and approached him from outside the fence. You shifted, watching him struggle before one final smack of the hammer against the wood plank finally tempted you to speak,
“That fence is gonna collapse if you keeping hammering it like that.”
The boy startled, nearly dropping the hammer in his hands. He turned sharply to face you, small dark eyes squinting and thin brows furrowed in suspicion. “Who're you?”
You shrugged, “Nobody.”
He huffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, ‘Nobody,’ I don’t need help.” He went back to hammering, but you remained where you stood.
A moment passed before you held out your hand expectantly,
“Come on, just hand it over."
The boy looked at you with suspicion, before passing the hammer despite himself, “What, you some kind of carpenter?”
“No, but my father was.”
The words slipped out before you could catch them, your mind briefly clouding over at images of his tombstone. He hesitated, his earlier annoyance softening into something more uncertain.
“Your folks know you’re out here?” he asked.
“They’re dead.”
You spoke absently, focusing instead on fixing his shoddy work. The silence that followed was thick. He shifted awkwardly, staring at the dirt before mumbling, “Oh. Uhm… I’m sorry.”
You only nodded, hands deftly straightened the plank before nailing it in place
“I guess that looks better, thank you," He cleared his throat, "for helpin' me, I mean."
"No problem," you replied, giving the fence a once-over before your gaze caught something on the ground beside him
You bent down, picking it up, “What’s this?”
The boy’s pale face turned a shade of pink, “Oh, that’s–it’s nothing.”
You suppressed a chuckle at his awkwardness, you were no charmer yourself, but you figured he hadn't much experience talking to people, seeing as there weren't any other kids around.
You flipped it over, inspecting the worn cover. “A western?”
“It’s…stupid,” he muttered, scuffing his boot against the dirt.
“I love westerns,” You mused.
He seemed to perk up a bit, “Really?”
“Sure,” you smiled, flipping through the pages, “I used to have a ton of these back home.”
The boy scratched the back of his neck, shifting back and forth for a moment, “You can have it, if you want.”
You grinned, tucking the book into the bag on your saddle.
“Thanks, uh-"
“Jack,” he said, “Jack Marston.”
You mounted your horse, “I’ll make sure to bring it back to you, Jack Marston.”
With not much to do, you returned a few times after that, sometimes watching Jack work on things from behind the fence, other times offering unsolicited advice.
“That beam’s not level.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“No you don’t.”
Jack would groan, mutter something under his breath, but inevitably, he’d adjust whatever you pointed out or let you take the reins altogether.
“So, you do all this stuff at home too?” he asked, stepping aside as you fixed the wheel on a broken wagon.
You laughed, shaking your head, “Don’t have one, not anymore at least.” Your parents were so neck deep in loans, the bank had taken everything away before their bodies even hit the ground.
Jack’s expression sobered slightly, but he nodded, filing that piece of information away without prying.
The next time you rode up to Beecher’s Hope, you noticed Jack standing stiffly beside an older man. He was tall, skin weathered under Blackwater's sun which only emphasized the lighter scars across his face. He had the same dark and deep set eyes as the boy next to him.
You approached, despite feeling a bit nervous under his firm stare, “Afternoon, sir.”
“Afternoon,” he smiled, tipping his hat, “I’m John, the boy’s father.”
You nodded, glancing between them. “Figured you were. You two look a lot alike.”
John snorted, giving Jack’s shoulder a rough pat, “Poor kid.”
“Pa," Jack griped.
You looked to Jack who avoided your gaze, suddenly finding the dirt beneath him very interesting. Maybe he told his father about you, maybe he was here to shoo you off like everyone else did.
"My son here tells me your fairly decent at fixin' things, and I’d love to hire you if you're interested.”
You were torn from your thoughts, a job? You couldn’t remember the last time anyone gave you a chance at finishing your sentence let alone give you a job offer.
“Wait-really?” You asked, looking at him like he'd grown two heads.
“Really,” John replied before he hesitated for a moment, “but I ain’t sure about our extra hand bein’ a little girl. I mean, what’re you, twelve?”
"Fourteen. If you’re anything like your son, you’re gonna need a lot more than an extra hand.” You chuckled, motioning to Jack who sputtered while John barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “You got some nerve, kid.”
“So, you hirin’?” You asked, clasping your hands together, trying your best to contain your excitement.
John looked at you for a moment, before relenting, “What the hell,” he extended his hand, “We’ll clear out a room for you. You can move in soon as it’s ready.”
You took his hand, “Thank you, Mr. Marston.”
You hurried toward your horse, mounting it before looking at Jack,
“Sorry for throwin' you under the bus Jack, but hey, it worked!” You grinned.
"Sure did," John mused, placing a playfully rough hand on Jack's shoulder.
Jack huffed, as he rolled his eyes and shrugged him off.
As you rode off, John turned to his son, “I like her! That attitude...she's gonna give you a hard time, son.”
“I hope not,” Jack exhaled as they head back into the house.
Life at Beecher’s Hope quickly settled into a rhythm, one that felt strangely comforting despite the unfamiliarity of it all. Mornings began with the golden sun spilling over the horizon, its warmth chasing away the chill of dawn.
You would wake early, often beating Jack to the barn. The both of you bickered over who did daily chores the best, often asking John to choose and he’d dismiss you both, muttering about how he’s getting too old for this.
John quickly learned that, despite his initial reservations, you were more than capable.
He’d often find you working on the things he told you not to in case you'd 'mess it up', shaking his head in amusement when you proved to be just as stubborn as he was.
“Y’know, I was worried about bringin’ you on. Thought maybe you’d up and run off after seeing the workload," He remarked one afternoon as you helped him shovel the barn, "Or Uncle," he added.
You chuckled, “it’s going to take a lot more than a lazy old drunk to get me out of here, Mister.”
He chuckled, giving you a playful jab as he went to fetch some more hay.
Mrs. Marston, on the other hand, had taken to treating you like a daughter. When you weren’t outside helping John, she fussed about you needing to sit or lie down. It was nice having a motherly figure after being on your own for so long, but being as restless as you were, you insisted on keeping busy with her too.
“You’re makin' things real easy for us.” She grinned one evening as the two of you worked on fixing up some dinner.
“And Jack’s taken a real liking to you.” She added quietly as you stirred the stew.
You glanced up, cheeks warming slightly, “Oh–well he’s a good friend...real smart too.”
“Mhm,” Abigail hummed, voice tinged with an amusement you tried your best to ignore.
Jack, true to his word, really had become one of your closest companions. In the evenings, when work was done and the sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, the two of you would race each other to the hillside near the house, books in hand.
Sometimes you read aloud to one another, breaking into silly voices, other times you simply sat in comfortable silence, flipping through pages until the light outside dimmed.
“You’ ever thought about writing your own stories?” Jack asked one night as the two of you lay on your backs in the hayloft, staring at the rafters above.
You thought about it for a moment, “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Jack sat up, “We can figure one out together?”
Just then a little memory came back to you,
“My Ma' and I used to play this game where we'd come up with stories by finishing each other's sentences."
“That sounds fun," Jack said.
"Yeah," you reminisced, before scooting closer, "Okay, you start.”
Jack nodded, eyes searching around as he thought for a moment, “Once upon a time in the West…” he began.
“There were two cowboys," you continued.
"And their names were…” Jack looked at you expectantly.
You paused, before snickering, “John and Uncle.”
The two of you’d laugh your heads off over the hilariously awful protagonist duo, mustering up a fairly compelling plot if it weren't for the odd predicaments and crude dialogue sprinkled in between.
Your fun was interrupted when Abigail's piercing voice hollered at the both of you from the porch to come inside, scolding you two for staying out so late. The both of you would obey, entering the house straight faced, bursting out laughing the second she turned away.
On warmer nights, you would stretch out in the grass just beyond the house, gazing up at the sky. The stars stretched across the heavens, twinkling in the dark like tiny beacons. Jack would point out constellations, his voice quiet as he recounted the stories behind them.
“This one here,” he murmured, tracing the shape of Orion’s Belt with his finger, “Pa’ used to tell me it was a hunter…”
He would ramble on about the ancient stories of the constellations, his voice fading into the hum of cicadas and crickets as the world grew darker around you, slipping into the comfort of your dreams.
2 years later...
“You know, you keep brushing that horse any harder, poor thing's gonna be bald.”
Jack scoffed, not even bothering to look up from the mare he was tending to, “Oh, I’m sorry, did I ask for an expert opinion?”
You smirked, dragging a brush through your own horse’s mane. You had half a mind to flick some hay at him, but you let it slide, for now.
For a few moments, the only sound was the steady strokes of brushes and the occasional rustle from the horses shifting in their stalls. It was comfortable, the back-and-forth, the both of you never letting the other get too comfortable. As fun as it was, things just felt calmer on that night.
Jack was the first to break the lull. “You ever think about the future, like ten years from now?”
You were caught off guard at the suddenness of the question but answered nonetheless, “I don’t even know what’s gonna happen ten days from now.”
He was quiet for a moment, running a hand down the mare’s neck as he glanced at you.
“I do,” he admitted. “I think about it a lot. See myself bein’ a lawyer.”
You blinked. Of all the things you expected him to say; writer, rancher, bounty hunter...a lawyer wasn’t one of them.
“A lawyer?”
“Why not," he shrugged, "Ma' always told me I'd be one cause I like reading and arguing,” he added, nudging you with his shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess that does makes sense," You considered.
"With all that money, I could take care of Ma and Pa. I can buy you a little work shack," he pondered, "Have our own carpenter on the ranch.” He chuckled.
You let out a small breath at his words, he was so optimistic, sometimes it bordered on naive, but the sentiment warmed your heart nonetheless.
A small laugh left you before you could stop it, "I'll be following in Uncle's footsteps, free loadin' off of y'all."
Jack looked at you pointedly and you snickered, “I’m only kiddin'.”
"You better be," Jack huffed, but there was no real heat behind the words.
You spoke after another moment of silence, “Never really thought about all that though. Guess I figured the future wasn’t really mine to think about.”
Jack stilled, “You don’t have to think that way. You’re gonna be here, with me.”
It was quick, unfiltered, and the second he realized what he’d just said, a flush crept up his neck. He turned away, suddenly very invested in adjusting the saddle on the mare.
If there was one thing both you and Jack feared, it was being alone, abandoned. He guessed that's what made him want to help you all those years ago,
“Really?” You asked.
“I’m not just gonna leave you.” he muttered with a shrug.
You felt a flush of your own creep up on your face, it was nice having someone who cared about you the way Jack did, “Thanks."
That was all you needed to say.
The both of you startled when you heard John clear his throat from behind you both.
Jack jumped so fast he nearly knocked over the bucket beside him. You turned, and there he was, leaning against the barn door, something somber in his eyes.
“Didn't mean to startle you two, but I need to talk to you,” John said as he approached.
You exchanged a glance with Jack before setting your brush aside, “What’s goin’ on?”
John sighed, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulled out a folded letter, turning it over in his hands before finally looking at you, “Got a letter from a woman who claims to be your aunt. Says she’s been lookin’ for you.”
Your stomach twisted.
“She lives near Strawberry now. Found out what happened to your folks and she wants to take you in.” He spoke carefully, as if not wanting to overwhelm you, “Plan on riding to her cabin and seeing if she’s safe, you know, right in the head and all.” He added, attempting to make you smile but your mind was elsewhere.
Your world, the one that had just started feeling stable, tilted all over again. Sure, you loved your aunt, she was kind to you growing up, but she was always moving around, 'free spirited' as your mother liked to put it. You sighed shakily, dreading the thought of having to start over again.
John looked at you with something almost apologetic in his eyes, before he gently wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Let's talk some more in the house.”
You nodded, feeling Jack’s gaze on you, but were unable to meet it just yet. The future, once distant and uncertain, was suddenly pressing down on you, demanding yet another change you weren’t sure you were ready to make.
The morning air was crisp as you stood near the packed wagon. John was finishing up putting the last of your things in the back while Abigail, Uncle, and Jack gathered nearby to see you off.
You had come to terms with leaving. The Marston's had given you a home when you needed it most, and you would always be grateful, but you were eager to be with the last of your family.
Still, the thought of leaving Jack stung the most. He had been your first real friend, and now, you weren’t sure when you’d see him again.
“Aw, come here,” Abigail murmured, pulling you out of your thoughts and into a tight embrace.
“Won’t have anyone to complain to about these boys anymore,” She chuckled as she pulled away, wiping the corners of her glistening eyes.
Uncle tutted, “You’ll do that with the girl gone anyway!"
Abigail smacked the old man on the shoulder as you and Jack shared a humorous look. As useless and odd as he was, you were going to miss Uncle.
"Wagon's all packed," John grunted, easing himself up the steps to hold onto the reigns.
You nodded, about to leave when Jack stepped forward, “Here! I almost forgot,” he said.
You looked down to see him holding out a small, leather-bound journal, “For the trip. Don’t open it ‘til you get there.”
“Alright,” you took it carefully, before lightly tapping his chest with the book, “But you better write to me.”
He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Only if you promise to try and visit.”
You nodded, “I promise.”
With one last glance at them all, Abigail’s sad smile, Uncle’s lazy wave, and Jack’s uncertain look, you climbed into the wagon.
The journey to North was fairly quiet. Mr. Marston wasn’t much for conversation, but his presence was always calming.
He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noticing you were quieter than usual, before speaking up, “You know, I know a thing or two about startin’ over. Hell, I’ve lived more lives than I can keep count of.”
He tutted, head tilting as if replaying the past few years over in his mind, "Took a while, but I found my place," he mused, before looking over at where you sat, "You will too, I know it."
“I hope so,” you said, looking at the trees whirring by.
When you finally arrived at your aunt’s house, she was already outside waiting, arms open and eyes shining with unshed tears.
After greeting her and brushing off her endless praise, John helped you unload, carrying your trunk inside.
When it came time for him to leave, you were unsure of how to convey all that was on your mind. You were going to miss him, his family, the ranch. You were grateful, scared, uncertain.
You opted for throwing your arms around his middle, hugging him tightly, not ready to let go just yet.
He stiffened for only a second before returning the embrace, patting your back gently as he sensed you're anxiety,
“Gonna be just fine, kid.” He murmured.
Although you felt a lump form in your throat, your muscles relaxed as you nodded. Mr. Marston knew what it was like to be in your shoes, always had a way of reminding you it wasn’t the end of the world. You were going to miss that.
After you pulled away, he tapped the brim of your hat with a deft hand, “You stay out of trouble now, Miss.”
You fixed your now crooked hat, “You too, Mr. Marston.”
He gave you a small salute before heading off, leaving you standing at the doorway of your new home before your aunt coaxed you to come inside and eat.
After settling in later that night, you finally pulled out that journal Jack had given you. Flipping it open, you grinned at the first few words on the first page,
‘Once upon a time in the west there were two cowboys named John and Uncle…’
Followed by endless pages full of your shared stories, some silly, some a little more serious. Some had little sketches in the margins, others had notes about how he’d come up with an idea, all carefully written in Jack’s handwriting.
You ran your fingers over the ink, before plopping down on your bed to read the journal in it's entirety.
3 years later...
The night air was thick with the scent of pine and damp earth as you sat on the porch beside your aunt, the distant rustling of trees filling the silence between you.
“You’ve been quiet tonight,” she noted, sipping from her tin cup. “Got something on your mind?”
You hesitated for a moment before sighing, glancing down at the warm tea cupped between your hands. “Just thinkin' about how beautiful this place is,” you admitted. “It’s peaceful. But-”
“But you still miss Blackwater,” she finished knowingly.
A sheepish smile tugged at your lips, “Yeah. It was desolate, sure, but it had its own charm y’know?”
Your aunt hummed in understanding, setting her cup down on the railing.
“I read something in the paper the other day,” she began, stretching her legs out in front of her. “Some government agent from Blackwater was shot dead. A Ross, I believe?”
Your breath caught in your throat and you turned sharply to your aunt, “What?”
She yawned, seemingly unaware of your inner turmoil, “Edgar Ross, I think it was? Paper said he was gunned down.”
Jack.
Your mind reeled back to the long-forgotten letters, the last few that you had sent without a reply. A quiet void had replaced his once-constant updates on Uncle's shenanigans, new books he’d read, and notes informing you that ‘Ma’ and Pa’ say Hi.’
You thought back to your aunt breaking the news to you, about Mr. and Mrs. Marston's death. An unbearable grief you hadn’t felt in the years since your parents' death had settled in your chest the day you learned they were really gone.
Jack had always admired the heroes in those dime novels, the men who avenged their fathers with unwavering conviction. If Jack had truly done this, if he had killed Ross, what did that mean for him now?
You swallowed thickly, trying to steady your voice,
“Do you know anything else?”
“Not much. They found his body near some riverbank.” She leaned back into her chair with a soft sigh,
“Whoever did it, I can’t say I blame ‘em."
You stared at her, startled. She glanced at you with a small, knowing smile,
"What goes around comes around, right?" She chuckled, taking another sip of her tea.
You looked away, your throat tightening as you turned your gaze back to the endless stretch of stars above.
A few weeks later your aunt had gone on a trip, so you decided to ride out to Blackwater while she was gone. You wanted to find out about Jack’s whereabouts from some of the locals first, not wanting to ride all the way to Beecher's Hope only to find it empty. After asking around and getting no clear answer, you decided to check the saloon though you hadn’t much hope he was going to be there.
Laughter and drunken murmurs filled the air, the clatter of glasses punctuating the atmosphere. You weaved through the crowd, before sitting down at a table and scanning faces for what seemed like hours.
You got up and sighed in defeat. Then, just as you were about to turn around and leave, someone barreled into you. You flinched as a cold splash of liquor soaked into your coat sleeve.
“Watch it, lady!” A voice droned.
You bristled, looking up, “Excuse me?”
The man, taller, rough around the edges, looked down at you, eyes shadowed beneath the brim of his hat. You could see the freckles dusting his nose, small beard covering his jaw.
That voice is familiar, and his hat, isn’t that Mr. Marston’s? You thought.
His lips quirked up as he leaned in closer, breath reeking of liquor, "You know, look just like a girl I used to know!" he drawled over the saloons noise, words slurring together slightly.
You rolled your eyes, taking off your stained coat, "I bet I do."
"Your doin’ terrible things to my hormones, miss-Woah!"
He was cut off when you grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards the exit. You needed to get this boy in his right mind. Quickly, before any more god awful pick-up lines graced your ears.
"Someone's eager," He slurred, tripping over his feet.
“Eager to smack you," you muttered, pushing past a few curious onlookers, "We’re talkin’ outside.”
He staggered as you pulled him through the swinging saloon doors, the cool night air slapping you both in the face.
Before he could get another word in, you took the hat off his head and gripped the long hair at the nape of his neck, before dipping his head into a bucket of water just outside the saloon doors.
He sputtered, gasping for his breathe as you pulled him back up for a breather, "The hell! What’s wrong with you, Lady?!"
"It's not Lady!" you groan. He winced, trying to dodge your hand as you smacked his shoulder.
"It's me," you said, sharply gesturing to your face.
His breath hitched, Adam’s apple bobbing as recognition dawned on him, "I-you..." he trailed off.
You crossed your arms over your chest as you took his state in fully, eyes scanning him disapprovingly.
You barely recognized him. His once-boyish face was hardened, sharper, with stubble covering his jaw and upper lip. His hair was longer, messier, his clothes wrinkled and worn like he hadn’t cared for them in weeks. And his eyes were dark and tired, swimming in hollowness.
“What are you doin’ here?” He asked, tone suddenly laced with annoyance.
“I could ask you the same,” you shot back. “I wrote to you! Why didn’t you answer me?”
Jack exhaled sharply, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, as if the weight of your presence was too much,
“Jesus,” he muttered, “I don’t know…I just—I didn’t think you’d—” He groaned, rubbing his soaked face as if still trying to catch up.
You held back, maybe you were being a bit harsh. After all, he was clearly unwell, and here you were berating him, “I'm—sorry for yelling,"
You took notice of the dark purple circles under his eyes, as he blinked rapidly to escape his haze.
"Let's just get you home, alright?"
His shoulders tensed.
It was like a switch flipped. Whatever confusion or vulnerability had cracked through, vanished in an instant.
His expression hardened, and he took a deliberate step back, shaking his head. “No. No, I don’t need this.”
“Need what?”
“This,” he snapped, gesturing wildly between you. “You showin’ up here, lookin’ at me like that, like you got some kinda right to fix me.”
Your brows furrowed. “I never said—”
Jack scoffed, jaw clenched. “I didn’t ask you to come here, alright? I don’t need your pity or advice—just leave me alone!”
You swallowed, before shaking your head. “Come on, you don’t mean that.”
Jack laughed, but it was hollow, bitter. “Yeah? Maybe I do.”
He turned, already stepping away. “Just—Go home, alright?”
He was halfway up the steps to the saloon, eager to disappear back into the dimly lit haze of liquor and forget this ever happened.
For a moment you thought to hell with it all, unable to see past the angry shell of a boy you used to know.
But then you remembered how bitter you were when you lost everything, how Jack and his family seemingly put things back together.
And now, that same boy who’d ramble about the constellations till you fell asleep, the one who’d make you laugh over silly stories, and stammer over his words when he got nervous, had no one left.
The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them,
“I love you, you fool!”
Jack froze.
“I don’t care how much you don’t wanna see me,” you added quietly.
He turned to face you, expression unreadable.
You looked away, blinking back tears, “You said you weren’t gonna leave me, so I’m not gonna leave you either.”
Jack shifted back and forth, as if thinking of what to do now, before exhaling sharply as he walked past you without another word, heading toward the stables instead.
You watched him go dejectedly, you knew you shouldn't have come here.
Suddenly, he turned around like he was half expecting you to follow him, faltering when he was met with the sight of you standing in the same spot.
“I know my backside’s real purdy, but maybe you can get a better look at if you actually follow me.” He said, though his tone was gentler than it was moments ago as he rested his hands on his hips.
You perked up a bit, realizing he wasn’t just sending you away, before shaking your head in amusement at his words.
“Where we going?” You asked quietly as the two of you mounted your horses.
“Home.” He grumbled, shooting you a half hearted glare.
“If you weren’t so drunk, I’d smack that attitude right out of you.” You huffed, spurring your horse on.
“I guess I’ll just stay drunk then!” he hollered from behind you.
In an odd way, your little verbal sparring match made things feel a little more like old times.
Beecher’s Hope was a graveyard of memories.
The fences had rotted, weeds tangled through the soil where crops used to be, and the barn doors hung open, swaying in the wind. It was silent now, save for the distant hoot of an owl and the occasional rustling of the trees. It was like ranch had died with Uncle and Mr. and Mrs. Marston.
"Happy now?" He asked, motioning to the ranch.
“Jolly,” you muttered under your breath.
You walked the barn as Jack released a heavy sigh, trailing behind you silently as you climbed up the barn ladder to the hayloft.
He sat with his back against the wall, knees bent. For a while, the two of you just listened to the wind howl through the cracks in the barn walls.
Then you broke the silence.
“I heard about Ross.”
Jack’s jaw tensed, “Don't know what you’re talkin’ about.”
You raised an eyebrow, noticing the familiar way his dark eyes flitted around whenever he was fibbing, “You’re a terrible liar.”
His shoulders slumped, “Ain’t no way they’ll trace it back to me. I made sure.”
You studied him for a moment before sighing, “Did I ever tell you my parents were killed by a couple of thieves,” you asked. Jack turned to you then, looking fully sober for the first time that night,
“God, I just–I wanted them dead. Thought it’d make things right. But when I saw them hang, all I felt was empty and even angrier than before," you sighed, feeling your chest ache at the memory.
You tapped your boot with his, "But then I met you.”
Jack flushed a little under the brim of his hat, swallowing thickly as he kept his gaze down at his hands.
“I guess revenge isn't as glorious as those storybook heroes make it,” You pondered as you looked out the barn window.
Jacks voice was barely above a whisper, “Ma used to always say something like that that to Pa.”
He huffed, reminiscing her words, repeating them aloud, “Stop tryna be some damn storybook hero.”
You chuckled, remembering her piercing voice and John's sarcasm.
“You really are like Mr. Marston.”
Jack scoffed, but there was a hint of a smile there, the one that made his eyes spark a bit, hidden beneath all that bitterness.
You grinned as memories of the two of them standing in front of you years ago flooded back, “I thought you’d stay scrawny forever, but now you’re bigger than he was. What the hell do they put in the beer at that saloon?”
Jack groaned, suppressing the grin tugging at his lips as he took off his hat and ruffled his hair tiredly, “I don't know, but it's got a hell of a hold on me."
You sat up a little, “You won't even have time think about that saloon anymore."
Jack furrowed his brows, looking at you in confusion.
"We're starting work on this place tomorrow, so I'm hoping you finally learned how to build,” You clarify, giving him a pointed look.
Jack huffed, “How couldn’t I? With you annoyin' me about it all the ti—.”
You quickly gripped the hat sitting on his lap and began whacking him with it as he dodged you, apologizing through breathy chuckles—you had missed that sound.
You finally relented as the two of you let out the last of your giggles, “That was for all those nasty pick up lines at the bar.”
“Sorry,” Jack muttered quietly, face flushing a little.
“I mean, seriously, where the hell’d you learn all that?” You tutted.
“Uncle,” Jack grumbled, “I only remember all the gross stuff he taught me when I’m out of it.”
“I can tell,” you chuckled softly.
He yawned, running a hand down his face.
“You wanna head to the house?” you ask, ready to get up, but he grabbed your arm lightly to stop you.
“No, I'm good. I mean—I don’t sleep too well anyways.” He admitted, avoiding your gaze. You felt a little jab of sympathy go through your chest at his confession.
Without a word, you reached into your bag and pulled out a book, flipping to the first page,
“Let’s read,” you murmured, laying down to plop your head on a small bail of hay, “Like we used to.”
Jack hesitated, still stiff.
You turned to the first page before looking at him expectantly, “You're just going to sit there and stare?"
With a reluctant sigh, he laid back beside you, shifting uncomfortably as he kept a careful distance. But as you began reading, he felt himself relax.
The words blurred together, your voice a gentle hum in the quiet night. He fought it at first, but sleep crept up on him, tugging his eyelids lower and lower until his head slumped against your shoulder.
By the time you reached the end of the first chapter, Jack had finally let go. His breath evened out, the tension in his body easing as exhaustion won out.
You glanced down at him, his breath steady, scowl fading away as the faintest trace of peace settled over his face. He looked better like this, closer to the boy you used to know.
You yawned, closing your eyes and falling into a deep sleep of your own.
The morning light filtered through the cracks in the barn, casting long streaks of gold over the hay-strewn floor. Jack stirred sluggishly, his body heavy with sleep, head pounding and mind foggy from exhaustion.
For a moment, he almost believed it had all been a dream. That you'd never come back and just about poured your heart out to him, that he’d just drank too much and fantasized the whole damn thing.
But then he felt it, a warm weight on his chest.
His eyes cracked open, and there you were, head resting right over his heart.
Jack stilled, barely breathing. Then he sighed, trying to calm the hammering of his heart under your head.
After a moment, he craned his head a little to look down at you, observing in detail now that the cloudiness of the alcohol had worn off.
You’d grown, filled out your features beautifully, but in so many ways, you were still the same girl he was familiar with. Stubborn and too damn persistent for your own good.
Jack groaned as memories of the night before came flooding back. He had been such a drunken asshole back at the saloon and yet, you came back and…loved him.
He cursed himself for not saying it back right then and there. Though he couldn't understand why a girl like you saw anything in him, he knew he felt the same way.
I’ll just have to find the right moment to say it back. He thought to himself.
————
Four Weeks Later…
Jack hadn’t touched a bottle in weeks. It wasn’t easy, particularly in the first few days. When he wasn't sluggishly moving around, he was abrasive. One day he snapped out of nowhere at the slightest disagreement, only to be overwhelmed by guilt right after seeing you wince slightly before walking off to tend the animals.
You knew it was probably a mixture of the withdrawals and grief, so you'd distance yourself on those days, but it hurt nonetheless. Jack never got that way in the past, sure you bickered, but he always made sure to not cross the line or raise his voice.
He made it up to you by rising early and getting a head start on his share of work so he could finish yours by noon. He even walked to a nearby lake where a few Lillies grew, plucking a few and leaving them on the table for you. He’d shrug, saying he just so happened to 'have the extra time' when you'd thank him.
Now, there was hardly any time to sit and dwell on the past. His body was sore in ways he hadn’t felt in years, but his mind felt clearer than it had in a long time and the ranch was beginning to look as lively as it did before. He had even gone back to reading, something he’d neglected in his haze of grief.
He sat on the porch, squinting as he read his book under afternoon sun. It was a romance, not something he normally reached for, but he liked it.
Maybe it was because protagonists reminded him of the two of you. Two childhood friends who drifted apart only to find each other again years later. There was something comforting about it, something familiar.
“Come on, Jack! These fences ain’t gonna fix themselves.”
Jack set the book aside, “You ever think maybe they should? Damn things break every other week.”
You shot him a look. “And whose fault is that?”
Jacked rolled his eyes but followed you out anyway.
You worked side by side, driving nails into wood, replacing broken beams.
You were giving him grief about a crooked post when Jack paused, leaning against it with an amused smile, "I was going to say this reminds me of when we met, but I don't remember you being this insufferable.”
“That's funny because you're just as useless as I remember," You retorted, taking the hammer from him.
Jack took notice to the way you bit the inside of your lip to hide a grin. He definitely noticed the way his heart lurched when your hand accidentally brushed against his, the way the air between you felt heavier than it used to.
By the time you finished, it was growing dark. Jack leaned against the post, exhaling slowly. You did the same, standing just close enough for your shoulders to touch.
As he watched the sun dipping below the horizon, setting the sky ablaze with reds and golds, casting the endless fields in front of him in a similar hue, he thought to what his father told him years ago when he'd first moved here.
"There's a lot of ugly in this world. But there sure as hell is a lot of beauty! You'll see it better when you get older. It's tough at your age. Just land and light. But to me it's...it's life."
It's life.
For the first time, he was beginning to understand what that meant.
He was torn from his thoughts when you broke the silence,
"Saw you reading a book earlier, what's it about?"
He huffed, “A romance, if you can believe that.”
You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the thought of his broody self reading a romance.
"Well do you wanna know or not?" Jack asked exasperatedly.
"I'm sorry, continue—please," you said, regaining your composure.
He rolled his eyes, gaze fixed on the sunset. “It’s about these two childhood friends. Went their separate ways, and ended up finding each other again.”
You glanced at him, teasing smile faltering just a little, “Oh, that actually sounds nice.”
“It is," He nodded, swallowing thickly.
“I—I think I like it because…well,” He hesitated, tapping his fingers nervously against the wooden beam behind him, “It reminds me of us. The way they can’t help but come back to each other.”
Your breath caught when Jack pushed himself off the post to face you fully. He opened his mouth, then closed it again with a shake of his head. He had so much to say, but he didn’t know where to start.
Instead, he leaned down and closed the space between you.
You barely had time to think before his lips landed on yours, soft and warm and real. You tensed for half a second, hands stilling mid air. But then you melted, reaching your arms around his shoulders and holding on like he was the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.
When you finally pulled apart, you avoided his gaze as you tried to calm the red hot blood rushing to your face.
“I love you.” He blurted out, eyes searching for yours.
That didn’t help your predicament.
“Took you long enough,” You huffed, feeling your heart beat out of your chest.
“I know,” He mumbled under his breath, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know how to—“
"Don't be, I love you too.” You said, placing a gentle peck on his cheek, "I’m just messing with you."
He nodded, shoulders untensing as he leaned back on the post and lightly kicked at the dirt under his boots.
That made you smile, he always did that when he was flustered.
After a few moments, the two of you decided it was time to warm up inside the cabin, maybe eat some dinner.
As he watched you enter the house, still a bit jittery from the kiss, he was hit with a familiar feeling, one that warmed his heart differently.
After his parents died, the cabin was just a house, an empty void. With you it felt lively, comforting. It felt like home.
Jack chuckled softly, wondering if that was how his father felt seeing his mother enter the same house he built after their time apart.
He stopped in his tracks as you disappeared inside the kitchen, noticing something peeking out of your bag on the couch near the fireplace.
Jack hesitated, before plopping down on the couch and gently pulling it free, his fingers running over the worn cover. He flipped it open, scanning the familiar ink on the first few pages by the light of the hearth.
A quiet, almost disbelieving chuckle left him, his lips curling into a small, rare smile.
There it was,
'Once upon a time in the West...'
thank u for reading `(*>﹏<*)′ i got a lot of Jack requests, so i hope this fic did them justice.
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You loved to kiss John’s face. It was the first thing you did when they had found him on the side of that mountain in Colter, nearly dead from the cold and his wolf attack. You kissed his unharmed cheek gently, feeling the coldness of his skin.
He didn’t protest it much then, no matter how many times you did it. But now that he was better, his scars had healed, and the cold turned to warmer weather, he was more fidgety about it.
You loved how he would squirm and mutter little complaints, but you knew he loved it with the way he’d lean into the touch of your lips against his cheek, or temple. You’d catch the softest shade of pink at the tops of his ears if he had his hair brushed back.
“Come on now, cut it out.” He twitched his shoulder as you giggled while kissing around his face for what seemed like the millionth time. It was a lazy afternoon, you and John lay in bed together to pass some time.
John groaned and buried his head into the crook of your neck, muffling it, when you kissed him again. You giggled and wrapped your arms tighter around him, throwing your leg lazily over his hip. “But I think you’re so handsome, Mr. Marston.” You cooed teasingly at him while your fingers played with his hair.
He hummed low and your breath hitched when you felt him place his lips upon your neck. He began kissing up it, teeth nipping at the sensitive skin before licking over where he nipped you. You shuttered, hands gripping at his shirt.
Your eyes met briefly before he crashed his lips down onto yours. His tongue licked into your mouth, making you softly moan against him and roll your hips. John pulled way with a laugh, pecking your lips a few times as you whined for him to continue.
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you something to busy that mouth.” He smirked.
Summary: John finds himself torn between the love you’ve built together and the ghost of the man who made it all possible, wondering if he’ll ever be enough.
wc: 2,313
Warnings: a little smut, angst, fluff, missing Arthur, body worship, hurt comfort
ao3 link
Inspired by Tyler, the Creator's song "Like Him (feat. Lola Young)" as well as a phenomenal edit I saw on tiktok the other day from @ arthursnipple with this song.
"That's it, baby," he rasped, pounding into you with little restraint. "Take what ya need."
He could feel you tightening around him, your nails digging into his back as you urged him on. And God help him, he wanted to give you everything - to make you scream his name until your throat was raw.
"You like that, sweetheart?" he grunted, angling his hips to hit that sweet spot deep inside you.
John could feel his own release building, the pressure coiling tighter and tighter at the base of his spine. But he held back, determined to bring you to the brink first. He wanted to watch you come undone on his cock, to see the look on your face as you shattered in his arms. So he repositions your leg over his shoulder before doubling his efforts, his hips snapping into yours with brutal force as he watches your breasts bounce perfectly. Your lover pressed open-mouthed kisses to your ankle as you begged for him to keep going, to keep filling you up, just as you had done so many times before.
“That’s my baby,” he grunted, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
You moved your hand to cover his on your waist, and the soft contact caused him to meet your gaze.
Do I look like him?
The thought flashed across his mind faster than he could realize, and the startling thought caused a stutter in his hips. You pretend not to notice as he softly shakes the thought from his mind, but his eyes left yours as quickly as he found them.
John's hips snapped forward again, driving into you with renewed intensity. The bed frame creaked and groaned beneath you, threatening to give way under the force of your passion. But John barely noticed, too consumed by the unease he suddenly felt deep in his chest.
“Cum for me, baby,” he commanded, his voice rough with desire and desperation, “I wanna feel you fall apart on my cock.” And with a final, intense thrust of his hips, you shattered in his arms, body convulsing as waves of pleasure washed over you. John worked you through it all, prolonging your climax until you were boneless and completely spent beneath him. After allowing you a moment to catch your breath, he pulls out of you and quickly finds the bandana on his nightstand to wipe up his mess. He’s slow and deliberate about it, studying every curve of your body while avoiding your gaze.
“You didn’t finish,” you whisper.
“That’s okay, sweetheart.”
-
The night was still, the only sounds coming from the soft rustle of the wind through the trees and the rhythmic creak of the old wood frame beneath the weight of the two of you. The room was dark save for the faint glow of the moonlight filtering through the thin curtains. He couldn’t sleep. He rarely does these days.
His gaze fixed on the ceiling, his thoughts heavy and tangled. Your hand rested lightly on his chest, your fingers curling against the fabric of his shirt. A gesture so small, but one that made his heart ache with the weight of everything he didn’t know how to say.
You were here, with him, at Beecher’s Hope. After everything—after the chaos of the gang, the bloodshed, the loss—you had chosen to stay. Chosen him. And yet, as John lay there, staring into the darkness, he couldn’t shake the feeling that someone else’s shadow lingered between you.
Arthur.
He hadn’t spoken the name out loud in years, but it lived in his mind like an uninvited guest. The man who had saved him, the man who had been everything he wasn’t—steady, loyal, selfless. The man you had loved first.
John had never blamed you for it. How could he? Arthur was easy to love in ways John never felt he was. He had been your rock, your safe haven, in the chaos of the life you’d all been trapped in. John wasn’t blind to the fact that if Arthur hadn’t been taken by sickness, hadn’t sacrificed everything for the people he cared about, you wouldn’t be lying here now. Not with him.
His chest tightened at the thought, and his free hand moved to rest over yours, his fingers brushing the back of your hand as if to reassure himself that you were real.
John had always felt like a man playing a role he wasn’t fit for. Husband, father, lover—they were words that didn’t sit right on his tongue, responsibilities that felt like borrowed clothes he couldn’t quite fill. And yet here he was, with you beside him, Jack in the next room, and a life that felt almost too good to be true.
John takes a long drag on his cigarette, exhaling a plume of smoke that curls lazily toward the ceiling. “You think about him a lot, don’t you?”
You stiffen at the question, fingers wrapping tightly against the fabric of his union suit, you don’t need to ask who he means. There’s only one man whose shadow stretches this far, even after all these years.
“John…” you start, your voice soft but edged with warning.
“I’m not mad,” he says quickly, cutting you off. His eyes meet yours, and you see something in them that makes your chest tighten—an understanding that feels heavier than anger ever could. “I just… I just want to know.”
You look away, your gaze drifting to the fireplace in the bedroom. The flames flicker and dance, and for a moment, you see Arthur’s face in your mind’s eye—his crooked smile, the way his voice softened when he spoke to you. You swallow hard, the memory sharp and bittersweet.
“Sometimes,” you finally admit. “I think about what he’d say… what he’d think about all this.”
“All this,” John echoes, his voice quieter now. He crushes his cigarette butt in the ashtray on the nightstand, running a hand through his dark hair. “You mean us.”
You nod, your throat too tight to speak. You know this is a conversation you’ve both been avoiding for years, but it was bound to happen eventually. The ghost of Arthur Morgan has always been a part of your relationship, even if neither of you wanted to admit it.
John rolls to face you, propping himself up on his elbow, his lips pursed together. “Do you… do you ever wonder if it woulda been different? If he hadn’t…”
“Don’t,” you interrupt, your voice sharper than you intended. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Don’t do that, John. It’s not fair. To him. To us.”
He nods, but the tension in his jaw doesn’t ease. “I know it ain’t fair.”
The words hang in the air, heavy and unspoken until now. You feel the sting of them, not because they’re cruel, but because they’re true. Arthur had saved you in more ways than one, even in death. He’d given you the strength to carry on, the courage to find something resembling happiness again. And yes, he’d brought you to John, even if not intentionally.
“Sometimes I wonder if he’d hate me for this,” he murmurs. “For bein’ with you. For tryin’ to give you the kind of life he wanted to.”
You squeeze his hand tightly, willing him to feel the truth of your words. “Arthur wouldn’t hate you, John. He’d want me to be happy. He’d want you to be happy too.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. The firelight plays over his features, casting shadows under his eyes and across his jaw. For a moment, you think he’s going to let the conversation drop, but then he leans over and cups your face gently, his calloused thumb brushing away the tears you didn’t even realize were falling.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be enough,” he says, his voice raw and unsteady. “But I’ll spend the rest of my life tryin’ to be.”
Before you can respond, he leans in and kisses you. It’s not a hesitant kiss, or a questioning one—it’s fierce, full of need and vulnerability and love. His lips press against yours with a desperation that speaks of all the things he can’t say, all the fears he carries but refuses to burden you with. You gasp against him, your hands clutching at his shirt as if to ground yourself, and he deepens the kiss, his fingers tangling in your hair.
The world outside the cabin fades, the weight of the past momentarily lifting as his warmth surrounds you. When he finally pulls back, both of you breathless, his forehead rests against yours. His eyes are glassy, his breathing uneven.
“I love you,” he whispers, the words as much a plea as a promise.
“I love you too, John. And I’m not going anywhere.”
He pulls you into his side as you dry your tears on the fabric of his shirt. It’s not long after that sleep claims you. He turned his head to look at you, his breath catching at the sight. The moonlight painted your face in soft silver, your features relaxed and peaceful. You looked beautiful, even in sleep—especially in sleep, when the weight of the world seemed to lift from your shoulders.
John’s breath was slow and measured as he lay beside you, the faint glow of moonlight outlining your figure against the bed. You were wrapped in his arms, your bare skin glowing like some ethereal thing, soft and inviting. His gaze roamed over you, unhurried, lingering on every curve and line as if he could imprint the sight of you onto his very soul.
He’d seen you like this countless times before, but tonight felt different— more fragile, as if this moment existed on the edge of something he couldn’t quite name.
His hand moved slowly, almost reverently, tracing the curve of your shoulder, the delicate slope of your collarbone. His calloused fingers felt clumsy against your softness, but he didn’t stop, letting his touch map the places his eyes had already memorized.
Every freckle, every scar, every mark on your body felt like a story he wanted to know by heart. The faint dip of your spine, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathed, the way your hair fanned out across the pillow—all of it was mesmerizing, sacred.
John’s hand drifted to your arm, following the curve down to your wrist, where he paused to marvel at the fragility of it, at how someone as strong as you could feel so breakable in his hands. He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your palm, then to the delicate skin of your wrist where he could feel your pulse thrumming beneath his mouth.
His chest tightened as he shifted closer, his lips trailing along your arm, your shoulder, the hollow of your neck. He wanted to know every inch of you, wanted to memorize you in a way that went deeper than touch or sight. He wanted to carry the memory of you with him always, in a place where no time or distance or loss could ever take it away.
As his hands moved to your waist, his fingers splaying across your skin like he was anchoring himself to you, he closed his eyes and breathed you in. You smelled like home—faint traces of lavender soap and the earthy scent of the outdoors. He thought of how often he took for granted the simple presence of you, the way you fit against him like you belonged there.
You stirred under his touch, your breath hitching slightly as you turned your head toward him, your eyes fluttering open. The sight of you looking at him, sleepy and soft, sent a rush of something overwhelming through him—something that felt like love but was too big and too consuming to be named so simply.
“John,” you whispered, your voice heavy with sleep but laced with something deeper, something knowing.
He didn’t answer, couldn’t find the words. Instead, he leaned down and kissed you again, his lips slow and deliberate, tasting the softness of your mouth, the heat of your skin. It wasn’t a kiss of passion, though that burned beneath the surface—it was a kiss of devotion, of a man trying to capture the essence of the woman he loved in a way that words and memory alone could never hold.
When he pulled back, his hand moved to cradle your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek as his eyes searched yours. “I just… I just want to remember you like this,” he murmured, his voice low and rough with emotion.
You smiled softly, your hand covering his as you leaned into his touch. “I’m not going anywhere, John.”
He nodded, though his chest still ached with the weight of everything he couldn’t say. Maybe you weren’t going anywhere, but life had a way of taking what mattered most. And if it ever did, he’d carry this night, this moment, with him always—every inch of you burned into his memory, like a brand on his soul.
His lips brushed your forehead, a kiss so light it was barely there, but it carried all the things he didn’t know how to say.
He loved you. He didn’t always know if he deserved you, but he loved you more than he’d ever thought himself capable of loving anyone.
John’s eyes grew heavy as he let the warmth of your body and the steady sound of your breathing pull him toward sleep. He didn’t have the answers, didn’t know if he ever would, but as he lay there with you in his arms, he knew one thing for certain.
He’d spend the rest of his life trying to be the man you needed him to be. Even if he’d never quite escape the shadow of the man who came before him.
flufftober prompts #1, #14, and alt#10: Anniversary, Stuck or Lost Together, and They Lived Happily Ever After (extremely late, I know😔)
word count: 4k
summary: John and Abigail have made it to their fifth marriage anniversary so they decide to relive the day of their proposal to celebrate
tags: pure fluff, post-canon of rdr1, possible spoilers for the epilogue of rdr2, the law isn’t coming after them anymore because um I said so, in my mind this is the canon ending, oh and john can’t swim so he almost drowns
a/n: This is something I’ve been working on since October. I’m slowly but surely finishing the fics I planned for both Flufftober and Kinktober so here’s this one! I was really looking forward to this prompt, I just wish I could’ve finished it sooner BUT I am so extremely proud of how it turned out that I still felt the need to share it. Oh and while writing i entirely forgot that John and Abigail go to the theater as well, so just pretend they went. Also I was staring at this post the entire time I was writing the beginning hehe Enjoy!
Kinktober/Flufftober Masterlist
Streams of sunlight pour in through the windows and splash onto the tangled up sheets. Golden flecks bounce off the deep crimson of the comforter and find solace on the ceiling. Awoken by the bright glow of morning, Abigail rises slowly from her slumber. There’s no reason for her to rush, not anymore. As she blinks away the last remnants of sleep and stretches out her aching limbs, the world catches up with her.
She turns to look at the man resting beside her. The man who is at peace for a moment in time. Features that are hard and knitted together outside of this room are now softened. An expression that stays locked behind this door and in Abigail’s heart forever. Those scars, the ones that he got so long ago, shimmer in the morning sun and remind her of a different time, a harder time. After many years of trial and tribulation, they’ve made it this far.
It’s a special morning and Abigail isn’t going to let it go to waste.
She is quick to get on her feet and out of her nightgown, humming a little tune while she ties her apron tight around her waist and moves through the house. The tune is familiar, though she can’t quite place it. But it certainly meant something to her once.
The stove is stoked up and ready, a pan is set on the surface, and the first egg is cracked. Sizzling fills the air alongside Abigail’s humming.
The boy she has raised for seventeen years of life steps out of his room and into the kitchen, roused by sleep.
“G’mornin’, Ma.” He greets her politely, and a prideful smile adorns her face. Slowly but surely he is becoming a man, morphing into a replica of his father. The hair on his head has grown out because he insists on cutting it himself, but refuses to just the same. That little mustache of his is now more prominent than ever, and he even has a small tuft of hair under his bottom lip.
Abigail looks at him every day and knows that life is worth living.
Plates clatter as they are gathered from the cupboard. It’s a special occasion, one that calls for special dishes. That’s why Abigail is slapping sloppy eggs onto the finest china they own. Once each plate has a generous portion of food they are handed to the boy turned man who then sets them gently on the dining table.
“Ma,” He inquires once the table is set. She looks up from the rag that is now gripped firmly in her hands to find her son leaning against the door frame, a position she always found his father in. “I just wanted to ask…”
A question leaves his lips and yet the words don’t come to. Abigail loses herself in thought as she watches him speak with no sound, she loses herself in the memory of her little boy. The one who she found crying outside of his father’s tent because that cruel man abandoned them when they needed him most. The one who spent his freedom reading and writing and dreaming of new lands. Now here he is, growing into his skin just right, body lean and healthy. Her baby is healthy and that’s all she could ask for.
“Ma?” The easiest word he has ever said snaps her out of these thoughts and back to reality.
“Hm?”
“I was wonderin’ if I could go into town. To see a friend.”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” She dismisses him with a wave of her hand, “Just be back before sundown.”
How many times this week has he asked to go into town? Too many to count. The little boy who once cried for his mother, slept by her side when he got too scared, must be in love.
She turns away to finish cleaning the pan she just dirtied, her mind now riddled with fond memories and reminisces.
It takes a few tries before Abigail is successful in waking her husband, but once she notices him stirring, a small but genuine smile appears on her face. John used to be the deepest sleeper, his slumber laced with selfishness, though overtime that habit has died out.
He stretches out like a cat and murmurs a quick, “what’s goin’ on?” as he slowly comes to his senses.
Abigail squints at him, trying to decipher if he’s serious or not.
“John Marston, you best be joking.” She demands.
He shrugs and scratches at his neck carelessly, yawning again like waking up is the only important thing to him right now. Then he meets Abigail’s glare and a hint of a smirk forms on his tired face, one that wouldn’t be discernible if it weren’t so familiar.
Abigail huffs, “Now I know you’re a fool but I didnt take you for this much of one.”
"What?" He asks incredulously, "am I forgettin’ somethin'?"
John has always loved to tease. Sometimes his immaturity bothered Abigail, especially when it meant he ignored his responsibilities but other times, oh almost every other time it charmed her. That is probably what that younger, more naive version of herself fell for all those years ago. That and his annoyingly handsome face.
She can tell he's charming her now, the fool that he is. That goofy smirk and the playful tilt of his head doing nothing but giving him away.
"Get up, you pig." She says with a laugh, tossing that old rag at him, "I ain't feeding you in this bed."
He raises a brow, "aw, you ain't? Thought maybe that was my gift."
Breakfast passes beautifully, laughter and joyous retellings of what once was filled the house until there was no more room left for anything else. Now Abigail is in the silence of their bedroom, tugging on an old dress that she only wears when it feels right.
Years ago, when they were living that vicious life of theirs, John claimed this dress as his favorite. He said the color suited her, that it accentuated her best features. Since then, she set it aside for moments like this.
The floorboards creak and before Abigail can even register who is sneaking in, rough arms are wrapping around her waist, pulling her back against a lean frame of muscle as stubble scratches at her neck.
"You got on my favorite dress." John murmurs against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine.
She nods and lets out a breathy laugh, fastening the final button on the dress before smoothing out the wrinkled fabric.
“It still suits you, darling.” He whispers, pressing a lingering kiss right below her ear.
The mirror in front of them captures and frames the moment perfectly. John with his chin resting on Abigail's shoulder, joy oozing from him to her. Abigail cloaked in gorgeous blue lace, a smile that could brighten the darkest of days adorning her beautiful features.
All of that fighting and killing and running is long gone, leaving nothing but them, their growing son and that lazy old man, finding peace in themselves and each other.
They're up and out of the house in no time, bidding farewell to Uncle and Jack, trusting they won't get into too much trouble while they’re gone, though they know that is most definitely a mistake. Abigail makes sure to leave a quick kiss on Jack’s forehead and to remind him that he needs to be safe and smart while in town. Jack just wipes his forehead bashfully while swatting his mother away, muttering something about how he knows the rules.
And then they're off, the wagon clattering down the trail they have come to know so well. Dirt swirls up around them, sun shines through the leaves on the trees and casts them in a golden glow. The morning is as bright as they feel.
It isn't long before they’ve arrived in Blackwater.
The sounds and sights of town come to them differently nowadays. There's no lawman lurking around every corner, no glares making them question their safety. Blackwater is just a place now, even with all the old memories and mixed feelings it holds. The good has come to outweigh the bad, and for once in their life, it is time they relive the good.
John brings the wagon to a stop in front of a group of buildings and jumps down quickly, hurrying around to Abigail's side to help her.
He stretches his hand out, knowing that she is more than capable of helping herself down but he’ll take any excuse he can to touch his lovely wife.
“M'lady." He says through a grin, tipping his head in her direction to be ever the gentleman.
“Thank you, kind sir.” She laughs, that airy sound that has always made John blush, as she laces her fingers through his and gladly uses his help to climb down.
Warmth spreads throughout his body, starting at his fingertips and trailing all the way up to the organ tucked away deep in his chest. He has come to know this feeling – the one he had felt for the first time all those years ago when Uncle brought back that beautiful girl – as love. That's what it has been all along, even through all of that denial and fear. John has been in love.
Love. What a silly feeling. The heat of it can truly melt the ice around a cynic's heart.
Abigail and John are bickering already though it’s not about anything serious. While the couple argues about which background to choose the photographer stands there with his arms crossed firmly over his chest and a scowl on his bearded face. Every few minutes he'll glance briefly at his pocket watch, waiting for the perfect moment to kick these fools out of his store.
"Please, Mr. and Mrs. Marston," He cuts Abigail off before she can insult John's taste one last time, "I do not have all day."
That quickly quiets them down. They straighten themselves out before declaring that this background is the one. It's full of lush trees and sparkling raindrops dripping from the leaves, a forest just after a ferocious storm. The beauty of nature is captured perfectly in just this one backdrop, and the beauty of a tumultuous relationship if one wanted to look at it that way.
Now that they have chosen the photographer lets out a sigh of relief and steps up behind the camera to adjust the settings. He then begins ordering them around, wanting to get the perfect shot for his paying customers.
"Head up, Mr. Marston." "Mrs. Marston, smile wider for me." "Lean in closer, let the world see your love."
"Perfect." He finally declares, followed by a bright flash of light and a loud whoosh. "Absolutely wonderful!"
Without another word he pulls the capture out and rushes to the back room to get it developed.
For a few seconds Abigail and John sit in silence, smoke lingering in the air around them. The last time they did this was five years ago, the photo they got from it still stands proudly on the fireplace mantle. John remembers the way Abigail couldn't hold it together, ending their moment with her in a fit of giggles as she mocked his pose and the suddenness of his romantic gestures. This time though, she turns to look at him with a loving smile on her face,
"You look real nice, John." She says outright, the words lingering in the air between them just like that smoke.
John’s eyebrows raise as he awaits the punchline of the joke, but he is only left in a stunned silence. He turns to face her to decipher if she’s serious or not but the look on her face says it all. Joy is pulling up her skin and wrinkling it just right, her smile is brighter than the flash of the camera.
What did a man like him do to deserve this? How did he ever get so lucky? He’s uncertain if he’ll ever know. But right now, all he truly knows is that it'd be wrong to take her love for granted once more.
Right then the photographer exits the backroom with the photo in hand, interrupting the rare show of affection from Abigail. He holds it out for one of them to take and then steps away so they can observe it.
John stares at it, unblinking as his eyes mist over. There they are, happiness captured forever in this little portrait. The woman sat beside him in this photograph has seen him at his worst, has had to pull him out of various graves, and yet she still chose to stick by his side every time. And here she is now, complimenting him and smiling at him and just being everything he's ever needed. The version of himself from all those years ago, the cynical sad man who was sure his future held nothing but a gruesome death, couldn’t even begin to comprehend why marriage and love was such a big deal to him now. Hell, even the version of himself from this moment in time can barely understand it. And maybe, just maybe that’s okay.
As the weight of emotion becomes too much to bear he shoves the frame towards Abigail and sniffles, turning away to wipe the tears from his eyes.
She studies him a moment to make sure he's okay. Any other time she would tease him for crying, make a lighthearted joke out of it so he would laugh instead, but she chooses to let him be just this once. Because she too cannot hold back tears at the sight of the photo in her hands, the photo that holds a lifetime of love and joy in just one tiny frame.
Water laps against the shore, a bird flutters out of a nearby tree. The sun has ascended further in the sky bringing the arrival of the afternoon. Light reflects off the surface of the lake, creating a blinding glare for anyone passing by. John and Abigail walk hand in hand to the little cove tucked away next to the rocks, squinting out at the horizon to take in their soundings.
Abigail holds a hand in front of her face to block out the sun, "I don't see no boat." She says, glancing around as if maybe she's missing something.
John hums and scratches at the scars on his cheek, quickly realizing his plan isn't playing out as anticipated. They had gotten lucky with that little rowboat sitting unattended on the shore all those years ago and now it seems luck isn't on their side.
For a moment John stands there contemplating his next move before deciding he might as well just ask.
"Stay here." He tells Abigail, letting go of her hand and hurrying off in the direction of a few men who look like they might know something. As he approaches, the men eye him curiously. One of them, an older gentleman with a scraggly beard and dirty overalls, opens his mouth to say something but seems to decide otherwise. John is so used to the stares and the questions and the "oh, I know you!" declarations every single time someone sees him that he doesn’t question it.
A taller man steps up, crossing his arms over his broad chest, "You want somethin'?" He grunts.
John studies him a moment, narrowing his eyes at his gruff demeanor. It's a familir attitude, given that's how most of the men from his old gang presented themselves. But one man in particular comes to mind, the very man he has to thank for all this.
Arthur had always been rough around the edges, keeping things to himself until he couldn't any longer. John and him used to sit under the moon and the stars uttering secrets they could never tell another soul, locking them away forever so just the two of them and the moon understood. That was probably one of the only times John truly opened up to another man, he always assumed that it was the same for Arthur.
He stands there staring at the taller man in a reminiscent haze before the glare boring into his skull snaps him out of it.
"Huh?" Is all he can muster, forgetting the question entirely.
"Listen, buddy, if you ain't here for anythin' then leave us the hell alone."
John raises an eyebrow before letting out an amused huff, this guy is a real piece of work. He crosses his arms just like the man in front of him, standing his ground, "oh yeah, I need to borrow a boat."
There's a heated bout of silence, a glare passed from John to the man before laughter rings out. Someone slaps John on the back and shouts, "why didn't ya just start with that?" and their laughter grows in volume.
The boat is quite rickety, a few terribly patched holes and unidentifiable scratches are prominent on the hull. John blinks at it and Abigail looks as if she's about to explode with laughter.
"John," she squeaks out shakily, a smirk pulling up her lips as barely suppressed laughter rumbles in her chest, "you sure it's seaworthy?"
He just huffs, stepping up to it and patting the side, like that will somehow prove something, eliciting nothing but a creaky groan from the old wood.
"Yep, real seaworthy." He declares.
Calling this thing seaworthy is like calling John Marston a genius but maybe in another universe both him and this boat could live up to those titles.
He climbs in, steadying himself as it rocks back and forth against the ripples of the water before holding his hand out to help Abigail in. She still has a smirk on her face but she bites her tongue, settling onto the harsh wood of what once could’ve been a mighty bench.
The oars are rough, digging into John's palms the second he grabs them.
Those men are lucky they didn't charge him for this shitty boat or else their blood would be dripping from his knuckles right about now.
He takes a deep breath to regulate, trying to collect his frustrations and toss them into the lake to never be brought up again. Today is about him and Abigail, nothing else. They're lucky they even got a boat.
So instead of thinking about beating up those annoying bastards he begins to row, the simmer of his body dissipating with each slow tug of the oars. Abigail glances around happily, taking in her surroundings with a curiosity that's bordering on childish. It’s sweet, watching the way her face lights up with each thing they pass or the way her eyebrows knit together as memories come back to her.
"This is the spot!” She blurts out excitedly and John brings the boat to a halt. The sheer force of the stop causes the oar in his right hand to slide from his grasp and sink into the water with an unceremonious splash.
Both of them are slow to react, both of them don't comprehend it as quickly as they should. Maybe John could've lunged for it before it sunk beneath the surface or maybe Abigail could've reached out to catch it, but neither of them did anything and now they're fucked.
What follows is a sniffle from Abigail, slow blinking from John and then they're both shouting at the same time.
"Why didn't you grab it?!" "You could’ve grabbed it!" "No, no! You could have!"
The words bounce back and forth until they realize just how silly they sound. They both could’ve done something and they know it, but neither of them reacted that fast.
John leans back with a huff, Abigail giggles under her breath.
"You know, it is a nice day for a swim." She suggests, with a smile and wiggle of her brows. John's eyes widen.
Never once has he stepped foot in a body of water and he wants to keep it that way. Arthur used to tease him about it but Arthur didn't understand. What if something dragged him down and drowned him? Or worse. Hosea used to tell stories like that around the fire when John was just a boy.
There's no way he's swimming back. He'd rather capsize.
Ignoring his protests Abigail stands up. The movement rocks the rickety old thing enough to scare him.
"Abigail!" He squeals and grips the sides of the boat tight. As if that'll keep them steady.
Abigail laughs, "Calm down, tough guy."
John is left on the boat watching helplessly as his wife plunges into what he can only imagine is uncomfortably cold water that holds creatures beyond their imagination. Seconds pass and soon bubbles float up to the surface but Abigail is nowhere in sight. There's an eerie silence, the world seems to hold its breath. John scrambles over to the edge of the boat to peer over and catch a glimpse of Abigail, to find anything that proves she's alive, while also trying to hash out what he would do if she was truly drowning. He can't swim but he'd do anything to save her life. Oh god, maybe he should -–
Something cold and slimy grips his wrist and then he's tumbling forward off the boat, submerging into bone chilling water.
The fall is fast but his panic is faster. He flails and flaps around, screaming without any sound as water swiftly fills his lungs. His throat is burning, as is every bone in his body. The more he moves, the harder it gets. Soon he'll be sinking all the way to the bottom to become fish food.
This is how the once cynical, frightening outlaw dies. Drowning in some pathetic lake.
Something snakes around his waist. Maybe it's one of those creatures, suffocating him to death quickly so it can feast on his flesh. All the fight that once soared through his veins has disappeared the second he gives in, allowing the creature to drag him to whatever evil lair it resides in.
As he's dragged backwards by the slimy monster he’s coughing and gasping, spitting up spurts of water. His weak attempts to stay alive even though he knows it’s useless. This monster will be feasting on his organs in no time…
It isn't long before he emerges onto the shore, dripping wet and freezing as cool air bites at his skin. His clothes cling to his lean frame, the once greasy strands of hair are now plastered to his face. Whatever is behind him collapses with a loud sigh, the sound more human than beast. It is strange that the monster would drag him to shore to feast on his bones… But he doesn't have time to question any of it because his chest sputters with gurgling breaths and now he's hacking up water and phlegm.
He chokes and gags but then panic sweeps over him the second he realizes that Abigail isn't anywhere in sight. She drowned as he got attacked by that evil slimy monster that Hosea used to warn him about, the one Arthur said would come and eat him if he didn't do his chores. How pathetic. This day was supposed to be beautiful. Finally they made it this far and it all ends like this, in the middle of Blackwater.
He scrambles to sit up, drawing a gasp from the thing beneath him. That's when he peeks over his shoulder to see what it is, to come face to face with the ugly beast.
Abigail stares up at him, blinking away droplets of water that are caught in her eyelashes. Her wet hair is splayed out against the dirt beneath her, her skin shimmering in the afternoon sun.
Oh.
He is quick to climb off and help her up, whispering apology after apology as she tilts her head to the side to get water out of her ears.
Then she does something unexpected, she turns and smiles at John like this was all some big joke. She even has the audacity to start laughing.
“oh gosh, you should really see your face right now!” She shouts, a bubbling laugh escaping her.
John’s expression goes from confused to unamused immediately, a deep frown dampening his features. He almost died, she almost died! And she's laughing. She's laughing at all of this. My god, he will never understand this woman.
Abigail wheezes, clutching her stomach as it becomes harder for her to breathe, "oh my god!" She cries, tears streaming down her face faster than the water.
He glares at her, wanting an explanation.
"I'm sorry,” She blurts out, an annoying smirk still on her face, "there was another oar, John. We didn't have to swim!"
They climb back into the wagon half-naked and still dripping with water. John doesn't even spare a glance in Abigail’s direction, his bottom lip jutted out like some pouty toddler as he takes the reins in his hands and flicks them to get the horses moving.
He went through that traumitc experience just to be laughed at and made a total fool. At least they still have their photograph, at least the memory of what came before John's near death experience still remains.
The ride back is silent, besides Abigail chuckling to herself. John bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes metal.
She is the most annoying, bothersome–
He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath, his chest still shuddering from almost drowning. It isn't right for him to think these things about his lovely wife because what? She tricked him? Pfft, big deal. He's been through worse. Way worse.
The wagon rattles up the trail to Beecher's Hope and comes to a stop beside the house. Abigail turns to hop out the second they arrive but John reaches for her before she can.
"I'm sorry,” He whispers, "I overreacted."
And when she glances over her shoulder with genuine affection in her gaze, directed towards him, he can tell she was never mad at him. Not in the way he was mad at her.
He leans forward and captures her lips, slides a hand up to cup her jaw. Apologizing the easiest way he knows how. He just hopes it's enough, hopes she doesn't pull away.
Abigail lets out a shocked sound before melting into it, turning to wrap her arms around his neck and tilting her face down to deepen the kiss. He draws her into his lap, the wagon groaning under their shared weight.
"I love you, Mrs. Marston." He whispers as he pulls away, caught up in the intimate bliss.
She grins and mutters a quick, “Prove it."
And then his eyes widen, his mouth twitches up into a grin that matches her own. Oh, he loves this game.
His lips are back on hers in an instant…
Dividers
second a/n: This one has been done for a while I just didn’t exactly know when I should post it but considering I’ve been on a real johnigail kick lately it felt like the perfect moment!
(all photos were taken and edited by me, also didn’t know if I should tag everyone who asked to be tagged in these since it’s about two or three months later so if you were on that taglist just let me know if you still want to be tagged in the last few I have to finish from the list)
but @morgansroan thanks again for asking to be tagged hehe🩷🫶
"Mornin', missy," John's raspy whisper melted into your ears as you opened your eyes, yawning.
"Marston," you greeted sleepily, shifting yourself ever so slightly so that your back was against his bare chest. John leaned over and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on your temple. He placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer.
"How'd ya sleep?" John questioned, lifting one of his hands to play with your messy hair. You let out a satisfied mumble in response to the question and the innocent action that followed it. John's soft breath was warm against your skin, and his stubble gently grazed the back of your neck.
You stretched your arms and turned your head to plant a loving kiss on John's lips before grabbing his face and looking into his eyes affectionately. Bumping your foreheads together, you sighed happily.