Mini Fic: 12. things you said when you thought i was asleep
The fire was a welcome contrast to the night: warm versus cold, light versus darkness. Hiccup watched the flames as they sparked, leapt, burned, sank low. The logs were hardly more than ashes, the flames reduced to embers. Toothless was warmer at his back, now, than the fire in front.
He hadn’t been able to sleep. His body itched like nanodragons were running all over him, like someone had injected coffee into his veins. (Coffee was something he looked forward to bringing to Berk, whenever he got back. Back to his Berk.)
The other Hiccup, though, had dozed off hours ago. Even the watchful dragons were breathing deeply, eyes closed.
Hiccup watched his doppleganger, idly twirling a stick he’d been using to poke the fire in his hands. He had thought, more than once, if that was really what he had looked like. It was only a couple years ago, but it seemed so much longer.
A leftover log popped once, cracking where the fire had eaten through it, and collapsing with a puff of ash. Hiccup kicked gently at the fire with half a mind to properly put it out. There wasn’t much left, anyway. He should sleep while dawn was still such a long ways off.
Instead, he propped his head on his hand, propped on his knee, and stared at the other him again.
“What makes us different?” he found himself asking aloud. His whisper felt like a disturbance in the silence, but a necessary one. Neither the other Hiccup nor the dragons reacted, so he continued.
“You’re me from the past, but also not because I never met myself. I don’t remember being captured by the Outcasts like that, either.” Hiccup ran a hand through his hair, tugging roughly at it. Did his arrival here change something? Was this a different version of his past from the start. How many different versions of reality were there? How many subtle changes could lead to such disparate timelines.
“You better be grateful for what you have while you have it. For Toothless and Astrid and Dad.” Hiccup huffed. “Even Snotlout. And the twins and Fishlegs and Gobber. For the forge. God, I miss the forge. Don’t throw it away just because you like flying solo.”
Hiccup was quiet then for a moment, twirling the stick in his hands and watching the embers die to nothing. Soon, the stars were their only light.
“You’re lucky you’re not me, somehow or other. Not entirely.” He thought about how being away from home was only really appealing when you could still go back. He pressed back against Toothless -- his Toothless. At least he had his Night Fury, through everything else.
Closing his eyes tightly, Hiccup pressed his head back against the dragon, bottling the emotions back inside himself.