Summary: Y/N’s life starts to change as her mother gets herself a new man after her father’s passing. A new school, a new life. Everything sounds too good to be true. Apparently, destiny has its own rules and that is something she will learn when destiny gives her some signs along her way.
CHAPTER 13
It has been at least ten minutes that Jaebum could not stop to cry. Ten minutes of Y/N trying her best to find the right words. She does not know if she should keep hugging him or if she should get up and get him something else instead. It makes her feel helpless and worried at the same time. The past ten minutes have been absolute silent. No matter what crosses her mind, it still does not seem good enough to cheer him up. When he starts to move away from her, she removes her arms from him. Y/N wanted to be sure that he is doing better after letting it all out but Jaebum avoids the eye contact which makes it harder for her to figure out what is truly going on inside. It only felt like a minute until he finally looks into her eyes. Surprised by her reddened eyes, he wonders why she feels this way even though she was just a customer who helped out once to his aunt. She tries her best to fake a smile which does not work out that well as it looks different in comparison to her real smile. Jaebum could not even look at her fake smile for a second before he looks away.
“Feels better to let it out, huh?”, she says to lift up the mood a little. “How are you feeling?” Jaebum's eyes look red and lightly swollen. At first, he did not recognize that she was watching him as he wipes his tears from his face. When he looks at her again, he sees the dried tears on her face. A little fresh tear is still in the corner of her left eye which she seems not to mind.
“Honestly, I do not know how I feel nor how I should feel...” His voice sounds as he really means what he had just said. This slow talking and the breaking between the words make it clear, he tries to hide his feelings again. “You cried too?”, Jaebum questions as she wipes the tears off her face.
“Yeah. It’s just… Whenever I see someone cry, I start to cry automatically.”, she answers as she uses her finger to remove any sign of the tears that she feels on her face.
“I did not mean to make you cry. Sorry.”
“It’s alright, do not worry about it. Friends help each other through hard times, I am here for you. You would be there for me too so…” Jaebum nods as he gets up to get the tissue box which lies next to his bed. He takes a tissue out of the box and holds the box towards her. “She meant a lot to you, didn’t she?”, Y/N questions as she takes a tissue. Jaebum nods as he sits down on the edge of his bed.
“Yes.” Jaebum sobs before he looks at her again. “I asked you once if your father is abusive to you. Do you remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.” Y/N does not spend a thought about what he had asked, she simply answered with whatever came to her mind first. She starts to realize what he said and what she had just answered and this makes her wonder why he said what he said.
“There is a reason why I did not wait and asked you directly if your father does what I accused him of. I had to ask you that question because the way your father reacted, reminded me on my aunt’s former husband.” Jaebum takes a moment to breath before he continues. “He was so abusive and… My aunt used to cover up her bloody lip with red lipstick just like your mother did. The way he touched your arm and the sadness in your eyes looked similar to what I saw in my aunt’s eyes before.”
“Oh.”, she says as she looks to the ground. “I guess, I understand why you asked me those questions... I am sorry she had to go through that. Nobody should go through that.”, Y/N says as she looks at her hands. Jaebum takes out his phone to write a text message. The message is directed at their group chat. This is also the reason why Y/N’s phone vibrates. In curiosity, she opens the message immediately. Y/N reads the message a second time before she starts to wonder why he wrote this message. “Are you sure that we should get ourselves whatever we want from her shop? You know we could help out this week.”
“Most of her recipes are a secret. She never wrote them down and they are the reason why the shop has been successful. Without those… Forget it.”, Jaebum mumbles as he touches the back of his neck.
“I am a good baker, maybe I-” His eyes suddenly look angry and he looks upset when he interrupts her.
“I said no!”, Jaebum screams. Y/N looks depressed as he declines her offer even though she understands his emotional outburst. It would be a lie if she would say that his reaction did not hurt her. Y/N might not say something back at him but her face shows that he stepped over the line. His tongue moves quickly over his lips as he feels them dry up. “I did not mean to scream at you, I am sorry.”, Jaebum apologizes as he looks to the ground in shame about his outburst.
“It’s fine.”, she assures him whilst he is getting mad at himself for screaming at her even more. Two knocks become hearable from the door frame of Jaebum's bedroom. It is his mother, leaning against his bedroom door with a purse in one hand and shoes in the other. His mother looks just as sad as Jaebum does but she seems to hide it a little better than Jaebum could.
“I see that you are in good hands.”, his mother states as she looks at them. Y/N starts to believe that she might have not heard his screaming. Otherwise she would have said something, Y/N thinks. Another thing that she notices is that his mother does not look as she would have been crying as hard as Jaebum did, but Y/N is sure that she must be wearing makeup to cover it up. Y/N puts a small smile on her face to reassure his mother that everything is alright. His mother returns a smile and nods. “I have to go, there are some paper stuff to do because of her death and….” The smile of his mother slowly disappears as she feels her emotions come up. She looks up for a moment as she would try to suck the tears back in before she puts a neutral look on her face. “Jae, my boss did not give me a vacation day for tonight's shift. Do you want me to cook something or do you want me to get you something for breakfast?”
“Got it.”, Jaebum answers as he looks depressed to the ground. “I will stay at home.”, he declares as he looks up at her again. “I will find something in the freezer for sure.” Jaebum tries the hardest to assure his mother that he will be alright but his mother waits for a few seconds if he would change his mind.
“Alright. I see you guys later if I make it home before my shift but I see you the latest tomorrow. Do not forget to lock the door before you go to bed.” His mother waves her goodbye before she walks away from his bedroom. Jaebum puts the tissue box on the ground which brings her attention back to him. Y/N tries her best to read his face but he seems to fake his emotion once again.
“I just want to take a nap. If you do not mind.”, he tells her quietly.
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Y/N gets up and is just about to leave the room as she discovers a sleeping bag in the corner of his room. Jaebum turns his body towards the wall as Y/N leaves his room. Almost out of the door, she turns around. “Tell me if you need something.” He does not answer her which is making her sigh as she leaves his room. She walks towards the kitchen to drink some water as she feels her throat starting to hurt because of the dryness. As Y/N takes the glass of water, she starts to think about his mother. How many jobs does she have just to make enough for their living, Y/N wonders. For whatever reason she turns to the fridge and looks through it whilst her thoughts stay by his mother. There is not much in the fridge that she could cook with. It almost reminds her on the empty fridge she was so used to after her father had passed away. If his mother barely makes any money even though she seems to have more than one job, do they even eat enough, she wonders. Jaebum always eats the food from the cafeteria but what does he eat at home if there is barely anything there, she asks herself. Y/N takes one look along the hallway towards his bedroom as she feels torn of respecting his wish of being alone or being with him as a friend even though he does not want her to do so. Just to be sure she walks back to his bedroom to see if he fell asleep already. When she sees that he is truly taking a nap, she walks back to the fridge and takes some ingredients for cooking out of the fridge. Thankfully, she finds everything that she would need.
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Once he fell asleep, Jaebum did not want to wake up from it. In his dream, he sees his aunt as she was taking care of Jaebum when he was a younger. Just a few years ago, but it still feels like yesterday when he had to wait outside of a courtroom with his aunt. He remembers his mother telling him that she will make sure that his father will not hurt him ever again. He also remembers the way she hugged his aunt and the way she had petted his head before she had to walk inside the court room. Multiple times, he heard his aunt say, that Jaebum’s mother will be out in a minute. What he did not expect is his father being taken away by handcuffs just a few minutes before his mother came back outside. His aunt did ignore his questions and said repeatedly that his mother will answer his questions. Jaebum accepted to wait for his mother to answer his questions later on that day. The smile on Jaebum’s mother’s face was huge when she walked towards them and the many times his aunt congratulated her for a win seems to be on replay in his dream. Almost as it would be in slow motion.
A smell in the air gets Jaebum’s attention as he starts to wake up. It smells delicious almost as he would dive right into another dream but this is just not another dream. Still sleepy, he gets up to follow the smell. He becomes more curious each second whilst he follows the smell towards the kitchen. When he passes the guest room, he sees no sign of Y/N. As he continues to walk towards the kitchen, he starts to wonder if Y/N had ordered in. Jaebum stops to walk for a second to watch her cook but the curiosity makes him walk closer to her. “Are you cooking? I smelled something that lead me this way.”, he explains as he leans over to pan to take a closer look. “Looks good.”
“I hope it is okay. I did not know if I was allowed to-”
“It is okay. You should not be starving as our guest.” Jaebum lifts a corner of his lips to show her it is perfectly fine if she wants to do so.
“I only cooked something I came up with in my mind. I made some vegetables with coconut-curry sauce and I made some spring rolls from your freezer. I hope you like it.” Jaebum nods and takes two plates to place them on the dinner table. “Do you want to eat now?”, she asks as she keeps on focusing on the food.
“That is why I am preparing the table. Do you need a hand?”
“Nope. Just bring the plates, I will put everything on the plates in the kitchen.” Jaebum does not discuss as he brings her the plates even though the plates where on the dinner table for less than a half minute.
“I did not know that you can cook.”
“Well, surprise.”, she jokes as she puts the food on the first plate. “Let's see if you like it afterwards too.” When she prepared the second plate, he brings the plates back to the dinner table. Y/N hurries around the kitchen counter to sit down on the empty chair on the opposite side of where he is sitting at. Jaebum takes a bite quickly. The fast chewing turns into slow ones until he does not chew anymore even though the food is still in his mouth. He raises an eyebrow and looks at her. “This bad?”, she questions as it looks like he seems not to like it. Jaebum swallows his food and licks his lip twice. She looks at her plate disappointed as she takes a bite herself to see if it tastes bad.
“No, it is damn good!”
“It does not look like you would truly like it.”, she answers whilst she tries to cool her mouth. Apparently, she did not wait long enough for the food to cool down a bit before she had put it in her mouth. “Argh!”
“Are you okay?”, Jaebum asks as he tries to hide a laugh.
“Just too hot.” Jaebum starts to laugh. He tried hard to hold back his laugh but he could not do it any longer especially when she starts to move like a fish who’s a dragon at the same time. His imaginary adds the smoke which comes from her mouth which makes him laugh even harder. “I will let you laugh about me being stupid.”, she says with a smile. When he makes the same face again after taking another bite, she narrows her eyebrows. “Why does it look like you do not like it even if you say you do?”, she asks as she finally swallowed her food.
“I am just surprised that it tastes that well. Did you order in?” Y/N starts to laugh at his question.
“Are you saying this because your face failed to hide the truth twice?”
“No, not at all.” Jaebum looks around if he might could find any packaging which would show that she had ordered in but there is no sign of any packaging. Whilst shaking his head, he continues to eat.
“Do you find any packaging around here? The ingredients are from your fridge by the way.”
“Uh...” His fork moves quickly to give him another taste of the food in front of him. “Make sure to leave the recipe here. I got to try it myself.”, he requests with his mouth full.
“You cook too? I did not know that you do too.”
“Well, I guess we both learnt something about the other one.” Y/N nods as she continues to eat. “Is something left for another portion?”
“Only a small amount. I did not make that much.”, she answers as her phone vibrates. She takes the phone out of her pocket and looks at the screen. “Uh.”
“Uh? Must be your parents from the sound of it.”
“No. It is Jungkook.”, she answers as she reads the message. “He asks me if he should come over with a few video games to distract you with. Do you want him to come over?” Jaebum starts to play with his fork within his food. It looks almost like a child who does not want to finish its meal.
“Is it bad that I do not want to see them right now?”, Jaebum asks as he battles with himself. It feels wrong to decline a friend who wants to be there for him but at the same time it would make it worse once he would be by himself afterwards again, Jaebum thinks. “I rather be on my own.”, he lies.
“No, it is not bad at all. I will just write him that you want to take a nap.” She starts to type that he does not know what he wants to do but that he asked her to decline Jungkook’s offer. Jungkook knew that Jaebum would have denied his phone call but that he would say no through Y/N surprised him. After finishing his meal, Jaebum keeps sitting at the table as he would want to say something.
“Okay.”, Jaebum pronounces whilst he gets up. The okay sounded more like someone who made his mind up and confident rather than sad. She texts Jungkook if they want to come, they should come anyway. Her fingers are typing very quick whilst she hopes that Jaebum does not notice that she is writing a long message. When she puts a full fork is in her mouth, she sees that Jaebum is walking towards the wash basin. Maybe she should have not ignored his no and just tell Jungkook to not come over nor to send the others to Jaebum’s place instead, she thinks.
“Not hungry anymore? A little should be left.”
“No. You can have it if you like.”, Jaebum answers as he places the dirty dish in the wash basin.
“Leave them there. I will clean up once I am done here.”
“You are our guest this week. I will do it.” He takes the cleaning materials and starts to clean up. “That can distract me a little at least.” Y/N finishes her meal just as Jaebum finished the other dirty dishes. “Do you want to go out with the others?” Her eyes look surprised at him as she watches him cleaning up. Jaebum might not be looking at her but he sees her in the corner of his eyes. “I mean, do you not want to take the chance to hang out with Jinyoung or the others? Just to watch a movie or something.” If she would be honest, it would hurt him that is for sure. Since she knew that she will stay at his place, she thought about going on dates with Jinyoung but now, everything looks different. Jaebum looks as he is in so much pain that it would not feel right to leave him alone by himself.
“No. Besides, what if a neighbor of mine would see me and ask my mother about it…”, she lies as she hands him her plate.
“You are a horrible liar.” Jaebum cleans her plate quickly and turns off the water. He takes the kitchen towel to dry his hand when he leans against the kitchen counter. “It is fine. If you want to, just do it. Do not hold yourself back because you feel sorry for me. I am alright.”
“Thanks. But I will stay in.” Just in that moment the doorbell rings. “Do you expect someone? Do you want me to check?”
“Are you joking?”, he asks when he throws the kitchen towel on the kitchen counter. “I will go.” Jaebum pronounces as he walks towards the door. He opens the door quickly but now he wishes that he did not open the door at all.
“We thought you might want a few of us here...”, Yoongi says. “Can we come in?” Jaebum nods with his head down as he lets them in. “Jungkook said you want to take a nap which is the reason why some said they would rather let you sleep.”
“So, you want me to stay awake?”, Jaebum adds sarcastically. “Very kind.”
“We got some snacks, games... Whatever you need for a distraction.” Mark shows him the bag with all the stuff in it. No word is leaving Jaebum’s lips as he opens the door more. “Maybe Jinyoung was right.”, Marks whispers quietly to Jin.
“No. He just acts cold again, you know him.” Jin puts his shoes off and walks towards the kitchen. “Damn! I missed your cooking again?”, he questions as he sees Y/N packing the small amount of food which is left into a Tupperware that she had found.
“Well, you are always a moment too late.”
“Can you ever save some for me?”
“Uhm, no. I do not think so but maybe one day.”
“You have some leftovers in front of you.”
“So?”
“So? Do you not want to offer it to me?”
“I did not cook it for you, I cooked for Jaebum. Maybe another day.”
“At least one day...”, Jin jokes as he sees her smile. His laugh stops when he turns back to Jaebum. “Jaebum, do you want to play a video game or a card game?”
“What are you asking him for? A video game of course.”, Mark says as he takes the bag from Jin’s hand. “Let’s see who is the best in the new game that Yugyeom got from his parents. Jungkook meant it is one of the best games Yugyeom owns.”
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“At least we finally found something that you are bad in!”, Mark comments happily as he beats Y/N in the same game again. “Do not be mad! This game is so much fun.”
“Enjoy your win.”, Y/N says angrily. “I will beat you sooner or later. That counts for everyone in this room!”
“Come on. It is alright to suck in something. We all suck in something.”
“I do not suck in anything! This word has never been in my vocabulary.”
“You are only good in things which you need to study...”
“Not true at all!”
“Let’s see. You had luck with bowling but I guess next time it will be horribly bad again. Typical beginner I would say. Then we have video games, sport, art-”
“Alright. I got it!” Y/N pushes the controller onto Jin. “Take it before I break it.”
“Somebody is a bad loser.”, Yoongi notes as he looks at his other friends. “Somebody else who would like to eat pizza?”
“I am in!”, Mark screams happily. “What about you, grumpy loser?”
“Only if Jaebum wants some too.” She walks back to her friends with a glass in her hands. As Jaebum does not answer her, she sits down on the armrest of the couch next to him. “Do you want to eat pizza too?”
“I am not hungry. I will take a nap.”, Jaebum tells the others whilst he gets up. No one stops him as he walks away.
“I told you, everyone should come but no. Let’s not pressure them to come with us...”, Yoongi converses annoyed. Jin immediately feels that the heat is directed at him. Feeling insulted, he turns to Yoongi.
“What are you mad at me for?”, Jin asks in confusion. “Besides, why do you come up with pizza when we have so much food lying around?”
“Makes me wonder why she was asking him.”
“Is it my fault now?”, Y/N questions.
“Never direct a question on the sad person... I thought you read a lot.” Her eyebrows narrow the longer she looks at him. “Maybe you only read the wrong things.”
“Let’s not fight.”, Mark suggests. “Maybe we should leave him alone. We distracted him a little at least.”
“Yeah, but the school holidays have just started and it looks like they will still talk about the bakery next week...”
“If they have to sell it, it will hurt him badly.”
“I understand it because of his aunt but do you think it will hurt him that badly?”, Y/N wonders.
“Before his parents got divorced, they used to fight a lot. Whenever they fought, he ran into her shop. It is kind of his safety place.”, Yoongi explains. “He did not open up to us easily that is why we knew about the divorce almost a year after it happened.” Mark looks nervously towards the door in which he disappeared in.
“Maybe it is better you hear it from him.”, Jin suggests.
“I do not believe he wants to tell me about it.”
“Well, then we should say nothing else either.”
“Is it about this abusive man?” Their eyes widen when Y/N mentions the word ‘abusive’. “Why are you all looking at me like I am a ghost or something?”
“I am surprised he told you about his dad.”, Mark whispers. “Jaebum usually does not talk about his dad.”
“I was speaking about his aunt’s ex-husband.”, she explains. “Wait, what do you mean with his dad?”, she whispers back.
“Idiot. You are simply an idiot to tell her.”, Yoongi scolds in a quiet tone.
“How was I supposed to know that she is talking about him and not him?”
“I cannot believe you are in the same class as me...”
“Just shut up!”, Mark yells back in a quiet tone. “Why are you moving closer to me?”, he questions as he sees that she is moving closer and closer until she sits close enough next to him.
“Because I need to know what you meant when you mentioned his dad.” Mark looks around in doubt if he should dare to tell her or if he should not say a word. Yoongi and Jin shake their head but Mark remembers Jaebum’s words, secrets should not exist within a friendship.
“Fine. If he asks, you do not have this information from me, clear?”
“Okay. Just tell me!”
“When Jaebum was around eleven years old, he noticed that his father is mentally abusing his mother. His mother stood her ground and wanted to throw him out every time but she did not do it because of Jaebum.”
“Just because of Jaebum? Why would she do that?”
“She wanted that he grows up with a mother and a father but this is not what his father wanted. Jaebum asked his father once why he is the way he is to his mother like that. He told us that his father told him that he will leave her alone but therefore, he must bear the abuse. He does not know the reason to this day. Jaebum’s father did not do any mental abuse to him, but he started to abuse him physically. Jaebum was beaten up by him almost daily instead.”
“That is why he never mentioned him...” Slowly she starts to understand from where this carrying behavior from Jaebum is coming from. “Did he not tell anyone?”
“Only his aunt.”
“That is also why he was so close with his aunt.”
“Both of them were too scared to tell anyone. His aunt asked him about it when she saw that his back started to bleed through his white shirt. That is when she told him about the abuse in her relationship, but she made it clear to him that if he tells his mom about it, she would go to a lawyer the very next day to have her husband out of her house.”
“Did anyone else know?”
“Except of his aunt? No. We only discovered it when we had a sports day in school.”
“He said nothing?” All three of them shake their head without answering. “Did you not notice any changes in his behavior?”
“We thought that he might be tired as it was around the time, he started to help his aunt with the bakery.”, Yoongi explains. “I still remember how his back looked like.”
“How bad was it?”
“His back was just black and blue. He even had bloody wounds from his father belt, at least we thought it was from a belt.”
“Are you trying to say he got beaten up with items?”
“He beat him up with whatever his father got into his hands. That huge wound was from a chair.”, Jin answers as his voice starts to shake. “He never said a word for weeks but he still continued to play football.”, Jin adds as he shakes his head. “He was so afraid to tell anyone especially because of his mom.”
“Are you done talking about me?”, Jaebum questions as he suddenly stands in the room. Their faces turn immediately to him. “I want you all out. Now!”
i’m so ready for BTS’ comeback and their DNA MV. you know its bad when i get excited emotional like i actually started tearing up when i saw the trailers omg
