#ksmutclub

[jjungkookii]

NRFS Drabble: Ovulating (m)

NRFS drabble masterlist | nrfs m.list | main m.list

WC: 2,373

summary: you send Jungkook a risky nude during his soup photoshoot, and he comes home ready to collect interest.

warnings: ovulation mention, exhibitionism(sending nudes), sexting, rough sex, oral(f receiving), dirty talk, spanking, light hair pulling, possessiveness, marking/biting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, creampie, slight breeding undertones, light degradation(“tease”), praise kink, manhandling, missionary/doggy/cowgirl, fingering, rough language, intensity

a/n: drop date(10/3/2025) Jungkook was photographing soup, I was photographing ✨sin✨. If HR calls, tell them ovulation made me do it. Also I didn’t edit this a whole lot, so if there are typos… I’m sorry🙃🙏

You glance at the clock.

1:22 PM.

The numbers glow in angry red against the quiet hum of the apartment. Your room is empty. So is your calendar. But Jungkook isn’t—he’s across town in some sterile studio, pointing his very expensive camera at very expensive soup, and honestly? That should be punishable by law. Because you’re ovulating. Bored. And terminally down bad.

Which explains why you’re sprawled in his bed. Not yours. His.

The sheets smell like clean laundry, sandalwood, and the faint citrus of the shampoo you absolutely did not borrow. One leg is hooked out, blanket a lazy slash across your hips, your nipples peaked from the faint breeze you created five minutes ago when you gave up on dignity and fanned yourself like some desperate Victorian heroine.

Your phone sits heavy in your hand. You shouldn’t. You should absolutely not. And yet—

You angle it down, slow. Frame the curve of your thigh, the drape of his blanket, the obvious swell of your breasts. No filter. No corrections. Just raw, hungry want and a smirk sharp enough to cut him in half.

Send.

To kook🍜.

From you: working hard? 😇

Then you wait.

Like a menace.

You scroll, refresh, pretend you’re not pulsing between your legs just imagining the noise he’s going to make when he sees it.

Jungkook POV — 1:28 PM

Click. Flash. Another soup can. Another aggressively lit vegetable medley that looks like it crawled out of 2007.

His back aches. His stomach growls. An intern drones on about lighting ratios like he didn’t spend three years perfecting food shadows. He’s seconds from faking a bathroom break when—buzz.

new roomie

working hard? 😇

+1 image attachment

He squints. Still “new roomie”? Seriously? He never changed it? Whatever. He opens the text.

The sound that bursts out of him is not workplace appropriate. Somewhere between a gasp, a groan, and a noise that makes the intern glance over like he just sprouted horns. His phone tilts in his grip. His dick surges against his jeans like it’s been personally resurrected.

He shuts his eyes. Prays. God, please. Forty-five more minutes. I am but your humble, painfully hard servant.

Then he opens them again.

And that’s when he sees it.

You. In his bed. Naked. Where he wanted you this morning, when you told him he was late and shoved him out the door with that little grin.

He exhales like he’s been punched in the chest. Motherfucker.

His reply is simple:

kook🍜: 😦

Then, with trembling hands, he edits your contact.

From: new roomie

To: thirst trap🎀

Because yeah. You’re not just the new roomie anymore. You’re the reason he’s about to get written up for popping wood during a lentil campaign.

One Hour Later

You’re still in his bed. Still smug. Scrolling TikTok like you didn’t just detonate his sanity.

The front door clicks open. Closes.

Silence.

Then—his voice, low and calm in a way that feels anything but safe.

“Where are you.”

Your stomach flips.

Footsteps.

And then he’s in the doorway—duffle bag slung from one shoulder, hat backwards, white tee clinging to his chest like it’s terrified to let go. His jaw is tight. His eyes are dark. His mouth parts, just slightly, like he’s already imagining how he’s going to ruin you.

You open your mouth, maybe to say something dumb like hey, but you don’t get the chance.

Because Jungkook drops the bag, crosses the room in three long strides, and grabs your ankle.

“Jungk—”

“You think I forgot about that picture?” His voice is a growl, low and dark, like thunder crawling over the horizon.

He yanks, and your body slides down the bed in one swift motion, the mattress squeaking its betrayal. Your pulse stutters.

“I—”

“You sent me a nude while I was surrounded by soup cans, Y/N.” His grip climbs your ankle, thumb pressing into the bone, sliding higher. “Do you know what you did to me? I was walking around that set like a loaded weapon.”

The way he says loaded weapon makes heat shoot straight through your stomach.

His hand drags along your calf, your knee, settling heavy at your thigh. You’re breathless, pinned by nothing but his presence.

“Jungkook—”

“Shut up.” His eyes flick down your body—your tiny tank, no bra, your hips half-bared by the blanket. His chest heaves. “Jesus. Look at you.”

And then he’s on you.

His mouth crashes against yours, rough and wet and claiming, tongue sliding in like it’s been starving all day. You whimper into it, clutching at his shirt, but he doesn’t give you time to think, let alone breathe. He rips the blanket away in one motion.

Air chills your skin. His gaze scorches it.

“Turn over.”

“What—”

“Now.”

The command cracks through you like a whip. You obey, rolling onto your stomach, cheek pressed to his pillow that smells like him.

Before you can process, his hands grip your hips, yanking them up until you’re on your knees, ass in the air. You gasp, scrambling for balance.

“Jungkook—”

“Mhm.” His voice is low, vibrating against your spine. “You’re getting punished.”

A shocked laugh slips from you, breathless. “For what?”

His palms spread over the swell of your ass, kneading hard. “For being a fucking tease. For looking like that in my bed. For sending me that picture without me in it.”

And then he doesn’t wait.

His hands part you open, and his mouth is on your pussy. Immediate. Greedy. Loud.

You choke on a cry. The first drag of his tongue is slow, deliberate, all the way up your slit. He groans into it like he’s been dying of thirst and you’re water.

“God—Kook—fuck—”

He laughs against you, the vibration making your knees tremble. His fingers dig deeper into your hips as he buries his face, tongue flicking your clit, sucking until sparks shoot down your thighs.

“You miss me?” he mutters into you, words muffled, wet.

Your hips jolt. You nod frantically, hands clutching at the sheets.

A sharp smack lands on your ass, just enough to sting. You yelp.

“I said,” his voice is darker now, “did you miss me?”

“Yes—fuck—yes, I missed you, I missed your mouth, please—”

He chuckles, low and dangerous, before diving back in. His tongue moves in ruthless patterns, his lips sealing around your clit, his moans turning obscene. Fingers slide inside you, curling just right, hitting where it aches.

Your thighs quake. Your vision blurs. You’re already too close—he hasn’t even been here ten minutes and you’re unraveling.

“You’re gonna come already?” he taunts, breath hot against you. “Just from my mouth?”

You moan, broken and desperate, nodding against the pillow.

And then you do.

It crashes through you, violent and sharp, your entire body spasming as you scream into his sheets. Thighs trembling, fists white-knuckled in the fabric, your back arches helplessly as he holds you down and keeps going, licking you through it, moaning like he’s the one coming.

When it finally ebbs, he kisses the inside of your thigh—sweet, tender—and flips you onto your back before you can recover.

You blink up at him, dazed. His mouth is glistening, chin wet, eyes black with hunger.

He licks his lips and smirks. “We’re not done. Not even close.”

He’s crawling over you now, shirt already tugged halfway up his chest, muscles flexing with every movement.

“Hands up,” he orders.

You obey without thinking, arms lifted, wrists brushing the headboard. He strips the tank top off you in one motion and tosses it aside, his gaze raking down your body like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you.

“Fuck,” he breathes, almost reverent. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

His lips trail down your neck, teeth grazing, tongue soothing, sucking until your skin is claimed in red marks that will bloom darker later. You arch beneath him, chest brushing his as his cock drags heavy against your thigh. He groans at the contact, forehead pressing to yours.

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you.” Your voice is ragged, trembling. “Please, Kook.”

That word breaks him.

His jeans hit the floor in seconds. He fists himself once, twice—just enough to smear precum along his length—before he’s pressing against your entrance. He pauses, eyes locked to yours.

“You ready?”

“Yes—”

The first thrust steals the rest of your word.

He slides in deep, bottoming out in one relentless push that makes you gasp so loud it echoes. Your back arches, toes curling, nails clawing the sheets.

“Holy—fuck—”

“Yeah,” he groans, jaw clenching, head tipping back. “You missed this, huh? Missed me inside you?”

You nod frantically, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes from the stretch, the sheer overwhelming fullness.

Then he moves.

Slow at first, letting you feel every inch, then faster—harder—until the headboard is thudding softly against the wall and your moans are spilling raw, broken. His name falls from your lips like prayer.

He kisses you through it, deep and wet, swallowing every sound you make until he pulls back to watch your face as he thrusts deeper.

“Open your mouth,” he commands, and when you do, he pushes his thumb inside, fucking you while you suck, drool slipping down your chin. He groans at the sight, hips snapping harder.

When your body starts trembling again, he flips you fast, guiding you onto your stomach.

“Up,” he mutters, dragging your hips high, chest pressed to the mattress. “That’s it. Fuck, look at you.”

He drives into you from behind, the angle sharper, deeper, brutal in its precision. You scream into the pillow, nails shredding fabric, your ass colliding with his thighs with every stroke.

“You like that?” His voice is ragged, dripping with filth. “Getting fucked like this? My cock splitting you open?”

“Yes—yes—fuck, don’t stop—”

He doesn’t. He grabs your hair, fisting it, yanking your head back so your spine curves as he pounds into you. Your orgasm rips through you, violent and relentless, your body shuddering around him, and he groans, riding you through it.

“Not done,” he growls, pulling out only to flip you again.

Now you’re in his lap, straddling him, his cock already sliding back in as he grips your ass and bounces you onto him.

“Ride me,” he grits out. “Show me how much you missed me.”

You brace on his shoulders, rolling your hips, grinding down until his head tips back, throat exposed, groaning your name. The sound alone almost undoes you.

But he takes control again, gripping your waist, slamming you down harder, faster, until you’re sobbing into his chest. Another orgasm tears through you, soaking him, your thighs shaking as you cry out against his neck.

Still, he doesn’t stop.

He lifts you, spins you, lays you flat again—missionary, but with your ankles thrown over his shoulders this time. His body presses you into the mattress, cock slamming deep with every thrust, and his eyes burn into yours.

“Mine,” he rasps. Each thrust punctuates the word. “You’re fucking mine.”

Tears blur your vision, the pleasure too sharp, too much.

“No more pictures,” he growls, forehead pressed to yours, sweat dripping down his temple, “unless I’m taking them with my mouth between your thighs.”

That’s what shatters you. Your body arches, orgasm ripping through you harder than the rest, walls spasming around him until he can’t hold it back anymore—he curses, groans your name, and spills inside you, grinding deep until he’s empty.

He stays there. Buried. Panting. Shaking.

Then, slowly, he leans down and kisses you. Soft. Long. Like the filth never happened. Like you’re breakable.

When he finally pulls out, he collapses beside you and drags your body against his chest, his arm heavy and possessive over your waist.

You’re wrecked, hair plastered to your cheeks, breath uneven. You whisper, “I think my soul left my body.”

He smirks, eyes half-lidded, lips brushing your temple.

“Good. I’m keeping it.”

The room is still humming with the echoes of what just happened—your ragged breaths, the creak of his bed frame, the faint buzz of cicadas outside the window. The air smells like sex and sandalwood, and you can feel his cum leaking warm between your thighs, sticking to his sheets.

Jungkook doesn’t let you move. Not an inch. His arm is heavy across your waist, chest pressed to your back, nose buried in your damp hair like he’s anchoring himself.

“You okay?” he murmurs, voice hoarse, thumb stroking lazy circles on your hip.

You manage a laugh that sounds more like a wheeze. “I think my nervous system is fried.”

He chuckles, low and fond, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Good. Means I did my job.”

“Your job?” You roll onto your back to look at him, hair sticking to your forehead. “Pretty sure you just tried to kill me.”

He grins, dimple flashing even though his eyes are still dark and glassy. “Nah. If I killed you, I couldn’t keep you.”

Your chest flutters, but you shove at him weakly. “That’s morbid.”

“Romantic,” he corrects, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Don’t ruin my line.”

You sigh, content, sinking into the warmth of him. For a while, there’s only silence. His hand trails idly over your stomach, up your ribs, down again like he can’t stop mapping you.

Then, casually, “So… no more midday thirst traps?”

You bite back a smile. “No promises.”

His head lifts, scandalized. “Y/N.”

“What? You looked cute stressed out. I was doing you a favor.”

He groans, burying his face in your chest. “I almost got fired for having a boner in front of a soup display.”

You laugh, fingers carding through his sweat-damp hair. “Better than being fired for bad lighting.”

He hums into your skin, warm and sulky. Then, quieter: “Still changed your name, though.”

You blink. “What?”

He grins against you, lips brushing your sternum. “Check my phone later. You’re not ‘new roomie’ anymore.”

You narrow your eyes, suspicious. “What am I, then?”

He doesn’t answer—just smirks, mouth trailing down your ribs again like he’s about to start round two.

© 2025 JJUNGKOOKII. Please don’t copy, translate, or repost—share the original link! ♡

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Index

taglist: @sorilyae @cherrylovescheol @auroradamned @somehowukook @petroogorodnik @parkinglot-nights @irohase @butterymin @icylattae @kelsyx33 @kookienooki @whothefuckisthishoe @nabiisplanet @army7-013 @cravingforbangtan @j0cgr0c @yooniepot @mar-lo-pap @annyeongbitch7 

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #58

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.

Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day. 

You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin. 

For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done. 

“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message. 

Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought. 

Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes. 

Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good. 

Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously. 

Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue. 

It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now. 

Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys. 

After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it. 

“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best. 

You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten. 

“What do you think?”

“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.

“Why not?”

“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.

Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”

You pout, rolling your eyes at him.

“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”

“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”

God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.

“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”

“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”

Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.

“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.

Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”

“It happens here a lot though.”

“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”

“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself. 

“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”

“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”

“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”

“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.

“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”

“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”

You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”

“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.

“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”

Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.

“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.

“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”

“It is. Can you blame him?”

“What do you mean?”

“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”

You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”

“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”

“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”

“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.

“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”

You snicker, “It's a bummer.”

“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”

“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”

“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”

You cackle. 

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”

“Just admit you love talking to me.”

He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.” 

He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat. 

“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”

“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically. 

He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”

You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”

“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”

He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.

“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.

You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”

His eyes widen, your smile dropping.

“Kook?”

“Holy shit,”

“What?”

“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”

“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”

“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”

“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.

“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”

“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious. 

Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”

You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you. 

“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”

“You don't know that.” you scoff.

“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”

“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.

“Just don't drive anywhere.”

“I won't.” you promise, voice softening. 

“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”

“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.” 

He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.” 

“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you. 

“Stop messing around. I am not.”

“Jesus, sorry.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”

“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.

He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.

You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder. 

“Kook?” 

“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine. 

“Drive safely, okay?”

“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”

You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin. 

Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now  – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him. 

Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.

“Jimin is there.”

“What happened? Did he tell you?”

Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”

Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.

You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend. 

“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before. 

Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”

Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before. 

Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”

When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”

He straightens his posture.

“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”

You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it. 

But you don't. 

“I was here with Kiko.”

You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.

“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name. 

You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”

“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.

“Was she hospitalized here?”

“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.

“Just answer, Jeon.”

“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”

“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”

Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.

“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!” 

“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend. 

“I advise you that.”

He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”

“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall. 

You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up. 

“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”

“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor. 

Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here. 

Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother  – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you. 

Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her. 

“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”

That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.

“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend. 

Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching? 

Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are. 

“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you. 

Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room. 

There he is. 

If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight. 

Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately. 

That has to be her.

But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans. 

“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.

Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself. 

“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.

“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”

“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.

“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.

Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”

“Jimin-ah!”

“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm. 

“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?

“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.

“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”

“Well, that's great.” you mutter.

“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”

“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.

The room is filled with craziness. 

Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart. 

The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her. 

“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend. 

“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away. 

“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot. 

“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.” 

Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”

“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–” 

Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”

“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl. 

“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”

“Really? Because he really didn't–”

You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other. 

“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”

She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him. 

“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend. 

You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.

“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”

“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast. 

Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”

“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains. 

“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”

The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout. 

“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little. 

“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile. 

“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”

“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”

“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”

You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping. 

“You have to go.”

“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.

“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?” 

You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”

Snorting, you shake your head at your friend. 

“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him. 

“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement. 

“This fucking sucks.” 

You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”

A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away. 

“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”

Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone. 

She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key. 

As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.

You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again. 

“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin. 

She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine. 

Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym. 

“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you. 

Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”

“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.

“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.

“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”

“I'm not a child.”

“Sometimes you act like it.”

“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”

“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”

Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook. 

It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone. 

“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds. 

“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.” 

She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.

“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.

“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips. 

“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.

“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”

“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.

Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.

“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.” 

Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this. 

“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation. 

Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.

“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy. 

Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”

You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met. 

“She's quiet.”

You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk. 

“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home. 

During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it. 

It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?

But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably. 

It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right? 

“You think so?”

Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”

“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”

“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.

You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”

“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”

“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”

“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”

“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”

“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”

“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”

Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”

While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”

“Hm?”

“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”

Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”

He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead. 

“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.

For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship. 

“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”

“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”

“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”

“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid. 

Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that. 

“I just–would it be wise?”

“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.

“Well–just the two of us.”

Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now. 

“So that's what you're nervous about?”

You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite. 

It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.

“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”

It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”

But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement. 

“I didn't even think about that.”

“Mhm, mhm.”

He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”

“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you. 

“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”

“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”

“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. 

He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.

You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another. 

“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”

“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow. 

You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”

“Ouch.”

“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”

Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”

“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”

“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”

You inhale shakily.

“Can you?”

You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.

Well–fuck.

“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”

Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes. 

“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”

Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”

It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin. 

And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious. 

“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”

He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead. 

“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”

“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”

“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.

“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”

God why is it so hard to put any words out?

“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”

He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day. 

“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?” 

Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”

“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”

Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?

“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”

“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”

“Yes?”

“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”

“I made you nervous?” He laughs.

“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”

Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it. 

“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”

“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”

He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”

You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious. 

“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”

Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.

And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car. 

He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said. 

One thing you know for sure.

This vacation will be one hell of a ride. 

One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.

Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport. 

Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.

Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.

Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest. 

You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too. 

“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”

“We will.”

“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”

“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”

“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”

“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.

“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”

“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”

“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.

“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”

“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”

“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs. 

So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue. 

While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder. 

Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”

“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”

“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”

You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”

“Love you too.”

You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.

The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions. 

“Oh my god.” 

Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi. 

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”

Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.

That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly. 

“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.

You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.

“What's our plan for today?”

You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?

You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head. 

“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”

“Sounds good.” 

The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.

While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you. 

And at that moment you think;

It's a good thing you decided to go.

You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people. 

Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you. 

You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside. 

The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh. 

“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.

“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”

You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down. 

“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.

“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.

Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough. 

Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.

“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.

That's a safer choice anyway.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”

You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it. 

When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.

One that appears to be more than successful.

“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea. 

The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night. 

From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is. 

It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort. 

The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.

The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.

“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”

“Don't worry about it.”

“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”

“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”

“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“Jungkook!” 

However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun. 

There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face. 

“Jungkook, I'm serious.”

“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”

You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.

“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”

“Yes, but–”

“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”

You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”

“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”

He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.

“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”

“Good.”

And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.

When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze. 

“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck. 

“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”

You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”

“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom. 

You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart. 

He's not going to make this easy, is he?

Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging. 

The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you. 

You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.

This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation. 

Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.

Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.

After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.

You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.

Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later. 

Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of. 

Just focus on you, and your friendship.

“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.

Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here. 

There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already. 

“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up. 

Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up. 

“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.

At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.

“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.

See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself. 

He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this. 

Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii. 

So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.

“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow. 

Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”

“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily. 

Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe. 

And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while. 

Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things. 

Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy. 

“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”

You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.

“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”

“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”

He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him. 

You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks. 

When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it. 

“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”

Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.

Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.

“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you. 

“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way. 

“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.” 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though. 

In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?

To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style. 

As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.

“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”

Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.

You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”

“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.

“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”

Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”

“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible. 

“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”

“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”

“Did it make you feel weird?”

“Well–”

“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.

“I barely said anything!”

“You don't have to, I know that look.”

“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.

“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back. 

He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”

“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.

You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.

Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow. 

“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”

“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement. 

“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”

“Cocky as always.”

He shrugs, “I never hid it.”

You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”

“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”

“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”

“If I told you yes, would you change?”

You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”

“Then no, it's perfect.”

“Jungkook!” 

He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”

“What?” you mumble innocently.

Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.

“You look beautiful.”

You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”

“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.

“So seriously.”

“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”

“Woah.”

“Yeah, woah.”

“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea. 

“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.

You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face. 

“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?

You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook. 

“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”

“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”

You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”

“Mhm.”

“Get in here.”

“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you. 

“I'm gonna get you.”

“Come here then.”

And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you. 

You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”

Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”

You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”

“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”

“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore. 

“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.” 

You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”

“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”

“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth. 

“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be. 

And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake. 

Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline. 

So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.

After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that. 

And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.

The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you. 

You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not. 

Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before. 

As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.

But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently. 

While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well. 

As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else. 

Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns. 

He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down. 

“What?”

You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through. 

This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.

He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.

“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”

“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.

“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”

As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you. 

But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.

“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”

He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”

“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”

“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.

“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”

“If I said I am, would you change?”

“Of course not.”

He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”

“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”

“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.” 

Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him. 

“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”

Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.

“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul. 

“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make. 

It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.

Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.

You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.

Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever. 

You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it. 

Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.

Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.

Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.

Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second. 

You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone. 

Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life. 

Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you. 

You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else. 

You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.

And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second. 

You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping. 

Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.

Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.

You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact. 

“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes. 

Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.

Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.

“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling. 

A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.

“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side. 

“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”

You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy. 

“What are we doing first today?” 

Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.

“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.” 

“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.

“You only live once.”

“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.

You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.

“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”

Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom. 

“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you. 

He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice. 

“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”

You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.

“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?” 

“You should know that by now.” 

You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.

Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather. 

Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow. 

Is this his way of keeping his distance? 

Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it. 

Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though. 

You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.

But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here? 

You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.

“Do you mind?”

You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower. 

“Unless you wanna join me.”

It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.

“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.

“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare. 

“Now I do.”

“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.

His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.

Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts. 

“Kook, are you really sure?” 

After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening. 

He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.

Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well. 

Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical. 

“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?

He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it. 

“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.

It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement. 

“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”

He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”

“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.

“You should stop watching horror movies.”

Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”

He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”

“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”

“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”

Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.

“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch. 

“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”

“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”

“We could still do that. After I jump.”

“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side. 

“Taehyung would jump with me.”

“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”

You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook. 

He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.

Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured. 

“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask. 

All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out. 

He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you. 

“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.

You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too. 

“See you soon.”

“Jungkook!”

But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time. 

“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”

You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again. 

“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”

You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it. 

“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”

She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you. 

Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn. 

But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”

“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.

“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”

You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly. 

“You're crazy, you know that?”

He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”

Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”

He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack. 

He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.

“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”

Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off. 

You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades. 

That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle. 

You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?

As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.

And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of. 

You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it. 

He does.

It makes his grin even bigger. 

“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”

“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.

“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.

“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”

Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.

“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.

“I'm scared of many things.”

“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.

“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”

“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”

“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.

“Wha–”

You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.

“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”

“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.

He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”

“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”

Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.

“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”

He frowns, “When?”

“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”

Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.

“You remember that?”

“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.

“That was different,” he simply says.

“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”

“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”

You purse your lips.

“So don't compare those two.”

He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then. 

“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.

“Just don't dance on the table this time.”

“Why would I do that?” you laugh.

“To get back at me.”

It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need. 

You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.

It's the next and second day of you officially being here. 

Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay. 

Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all. 

Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.

Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there. 

Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade. 

You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time. 

His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home. 

He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now. 

Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.

They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them. 

It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that. 

They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then. 

Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”

Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.

Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered. 

It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal. 

You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.

“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”

You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.

Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.

“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”

He lifts his brow, “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”

You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.

“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”

“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”

He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”

At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game. 

Interesting to watch, you may say. 

Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.

For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are. 

They're women.

But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.

So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?

Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?

“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”

Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”

“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”

“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”

“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”

You're sure they are.

“Maybe I will join you later or something.”

“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”

“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished. 

You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.

Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model. 

Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.

You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you. 

“Hey–” 

Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.

“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”

Friend. That stings for a split second.

“I am, and?”

He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline. 

“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”

Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake. 

You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.

“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”

You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin. 

“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”

His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks. 

“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone. 

“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”

“Always?”

“We're here for the third time.”

“We.”

“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.” 

Just like Jungkook right now. 

“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”

He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”

And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you. 

You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”

You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others. 

“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.

Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him. 

“Cool!”

“Great!”

“I'm Nat, what's your name?”

All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.

You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets. 

“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest. 

“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”

“Of course not.”

“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”

“What's fun in that?”

“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks. 

“Gabriel.”

He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on. 

“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest. 

You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”

“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”

“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.

“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”

You shrug, “He offered.”

He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”

“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”

His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”

Fuck, you should've stay silent. 

“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”

You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away. 

“Okay.”

Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.

a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!! 

I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before. 

I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things. 

I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.

But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊

So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!

If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!

goal: 2k notes 🌙

© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

[chateautae]

risk management | kth. (m)

➵ summary : you have one rule; you don’t date investment bankers, point blank period. but when your best friend invites you to her over-the-top housewarming party to meet her husband’s co-worker, kim taehyung, you don’t expect the night to take a wild turn; and risk bending your own rules. 

➵ pairing: investment banker!taehyung x f. reader

➵ genre : non-idol!au, s2l, smut, pwp

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 9.4k

➵ warnings : alcohol consumption, swearing, sexual tension, heavy making out, mentions of exhibitionism (nobody sees them), big dicc!tae, against a window sex, unprotected sex (you’re smarter than this guys), ass, breast and pussy fondling (the holy trinity <3), sir kink!!, dirty talk, brief hand-jobbing, oral (m. and f. receiving), panty sniffing, denied orgasm, marking, riding, ass smacking, scratching, cum swallowing, 

➵ a/n : as always, your feedback means the world to me <3

➵ playlist : take a slice by glass animals 

Walking into Nabi’s home was the equivalent of waltzing into a bakery shop. The warm, aesthetic lighting provided a sense of homey comfort, the woodsy, though elegant furnishing and indoor pieces added an exquisite touch of sophistication, and the heavenly smell of freshly baked cherry pie welcomed you into a cozy paradise. 

The front door shuts behind you, and you’re privy to at least three dozen people chattering and mingling away. Some clink glasses of liquor together. Others pick off the appetizers in the opulent kitchen while a handful smoke outside on the lawn. 

Eyes surfing the crowd of people, you attempt to spot your best friend. Some familiar faces indeed catch your sight, though it’s the amount of new ones that settle some anxiety in the pit of your stomach. It’s not that you’re bad with people; you can actually be quite interpersonal, though the idea that many of these people are strangers leaves you slightly displaced, taking a deep breath. 

Exhaling, you’re suddenly interrupted by a familiar cheery voice latching onto your arm. 

“Y/N, you came!” 

“Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?” You joke with her. “I know how important this is to you.” 

“Thank you. I was seriously getting worried you wouldn’t come. I’m so glad you did!” Nabi’s usually chirpy nature curves your lips, chuckling a little. “God, you must be starving. Let’s get you into the kitchen.” 

Nabi leads the way towards her grand, quite impressive kitchen. You have to honestly raise your brows, lips slightly hanging open at the shimmering granite countertops, the sleek induction stove, and the expansive storage space. She surely had an eye for interior design. 

When Nabi told you she and her husband Namjoon would be purchasing a new home, never did you expect a house of this caliber. It was already located in quite the expensive, high-class neighbourhood, but stepping inside to assess the luster yourself felt like a reality check. 

You live nowhere near this luxury. 

“Oh my God, Y/N, I have news.” Nabi dramatically begins, tugging you towards the table of appetizers. You nab a small plate as you choose some posh finger foods, attention shifting towards your best friend. 

“Soooo, some of Namjoon’s co-workers are here.” She playfully bounces her brows, wiggling her shoulders a little to indicate something mischievous. How very Nabi of her, you think. 

“Ah, speaking of Namjoon, I haven’t been able to say hi to him.” 

“And that’s exactly why I’m telling you this.” She sing-songs, much too proud and giddy to not be scheming something evil. 

“Nabi.. what in God’s name did you do?” 

“Nothing! I just wanted to tell you that Namjoon’s with a co-worker right now.” She explains, but soon begins nudging your side as you bite into a cube of Brie. “And guess which co-worker he’s with?” 

You gently raise your brows in question, your round eyes conveying an ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ look of inquiry. Nabi ends up huffing in complaint with a  roll of her eyes, suddenly snatching your snack plate from you and placing it down on her table. 

“Wha-Nabi!” 

“You’re coming with me.” She rigidly instructs, clasping onto your wrist and dragging you across her kitchen. You protest against her, grievous over your lonely plate of food. 

“Nabi, are you serious?!” 

“Very. You haven’t said hi to Namjoon yet, and that’s a crime in my household!” She valiantly declares, to which you roll your eyes to the back of your head and unwillingly tag along. 

Nabi tugs you through her house far enough she reaches her living room looking out into her backyard, another show of just how luxurious her new home is. She only stops once you both spot her husband Namjoon, who is indeed speaking to a coworker. The stranger’s suit-cladded back is faced towards you both, your attention falling towards an (objectively) striking Namjoon. His hair is impeccably styled, and he adorns a clean, white dress shirt with a fitting vest. 

“Baby!” Nabi calls her hubby, and Namjoon’s distracted within minutes. 

“Hey, Bee, what’s up?” Namjoon instinctively asks his wife, and it always manages to melt your heart how considerate he is of her. He spots you immediately and waves a hand as he begins approaching you two, his smile dimply and dashing. 

“Hey, Y/N, it’s so great you came!” Namjoon chimes, soon wrapping his big, muscly arms around you for a bear hug. You nearly lose air; he’s gotten huge over the few months you haven’t seen him. You kindly return the embrace, giving his large back a friendly rub. 

Just as you let go, Namjoon gestures towards the co-worker he was speaking to. “Sorry I didn’t get to greet you at the door, Y/N. I was just with a friend. Taehyung-ah!” 

Right then and there, said co-worker of Namjoon swivels around, revealing himself with a charming smile and beautiful, yet fierce eyes that cause every feminine fiber within your being to become attracted. 

This is quite literally the most handsome man you have ever laid witness upon. 

He makes careful, slow strides over to the group, and you can’t help but notice how long and model-like his legs are; the confidence in his steps, the assured posture of his squared shoulders and back, the sharp, cutting edge of his sexy jawline. His brows were strong, lips wide and full, the expression he wore on his face equivalent to the ruler of a kingdom. 

“Yes, Taehyung! Come meet Y/N!” Nabi becomes far too elated, grasping your shoulder. “This is the Taehyung I told you about.” She harshly whispers by your ear, to which you are finally greeted by reality. 

Fuck. 

How could you have become so distracted so as to not recognize the man’s name? Nabi has never shut her trap about him ever since the day she met him, and your eyes shockingly widen once she mutters those words to you. You turn to quietly scold her, but you’re soon interrupted by Taehyung joining the group. 

“Hey, everyone.” 

Fuck, he has a deep voice. 

You’ve always had an uncontrollable attraction towards deep voices. 

That aside, you tug at Nabi’s arms encircling your bicep, gently rebuking her in a (hopefully) discreet voice. 

“Nabi, what the hell? I thought I told you I wasn’t up for this?” 

Clearly, you’re horrid at whispering because Namjoon and Taehyung across from you both fall silent, causing enough awkward tension in the air for Nabi to crack a very fake, deliberately polite smile. 

“Sorry, boys. Would you excuse us?” 

Nabi quickly ensnares your wrist to angrily tug you into a separate room, presuming it’s a guest room. She turns towards you after shutting the door with baffled eyes and firmly crossed arms, evidently pissed. 

“Y/N, what the fuck?!” 

“What, Nabi?” 

“Why would you say that when he was literally right there?” Nabi gestures for emphasis. 

You grievously sigh, despising that you were falling into this frustrating line of discussion again. You know all about this, Taehyung, your best friend has been trying to get on your radar. It’s not exactly exclusive information that you’re single. It’s painstakingly obvious being one of the only unmarried and childless friends among your peers. It’s what makes all of them seek out copious amounts of men for you to finally get hitched with. But there’s always the satirical element to every time you meet any of them; they all usually fall into the same pattern of failure. 

They’re either egotistical assholes that are unknowledgeable on how to take care of a woman, are far too fragile with their masculinity to even earn a smidge of criticism on the way they eat pussy, or are plain jane cookie-cutter corporate dogs. Most of the time, it irks your soul, being left with fickle relationships that end horribly or somewhat okay sex that eventually dwindles out into dry text messages. 

Sure, sometimes you get a good fuck or two in there, but none of that matters anymore. You’re tired of assholes, tired of the same routine of sorry-assed men that can sometimes never even get you to cum. 

Of course, you’re not saying all of this applies to Taehyung. You won’t subject the innocent man to such scrutinizing standards already. From what you knew, he was a kind, respectful and hard-working man. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. There was surely something undeniably intriguing about him, and the sweet rise of his cheeks indicated to you he was indeed a pleasant man; there was no doubt about that. 

But there was just one goddamn thing about him. 

“Nabi, I fucking told you I don’t date investment bankers. You know how I feel about them ever since we found out the pattern of all my failed dates; they were all in finance!” 

“Y/N, c’mon, babe. You can’t hold this prejudiced mindset about all investment bankers, didn’t you see the man? He’s scrumptious!” 

“He’s scrumptious, yes, but I’ll still hold my bias against investment bankers ever since one literally answered a business call when he was balls deep inside me.” 

Nabi sighs, hand to her forehead as she rubs out the figurative stress piling onto her. “Y/N, look. I get it. I know you don’t date guys like him, but… give him a chance, will you? I got to know him, and he’s a sweet guy.” She softes her tone to persuade you, intertwining her fingers with yours to play with them. 

“He has a lot in common with you, and he did say he’d like to meet you.” She speaks through puckered lips to coat her tone with sugary sweetness, honestly loosening up as you watch her doe eyes plead you. “You’d be a good match, Y/N. Just one chance.” 

Perhaps the night would be a disaster, or perhaps you could find someone actually worthwhile; you’d never know if you didn’t try. That, and the combination of Nabi’s puppy-like eyes and adorable pout, do you in, ultimately acquiescing. 

“Fine, fine.. I’ll meet him.” you drawl, to which your best friend springs to life.

Nabi happily bumps a fist in the air as she celebrates, squeaking a series of elated explanations about Taehyung as she leads you out the room and towards this seemingly perfect match of an investment banker. 

“Namjoon, baby, we should probably set up dinner for our guests, don’t you think?” Nabi inserts herself back into Namjoon and Taehyung’s conversation, thanking God he hadn’t left yet after you so rudely whispered about him. 

“Of course, love. We should get going.” Namjoon secretly communicates with his wife through his eyes, his smile growing equally as scheming as hers. God, they’re the perfect match. 

“We’ll see you two around.” Namjoon politely excuses himself and Nabi from you and Taehyung, to which your best friend shoots you a cute wave and wink, and Namjoon similarly flashes a finger gun and suggestive bounce of his brows to Taehyung. 

The displaced pair of you send tentative waves back to your friends, eyes finally, though nervously shifting towards each other. The sheepish two of you gently chuckle then, attempting to cut the nerves and welcome some ease between you. 

“Hi.” Taehyung begins. 

“Hi.” 

Your fingers dig into your Coach wristlet, maintaining a smile. It’s not that you’re anxious, but something about Taehyung automatically makes you assume a shier demeanour, his own exuding a subtle alpha-male power you’ve never felt before. Other men have channeled such power, but only with demeaning or dogmatic intentions; never so subtle and yet, enticing like this. 

“So, it seems you and Nabi had a lot to say, huh?” 

Your eyes immediately go wide, remembering he very clearly heard what you said about him and seemed intelligent enough to fill in the blanks of your private conversation. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about that. I was just- I wasn’t-”

“Expecting to meet someone new so soon, I get you.” Taehyung considerately offers an answer, to which you honestly feel your heart slow down its erratic beating, your lips curving into a smile of gratitude. 

“I’m Taehyung, by the way, Kim Taehyung.” He extends his hand, introducing himself quite suavely. His deep, baritone voice is what warms you up to him. There’s something so innately soothing about it.

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You clasp onto his hand, and it’s almost embarrassing how your eyes widen. His hands are huge, his slender, ring-slated fingers long enough to entirely engulf your hand, the expanse of his warm palm wide enough he could most likely grab you with ease. 

You place a pin in that thought before it makes your legs squirm. 

“So..” You clear your throat, releasing him to fish yourself out of your delusions. “Your friends with both Nabi and Joon, huh?”

“Yeah, I work with Namjoon. I just got transferred to his department a few months ago. I’m-”

“An investment banker, right?” You finish for him, to which he puckers his lips with impression, his eyes bright with surprise. 

“Yeah, I am.” He confirmed with a smile, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Is it possible he’s nervous about meeting you, too? You don’t want to toot your own horn, squashing the contemplation. 

“How do you know Nabi?” 

“She’s my best friend. I’ve known her since our first year of high school.”

“Wow, you guys must be-”

“Like peanut butter and jam, yeah.” You both adorn amicable smiles, enjoying the company. Taehyung’s already turning out to be quite pleasant, exhibiting actual manners and social etiquette as you work through small talk. 

It’s almost comedic how even such simple decency seems so rare these days. 

“And you’re a..?” Taehyung suddenly obstructs your thoughts, drawing out his question for you to answer. 

“Oh, I’m studying for my PhD in psychology. Professor is my goal.” 

“Ah, at the university here, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s always been a dream of mine to teach.” You honestly admit, watching Taehyung reveal a quite... breath-taking smile, you notice. He seems thoroughly interested in what you have to say, and you quickly find a liking towards his personable aura. Taehyung’s close to speaking again until a rowdy group of men next to you almost impede on your personal space, instinctively cowering away. 

Taehyung’s eyes shift towards the group, jutting out an arm in between you and the careless stranger. 

“We should probably move.” He instructs, and something about the caramel smooth tone of his voice compels you to do so, to feel safe about it. Taehyung encircles his arm around you, not exactly touching you, but shielding precariously as he moves you both further away from the partygoers. He may not be directly contacting your skin, but the proximity of his presence alone suffuses you with a sense of fiery hormones. 

He smells incredible. 

The pair of you settle beside the backyard door, now much more secluded in the corner of the grand living room. Taehyung retracts his arm then, settling it by his side as he holds his glass of wine while you tuck some hair behind your ear. 

He swishes around the mahogany liquid in his glass, while you twiddle with your fingers. A beat of wary, nearly awkward silence passes until Taehyung bravely breaks the ice.  

“So.. Nabi and Namjoon keep telling me that I should ask you out.” 

There it is, the big elephant in the room. You should’ve known Namjoon was also indoctrinating the idea into Taehyung’s head, being a schemer just like his wife. Namjoon’s obvious encouragement earlier and the tangibly nervous shuffling of Taehyung’s feet was also a tell-tale sign. 

“Oh-please, I’m so sorry about this, but I don’t really date investment bankers.” You admit as courteously as possible. 

“Oh really, now?” Taehyung seems slightly taken aback but handles the information surprisingly well. 

You immediately scramble to clarify things. “Sorry, it’s nothing against you per se... I just-don’t necessarily have a liking towards corporate men.” 

“Ah, I see.” Taehyung charmingly smiles, and something about the curve of his pretty lips makes you want to kiss them. 

No, no.. you can’t have those thoughts. You cannot possibly be thinking about such things when you’re quite literally turning the gorgeous man down.  

“Just not your type, huh?” Taehyung catches your drift, and you let out a sigh of relief for his understanding. 

“Essentially? I’ve just had terrible experiences with them, and I’m not into the whole egotistical capitalist mentality.” 

“I mean,” Taehyung begins, and it’s hard to miss the way his eyes aren’t necessarily kind and polite anymore. They’ve been coloured with a darker shade, his gaze much more piercing, almost wild. “We’re all slaves to capitalism at the end of the day, aren’t we?”

You gulp listening to the slow, alluring cadence of his deep voice, almost as though he was trying to lull you under a spell of his own making. You feel something in the pits of your stomach begin to knot, arousal causing you to fix your legs. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

Taehyung narrows his eyes a little as he observes the change in your tone; it’s much more lax, inviting. He takes the opportunity to lean his forearm against the wall you both occupy, taking half a step towards you, and it’s now you realize just how much he towers over you. The impenetrable persona of his climbable body causes you to swallow, shifting your eyes upwards to meet his. 

“Funny you don’t like investment bankers,” he comments with a suave tone. “I’m not really into students.”

Your eyebrows furrow with offence, the possible allusion that you’re a child in his eyes throwing you off. You do remember Nabi mentioning he’s a couple years older than you. 

And that suddenly makes him a thousand times hotter. Fuck. 

“Hey-” but you halt yourself, checking the tone of your voice. “I mean, we’re... all students of something, aren’t we?” You attempt to mirror his earlier comment concerning capitalism, noticing how he lightly smirks at your scrambling.

Is that something he enjoys? Seeing a woman flustered because of him? 

Why is that so insanely hot? 

“Perhaps,” Taehyung tilts his head in half-hearted agreement, eyes dancing over the guests of the party as he takes a slow, leisurely sip of his wine and returns to you. “Though I’m not into how pretentious doctorate students can be.” 

“Hey, I’m not pretentious-”

“And now you know exactly how I feel.”

You open your mouth for a retort but quickly pause. He got you there, your look of defensiveness dismantling into one of amusement, breaking out into a little chuckle. He was trying to get back at you. “I… I’m so sorry.” 

Taehyung similarly laughs, and suddenly the sweet chime of his giggle sounds mellifluous to your ears. “No big deal, I just… feel like changing your mind, Y/N.” He sincerely admits, and you soften at the show of genuity in his look, not so nervous anymore. 

You bite your lip as your eyes flicker towards the ground, feeling courage permeate through you as you meet his gaze once again. You step closer to him, almost leaning into the arm he’s casted against the wall, finding his irises to be a warm, tender colour of coffee. 

“So, here you are at a party drinking an exquisite glass of Merlot compared to the other money-hungry mongers at this party.” You joke. 

“Well, what would the other money-hungry mongers usually be drinking, anyway?” He plays along with a similar tone. 

“You’d usually find them with a glass of Scotch or Canadian Whiskey, tipped off with rocks, of course, because it adds a little more snazz to their parvenu looks, you get me?” 

Taehyung lets out a hearty laugh, joining him as he curtains his mouth with his palm. “Yeah, you’re totally right.” He agrees. 

“But not you… huh?” You won’t deny the suggestion that taints your tone, even bringing your hand to his bicep and just gently caressing him. You watch his eyes follow the action, observing calmly, calculatingly as he returns his gaze to you. He’s much more dangerous, tempting. 

“Not me, Y/N.” 

His reply and the way he recites your name drips with sin, the caramel smoothness of his voice rich enough to want to hear it against your skin. You’re both caught in a moment of simply absorbing each other, observing him bringing a finger to his bottom lip. He rubs slowly as he speaks, drawing your attention towards his mouth. 

“And what about you?”

“What about me, Taehyung?” 

“You have no drink in your hand.. which means you’re either not a drinker or you’ve got somewhere to go tomorrow morning?” Taehyung draws out as he attempts to uncover you, as though he were traversing the map of mystery within your eyes. “Perhaps to see someone..?” 

“Oh, no, I’m not seeing anyone at all.” You immediately respond, squashing that assumption. 

“What a coincidence… me neither.” 

You could feel the tension between you two. It was palpable, so dense even a diamond couldn’t cut through. There were only mere inches between your bodies, having absent-mindedly gravitated towards each other. Something’s compelling you to drag him into a room or get him out of here, to stick by his side the rest of the party until it leads to something riveting tonight. 

But your mind tells you this isn’t a good idea. Sure, despite being an investment banker, Taehyung was certainly sweet and kind, even a delicious man of sin who just looks like he’d let a woman ride his face into the sunset. However, they all seem like that at first until they eventually reveal the beastly, harsh truths behind their unappealing characters, knowing that as much as you feel tempted, whenever you made decisions with your pussy, it didn’t go very well. 

“I um… I’m gonna go find Nabi and see if she needs help with dinner.” You stupidly derail the conversation, Taehyung springing back into his courteous persona from before, as though he were also awakened from a trance. “It was great meeting you, Taehyung.. And I see where our friends think we could be a good match but I just… I don’t think we’re a good idea. I hope you can understand.” 

It’s only right. You don’t date investment bankers, and he’s not into PhD students, it makes perfect sense for you two to not tread any further than this. 

“Yeah, yeah.. Of course.” Taehyung sweetly smiles, not revealing any hurt or immature offence, but rather mutual understanding, thankful he was surprisingly so compassionate.

“It's okay, Y/N. I agree, it only makes sense.” He admits, propping his arm off the wall. “I’ll see you around the party, alright?” 

“Of course, enjoy yourself as well.” You politely reply. 

“Take care of yourself, Y/N.” He considerately bids a farewell, and it honestly feels good to hear such words. 

You kindly wave him off as he lets you go, appreciating how gentlemanly he was, and shooting him a grateful grin. “Take care, Taehyung. I’ll see you around.” 

Taehyung rams you against the front door, his full lips devouring every inch of your hot mouth. He breathes impatiently. 

“When you said see you around, I didn’t think you meant in my apartment.” 

Here you were; dress falling off your shoulders, wine drunk, and shoving your tongue down Kim Taehyung’s throat. You moan, feeling the power of his manhandling, the sheer, rough carnality to his movements absolutely riveting. You remain shoved up against the door of this high-rise apartment, his knee nestled between your legs as his large hands desperately tug your lips onto his. 

“Shut up and kiss me.” You breathe harshly as you dive in for his tongue, impatient with your movements as Taehyung laughs. 

Nabi was the instigator, the goddamn game master of this entire play because if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be licking into Kim Taehyung’s mouth in his luxurious, 17th-floor apartment at 2AM in the morning. 

She’s the one who suggested you all keep drinking her expensive wine, always bringing out another bottle the minute the previous one finished. You didn’t want to make things awkward with Taehyung for the rest of the party, what with him being a quite pleasant man, and a possible, potential friend, so you self-determined your earlier farewell to be temporary. 

He joined you, Nabi and Namjoon in keeping yourselves entertained all night, having laughed, joked and hollered together the more progressively drunk you all became. Nabi was always a schemer, honestly, because she knew wine always made you exponentially horny, and you had already been daydreaming of what Taehyung’s lips would feel like sucking on your throat. 

You don’t need to imagine it anymore, though, because right now, he popped off your mouth to trail kisses along the edge of your jawline, moaning his name as you desperately tugged at his beautiful locks of nearly-raven hair. 

“Fuck, Taehyung..” 

“Y/N..” 

The way he says your name in his deep voice leaves even more arousal pooling in your panties. His lips skim down the column of your throat as you throw your head back, eventually latching onto your pulse point. He lays tender, slow kisses before wrapping his lips completely around your skin, suckling and licking generously. 

Perhaps Nabi isn’t to blame at all when you recall the night. It wasn’t her fault the irreversible sexual tension you and Taehyung had established between each other ever since your conversation. It was lingering, evident, magnetic anytime you two even brushed arms. You didn’t miss the amount of times you caught him already staring at you, that one look of his so alluringly wild; and he could never keep his eyes off the way your legs squirmed anytime he even so much as lowered the tone of his voice. 

Hours of painstaking tension later, you were both outside and near his car. You allowed him to show you the upscale features of his Benz as you watched him with arrant horniness. He just seemed so sexy when he was demonstrating something, so caught up in your arousing thoughts, you actually misstepped and nearly fell over. 

You didn’t, though, because Taehyung immediately wrapped his arms around your waist to steady you, and the one, hooded-eyed, tipsy look of lust you gave him caused Taehyung to suddenly pull you flush against his body, and crash his lips against yours. 

Now, you were both hungrily eating at each other, tasting wine and pure desire on each other’s dancing tongues. Taehyung, shortly after his wet kisses along your neck, pulls you off the door. Shoes and your purse are removed along with jackets, Taehyung swiveling you around to walk you back into his apartment. 

You both carefully step back as Taehyung peels off his suit jacket, your hands quickly shredding them off his body too. You trail your red nails all over his chest and torso, nearly angry at his dress shirt, gatekeeping his skin from you. You can feel how deliciously sculpted he is, and it makes your pussy palpitate.

You can’t help the moan that escapes you as he rapidly rips off his tie, disconnecting for a mere millisecond to tug it entirely off until it’s tossed away, grabbing your face once again for messy kisses. 

The pair of you waddle far back enough your back contacts the seamless glass all of a sudden, breaking away to observe your surroundings. You breathe harshly as you take it all in. 

“Windows…” You mumble, every nerve of yours alight with insatiable arousal; you’re pushed against the floor-to-ceiling windows of Taehyung’s, you had to admit, beautiful apartment. High ceilings, aesthetic light fixtures, a grand, king-sized bed, sleek and minimalistic furnishing. 

This definitely looked like the apartment of a wealthy man. 

It offers the cityscape as his view, mesmerized by the myriad of lights and moving traffic along the spangly roads, but also, unpreventable openness.  

“Are you okay if we’re against them?” He breathes against your mouth, lips brushing each other’s as his palms press against the window either side of your head. He leans down to your height, and the hooded, flaming look in his eyes makes you throw every care for whoever could possibly see you two right now away. 

You grab his collar and collide your lips with his, allowing your undeniable horniness for him to consume every fiber inside you. 

“Yes, yes Taehyung.” You answer headily, impatiently, and Taehyung immediately engulfs you in an intoxicating, head-spinning kiss once again. 

You were thankful to have worn a dress of pretty thin material, moaning into Taehyung’s mouth as he pins his hips against yours, feeling the impressionable, delicious prodding of his hardened cock. You ignite with passionate fire, pressing your chest against his because the rub of your nipples against him feels heavenly. 

Tongue swirling around each other, Taehyung glides his hands down your body, feeling every inch, curve and divot of your figure, finally settling around your waist. His large palms feel gigantic, but in a way that leaves you excited about what other things he can do with his hands. 

As if reading your mind, they skim down over your dress until he grips your ass, biting your bottom lip as he tugs you closer to his heated body. You release him with a gasp, hands clutching onto his thick neck. 

“I thought you said.. you don’t date investment bankers.” He chides, a ghost of a smirk playing onto his luscious lips. You huff hard enough it fans some hair from your face, lungs full of intoxicating, enthralling intensity. 

“And you’re not into PhD students,” you snark, flipping your hair out of your face. “And technically, we’re not dating. We’re going to fuck.” 

Taehyung immediately hisses with satisfaction. “Damn, a woman who knows what she wants.” 

“And a man that finally knows what he’s doing.” You nearly croak as Taehyung’s deft fingers abandon squeezing your ass cheeks to rather slip underneath the skirt of your dress, the sweet taste of his breath kissing the apple of your cheek. 

“Trust me, sweetheart, I know exactly what I’m doing.” 

His proclamation leaves you keening, at a loss for more air once Taehyung bypasses the band of your panties, and dips right into your sticky, sopping pussy lips. 

He hisses once again in pleasure, speaking deeply against your lips. “God, you’re so fucking wet.” The searing cadence of his tone leaves you gushing more essence, gasping when Taehyung boldly cups your sex in his palm, and a pathetic whimper escapes you. 

“Fuck…” 

“Yeah? You like that?” 

Shit, you can feel blood pumping in your ears and adrenaline coursing through your veins. The way you’re turned on right now is fucking unquantifiable. You haven’t felt this insane in a long time, and it only drives you to relish in Taehyung’s crafty touches more, hands hooking onto his shoulders for moral support. 

He continues rubbing you just like that, smearing your essence all over his hand as he attentively watches your every reaction, groans rolling off his tongue. You throw your head back against the window once Taehyung weaves two fingers through your soaked folds, gliding up your slit until he fondles your quivering clit. You let out a broken gasp, fingers digging into his sturdy shoulders as he begins a gentle sliding motion over your ocean of a pussy. 

“Fuck.. fucking shit, Tae..” 

You don’t even notice you’ve uttered a shortened form of his name, only recognizing the slip up when you feel Taehyung breathe a laugh against your swollen lips. 

“Shit.. I’m sorry-” 

“No, it’s okay.” He just as breathlessly replies, letting out little grunts every time you moan. “Just one thing,” he begins, leaving a wet trail of kisses down your throat until he finds your collarbones, slowly pecking away as his fingers work your pussy like magic. 

“I like hearing my name, but I want you to call me Sir.” 

Fuck, fuck. 

Of course, a man like Taehyung would have something as tremendously sexy as a Sir kink. 

The rumble of his deep voice against your throat leaves you mewling out, hugging his head into the crook of your sensitive neck. 

“Fuck yes, Sir.” Taehyung lets out a shaky groan that indicates the wave of arousal that washes over him, watching him pull back from you to wet his lips. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a moment to breathe, using this as your opportunity to observe the city lights casting a soft glow over him. 

His lips are just as swollen and wet as yours, his hair disheveled after having wildly tugged at it in the backseat of his car, a chauffeur having transported you two here. One of his top buttons had popped open when you desperately clawed at his shirt too. 

He’s sincerely the most stunning man you have ever known. 

You also witness the tight tent in his crotch area and are suddenly filled with a fierce sense of confidence. 

He currently leans against the window, head hung low as he exhales. But you obstruct his moment of meditation, latching a daring hand onto his belt. With a feline-like grin, you tug him towards you by the Calvin Klein belt, catching a look of surprise from Taehyung. 

“Oh fuck..” 

“May I, Sir? You deserve some attention too.” 

You whisper it so seductively, Taehyung releases a deep groan from the back of his throat, the asking of his permission spiking blood towards his dick. You undo his belt with your flawless, ruby nails, and Taehyung peeks down to watch you do so. He cocks a brow at the skill he sees, observing with a sexy smirk. You tear his belt open and loosen his pants, diving inside his boxers to feel at the beast he’s hiding inside, and dear God, are you in for a fucking treat. 

He’s big, and you didn’t expect anything less. 

Your surprise seems to capture his attention, feeling the breath of his laugh fan your cheek. 

“You’ve got a cute face when you react to things, sweetheart.” 

“Thank you, Sir. You’re just so...” 

“Big?” Taehyung laughs, and you join him with a chuckle before you traverse further, and find the thick, meaty shaft of his cock. Taehyung folds with a groan as his face dips into your neck, enjoying the delicious sounds of his weakness. 

You waste no time in freeing him from his dress pants, Taehyung helping you along and curling his hand around your much smaller one. You both begin pumping him together. 

“Fuck..” he curses against your neck, and you conjure up all the willpower possible to not gobble him up like a five-course meal this instant. You splay your fingers over the back of his neck, tugging him closer as your lips envelop his pulse point for tasteful, intimate neck-kissing. You move your hand over Taehyung’s divine length in accordance with his own, guiding you to utilize the speed he likes. It’s so goddamn sexy; you moan against his neck and pump him faster. 

He’s leaking incessant pre-cum, but the dryness of his cock leaves you devising other plans, removing your hand. Taehyung huffs as though he’s pulled out of a trance, and before he can ask, you drop to your knees, fingers hooking onto the band of his bottoms. 

His pupils nearly physically dilate, eyebrows raising with rampant impression. You shoot him a look from below, eyes dressed suggestively as you tug his garments further down, and wrap a hand around his cock. 

Giving him a few pumps, you jut your tongue out to lick a slow, long stripe up the underside of his shaft, meeting his tip to swivel around and catch a heady taste of his pre-cum. Taehyung groans beautifully, bouncing off the walls of his apartment as he throws his head back. 

“Fuckkk” he draws out, fingers weaving into your hair for leverage. You moan once his tip is in your mouth, kitten-licking his slit and watching his Adam’s apple bob, the column of his throat enough of a masterpiece to have been crafted by Greek Gods. 

He gently thrusts into your mouth once your lips envelop him, sinking down on his engorged, red-tipped member as you hollow your cheeks. He lets out a string of curses once you bury him deep, his tip smothered by the fleshy back of your throat, and he immediately keens. 

“Fucking hell, Y/N.. just like that.” 

You hum in satisfaction, which causes Taehyung’s blown out eyes to meet you beneath. You maintain eye contact as you draw yourself out, and slowly swallow his thick, veiny length once again. His reactions grow weaker every time, relishing in the power you hold and beginning to bob your head a bit, crafting a pace he seems to like, slobbering all over his erect cock. 

He moans, deep-throating once before popping off, a lewd string of saliva breaking. He seems headily into it, boosting your ego, but when you move to drag your tongue across his balls, Taehyung gives you a soft push back, rejecting you. 

You furrow your brows and look up at him, puzzled. But before you can ask anything, Taehyung helps you to your feet and crashes his lips against yours, the power strong enough to shove you back up against the window. You breathe in his kiss, swiveling your slipper tongues around each other before he breaks away, saliva prevalent all over your lips. 

“I need a taste, too.” He breathes against you, your mind losing circuitry the second his lips meet your throat. He presses electrifying, hot kisses down your neck, the valley of your breasts, your midriff and stomach until his knees fasten onto the ground. 

You meet his bewitchingly smug look below you as his fingers travel up the sides of your thighs, casting your skirt away from your pussy to reveal your soaked panties. Taehyung doesn’t waste his time in stuffing his nose against your dampened folds, catching a heady whiff of your essence and letting out a soft hum from the back of his throat. The rumble travels up your core and nestles into the pit of your stomach, knotting the coil inside you as you gush a waterfall.

His fingertips hook onto your panties and tug them off, revealing your nearly sodden pussy to a hungry Taehyung, who wets his lip. Without a single prompt, he locks eyes with you above, and slowly casts your thigh over his shoulder, drawing his face towards your sex and wrapping his lips around your cunt. 

The wet contact of his tongue sets you ablaze, skin flushed and hot as your nails scratch at his window, the most erotic of moans spilling from you. He groans the second he catches a taste of you, tongue slithering through your folds as he amply sucks on your labia. 

“Shit… you taste sweet as fuck.” His deep voice resonates through your heat, eyes watching him as he stuffs his sexy face between your legs. You sigh obscenely against his window, using it as your only leverage to stay upright as he makes you weak in the knees. 

His tongue feels Godly, driving your hips over his face to shamelessly ride, and he welcomes you with an indulgent moan. It’s as though he enjoys his mouth being stuffed full of pussy, and you can’t help but feed into his heavenly work. 

Your fingers slot through his locks, tugging at him as intense pleasure overwhelms your system, rolling your hips against his mouth until high-pitched, heightened moans leave your lips. It means you’re getting close, and something about the way the bridge of Taehyung’s nose presses and rubs against your clit works wonders for your building orgasm. 

It’s coming, you’re blanking, and he’s eating you so passionately and methodically, you knew this would be your undoing. Your eyes are squeezed shut, reciting a mantra of Taehyung’s name and the hot title of sir that only spurs him on, losing your mind. 

“Taehyung, Sir, fuck, fuck!” 

His large hands grope your ass as he practically makes out with your pussy, tongue weaving through and around your engorged clit, and just as you grip him with a warning of your coiling orgasm, Taehyung stops. 

Air is sucked out of your lungs, peering downwards to breathe erratically. 

“Tae, what the fuck-” But you’re met by his lips when he springs to his feet, tasting yourself on his glistening lips as he sloppily makes out with you. He then props you off the window and spins you around, roughly pinning your front against the cool glass as you gasp. 

“Tae..” 

“Did you just say my name?” 

Taehyung then rips open the zipper of your dress and loosens the top enough it’ll inevitably slide down and reveal your bare breasts to the goddamn world. Taehyung wraps an arm around you from behind and cradles your stomach, lips by your ear. 

“I thought I told you to call me Sir.” 

“Yes, I’m sorry, Sir.” You immediately apologize, the heat of Taehyung’s breath invoking innate submission. “I was… just surprised.” 

“Still okay against the window?” He asks. 

You bite your lip with a harsh nod, hot arousal heating up your skin. 

Taheyung then tears off the top, hiking up the skirt of your dress as he shoves his crotch against yours, hard cock heavy on your ass. His heated breaths fan your ear, Taehyung casting away the hair on your shoulder to access the sweet spot behind your lobe. He kisses tenderly and yet, wildly as he fists his wet cock behind you, lining himself up with your entrance. 

“Put it in, Sir, fuck.” You desperately request. 

“Condom?” 

“Just fucking pull out. I can’t wait.” You wave him off, breaths rampant and needy. 

“Mmm, guess doctorates don’t learn patience, huh?” 

“And bankers don’t learn haste, fuck me right now.” 

Taehyung scoffs, and you want to say something, but when he pushes the bulbous, leaking tip inside you, you both let out harmonious, pleasurable groans that leave your nipples hardening and his dick leaking even more pre-cum. 

“Shit… you’re fucking wet, and tight.” 

“Fuck, you’re big, Sir. So big.” 

Taehyung likes the sound of that because a low growl and his palm fully engulfing a breast later, he’s tugging your hips back to sink himself inside, voice dangerously husky against your neck. 

“Do you care about marks?” 

“No, not fucking at all.” 

And Taehyung dives for your neck like a starved vampire, sucking wet, plum-coloured hickies over your pulse point as he bottoms out inside, filling your pussy up with his throbbing, divinely girthy cock. You moan against the window, nipples perfectly rubbing against the smooth, pristine glass and relishing in the arousal it speckles throughout your nervous system. 

Taehyung leaves no room for playing around, and begins slowly thrusting his delicious cock inside your gushing sex, your slippery, welcoming walls smothering his cock with arrant, uncontrollable arousal. 

“Fuck.. oh fuck.” Your moan hitches in your throat as Taehyung rides the wave of desperation, of searing, hot passion as he sucks all over your neck. You’re sure he’s going to leave purple blossoms across your skin, but right now, all you can focus on is the way his hips smack against your ass, your hand grappling onto his head dipped into your neck, tugging at his locks as you sigh like a pornstar. 

His kisses feel enchanting, his dick magical, and the way he fondles your tit is otherworldly, causing you to become completely lost in the stars you see behind your eyes and the breath-taking cityscape before you. 

Carnality overrides your entire body, turning your head to instead request Taehyung’s lips for rough, harsh kissing. Your lips and teeth smash against each other then, absolutely in unison with his hips slapping against you, his hands encasing your torso as he gives it to you from behind like a champ. 

“Fuck, Sir.. Oh, fuck me.” 

“Yeah? You want it like that?” 

“Yes, Sir, oh God.” You grit through your teeth as he pulls back the flesh of your bottom lip, nothing but your breathy moans and groans heard in the sizable apartment. 

You reach even further back and begin tugging at the collar of his dress shirt, hating that he’s still wearing fucking clothes. 

“Take this off, take this fucking off.” You ramble, Taehyung paying heed to your request within seconds and letting go to peel back his shirt, casting it off before his fingers curl around the hem of your dress. 

“Lift up your arms, sweetheart.” 

You’re not sure if it’s him calling you sweetheart that makes you so docile and pliant, but you follow his instruction and Taehyung strips your dress off, soon throwing it onto the floor. You’re both naked now, Taehyung having removed his pants and boxers in exchange to feel the heat of your skin. 

The warmth of his broad, smooth chest presses against your back, and the new feeling of his body heat causes you to moan indulgently, hands curling against the window. But you don’t have time to think, because Taehyung draws his pulsing length out of your fluttering pussy to turn you around, facing him. 

He’s equally as flushed and heated as you are, the gentle city lights exposing the sweaty glow to his dewy skin. Taehyung reaches his hands down for the back of your thighs, and you know exactly what he wants before he even has to say it. 

You leap into his arms, hands weaving into the feathered hair on the nape of his neck. 

“Let’s get you on my bed, sweetheart.” 

Taaehyung leans forwards for kisses, and you meet him for shameless make out as he walks you two towards his grand bed. He doesn’t toss you onto the sheets as though you’re a ragdoll, not that you would mind something like that, but he instead sits himself down with you perched on his lap, disconnecting for air. 

You peer down at his cock to make sure he’s still hard, wrapping a hand around him for generous pumps. Taehyung wraps his hand around yours and helps you, both of you fisting him together as his hooded-eyes remain fixated on you, and your eyes glow with sheer desire as you hold his gaze. 

You spring up onto your knees and Taehyung pulls his bottom lip between his teeth with a smirk, lining his cock up with your entrance and whispering against your wet lips. 

“Ride me like you mean it, doctor.” 

You huff at the deliberate emphasis on your future title, scraping your nails down his unblemished chest. 

“If you can even make me cum, Mr. Banker.” 

Taehyung scoffs, and before anyone can further the argument, Taehyung guides your hips down over his cock, and he invades you for the second time tonight. This position feels eons better; your breasts pressed up against his warm, smooth chest, his cock stretching your pussy wide open. You moan loudly as Taehyung huskily grunts out, who is settled against the headboard of his bed as you grip onto his shoulders. 

He entirely spears you over his cock then, and the way he fills you up leaves him impeding on your fucking cervix, letting out a shaky moan. 

“Fuck, fuck..” 

“You okay?” He asks as a hand clutches your shoulder blade, maintaining his rugged breaths. 

“Yeah, just-give me a second.” You breathe through the ache of his intrusion. You can feel him everywhere in this intimate position. Still, the pain feels good, and not long after you peck a kiss on Taehyung’s lips, you nod to him. 

“Okay, okay.. you can move.” 

Taehyung listens immediately and soothes his hands over your hips, helping you lift them off his crotch until you smash back down over him, a broken sigh escaping you. 

“Shit..” Taehyung curses, fingertips gripping your body hard. 

You repeat the action, then again, then again and again until you’ve developed a deliciously fast, wild rhythm, Taehyung’s hands slipping over your supple ass to grope and smack to his desire as he fucks you over his cock. He even drives up from underneath, and it leaves you keening, trading his shoulders for the headboard as you clasp on for dear life. 

But Taehyung isn't fond of that, grabbing your wrists and weaving them around his neck, eyes wild when he says, “hold onto me, sweetheart.” 

You fold, biting back a pathetic moan as she returns to gripping your body in place, impaling you from underneath as you work tirelessly over his thick, elongated dick. You feel so full, so satisfyingly filled to the brim your walls are quaking to release the orgasm he denied earlier, whimpering pitifully. 

It’s sinful the way he not only grasps you but slams upwards into your cunt as he presses your hips down, stuffing even your stomach as you cry out against him. Your face falters into his neck, relentlessly irving all over his throbbing cock as the friction against his abdomen supplies you the right rub for your pulsing clit. 

Taehyung takes your sudden weakness to mean you’re tapping out, which you are because he’s entirely a beast compared to you. He’s moaning and groaning like a mad man, watching your tits bounce as you repeatedly plummet over his cock. 

“Fuck, so gorgeous when you bounce, sweetheart.” He praises with a heady groan when you stuff yourself completely, the confines of your pussy driving him insane. He bites back a string of curses as you sigh erotically, nails digging into his skin, but he doesn’t fucking a mind a single bit. 

Your groins and thighs are already burning as your moans heighten in pitch. Taehyung suddenly wraps his arms around to embrace you close, hand splayed in between your shoulder blades as he cradles you and unforgivingly drills into your sex from underneath. 

You gasp so loudly, his neighbours are certainly tired of hearing you. You scream and beg, losing your fucking mind as you feel your pussy walls spasming around him. 

“Fuck me, Shit, fuck me!” 

“Yeah? You want more? Say it!” 

“Sir, I need more, please!” 

You’re both animals now, holding yourself before Taehyung’s face as he rams into your leaking, slippery sex. Taehyung sneaks a hand over your visibly pulsing mound and supplies you the relief you so desperately need. You release a drawn out, heady moan as obscenely as possible when he does, relishing in the ridges and veins and shape of his delicious cock fucking you wildly as your orgasm approaches, filling up inside your gut. 

It coils, your toes curl and your eyes squeeze shut, and your body shakes, legs quaking as Taehyung concentrates on stimulating your clit. He’s hissing and grunting, containing his load almost painfully as he senses your body beginning to convulse. 

“Oh shit, you’re gonna cum, huh?” He breathes against you. “Cum for me, sweetheart. I wanna see it.” He finally, stuffs himself so deep inside you, the gates of your impending release burst mightily open. 

A whimpering moan erupts from you, and you squeeze Taehyung’s so infinitely tight he begins to panic. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Taehyung throatily grunts. “Where do you want it?” 

You’re still lost, in a post-orgasm daze as you gush gops of essence all over his violently throbbing dick. You’re only pulled off your cloud nine when Taehyung worryingly taps your breast and alarms you. 

“Y/N, I’m gonna cum any second,” he warns you, repeating urgently. “Where do you want it?” 

“In my mouth.. in my mouth.” You ramble, hopping off his dick and immediately assuming an all-fours position, sticking out your tongue and wrapping your hand around his pulsing shaft. 

Taehyung pushes himself into your mouth and tangles his fingers in your hair, sinking you down on his length. He begins fucking into your throat as heady, unabashed moans and groans leave him, hearing them mellifluously heighten as he nears his high. He rams into your hollowed mouth, fucking it open as he chases his euphoric high relentlessly until his load releases inside your throat. 

You moan as his hot seed floods you, tasting his cum for all its sweet glory. Taehyung actually loosens his hand on your head here instead of shoving you down over his length. It confuses you momentarily, but realize he’s presenting you the option of not swallowing if you don’t want to. That sweet sentiment alone drives you to, without hesitation, swallow his cum as plentiful as you can. 

Popping off his member with flustered cheeks and heavy breathing, you know your face is a hot mess, meeting Taehyung with hooded, tired eyes as he similarly comes down his high, leaning back on his palms. He wets his lips before cradling your chin in his palm, tipping his own to take a closer look at your mouth. 

“Fuck, open.. your mouth.” He breathes, his chest rising and falling as sweat sexily coats his skin. Your lips fall open and reveal an empty mouth, Taehyung adorning a proud side smirk that showcases his teeth. 

“Swallowed without hesitation.. you’re nasty.” He comments, and you shoot back just as smugly with a coquettish grin. 

“Eating me out and fucking me against a window? You’re kinky.” 

He laughs, and you soon join him, giggling together before collapsing face first against his thigh, and Taehyung’s hand lands over your bare back with a huff. 

Morning sunlight spilled radiantly into Taehyung’s apartment, welcomed by the bright light reflecting off his white furnishing as you awakened. Eyes fluttering open, you find your head nuzzled against Taehyung’s bare chest, his arm cushioning your body as he loosely clutches you, his face turned away as he sleeps. 

You grumble as you’re woken up by the abundance of annoying light, last night’s wild escapade probably too tiring for Taehyung to remember to shut his curtains. Said man also stirs underneath you as you prop off his chest and onto an elbow, watching him rub a heavy eyelid as they blink open. 

He turns towards you, and you both sleepily regard each other. 

“Fuck, I forgot to shut my curtains, didn’t I?” 

His deep, raspy morning voice shocks you, nodding with a sleepy pout, and Taehyung gently laughs as he reaches over towards his night table. He removes the arm underneath you and pries open the first draw, digging around until he pulls out a remote and presses something, to which his blinds begin to cover his windows. 

You raise your brows with light surprise, Taehyung returning the remote to plop back down in bed, tucking his hands underneath his head. You hate that it makes his bulky biceps appear meatier. 

He shuts his eyes again, desiring to indulge in more sleep, but you feel far too awake now. With a yawn, you entirely sit up, holding his duvet over your naked breasts. 

“Are you okay with me making breakfast?” You query, hoping that he is because you’re honestly famished. 

He speaks with his eyes closed, voice amused. “If you’re a good cook, then yes.” 

You snicker a little, shooting a narrow-eyed look his way. “I’m probably much better than you, investment banker.” 

His eyes flutter open to that, watching you with an entertained smirk. “I’ll have you know I make impeccable eggs, professor.” 

You roll your eyes. “Please, you’d probably never be able to make them sunny side down the way I like.” 

Taehyung suddenly springs up onto his elbows, shooting you a look of genuine surprise, eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, you like your eggs sunny side down too?” 

You pucker your lips with a confused chuckle. “Uhh, yeah I do.” 

“Sorry, I’ve just.. never met a single other person who likes them sunnyside down instead of up.” 

“What? Don’t tell me you also listen to some.. I don’t know.. Dean Martin or Sammy Davis Jr. when you’re cooking them too.” 

Now Taehyung entirely rises into a seated position, lips hung open with shock. “Holy fuck… you listen to Jazz too?” 

Now it’s your turn to widen your eyes with surprise, both of you replicating each other’s unbelieving looks. “No goddamn way, now if you tell me something like a movie you’ve been looking forward to seeing and it matches mine… we’ll have a situation on our hands.” 

“Okay, we’re gonna count backwards from three; tell me the movie’s name.” Taehyung instructs. 

“Okay.” You nod, both of you turning towards each other to focus. 

“3.. 2.. 1.. Billie Holiday.” Both of you immediately gasp, as though you just had the most shocking revelation of the 21st century. 

“No way, this isn’t possible. You have to be lying.” Taehyung becomes disbelieving of your similarities, laughing it off. 

“I’m not lying at all, Tae. I have no reason to.” 

“I don’t either.” 

You both take a moment to soak in the information, until you break out into an ironic laugh. “Fuck, Joon and Nabi were right. We really should date each other.” 

Taehyung cocks a brow with a pleased smirk, lazily leaning onto an elbow, and you admire him in his beautiful, shirtless glory. “I thought you said you don’t date investment bankers because you have terrible experiences with them?” 

“Eh, last night wasn’t a terrible experience.” You shrug, fluttering your eyelashes and similarly leaning on your elbow like him, mirroring his smile. “I can take a risk or two.” 

[helenazbmrskai]

Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke. [1/2]

Title [Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke.]

Pairing [Northen Duke! Yoongi x Reincarnated! Reader]

Genre [Fantasy Romance, Reincarnation, World in a novel AU, future smut and angst]

Summary [You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death at the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.]

Words [11,5k ; part 1 out of 2]

Warnings [mistreatment and negligence, period drama, slow burn, mention of blood and drugs, tiny sexual tension]

Rating [+18 overall but this part is a tame +14]

A/N: Guess who’s back again? ME. I’ve been working on this for a lot and I know I already have a similar story on going but I just couldn’t get over this idea in my head. So enjoy! And as always excuse me for the typos.

Masterlist // part 2 (end) // I don't do tag lists anymore I'm sorry!

Every story needs a good start, and this one starts now with an old tale, much older than you.

There’s an ancient fairytale that tells you about the funding of the Empire and it all starts when God left.

Tired of human foolishness and deeply rooted malice he left the world he created to turn around its axis and burn down on its own; famine started to scavenge the continent as war broke out in every corner of the human world. Each kingdom perished one by one until only one was left.

It seemed like humanity would be wiped out permanently in no time but then just when they all thought there was no turning back, a saintess appeared among the rest and divided the continent into four regions with the help of the received divine power. That’s the birth of the empire’s central city where the empress Hyeri ruled over the four divided territories.

To prevent war from breaking out again the saintess turned to the heavens and pleaded while crying out to their maker and hearing her prayers the God who left decided to give them one last chance at redemption seeing the pure heart in front of him.

That’s when the holy prophecy was made.

Each chosen duke was granted unique powers to rule over their territories. However great powers come with great responsibilities. In the end, there’s always a price to pay but that’s the tale of another story.

This is how peace finally settled over the world once more. In exchange for the powers, the dukes wrote a blood oath that prevented them from stealing each other’s powers or waging unnecessary war. However just like every pact it wasn’t perfect. Loopholes could be taken advantage of but momentarily peace was forged.

This is the short version of the founding tale of the originated Kingdom that was taught to the people of the empire throughout generations. You particularly remember these starting lines from the novel you read in your previous life. The introduction is something you often skip through but thankfully you didn’t do that with this one.

The four families who inherited great power were Kim, Jung, Min and Jeon. When you first read the story introduction you thought that it’s quite lame and generic to base the family's attributes on the four seasons. However, seeing one of the duke’s illustrations you decided to read it all.

When choosing a book to read you only pay attention to the hotties. In this case, it wasn’t any different either.

A mysterious and cold duke of the north is something that a girl cannot ignore to save her life.

Each duke possesses an artefact which comes in the form of a ring and different precious gemstones that fit into the depression are named after the four seasons using a dead language.

Nix - means snow, which makes the wearer the lord of winter. The most handsome guy throughout the entire book in your opinion. Next, Saltus - translates to forest which is the symbol of spring. Umbra is shade and Calor is heat. The last remaining ones are autumn and summer. Each duke is the epitome of beauty, and their descendants are no exception.

This is a fantasy romance novel you read before you died in a sudden hit and run accident.

The original story is about an orphan girl Hyo who is the lost daughter of the king. After she’s found – the plot starts as she meets the four archdukes at the annual imperial ball and falls in love with the lord of Spring. Kim Taehyung. A handsome man with good manners and unmatched beauty as he’s described in the book. She’s captured by one look of the male lead’s brown eyes and shiny blond curly hair. Despite their fairytale-like first meeting, their love is not exempt from hardships. Their first obstacle is the villainess Kim Y/N who falls in love with Taehyung at first sight at the same ball and sets her eyes on marrying him but in the end, she fails to murder Hyo and gets beheaded by the second male lead Min Yoongi as an imperial order.

Hyo and Taehyung then live happily ever after and the novel ‘Flowers bloom in the heart of the Lost Princess’ ends there.

You see, dying a second time is not an option even if the one you possessed is Y/N.

You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death by the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.

Even though there’s no chance you will fall in love with the Duke of Spring like in the original novel – things can still go wrong if you make changes in the natural flow of the story, so you need to think this through carefully. You need to think about the plot holes and that the characters you see can be different from what you read in the book as that only tells you one side of the story.

The first thing you need to change gradually is the way the servants and the Duke see you.

The first week when you reincarnated as Y/N you spent your days with a high fever bedridden, you’re not sure if the pain came from the strain of absorbing the real Y/N’s memories or if something else is behind it. Your health is very poor as your medical history suggested, but you get accustomed to the villainess' body step by step. After another week your probation ended so you were able to leave the estate freely again. There were days when sudden headaches interrupted your day and, in the morning, you often coughed up blood.

You ignored it at first because the symptoms seemed to get better with time, and you had no way of knowing if it was normal. You didn’t ask in case someone found it suspicious. The most important thing right now is that you need to focus on staying alive and avoiding your death at the end of this novel – this is what you thought without knowing anything at that time.

As the plot thickens when you least expect it.

It’s not just your weird health conditions your head hurts just from thinking about the actions of the real owner of this body.

You just can’t grasp why a beautiful woman like Y/N would do those cruel things when she has everything she could’ve asked for. She’s a rich girl born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and she gets crazy just because she can’t have a man. It feels unnatural. If someone asks you to choose between life and a man you would choose life without hesitation.

You can have another man but not another life. Er, well – in your case, you do get another one thought but that’s beside the point.

Even before that incident happened with the female lead, she had a terrible reputation among the nobles.

Well – you can’t do anything if you’re not well rested so you will just think about this a bit later. You can’t possibly pull another all-nighter to study how this novel works. You close your eyes to finally get some shut eye when some woman barges into your room without knocking forcefully parting your curtains to let the early rays of sunshine in. The sound of her voice makes you freeze. This uncomfortable feeling suddenly ripped through your body as if a pile of rocks were sitting on your chest not letting you breathe. While you gained some of Y/N’s memories there are still holes in those fragments that you’re unsure of. However, her feelings are so intense sometimes that your body reacts like clockwork.

What you feel after hearing her voice is sheer terror. Who is this woman that even a villainess like Y/N is even afraid of? You can’t open your eyes as if your body is doing it unconsciously, unmoving like a doll to protect itself. Someone is coming closer.

You feel a prick on your forearm and your eyes fly open due to the pain. Her name appears in your mind as soon as you see her face and some of Y/N’s memories flood your head regarding that nasty woman. She triggers something dark in your eyes to appear.

Your nanny, Biwon.

“Wake up. Are you planning to sleep till the afternoon?” Biwon lets out a fake troubled sigh and her eyes are full of arrogance when you meet them you freeze completely at the sight.

“I’m sorry nanny.” Your mouth moves on its own like a broken record. It feels like this is not the first time she wakes Y/N up with a prick of a needle and the apology comes to her like second nature. Y/N’s attitude shows all kinds of trauma of being abused. How is it that this was never mentioned in the novel? While not much was mentioned about how she grew up you would think this is a piece of important information to have.

“Wash your face the duke requested to have breakfast with you for some reason.” She left without giving you any kind of assistance like a maid should do. At last, the water in the basin is ice cold to the touch and murky it manages to wake you up completely from shock.

You’re not just imagining it. Biwon has complete power over Y/N even though she’s the lady of the house.

You knew that the other maids avoided Y/N because of her temperament but to think that she’s been through manipulation and abuse by someone so close to her. Because Biwon is the one who spent the most time next to Y/N ever since she was a child everyone buys her lies. No one pays attention to Y/N, not her father or her brother.

She has no one to rely on in this household.

Biwon deliberately made her isolated in her own home so she could control and exploit her. Her malicious plan is clear to you after observing the situation objectively. What else is there that was not mentioned in the novel? Things might be more complicated than you thought.

However, this is not the time to ponder over this. You need to get ready alone. It didn’t take you long to realise Biwon forbids the maids from helping you so you can embarrass yourself in front of your family. While the real Y/N would have problems with getting dressed and being presentable without help as she’s a noble – there’s one tiny fault in your nanny’s plan – that she has no idea that you’re a modern woman who can wear her own fucking dress and get ready all by herself. She has a lot of extravagant dresses, so you had a hard time choosing but then something caught your eye. This dress has been buried deep in your wardrobe, a solid light cream-coloured dress with an elegant bow in the front. This is the perfect dress.

You do light makeup to match the dress and leave your long hair down after brushing it. While you were getting dressed you saw the countless bruises on your skin and your right arm was full of holes from the needle your nanny used to stab you with to wake you up. It’s good that the dress is long-sleeved. There’s no way the maids don’t know about your abuse since they bathe you. So, your guess is they are either the nanny’s people or they just simply don’t care enough to tell the duke. It’s clear the duke doesn’t care about Y/N so it wouldn’t benefit them to tell him when they could face the wrath of your nanny if she finds out. They think he wouldn’t do anything about it, and you think so too.

You feel compassion for Y/N. She was made to be a villain even if it doesn’t excuse her actions in the end. It’s only been two weeks for you, but she had to endure this for a lifetime.

You’re determined to change her future even more now that you know the truth. You’re going to live for her as well.

Opening the door to your room you find a maid waiting for you to lead you to the dining room as per the duke’s request. She looks taken aback by your neat appearance but doesn’t say anything and just shows you the way.

She dares to walk ahead of you. Even if you want to give her a piece of your mind you hold yourself back, you can’t afford to create a ruckus and be sent back to probation. It’s not that you care about who walks in front of you it’s the meaning of this action that angers you.

You hold back by creating a fist the pain of your nails digging into your palms in half-moon shapes keeps your head clear and controls your bubbling rage. You’re going to show everyone how Y/N won’t bow down anymore. You’re not a doormat that everyone can just walk over.

You’re not going to let everyone disrespect you ever again but to achieve that you need to make a plan and be more patient.

First thing first you need to make the duke care about you to an extent so he will listen to you. Good thing that you know the novel. You might be able to use that information to get what you want. You’re not going to make him like you, you just need to be useful for him to look at you. You’re not sure he would be even capable of liking you in the first place – not that you would want that after he neglected Y/N like that. Talk about loving family, this is just another example of being blood-related sometimes does not matter.

It's not like he’s your real dad anyway.

The dining room is just as fancy as the rest of the mansion. By the time you arrive the duke and your brother are already seated and chatting. The duke is sitting at the head of the table and Seokjin is sitting on his right.

Your tableware is set away from them probably a scheme made by your nanny to keep you isolated.

She must be afraid of why the duke suddenly wanted to dine with you when he usually never bothers to see you. You can’t let this golden opportunity pass like that. You’re going to make the most of it.

“Good morning, Father, Brother. Sorry for being late.” You give them a little courtesy. You’re careful to get your posture nice and graceful like you read in the etiquette book. The nanny purposefully discouraged the young Y/N to skip classes and remain a dumb doll for her to exploit but you’re not going to let her continue to do that.

While your posture is not perfect this will at least show that you’re trying to be as polite as possible.

You stayed up all night for an entire week to study about this new world’s etiquette and history to play your part more convincingly who knew that your knowledge would come in handy in a situation like this? You’re thankful that you decided to study even before you realised the nanny’s schemes.

You school your features to remain passive as you look at the grand duke’s and your brother’s dumb expressive faces. It looks like they are seeing a ghost. Even though you’re annoyed to be bent like that you keep the position until you receive the acknowledgement like a lady should. How annoying that you must bow like that until you are recognised by a man.

“It’s alright. Sit down, Y/N.” The duke gives you a curt nod seemingly flustered that he stared at you for so long. You remind him of his late wife a lot dressed like that. To everyone’s biggest surprise, you take a seat directly on his left side facing your brother.

You remain silent in your seat knowing that the duke’s pride will take a hit if he doesn’t correct the mistake that he didn’t even notice until you sat down. Usually, they wouldn’t care if you sit far away, they would probably think that you were the one who wanted the seat away from them in the first place as a sign of defiance but they can’t deny that you’re the lady of the house so to assume you would sit far away is an arrogant mistake on the servants part.

“What are you waiting for give my daughter a set and bring the food.” Thankfully the duke is just like you expected. He looks annoyed at the servants. His authority is absolute so the maids scurry to bring you some new tableware and bring out the food. The lonely set is forgotten at the rear end of the table. This is the first time you see something so mouthwatering in a while since you were forced to eat in your room and the food, they brought you was not even close to this. Now that you think about it, it was probably some leftover from the kitchen. No wonder Y/N is this thin.

It probably wasn’t even part of her punishment so someone must be stealing the food that is made for Y/N.

It’s hard to control your expression or your body language that is burned into your body by nature. You’re feeling uncomfortable all over that you can’t enjoy the food at all. It’s sad to see how rigid you are in the presence of your supposed family members. You don’t have any appetite even though you feel like you’re starving.

“How are things with Gold Wing? Did you manage to get them to agree with our terms?”

The Gold Wing is under the jurisdiction of the House of Summer. The old man Jung Jeyhun is a greedy man who keeps delaying his son’s succession because he wants to keep his title as an archduke. He’s the hidden boss of this novel. Y/N can’t compare with an evil villain like him. There’s probably no one else who knows he’s backing that trading company. You’re an exception only because you read the novel and know everything about how he wants to be the sole ruler of the Empire. He’s behind many unfortunate events that happen in the novel that no one finds out about until it’s too late.

“No. They’re trying to sell their stones for double the price. Knowing that none of the other companies have that much supply since they bought the rights to the mines.” Your brother looks irritated as if he recalls the meeting with the head of the company vividly.

No wonder they are cocky, they have the backing of House Summer, and they cheated the other rival companies out of the right to produce this type of stone that’s particularly high priced in the first section of the book. This stone is called Stelar which is steel but it’s a novel, so they had to give it a fancy name. Swords here are mainly made from two important ingredients iron or steel, but steel has a longer durability and is easy to craft to different shapes, so they tend to use that instead of iron which is way cheaper because of this fact. The knights used swords made with Stelar but because of the high price, it was hard to come by after the Gold Wing trading company monopolized the rights.

Their goal is to weaken the other three houses’ military power by selling the stones at a high price and getting funds for their territory but it’s not the only reason. The swords they sell are not simply made of Stelar. Steel is an alloy of iron. Iron needs to be mixed with carbon to make steel. They use some steel and put more iron to degrade the quality of the sword which breaks more easily than it should. You remember learning of it in school in your previous life, but these people don’t know of it because the novel has plot holes here and there. Since the novel focuses on the main characters things that are not related to them too much have more freedom to change, and things may differ as the author cannot mention every little thing. This could be what you need to make changes.

The truth that they tempered with the swords that got imported only comes to light when Yoongi investigates the company when he almost loses the battle with the barbarians but that battle only happens when you reach nearly half of the novel. He could tell that there was a difference in quality when he saw the sword break too easily. He made an assumption just by that and the fact that the new sword became heavier due to the added mass of iron.

Even if you feel bad for taking credit for his discovery you need to use that information, he finds out later so you can survive in this household.

“May I speak up, father?” You heard enough to grasp the current situation. You need to speak up before you lose your courage.

“What can you even contribute to this conversation?” Your brother looks angry that he got interrupted. In your eyes he’s not scary he’s just a big child throwing a tantrum when things don’t go his way. You decide to calmly face him even if you have to hide your nervousness by clasping your hands together under the table for comfort. Still can’t control the original Y/N’s physical reactions.

“I don’t think I asked brother.”

The duke raises his hand to silence Jin before he can spit out angrier remarks. The moment you appeared and gracefully bowed wearing your mother’s dress the duke could tell that something about you just became different. The air around you is filled with determination.

He got reports of you acting unusually tame so he asked you to dine together and see it for himself.

Your eyes that only reflected the world around it suddenly became full of will to live.

He’s curious to hear what you have to say. Usually, you wouldn’t speak unless you were spoken to. “Do you perhaps have a good idea of how to deal with them?” He proposes fully giving you his attention.

“The problem is that we don’t have Stelar to make swords for the knights, right? I suggest we find a mine suitable to harvest the stones we need that way we don’t have to depend on the trading company.”

“Are you a fool? Do you think if we could produce it, we would continue to make this ridiculous deal work?” You’re getting tired of your brother always cutting in. You can’t get angry though. The first thing you need to change is how people see you and you can’t get angry because the people around you will call you a temperamental child even if your anger is justified. They wouldn’t care either way they just want to belittle you. You just need to not allow them to do so.

“We have a place like that in our territory that could be suitable. I can mark it on a map if you’d like.” Even though the duke might be suspicious of how you know of a place like that he will investigate either way. This deal is too good to pass up on.

In hopes of discovering a new mine, he will even accept the flimsy lie of you just discovered it by reading some book and looking at maps.

“Alright. I will instruct the knights to check it out. If what you said is true, I will reward you.” You nod your head pleased with the outcome of this uncomfortable breakfast.

In the novel the imperial prince comes across the mine in your territory when he’s running away from assassins and due to his discovery, he gets praised by the king for solving a big problem. However, if you find the mine first that puts you in a favourable position with the other houses and even the king if you give the stones at a lower price making the Gold Wing trading company lose its base customers by making better deals.

Thankfully that painful breakfast comes to an end soon as father’s aid whispers something into his ear. He leaves in a hurry which makes you think it’s about something important and work-related.

Your brother leaves without saying a word so you can finally enjoy your food alone.

Ever since you came to this place you’ve never been this full before, it puts you in a fairly good mood. You even managed to grab the duke’s attention and for once got something more filling than stale bread.

All you need to do is wait until the mine is discovered and now that one thing is out of the way you need to start with disciplining your maids and get your nanny kicked out. Biwon had a good life here up to this point because now that you’re here you will make it a living hell for her, and that’s a promise.

“What did you talk about with the duke?” You’re not surprised to find your nanny in your room when you get back. She looks anxious you can see how her nails are bitten and she slightly thumps her foot. You got back early so if you tell her some half-truths, she won’t suspect you that much.

“He didn’t talk to me at all. He only talked with my brother about work that I don’t understand. I don’t know why they keep ignoring me. You’re the only one who cares about me, nanny.” Good thing that the maids left after serving the meal, you would be in trouble if someone overheard you and you were caught lying. You bury your head in her apron to conceal your disgusted expression when she caresses your head.

You need to act like usual, so she won’t suspect a thing. If her guard is down, it will be easier for you to make your move.

You can easily produce some fake tears for the greater good.

“That’s right, only I care about you. Who else would love a useless child like you.” You bite your tongue to hold back when Biwon hugs you. You agree with her even if you want to break her arms that hugs you like a shameless person.

Biwon doesn’t use needles on you again to erase her marks since you started to dine with the duke. Thankfully she doesn’t realise what you’re planning.

The mine you talked about last time turned out to be true and the duke was very happy to get back at the Gold Wing trading company. He started to make a profit thanks to you, and he even listened to your suggestion of lowering the price to sell it to the other houses. Developing the mining ground consumes a lot of money at the moment but the profit will be greater than ever if it’s finished. You asked to have dinner with them every day as a reward which made him look surprised. He reluctantly agreed when you asked to make your contribution a secret for now you can’t let your nanny hear about it just yet. The duke probably thought he would buy you some clothes and accessories and you will be all set. Unfortunately for them, you don’t care about luxuries especially if it comes from them.

While you would prefer to not eat with them you need to show the staff that you’re indeed the lady of the house. Now they are giving you the bare minimum of respect after the maid got scolded by your father after the tableware incident.

You didn’t think Jin would come after you excused yourself from the meal. Right when you leave the dining room your brother appears halting you in your step and grabbing your hand forcefully to stop you in your tracks.

“Where are you going in a hurry so dressed up?” Your wrist throbs in his hold. That bastard how could he grab the hand of his sister so hard? Compared to him your body is so small you look like a child next to him. You’re not surprised since you were malnourished before. You’re sure it will bruise badly but you refuse to show him that he’s hurting you.

“I believe it’s none of my brother’s business where I go in my free time.” You look into his eyes with confidence. Y/N was always longing for her brother’s love but you’re not the real Y/N and you will never consider him your brother, so his attitude doesn’t bother you at all emotionally. He simply became a person you’re forced to live with and tolerate for now.

If everything is over you will cut ties with them for good.

“You’ve been acting weird ever since your probation. If this is your way of seeking attention from father or I, that will never happen no matter what you’re scheming.”

Using the moment of his surprise you get out of his hold and get farther away from him. Your smile says it all. ‘I don’t consider you a brother so go to hell’. You’re getting angry but you refuse to show him any reaction even if you can’t exactly control the fire in your eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid of that. I don’t consider people who neglect and belittle me my family at all. I don’t need your love or attention anymore.” You show him your back confidently as you walk away from his frozen form.

“Gaon prepare some indigestion medicine for me. Is the carriage ready?” Jin catches your voice talking to your maid still frozen on the spot you left him.

Your eyes looked different. When you were young you used to beg for his affection always clinging to him but now. Why does it look like you despise him and why does it bother him?

He never felt anything for you for a very long time.

“Yes, my lady everything is like you instructed.” You nod satisfied by the way things progress.

Now there’s only one thing left to do.

You’re on your way to meet with the head of the blacks information guild. The only one who could top the Gold Wing trading company by power would be them. The blacks is one of the largest information-selling guilds – trading only to deceive people and hide the fact that they know everything that can be known throughout the empire.

They have men everywhere. The head is conveniently the second young master of house Autumn who currently stays in House Summer territory. Jeon Jungkook is clever enough to know that information is the most important thing to have the upper hand this is how he was able to survive the battle for succession.

It will be probably dangerous to meet him but you will have to take this gamble on if you want things to work out you need the backing of the most powerful guild in the empire.

Convenient that the duke doesn’t care about Y/N’s safety so you don’t need to play hide and seek with the guards you can do your business without getting interrupted. If you say you don’t need an escort, they back off immediately and let you leave.

Following the novel’s description, you look for a house with a red chimney and a black door away from the main streets. Once you find it you have to knock two then three times until someone asks, “Are you lost?” and you have to reply with “Yes can you tell me where can I find black paint?” - and you’re in.

It’s only a select few that know about this code so Jungkook will be suspicious of how a lady with a bad reputation knows about it, but you came to make a deal that he can’t refuse. You can talk around the fact of how you know about their secret entrance.

As you expected Jungkook came himself to greet you, you could recognise that brown hair and emerald eyes anywhere.

“Please have a seat. I prepared some tea.” His smile is pleasant but calculating. His intentions are clear unlike when you talk to your blood relatives, so you’re surprisingly relaxed in his presence. Jungkook is intrigued by your body language. Usually, people are distrustful of him because of his mask. Your eyes tell him that you know more than you look.

“I have a request to make. I would like to know what this liquid is and any information that you can get on it or the bottle.” Jungkook is said to like straightforward people, so you try to be confident.

Jungkook laughs seeing your confidence. You exceed his expectations he heard that you’re stupid and extravagant with a bad temper, but it seems like his information is outdated. That needs to change he smirks.

He gives you credit for realising he wields information. Usually, people come to his guild to do business. Not many know that the purpose of the blacks is different.

“How much will you pay me for the information?”

“I heard I can pay with information for information. I have something important to tell you anyway.”

“Oh.” People rarely have any information that he doesn’t already know but you look so confident that he has to humour you. “Please enlighten me.” Taking a relaxed laid-back pose he awaits your answer.

“The head of the Gold Wing trading company is the current Duke of House Summer and he has a spy in your guild.” The only reason the blacks are not at the top is because of the upper hand they gain from the spy. No one would suspect that Jungkook’s right-hand man is a spy. He causes the guild’s destruction near the end of the novel. Heartbroken from the betrayal Jungkook is stabbed by him in the end.

Jungkook grips the side of the sofa after hearing your daring words until the wood slightly splits. He doesn’t usually trust people so to think that someone betrayed him feels impossible.

“I’m not saying that without evidence. There’s a tree in the back looking directly at the alleyway if you dig the dirt near the roots, you will find a letter with a coded message it was placed there this afternoon so you have to look for it before sunrise. I swear on my life that if I lie to you, you have the right to kill me.” The only way he will believe you is if you match the sacrifice for your accusation. Your life is on the line, but you know you’re right.

Or that you hope it’s the same as in the novel.

Jungkook instructs one of his men to look for the tree. He visibly pales when he sees the man come back with a dirty envelope. He reads the letter with a face of indifference, but you know he is furious deep inside and somewhat sad. Trust is not easily given away by him.

“Who— ” Jungkook closes his eyes to compose himself. “Who is the spy?” He appears distraught which is normal considering the fact you just dumped on him suddenly.

You hesitate for a moment. You know this information will hurt him, but he is entitled to the truth – and you do this to save his life in the end. “It’s Sam.”

You can tell it hit him hard but you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He might get angry and it’s really not your place to intervene. However, you know this feeling very well. Being betrayed by someone you trusted. If nothing else you can sympathise with that feeling.

“Please excuse my rudeness.” You tell before you impulsively side-hug him. He’s so surprised by your embrace that he doesn’t try to push you away immediately. You’re so warm and your hand is comforting on his back. He doesn’t know you, but it feels like you understand him to some extent.

He closes his eyes and lets this moment pass by. Hidden from prying eyes it’s just – you and him for this moment.

At last, he composes himself and accepts your request. He even gives you a pendant that’s only given to the highest-ranking customers saying that your information is worth that much.

It’s a pretty pendant with a black snake on it. Looks like a masterpiece.

Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened while you were out. You were able to enjoy some snacks when you got back in peace as your nanny was on vacation.

You need to make your move while Biwon is away your plan needs to be done by the time she gets back. Thanks to the blacks information guild – you were able to identify the liquid your nanny made you drink every day — you only had to wait two days to hear from them.

Your discovery is enraging and liberating at the same time.

It helped you put the pieces together and even gave you an advantage to work with. To finally know the full truth of what happened to Kim Y/N. This could be a good explanation for why you couldn’t access all her memories or why some things become hazy the longer you thought about it.

Life was way too cruel for a girl like Y/N.

Now that you’ve set up the stage you just need to wait for the protagonists to arrive.

Biwon seems relaxed after her vacation; she probably enjoyed a luxurious life out of the jewellery she stole from you. You’re getting sick just from seeing her smile. It must have felt good to be able to look down on a noble lady and make Y/N cater to her all this time, exploiting a poor young lady. To think that all those rumours come from her to isolate and degrade her. She should smile while she can you think smirking through the rim of your cup.

Now’s showtime.

The taste of tea is familiar in your mouth. Due to double the dose of the liquid she made you drink each morning the symptoms came earlier than you anticipated. Suddenly getting on the drug after you stopped taking it is a huge risk, but you need to prove her involvement in the crime.

You didn’t think it would hurt this much though. Your head clouded over soon, and your body collapsed on the floor in tremor.

Gaon called the doctor immediately as you instructed and while you were getting examined your other trusted maid planted the evidence in your nanny’s room. It didn’t take long to see Biwon try to escape your trap, but it was too late when the knights found the medicine bottle.

She had nowhere to run to.

You regained consciousness but it was hard for you to open your eyes yet. The pain you felt in your abdomen felt unbearable, but you need to see this through till the end.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. To tell the truth, the lady came to me often to ask for headache medicine.” You could feel the worry in the doctor’s voice. You feel bad for suspecting him at first. He might be the only one to actually care for Y/N in this forsaken house.

“This drug is called blackroot it’s made from a rare flower that was used in a war experiment in the past. The characteristic of the flower is that it can manipulate the mind – it makes the user unable to control their temper and creates hazy thoughts. While it works as a brainwashing technique it has all kinds of side effects such as explosive temper, haziness, headaches, loss of appetite and memory loss. The longer someone takes it the more fragile that person will become.”

No wonder Y/N is this thin. When you first heard about this drug you felt incredibly furious to make her take such a dangerous drug just because Biwon was greedy for things she couldn’t have.

Once the dizziness subsided you were able to open your eyes it seemed like the medicine the doctor gave you had some effect. The pain is still there but your head is clearer.

“I- didn’t do this! I was framed!” Biwon begs on her knees in front of the duke and young master but seeing their reactions no one actually buys that half-hearted accusation. Serves her right.

You made sure to get solid evidence of her crime.

You’re able to sit up thanks to Gaon’s help and you look down upon your nanny with a hard expression.

You cannot believe this is finally over.

Now no one will dare to take advantage of you after this incident comes to light. It won’t make your reputation restored to how it was before but at least it will provide you with a good opportunity to show the people around you that you’re different without having to fear someone figuring out you’re not the real Y/N.

“Have the witnesses come forward.” The maid who is questioned is shaking like a leaf in front of the duke.

“Who served Y/N tea?” Jin comes forward to interrogate the maids. For some reason, he looks livid. It’s probably because of their pride. How dare they manipulate the duke’s daughter a mere maid. – they probably think like that.

“The nanny always prepares the tea for the lady in the morning. No one was allowed to touch it I swear I didn’t know that the lady’s tea had blackroot in it.”

“That’s right, we were never allowed to serve her tea or be present when she made it we would be only called when the lady was about to get dressed.” If they were present at all you think for yourself as you roll your eyes.

“N- No! That…” Biwon looks around like a cornered animal. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. No, you promised the real Y/N that you would not let her go so easily.

“I’ve heard enough. Drag her to the underground dungeon.” After hearing the duke’s command, the knights drag Biwon out of the room. Finally, some quiet. Your head is killing you.

“Everyone leave, now. My daughter needs to rest.” As if seeing it on you that you’re nearly at your limits the grand duke instructs everyone to let you be.

Everyone leaves except for one person. Jin looks torn as he contemplates what to say to his sister.

You know the reason why Jin treated Y/N with contempt is because of that incident in the past. Y/N mad because of withdrawal symptoms from the drug called him a monster. She told him that because of him their mother died, and she even threw a teacup in his face that made him bleed. In reality, she partially blamed him for being forgotten and emotionally abused. After that Jin ignored her altogether. While saying those things are hash and not justified because of the drugs the behaviour of her brother is not something that you can overlook either. There’s no clear line to determine what’s right or wrong. You can’t simply judge if someone deserves forgiveness as it entirely depends on the person who’s granting it.

There are no right or wrong answers.

Their relationship was probably a bad fate. You’re not his sister so you have no intention of making up with him even though he’s wearing that pitiful expression. You feel bad for Y/N but you’re not going to live as her shadow forever. Once this story ends you will leave this kingdom and live as yourself. To make that happen you need to keep your relationship with Y/N’s family distant just like before so you could leave without problems in the future.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N has memories of when her brother spoke to her softly like this. Too bad it’s too late for Y/N to see this. You pull your hand away when he tries to hold it.

“This doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I would appreciate it if you could ignore me like before.” You turn away not inclined to see that pitiful expression on his face anymore.

Thankfully he leaves without a fuss this time.

Things are only growing more awkward as time passes. You made the suggestion of dining with them every day to avoid being punished by Biwon, but it comes back to bite you in the ass now that she’s gone, and no one dares to bother you anymore. You ignore the looks of pity you receive from the staff. They were the ones who ignored and badmouthed you. They have no right to take pity on you at all.

Those who did not try to see the truth don’t deserve to feel regretful.

It's annoying to see the duke and your brother try to get closer to you. They have no idea what Y/N had to go through while they were living in their blissful ignorance.

You wonder if things would have been different if she had been born as a boy in this period. Women are often ill-fated. How tragic.

“Your birthday is coming up in a few months. Do you have something in mind about how you want the celebration banquette?” Your fork freezes in the air when the duke calls you.

While you don’t want a party it would be good to build your reputation. You have no choice but to have one.

“I’ll prepare for it. Thank you for your concern.” You keep your eyes on the food. After taking that double dose your appetite seems to be worse than before. You need to gain some weight, you’re too thin as it is.

“Don’t worry about the budget just prepare how you like.” You’re getting dizzy this is getting bad you overestimated and thought some rest was all you needed. You need to take better care of yourself if you want to beat the final boss of the story. This is about time you meet with your favourite character as well. You need to look your best even if he only glances at you for a second. You’re getting excited just thinking about him.

“Alright. Excuse me I’m full.” You step away from the table to leave and prepare for the upcoming events when you lose your sight for a moment. Thankfully the head butler catches you in time that you’re not faceplanting the floor this moment.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” You push the old man away with reddened ears. This is so embarrassing.

“I’ll carry you to your room.” Your hand automatically holds onto your brother when he suddenly picks you up, to keep your balance. Now you’re really getting tired of their sudden act of affection.

“I said. I’m fine.” You pursue your lips in a frown when he keeps ignoring you to let you down.

“You can hate me all you want. I deserve it but I’m not letting you down.” You’re speechless. At least he knows. It doesn’t matter if he has regrets now that you solved everything.

If it weren’t for your effort and sacrifice things would have been left alone and you would be still suffering without anyone to rely on at the hands of your greedy nanny.

They can feel guilty all they want; it doesn’t change a thing. If anything, you’re feeling angrier about how they think they have the right to make things right after everything that has happened.

It’s bothersome.

“It won’t change anything. No matter how hard you try I’ll never consider you as family again. Not after you and father abandoned me. You don’t know anything about me or how much I suffered. If you didn’t care then don’t care now.” It’s probably hard to hear and somewhat you feel guilty for saying that since you don’t know what Y/N would have wanted but this is how you feel.

You’re torn about what you should do.

This is supposed to be your home when you feel the safest.

However, you can’t remember a single good memory or a time when you felt relaxed in this place. It just makes you sad.

“I understand.” His hand around you tightens just a tiny bit before he relaxes his posture and the hands that hold you gently. At least he’s not trying to come up with excuses. He knows fully well that what you told him was the truth. They have no idea how much you had to suffer since they kept ignoring you. His heart is getting heavy when he realises how light his sister feels in his arms. A woman in her twenties should weight a lot more than this. He’s carrying you with care and gently places you on top of your bed. You have no intention of getting closer to him, but it’s been bothering you for a while ever since you saw that memory. You feel like they don’t deserve your kindness. You wonder if Y/N would be forgiving. If she would be able to embrace them and trust them again. You know you can’t.

“You’re not a monster and I’m sorry for saying that so stop thinking about useless things.” You impulsively grab his hand before he can leave. This is all you can give him as an apology – you know Y/N probably would have wanted him to hear that at least. Something wavers in his eyes. You didn’t think such a small gesture would make him cry. Now that you think about it probably no one said such words to him before. His biggest fear. From an early age, he always heard that his mother died because of him. It shouldn’t be a small child’s fault. It makes you feel like this whole family is just unfortunate.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Jin holds your hand with shaking fingers. You can clearly feel his tears fall as he pushes his face into your palm seeking some comfort. You don’t know how but you can feel that this apology is sincere. You don’t have the heart to push him away this time.

Just this once you will allow it.

“The captain of the imperial guards shouldn’t cry like this.” You pat his head while he cries. Seeing such a powerful figure crying into your skirt on his knees feels weird.

He hadn’t left for a while and even when he did, he looked reluctant. You could tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it. He’s afraid that the next time you see him you will push him away and avoid him. Your hand on his head and your words comforted him. He’s the one who did wrong but, in the end, you helped him instead deal with his biggest fear a little better.

He realises that he doesn’t deserve such a good sister as you.

His sudden resolve and earnest eyes make you bite your lips in worry. You know it won’t be good when he suddenly turns around with fiery passion. “I, Kim Seokjin give my oath to Kim Y/N that I will protect you for as long as I live. If I break my promise, I’m willing to die a miserable death.” This is your first time seeing someone give their knight’s oath. His hands are elegantly placed over his heart in a kneeling position and his eyes are fierce and honest. Stupid brother, you’re not the one he should give his oath to!

That was not your intention to make him so motivated. You should really learn how to ignore things in the future if you want to avoid bothersome situations like this. It’s not like you can reject him now either.

After he finally left because of work called you collapsed on your bed.

You can’t believe he gives you the knight’s oath instead of the female lead. He’s supposed to fall in love with her and be the miserable second male lead. You expect that things will be different if you change your destiny, but such drastic changes make you anxious for the future development of the plot.

Thankfully your favourite character was not caught up in the love triangle since his territory is the farthest away from the capital. He doesn’t frequent gatherings because of his inability to fully control his powers, and he has a bad reputation overall because of his war achievements and fearful power. Throughout the novel, he is described as someone who doesn’t care about women and is only fixed to find a way to control his abilities.

Min Yoongi you can’t wait to see him at the upcoming hunting festival.

Everything becomes normal and quiet.

Your daily life is better except for the torturous dinners with your family. Thankfully Jin is busy with imperial work and your father manages his new business and duties as a duke, so you don’t have to run into them too much inside the house.

In two or three days you make a trip to see Jungkook and get useful information and sometimes chat over some tea.

What’s next on your list is to gather personal intel on people who will attend the hunting festival. The fact that this is organised by the Duke of Summer is making you anxious. You remember some crazy shit happen around that time and his main target will be your favourite character. Min Yoongi.

Trying not to look too obsessed with a man you’ve never met before you decided to look over his information last.

There’s not much that could be gathered on him (even by a professional information broker as the North keeps their gates locked skin-tight) in the first place the info that your eyes skim through is less than you expected even with the additional stuff that you know because of the novel is limited mostly to his childhood and main events which is not much at all.

He wasn’t present in all the episodes but when he’s involved – well, things were never good.

You don’t know all the archduke’s special abilities which is a concern. You know Min Yoongi can read minds. The limitation to his power is that he has to touch the person to hear all the thoughts but with malicious intent, it doesn’t even need that.

It makes him the second most powerful ability user since he can detect lies and see one’s true self. Someone has to be well aware of his ability to hide something from him.

His special skill is to tell what the other person is thinking good or bad but that means that he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The world is never silent for his ears and that has its consequences. What little is known of them in the outside world is that all the Min descendants had gone mad at some point in their lives and chose to kill themselves when there was another person that could take over the Ducey or their son became of age if they were lucky to hold on until then. Min Yoongi’s tragic childhood is summarised in a few sad lines in the novel it was not overly detailed, but you remember feeling sad.

Whilst your survival is the priority you want to change Yoongi’s fate as well if it’s possible. Even if he’s not going to madly fall in love with you. You want him to have a happy life and not end as tragically as in the novel. You liked his character a lot. Even when he was faced with such hardships, he never gave up he would never succumb to the same fate as his father, and he held on until the last moment of his life.

You admired his determination to live.

You want to do the same with your second chance and hold on until the last moment trying to change your fate.

Who knows maybe you could overcome it together.

So many scenarios run through your head imagining how you will greet him when you finally meet him, what you will say to him. All of those restless nights couldn’t have been wrong when you’re finally faced with him. None of them could get you ready for that hard cold stare that he shows you.

You practically burst open the carriage door after the chaperone states that you’ve arrived.

Being in the same space as your brother and father acting all cute and considerate for almost four full hours made you want to let the ground swallow you whole and never want to see the sun again.

This is when you first make eye contact with him – or so you think. His eyes visibly slip over your face as if he’s not even seeing you just looking through you like you’re one tree of the dozens curving the landscape. It hurts your pride a lot to be invisible to your favourite character, but you gulp it down and hold your head high when you exit the carriage.

You knew it well that he was that type of person, but it didn’t mean it still did not hurt you to see it with your own eyes. There’s one thing to say he’s not interested in women but in reality, it felt like he’s not into humans – not just women. Hearing everyone’s thoughts might be a reason why he would be so over humans that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge them but damn.

Now that you see him and not just read about him you can tell two things already. One, he’s crazy handsome. The lines that describe how good-looking he is does not give him justice. Two, the lines in the novel are too tame to describe how much he loathes to see and interact with anyone. It’s almost comical how disgust is written all over his face when he has to shake hands with nobles or greet the young ladies.

That face still has many admirers even when his expression is a permanent frown all the time. Most likely to his greatest disapproval, he’s very popular with the ladies despite his bad reputation.

You can imagine how annoying it must be for him. Forgetting how you felt hurt before you even started to feel bad for him. His circumstances are unique and, in fact, no one knows what he has to deal with every single day. Even though you know you don’t really know what it feels like.

You’re contemplating how to approach him to not get immediately shut down or seem too suspicious when some of the ladies have you locked in a circle. Seeing their arrogant expressions, you could already tell what would happen when they finally opened their mouths.

“What a surprise to see you attend this year. Are you even allowed to be outside yet?”

You grit your teeth and smile at them.

It’s a waste to argue with them and you’re not here to let them bully you. You came here to see your favourite character and they are already dampening your mood.

“The ladies might need to check their eyesight soon. I arrived here with my brother and father so if you have complaints about me being here you could always go to them.” You speak with a permanent smile but there’s nothing friendly in your expression as you cross them leaving the circle of hyenas behind you.

They’re lesser nobles of course they wouldn’t dare complain to them. Your family is powerful after all one of the four most powerful people in the kingdom is your father. They targeted you specifically because you were an easy target so far too dumb to attack them with words like they do, and Y/N's violent temper just served the right purpose to belittle her and make her the most hated woman in high society. You’re not going to give them the chance to humiliate you anymore. They are just extras in a novel.

The thought alone makes you smile. Right. You’re the main villain in this novel but you’re going to turn it into your story so that you can be the main character in your life.

Something that you always wanted to try.

The first day goes by without incident. After the second day of the hunting festival starts the hunting begins and activities for both the ladies and men begin slowly but surely following the original plot of the novel.

Until there’s a big error occurring in the middle. You don’t remember any banquet happening to welcome the most influential families. This could mean that it wasn’t relevant to the main plot to mention, or things changed somehow and now there’s a sudden dinner plan made by someone.

There’s a banquet held for the four archdukes and their families and while you’re thrilled that you’re seated right across from your favourite character you were not expecting him to death glare you right in front of your salad.   

To your best knowledge you haven’t even greeted him yet so why does he look like he wants to murder your entire family? You’re unsure.

At some point, you stop avoiding him and look him in the eye but still, you can’t read his expression at all.  

You feel like you don’t have to emphasise that you couldn’t eat a single thing at that dinner in peace.

You jump when a man approaches you in the empty hallway and when you look at him something clicks in your mind, now that you think about it you can recognise this man from anywhere. He’s Namjoon his right-hand man the only person that he tolerates.

“You scared the living shit out of me.” You’re so surprised that you don’t check your language before it’s already out in the open. Your eyes are wide as you look at the man probably thinking that you’re a weird person. Shit. Now you’ve done it. You tried so hard until now to remain in character and not use slang words or bad language.

Which is hard on their own as you breathe and live with words that end in fuck most likely than not.

The struggles of a modern woman. Haah.

“I mean you should not hide in the shadows like an assassin ready to strike Mr. You scared me.” You try to put the blame on him entirely so he would forget your previous words and it seems to work as he’s quick to apologise and state his business.

“Duke Min would like to speak with you. If you could please follow me, I will lead you to him.” You narrow your eyes after Namjoon finishes his sentence. Him wanting to see you is very weird.

Why?

“Does this have to do with him glaring at me throughout dinner?” You take a step back narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the man. Even though he’s just the messenger you can’t help but ask. You and him being alone after you witnessed his personality might not be the best idea even if he’s still your favourite character. You don’t want to die by his hands either.

“He.. the duke has a difficult personality but he’s not a bad person. I’m sure he’s just interested in the lady.” You can tell that Namjoon really believes that but for some reason you can’t picture him being interested in you. Y/N might be pretty but the duke is not that kind of person to be captivated by something so shallow as that. That has to be a different reason why he wants to talk with you in private and while you’re anxious.

You decide its best to see what he wants.

Also, he’s not someone that anyone can just say no to. He will most likely force you to meet him. It might be your best option to get this over with and see where this conversation goes. If it even goes anywhere. He’s a practical person like that.

You’re anxious and excited at the same time as you follow Namjoon just a step behind.

“Who are you?” You’re perplexed to meet with this type of question. He cornered you without warning, both his hands were caging your hip, your backside digging into the edge of the table.

You’re scared and strangely excited to be this close. Your heart is beating heavily trying to break out from your ribcage.

“Kim Y/N.” You reply dumbly while still trying to process this sudden change in his behaviour and his closeness to you.

You were greeting him first and suddenly you’re completely caged in.

“Kim? Is Duke Kim your father?” You would find his furrowing brows adorable if you weren’t so close to witnessing it. His scent is overpowering your senses, and your faces are just a hair's breadth away from touching – your favourite character makes it hard for you to think straight. Air is caught in your lungs when he holds you by your chin tilting your head up to meet with his eyes.

“Y-Yes.” You’re unsure what he wants to hear from you. From the moment you stepped into his office, he kept questioning you without answering any of yours in return.

“Am I interrupting something?” Both of your gazes turn to face a surprised Kim Namjoon standing by the door. He looks exactly like he just got here and witnessed something weird happening. You can’t blame him for it, you’re surprised as well. Min Yoongi keeps acting weird. He looks somewhat bewitched as he keeps looking between you and Namjoon almost bordering to look crazy in your eyes for a moment.

As if he’s in a deep thought about something mind breaking discovery.

Yoongi didn’t hear his right hand man coming at all but what’s even weirder than that is he can’t hear his thoughts at all.

It all started when he tried to read this woman’s mind throughout the dinner celebration but failed while everyone’s else mind spoke to him clearly. He found it strange for her to be the only exception. As if she has a shield around her mind that doesn’t allow his power to penetrate. The Kim family’s power is to neutralize other powers (everyone is aware of it as the family never tried to hide it) but that can’t be the answer since he could hear their thoughts all the same as you have to be aware of the power you’re trying to block but no one knows that he can read minds.

But now upon making contact with her, he can’t even hear what others are thinking. Which could mean her power is even more rare compared to her family. Everything is quite like it was never before. It’s unsettling but on the other hand, it’s quiet and peaceful.

A realisation draws on him that Kim Y/N might be the key to finally learning to control this power of his that has been plaguing his generation of heirs and forcing them to live a miserable life until they either take their lives or become insane. Her power acts like a tranquillizer almost. Tasting this peaceful silence Yoongi’s hand curves around her waist more protectively. Protective of this silence he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.

He will do anything to keep this woman by his side from now on. He comes to a firm resolution on the spot.

“Be my wife.” To say you feel shocked after hearing that would be an understatement. This is not your usual love confession, and you know it. There’s nothing tender in his words or expression if anything it feels like a business transaction to you.

It’s clear he’s proposing an arranged marriage kind of deal where you both get something out of it but you’re not fond of the idea. In your previous life, you never had a real boyfriend whilst you dated here and there. Someone you could say is the love of your life you never once experienced that feeling, and you don’t want a marriage in your second life without love. You decided to do anything you wanted from now on.

“I’m sorry but I have to refuse your proposal. I won’t marry a man I know is not in love with me and I don’t love him either. This is not something I want.” Too shocked to reply you use that time to get out of his hold and get away before he regains his senses after getting rejected. He probably didn’t think anyone would dare to say no to him as he was aware to be popular with the ladies. This just makes you even more unique as it was anyone else, they would have said yes immediately to an offer like that. Namjoon gets out of your way as you leave, his mouth hanging open still trying to process that the man who notoriously hates women suddenly asked for a lady’s hand in marriage and getting brutally rejected by one at the same time.

The door shuts behind you abruptly and Yoongi massages his temple with his hands trying to figure out what he did wrong for you to storm out like that. Was his proposal not to your liking? What does it even mean to marry the person you love is beyond his comprehension.

[crimsonbangtan]

FROST IMPRESSIONS by @fortunexkookie

“I heard you like creampies, and I wanted to give you one,” Jeongguk says, face flushing with color as he says it. His tongue darts out across his lips and his Adam’s apple bobs with force as he swallows hard. “I wanted to, but I came too early because I wanted to frost you for those.”

⚠︎ Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this masterlist are fictionalized portrayals and are not intended to be accurate representations of the real-life individuals. Their names and likenesses are used for artistic purposes only.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘THIS IS A NSFW BLOG MDNI⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

THIS FIC THIS FUCKING FIC, I read it last year and then I remembered and wanted to read it again to review it but I didn't remember the name neither the author, so I went on a side quest just to find it, I probably killed a whole forest and 3 dolphins with the amount of searching that I made chat GPT do for me, and, at the end this sweetie right here helped me. Thanks @yooniepot <3 after you, I kinda started to believe in humanity again.

Now starting on the actual fic, I think this author is not online anymore :( and I also can not see the Snow Ball Effect project :C. Thats sad bc this fic is soooooo good, like omg girl when I tell you this fic is GREAT I mean it.

This story made me go to little girly rainbow planet, I got so focused on the story because it can be a little confusing and you have to pay full attention to keep it up. its not bad written, I wanna make that clear, its actually confusing bc the plots kinda be plotting the whole time. I started to cringe out when JK said some shit. Jesus fucking christ I was so second hand embarrassed, my face was burning, I was almost begging for him to just shut up, how oc didn't sue him? still dont know. Like, boy was asking her how big she could handle first things first, JAIL.

this is basically the whole fic JK WHY SO ANNOYING

Reader is such a great woman, shes fierce and educated, shes not mean girl but shes not innocent, she is intelligent and funny and an idiot for not putting 2 + 2 with the gamer bf, that part was the best for me.

Another thing: She writes Jeongguk, woof woof woof.

idiots to lovers is something that I tend to enjoy too much and when you have this combos of online personas that dont know they know each other in real life and go to enemy to lovers ughhhhh mwah FLAVOR SAUCE SPICY HELL YEAH MAKE THEM HATE EACH OTHER TO DISCOVER THEY LOVE EACH OTHER MUA HA HA HA HA

The couple is soooooooo lovable, they are so funny together, Id love to be their students just to gossip about them behind their backs. I like that JK is very likable and yet a idiot, and OC is kinda cold but not really, and when we have JK povs they are so good, the one in the sex education class, yeah, me too JK.

Also, i gotta give it to the writer, she has so many punch lines, cookies, frosting, coming inside. You know what, now that I am writing this I think its very Sabrina Carpenter coded, yeah, thats it, this fic is ghost written by Sabrina Carpenter!!! Im starting a rumor!

also I think this 2 pics have a JK Frost Impressions energy (the reader pov of him)

in conclusion, this fic is a great work and I am sad the author is not online anymore. For anyone thats is looking for a silly thing that has great sex scene and is centered in love and has a "finally" type plot, this is probably my recommendation. It is not filthy and also is not kinky, is just pure love making with a loving stupid but perfect couple!

EDIT: SOOOO my man read this and made me rethink my choice of OC! We had a discussion bc he said that she is NOT a bad bitch serving cunt and I said ALL MY READERS ARE BAD BITCHES SERVING CUNT and he pointed that this reader is a Nerd Gamer she doesn't dress like a Office Siren, more like a school teacher, and unfortunately he was right. So I'm changing the pics for a better matching OC.

This is how I see this JK and this reader!! Are You Sure 2 JK!

For fanfiction review just drink my Bloody Toughts.

If you want to know what my favorite works are just read my Vampire Diaries, and delight yourself.

⚠︎ Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. The pictures and materials used belong to their rightful owners. I do not claim ownership of any photos posted. Credits will be given whenever possible.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

𖤐 credits; divider by: @kodaswrld

[jessikahathaway]

“Besties for the Resties?” - JJK (M)

Hello everyone, I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been having a tough time recently, so please try to understand if I’m not always super active here. I want to be and hopefully I can be here but if I slink into the abyss for a bit I apologize. So, I wanted to post this story so you all have something from me.

Please enjoy! Hopefully I will see you soon <3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: BFFs to Lovers (I love a trope pls), Angst, Romance, Smut

Warnings: Reader is orphaned, jk is a lil boob in the beginning (he works on it don’t worry), a slap (deserved one), alcohol/getting drunk, fainting/passing out, Jks antics (they deserve a warning tbh), Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking in for some cameo time (also-Yeri!)-SMUT WARNINGS: Oral (F!receiving), explicit language, unprotected sex (she has an implant but I stg don’t do it-this is fiction), Reader likes jks nips (who doesn’t tho?), kinda mushy and emotional sex, creampie.

Words: 21.2k (Listen I am just as shocked as you-)

Summary: Jungkook had always been your friend since the day you two met as young kids. But what happens when your friendship is put to the test? Can you remain “besties for the resties?” Or will years of friendship be lost in the blink of an eye?

Wait, you’re best friends with the Jeon Jungkook?

Yes.

You mean the most eligible bachelor in the country?

That’s the one, yeah.

Oh my God! You should come to our party next weekend! Of course you’ll have to bring your friend!

He’s been busy recently, I’m sorry.

Can you at least give me his phone number?

This was how a majority of conversations at your college went. People usually found out either because of Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media was hot right now.

Jungkook could always be found on these apps and usually, one way or another, you’d get roped into it as well.

Jeon Jungkook, 25 and heir to the Jeon billion dollar fashion mogul. But you’ve always known him as Kook, Kookie or Jungkook.

In your younger years, your mother had been a housekeeper and your dad ran a gym. It was an honest living and you were happy.

But when the Jeon’s put out an application for a new housekeeping position your mother couldn’t refuse. She’d applied and gotten the job. So you all moved and thus began your little friendship with the Jeon heir.

Mr. and Mrs. Jeon weren’t the typical ritzy asshole parents. They were welcoming, they were kind and they encouraged Jungkook to play with you, as someone who wasn’t a ‘spoiled brat’, as they liked to say.

Jungkook’s other friends tended to be a little more… well… over zealous.

Jimin was heir to a jewelry empire and Seokjin’s family were all celebrity chefs and Namjoon even had deep pockets due to his family being smart investors. Mainly in the Jeon brand but, it was good money.

They all were nice enough, never questioning Jungkook’s friendship with you-even building some of their own.

But at the end of the day, you and Jungkook were thick as thieves.

You weren’t as outgoing as they were, you liked staying home and reading or cleaning, maybe doing a little room decorating. But Jungkook loved to come over to your small apartment, he loved washing the dishes after you both cooked dinner. He liked doing the laundry and folding it nicely.

But as of recently, he hadn’t been able to come over nearly as much. With a new merger between The Jeon Label and some other foreign brand he’d been stuck at work for what felt like weeks.

He’d still text you and try to call if he could but, it still stung just a bit.

To be reminded of your place.

You were just hoping today he could make an exception.

You sat in your living room, trying not to cry as you looked at your phone.

Kook ❤️: still at work. Srry, I probs can’t make it tonight 😩

You: not at all?

Kook ❤️: it’s stupid busy here, even the interns are still here 🥲

You: bummer.

He’d really forgotten huh?

All these years and he’d forgotten the anniversary of your parents death. The one day out of the year you asked him to be with you.

All of his friends had messaged you their condolences, how they’re thinking of you.

But you only wanted one person here with you…

The one you cared about more than anything.

And he couldn’t make it…

You’d long understood that Jungkook was oblivious to your feelings. He saw you as the quiet friend, his sweet Y/N that he needs to protect. But, never as anything more.

It did sting when you’d see his Instagram flooded with influencers who were much prettier than you, who had more money, who could handle the stress of his job and title.

But you?

You set your phone down and sighed. Even a phone call would’ve been nice. But he’d forgotten, you tried not to be upset. But the ache in your chest made you mad.

Ring ring… ring ring…

You picked up the phone quickly. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/N,” a gruff voice sighed over the receiver.

“Oh… hey Yoongi,” you sighed.

Your history tutor made a small scoff. “Alright, don’t sound too disappointed,” he complained.

“No-I’m not! It’s just…”

“You were hoping for a call from Jeon huh?”

Were you that obvious?

“Maybe…”

“Has he not called you yet?” Yoongi wondered aloud.

“No, he’s stuck at the office apparently,” you sighed, biting your lip.

“He couldn’t even like… call you or some shit?” Yoongi asked, sounding irritated on your behalf.

“Well-there’s this big merger happening and-”

“Whoa whoa, no. Y/N, no. You never ask him for anything. You never get mad at him, you make excuses for him but not today man. Not today of all days. Did he forget?”

A small hiccup came from your mouth.

“I think so…”

“Oh Y/N…”

His voice was soft, something unusual for the typically gruff and aloof man.

It made the damn burst.

“I just wanted him here with me… I-Is that asking too much? On the day my world shattered? The day I lost everything? Yoongi even his parents called me this morning! Jimin, Namjoon and even Jin found time in their busy schedules to at least send me a sweet message! I-I’m so hurt…” you cried.

“Tell him that,” Yoongi offered.

“I don’t want to tell him… he should’ve remembered, he should know what today is…”

The day your parents were involved in a horrific car crash. Ripping them from this world and your arms so brutally.

“He should. It's not right that he forgot,” Yoongi sighed. “Listen, I gotta go but… I’m so sorry for your loss, and maybe we can go get coffee soon to make you feel better, hm?”

You sniffled and nodded, wiping your eyes.

“Sounds good Yoongi, thanks,” you sighed before hanging up.

You laid on the couch, curling up. You didn’t even bother to cover the dinner you’d made up.

You were too sick to eat it now.

—

Jungkook was furiously going over these numbers.

Nothing made any fucking sense at this point.

He’d been there since six that morning and it was nearing ten o’clock. He’d tried talking to you to get his mind off it, but you weren’t answering. Maybe you’d gone to bed early, you did mention there was a test coming up you were cramming for.

His eyes were tired.

His back hurt.

A knock came to his office door as his father stepped in, a gentle yet tired look on his face.

“Hey son,” he smiled, walking in.

Jungkook welcomed the distraction.

“Hey dad,” he beamed, standing up.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” he said, looking at Jungkook’s mess of a desk. Jungkook blushed softly and rubbed his neck.

“Just got a few more things to go over,” he shrugged. “Then I’m going home to pass out.”

“Ah, so you must’ve already called Y/N then? Usually you two get together today,” he said, looking at a few papers Jungkook had on his desk.

“Um… no? Was I supposed to?” He asked, rubbing his eyes, exhaustion creeping over him.

Jungkook’s father looked shocked and worst of all-disappointed.

“Oh Jungkook, don’t tell me you forgot…”

Jungkook’s brows furrowed. “Forgot what? It’s… it’s not her birthday! It’s the dead of summer!”

“Jeon Jungkook, that girl is your best friend, and you forgot the anniversary of her parents passing?!”

Jungkook’s blood ran cold.

“N-No… I-It’s not until…” his eyes narrowed on the calendar on his desk. “Oh shit…”

“I taught you better…”

“But this merger and-and the company-”

“If this company didn’t exist… if our wealth was liquidated tomorrow half of your friends wouldn’t be there anymore son… but I know for sure one would always be there, no matter what,” Mr. Jeon sighed. “Go, apologize. She deserves that much. I’ll finish up here.”

Jungkook nodded, grabbing his jacket and keys and rushing down the steps.

Fuck!

Fuck!

How could I forget? He cried internally as he rushed to his car.

He tried to call you, but the call went right to voicemail.

His car wove through the streets. He stopped at some twenty-four hour grocery store and got some soft pink flowers that he hoped would at least ease your anger at him.

When he arrived at your small apartment his heart was hammering in his chest. He knocked, and waited. Knocked again. Still no answer.

“Y-Y/N?” He called.

No response.

“Please open the door?”

Still nothing.

He frowned and tried the door, to his surprise it was open. He walked in, looking around for you. But his stomach dropped when he saw a nice dinner laid out on the table. A few of his favorites and yours put together with care.

This must be why you’d wanted to make dinner plans with him… he’s so fucking stupid.

He walked into the living room and his heart stopped. You were on the couch, face puffy and swollen from crying.

He felt like an ass.

His best friend needed him… and he wasn’t here.

He made his way to the couch, noticing you were dressed nice. You’d done your nails, hair and he could see you’d done your makeup as well but it was mostly gone now.

“Oh Y/N…” he sat on his knees in front of you, running his fingers through your hair and trying not to cry. He didn’t deserve to cry now… you were the one he’d disappointed, you were the one hurting.

Slowly, your eyes flickered open and took in his appearance.

“Kook?”

Your head hurt from crying, you could feel the smeared mascara and eyeliner coating your eyes.

“Y/N, I’m so-”

You didn’t let him finish, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into your arms. Hiding your face in his neck like you had since you were little.

“You’re here…”

His hands ran up your back as he clung to you.

“I’m here bug, right here,” he said, using your childhood nickname that he only used when you were mad.

“I thought you’d forgotten…”

Jungkook swallowed hard. “I did forget, dad… dad reminded me and I rushed to get here. I’m so sorry, bug. I’ve been so stressed from work but you-you’re more important,” he said firmly.

“You’re here now… that’s all I care about,” you smiled into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve been here earlier… you made dinner and-and you dressed up so nice, I feel like such an ass Y/N,” he frowned, holding your head.

“You should,” you said, pulling back and wiping your tears. “But you came, you apologized, I accept those. So don’t feel guilty, you can make it up to me.”

Jungkook nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! Whatever you want, I’ll do it!”

You smiled. “Okay, redo then. Next week, there’s a cute little boba place opening and I want to go, they’re supposed to have good prices too!”

“That’s all you want? Cause I can get us anywhere Y/N, anything. Nothing is off the table,” he said.

“Then boba,” you smiled. “That’s what I want, Jungkook, boba and time with you.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but mirror your grin. He nodded, kissing your head and holding you close.

“Then we’ll do boba.”

—

The week passed by uneventfully. You had your tests and such, Yoongi was a little scolding when you told him you’d forgiven Jungkook so quickly.

“He needs to know he hurt you, Y/N, or he’s just going to keep doing it.”

You shook your head. “No Yoongi, he apologized and I know he felt awful-”

“He should’ve, what he did was wrong,” Yoongi pointed out.

The two of you were sitting in the cafe, drinking watered down cheap coffee, but you were happy.

Jungkook hadn’t mentioned the boba place since that night but you knew he was busy. It was alright, you’d texted him the address and time so you two could meet up there.

“Y/N, when are you going to tell him?” Yoongi asked, sipping on his decaf americano. Utter sin, decaffeinated coffee.

“T-Tell him what?”

Yoongi raised a brow. “You’re such a shit liar,” he sighed.

“I can’t tell him Yoongi, I’m just his childhood friend, he probably hasn’t even noticed I’ve grown boobs,” you sighed.

“He’d be dumb not to notice those cause damn-”

You swatted him, trying not to blush. “Stop that, don’t ogle me in public.

“Are you inviting me to ogle in private?” He teased.

“In your dreams,” you snickered.

Yoongi nodded. “Sometimes.”

“I can’t just tell him I love him Yoongi! The last girlfriend he had was so manipulative and only wanted him for his money, he’s been defensive about dating since… I-I don’t want him to feel pressured around me like that and I’m going to be the cliche. I don’t want to ruin what we have, what if he says no?” You frowned.

“Then he’s an idiot and I’ll swoop in and take you for myself,” Yoongi shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, flicking his nose and watching him pout.

Yoongi had made it clear he was interested in you before. But when you’d confessed that you were in love with your best friend, he’d politely backed off. Although he still made it known he was attracted to you.

“There will be no swooping in, cause I’m not saying anything,” you frowned.

“You should tell him, Y/N, cause you keep thinking of the negatives. What if Jungkook is also in love with you? What if he says he loves you and wants to be with you as well? Isn’t that worth the risk?”

Your heart hammered in your chest.

I love you, Y/N…

God you wanted to hear those words so fucking bad…

A text came through your phone, a soft smile gracing your features.

“Ew, you got all heart eyes on me… is it him?” Yoongi asked.

Jungkook had sent you a picture of Bam, playing with the new toy you’d gotten him.

Kook ❤️: Bam loves his new toy 🥺

You: of course he does, mother knows best.

You and Jungkook had called you Bam’s mom since the second Jungkook brought him home.

Kook ❤️: he needs his mom, he’s being a brat today.

You: 🙄 Jungkook every time he acts up I can’t play bad cop.

Kook ❤️: why tho???? Save me… he’s bouncing off the fucking walls, and he’s not listening to meeeee.

You: make him listen???

Kook ❤️: our son misses his mom, come onnnn come see him

You: I stg

Kook ❤️: is that a yes?

You: I’ll be over in 15, tell Bam mommy’s coming.

Kook ❤️: yes dear!!

You rolled your eyes and sipped down the rest of your coffee.

Yoongi raised a brow at your conversation you’d left up on your phone.

“You two share custody of a mammoth dog?” He asked.

“No, Bam is Jungkook’s dog, he just likes to call me the mother of his dog,” you sighed.

Yoongi’s face contorted. “That’s… that’s a little intimate don’t you think?”

“It’s a dog not a baby,” you shrugged, standing up.

“Not yet,” he warned.

You scoffed and thanked him for the little coffee date before heading out and towards the subway.

Jungkook’s penthouse was rather far.

You approached his building calmly, they all knew you here. You came by frequently.

“Ah, Miss Y/N! Mr. Jeon said to expect you,” Minwoo the doorman said, smiling.

“Thanks Minwoo! I’ll be heading up,” you smiled back.

He nodded, calling the elevator for you.

You stepped in and held your breath. Elevators had always made you nervous. But thankfully this one was a generally quick ride.

You got up to Jungkook’s floor and walked in, Bam quickly running to you after you entered.

“Hi my baby!” You smiled, kissing his head as he wiggled his butt excitedly.

“Ah! Mommy’s home!” Jungkook said, coming to greet you.

“Yes yes, now why did I have to cut my outing short? Hmm? Bammy, have you been a bad boy for daddy?” You narrowed your eyes and Bam shrunk.

“He shit on the rug, tore up my brand new couch and got into the cupboard and ate all my instant ramen!” He complained.

“Well the last one is your fault, don’t put anything low unless you get a lock on the cupboard idiot,” you poked his cheek. “But the pooping and tearing stuff up isn’t okay Bam,” you said in your best firm tone.

Bam seemed to pout at being told off.

“Now, you need to be good for your daddy huh? Need to behave so daddy can do his work yeah? Otherwise mommy can’t bring you anymore toys,” you scolded.

Bam came closer and nudged his nose to your hand. You sighed and patted his head, scratching his ears and kissing his nose.

“Go play,” you said, patting his butt.

He did just that, finding your toy and throwing it around.

Jungkook sighed behind you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Magic, I swear to you. Every time I scold him he just nips at my fingers! Little brat,” he growled.

You shook your head.

“He’s a puppy, Kook, he’s going to get into trouble, but be firm and reward good behavior. Correct the bad, it’ll all work out. He’s got a great temperament and a good daddy,” you smiled.

“Aw, you’re so sweet to me,” he smiled.

“Well, I try,” you chuckled.

You two migrated to the couch, and you could see where Bam had chewed on it, earning the pup a sharp glare from you. Jungkook just covered it with a blanket and put on a TV show for you to watch.

You relaxed, being in Jungkook’s presence was always calming, had been since you were little.

He’d always been kind, soft with you and tender. But he also pushed you to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while and that was good too.

You made him feel human. Like he wasn’t this big name on a billboard, he was just Jungkook. Not Mr. Jeon, not the heir to a multibillion dollar company… just Jungkook.

And he loved that.

“God I’m tired,” you complained, rubbing your eyes.

Jungkook looked at the clock. It was late, you two had been chatting about random stuff most of the night.

“It’s almost eleven,” he frowned. “I’ve got to get up early…”

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“Marriage meeting,” he sighed.

You damn near choked.

“A-A what?” You squeaked.

“Marriage meeting, mom and dad want me to meet this girl from the states,” he frowned. “She’s supposed to be really nice and her dad is interested in running our brand in with his. He owns luxury department store and malls throughout North America and Europe, it’s a big deal and could be super good for the company.”

Your throat went dry.

“I-I thought your parents didn’t care who you marry?” You asked softly.

“Ah, they don’t really. But I’m getting older and if it’ll help the company I don’t see anything wrong with it… at least I know she won’t be in it for the money. She’s got plenty of her own,” he sighed.

Your stomach clenched painfully.

“I-I see,” you bit your lip.

“Her name is Elsie,” he said.

“Cool…”

He rubbed his eyes, blinking slowly. “I think I’m going to bed, you can stay if you want. Or call Naomi, she can take you home as well. Don’t take public transport now, it’s way too late,” he said, placing a gentle kiss to your head. “Night bug!”

You whispered what you thought was a good night but you weren’t sure.

Jungkook…

Married?

Oh God…

—

You hadn’t really spoken to Jungkook much in the days leading up to the boba outing.

But Yoongi was adamant you needed to tell him about your feelings. And soon.

“Yoongi, I don’t think it’s a good idea, especially with him meeting Elsie and… and everything with the company I don’t want to make him upset,” you frowned.

“But him hurting you is okay? Y/N, your feelings are just as important as his and he’s not seeing that. You need to say something! Or you’re really going to regret it,” he frowned.

You were getting ready for your little redo with Jungkook and Yoongi had come over for his notes and decided to stay and chat.

You put on a cute little white tennis skirt with white stockings and sneakers, you had your simple sky blue t-shirt on and were putting on your earrings.

“I’ll tell him eventually but-I can’t do it right now,” you reasoned. “It’s not the right time.”

“Then when is the right time, Y/N? If you keep making excuses and putting it off you’re only going to suffer more,” he sighed.

“I can wait a little longer,” you said.

“If you say so,” Yoongi said, done with arguing for now.

“How do I look?” You asked, turning and smoothing your skirt down.

Yoongi gave a soft smile. “You look great, do you want me to drop you off?”

“Sure!”

You'd shown up a little earlier than your agreed time but it didn’t matter, you smiled and waited, texting Jungkook that you were here.

An hour passed.

Then two.

Three…

No Jungkook.

You tried calling him.

You tried texting his friends, only Jin answered and he said he hadn’t spoken to him recently enough.

He asked if you were okay. You bluffed, telling him it wasn’t far from your house so if nothing else you’d get home quickly.

Why wasn’t he here…?

“Hey Jungkook…” you trailed off leaving your third voicemail. “Um… it's me again, the boba place closes in an hour and… and you’re still not here. I’m worried, are you okay? Call me please…”

Clouds rolled over the city, as the boba place closed.

Your heart was stomped into dust.

You'd waited six hours and he never showed, didn’t even text you.

He begged for a redo, a chance to make it up to you and… and he does this?

Your tears rolled down your face as the rain started. You couldn’t believe he’d stood you up.

How could he just forget about you like that?

“Fucking stupid… I’m so fucking stupid,” you cried.

You tried to call Yoongi but your phone died. With a sigh you started to walk. It was maybe two miles back to your apartment and the rain didn’t look like it was going to let up anytime soon.

You didn’t even have an umbrella to cover you up.

You shivered as you walked down the street, it was getting cold for a summer night.

As you walked your legs cramped from the chill and the soaked clothes clinging to you.

“Y/N?” A voice called from the road. You turned your head and saw Mr. Jeon getting out of his car and hurrying over to you.

“M-Mr. Jeon,” you stammered out.

“Oh sweetheart what happened?! Why are you out here in the rain?” He said, taking off his jacket and covering you.

You broke down in tears all over again. Mr. Jeon ushered you to the car, turning up the heat.

His driver was waiting patiently, giving you a smile.

“Tell me what happened, why are you soaked?”

“J-Jungkook and I were supposed to… to go to the new boba shop downtown and… and I waited for six hours and he never showed,” you cried, shivering in his seat.

Mr. Jeon’s face turned furious.

“He did what?”

“W-When he forgot my parents' anniversary… h-he wanted to make it up to me so… so I asked him to meet me there for the opening so we could… just hang out and… I tried to call him… text him… he didn’t answer,” you hiccuped.

Mr. Jeon growled in frustration.

“Edward, take us to my son’s apartment please, I’d like to have a word with him,” Mr. Jeon said coldly.

“No, Mr. Jeon please it’s not-”

“If my son is going to treat a woman like this, he is not ready to take over the company. He needs to learn a valuable lesson. And he needs to see what happens when he hurts people,” he stated firmly.

You were quiet for the rest of the car ride.

Mr. Jeon took you up the elevator, rubbing your shoulders to try and get you to warm up.

He didn’t even knock on the door, he barged in and hollered loudly. “Jeon Jungkook, you come here this instant!”

It was late, so Jungkook stumbled out of his room in his sweatpants.

He’d been sleeping?

“Dad? What are you-Y/N? Why are you wet?”

Mr. Jeon slammed his fist on the door to shut it behind you so hard it made you jump.

“Kitchen. Now.”

Jungkook swallowed in fear, but nodded, heading towards the kitchen as his father escorted you and sat you down. Jungkook looked at you in confusion.

“Jeon Jungkook tell me right now why I found Y/N walking through the streets alone and soaked!”

“I don’t know dad! I have no idea why she was out there!”

“You don’t remember?” You squeaked out. “Y-You forgot me? Again?”

Jungkook’s face turned frustrated for a moment. “Y/N, why were you out in the rain?”

“I was waiting…”

“Jungkook, do you remember what you asked for? Do you remember that you forgot her parents' anniversary?”

“I apologized and I asked…” recognition and horror crossed his face. “Oh fuck… the boba shop… I swore I put it on my calendar! I-It wasn’t today originally was it-”

“Jungkook! That doesn’t matter,” Mr. Jeon rubbed his face in frustration.

“Jungkook, she waited for you for six hours! Where were you!?”

“Elsie and I got lunch and then she came over for a while and… and then we um,” he rubbed his neck. And then you saw it. A dark purple mark on his neck.

They’d slept together.

You wanted to throw up.

“Jungkook, I raised you better than this! You know better than to treat the people you claim to care about this way! How dare you leave her soaked and waiting in the rain for you! Do you know how dangerous it could’ve been? She was walking home! In the fucking rain and that damn shop was nearly three miles away from her apartment!” He screamed.

You shrunk at the realization.

He didn’t care…

The second a pretty girl comes along, he forgets all about you. Are you that boring? That uninteresting?

Bam came over and set his head on your lap, whimpering at the loud noises.

“Dad I’m sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me before you say sorry to her,” he snarled.

Jungkook frowned. “I’m sorry Y/N,” he said softly.

“Jungkook I-”

“I’m taking you off the merger,” Mr. Jeon declared.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock. “B-But dad I’ve worked so hard!”

“You’ve forgotten, Jungkook. You’ve forgotten about what really matters. All the money in the world couldn’t buy you love… it can’t buy you happiness. Money can’t fix what you’ve done wrong,” Mr. Jeon said.

“But I’ve worked so long to do this! You can’t just take me off of it! The board will think I’m incompetent!”

“And maybe you are!”

The room got quiet.

“I should’ve known you were too young to take over, you’re not ready yet. I’ve told you time and time again that at the end of the day the company isn’t what’s important. Your family, your friends Jungkook, that’s what’s important!” He yelled.

“I know that!”

“Clearly you don’t! Have you even checked your phone?”

Jungkook was about to argue when he saw your face, you couldn’t even look at him.

“No, I haven’t,” he said.

Mr. Jeon looked at you.

“I called you…” you whispered. “I thought something bad had happened, because I believed you couldn’t forget me… not again,” you sniffled.

“Bug…”

“Don’t…” you begged. “Please don’t.”

You really tried to tamp down the anger, the fury. There were so many good memories with Jungkook.

But recently, not only his behavior but the behavior of people who wanted something from you just because he was your friend.

You’d never felt so utterly used.

“Do I really not matter enough to you? All these years of being your best friend and… and this is how you treat me? I know you’re busy, I know work is hard. But school is hard too, people aren’t nice all the time and sometimes I wish I could call you, but I don’t want to bother you at work,” You cried harder.

“Y/N please-”

“I called everyone trying to find you! I texted you! I called you, I even called your office! I was so petrified, I didn’t want to interrupt but they told me you were out! Why, Jungkook? Why… why don’t I matter to you at all?”

“That’s not true!” He cried.

“Then how could you forget me?! Again!” You screamed.

Mr. Jeon looked down.

Jungkook was stunned.

You never screamed at him, you didn’t scream at anybody. You were always so soft, so gentle and tender. You were understanding.

But Jungkook hurt you.

More than once.

And you were tired of it.

“I’m so sick of the person I love more than anything, hurting me like this… if this is how you’re going to treat me then I don’t want to be your friend anymore,” you said, voice breaking.

“No, Y/N, please! Please don’t do this, I love you so much, bug, please!” He said, tears in his own eyes.

“I love you too, but it’s not enough, Jungkook… I’m never going to be enough for you, and I’m tired of trying. Good luck with Elsie, good luck with being a billionaire, and good luck with the company… it’s obviously important,” you said, standing on shaky legs. “Mr. Jeon, I’d like to go home now… will you please take me?”

“No! Let me take you, let’s talk about this bug, don’t do this!” Jungkook sobbed, standing up.

“I’ll take you home, Y/N, come along,” Mr. Jeon said.

“Goodbye, Jeon… hope it’s worth it,” you said, turning to leave.

Jungkook scrambled to grab you, to plead to beg, whatever it took for you not to walk out that door. His chest ached at the sight of your swollen eyes and soaked frame.

He fucked up. He knew that, but if he could just explain…

Just as he was about to grab your wrist you turned and slapped him.

Hard.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Please, Jungkook. Just let me go.”

Jungkook froze, his cheek stinging but he could hardly feel it over the agonizing pain that flared in his chest.

The door shut firmly, leaving Jungkook in his apartment.

He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

He was a fool…

And he’d lost you for good.

—

You called Yoongi a few days later.

“He forgot me,” you said softly.

“He what?”

“He never showed up that night… his dad found me walking home in the rain,” you explained.

“That motherfucker…” Yoongi growled.

“I told him I was done. I’m not going to see him anymore and I’m no longer his friend,” you said, your heart breaking with each word.

“Is that what you want?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes…?” You said it like it was a question.

“Well, it’s still fresh and it still hurts. Give yourself time to heal, maybe you can be friends again. He’s important to you,” Yoongi offered.

“But I’m not important to him,” you said, a few tears pricking your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say that either,” he sighed.

“Huh?”

“You two have been friends for over thirteen years Y/N, he cares about you. You can’t be friends with someone that long and not care about them,” he said.

“But he forgot-”

“I understand that, he was a shitty friend recently. And you gave him a chance and he didn’t follow through, but thirteen years is a long time. It’s hard to wipe the slate clean and walk away from that. I’m not saying you have to forgive him now, or ever. Forgiveness is mainly for you, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more happy than when he’s around,” he said gently.

“I-I know…” you whispered.

“You never told him you love him, you should do that,” Yoongi stated.

“I can’t… not now,” you frowned.

“Maybe not now… maybe not even in a few months. But, if those feelings don’t go away? You need to say something to him,” he said firmly.

“Okay, I’ll… I’ll think about it,” you sighed.

“Hey, it’s your life and relationships, you do what you think is best but… that kind of love isn’t something you should ever-ever walk away from, no matter what,” he said.

“I’ll think about it, Yoongi, thank you,” you said.

You said goodbye and stared out your window.

Would you ever be able to forgive him?

—

Months passed and Jungkook stayed far away from you.

Just as you asked.

No texts.

No calls.

Nothing.

But even after four months apart, you still couldn’t delete his number from your phone.

You’d made a friend with a girl from your anthropology class. Yeri.

She’s super sweet and bubbly, kind and always down for some fun.

It was nice having a female friend. You were usually surrounded by men.

“Oooh, I like this one!” She said with a smile, holding up your emerald green cocktail dress Jungkook had gifted you on your 21st birthday.

Seeing it hurt your heart, but you knew you’d look good in it.

Jungkook had always had impeccable taste.

“Yeah, I like it,” you smiled.

You two were going to the club tonight, and you wanted to get smashed. News of Jungkook’s engagement to Elsie had been swarming the tabloids. Your heart ached at the thought of him being with someone else.

But you’d washed your hands clean of him.

Or so you thought...

Yeri and you arrived at the club a little after eleven.

The party was just getting started.

She went over and got you two some drinks, starting the night off with assessing your possible conquests. Yeri was bold and unashamed of her flirtatious nature. She’d never seen you go after any man! Even though you weren’t lacking attention from the opposite sex.

You just knew that you still weren’t over Jungkook. You missed him so much, your finger had hovered over his number so many times. His contact photo always made your chest ache. A cute selfie of him that he’d taken when he got you this phone for your birthday last year. It was nearing that time again. Fall was in full swing and winter was sure to follow.

Yeri pouted when you spaced out.

“Y/N? Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been kinda down today?”

You had been.

It was the first year you hadn’t spent Jungkook’s birthday with him since you’d been friends and you heard from Jimin that he hadn’t done the usual big bash. Just something small and lowkey. Not his style at all. Jin said he didn’t even really want to celebrate this year, he’d been working so much and he didn’t care if anyone remembered his birthday.

You almost broke that night.

You had been sleeping when your reminder pinged at 12:00 AM on September first.

JUNGKOOKIE’S 25TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

You’d managed to fall back asleep after sobbing in your pillows, but the ache still remained. You even had his birthday present wrapped in your closet. You’d saved up some money to get him a nice silver bracelet.

You got a cute engraving on it and everything.

JK + Y/N BFFs <3

But, time changes. It’s ever flowing and it’s difficult to comprehend.

However, you hoped he was still having fun. Still able to smile brightly, to laugh with his whole chest, to enjoy food that makes him happy, to-

“Y/N? Hey!”

You startled, realizing you’d been day dreaming...

Again.

“I’ll just be your wingwoman okay?” You said.

Yeri frowned but nodded. “Alright babe, I’m thinking of talking to that guy over there,” she pointed to an attractive man on the dance floor. He was moving his hips to the beat in a tantalizing fashion and you knew immediately why Yeri would love to take him home.

“Alright, game on,” you said, downing your drink.

The night progressed and Yeri discovered this Hoseok guy was quite the charmer.

They danced and hit it off rather well, and you watched from the bar as you drank yourself stupid...

--

It was nearing two in the morning and you were wasted.

Yeri and Hoseok were heading out but she was insistent that she find a ride for you before she left.

“Yerrrriiiii~” you cooed, leaning against her heavily.

“God you’re so drunk,” Yeri whined, trying to keep you upright.

“Should we call her a cab?” Hoseok asked, worried.

“No… if I can’t ride with her then I’m worried she might get hurt… Y/N, sweetie, give me your phone okay?” She asked.

You didn’t object, handing it over to her.

She scrolled through and found your emergency contacts.

“Kook with a red heart emoji?” She wondered aloud.

“Probably her boyfriend or something, try it. If they don’t answer we can figure something else out,” Hoseok said, attempting to get you to drink some water.

“Right, yeah,” Yeri hit the call button.

It rang a few times before a tired voice answered.

“Hello?” It asked.

“Hi… um… is this Kook?” Yeri asked.

“Who’s calling?” His voice sounded annoyed.

“I’m sorry, my name is Yeri. I’m a friend of Y/N’s? She’s super drunk at a bar and I’m worried about her getting home safe,” she said.

“Y/N…?” The voice sounded weak, like he was ready to cry.

“I-Is this a bad time? I can just call her a cab, but-”

“No! No, I’ll come and get her, where are you?” He asked.

“Nightshade club, on Latner Street? Know the one?”

“I do, I’ll be there in five minutes,” he said before hanging up.

Yeri helped you to a chair, trying to keep you from falling over.

“Poor Y/N, I shouldn't have let you drink this much,” she frowned.

“Sss’otayyy, Yerrrriiii!” You slurred.

“Someone’s coming to get you okay? He’ll be here soon, alright?”

You nodded your head, mind spinning.

Shortly, a nice black car rolled up to the club.

A very handsome young man approached Yeri, who was still struggling to keep you from the bar.

“Y/N! Don’t climb up there!” She cried.

“Who are you?” Hoseok asked, moving to grab the young man in case he got too close to the two ladies.

“I’m Jungkook, I’m here for her,” he nodded at you, trying to climb the bar.

“Y/N! Stop!” Yeri yelled.

“Dunnn wannnaaaaa~”

Jungkook frowned, he’d rarely seen you this drunk. You must be upset...

Even on your 21st birthday you'd kept it pretty classy.

“Bug, it’s time to get down, you need to go home before you get hurt,” Jungkook said, softly.

Your head turned to see him. Your eyes sparkled when you realized he was there.

“Kook!” You cried, clambering down from the bar and stumbling over to him. “You’re here…” you trailed off, hands smoothing over his chest. Jungkook tried to keep himself from crying into your arms as he turned you to your friends. Or at the very least, the people who’d kept you alive for the night.

“Yes, I’m here. Say goodbye to your friends and thank them,” he said, holding your shoulder to steady you.

“Bye Yeri! Bye Hoseok! Thanks!” You said.

Jungkook sighed and was glad you weren’t slapping him five ways to Sunday.

“Come on bug, time to go home,” he said.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Carry me?” You asked, lips pouting.

Jungkook’s heart stammered in his chest. Being away from you for so long had made him weak. He’d usually tease you for being so clingy when drunk, but right now he couldn’t say no. He picked you up easily, covering you with his arms.

Yeri moved and placed her hand on his shoulder. Jungkook turned back and looked at her with confusion.

Her eyes were stern. “I shared her location with me earlier, you better take care of her. If she’s not home in twenty minutes I’m calling the cops,” she warned.

Jungkook moved to say something when you peeped up from his arms, looking over his shoulder happily.

“Issokay Yeri! Kook won’t hurt me, he loves me,” you smiled, obviously inebriated. Your cheek was squished against his shoulder as your eyes blinked slowly in your friend’s direction. Jungkook’s chest tightened at your statement.

God... if you only knew how true that was...

Yeri gave Jungkook a skeptical look before nodding.

“She’s been sad lately, I don’t think I’ve seen her this excited since I met her,” she said good naturedly. “You seem to make her happy, but please keep her safe.”

Jungkook nodded. “I won’t let anything happen to her,” he promised.

Not even myself...

He carried you to the car, getting you buckled in and getting himself situated before taking off.

You were pretty quiet throughout the whole ride. He’d even thought you’d fallen asleep at one point.

But when he pulled up to your apartment you were still awake, blinking at him as he undid your seatbelt.

“I missed you, Kook,” you sighed, trying to stand up but only succeeding in falling into his arms.

Jungkook quickly grabbed you, holding you upright. Your eyes were bright in the street light next to your apartment. God... He’d missed you so much, he’d missed your big eyes and how expressive you were.

But he knew he shouldn’t enjoy this...

You probably wouldn’t even remember he’d been there when you woke up.

“I missed you too, Y/N,” he said softly, lifting you into the air and carrying you to your apartment. “Keys? Bug? Where are your keys,” he asked, brushing your hair away from your face.

“Purse...” you mumbled, already getting sleepy on him.

He fiddled with your purse for just a second before grabbing the key ring. His heart stopped when he saw you still had the one he’d purchased for you. Cute little cherry blossoms in resin. He knew how much you loved the flowers, he’d even planned to take you to Japan the following year so you could see them like in all those animes the two of you watched.

But he’d fucked that up.

He’d fucked it up so, so badly and now you’d never go see the cherry blossoms with him... He’d never get to sleep on your couch with you again after a marvel marathon. He couldn’t text you when Bam was being a brat... Ever since that night in his apartment Bam had been a menace to Jungkook. Nipping at him and even growling sometimes.

And his dog missed you too.

Bam wouldn’t play with the toy you’d given him anymore, he just held it in his mouth and laid by the door sometimes. It broke Jungkook’s heart to see his dog missing you too. Because Jungkook wasn’t doing much better.

He’d sit in his office and stare at the picture of you two after you graduated highschool. He’d been so proud of you. And you were just happy to start your life...

And now?

Here you were, getting black out drunk because he’d been a shitty friend. He’d broken your heart and he’d never be able to forgive himself for that.

“Find it?” you asked, voice soft and breathy.

Jungkook jolted before nodding, quickly getting the door unlocked and you inside. He set your feet on the floor as he tried to shut the door behind him. But you were already making things difficult. “Kook? Hey~” you said, poking his cheek. “Why won’t you look at me?” you asked, pouting.

You got so clingy when you were drunk.

Jungkook used to make fun of you and your tipsy antics but right now? He was so starved for your touch he would do damn near anything to keep you in his arms just a moment longer.

Because now he’d have to let you go again.

And it was going to fucking suck.

“Just getting the door closed, Bug. Give me just a second,” he said, holding you up as he managed to get the damn thing to latch. You still hadn’t fixed it, even though Jungkook told you several times he could call someone to get it done.

‘Nah!’

You’d say with a bright smile.

‘Gives me a project to do later.’

Damn, he was about to cry over a damn door.

This was pathetic.

But so fucking true.

Karma was a bitch and now she was making him suffer. He’d been a shit to you, and not only you. He’d been an asshole to his other friends after you’d left as well. They managed to get him on the right track, but he wasn’t the same.

He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Karma.

“Hey... Kook?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yes bug?” he asked, attempting to get you to your bedroom so he could at least get your makeup and shoes off.

“Are you real? Is this a dream?” you asked.

He swallowed a sob.

Even in your drunken stupor, you remembered what he did. You remembered what happened and you knew that you weren’t friends anymore.

So what would be better?

A dream that you wouldn’t even remember when you woke up?

Or a reality that could upset you even more?

“It’s a dream, bug, go to sleep. You’ll wake up all nice and warm in your bed, nice coffee-”

You made a noise against his shoulder. Jungkook thought for a second you might throw up but that’s when he felt wetness seeping into his shirt.

You were crying.

“I knew it wouldn’t be true...” you hiccuped, resting your head on his shoulder. “I was hoping you were here... I was hoping you came to get me, that you didn’t delete my number and that you were still my friend.”

Jungkook’s eyes got watery too. Fuck... He wanted to tell you, he wanted to comfort you.

“I’m here now,” he said, lifting your head so he could wipe your eyes. Your mascara was everywhere and your lipstick was smeared from drinking and now crying into his shoulder. “Even if it’s a dream, I’m still here,” he said.

“But you won’t be when I wake up...”

Another sob swallowed.

“No... I won’t be, Bug,” he said, letting a few of his own tears fall. “But that’s okay, because Yeri will be. She’s a great friend to you, huh? She’s nice, tell me about her,” he tried.

“I never wanted anyone but you,” you cried.

He couldn’t do this... He absolutely could not do this. He couldn’t leave you again, he couldn’t just walk away when you were so sad. And he was too... He was weak.

Your hands on his cheeks startled him.

He was crying too. And he was crying hard.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I fucked up our friendship, I made you think you didn’t matter. I’m so so so sorry, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Please, believe me when I say it wasn’t intentional, I never wanted to lose you. If-If I could take it back, I would. I would meet you at that cute boba shop, I’d bring flowers because you love them, not because I fucked up. I-I love you, and I miss you. Always will. But, I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your friendship, I took you for granted and I lost you. That’s how it works.”

He cried as he pushed his forehead against yours, trying to will his apology into your inebriated mind. He knew it wouldn’t stick, he knew you wouldn’t remember. But here and now... He’d at least apologized, he’d at least given you something.

“I love you too, I miss you too,” you cried, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Please don’t leave, I don’t want to wake up and you not be there.”

“You’ve done it before, you’ll survive,” he promised.

“What if I don’t? What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there, huh?” you whimpered, hiding your face in his neck.

“Don’t say that bug,” he begged, rubbing your back. “Don’t say stuff like that, I’m not worth dying over.”

“You are to me...” you cried, clutching him tightly.

Jungkook’s head hurt from how much he was crying. But he pulled himself together. “Come on, you need to go to sleep. You’re tired and you’re not going to feel too good if you keep this up,” he sighed, lifting you into his arms again and carrying you to your room.

He sat you on the bed and managed to get your heels off. He set them nicely by your closet, even sticking some paper towel in them so they wouldn’t wrinkle. He noticed your dress and sighed. He’d bought it for you for your birthday and he just knew you’d look incredible in it. You always begged him not to get you designer stuff, even though he literally was the heir to a fashion mogul. So, he’d shopped on your favorite site and found one you’d look good in.

Even if it was on the pricery end of the website it didn’t even scratch the surface of the money he was prepared to dump on you for your birthday.

But you never wanted it.

You’d always asked for the same things.

A new book.

Some new pens.

New fuzzy socks.

More coffee pods.

A night in with him and some friends.

You didn’t want extravagant. You didn’t think people who did were snobby or high maintenance. You always said that just because a person liked nice things, didn’t mean they weren’t a nice person. If only he didn’t prove you wrong...

All you wanted was his time.

And he didn’t realize that until you didn’t want anything from him anymore.

“Jungkook...” you said, while he was taking off your makeup.

You didn’t sound as drunk anymore, but your glossy eyes told him you were on the verge of falling asleep.

“Yes bug, what’s up?” he said, trying to sound calm.

“Will you stay? Just until I’m asleep, will you stay with me until then?” you asked, eyes filling with tears all over again.

He didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Of course, bug. I’ll stay until you’re asleep.”

He managed to get your makeup off and you in bed, snuggled up nice and comfortable. He was sitting at the foot of your bed, ready to head home when your voice spoke up.

“I’m not asleep yet, you can’t leave...”

Jungkook turned to see you, eyes sparkling with tears as you fought sleep. He’d never seen you work so hard to not fall asleep before. You were always ready to pass out when you’d gotten done drinking. Honestly he was impressed you’d made it this far.

“Y/N, go to sleep. You need to rest, you’re tired,” he said, giving your hip a gentle pat.

“Then let me look at you,” you begged, reaching for him. “If it’s the last time I’m gonna see you then I want to remember you, I want to remember every inch of your face so I never forget. Please,” you cried. You were over tired at this point, Jungkook could tell from a mile away.

You were always so weepy and dramatic when you got too tired. But he knew the desperation you felt. He wanted the same, to look at you head to toe. Remember every inch of you, even if the memory would break his heart, at least he had it.

Jungkook let a few more tears fall down his cheeks. He wanted so badly to curl up with you in your bed, talk about your day, the newest anime you were watching. How you were handling school...

“You don’t want to remember me the way I am now, Y/N, I’m angry and sad and not nearly someone worthy of you remembering,” he said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“I think I should decide that,” you said, eyes drooping. You were almost out.

He took your hand in his, placing it on his face as he leaned forward enough so you wouldn’t have to stretch too far to touch him. You smoothed your fingers over his face, tracing the familiar features like you had when you were younger. You were the type of person who loved to run your fingers along all the sweaters in the store, the soft blankets in his apartment, your fuzzy socks as you pulled them up over your feet. And, his face. You’d always done it when he was upset. It gave him something to focus on. Your touch soothed him, made him relax and he felt so at ease when you were there.

There was no pretense, no expectations.

Just you and him.

Unfortunately, all too soon, your hand slowly fell from his cheek onto his shoulder. A soft snore echoing through the room.

Jungkook allowed himself to break then.

He cried, holding your hand against his cheek as he tried to calm down enough to at least drive home. But fuck...

Fuck it hurt so bad.

--

You woke up feeling like you’d gone to hell and back all in one evening.

And you didn’t remember a damn thing.

Well, you remember Yeri and Hoseok...

You remember wanting to dance on the bar, but... After that?

You winced as you sat up. A glass of water and medicine by your bed. You tilted your head and frowned for a second.

Yeri must’ve put it there for you.

You gave a soft smile before taking the medicine and getting up. Your head hurt and your face was super puffy like you’d been crying. Damn, you hoped you hadn’t made Yeri uncomfortable at all. You weren’t super close, but you’d like to be.

She was really kind and genuine so you were really hoping that your night of drunken stupor hadn’t frightened her off.

You’d been drunk around her before but not blackout.

Thankfully, Yeri called later so you could apologize.

“Yerrriii~” you whined, hiding your face in the couch. “I don’t want to hear about my drunken escapades. I’m embarrassed enough as it is!”

“Ah, sweetie,” she chuckled. “No need to be, I apologized to the bartender and he was cool about it. Hoseok wasn’t even phased, he said he had a friend who was wilder than you when drunk! Crazy huh?”

“Well at least you got to go home with a cute guy!” you smirked.

Yeri sounded confused as she spoke next. “You went home with someone too, your boyfriend right?”

“Huh?” you sat up. “What do you mean, Yeri? I thought you brought me home?”

“No, Hoseok and I couldn’t figure out how to get you home and then me home without getting one of those big Ubers that are stupid expensive and I didn’t want to leave you alone in a cab so we called and this super hot guy showed up! Calling you sweet little nicknames and you said he loves you so I just assumed-”

“What was his name? Yeri?” your voice was strained.

Did he come for you?

At two in the morning did he wake up and drive halfway across the town just for you?

“Um... someone named, uh-Kook? With a little red heart emoji?” she clarified.

Suddenly you felt sick, sicker than you had when you woke up.

Jungkook...

“Shit...” you said, eyes welling up with tears.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Should I not have called him? Did he hurt you!? Are you okay? I’ll kill him what-”

“No, Yeri... He’s a good guy, I’ve known him for years. We had a-uh... Falling out a few months ago, so,” you coughed awkwardly, trying to stave off the agony piling up in your throat.

“Well... He seemed pretty worried about you. Seems to care about you a lot, to come all that way to pick you up and take you home,” she said, trying to make you feel better.

But it only made you feel worse.

“Thanks, Yeri... I’m gonna be late for class if I don’t get moving. Sorry, I’ll chat later?”

“Sure, Y/N, take it easy!”

--

You’d never been good at reading your own body.

If you were sick, you were always the last one to pick up on it. Jungkook was always the one who seemed to notice you wheezing, your sore throat and coughing.

But even you were starting to think that maybe you should go see a doctor...

It’d been two weeks since Jungkook had picked you up from the bar, and he hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t texted, hadn’t called or even checked in on you through his friends you still spoke to.

Yoongi was the one to mention you looking unwell.

“You look like shit.”

He could’ve said it nicer but he got his point across.

“I’m fine,” you said, voice scratchy and head throbbing.

“If you’re fine then I’m fucking Hercules,” he snorted. “After class go get some tea and sleep, okay?”

You nodded.

But you were a big, fat liar.

It was reaching damn near ten o’clock and the library at your school was closing.

You’d been trying to finish this project all night and you hadn’t gotten an ounce of work done. The words were all jumbled, your mind was mush and you were so tired you were fighting to stay awake.

As you were walking up the steps to your apartment you could feel something was wrong. You weren’t okay, you really needed to see a doctor...

Your head was spinning, your chest felt heavy and you could tell you had a fever with how hard your hands were shaking as you tried to get into your apartment.

You grabbed your phone, desperately trying to call Yoongi or Yeri to come and help you.

Neither answered.

It was late... They probably wouldn’t even see you called until the morning...

Could you call him?

He came before...

In your delirious and frightened stupor you hit call, your knees were shaking and you were panting into the phone.

“Hello?”

His voice...

Oh fuck, his voice...

“Jungkook,” you whimpered, head foggy as you tried to stay on your feet.

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

Your mind was blacking out. The edges of your vision going dark as you tried to keep yourself upright.

“Kook... help me...”

And everything went dark.

--

Work was hell.

It was so late and he just wanted to fucking go home and drink.

Ever since he took you home a few weeks back he’d been having a hard time sleeping. All he could see was your crying face as you begged him to be there when you woke up.

And his calendar was just fucking crammed.

Jungkook was struggling to keep up with everything. He had wedding planning to do, dinners to arrange, meetings to attend and-

Ring ring... Ring ring...

Who the fuck was calling right now!?

Jungkook didn’t even look at the phone as he answered it.

“Hello?” he asked into the receiver.

Soft panting came through the phone. “Jungkook...”

That was your voice.

His heart was beating a million miles a minute. What were you calling him for?

Were you drunk again?

“Y/N...? Why are you calling me-”

He didn’t even get to finish his statement before his stomach dropped to the floor.

In your weak, shaking voice you called for him.

“Kook... help me...” you pleaded before he heard a loud thud and the phone fall.

“Y/N?” he asked.

No response.

“Y/N, hey!” he called. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

Still no response.

He didn’t know where you were, he didn’t know what was going on.

But he was going to find you.

Thank God you didn’t block his number. He kept your call open as he tried to use location tracking on his phone.

“Bug? Can you hear me? What’s going on, where are you?” he asked, trying to see if you’d talk.

His phone pinged with the location.

Your apartment.

You were at home.

Without any second thoughts he burst out of his office and took off down the hall, grabbing his keys and wallet and bolting down the stairs to his car. He wasn’t waiting for a fucking elevator.

He stayed on the line the whole way to the parking structure, trying to talk to you. Trying to see what was going on. When he finally got to his car the call dropped.

He panicked and kept trying to call you back, but your phone must’ve died.

“Shit, shit!” he said, jumping into the front seat and driving erratically down the road.

He was shocked no one pulled him over with how recklessly he was driving. You’d scold him for it later, but right now he needed to know you were okay. Even if you slapped the shit out of him, beat him and told him to never come near you again.

He needed to know you’d be okay...

When he pulled up to your apartment building he flew up the steps and to your door. It wasn’t latched, so he pushed it open and found you laying on the floor.

“Y/N!” he cried, falling to his knees next to you. “Hey, hey are you okay? Y/N, sweetheart hey!” he called, trying to get you to wake up.

You were burning up and he came to the conclusion you were sick.

And you’d put it off like you always do.

Carefully he tried to sit you up when he noticed the blood on the floor. His heart stopped as he checked you over but found it had come from your nose. You must be really sick if you were like this. Usually you’d see a doctor if it got this bad but, apparently you didn’t catch it quick enough this time.

With strength he didn’t know he had, he hauled you into his arms and carried you to the car.

He just hoped you’d be okay.

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

--

Everything ached.

Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw you were in a hospital bed.

There was an older woman checking a clipboard at the end of your bed who met your eyes and smiled gently. “Hello sweetheart,” she said.

“H-Hi...?” you asked, trying to sit up.

“Ah ah,” she stopped you, coming close to help you settle back in. “Try not to move a lot just yet. You’ve been out for a whole day,” she said.

You looked outside and noticed it was dark... But not from the night you passed out, it was the next night.

“Oh...” you said, biting your lip sheepishly.

“That boyfriend of yours is going to have a fit you woke up and he’s not here,” she chuckled.

“Boyfriend?” you asked.

“Oh, I don’t mean to assume. The one who brought you here. He carried you in here all panicked. We thought you were going into labor with how he was acting,” she chuckled, but it was good natured. “He was so worried about you, calling you bug and sweetheart, holding your hand when the doctors came in to check on you. We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you,” she said softly.

Jungkook...?

In love with you...?

“Where is he?” you asked as she lifted a cup of water to your lips for you to drink.

“Ah, unfortunately his dad came and sent him home. He’d been at work all day when you’d called and then he stayed until just about an hour ago,” she said.

He was with you for almost twenty-four hours?

“He... he didn’t leave at all?” you asked.

“No, he got snippy with the nurses a few times though. But we knew he didn’t mean anything by it, he’s worried about you,” she said.

“I-Is his dad still here?” you asked.

“Yes, he is. Do you want me to get him?” she offered.

“Yes... Yes I’d like to speak with him please,” you said.

She nodded and disappeared out of the room and down the hall.

He came for you...

You called and he came for you.

He carried you into the hospital and was worried, he snipped at some nurses because he was worried...

We just assumed you two were together because... how in love he is with you...

Jungkook, loves you?

“Y/N?” Mr. Jeon’s voice echoed loud in your ears as you turned to look at the door.

He looked good for not having seen him in almost five months. You gave him a kind smile before he came over and squeezed your hand gently.

“You scared us,” he said, holding your hand carefully. “Jungkook called me in hysterics, saying you were dying in the hospital and I had to come see you and then he wasn’t making any sense-anyways,” he said, another squeeze to your hand.

If he wasn’t making any sense how did he drive home?

Was he okay?

Did he eat anything? Drink anything-

“Don’t worry, Y/N, I called Naomi and she came and got him. I told her to make sure he drank water and had something to eat before he went to bed, okay?” he said, reassuring you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling tears fall down your cheeks.

Mr. Jeon shook his head, wrapping you up in his arms gently. “You have nothing to apologize for. Least of all to me, Jungkook’s the one who was about ready to have an aneurysm because of a fever.”

You sighed. “He’s always been melodramatic, why stop now?” you joked.

Mr. Jeon chuckled softly, giving a nod before stepping back. “He’s going to be devastated you woke up and he wasn’t here... He kept babbling about how you’d die if you woke up and he was gone.”

What if I die because I wake up and you’re not there?

Wait...

You’d said that.

It’s fuzzy, and makes your mouth taste sour but. You remember saying that to Jungkook.

Suddenly, you were thrown back into that night.

Asking him if he was a dream.

Asking him if he would stay.

“When will he be back?” You asked, your voice wobbling.

Mr. Jeon gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Probably in a few hours, get some rest. I’ll stay until he comes back, okay?”

—

You could hear his voice in the sea of sleep, his warmth enveloping you and holding you close.

“Did she wake up at all?” You could hear Jungkook’s exhaustion, he likely wasn’t gone long enough to get a full night's rest.

“She did, but it wasn’t for long,” a nurse said.

“D-Did she ask for anything? Anyone?” He said, looking at you.

He was still bone tired, but he only let himself sleep for a few hours. What if you needed him? What if the hospital called and you-

“Kook…?” Your voice was scratchy you noticed, making you clear your throat before opening your eyes.

Jungkook stood frozen in the room. As if waiting for you to send him away, waiting for you to yell at him. But all you could do was reach, begging him to come closer.

He didn’t make you wait, moving forward quickly as he wrapped his arms around you. “Fuck, Y/N,” he said, voice strained with worry. “Never fucking do that again, I thought you’d died,” he croaked, kissing your head briefly, he winced when he pulled away because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do that... He just did it without thinking, oh God what if-

“I-I’m sorry,” you whispered, burying your face in his shoulder.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, moving back to look at your face. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I was a bad friend and got you into this mess,” he frowned.

“It’s not your fault I don’t know when I’m sick,” you said with a soft smile.

“Y/N…”

You shook your head, bringing him back in for another hug. Jungkook sighed, resting against you lightly, allowing himself to feel at ease for the first time in months.

Mr. Jeon walked in, knocking on the door before Yeri and Yoongi both walked in behind him.

“Y/N!!” Yeri cried, rushing forward. Jungkook stepped aside for a moment so she could squeeze you. “Jesus I saw your missed calls and when an older man answered your phone I got so worried,” she said. “But it turns out Mr. Jeon is pretty alright,” she said with a kind smile.

“Alright, move over Yeri,” Yoongi chuckled, giving you a gentle hug as well.

The two started chatting with you, asking about things that Jungkook didn’t know about.

Your new semester has started and he wasn’t privy to your schedule anymore. So he stood back, letting your friends speak and make you feel better. Even though he was desperate to do it himself.

Mr. Jeon watched as his son left the room, walking down the hall with his head hung low. He sighed, sending a quick glance your way. You were speaking to your friends but your eyes were still trying to find Jungkook after he’d left the room. Mr. Jeon gave you a nod before following him.

“Jungkook, son,” he called, jogging down the hallway to grab him.

“Her friends are here, she doesn’t need me anymore… Did we pay for the expenses? If not let me do it,” Jungkook said, grabbing his wallet out when his dad stopped him.

“Son, why are you running away from her?” He asked softly.

Jungkook tensed up, biting his lip as he struggled to keep his composure. “Because… her friends are there, the ones who always chose her. The ones who didn’t forget her, the ones who prioritized her… the ones who deserve her,” he whispered.

“Jungkook…” his father said, his tone gentle. “People make mistakes, people learn and they grow. You may not have been deserving of her friendship a few months ago… but now you might be able to ask her if maybe-maybe she’d like to try again,” he offered.

“What if she says no?” He whimpered. “I can’t keep letting her go, it hurts too much,” he said.

His dad brought him in for a tight hug, patting his back a few times to ease his cries. “Then you’ll respect her decision, but something tells me this time apart was just as hard on her as it was for you,” he stated.

Jungkook nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes before he looked back towards your room. You were laughing with Yeri, Yoongi scowling but not in an angry way.

Yours and Jungkook’s dynamic had always been complex but it had never been hard.

He waited patiently in the hall until Yoongi and Yeri left. Not without looking at Jungkook. Yeri stopped and waved at him, Yoongi gave him a nod before leading her back down the hall.

Jungkook stood and walked back to your room. He waited by the door, standing there as he looked at you. “Hi…” he said, looking down at his feet for a moment.

You looked at him. He was clearly tired, his shoulders slumped forward.

“Hi,” you said softly. “You can come in Jungkook.”

He stood still, taking a few deep breaths before walking in and standing next to your bed.

He’d been crying…

“The doctor said that once your fever comes down they’ll send you home,” he said, voice quiet.

“Yeah? That’s good then, right? Yeri said she’d get notes for me for some of our classes at least,” you stated.

Jungkook nodded and the room went quiet. It was awkward how the silence hung between you two when it was usually nonexistent.

But Jungkook didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do to make things okay again. Where did he start?

“Kook…?” You asked, looking at his spaced out expression. His eyes snapped to yours as he seemed to be spiraling. “Hey, do you need a hug?” You asked, already reaching for him.

You didn’t even realize you were doing it. Your body knew his ques and tells so well at this point. He was fiddling with his sleeves, and he couldn’t hold your gaze too long.

He was nervous, almost scared.

But he was also weak. Weak for you and your affection. So he moved to accept your embrace, hugging you tightly. His head slotted where it always did, right in your neck. He sighed shakily, like this was almost painful for him.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay, Jungkook?” You asked, voice tender. You were talking like you always did.

The memory of your red eyes and raw throat once you yelled at him in his apartment haunted him. So to hear your normal voice, not one filled with tears or booze or anger… just you…

Jungkook choked on a sob, winding his arms around you tighter, leaning into your touch like he was used to. Finally allowing himself to feel your embrace.

Even if it would be the last time you’d let him.

“Jungkook…? Please talk to me, what’s wrong?” You asked, running your fingers over his brows, gently sweeping your thumb along his jawline.

Tracing his features like you always do.

“I fucking miss you,” he cried into your skin, holding you closer still.

He didn’t add any kind of grand gesture to his words, he didn’t try to coat them in flowers or barbs or whatever. It was just the plain and simple truth.

The painful truth.

He misses you, he misses showing up on your doorstep with your favorite takeout. He misses texting you cute pictures of Bam and receiving your classic, ‘he’s a mama’s boy!’ text. He misses the simplicity of your relationship, how easy it was to be just Jungkook and Y/N. You’d never asked him to be more or less.

You only ever asked him to be himself, to be genuine and authentic with you.

Your throat clenched at his broken voice, the way his body shook as he tried to pull you as close as the bed and equipment would allow.

You felt the warmth of his tears on your neck, making you tear up as well. You’d imagined it wouldn’t be easy for him. But Jungkook was always the more sensitive one, contrary to popular belief. He was very tender hearted and soft, he just wanted love.

And you were his person for years and years. His comfort, his rock, his support, his home.

And to suddenly be ripped away from you, especially when he knew it was his fault. It hurt all the worse. He’d beaten himself up over the last months, he’d been mean and judgmental towards himself and his work even.

His father had been so worried he’d almost called you a few times. Because he didn’t listen to anyone the way he listened to you.

“I miss you too.”

Your words hung in the air, causing Jungkook to freeze. He pulled back from you, eyes red and full of tears. “Y-You miss me? Even if I-”

“Kook,” you stopped him, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. “I called you, twice. I called you two times after not speaking to you for months and you came. Both times. You were there when I needed you, you made it up to me. This is me forgiving you,” you said, giving him your classic smile.

His heart ached.

He doesn't deserve it!

He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness… your friendship. Certainly not your love, no matter how badly he wants them.

He doesn’t deserve you.

“I-I can’t…” he whimpered, head dropping forward in shame.

“You can, kookie, you can,” you promised. “And I’ll be here to help you.”

—

It was your discharge day only a couple days later. You’d responded well to the fluids and medicine and were ready to go home!

“Bug! You almost ready?” Jungkook called, standing outside the bathroom. Yeri had run to your apartment to get you some clothes to get comfy in.

Jungkook had pitched a fit about you being alone while taking all this medicine. Even though it was only for a few more days.

So you were staying with him for the weekend.

Jungkook and you were good. Better than ever really. You both apologized, him a little more than he needed to but you understood. He was worried, he didn’t want to overstep or make you upset.

But, there was something he was hiding.

You could tell something was up.

He had that look on his face. The look of ‘this is my innocuous face nothing suspicious here promise’ written all over his features. But you couldn’t possibly figure out what was going on.

“So, the fiancé isn’t going to be mad that I’m staying with you?” You asked, already wanting to shove your foot in your mouth for asking such a stupid question.

You’d managed to ignore the incoming fiancé bomb for the most part but the thoughts were eating you alive so you just… damn.

“Ah… yeah, we’re not together anymore,” he sighed.

“B-But! You got engaged like two weeks ago?!”

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. “Ah, she had to pull out. Her girlfriend wanted to try again and she didn’t want to give up on her just yet,” he offered. “We’re still making a deal just not as intricate as before,” he said.

You swallowed thickly at this information.

Why did this information of his relationship status throw you for such a loop. You were ready to be disappointed.

But here you were.

Single.

And here Jungkook was.

Single.

For some reason it felt different than before. There was a period of time when Jungkook had girlfriends, one night stands and other exploratory things going on in his sex life-and that was fine. Normal and such.

But you’d been a late bloomer, only getting your first boyfriend at around twenty. He’d taken your virginity and then you’d both drifted apart as people do.

After that you’d not done much in regards to relationships outside your platonic ones.

Of course being hung up on your best friend did that.

So… what do you do now?

“Bug? Come on honey, let’s get you out of here. Bammie is going to be so excited to see his mommy!” He said with his adorable scrunched face.

“Yeah? Maybe we can stop so I can pick him out a new toy, huh?” You suggested, opening the door to the bathroom and handing him the gown to put in the bin across the room.

He did so without question, coming back to hand you your coat. “Can you walk or do you want to ride in a wheelchair?” He asked, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

Your heart stammered at his proximity.

Shit…

Being away from him for months had worn down those defenses you'd built so carefully growing up.

Jungkook was handsome. Physically painful to witness at times, chest twinges weren’t uncommon.

Lower twinges as well…

The thought made your cheeks burn and eyes turn slightly shifty as Jungkook watched your thoughts and feelings flit across your features like they always do.

“You're thinking about something, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asked.

You nodded quickly, giving him an easy smile. “Yes Kook, I’m good. But I want you to push me in the wheelchair, just don’t run me into the wall like you did after I got my wisdom teeth out,” you laughed.

He gave an indignant pout, eyes looking challenged. “Hey! You weren’t sitting still! You almost fell onto the floor,” he complained.

“I was high off of anesthesia! What did you think was gonna happen?” You laughed heartily.

Jungkook’s eyes got glossy again.

You’d noticed he’d look at you for a minute sometimes, almost getting lost in thought. When you’d treat him like you always did, his features relaxed. Almost in… relief?

It was the tone of your voice. The pitch of your laughter.

Jungkook couldn’t help it. Everything you did endeared him more and more.

He’d always known you were lovely. Soft, sweet and beautiful.

You were loving and gentle, and Jungkook appreciated you so very much. Most people knew him as the golden boy. His fathers pride and joy and a charmer that made his mother blush in joy. But you knew him as Jungkook, always as himself. His truest self.

There was no pretense.

Things between the two of you were easy, natural. Jungkook didn’t have to think around you, because even if he didn’t make sense you understood him enough to not be scared away by his awkwardness at times, or his obsession with things that weren’t the norm for guys his age.

(The banana milk, the marvel figurines and many more occupy your mind with a sweet hint of nostalgia for the man in front of you, unbeknownst to that very person).

“I promise I’ll drive carefully, if you promise to ride carefully, huh?” He offered.

You snorted before giving a nod as he brought the chair to you.

Jungkook held the handles as you gently lowered down into the chair. He’d done this for you several times over again in your life. Whether it was for your wisdom teeth or to remove that piece of glass from your foot.

He’d always been right behind you. Loving you and supporting you with his gentle warmth that could turn into a fire if left unattended by your watchful rationality.

Jungkook was your best friend.

He’d always been since the day you met.

“Alright, hold on tight!”

You smiled softly as he guided you out of the hospital, down the halls and onto the elevators.

He had all the nurses swooning with the way he was looking at you. They all watched with the same fond expression.

However you both remained oblivious to them, far too wrapped up in your teasing conversation.

Your normal.

Finally, you made it out front with Naomi giving you a tight squeeze.

“Ahh! You look skinny! You need to eat more, I’ll have to make you some kimchi jjigae huh?” She teased, giving your cheeks a good natured smoosh.

“Stob it!” You whined, cheeks squished making your words come out funny enough to make Jungkook’s heart throb.

“Sorry, sorry Princess,” she soothed, smoothing her hands over your hair and giving you another small hug before getting the door for Jungkook and yourself.

Jungkook helped you up as Naomi went to put the chair back.

You both got in the car and Naomi shut the partition.

You sighed in relief as you pulled away from the hospital. The buildings gave you horrible anxiety, and Jungkook knew this as his hand rubbed your thigh comfortingly.

“You okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Just the usual, kook. Hospitals still freak me out, they probably always will in a way,” you sighed.

“I get it,” he promised, kissing your head and giving your shoulder a squeeze before his phone rang.

“Shit, it’s mom, hold on,” he said, answering it shortly after.

You nodded, looking out the window and watched the city pass by. You still felt Jungkook’s hand in yours though, warm and soft.

As always.

—

Jungkook was still sour as he sat on the couch as you cooed and guffawed at his dog. Who had, rather rudely in fact, blew right past him to land square at your feet with the sweetest eyes he’d had in months

“Tsk, damned traitor,” he growled, trying to fight the jealousy that his dog was right where he wanted to be.

Your lap.

Bam and him had been at war for the prized spot of your soft and supple thighs that were utterly perfect pillows.

Jungkook can’t remember how many times he’d fallen asleep on your legs, it’s been far far too many to count.

Although, his dog currently blocking him from increasing those stats was making him ridiculously jealous.

You could see it too, because you smirked when Bam started snoring. Jungkook hardly ever had the heart to wake the pup once he was out like this.

However, you weren’t sure it was applicable tonight.

“Bug…”

“Yes?” You asked, scratching Bams tummy softly. You’d just taken your medicine a while ago and you were getting a little sleepy.

“I think Bam has to go potty.”

“Jungkook, he's sleeping.”

He huffed, annoyed at your lack of attention. “H-He’ll need to go when he gets up, he’s had trouble with not peeing before I get up.”

“Alright, wake him up then,” you said, giving him a pointed look.

“I can’t Y/N-”

You rolled your eyes and patted Bam on the rear. He snorted and woke himself up with a jolt. A soft peel of laughter came from you at his goofy expression.

“Come on Bammie, we need to go potty then we need to go to bed,” Jungkook called softly, standing and walking towards the door.

“Gonna take him outside?” You asked, knowing he had space on his balcony that he could use but Bam often liked going for a little wander before his end of evening potty.

“Yeah, head to bed, I’ll be there soon,” he said.

Your heart thudded dangerously.

Fuck…

This whole day, this entire time since he’d picked you up at the bar your heart has been yearning for him.

This isn’t the soft crush you’d parted with…

It was turning into genuine love, and it certainly didn’t feel platonic.

Head to bed, I’ll be there soon…

“Is the guest room not ready?” You asked, voice light but there was a slight waver in your tone.

Jungkook turned with a confused expression. “No? I didn’t think we’d need it, my beds big enough yeah?”

Thump…

Thump…

“Okay, do you still-”

“Pink toothbrush, your toothpaste is still in the drawer with mine,” he said, pulling on his shoes.

You felt emotion clog your throat, making you nod as he walked out with Bam in tow. A few stray tears fell down your cheeks before you wiped them away.

He still has my toothpaste, he got me a new toothbrush…

All of these things were mundane, even expected in a sense. But, your chest fluttered all the same.

You hurried to his room, smiling at the fact he’d even gotten a few of your skincare products out. Your heart squeezed when you realized they were new, he’d remembered all of them.

Brushing your teeth and climbing into bed felt like a dream. The sheets were soft and smelt nice, like they always did.

And you fell asleep, only barely waking to a soft voice telling you to go back to bed.

“Sleep bug, I’m right here.”

—

Heat.

Sweltering heat.

That is how sleeping with Jungkook normally went. He was a fucking furnace, even if all he slept in was a pair of boxers!

But you woke to push some of the blankets off, shifting with some difficulty as Jungkook’s arms were like iron fucking bars around your waist.

His hands settled on your lower stomach. You swallowed hard as you tried to not think about it too much.

After winding down and managing to breathe without feeling like you're burning alive.

That’s when you felt it.

You shifted your hips slightly just to confirm your suspicions and to your utter disbelief you were correct.

Your best friend.

Your sweet Jungkook had a boner, a quite impressive one, and it was pressed firmly against your ass.

Death was imminent.

Your mind was running three thousand miles a minute. What do you do?!

You and Jungkook have slept together in the same bed multiple times, but usually Jungkook doesn’t cuddle much. And if he does you manage to wiggle out before this situation happens.

Also, you tended to sleep like the dead. Just another thing you and Jungkook shared. Although you were fairly certain that he was the heavier sleeper of the pair of you.

His hands tightened around your stomach as he pressed further into your body. His head fell into the crook of your shoulder and neck. He sighed softly, his breaths panting against your skin and causing goosebumps to run along your flesh.

“Y/N...” he drawled, clearly still asleep. His voice was deep and raspy, making your thighs clench unintentionally which caused your hips to rut backwards just a touch. But Jungkook made a soft pant in your ear that had wetness collecting in your panties to your shock.

Not that you hadn’t left this room in search of some extra underwear before...

Jungkook shifted towards you with a grunt, nestling into your neck and shoulder to the point he was damn near wrapped around you.

And that certainly didn’t help the morning wood that had found an apparently pleasing spot right on your ass cheeks. You didn’t want to embarrass him by waking him up...

But this was going to melt your brain if you continued any longer. “Kook,” you mumbled, tugging on his wrists. “Wake up.”

“Mmm,” he sighed, staying firmly in place.

“Jungkook, get up,” you said, pushing back with your hips.

A soft moan escaped him as you wriggled around. You felt him roll his hips forward in response, causing your breath to catch in your throat. Causing a stupid and loud spluttering cough to fall from your lips.

Jungkook startled awake at your jolting and loud hacking.

“Bug? Whas’ wrong?” he slurred, trying to sit up so you could breathe.

“Jungkook-bathroom,” you pointed.

He tilted his head in confusion, before he looked down and his face turned beet red.

“O-oh! Y/N, I-I’m sorry I-I didn’t mean to-uh... It’s kinda just a thing, but I can understand it’s uncomfortable-”

“Jungkook.”

“Yes.”

“It’s okay, I know how penises work. Just go cool off in the shower so I can get my blood pressure back to a normal level please?” you asked, keeping your head down.

Jungkook shuffled off the bed awkwardly and tried to hide himself best he could. You tried to steady your breathing as you felt your heart hammering far too quickly inside your chest.

Holy shit...

What is one supposed to do when you’re so turned on by your best friend you aren’t sure how to breathe?

You heard the shower turn on and you were snapped out of your horny stupor.

Jesus...

You weren’t normally so... feral about all of this. Had being away from him really done this to you? Your heart ached to be close, to hold him tightly and keep him with you... But, you just got back to being friends-

But, how long until you couldn’t bury the frustration and anger anymore? How long would you have to bottle up the scarily not platonic feelings swirling in your chest.

Why was your heart still racing so fast?

Your chest hurts.

Oh fuck-

That night burns hot in your mind. Him forgetting, you leaving.

It had been so hard to walk away. You were devestated for days. Yoongi had to come and force feed you. He’d threatened to call Jungkook if you didn’t delete his number. But you couldn’t…

The little picture you used as his icon made the deep agony in your heart ease for just a moment.

But the anger-

You slapped him.

Oh God, why do you want to burst into tears? What is this ache right in the base of your throat...? You want to cry, but you want to apologize more.

With a gentle cry you jumped out of the bed and scrambled like some stupid love-drunk idiot.

Jungkook may have been wrong first.

But you were wrong too.

You’d hurt him too.

By not staying, by not fighting for your friendship. By not at least giving him a chance to explain himself. To apologize. To try.

And... And for not being honest with not only him... But yourself.

Fuck... you’re so sorry-

“Kook!” you cried, falling through the bathroom door. Jungkook jumped as he stood there in his pajama pants and nothing else.

“Bug?! What’s wrong? Y/N, jesus fuck what-”

“Jungkook I’m so sorry I love you!”

Your throat ached with how much you were crying.

The dam of him being gone-had burst. The pain you’d felt being away from him.

You thought you could ignore the guilt that was eating you alive. You could just move on, you’d both learned and wanted to do better. So why dwell on that deep piercing ache in your stomach?

Because hurting the people you love hurts you just as much.

Because not acknowledging your wrongs and burying the guilt only makes it fester.

“I missed you so much! I love you so much and I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t try!” you wailed, holding onto him tightly as the rest of you trembled.

“Y/N, baby, shh, honey breathe,” Jungkook tried to soothe you. Your hands were ice cold on his upper back and shoulders and he was worried you’d worked yourself up into an anxiety attack. He pet the back of your head, gently kissing your temple as he rocked the two of you as you’d collapsed onto the floor.

“Koo, m’so sorry!” you mumbled against his shoulder.

You were shaking like a leaf, you could barely hold onto him.

“Y/N, princess,” he called softly. “Please look at me, baby, look at me, hey,” he said, moving you back by your head gently. He smoothed his thumbs over your puffy, tear stained cheeks and he tilted his head and gave you a soft smile. “What’s wrong huh?”

Your eyes welled up again and Jungkook shushed you, pressing his forehead on yours. Shrinking your world down to just you and him. His warmth and strong hands cradling your neck. “Easy. Y/N, I don’t know what’s got you so worked up but you need to calm down just a bit. You’re shaking honey.”

“I-I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffled pathetically, holding his wrists tightly.

“You keep saying that, what do you have to be sorry for Bug? You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, voice soft and slow.

“I left you,” you cried. “I was so worried about my own feelings and how much I didn’t like that you had a fiance that-” you hiccuped and squeezed his shoulders, trying to ground yourself. “That was everything I’m not and... and when you supposedly forgot me because of her I lost it and I fucked up... I shouldn’t have blamed you for me not being honest.”

Jungkook blinked slowly, swallowing hard as he tried to understand what you were saying to him.

“Y/N...” he said softly, brushing your hair from your face. “What are you trying to tell me, huh?”

Your stomach almost fell into the floor and your heart clenched painfully at the idea of fessing up. But you’d basically said it at this point. You say it all the time...

I love you.

So simple in theory right?

But in many cultures, tone and phrasing are everything.

But, why is it so hard to make that simple flip?

“Jungkook...”

His eyes shone in the glittering light of the morning flooding in through the bathroom.

“Jungkook I...”

His hand tightened around your waist.

“I love y-”

You didn’t even get to finish your words before his lips were covering yours. His hands holding your face as he kissed you desperately. Like he’d been craving to do it for years.

“Me too,” he gasped, moving back to kiss you again.

“Koo-mh!” you were promptly cut off.

“Shut up for a second and let me kiss you-before I either get slapped again or I take you on this bathroom floor,” he growled as he pulled you in again.

You helplessly wrapped your arms around his neck, relaxing in his hold as best you could with your heart still struggling to catch up. You still had tears on your cheeks and your knees were wobbling and sore from the tile floor.

But you’d pass out before you let him go first.

Jungkook finally managed to pull away from you for a moment. “I didn’t get slapped,” he breathed against your lips harshly.

“No... You didn’t,” you said, resting against him.

“So... what does that mean Y/N? I don’t want to make this awkward or weird but... but I can’t kiss you like that and not want more...”

With hot cheeks you tugged him back to your lips. “Me either,” you whispered, cradling his neck.

“Y/N, I really do love you... I want you to be mine,” he said, holding you by the waist.

Your eyes got big as you looked into his. They were warm, like always. He wasn’t hiding anything, he was being vulnerable. He was being himself.

Because you made it so easy for him to do.

“As long as you’re mine too,” you sighed, resting against him in exhaustion. Your body was dropping from the adrenaline rush you’d had from your near panic attack and impromptu emotional breakthrough.

“Sleepy Bug,” he chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get you back to bed and when you get up later we can talk more. But, you’re mine, Bug... And I’m yours.”

Hearing those words you fell into slumber against his warm chest, only briefly feeling the bed underneath you once more before sleep swallowed you whole.

--

Dating Jungkook was surprisingly the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

He was kind, he was loving and he was honest. It’s been a great few months. His parents both were thrilled to hear the news and fully supported the both of you.

Life was good.

You’d never felt like this before, this amount of joy and happiness suffused through your being. You were happy being best friends, but this just felt like a natural progression. Being together was always easy, almost innate in a way.

And tonight, you wanted to be together in a different way...

You and Jungkook had kept it fairly PG-13 for the most part. You both wanted to get comfortable with the new part of your relationship first before you added any intimacy. There was no rush, you had time to come together like that.

You had Yeri over one night, and chaos was inevitable.

The two of you loved to drink wine and fool around and just make merry (ruckus).

Hoseok had even joined a few times, as Yeri’s potential boyfriend. They hadn’t made anything official yet, but they’d been out several times since your night at the bar.

Currently, Yeri was cooing over pictures of Bam in your phone.

“God that damn dog is so cute,” she sighed in disdain, bigger dogs sometimes frightened her but you had been coaxing her out of that mindset with adorable pictures of Bam.

“The next one is him in those pajamas. Jungkook wanted to burn them the second I laid eyes on them,” you snorted.

“Oh my God that’s-oh... That’s not a cute dog, however it is a very nice set of lingerie Y/N~” Yeri giggled, showing you the picture she’d stumbled upon.

You in the set you’d purchased after one of these very wine drunk evenings with Yeri.

It wasn’t anything crazy. Just a navy colored babydoll with matching panties. You’d taken a few pictures of yourself in the full length mirror in your room and had admired your body in the alluring fabric.

“Ah-sorry,” you flushed, taking your phone to find the actual picture you’d been talking about.

“No apology needed, I love that color on you! Such a nice set too! What did Jungkook think, hm?” she teased.

That’s when you felt your face heat up exponentially.

“You look constipated, what’s wrong? Are you gonna puke?” she stressed, moving to grab the garbage when you shook your head.

“No no, I’m good. It’s just... We haven’t had sex yet,” you said softly. “We wanted to figure out our dynamic first before we started becoming intimate. I have barely had sex, I’m practically a virgin, and he wants it to be meaningful.”

“It’ll be meaningful because it’s you two,” Yeri said with kind eyes. “I understand wanting to make it feel important, but... You don’t need crazy expensive or lavish things to have good intimacy, although it can be fun to incorporate,” she teased.

Your heart clenched at those words and you nodded with a small smile.

“You’re right Yeri,” you said. “I think it’s something I want to talk about more in our relationship, especially lately. I think we could take that step now. Of course I don’t want to rush him or anything-”

“Y/N,” Yeri sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “That man loves you so much I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep him away from you as long as you have. I bet you, you send him a single picture of you in lingerie and you will be trapped in either this room or that fancy penthouse for three business days.”

A choked noise of shock came from you as you scrambled to respond.

“H-He’s not an animal Yeri! He-”

“Because he hasn’t been given the green light to let out the inner beast,” she said with a mischievous grin.

“That’s never a good look to see on your face,” you sighed, now it was your turn to pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

“I bet you two drinks at the bar next time we go, that if you send a racy picture your man will be calling within fifteen minutes to confirm your dick appointment,” she said.

“Yeri!”

“Hell, if you send them I will definitely buy the first two rounds of drinks next time,” she said. “Cause you’re too chicken to send them.”

You blanched at her, unimpressed with her childish tactics to wind you up.

Your wine addled brain was sobering, your last glass having been over an hour ago.

It was almost midnight, and Hoseok would no doubt be by soon to grab Yeri bringing your social plans for the evening to a close.

Why not?

Why not send a sexy picture to your even sexier boyfriend?

“Fine! I’ll grab my favorite set and send him a picture,” you promise.

“Fifteen minutes, set a timer.”

--

Hoseok arrived roughly half an hour later and you gave Yeri a tight squeeze before she leaned against the taller man as he guided her safely to his car. With a kind smile and wave they drove off.

You felt your phone buzz in your pajama shorts pocket and you looked and smiled to see a picture of Bam curled up on the couch with your favorite blanket snoozing happily.

Kook ❤️: he misses his mommy 🥺🥺

Y/N: how can he miss me if he’s asleep??

Kook ❤️: happens to me all the time. Miss you in my sleep. Miss you when I wake up alone, miss you when I see my dog sleeping in your blanket.

Y/N: *our

Kook ❤️: can I send a driver for you? Come stay with me tonight.

You chuckled and then sent a quick glance to your underwear drawer.

Y/N: I’m already in my pajamas

Kook ❤️: perfect, you’ll be ready for immediate cuddles when you get here

Y/N: these are new pajamas

You got up and grabbed the only other set of lingerie you had. A soft black cotton robe with a nice set of bra and panties that were a rich wine color. It seemed oddly fitting.

Without much thought you pulled them on and looked at your frame in the mirror before you heard your phone buzzing again.

Kook ❤️: new? Is that a reason to not come over??

Kook ❤️: if you’re worried bam will ruin them I’ll put him in his kennel before you get here?

Kook ❤️: baby?? Pleaseeeee

Y/N: sorry, I had to pee

Kook ❤️: please come over 🥺🥺🥺

Y/N: do you want to see?

Why was your boyfriend such a simp?

He was making seducing him so difficult.

You adored the man more than you could put into words but goodness he was persistent when he wanted something.

Kook ❤️: see what??

You tugged the robe open just a touch and revealed the deep burgundy bra that had your cleavage revealed just enough to be tantalizing.

Without giving yourself enough time to panic you snapped the picture of you on your knees in front of the mirror.

Using your last ounce of wine courage you hit send.

Timer Set: 15:00 minutes

Y/N: jpeg.9102

Seen

Oh Jesus.

What if he doesn’t like it?

You were about to scramble to cover your ass when your phone started ringing. You were so nervous you damn near launched the thing across the room in shock when you managed to answer it, you heard panting like someone was running.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?”

Jungkook’s rough voice filled your ears.

“I’m at home you weirdo, why are you-”

“You need to tell me right now if this means what I think it does because if not I don’t want to seem like an idiot... I legit ran down to my car, because if you want me there I’m coming right now. And I’m not going to let you sleep,” he growled.

Your thighs clenched at the aggressive sound from him. “I-I sent it because I wanted you to see, I-I wanted to show you I was ready,” you said, voice weak but needy.

“Then you sit on your bed and wait for me, I will be there in ten minutes-”

“Jungkook, you live almost halfway across the city it’s almost one in the morning baby-”

“Ten minutes,” he promised before hanging up.

You looked at your phone and paused your timer.

Time Remaining: 9:39 minutes

You sent a quick text to Yeri.

Y/N: Please wait to hear from me in approximately three business days...

✨Yeri✨: be safe, get that dick 👀👀👀

You went to brush your teeth and comb your hair when you heard your front door open and shut. Just as you turned around Jungkook was dropping his jacket in your bedroom as he shouldered his way into your small bathroom and pulled you in for a searing kiss.

With a soft yelp of surprise you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him kiss you with as much passion as he wanted. You returned it in kind. Jungkook wound his arms around your waist, hands gripping your robe and cupping the base of your spine as he backed you up against the counter.

“Baby,” you whispered against his lips as he pulled back for a split second to change the position of his head.

“You can’t attack me like that, no sudden provocative photos, my heart and dick almost exploded,” he said, kissing you again, the last of his sentence spoken into your own mouth.

You chuckled at his eagerness as he held you in his arms.

“Up on the counter,” he breathed, grabbing your thighs and practically dead lifting you onto the vanity and capturing your lips before your squeal could wake the entire apartment complex.

Thankfully, your apartment was at the end of the hall, and your neighbor was known to rarely be home.

But really you couldn’t care less, your boyfriend’s tongue was wicked and hot and currently working its way into your mouth. Jungkook grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him as he kissed you like it was his sole purpose in this life. Tongue swiping along yours before he nipped at your already swollen and pouty lower lip.

“Fuck... fuck I’m so hard,” he panted, resting his forehead against yours as he breathed heavily. You smoothed your hands over his shoulders and watched as they rose and fell in quick succession in time with his labored breaths.

“Yeah?” you whispered, voice stolen by his kiss.

“Baby you really have no idea,” he said, locking eyes with you as he cradled your neck. “I’m literally ready to fuck you stupid, but... But I want it to be special and-”

“Anything I do with you is special, Kook,” you said, cupping his cheek and giving him a sweet grin. “I love you.”

His eyes melted into a softer expression. “I love you too,” he said, kissing you much gentler than before, leaving sweet and soft kisses along your cheeks and planting one last firm one on your lips. “So, you want to do this?”

You nodded quickly, feeling the slickness in your panties becoming uncomfortable fast. “Yes, I want you,” you said.

Jungkook nodded and connected your lips again. “Do you want to use condoms or not?”

“No, I have the implant and I trust you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Give me everything, baby, I want all of you.”

He connected your mouths again in a desperate and messy kiss, pulling you in and helping you off the counter before he picked you up and had you wrap your legs around his small waist. You squeaked as he held you under your ass as he navigated the short jaunt back to your bed. You held his jaw as you kissed him more, threading your fingers into his thick hair at the base of his head.

With a happy sigh he sat down on your bed and you settled your knees on either side of his thighs. Your center was placed directly above his straining cock. Your hips jolted forwards just a touch at the sensation of his denim pants rubbing against your sensitive core.

“Ngh~ Jungkook,” you whimpered, kissing along his jaw and sucking tender marks into his skin. “Want to feel you, please,” you pouted.

With a smirk he fell back, laying flat against the bed and you fell over him, hands just above his shoulders as you crouched above his frame.

“Go ahead then, you can touch me wherever you want,” he said, a smug look on his face.

You bit your lip and looked at his shirt buttons. The top few were undone, no doubt from him lounging at home. With eager hands you planted your hips right on his lap causing him to huff in momentary bliss. You loosened the buttons and tugged the fabric from his pants and managed to toss the infernal thing onto your floor to be promptly forgotten.

You smoothed your hands over his stomach and chest, smiling before connecting your lips to his skin in tentative, wet kisses.

Jungkook sighed, bringing his hand to your cheek as goosebumps rose over his skin as you placed your lips along his stomach and up to his chest. You didn’t have a lot of experience, but you just wanted to appreciate him.

Your heart hammered against your chest as you brought your lips to his throat and neck. Your hand ran up his peck and you brushed your thumb across his nipple with heat settled in your face. Jungkook, however, was eager for any and all of your affection.

“Shit... such a good girl,” he breathed, heart thrumming in his chest rapidly.

Your thoughts wandered briefly at his reaction to your thumb on his nipple, you wondered if he’d ever be into clamps-

“Baby~” Jungkook whined softly at your lack of movement. “Don’t tease me, I can’t handle it right now,” he groaned.

“C-Can I suck on them?” you asked, thumb still caressing his tender and pebbled nub.

Jungkook swallowed hard as a pretty blush rose to his cheeks, the expression on his face as he nodded at you with a furrowed brow.

Slowly, you lathed your tongue across his pec before finding his nipple. Jungkook’s hips jolted at your soft and wet tongue swirling around his sensitive skin. And the growl he let out was pure sin, causing your thighs to clench instinctively.

“You have such a sweet little mouth,” he sighed, cradling your jaw as he tossed his head back in pleasure. You moved to the other nipple, sucking and nipping softly at his flushed flesh.

“Kook,” you purred against his skin, sucking a harsh love bite into his skin right after.

His hips kicked up again at the sharp pain of your teeth, but he moaned softly at your tender licks and kisses right after. Only to nip at him once more.

“Careful baby, you keep that up and I’m not gonna last,” he panted, blowing some of his hair out of his face.

“Feels good?” you asked, unintentionally rocking your hips as you sat up.

Jungkook gripped your waist, holding you still and you felt his cock throbbing through his fucking jeans. You weren’t sure if that was possible. Maybe it was your own needy core pulsing for him.

“S-Stop wriggling, if you grind on me one more time I’m gonna rip these stupid panties off and shove my cock in your pussy now,” he snarled, eyes shut tight.

His threatening tone made you clench hard. Your panties were ruined, probably beyond salvaging.

It was for a good cause.

“Want your cock in my pussy anyways,” you smirked, ready to roll your hips against his once more. Jungkook pressed his thumbs against your lower stomach as he grit his teeth.

“Baby, I’m trying really hard not to fuck you stupid on this bed right now. I’m ready to Edward in Twilight this bed I swear to fucking god-”

You snorted at his hilarity, before shifting your hips once more. Jungkook’s eyes snapped to you and he grinned. “Be that way.”

With a squeal you felt yourself being pitched backwards. You scrambled to grab onto Jungkook to avoid being literally yeeted off your own bed.

But, with the strength of some supernatural creature he managed to catch you and almost slam you underneath him.

His biceps were toned and strong above you, his scent fresh and calming in your nose. You looked up and saw his eyes boring into your own. They were just as bright as they always have been, but there was a depth you hadn’t seen before.

The longing that he held in his eyes was intense, causing your legs to squirm under him. Jungkook hooked his fingers into your panties and looked at you with the same intensity, but raised a brow.

Do you want to stop?

You shook your head and lifted your hips to help him ease the fabric off your legs.

Your bravado was slowly draining, the look in your boyfriend's eyes disabling you for a moment. He looked starving. You watched his expression simmer into barely constrained lust. His palms were smooth on your thighs, making your legs tremble in desire. His jaw clenched tightly, lip between his teeth as he tried to keep himself from shoving inside you without any prep.

But fuck...

Your pussy already had him weak.

Sweet lips that were puffy and eager, covered in your slick and Jungkook’s cock ached at the thought of getting to go in bare. He lowered himself down between your legs to place a sweet kiss on your core. You gasped softly at the sensation before looking at him with your pretty eyes.

“You okay, Y/N? Not too much?” he asked.

“N-No you’re okay I’ve just... I haven't done much,” you breathed. Jungkook nodded slowly, moving forward to connect your lips together.

“That’s okay, you tell me what feels good and we’ll go from there, yeah?” he asked, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your thighs.

You nodded with a smile, bringing him in for another hot kiss. Jungkook moaned against your lips as he cupped your sex. “So wet for me honey,” he cooed. You tugged your shirt and bra off in quick succession, almost getting tangled in them both but Jungkook was focused on an entirely different part of you.

With hungry eyes he moved in on your core once more. You gasped when his tongue met your wetness, and he moaned in bliss when he tasted your flavor flooding his mouth. “Fuck... fuck... Y/N, baby,” he sighed, licking firmly against your pulsing cunt.

“J-Jungkook,” you hiccuped in pleasure. “Please, more...”

His eyes connected with yours briefly before he grabbed your thighs and started to eat you out like a man possessed. You’d never felt pleasure this aching and desperate. Like everything he was doing was too much and yet not enough.

Jungkook was thoroughly fucked in almost every sense of the word. His heart hammered in his chest as he ate his best friend and beautiful girlfriend out. Everything about you had him practically hypnotized. He’d never felt so turned on.

The pair of you whined and groaned as he continued to pleasure you with his devilishly sweet lips.

He moved from your entrance to your clit and alternated his pressure, causing your mind to swirl in hypersensitive pleasure. But it was... so fucking good...

“K-Kook! B-Baby! M’gonna cum! Please... please let me cum,” you cried, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists as he plunged two fingers into your entrance.

A sharp whine fell from your lips as you clamped down on his fingers while he worked you up to your peak of bliss.

“Then cum for me honey... Let me see you cum for me, wanna make you cream my face,” he growled deep in his chest.

With a glance at his face you felt your stomach clench hard due to his eagerness. You were worried he’d not be interested in this part of sex, but you loved him so much you weren’t honestly concerned about not enjoying sex with him.

However, just like always, Jungkook surprised you.

He almost seemed to get off on your pleasure, it wasn’t a chore to work you up like you’d worried about. And with the way he was rutting against the mattress you were wondering who was enjoying it more to be honest.

Then, he hooked his fingers up, pushing against your sweet spot.

After being held on the edge for so long... you were thrown off the cliff into your orgasm.

“Fuck! Jungkook! Fuck, fuck!”

You could hardly think of words to express your pleasure, let alone anything coherent.

Jungkook was encouraging you softly as he eased you through your pleasure. “My good girl, give it to me baby,” he purred, cleaning your center softly as you came down from your peak.

“Holy shit,” you panted, quickly bringing him up from your center to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, mingling the flavor of you with his own distinct taste.

“You look so fucking pretty when you cum baby, I want to see you do it over and over again,” he groaned, cradling your face while you exchanged hot kisses.

After a while you started to run your hands down his stomach and to the waistband of his pants. He separated your kiss to look at you with a soft expression. “Want me?” he asked, his thumb running across your cheek with tender eyes.

You gave him a sweet smile and kissed him again. “Yes Jungkook,” you breathed against his lips. “I’m yours...”

He didn’t need any more encouragement from you, pulling his jeans off quickly and tossing them on the floor before you carefully put your hand inside his boxers. You could feel your hearts beating wildly inside your chests. Jungkook looked at you with hunger but love mixed in his eyes.

You felt yourself become more and more confident when you touched him, and also in being touched. It can be a hard thing to share your body with a person. But with Jungkook, everything has always been so natural and easy.

This was proving to be no different.

His hand fell over yours and gently guided you to squeeze and apply gentle pressure to his aching cock. His head tipped back as he let out soft puffs of air.

“F-Fuck, please Y/N, I’m aching baby, I need to put it in you,” he whined.

The sound of his pleading did something to you, causing more slick to leak from your core. To be wanting in such a deep way had your heart ready to fly away if your ribcage wasn’t there to stop it.

“Then put it in, want you,” you said, cheeks hot from all the intensity of your exchange.

Jungkook pushed his boxers off, revealing his cock to you and causing your eyes to widen. He wasn’t extremely massive. But he was definitely larger than the previous dick you’d experimented with. He led your hand to him, gently stroking his length with your soft hand and he sighed in pleasure.

“Feels so good baby, so hard for you,” he said, his eyebrow furrowed as he tried desperately to keep his composure.

You couldn’t believe you were here in this moment. With the person you loved more than anything, ready to share the last part of yourself with him. It made you emotional for a moment.

“Kiss me,” you pleaded.

Jungkook’s ears perked at your weaker tone, but when he saw the look in your eyes he knew you were just emotional. He gave you a small but sweet smile.

“Of course, Y/N, love kissing you,” he purred, placing little pecks around your shoulders and neck. Finally connecting your lips in a hot kiss.

His hand moved away from yours but you kept your hand on his cock and gave him a few tentative tugs. Jungkook bucked his hips forwards at the sensation rising up his spine and flooding his lower stomach. He’d been hard for so long he was worried he wasn’t going to last long. But something told him no matter the time, this was going to be special.

Just because it was you two.

“Okay, okay I’m ready baby,” you said.

Jungkook nodded, adjusting the two of you on the bed. He put a pillow behind your head and lifted your leg into the hook of one of his elbows.

He ran his cock against your slick folds to test your wetness, and to no surprise you were still soaked.

“Good baby, so wet for me... fuck,” he breathed. “Deep breath, relax for me Y/N, if it hurts just tell me, okay?”

You nodded, hand settling on his biceps. Jungkook gave you one more look for reassurance but you squeezed his arms in confirmation before he pushed in slowly.

A gasp ripped from your throat as he entered you. You breathed slowly and deeply as he carefully seated himself inside you. You gripped his shoulders and pulled him in for another kiss when he finally slid home.

He kissed you softly, giving tender nips and wet pecks to your neck and jaw.

“Good girl, fucking so hot and wet on my cock... fuck-fuck Y/N,” he moaned into your neck.

You didn’t even have words to describe how good he felt. It was as if this was always meant to happen, like you and him were always going to end up here at this moment.

“Kook~” you mewled, biting your lip as he gave you a moment to adjust.

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asked, smoothing his thumb over your cheek.

“N-No... just full!” you whined, the pleasure of him being inside of you finally settling in. “You can move baby, please fuck me...”

Jungkook didn’t need to be told twice, starting an easy rhythm that had the two of you sighing in bliss. With a deft movement Jungkook hooked both of your knees around the crook of his elbows as he started to build a steady pace that had your stomach clenching in pleasure.

“So good baby, so good,” he panted, rolling his hips against yours with purpose.

You moved your hands down to his lower stomach as he steadily quickened his thrusts inside of you. With needy whines you let him guide you through this experience. His eyes were locked on yours while he drove home inside you each time.

“Kook! Fuck,” you cried, head falling back against the pillow.

“Right here Y/N,” he called softly, his voice slightly breathless now that he’d been fucking you. “Fuck... you’re soaking my cock baby. Look so pretty letting me fuck you like this.”

He adjusted your legs so you were laying to one side, your legs pressed together as he held your hips to thrust into you faster.

“F-Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer,” he grit his teeth.

The new position had you speechless.

He felt so thick inside you, pounding against your walls as more and more slick leaked from you. You could feel it on your legs. And the deep throbbing ache inside you was looming over your head as he continued to fuck you senseless.

“Me too!” you whined, reaching for his wrists as he kept his brutal pace on you.

“Gonna cum for me again? Please cum for me baby, need to see you,” he begged, panting harshly at the sheer need swirling in his stomach. “Gonna let me cum inside? Let me fill up your sweet cunt baby?”

You nodded, a bobble head effect to your features as you watched him with watery eyes. The pleasure was rushing up your neck and seemingly scrambling what was left of the brains he hadn’t fucked out of you yet.

“Inside, Jungkook! Need it!” you sobbed, pleasure suffusing every ounce of you as you felt yourself crash over the edge into another-intense-orgasm.

Jungkook wasn’t far behind you, the hot rush of euphoria flooding his spine as he came hard inside of you. He rutted a few more times while growling deep in his throat. You felt so good on his cock and he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have you this way.

Especially after everything you’d been through together.

But that’s what made it even better in his mind.

He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here.

You both let your breaths even out until he was pulling from your core slowly, watching with lustful eyes as his cum slowly dribbled from your puffy pussy.

Jungkook kissed you then, surprisingly soft and tender as he felt his heart beat even out into the gentle flutter it usually was with you around. He smiled against your lips as you kissed him back.

“I love you so much, Y/N, more than anything...” he whispered.

“I love you too, Jungkook,” you said.

“You’re my best friend, and the best girlfriend, you make me so happy...” he trailed off.

Usually Jungkook was affectionate, but sometimes he got this emotional spurt where he just gushed about how lucky he was. And how much he loved you.

It was sweet and endearing, and you were similarly affected.

“You’re my best friend too. And the best boyfriend,” you said, a cheeky smile working its way onto your face.

Jungkook’s features lit up at your statement. He leaned down once more, pulling you close as the pair of you kissed again.

The night was dragging on, but inside your little apartment you knew that Jungkook would always choose you.

And you would choose him.

Always.

[illneverrecover]

god dammit i like it (M) | changkyun

➛pairing: Im Changkyun (I.M.) x reader ➛genre: card shark/gambling Changkyun, cocktail server reader, poker!AU, hurt/comfort, smut, angst, fluff (in that order). ➛word count: 9005 (oof) ➛rating: M ➛warnings: excessive alcohol use, cursing, dirty talk, very very soft femdomme energy, oral sex (female and male receiving), changkyun begging, unprotected sex, creampie, cock warming, very brief mentions of blood, more soft clown changkyun. ➛summary: One last game, he tells himself. Just one last game, and he'll have enough money to take care of you the way you deserve, to show you how much you mean to him, to give you the life that you want... as long as he doesn't get caught. ➛notes: My second time writing Changkyun and as always, it's for the one and only @taetaesbaebaepsae. She had commissioned me (back when I still did those) to write something based on the God Damn MV, and then patiently waited for me to get my life together. I thoroughly enjoy creating new ways to hurt you with your ult bias, so I hope you enjoy this one! I did edit this one, but just barely, so please be gentle with me. Let me know what you think! ➛song: God Damn - I.M | Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo (Hippie Sabotage Remix) ➛tagging: @taetaesbaebaepsae @lvupmushroom @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife - thank you for letting me use your likeness for this, and for looking it over to make sure it would truly hurt Kristy's feelings. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, bbs.

He’s an idiot, but you already knew that. 

The alcohol in his gut sloshes as he moves to stand, his glass painfully empty. Changkyun stumbles towards the bar, the thrumming in his head keeping pace with the bass thumping through the speakers of the club. 

His eyes are glassy, faraway when he reaches his destination, the cup fumbling out of his grasp as he indicates to the bartender he wants another. The bartender looks him over, seemingly debating on following through with the request, but he turns to grab the bottle of whisky regardless. 

Changkyun hates it. Hates that he’s so drunk, that you’re not here, that the guy serving him thinks he’s a mess. He knows he’s an idiot, that he should stop. Put down the glass and pick up his phone. That he should just call you and tell you he’s sorry for being such a moron all the time, and that he’ll listen to you from now on. That he does love you, and wants to take care of you, and he can fucking prove it, if you’ll let him.

But then he recalls the look in your eyes when you caught him – the disappointment, the pain – and he reaches for his now refilled glass, taking a swig before facing back towards the club. 

He doesn’t deserve it – doesn’t deserve you, to provide for you, to do any of it. Not when he’s such a jealous asshole, not when he’s such a fuck up. You deserve the world. Someone who can really give you what you need. 

Fuck, he wants to be that. There’s some moments when things are good, when you’re tucked into his arms in bed, sleeping softly beside him that he thinks he might be that – someone who can provide, be reliable, strong. But then he remembers your fights; his words of jealousy and anger, his avoidant nonchalant fake ass attitude, his fragile little ego shattering with a flick of your eyebrow and a sharp word. 

So he leaves his phone in his pocket, instead slinking back towards his booth before dropping into it. It was easy to ignore his friends’ questions, to insist that he was fine, to pretend to be more interested in the tray of shots being dropped off at the table. He accepted the small glass, slamming it down before he could think about the burn, about the empty churning in his stomach.

 It was easy to ignore his friends, but damn, Changkyun was tired of pretending he wasn’t fucking exhausted of trying to be okay without you. 

It had always been push and pull with him.

From the minute Changkyun had walked into Yvonne’s, the lounge where you worked, you could feel the snap of electricity, the buzz of magnetism that pulled you to him. He would’ve stood out from his clothing alone; his lithe form draped in a bright red perfectly cut suit, shirtless under the vest to show off his tanned, broad chest. The combination of cut and color was lethal on him and he knew it, his dark hair swept back to allow the full potency of his sharp gaze. The group of men he was with were also impeccably dressed and attractive, but there was something about him that had your eyes following him, unable to look away.

Luckily for you, he had seemed to feel the same way.

His friends had gone to sit at the Baccarat table in Kat’s section, but he had stayed behind, noting which tables your body was sliding between as you delivered drinks before he made his selection at the blackjack table at the end of your section.

He couldn’t keep his gaze off of you, ordering more drinks than he was actually playing cards you were certain, but you weren’t going to stop a paying customer. The table he was at was pretty low stakes overall; the crowd was a bunch of casual players, but he had enough money to keep up with the table, so they were willing to ignore his flirting. 

You were also trying to ignore it, playing into him enough to ensure your tip would be secure, but also knowing that this was likely all just fun for the rudely handsome stranger. And if there is one thing you enjoy doing, it’s having a little fun – especially while at work.

But there was something in the way he looked at you, the way that he spoke to you, that had you hanging on a bit more than you’d care to admit. You wanted to tell yourself it was just the fact that he looked like that in that suit – that his tattoos and cocky smirk on top of it all was just too  much for you – but you knew it was more than that. 

It was when you were dropping off his umpteenth cocktail that he finally made a move, his tattooed hand wrapping around your wrist to stop you and slide a piece of paper into your palm. 

“When do you get off?”

You smirked, trying to ignore the sudden rush of blood in your veins at his skin touching yours. “Why? Who wants to know?” 

His face deadpanned, his mouth dropping to a pout, and the juxtaposition of such a cute expression on such a lethal man made you laugh.

“I don’t even know your name,” you clarified, pulling away from his grip and tucking the paper into your apron.

“You could call me whatever you wanted,” he replies, voice low, glare fixed on you, “but others call me Changkyun.” 

The same things that had drawn you to him also made you roll your eyes, his cockiness frustrating just as much as it was attractive. He insisted on waiting until you had finished your shift, ensuring that you  made it safely to your car before reminding you about the paper tucked into your apron pocket. 

“It has my phone number on it so you can text me and let me know what time you want me to pick you up tomorrow.” He had murmured, his face so close to yours that you had forgotten to breathe. 

“Pick me up, hmm? Well aren’t we feeling awfully sure of ourselves,” you replied in a shaky breath, hating how much he was affecting you.  “What are you picking me up for?”

“I was hoping to take you on a date, but if you have things you need to do - errands, work - that’s fine with me too. Just let me take care of you.” 

It was as easy as that, the way he slid into your life. You hadn’t believed the offer, not really, but decided to text him anyway. You had some things to do before your shift, why use your gas when you could waste his?

But Changkyun was effortless, showing up in gray sweats and a black t shirt promptly at the time you requested, ready to chauffeur you all over town. He kept up with your teasing about his sad fuckboy music he was listening to, and let you mess around with his AC without complaint, like he had been doing it for a hundred years. 

Maybe that’s how he broke your walls down – acting so nonchalant, while also being dependable, always showing up when and how he said he would, always ready with an easy smile and a light joke. 

It could have been days, maybe weeks, but it didn’t take long for you to realize you wouldn’t be able to stay away from him. That you didn’t think you wanted to. 

Which was a complete contradiction to what you had told him – that you weren’t interested in anything serious, but if he played his cards right, you could be convinced for an evening of fun. An offer he had declined, telling you that he would wait until you changed your mind and wanted him fully. An answer that had infuriated you to no end, but one that felt inevitable. 

It was the 14th or 15th day of hanging out that he finally said the words, putting the feelings out into the space between you. His “I love you” came out rushed, as if the words had pained him, but the flush of his cheeks and shimmering soft eyes had you cracking, reaching for him to smash your mouth into his own. 

The kiss was unlike anything you had ever felt; the intense rush of heat nearly choking you when his tongue traced the seam of your lips, seeking entrance. He groaned when you had opened, the feeling of his tongue on yours sending the kiss deeper, starved for each other. He tasted like whisky mixed with the faint hint of gummy bears he was always snacking on, and you were drunk on his mouth, drunk on him. You don’t even remember if you had said the words back, the volatile energy between you now snapped and now your full focus until it was fully satiated. 

Changkyun slotted into your life like he had always been there. The familiarity of it soothed you, brought you a deep peace that you didn’t know you needed – but there was the other side of you, the one that had never allowed anyone to get this close, that was terrified of what this would mean. That knew letting someone in also gave them the power to break you. 

It was always a push and a pull with him, an intoxicating desire to give in, to let your heart find a home with him – mixed with the fear that eventually, that home would be ripped away. 

“Fuck,” Changkyun cursed, and your fingers tangled in the hair at his nape, tugging. 

“No marks,” you reminded him, though you would be lying if you said you didn’t love the feel of his mouth at your throat. His tongue was laving at the junction of your skin between neck and collar bone, suckling it between his teeth before soothing it with sloppy kisses.

You had been pressed against the wall of your apartment, him latched to you like a man starving until you had coaxed him down the hall towards your bedroom, letting him push you down onto the bed before resuming his work on your neck.

“Mmm,” he acknowledged, though he didn't stop his ministrations. “I wish I could mark you up, make sure everyone at Yvonne’s knows who you come home to.”

You had let out a breathy giggle, eyes rolling though he couldn’t see it. His silly jealousy over the stares you got while working at the lounge was just that - silly, nothing of merit - and yet, you couldn’t help but play into it just a little bit.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” you whispered, using your hand in his hair to guide him to your mouth, only stopping his descent when he was a breath away. 

“Don’t play games, sweetheart,” Changkyun leaned forward, nipping at your bottom lip, and your grip deepened. “We both know I’m the only one you’d let stick around this long.”

He was right about that. 

Closing the distance, you melted your mouth into his, letting him take control of the kiss for just a moment before you tug at his head once more, dragging him down your body. He complied quickly, pressing small kisses into your flesh as you guided him lower. 

“I don’t know,” you breathed, eyes hazy as Changkyun settled between your thighs, a groan leaving his throat when he saw you had forgone any kind of underwear beneath your skirt. “That one guy at table 7 was tipping really well, I bet I could-”

Your words were choked off with a moan as Changkyun dragged his tongue from the bottom of your cunt to your aching clit, giving it a singular swirl with the offending muscle before pulling back. 

“What was that?” he asked, but he didn't wait for a reply, not before delving back between your legs. He lapped at your center, taking his time tasting you before he settled up near your clit, sucking it between his lips. 

Any retort you had been working on died as he made quick work of you, sucking and licking until you were bucking up into his face, both hands tugging at his hair to hold him in place. He had become pliant beneath you, molding himself just where you needed in order to push you over the edge. Just when you felt like you couldn’t take any more, that you were going to snap, Changkyun slid two fingers inside of you, curling them upwards. 

“Please, come for me, sweetheart,” he begged, murmuring against the heat of your flesh. “I want it so bad.” 

His words were your undoing, and you find yourself doing exactly as he asked, moaning out his name as he takes you over the edge, his mouth and fingers working you through it in tandem. 

You exploded, white bursting behind your eyelids until you were boneless, unable to do anything but ride out your orgasm at the will of the man in front of you. Changkyun made sure to taste every drop of your release, slowly sliding his hand away from you only to quickly replace it with his tongue to lap at you until you were shoving him away. 

You wanted to make him feel as good as you did in that moment, wanted to return the favor, so you pushed him off of you and onto his back, switching positions to settle between his legs.

Hands tugging at his boxer briefs, Changkyun complied to your silent request, lifting his hips until you could drag them off. You were quick to palm his erection in your hand and squeeze, relishing in the hiss he rewarded you with, your thighs squeezing together. 

“Please,” he groaned, and fuck did he beg so prettily. “I just want to be inside you already, let me be inside you, yeah?”

Teasing the head of his cock with your lips, you hummed, playing as if you were considering his words. The truth was, having a beautiful man like him pleading you for anything was your kryptonite, and you would give him anything he asked for as long as he sounded like that.

Taking a final swipe of your tongue over his sensitive flesh, you gave him a smirk, moving until you straddled him, hovering for just a moment. Grasping his length, you line him up with your dripping cunt, sinking onto him slowly, tortuously. 

You may be giving him what he had asked for, but only because you wanted to, because you had deemed it aligned with your desires. Changkyun gave you full control over your pleasure, and you took it greedily. 

Once fully seated, you moaned, hips beginning to undulate and swirl against his. Pressing your palms into his chest, you began to work yourself over him, sliding back and forth until you were panting, thighs burning. 

His eyes searched yours, waiting for permission before he did anything more than take what you were giving him. “Fuck me, Changkyun,” you gasped, voice teetering into a whine. “Wanna come on your cock.”

Changkyun didn’t need to be told twice, didn’t need any more instruction before he was thrusting up into you, pelvis meeting yours. His hands tugged you down until your chest was flush with his own, his mouth seeking yours and coaxing it into a filthy kiss. 

“Fuck, yes, please come on my cock,” he rasped against your lips, his pupils blown as they make contact with yours. His gaze was intense, searing, but you couldn’t look away, didn’t want to. You wanted to be engulfed; consumed by him. “Use me, baby.”

Slamming down onto him, your pace began to turn frantic as he matched you thrust for thrust, each connection against your tender clit sending you further into oblivion. 

“You feel so good, Kyun,” you praised him, adjusting until your face was pressed to his neck. “So good for me, so perfect.” 

His answering moan reverberated in your chest, his arms tightening around you as his pace turned punishing, and it drove you crazy how something as simple as your words has him frenzied, falling apart beneath you.

Drunk on the power, you felt yourself hurtling towards your climax, nails digging into the skin on his back as he relentlessly slammed up into you. “Fuck, yes,” you cried, letting yourself go, giving in until you were over the edge, orgasm overtaking your senses. 

It was too much for Changkyun; the way your scent was all around him, intoxicating him, the way you were moaning curses and his name, the way you were clenching so fucking tightly against his cock. Before he could stop himself he was chasing his high right alongside you, shuddering as he pumped his release deep, unable to still his hips even when you were mewling from the sensitivity. 

Panting heavily against each other, you had tried to pull away only for Changkyun to roll you beneath him, pinning you under his weight. He was still fully lodged inside you, face nuzzled into the curve of your neck, his breath warm against your still sweaty-from-sex skin. 

“What are you doing, Kyun?” you chuffed, making a feeble attempt to lift his weight before letting him resettle against you. It was all for show, the response he expected from you. The truth was  you didn’t mind it - the feeling of him still inside you, the familiarity of his lips on your skin, the intimacy of it all - you didn’t mind it if it was with him. 

“Just let me hold you like this for a bit, hmm?” he mumbled against your neck, and you hummed your agreement, letting your eyes fall closed. He pressed a few lazy kisses to your throat before his breathing became measured, even, and you decided joining him in slumber wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Promise me,” you murmured, voice thick and lazy. You were still naked and draped across his chest, listening to the calming beat of his heart. You had already woken and showered, deciding that clothes weren’t necessary before jumping back into bed together. That was several hours ago now. The smoke coming from his cigarette was curling up towards the ceiling, leaving a dreamy haze in the room. 

“I’d promise you anything,” he replied quickly, taking a drag, “but what specifically am I promising you this time, sweetheart?” 

“No more going to Kihyun’s high roller floors, Kyun. I know the pots are bigger, but you don’t know those men at those tables - not like I do.” You paused then, taking a shaky inhale. 

Being in your line of work, you were no stranger to dangerous men, however you purposefully stayed away from serving on those floors of the lounge for a reason. Those men were the worst of the worst, and even if they weren’t, they rubbed elbows and served those who were. Either way, the money may be sweet, but the risk wasn’t worth it. You made better than you ever had at the lounge with the sections you served,  and that was fine with you. 

But Changkyun had always wanted more. 

Ever since you had told him about your lofty dreams - the ones that you had saved for yourself in the darkest parts of the night, when your mind was racing and you couldn’t sleep - he hadn’t let them go. Truthfully, you always loved the idea of retiring your waitressing shoes and being able to finally write full time, working on the novel you’ve been imagining for years in some quiet home somewhere, tucked away from the world. But it broke you to see Changkyun willing to risk his life to see it come true by hanging around that crowd, placing higher and higher bets at Yvonne’s most hazardous tables. 

It was strange for you to accept that he would even want to do this for you, to support you in this way, but he always knew how to soothe those concerns, promising you that he genuinely wanted to care for you before gently ribbing you to stop being so damn stubborn. 

However, it was his stubbornness that had been creating a wedge between you. 

“They’re bad people, Changkyun. And I don’t mean like - scamming old ladies for their pension money bad, either. I mean like extremely shady dealings with people who are involved with things that would get them sent to prison, bad.” 

His free hand fell to your head then, smoothing your hair back as he took another puff of his cigarette. 

“I know they are. I’m only just polite enough for the rules of the game, I never engage with them more than that. I’m not there for friends or connections, just the money.” He took a final pull before dropping the spent butt in the ashtray on the bedside table, his other hand moving to rest over the one you had placed on his heart.

“I get that, but it doesn’t take much to get on their bad side. It could be the slightest thing. Sometimes, just winning is all it takes.” 

He sighed, but let the silence linger, instead letting himself get lost in stroking your hair softly. You were about to say something again, to make sure he had heard you, when he finally spoke. 

“I just want to take care of you, you know?” His voice was low, thick with emotion, though he tried to swallow it back. “Give you what you deserve.” 

That pain came back, the one deep in your chest, and you sat up to face him. “I know that. But I already have everything that I need, right here.” 

You tap his chest once, twice - his hand still firmly resting on top of your own. 

He met your gaze, giving you a small, cocky smirk, as if his eyes weren’t shiny with unshed tears. “What, you mean this hot body?” 

You scoffed, eyes rolling. Maybe you should’ve called him out on his side stepping, forcing him to vocalize that look he had been giving you, but instead you fell back into step with your teasing. It was, after all, the familiar dance between you two. 

“No, stupid. I meant you - you’re all I need. The rest of this shit is just noise.” 

“I bet I can make you make some noise–”

“Changkyun–”

“Okay okay,” he laughed as your soft touch turned into pointed jabs into his chest, sitting up to wrap his arms around you and stop your onslaught. “I hear you, sweetheart. You’re right. I’ll stay away,” he said, pulling you up and back until you’re leaning against his chest, arms still wrapped tight around you.

“Promise me?” This time when you say it, you made sure your eyes were locked on his, made sure the fear you felt was evident behind the words. 

“I promise.” 

It felt like a sign from the universe. Well, either that, or a promise from the devil.

But sometimes, those can look the same. 

The posting for Kihyun’s upcoming game had just gone up, but it was already making the rounds. Games like these were advertised in a certain way - you had to know where to find it in order to play, and the regular gamblers all knew the common message boards to keep an eye on. Changkyun hadn’t been looking for it, wasn’t even checking the forums anymore – but had gotten a text about it from Joohoney, a screenshot of the flyer accompanying his message of “Bro, did you see this shit??” 

A high stakes game, in two nights. The winning pot large enough that he would be able to retire you permanently, and he wouldn’t be too far behind you, honestly. You were already off work that night, plans in place for a girls night with Kat and a few of the other servers, so you wouldn’t be at Yvonne’s. 

It would just be one last time.

One last game, and with enough luck, he could finally give you the life that you’ve always wanted, provide for you in the way a man should.  Sure, you wouldn’t like it – the idea of him going to the tables again –  but that was only if you found out, and the chances of that were slim.

He could win the money and set it aside, give himself a week or two of regular games to make it seem a bit more feasible. A few days of being off your feet and back on your laptop would have you forgetting about work anyway, and the top floor of Yvonne’s would fade quickly away from your memory. 

It had to be a sign. He could do it, could pull it off, could be the man that you deserve. 

His fingers hovered over his phone, the reply ready to be sent to Joohoney. It would be just as easy to delete it, to tell him that he’s done with that shit. To text his best friend back and tell him that he can’t, because he told you he would walk away and stay away from those men. Joohoney might give him some shit, but he would understand, likely wouldn’t push the matter. 

But the money…

It didn’t take long for Changkyun to do the math; it would take months at the regular tables to get this kind of money, and that’s only if he kept winning. Which didn’t seem like long in the grand scheme of things, but when he thought of how your eyes lit up at the idea of writing full time, made it seem like it was centuries. 

You wouldn’t have to know. It would just be one last time. 

He pressed send on the text, foot tapping nervously until he saw the read receipt pop up under his message. 

“I’m in - one last game.”

You were mad at him again, but your friends didn’t need to know that. 

All they needed to know was that you were in the mood for a girls night out, and if they knew what was good for them, they’d be there in their sluttiest outfit ready to indulge with you. 

However, it only took you ordering the second round of shots to have Bri’s questioning stare fixed on your own.

“So, what did he do this time?” she deadpanned, sipping from her straw. 

“What? Who? I don’t know what you speak of,” you replied. “I’m just enjoying a night out with my friends.” 

“Sure, okay,” Kat nodded, giving a convincing performance of someone who actually believed your nonsense. “If he didn’t do anything, then why isn’t he here, buying us all drinks?”

She had you there. Changkyun was always wanting to show up on your nights out – not to crash them, but so that you and your friends could enjoy your time without having to worry about a single thing. He covered the tabs, made sure everyone was having fun, and ensured each person got home safely – all while staying tucked away at a nearby table until you needed him, never putting too much pressure on you. 

It had pissed you off the first time he had suggested it, but after he showed you what he meant, showed you how he could be supportive in the shadows while still letting you shine, you had slowly given in. Part of you loved being able to enjoy yourself with your friends while knowing he was always looking out, even if he wasn’t directly visible. 

“Maybe he’s busy.”

Twin glares pinned you to your seat, and you allowed several beats of the bass blaring in the speakers to pass before caving. 

“Okay, fine, yes. We’re having a slight disagreement,” you conceded with a sniff, “over something that happened at work.”

“Wait a minute - is this about what happened with Vanda?” Kat questioned, mentioning the newest server at the lounge. She had only started a few weeks prior, but had been making a lot of work for you - constantly acting like she knew what she was doing in front of management, only to flounder and follow you and the senior staff around asking a million questions the minute they weren’t on the floor. 

It wasn’t her confidence in her lacking serving skills that had bothered you, not really. It was more so how the minute she did get called out on a mistake, she was quick to try to throw you and your friends - the same people who had just been helping her ass - under the bus. 

You had told Changkyun about an incident earlier in the week of this exact scenario – she was flirting with another customer instead of checking on the tables in her section, and a patron of hers ended up getting up to go to the bar to order a drink. It wouldn’t have been a huge deal, mistakes happen after all, except she had immediately told the manager on duty that you had promised to cover that table. Which was news to you.

“Are you serious? After all the help you’ve given her?” Changkyun had shook his head, irritation evident in his voice. “Did you tell the manager the truth? Who was on?”

You had smothered a smile at the question, trying and failing to hide how much you loved him wanting to know more about your life. 

“It was Amy, and yeah, I told her. She believed me, but still. I don’t get it, I’ve never done anything to that girl.”

“Want me to show up to Yvonne’s and request her section with the guys, give her some shit? You know how annoying I can be when I want to,” he offered, brows raised in a teasing lilt, but you could tell by the line of his mouth that he meant it. 

“Yes, I do know how truly annoying you can be. It’s almost like a super power.”

He grinned then, a full one, and you wanted to kiss his stupid mouth. 

“But no, it’s fine. I got this. I know how to handle people like this, and having anyone else fight the battle for me will only make her more bold about it.” This wasn’t your first rodeo, after all - you had been serving a long time, and doing luxury serving at Yvonne’s for even longer than Vanda had been out of diapers. If there was one thing you knew how to do, it was handle people. 

But did Changkyun listen to you?

Well no, of course not. 

He did exactly as he had threatened - showed up the following day with his full group of rowdy friends, sitting in her section and dedicated to being the most obnoxious people Vanda dealt with all night. They didn’t do anything harassing or illegal, just toed the line of being pretentious drunk pricks gambling and drinking – sending back drinks for being made incorrectly, asking for complicated cocktails and shots, requesting a rundown of the entire menu before telling her they were no longer hungry.

Kat and Bri had found it hilarious, stating that your boyfriend’s malicious compliance of the rules while still making Vanda run around so much she was pouring sweat was truly an artform. And there was a tiny piece of you, deep in your soul, that was pleased at the lengths he was willing to go for you. 

But you were also pissed, because you had been exactly right. It did nothing to stop Vanda from sending bullshit your way; if anything, it had spurred her on, the following shift of yours even more annoying and mind numbing after hours of her questions and subtle sabotage.  

“Yes, it’s about what happened with Vanda! I told him to let me handle it, and he didn’t listen. I know he meant well, I get that, but still. He didn’t listen.” You had known his heart was in the right place - you hadn’t questioned that. But it didn’t negate the fact that it made you feel so small when he didn’t listen to your requests. 

“I thought that was hilarious,” Bri said, arm reaching out for another shot glass. She had one already prepped in front of her, but preferred taking her shots two at a time. “But I get it. Vanda’s been worse since.”

“I can handle Vanda, I don’t really care about that. But it feels like our fights are usually because he just doesn’t listen to what I’m telling him. It’s like he thinks he knows better than me.” 

Deep down, you know he didn’t mean it in this way, but it was like he didn’t trust you - your judgment, your read on the situation, whatever it is – and that hurt, especially when you had worked so hard to open up that piece of yourself to him. 

“And I know that I’m not always right, and it’s not like I don’t want to hear his opinions, but I don’t like the choice being taken from me. Or worse, dangled in front of me like he’s going to consider my feelings, only to have him do whatever.” 

Downing her two shots in rapid succession, Bri shook her head, reaching for her chaser before speaking. “I think that’s part of the problem, he thinks he is considering your feelings. He thinks he’s standing up for you and fighting for you. He thinks he’s taking some of that burden off your plate.” 

“I don’t need, I mean, I don’t-”

“When is the last time you let anyone fight a battle for you?” Kat interrupted, elbows leaning on the table to make direct eye contact with you. “You tell everyone that you got it, that you can handle it. And we’ve seen you do it, so it’s not that we don’t believe you. But sometimes, we want to help you, for no other reason than we love you. And we can.” 

The direct read into your defenses had your throat tightening, and you blinked back the tears that threatened to form and ruin your makeup. 

“He should listen and take your feelings into consideration, absolutely,” Kat continued, voice gentle, “but also, you should let him support you and help more. I think if you let him be there for you in smaller ways, he wouldn’t feel the need to be the knight in shining armor so much.” 

There was a lot of wisdom in your friend's words, and you had taken a moment of silence to chew on it, to let it sink in. 

“He really loves you, you know that, right? So stop being a dumb bitch about it,” Bri deadpanned, but her expression was soft, “and let him love you. And you know I say that with affection.”

“I know,” you said, nodding at your friends. As much as it wasn’t easy to admit, they had a point, which also meant that maybe Changkyun did, as well. “Thank you both, seriously.” 

It had only taken one text message, a quick “This tab isn’t going to pay itself” with a kissing emoji to have him showing up at the bar, settling into a table a few down from your own with a wink and a sly smirk, where he proceeded to wait out the evening, taking care of you and your friends as always when the time came. 

“I’m still annoyed with you,” you had panted against his mouth when you got home, letting him push you up against the wall and cage you in with his arms. He was on you like a starved man, and it had made your buzz intensify, making you drunk on him, his kiss. 

“Of course, I understand,” he mumbled, words barely intelligible in the urgency of his lips. 

You had to fight to pull away, using one hand on the base of his throat to push him back for a moment to catch your breath. 

“But, also, thank you. For what you did with Vanda. And for always wanting to protect me.”

If Changkyun noticed how soft your voice got, he didn’t say anything, instead leaning down to press his forehead against yours. You could tell he was going to say something – probably something devastatingly sweet – and you needed to finish what you were going to say, before the bravery lost you. 

“I’m not used to having someone who wants to fight with me, or for me, you know.” 

“I know,” he replied in a rush, like he had already known your confession, knew what you were going to say long before the words had formed.  “I know, and I also shouldn’t be an ass and push all the time. But I will always protect you, yeah?” 

Nodding, you fought back tears for the second time that evening, but this time you didn’t shy away from letting him see the emotion in your face. 

“You’re mine, and I will always fight for you, sweetheart.” 

This time when he kissed you, it was slow, purposeful, heated. Like he was going to  make sure you felt and wanted for nothing other than him, his touch, and that you could allow yourself to fall into him forever and would always have a safe place to land. 

Maybe it wasn’t so bad, to be vulnerable with someone, to let them in, if you could feel like this. 

Or maybe it wasn’t so bad, only because it was Changkyun. 

Tonight was the night, and everything was in place.

So why did Changkyun feel a ball of anxiety forming in the base of his gut?

Everything had been going according to the plan so far, not that there was much of a plan for any of this. It mostly relied on you and your friends being away from Yvonne’s for the night, which was easy enough since you were all off on the same evening. A rarity that you all were going to take advantage of, and had planned for movie night with drinks and sushi take out over at Kat’s place, an event that was common enough that Changkyun knew it usually ended in a sleepover. 

He had dropped you off an hour prior, kissing you gently and shouting a greeting down the hall to the girls before heading back to the car, ignoring the feeling of guilt roiling in his stomach. He had just kept reminding himself that he was doing this for you, doing this so he could support you and give you the life that you deserved. 

It was one last time, one last game. 

But that pit didn’t dissipate as the evening went on, not even when he met with Joohoney who had insisted he take a shot when they arrived at Yvonne’s to help with his nerves. It had burned his esophagus, blurring the edges of his tension a bit, enough that he felt confident walking through the lounge next to his friend.. 

“You good?” Joohoney asked, slapping a hand on his shoulder. 

Changkyun nodded. “Yeah, just really wanna win some money, you know?” 

Joohoney had given him an understanding grin before guiding him past the tables in the lower section of Yvonne’s towards the stairs leading up to the high roller tables. 

“It's our lucky night, Kyun,” Joohoney said, pausing in front of the door leading to where the game was about to begin. Through the heavily frosted glass, Changkyun could see several bodies already seated at the few VIP tables, and he felt his pulse spike.  “We’re going to win.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The sleepover at Kat’s had been just the reset you needed. 

A night of screaming at the television, drinking cocktails and eating your bodyweight in sushi with your friends was healing in more ways than one, and you had left the next morning feeling lighter and more content than you remembered in a while. 

 It was surprising to find your apartment dark and quiet when you returned, as you had assumed Changkyun would be there waiting for you, like he always was. You had given him a key long ago, figuring there was no point in pretending like he didn’t spend all of his free time glued to your side, but not fully ready to give up the independence of living alone quite yet. 

Sending him a quick text, you let him know that you’re home and about to catch up on sleep before your shift later. He replies quickly that he had fallen asleep at his place after a late night with Joohoney, but that he would be there once you got off work. 

Nothing had felt out of the ordinary, and you felt energized enough from your nap to get ready quickly, getting to work much earlier than you normally would for a shift.

You should’ve known something was up the minute you walked into work and saw that Vanda had a shit eating grin on her face.

She kept sneaking side glances, watching you with a scrutiny that made you uneasy. She’s normally more obvious in her attempts to annoy you, and her passive aggressiveness is setting your teeth on edge. 

After the third glare and giggle on your way to drop off more drinks, you decide you’re going to confront her and ask her what her deal is, when she beats you to it.

“Did you have fun last night?” Vanda questions, a stupid smirk on her face. 

“Why do you care?”

“Seemed like Changkyun did,” she continued, like you hadn’t asked a question. Your stomach dropped.

Raising a brow, you wait for her to go on, not wanting to give her any more satisfaction. She clearly knew something that you didn’t, and she was already well aware of that fact. 

“How much did he actually end up winning last night? I mean, him and Joohoney were upstairs until last call, and he seemed pretty happy when he left.”

Instantly, your throat tightens, unease now unfurled into full blown anxiety. He was here last night? If he was here last night, and with Joohoney upstairs, no less…

“I didn’t manage to hear how much he won, just that Changkyun shouldn’t worry, because you would never find out.”

It was enough. You had heard enough. 

It was surprising how quickly you switched into autopilot, spinning on your heel and striding out of the room before your throat tightens, before your vision fully blurs. Vanda says something more behind you, a lilt of concern in her voice, but you can’t hear her, not anymore. 

 Your mind quiets as your body takes control, moving you to find your manager to tell her that you need to leave, before grabbing your purse and coat, and leaving the lounge. Turning towards your apartment, your rage fuels your step, gut churning with the betrayal of knowing the only reason why Changkyun would be upstairs at Yvonne’s last night, why he would be leaving looking so pleased with himself. 

The wind bit at your face, chapping your lips,  but you didn’t care; needing the night air in your lungs and for the anger to be burned out in your movement before seeing him. 

Because once you walked out your anger and faced the betrayal, you would need to deal with the deep seated fear for Changkyun’s safety, and how the hell you would be able to protect him now. 

Changkyun wasn’t expecting you so early when you barged into the apartment, and the mix of confusion and excitement quickly bled away once he saw the look on your face. 

He strides towards you, grabbing your shoulders, concern knitting his brow. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Blinking, you allow yourself a moment to stare at him, to drink in his full mouth and stupid handsome face, before you swallow around the knot in your throat. 

“Tell me it isn’t true, Changkyun.” 

You hate how your voice sounds; weak and strained and like you’re just bone deep tired, defeated. Maybe you are. 

“What are you talk-”

“Tell me that you weren’t upstairs at Yvonne’s last night,” you sigh, irritated with the ruse. “Tell me that you didn’t go and do the exact thing that you promised me you wouldn’t, and that I didn’t have to find out from fucking Vanda, of all people.”

Pulling away, you slide from his grasp, tucking your arms around your middle so that you wouldn’t be tempted to reach back out for him. It was tortuous, how much you want to reach for him, even when your heart is breaking. 

“Sweetheart, I just- it was just going to be one last time, one last game. The pot was too good, it was enough to get you set up, so you could quit,” he lets the sentence hang, almost waiting for you to interrupt, but when you stay silent, he continues. “Joohoney made sure everything was good, and we won just enough to get what we needed, not enough to rock too many boats. I had it under control.” 

Closing your eyes, you let the last sentence settle around your shoulders like a heavy weight, the same old feelings bubbling up. “It wasn’t about you being in control or not, Changkyun. It was about listening to me, actually listening to me. You promised.”

It was on the last word that you broke, that the tears started to fall, and for once you didn’t turn away, wanting him to see. 

“You promised me you would stay away, and then you didn’t. You hid it. You thought you knew what was best for me, instead of just listening to me.” 

Pain laces Changkyun’s face as he takes a step towards you, only pausing when you take an equal step backwards. “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I know better, I just-”

“Please leave. I’m done.” Your voice is low but measured, certain. 

“Baby, please, let me just explain, and- and-”

“I don’t want to hear an explanation. I want you to leave.” Tears continue to fall, but you don’t drop his stare, willing him to understand just how serious this all is, how serious you are. 

He wants to fight it, wants to say more, but something in your eyes must convince him, because he keeps his mouth shut. Instead, he moves back to the couch, grabbing his coat and phone, before making his way to the door. His gaze is mournful as he gives you one last look, lingering, before shutting the door behind him. 

You aren’t sure how long you stand there, unmoving, before the autopilot kicks back into gear, forcing your limbs to move. Heading towards your room, you place your phone on the charger before you curl into your bed, surrounding yourself with the blankets and the lingering scent of Changkyun. 

And then you let yourself break down. 

Changkyun was drunk. Too drunk. 

He shouldn’t have taken that last shot, especially not after that last drink from the bar. It was too much, but fuck it. Who cares?

“I’m not sure what I’m doing,” he mumbles to himself, not caring how crazy he looks. He wishes someone would just give him some direction, tell him what he would need to do in order to fix this. 

He didn’t listen. He never listens. 

And now he’s lost the only good thing he’s ever fucking had, the only reason he got up each morning and what’s the point, if you’re gone? 

Fuck. Fuck. 

Sliding down low in the booth, he lets his head hang, the whisky glass precariously dangling in his hand. His body felt so heavy, so numb, and yet the anguish deep in his chest only worsened, throbbed along to music blaring in the club. 

If only he could apologize, he’d beg for mercy, he’d promise he’d never fuck up like this ever again. Explain how you were right - how he doesn’t need the money, or any of that shit, as long as he had you. 

He needs you.

His heart is in a vice grip, squeezing so tightly that he thinks he might explode from his body, his skin, until he’s nothing but red.

Pain suddenly licks up Changkyun’s palm, and he looks down to see the glass cup gone. In its place are thousands of tiny shards, twinkling in the dim club lights, reflecting everything back to him. More red, but this time welling in his palm, pooling in the deep lines of the skin. 

“What the fuck, are you alright dude?” 

Changkyun thinks it’s Joohoney who asks him, or maybe it’s Hyungwon? It doesn’t matter either way, because it’s not you.  

He goes to stand, to ask for a bandage or a rag or something, but instead his vision blurs, the room spinning. And then he’s flat on his back, blinking up at the cacophony of lights, faces coming in and out of focus, but not the one he needs, not the one he’s looking for. 

He can faintly hear his friends talking to him, feel them digging in his pockets for his phone, but he can’t be present anymore. It’s too torturous, too heavy. Much easier to close his eyes, to think about your face. To let himself get lost forever. 

He’s happy to die here on the floor of this stupid club, imagining your smile, your laugh, your lips as you say his name.

Changkyun just wants to take care of you, just wants to give you everything that you deserve. How can he do that if he’s here? If he can’t listen? 

He lets the darkness swallow him.

Changkyun isn’t sure where he is. 

He feels like he got hit by a truck, his head specifically feeling like it had been trampled on, though it’s his right palm that's aching in time to his pulse. 

Without moving, he opens his eyes slowly, trying to take in his surroundings. It’s dark, wherever he is, and his head is propped on a pillow, body stretched out on a couch. He can see a small trash can directly in front of him, as if whomever brought him here wasn’t sure if he’d be capable of finding a bathroom if the contents of his stomach decided to make a reappearance, and he groans.

Fingers swipe through his hair, easing the pounding in his skull by a fraction.

“Hi, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

Changkyun thinks he has to still be sleeping, must be having a very good dream if it’s your voice he’s hearing, your scent he’s inhaling as he settles onto the pillow. He smiles to himself, not wanting to speak and having the dream fade too soon. 

“Changkyun? Are you going to answer me?” This time, you peer over him, leaning down to stroke his face. You let your fingers linger briefly on his cheekbone before lightly touching his lips.

His eyes snap open. 

“Is this real?” He asks, voice hoarse, gaze searching your own. He doesn’t feel strong enough to sit up quite yet, but you don’t seem to want to make him, either. “Are you really here?”

“Technically, you’re here at my place, but yes, it’s real.” You reply, your nails sliding back up to his hair to give his scalp a soothing scratch.

He swallows as he stares at you, as he drinks in the tenderness in your eyes that he thought he wouldn’t get a chance to see again. It took him a moment before he recognized your apartment in the dim light, and another more before realizing the pillow he’s laying on is settled in your lap. 

Even knowing that this was real, that you truly let him back in, he was still too scared to speak, not wanting to scare you off. Not wanting the moment to end. 

When he finally gathered enough courage, he cleared his throat.

“I’m so, so fucking sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. I don’t listen. I hear what you say, and then just act like an ass who thinks he knows everything.” Changkyun swallows thickly. “The only thing I do know is that you’re my everything. You’re all I need. Please, don’t give up on me yet.”

His pleas make your eyes well, and you force yourself to take an even inhale before speaking. 

You want to tell him that you couldn’t give him up, that you had tried because you knew it would be easier in the long run, but your heart wouldn’t allow it. You want to say that you had regretted telling him to leave the moment the words left your lips, that you hadn’t meant them. You want to say that you were just so tired of not being heard, of people making decisions for you.

Instead, you roll your eyes playfully. “Now why would I do that, after all the trouble I went through to patch up your hand while you were black out?”

You will tell him those things, but later. When the sting of last night had faded a bit from both of your memories, and the impact intended can land. 

He gives you a small grin, meeting your gaze. His hand - the bandaged one - raises slowly, tentatively, until it’s cupping your cheek.

“I just wanted to give you the world,” Changkyun murmurs, almost reverently. “I will give you the world, the right way. It might take me longer, but I will.”

His words soften you more, and you reach for his other hand, pulling him up until he’s facing you. He’s slow to move, the onset of a hangover taking hold, but eventually he settles sitting upright, eyes still intense on your own. 

He  is always trying to take care of you, trying to lessen your burdens. You know you’re not the best at accepting the help, but dammit, you were trying. For him. And he was trying for you, too. 

You lean forward until your foreheads are touching, breaths mingling. 

“I already have it, stupid.”

He kisses you then, a gentle press of lips that quickly builds, as everything always does with him. A push and a pull. Changkyun leans away slightly,  grins against your mouth. “I’m an idiot, but you already knew that.”

“You’re my idiot. The rest is just noise.”

[smoochkooks]

—chapter twenty: this hope is treacherous

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, smut

word count: 2.4k words summary: it is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. but for a while, you did.

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Jungkook [Thursday, May 3rd, 05:32 pm]

How did it go? Soojin says everything’s fine between you

Want to grab bulgogi on Saturday? Same place as usual

Jungkook [Saturday, May 5th, 01:05 am]

Is everything alright? You haven’t been answering my texts

Jungkook [Saturday, may 5th, 03:45 pm]

Can I call you?

Two missed calls from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th, 9:33 am]

Are you sick? Do you need something? I can drop by later today after work

I’m worried

Why are you not responding????

YN?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 06:15 pm]

Jungkook, sorry I have been MIA this past few days. I needed some time to think and I decided I want to keep some distance between us from now on.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:23 pm]

What are you talking about? I thought we were good.

Did Soojin say something to you?

You  [Wednesday, May 9th  06:25 pm]

No, nothing happened. Soojin accepted my apology and she decided to move on, as I think we all should.

It was solely my decision and I need you to respect it

One missed call from: Jungkook

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  06:26 pm]

You won’t even answer my calls?

Come on YN, this is ridiculous

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th  08:15 pm]

Fine. I’ll respect your decision. Can I at least talk to you in person about it?

Please

“You’ve been staring at your phone for the past ten minutes, babe. Jungkook’s not going jump out of it, you can calm down for a sec.” Dahyun says from her place on your couch.

It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays for Dahyun are reserved for self-care, which often means trying out new face mask recipes she saw on TikTok. And since, as she stated a long time ago, “You’re my bestest friend, ever, ___” you are obligated to take part in it as well. If you refuse to participate, you should gear up for the Cheong Dahyun’s wrath.

That’s why you’re currently soaking your feet in a mixture of soap, bathing oils and a secret ingredient Dahyun doesn’t want to disclose, with a hydrating sheet mask on your face.

You lock your phone and throw it to the other side of the couch. “I should probably just ignore him completely.”

Dahyun rips off her sheet mask in a way too dramatic manner and turns to look at you. “And let that she-devil win? Fuck, no!” she blurts out.

You snort. “She-devil?”

“I would call her the b-word but I’m trying to cut down on derogatory terms when referring to women, even those who deserve to be called that,” she explains, massaging her neck with the sheet mask’s oily residue. “Anyway, I think you should tell Jungkook the truth. She’s manipulating both you and him!”

“If a say a word to Jungkook, she’s going to write a post on her social media and not only expose me, but also accuse of having an affair with him.” you reason.

“Just tell Jungkook she’s threatening you. He’s going to see right-through her bullshit, leave her alone and be with you,” Dahyun shrugs like your predicament isn’t complex at all, and motions for you to take your feet out of the water. She tosses you a white towel and hands an opaque container. “Now put that onto your feet. Girls on TikTok are saying they will feel like heaven. And smell like lavender too!”

You scoop the cream onto your nail and sigh. “It’s not that easy. She is his wife and he loves her, of course he will take her side. He might not even believe me,” you say. Your eyebrows involuntarily rise, inhaling the cream’s scent. “It does smell like lavender.”

Dahyun makes ‘I told you so’ face before replying, “You’ve got twenty years of friendship on her.”

 “And unrequited crush, and a whole book about it.” you point out.

“I forgot how complicated your life has become these days,” Dahyun says, shaking her head. “So what? You’re just going to give up? Ignore his messages, calls, don’t answer the door when he’s on the other side, hide in the bush when you’ll  randomly see him on the street and only contact him once a year for his birthday?” she asks.

Initially, your plan was to wait a few weeks after your confrontation with Soojin and eventually things would get back to normal, slowly and steadily. You’re used to being on stand-by, after all. But that was before you actually met up with her to talk. Before she’s threatened to reveal your biggest secret to the whole world. Variété would never grant you another book deal after such scandal. You would be ruined for good and blacklisted by every single publishing company in this country. You can’t risk your career like that. Not now, not when you’re already working on your new book and this time you decided to release it under your real name.

You think about your parents. What would they think about their daughter? Surely they would feel disappointed. Lastly, you think about Jungkook. If you let Soojin get away with her threats, you might lose Jungkook for good. And that would slowly kill you.

“Okay, fine. I will try to talk to him about it.” you finally decide.

Dahyun claps her hands. “I knew it! Gosh, You’re down bad for this man, aren’t you?” she asks, grinning.

“Stop teasing me or I’m going to cancel our next self-care Wednesday.”

She gasps. “You wouldn’t. I have gua-sha massages planned for that day.”

“Try me!”

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:08 pm]

Okay. We can talk in person

Jungkook  [Wednesday, May 9th 11:09 pm]

I’m visiting Busan this weekend. Soojin has a business trip so I’ll be alone

Would you like to go with me?

You [Wednesday, May 9th 11:12 pm]

Busan is fine by me. I missed my parents

I will take the train though.

Jungkook [Wednesday, May 9th 11:13 pm]

See you there

“There she is! My lovely daughter!”

It’s the first thing you hear after getting off the train at the railway station in Busan. Your mum hugs you tight and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Your dad couldn’t leave work earlier today so I’m picking you up instead,” She puts her hands on your shoulders and eyes you carefully. The smile she was wearing just seconds ago leaves her face. “I can tell you haven’t been eating well! What have I told you? You need to eat or you won’t have any energy!”

There it is. The world could be on fire and your mom would still worry about you not eating enough. Twenty-something years have gone by, and she’s still relentlessly reminding you to do so.

You roll your eyes, as you always do. “What did you make for dinner, then?” you ask, opening the car’s trunk and putting your bag there.

Your mom’s mood instantly lights up. “Chicken soup and jajangmyeon, your favorite,” she answers and starts the engine. “By the way, Jungkookie is also at his parents’, he arrived yesterday. Why haven’t you come with him?”

“I had a meeting at the publishing company that I couldn’t postpone,” you lie. “I’m meeting him later today, though.”

“I can’t believe my daughter is going to be a published author so-hey, you idiot! Who gave you a driving license?!” she yells. The young driver raises his hand in apology and your mom huffs. “It’s always the young ones! Anyway, do you know that Jungkook never visits his parents with that wife of his? I’ve only seen her once, during their engagement party for the whole family. You know which one, they did a big barbecue in the backyard. She seemed nice then, but a bit too standoffish, don’t you think? She comes from money, right?”

“Yeah, her parents own a company in Seoul that distributes vegetables and fruits all over the country. They also export, I think.” you reply, staring at the busy streets of Busan. You would probably rather talk about sex with your mom than discuss Jungkook’s marriage life, but your mom is a busy-body and loves gossip too much to let that slide.

To say the last, Soojin’s father is a big name in the industry. Jungkook told you once that he had to attend a dinner with Soojin and her parents, hosted by the minister of agriculture. You remember how much Jungkook worried he might not fit in the family. Soojin grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth, attending private schools and going on vacations overseas. The summer after they officially had started dating, Jungkook worked two jobs so he could afford to go to Thailand with her. What was a standard for Soojin, was a hard-earned commodity for Jungkook.

Your mom whistles. “No wonder she doesn’t like coming here to Busan. Too posh for that, ha! And especially now, with two extra people in the house. Oh, ___, they are such cute babies! Everyone is head over heels for them.” she says, beaming.

You smile to yourself. Junghyun, Jungkook’s older brother, got married four years before him to his high school sweetheart and few months ago she got birth to twins. Knowing Jungkook, he’s probably spoiling them with presents every time he visits.

And speaking of the devil, you notice his car immediately as your mom pulls up to your driveway. With a heavy sigh, you brace yourself for what’s to come.

Four years ago, Junghyun’s wedding party

“So, my dear brother, when am I going to dance at your wedding?”

Junghyun was clearly drunk, his speech slurred as he wrapped his hands around Jungkook’s shoulders and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. You giggled, positively buzzed yourself.

“I’m twenty-one and I just got back from the military. Let me live a little.” Jungkook grumbled and shoved his older brother away.

Really, it had been a little over two months now. His hair had grown into a nice length, the buzzcut long gone. He had gotten more buff, his dress shirt holding for dear life in some places. He’s matured, no longer a nineteen-year-old who had just finished high school but a grown adult.

Truth to be told, you missed him terribly.

Junghyun sat next to Jungkook, opened yet another soju bottle and poured a shot for each one of you. “To my beautiful wife Mina. I love you, honey!” he shouted and downed the alcohol. You could see Mina from across the room shaking her head with a soft smile playing on her lips. You grew up watching them fall for each other more and more with every passing day. If soulmates existed, Mina and Junghyun were definitely destined to be together.

“What about that birdie you’re dating now, huh? Sodam or something? Huh?” Junghyun asked, poking Jungkook in the ribs teasingly.

Jungkook’s already flushed cheeks, reddened ever more. “Her name’s Soojin and we are not dating. We went on one date,” he said sternly. “Besides, she’s out of my league. Her parents are super rich. Do you know she’s been to Paris this summer? She probably doesn’t know how cup noodles taste like!”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing, then.” Junghyun shrugged his shoulders. He poured himself another shot of soju and looked at you, then at his younger brother, his face weirdly serious all of a sudden. “You know what I think?” he asked.

“I haven’t gained the ability to read your thoughts yet, hyung.”

Junghyun smacked Jungkook’s head. “Aish, who taught you to speak like that to your hyung?” You knew that, from the way Jungkook was biting his lips to refrain from laughing, that he wanted so badly to answer: “You did!”, but he decided to let Junghyun continue his drunken monologue. “I think that you and ___ will end up together one day.”

You tried to conceal your surprised expression with a chuckle. “Me and Jungkook? Please, I wouldn’t stand his ass.”

“Hey!”

Junghyun shook his head. “I’m serious. Best relationships, the ones that last years and years, are made out of friendship. Your partner should be your best friend! Look at our parents! Look at me and Mina! We’ve been friends throughout the whole middle school, tiptoeing around each other before one us decided to finally make a move. And now we’re married.” he said, his gaze longingly fixated on his wife. You dared to glance at Jungkook, thinking you’d find him amused by his brother’s drunken speech, but he was looking at Junghyun, not a hint of smile on his lips. “I think that it might take you a while to get there but eventually, I’ll dance at your wedding. And I’ll be really, really happy to do so.”

It is not a sign of maturity, to cling to someone’s drunken words so much. But for a while, you did. You replayed that moment over and over again in your head. You thought about Jungkook, his stoic expression while listening to his older brother. How he did not protest. How maybe, he could too imagine that happening. But then he went on another date with Soojin, and another. Started working extra hours to afford her lifestyle. Years gone by, and for some unknown reason, you still hold that memory close to your broken heart.