Kwanzhuh?
So here I am ... 27 ... wanting to explore new ‘holidays’ and I say that ... when I say that, it makes me feel like I am ... makes me feel like I am an OUTSIDER (all caps) trying to pull into someone elses culture ... a culture, community and holiday that DOES NOT BELONG TO ME.
Maybe let me go back ... I am “mixed” my mother is a white woman raised by a white woman and my father was a black man and so therefore I am mixed and just speaking in very broad, vague and maybe not sensitive terms ... white people often celebrate Christmas - not many white American people (that I know of?) celebrate Kwanzaa, in my mind - I think that people that celebrate Kwanzaa are ... black - either African-American or African ... (maybe other African dashes celebrate it too) [you see this is SO WELL thought out as well as so PC] BUT with all that said I have recently (5+ years) been feeling like what if I was more connected to the African American side of myself - I have always heard teeny tiny bits and pieces about Kwanzaa and have always wondered ... could I be the Kwanzaa doing type? Am I “black enough” to do Kwanzaa? Is there a Kwanzaa-point that I am missing? Do I even REALLY do Christmas? Would I benefit from Kwanzaa?
As an adult I have had many friends and people I am in contact with say(not rly in relation to Kwanzaa) “You’re half black, so you’re black enough” but I don’t feel like it is mine to partake in, I feel as though if I were to start doing Kwanzaa that it would somehow be ‘tainting the punch’ for everyone else... I don’t know, silly feelings.
I asked my boyfriend if he would be interested in looking into, researching and celebrating Kwanzaa this year and the short answer was NO. So, it took the wind out of my sails a bit on trying to celebrate it myself this year - because not only is it new for me, but also ... holidays are to be celebrated TOGETHER with PEOPLE. Ideally people that are close/est to us. So... it just didn’t seem like it would make much sense to pursue it. I tell myself maybe next year, but who knows, I mean really... I ... I don’t know.