Christopher Pike is GREAT Invisible Illness Representation
So, this is, probably entry one billion on reasons I’m obsessed with this character but
Sometimes the medication isn’t worth the equally damaging side effects that accompany it. Sometimes, somebody who appears to be in incredibly good health will suddenly not be and never will be again and you have to learn to adjust to that. Sometimes, modern medicine is not enough, at least it won’t be in your lifetime.
Pike knows he will lose his ability to move and communicate complex thoughts easily in about ten years. Both physical and mental struggles.
Pike knows that there is no cure or rehabilitation for exposure to Delta radiation. That there may not be in his lifetime.
Pike knows, that if he doesn’t choose the future laid out before him, that leads to said disability, he will not be himself. In his mind, he will be sacrificing everything that makes him who he is as a person in exchange for things that are far less important to him than other elements of his identity.
Pike is grieving for the inevitable, but making an effort to embrace the present while he is still able to enjoy it as he is with his present capabilities. Knowing that those capabilities will change dramatically and have to be adjusted to in the not so distant future.
Not to get personal but, I come from a family a long history of invisible and/or degenerative physical and mental illnesses on both sides. I’ve watched loved ones lose significant capacity to do things, things they needed to do, things they loved to do, within my relatively short lifetime. I’ve seen many of them pass away or lose touch with reality due to those same illnesses. I’m seeing signs of a few of them in myself that I intend to get looked into. Bracing for the likelihood I’ve inherited at least one.
Pike’s struggle with what he thinks is best for his future is one that is incredibly relatable and personal to me.
Does he give up the core of his identity to live a longer and more abled life? Does he give up his current capabilities in order to save what he believes is his fundamental identity? How much of this is informed by his mental health, his self-esteem, his compassion for the people around him? How will that be affected by what he chooses to do? How much of it is fear of the unknown, and how much of it is knowing where his boundaries are? Is there anything he can do to lessen the pain or slow the progress of what’s coming, or does he have to just hunker down and take it?
Like Pike says in the pilot “How will it live in me?”
It’s confusing, it’s complicated, it’s scary, it’s grief and loss and judgement calls. It’s learning how to make peace with it so you can live your life to the fullest, whatever that ends up meaning. For some of us those questions become absolutely necessary to ask others and to personally grapple with.
So when people’s reaction to Captain Pike’s dilemma is the same as a lot of abled people’s reaction, which is to wanna stop it or fix it when they ultimately can’t. It kinda hurts. You see Spock and Una do it with Chris. Spock even takes it to the extreme in The Menagerie which I have… mixed, feelings about. But how the characters handle it isn’t the point of this post.
I think all of this is probably why I get really snippy when I see people discuss the show being an alternative timeline or suggest fix-it fiction to dodge Pike’s disability. By the way shout out to people who make AUs where he’s accomadated for and keeps doing what he loves, y’all know who you are and I love you.
When it comes down to it, knowing what’s ahead of him is a fundamental aspect of who he is as a character. Taking that narrative consequence away takes the oh so incredibly rare invisible illness disability representation away. And that sucks.
Because it’s not only rare to find that kind of rep in general, but especially that rep exists in addition to the character being strong and compassionate and nuanced, and his eventual disability not becoming him. It’s rare when you relate to a character a great deal in addition to that rep. And I personally have found that fulfillment in him. Pike makes me feel seen in a way very few other characters have.
So here’s to Captain Pike, and I hope going forward more people think before they instinctively try to fix disabled characters who are comfortable with their own choices they make in regards to their own disabilities.
