In which Lepidi feeds his moirail
sitting in my hotel room, left my drawing shit in the artist alley room, don't wanna go to bed yet... yeah let's write a short trollswitch fic
features: Troll!Scoff <> Troll!Inny
“You're fuckin' kiddin' me,” Lepidi said, talking through a mouthful of the food. His feet dangled over the edge of an outcropping of rock, dipping into the water of the ocean.
Navale waded near the rocks' edge, giving Lepidi a flat look. “I'm not sure if you've noticed, but that sort of thing doesn't hold up too well underwater.”
“Well, yeah. Obviously.” Lepidi gestured with his hands, waving his hunk of grubloaf around. “But y' ain't underwater all th' time.”
“I'm not?”
“No you're not, fuck.” Lepidi glared at his moirail. “Shit's damn ubiquitous.”
“That doesn't mean I have to eat it.”
“All 'o your subjects eat 't. Ain't it like, part 'f understandin' th' people y' rule over?”
“Right. Because I just spend so much time trying to understand my people.”
Lepidi reached over and papped Navale on the face.
“Eat th' damn loaf.”
Navale drifted away a bit, lowering himself in the water so that the water was just below his eyes.
“Do y' even eat 't all? Like ever?” Lepidi asked.
Navale floated up again to reply, “Of course.”
“I ain't never seen it.”
“Sure you have.”
“Don't count when munchies're involved.”
“I don't see why it wouldn't.”
Lepidi rolled his eyes. He took a bite of grubloaf before breaking off a crumb. He held it out. “Here. Jus' a li'l piece.”
“No.”
“Y' can spit 't out 'f y' don' like it.”
Navale just dropped down again, hiding his mouth underwater. Lepidi huffed, throwing the crumb. It hit Navale in the forehead before bouncing off and landing in the water. It floated. Lepidi glared at the wasted crumb, while Navale watched it bob with increasingly rapt attention. Eventually he snapped it up.
Lepidi blinked, then broke off another crumb. He threw it, which resulted in the same thing happening. Navale stared at the grubloaf for a while, then ate it as though unable to help himself.
Lepidi laughed. Navale spit water at him.
“Shut up,” he said.
Lepidi replied by throwing another crumb. Navale ate it. Lepidi threw three crumbs, and Navale ate them all, one at a time.
“'s this shit jus' instinct for ya'?” he asked as he threw in more crumbs. “Like breathin' underwater 'n bein' a huge tool?”
“Die in a fire,” Navale growled.
“'m sure you'll have a ball settin' that fire, y' soggy bastard.” Lepidi continued throwing crumbs.
“This is all kinds of dignified,” Navale said in between bites.
“Oh, 't is, mos' def'nitely.” Lepidi took a bite for himself. “'s how 'n emperor eats, right? Gettin' hand-fed by a commoner?”
“Absolutely,” Navale said, “Now stop.”
“Sure, sure.” Lepidi tore up the remainder of the loaf. Then he stood up and threw the crumbs as far as they would go, scattering them all over the water.
Navale glared. Lepidi grinned. Navale swam off, chasing the floating crumbs.