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10pm (Part II)

pairing: im changkyun x reader words: 3,580 genre: angst, angst, angst ??? I tried ahahah warnings: none rate: g summary: The moment he realized he had taken you for granted was the moment you walk away from his life.

10PM (Part I)

A/N : Oh haii, so I just happened to make a part II of this , just finished my final exam and now bored waiting for my brother to pick me up from school T_T. Enjoyyy <3 Changkyun’s POV

11pm, Saturday, I’m currently at Jooheon’s place together with the guys, everyone were silent for a moment but Minhyuk decided to kill the silence and suggested to have a beer. Jooheon and Wonho cheered and the rest just agreed about it, while for me I think I needed few cans of it. My mind is floating, y/n’s face is still very clear in my head. Right now I’m contemplating how will I text her, or should I call her. I know it should be the best thing that I should do, but I can’t seem to have the courage to do so. This feeling of guilt is just so new to me, I’ve been holding my phone for a while waiting for her to text me how angry she was, how she hates me. I think that would be better than not getting any, it seriously makes me anxious.

“So Changkyun what are you gonna do about it?” Shownu asked after taking the last gulp from his can before tossing it to the bin. I just shrug taking a sip from my can as well.

“You know what? Given y/n’s attitude I think she will just sleep her anger away and be after you again the next day.” Minhyuk said while munching his pizza.

“Me too, me too, y/n is sure to be head over heels with you Kkung.” Jooheon seconded nudging me in the shoulder.

“It’s hard to be really handsome.” Wonho stated before laughing. They are having fun with their conversation when Kihyun harshly slam the can on the table. He’s been grumpy the whole time but this no longer surprise everyone since Kihyun’s reaction over things is always different from the rest. He has always been the mother of the group, in the sense of nagging about everything, think he is the only one who is rational. Well there are times that he really is the most rational.

“That’s my point Changkyun-ah, haven’t you realized it by now? Y/n likes you a lot, for the longest time now and what did you do? You’ve taken her for granted.” He said raising his voice, obviously mad as he finally voiced out his frustration and here I am, I can’t even answer back. I felt guilty and stupid enough.

“Kihyun-ah stop acting like a girl, just drink already. It was our idea Changkyun was just dragged with us.” Wonho said rubbing Kihyun’s back trying to calm him.

“Yes hyung, yes on Monday I will go to y/n and explain everything to her, I’ll take all the blame. Please don’t kill the fun now.” Jooheon said while making cute faces trying to make Kihyun laugh.

“Tsk, you two! Remember what I’ve told you, you will both regret this, I know right now you won’t understand, I just hope you won’t taste your own medicine.” Kihyun said slapping Jooheon’s face away while Wonho laugh loudly.

“HA! As if I would ever fall in love. There are so many girls out there lining up for me.” He added finishing the content of his can.

Sunday was torture, it’s the longest Sunday I ever had. I finally texted y/n that I was really sorry and told her I would buy her whatever desserts she likes. I even texted her that I would go to the amusement park with her but she didn’t reply any of it. She won’t answer my calls as well. As much as I hate to admit it, it feels a little weird not receiving lots of messages from her. Or was I just so used always getting flooded with messages and whatever from her. My phone feels a little lonely and boring since it’s so silent. It’s already past dinner yet I still have full battery, my phone battery doesn’t usually last this long because of receiving lots of notifications from her. From random text, chat and just what so ever. I remember her sending me pictures of cute cats she wants to pet but obliviously can’t since she’s allergic to it. And also her sending me pictures of cactus, saying she wanted to pet it since she doesn’t need to water it every day. Y/n seriously needs to grow up. I suddenly question what I was doing realizing, I’m scrolling up her chatbox.

Monday morning, I woke up extra early so I could go to her house and pick her up for school. I’m sure she will play sulky for a moment but will surely talk to me after few minutes. Especially now I prepared bribery for her, I bought her favorite strawberry milkshake. Well I’m not sure if she likes having it early in the morning, but she usually likes everything that I gave her. As what I’ve remembered I usually give her snacks, since she likes eating a lot and I just honestly don’t know what else does she like aside from food. I didn’t text her that I’ll be picking her up early, I’m thinking of just waiting for her to come out so we could go to school together. But it’s almost 8am and she ain’t around yet, I was about to walk in when I saw her brother, he greeted me good morning with a confused tone. “I thought, y/n informed you to just meet in school since she had a sleep over at Eun Hae’s (ur bff’s name) place since they have this morning activity with their groupmates.” Her brother stated that got me confused to, I don’t remember her saying any of that. “Aww, I didn’t know that was today, I might just have missed the dates. Thanks Hyung.” I just ended up saying before bidding him goodbye.

The entire day at school feels a little unusual, I can’t find y/n in the place she usually stay or walk by. She used to always visit and stay in the bench where I and my friends stay, I didn’t see her at the cafeteria today as well. I wonder if she had eaten her lunch. “Looking for someone?” Wonho laughed while nudging me as he placed his food on the table. “Yeah, it feels new not seeing y/n around.” Jooheon seconded with a fake pout. “You think, she’s really serious about giving up on Changkyun this time?” Minhyuk asked in wonder. That also got me wondering if she’s really going to give up for real this time. I don’t know why but I felt a pang of pain in my chest hearing that, it felt empty. I know it’s really wrong and selfish but I wish she won’t seriously give up on me yet. Feeling slightly threatened with the possibilities, I texted her again. A long and sincere one. Telling her how sorry I was and I really wanted to talk to her personally. It was around 3pm, in the middle of my last class when I finally got a reply from her. She agreed to just talk on our way home, and hell yeah it’s one of the new feelings I’ve been having lately, I’m nervous to see her, I’ve been contemplating what will I say to her. Y/n what have I done and what should I do? Y/n’s POV

You felt really sick the entire weekend, crying over and telling Eunhae about everything that happened. Eunhae was so mad about everyone and in the midst of all that happened she didn’t say much, she was just there and listened to you all the way. You are really thankful you have your only best friend, if not you have no idea how you will be able to act as if nothing happened at home. Your family is really close to each other and talking about your feelings for Changkyun is a normal topic at home and of course your mom will openly talk about it to Changkyun’s mom. That’s how twisted everything is, and this time you don’t want anything of that. You felt really bad already and as much as possible you don’t want anyone to know about it, specially both of your families.

You were having stages of grief over your lost love. That Saturday night you were so angry and mad at Changkyun, you seriously want to slap him and his friends. How dare they made fun of you. But later on, you’re a crying mess, realizing your worth in Changkyun’s heart. By this time you are really sure that he doesn’t really feel anything for you, because if he does he will never toy with you, he will never toy with your feelings. He will never let his friends make fun of you. You’re used to him being mean and cold to you, that hurts a lot but that is somewhat better. At least he isn’t lying, at least he wasn’t leading you on. But this time it’s different, it’s the first time he toyed with your feelings like this, you were so happy and excited to just let your heart break. Changkyun is really your first love and also your first heart break.

You promised to yourself before that you will never give up on him. You promised to yourself before that you will be with him and fight for him as long as he doesn’t have anyone yet. But now you realized how pathetic that promise was. You realized it’s not Changkyun’s fault alone, it’s yours as well. You’ve been forcing your feelings for him, you’ve been fooling yourself that there is a possibility of you and him. You live in your own bubble, pretending you don’t know his feelings, denying the fact that he doesn’t really liked you from the start. You always make his small gesture matter, making it a big deal to feed your own satisfaction when in fact it doesn’t really meant anything. Now you’re not just crying because he toyed with your feelings, now you’re also crying because you finally accepted the reality that nothing is really left for you and him. It’s so painful that it’s hard to breathe and cry at the same time. Words are not even enough to express the pain you are feeling right now. You are torn between missing him and the imagination of him missing you as well, but you know it’s not the real thing. Plus remembering you words at the restaurant, your pride won’t allow you to make your words into nothing. Yes, you admit that you can really be bratty and childish at times, prideful and unforgiving as well. Changkyun knew that very well, but still he decided to hurt you that way.

“ Don’t worry this will be the last time. I’ll stop fighting for your attention, I’ll stop texting you, I’ll stop going to your profile and getting jealous over other girls you are friendly with, I’ll stop trying making you fall for me. Please help me, and please stay away from me.” it’s not the first time you’ve said that you’re giving up on him. But this time you’re so determined to stick to your words, you’re so hurt and tired to go after a love only you wants in the very first place.

Monday as much as you don’t want to go to school, you don’t have a choice. It’s better to be busy at school than to mourn at your best friend’s house. You purposely made yourself really busy, volunteering to do tasks that’s not even yours. It may sound that you are avoiding him but yeah it’s really true, you don’t want to see him. Seeing him might change the decision you made over night , and you’re still so hurt to see him as well. You read his text, saying sorry as if what he did was nothing serious. He even offered to buy you anything or go with you anywhere, if it was some other time you would feel really happy about it, but this time you felt really annoyed reading it. You’re not in the mood to entertain butterfly in your stomach. Changkyun can really be stupid at times.

It was 2:30 in the afternoon, it was your break and you made used of it to just buy snacks you can eat on the way to the auditorium. And that’s the time you saw Changkyun’s bestfriend Jooheon walking his way towards you. He called your attention and jogged to your place as he noticed you walking away from him. “Y/n wait” He panted while holding your wrist. “What do you want Jooheon?” You asked directly , sounding pissed. “Y/n I’m really sorry okay? It was mine and Wonho hyung’s fault. Changkyun really doesn’t have any idea that we would be there. Y/n please.” Jooheon pleaded naturally like its no big deal. “Did Changkyun asked you to do this?” You asked and Jooheon instantly deny it and started explaining everything that happened during that time. Saying it was his and Wonho’s idea, he was the one holding Changkyun’s phone, saying he was the one who insisted the bet. Saying Changkyun was just forced to go along to the idea of testing me.

Hearing about him wanting to test your feelings really hurt you. Was your effort not enough? Was the way you’re expressing your feelings not enough? You are a woman too, You wished to experience someone who will sincerely like you and go after you. Someone that would make your heart flutter over trivial stuffs such as text, flowers, effort and time. But you have given up all of that because of Changkyun, because you know he will never do that for you.

3pm, you received another text from him, he was apologizing again and asking you if you could talk. “Fine, let’s talk.” You texted him back as you wipe your tears walking your way to the auditorium.

4:30pm the talk in the auditorium was over already, you didn’t even know what the hell they are talking about inside. You were so busy contemplating your emotions , your mind is flying somewhere. Thinking of possible scenarios how to make Changkyun regret for what he did, you’re thinking of how to get back at him and at least hurt him the way he has hurted you or at least make him a little sad as well, it’s not fair that it’s only you who’s suffering. You took a deep breath, counting 1-10 to composure yourself and act as cold as possible as you walk going to the car park. You saw him standing there, his back leaning on the door frame of his car. Damn it, here goes your heart getting excited in an appropriate time again. You stand there and tried to calm yourself , remembering the things that hurts you, thinking the guy you hurt you , the guy who toy with your feelings is just there standing in front of you. And as if in cue, Changkyun turned to your direction and saw you. Not unlike his usual self, he doesn’t look as confident as he used to be, he looked anxious, well this is new. Reminds you of what happened, now it starts clouding in your chest, its heavy and suffocating. You got inside the car without greeting him anyway. “You wanna go somewhere….I mean is there a place you wanted to go so we could talk?” Changkyun carefully asked while turning the engine on. “No, let’s just talk here.” You stated as cold as possible, you can feel how tensed he was as he turned the engine off and sit up properly after letting out a deep breath, how the shortest time you are together this afternoon you can’t count already how many deep breath and sighs coming from him. “You can start reciting your lies now, so we could finish this talk early.” You said feeling proud of yourself as you voice didn’t crack. You saw him sighed and turned to face you. “Look Y/n, I know you’re still so mad or even hated me right now but still I want to tell you I’m really sorry for what happened. I felt so bad about it too, I hated myself for making it happen too. But please hear me out.” You sighed hearing him, fisting your palm trying your best to control your emotions, trying your best to stop the tears from spilling from your eyes. “It may sound that I’m just justifying myself but I don’t really have any idea that they’re going to be there. I really had the intention to be there with you. They told me that we’re just going to make you wait a little, I agreed because they keep on teasing me and I was a little curious too, I know that was stupid. But as I was thinking, you won’t notice it anyway since you were so busy chatting with the waiter friend of yours, I thought it wouldn’t matter much as well. Just enough for them to go away, but everything just went out of hand.” He paused looking at you, trying to wait for your response but you decided to stay silent and not say anything. “You have all the right to hate me for making you wait that long. And about what you said that night, Y/n I didn’t do it because I hated you. I may not like it when people and our family go before me and pushed me to be with you and reciprocate your feelings but I never hated you for that. It may be really easy for you to express how you feel for me but that does not work for me Y/n. You know I’m not as expressive as you are, I’m not as sociable as you are, I enjoy my peace and privacy. I just simply didn’t like it, that’s why I easily get annoyed and frustrated every time they tease me with you. Maybe that’s the reason why I wasn’t able to stop them from betting that night. I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t mean to hurt you that night.” He said, brushing his fingers in his hair in frustration. This time you were unable to stop your tears from streaming, everything just came back to your mind as if everything happened at the moment, you’re no longer mad , just hurt about the reality that he’s talking about.

“I know, Jooheon told me everything already.” You started with your head low not even giving him a look. “I don’t know what more about my feelings you wanted to test more. Are my efforts not enough? I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up over it, it’s just waiting. Changkyun I can wait for you for how long, I’ve waited for you for the longest time already. How much more just 5pm to 10pm, that should be nothing. Changkyun I really like you, No, I really love you, did you think that’s really easy for me to say? I’m hesitating as well, I’m hesitating every time I get rejected because of your cold treatment and constantly pushing me away. Did you think I don’t get nervous all the time I’m with you, especially when your friends are around? It’s the time where you’re colder and meaner than usual btw. But did you heard me complained about that, did I hated you for that? Changkyun I didn’t because I wanted this in the first place. I can’t even hate you after what you did that night. You know what’s hurting me more this time? Giving up the feelings I had for you for a very long time. My feelings are becoming clearer I’m falling really hard for you and this onesided love is getting a little toxic in my heart.” You closed your eyes fervently, taking a deep breath afraid of what he might say. You heard him sigh once more unable to collect his words. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I – I don’t know what to say Y/n.” Was the only words he came up to, it hurts but you actually felt lighter than yesterday. Confessing him everything you’re bottling up to, actually made it a little better. “It’s okay, I doesn’t matter anymore. It’ll be fine, It’ll forget about it in few days. I also wanted to tell you without sounding awkward, It might be childish but Changkyun you were my first love, I’ll stop there I’ve confessed too much already.” You faked a laugh before continuing. “ Just give me due time and I’ll be back being that annoying little girl who follows you and your brother around when we were kids.” You smiled sincerely thinking about the old times, as you gather all your force to open the door. “Where are you going?” He asked holding your wrist. “I promised Eunhae, I’ll go home with her.” The last thing you said before stepping out of his car. A/N: WAAAAAHHHH I don’t know what going on there mwahhaahah @_@ Forgive me for I just write what ever that comes to my mind. I didn’t review and reread this btw , so forgive me as well for the lapses. Huhuhu I’d love to hear from you guys. <3

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I, liimchangkyun, take Kim Gunwoong / K-Kid (Blanc7) as my husband!

You may now kiss the bride!

April 24, 2017

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