If You Love Me Keep It To Yourself
18+!!
chapter one
Summary: Link and Zelda try their hardest to focus on the growing list of duties that have been dumped on them now that Ganon is gone, while being tempted by their insatiable lust for one another.
or
Link hates himself and causes a self imposed slowburn while Zelda tries her hardest to focus on the fact that she has a broken county to lead, and not the fact that Link seems to be even more oblivious than he was before the calamity.
Zelda sat at the kitchen able where Link had left her, she wasn’t sure what she’d done wrong. Ever since she was saved it felt like there was a big gap between her and her knight. It was as if they had no history, no prior memories together. It made her chest hurt the harder she thought about it, how he froze up at dinner. The distance he puts between them, as if he was still under the watchful eye of the king. She thought maybe it was because of his lost memories, but it seemed like he had seen the ones she hat left for him, the ones that told their story together.
Zelda was still sat at the table when Link reentered from his bath. She startled at the door, moving to look busy, like she was cleaning up from dinner.
“You don’t have to do that Princess.” his voice was flat and cold, an attempt to keep any emotion from spilling over and cluing her into what could be happening in his head. He took the rag she had hastily picked up from the counter and started wiping the table himself, hair still dripping.
“Let me do it, I live here too you know.” Her voice was indignant, like she was offended that he stole the task from her. She supposed in some ways she was, she wasn’t incapable of wiping a table. She snatched the rag back and shooed him away, “You need to dry off anyway, its cold tonight.”
Link straightened up and nodded before heading up to his loft, his movements stiff like a scolded child. That’s when Zelda got her first clear look at his face, his eyes blank, like he wasn’t truly there. She watched him walk up the stairs, each step heavy. Did she make him miserable? Or was he just weary? She never saw him take time for himself, he was always doing something for someone.
It hit her he hasn’t rested since he fought Ganon. He cooked every night, hunted every day, and did tasks around the village for extra rupees. Not to mention his constant vigilance around her. She should press on going to Kakariko, he would get a small break from his efforts. The guard there should be good enough for him to relax just a bit.
She made her way up the stairs to meet him by his bed, his back was facing her, his wet shirt hanging off the desk chair. She watched as the muscles in his back moved as he dried his hair. For a moment her Kakariko plan was forgotten as her eyes raked down to the dimples in his lower back.
Slowly Link turned to face her electrifying blue eyes meeting hers inquisitively. She felt heat rise up her chest and neck, settling uncomfortably in the apples of her cheeks. “We should go to Kakariko. Soon. I think it would be relaxing for the both of us.” She hated the way her voice squeaked, indicative of the way he startled her.
He blinked, “Relaxing…” It appeared as if he was mulling the word over in his head, as if he was in disbelief that the village could be described that way. Had it changed since the Calamity? He answered before she could overthink any longer, “Alright, when would you like to leave? Need to prepare.”
“In two days time, it gives you enough time to finish any chores, and gives the both of us a day to prepare.”
Link nodded and began to go over what he though the timeline would look like. As he spoke Zelda moved her eyes across his still-naked torso, noting the way his chest split down the middle from muscle. The low light from the lamp illuminating his skin in a delicious glow.
It hit her then, as she admired him, that the shrine of resurrection hadn’t healed his scars, some looked newer, but a lot of them were far older. One that stood out the most was a jagged hole shaped one placed just over his sternum. While it was faded, she could still see how raised it was compared to the taut skin of his chest and stomach. It was clear to her what it was from, she felt ill.
Before she could stop them she felt her eyes well up with tears, and she heard Link trail off from his sentence. She could feel the grief from that day wash over her, like a glacial ocean. She looked at him again, his face this time, the warmth in his skin comforting her. But her thoughts quickly returned to the way his lifeless face was splattered in thick red blood. More viscous liquid pouring out of the corners of his mouth. She could almost feel how warmth bloomed in her lap as she held him. The rattle of his final breaths ringing in her ears.
She shuddered as Link pulled her into an embrace, his arms were warm as they held her firmly. His breath tickled her ear as he whispered, “I’m sorry princess, I shouldn’t have let you see that.” She felt comfort from the absence of a rattle in his voice and breath.
“I’m okay, it was just unexpected,” she took a deep breath, pressing her face into his shoulder, “I’m just glad you’re alive. Thank the Goddess for the shrine of resurrection.” her nose flooded with his scent, warm safflina, and a slight musk that reminded her of before the Calamity.
She took a step back, her hands found their place on his shoulders. She eyed the scar once again, running her hands down to feel the ridges. She felt Link shudder under her touch.
“Does it haunt you too? The memory?” She watched him nod, his eyes diverted from hers as a strained expression formed on his face.
Zelda realized what she was doing and immediately paced back, putting a respectable distance between the two. Link sighed in what she perceived as relief, his shoulders seeming to release a tension she hadn’t noticed before. “Its getting late and we must start preparations for our trip tomorrow. I hope you sleep well Link.”
He nodded and gave a small ‘You too,’ as she turned on her heel and rushed down the stairs.
Earlier in the day Link had spent a while preparing her a cot in the living room, It was modest, but cozier than the bed she had in her old bedroom.
She settled into the blankets, letting her mind wander as she mulled over her conversation with Link. He seemed so reserved, but as soon as she started panicking he was there to comfort her, almost like a lover. He would make a good husband one day, with how attentive and kind he is. She wondered what kind of woman he would like, or maybe a man would better suit his tastes?
She almost wished that it was her he wanted, but that wouldn’t work out in this life. To protect the kingdom in this vulnerable state she would need to give all her focus to rebuilding. She may even have to give herself to a foreign prince to ally Hyrule with a larger, more powerful nation. The thought pained her but it was her duty, to her kingdom and her father’s legacy.
Zelda felt strange the day after her episode, She was awoken to the scent of fried eggs and buttered toast. Her stomach growled fiercely, thankfully she was sure the duvet covered the sound. She felt a peace she hadn’t known for over a century, it was refreshing.
A quiet curse cut through the peace that blanketed the house. Zelda glanced over to see that Link had burnt himself grabbing the handle of his pan. He must have thought she was still asleep. Zelda smiled a true smile, one that was usually reserved for private moments, she felt lucky to witness Link at his most relaxed. It was almost intimate to view a person in this way — to truly know them.
Link, even before the Calamity, was always guarded. She was lucky to get a few words from him before. He talks more now, but its nothing deep, nothing personal. Just updates and requests for her.
It used to get under her skin, she used to think that it was his way of flaunting his personal willpower. She understands now that its almost like a second set of armor, for his heart. If he never opens up then the information can never be used against him.
He intrigued her in ways that no other person had, and it scared her. She may never be able to know him like this. His thoughts and feelings may never be divulged to her, and it hurts that he didn’t trust her to hold those secrets. But she wouldn’t pry, as it wasn’t her right.
Getting up was a chore. Getting dressed, eating, and preparing to face the day felt like torture when all she wanted was to lie in bed. Link had gotten a century long rest, so it was no wonder why he was ready to go at all times. Zelda, was less inclined to go out, she hadn’t dared to venture to Purah’s lab, the thought it ran a chill down her spine.
Link wasn’t particularly talkative during breakfast, so it was as good of a day as any to make the daunting visit to Purah. It was almost surprising that she hadn’t dragged Zelda up to the lab herself.
Zelda pulled on her shoes and said quick goodbyes to Link as she left. She had explained her plans for the day as she finished her food, he gave no objections. She wondered if the night before had upset him. Had she gotten too close to him?
The walk to Hateno’s research lab was uneventful. The villagers paid her no mind, to which she was grateful. By the time she had walked up the Goddess forsaken hill her calves burned terribly. She hoped the walking parts of her trip to Kakariko would fare better for her poor legs.
The door to the lab was slightly ajar, quiet tinkering noises leaked through the crack. Zelda noted a note on the door that read: ‘Link, please knock before entering!’ in big bold letters. She shook her head, wondering what could have happened to make the note necessary.
She took a breath before knocking, her heart was beating out of her chest. The noise in the lab stopped as she knocked, the distinct sounds of rushing footsteps cutting through the newly created silence. A pair of eyes peaked at her through the crack before disappearing as quickly as they came.
The door was pushed open quickly, revealing a small Sheikah child. Zelda was taken aback, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for Purah to have had a child. But it looked to similar to her that it was startling. It was also quite young, not more than 10 years old. She must have waited quite a while to settle.
Zelda started to speak, but was quickly interrupted by the girl. The child flung her arms around Zelda’s mid section. “Zelda! I missed you so much Zeldy, you have no idea!” The girl tightened her grip, her strength was shocking for a child.
Zelda was taken aback by the girl’s familiarity, ‘Zeldy’ was a stupid nickname from Purah that she called her when they spent time in the royal lab. It clicked only then that this may have been one of Purah’s more risky experiments gone wrong.
Zelda hugged back, matching Purah’s strength. “I missed you as well but what have you done to yourself?”
They released each other, the now younger Sheikah smiling so big it barely fit on her face. “Do you like the new look?” She giggled as she shook her head, “I’m just playing, I made a mistake trying to de-age myself. Luckily I am close to a solution, I should be back to normal in the next couple of months.”
Zelda nodded, she remembered Purah mentioning plans to work on a method to ‘de-age’ before the calamity. At the time it was just to see if she could, but it must have turned into a necessity for her.
Purah ushered Zelda in and guided her to the messy dining table pushed off to the side of the room. “Sorry for the mess, you know how it is in my labs. Would you care for some tea?”
Zelda smiled, accepting the offer. She felt far more at home here and now than she did at the house. It wasn’t Link’s fault, but his standoffish nature didn’t make for a welcoming environment.
The two girls talked for several hours about everything Zelda had missed while she was trapped. While the years Link was asleep weren’t very eventful, Purah had made many advancements with ancient tech. Her ability to work even among chaos was awe inspiring to Zelda.
“So…” Purah looked expectantly at Zelda.
“So.”
“Have you and Link, you know…” Purah paused, deciding whether she wanted to go on with her question. “Well you know, before the calamity, you seemed absolutely smitten with him. Have you… done anything about it?”
Zelda shifted in her seat, uncomfortable. “No, nothing like that, nor would I wish for it to go that way. He is a friend and that’s it. I also can’t be sure he's not already involved with someone else.”
Purah jumped out of her chair, “Link, loyal knight to Princess Zelda, having sex with another woman?”
Zelda nodded, “It could be the case, last night he took an abnormally long bath. He takes them at the pond near his house so its plausible that he stopped by his lover’s house before truly bathing.”
“Do you hear yourself? He was probably doing what all men do once they get a lick of alone time. Why don’t you ask him if he has a lover, since you seem so sure of it.” Purah had sat back down by the time she was done speaking. She spoke with such precision that Zelda started to believe her even though she couldn’t possibly know for sure.
Zelda ended up leaving soon after that conversation. Purah had said that she was itching to get back to her research, and Zelda took the opportunity to leave, not wishing to speak any more about Link.
Pre-calamity her crush on Link was nothing serious, he was there and he made her feel things that other men couldn’t. Once her frustration with him was gone she latched onto the first semblance of attraction that she felt. Now though, her attraction was heavy, almost foreboding. It controlled her thoughts around him. It dictated the way she acted when she was in the room. She was behaving like a love sick teenager. She was terribly embarrassed and Purah’s questioning didn’t torment her any less. She couldn’t even explain her real reason for believing Link had a lover, so she just looked ridiculous.
Her walk back to Link’s cottage was quiet, giving her a chance to relax. There was no need to stress the knight with her secret qualms of the heart. She wouldn’t know how to explain why she was so upset if it came to that.
The door was ajar when she approached the house, likely to air it out before their visit to Kakariko. Link was outside bathing in the pond, unaware of her presence. Zelda felt her chest start to tighten as she watched him. His back was littered with small scars from battles past, all of them paled to the exit scar from his guardian encounter. The more she watched, the more she noticed how fit he was, his back muscles rippling with every grasp at his soap or wash cloth. The water was low enough that she could see the dimples just above his glutes, the image was tantalizing.
He turned before Zelda had the sense to go inside. Zelda yelped and sprinted into the house, leaving her arousal outside where it belongs. It was a miracle she was even able to play it off, she knew better than to snoop, but she had never seen anything like him. He looked like the statues in the castle’s museum, near divine.
Zelda shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She couldn’t even begin to explain to herself why she had watched for so long, it was pathetic if she was being honest. No matter, what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.
Link rushed through the door after her, towel wrapped loosely around his hips, too fast of a movement and it would fall if he wasn’t holding it. “Princess, I am deeply embarrassed, and I am so sorry you had to see me in a state of undress like that.” His voice trembled as he spoke, Zelda wished she could tell him how much she actually liked the view. Though she wasn’t sure he would want her to enjoy him in that way.
“Its alright, I shouldn’t have even looked that way,” she sighed. Her eyes raked down his body, he wasn’t as shy as he once was. Before the calamity, even if they were camping, he would have always been dressed fully before addressing her, even in a situation like this.
Link must have noticed her eyeing him as he started shifting his weight uncomfortably. He nodded to her and turned on his heel, presumably to get dressed.
After he left the silence of the room was oppressive, it beat down on Zelda like she owed it money. She put her head in her hands sighing as loudly as the thin walls allowed her. It was almost comedic how fate makes her look like a fool in every way. She could have told him that it was okay because she was madly in love with him. She could have kissed him right as he was standing in front of her, teasing her with the loosely hung towel. But she was a coward, driven by fear instead of want.
That night the two didn’t speak other than to say their goodnights. Zelda was crushed, she felt like she had ruined their relationship with her hubris and lust. She wanted to explain, to apologize, but she was silent. The words went unspoken on her lips.
She laid in her bed that night, sleep evading her. She thought obsessively about what she could have done differently, to no avail. She knew ruminating didn’t change a thing but she needed to tell herself that there could have been a different outcome, that she wasn’t a failure in every universe.
The day before their trip was mundane, Zelda spent her time at the market picking out clothes for their visit. She wished she could find something nicer, or at least something that wasn’t so drab. Her options were limited to simple dresses or plain tunics. She would have asked Link his opinion if he had come, but he had already spent much of the morning avoiding her.
It was hard controlling her emotions around Link, she felt so volatile in his presence. After being ignored all day it was especially noticeable during dinner. The way he avoided her gaze sent angry pangs down her spine. It was childish to get so worked up about the silent treatment, but it was in her nature at this point.
The moment he stepped in her space to take her plate was the moment that she broke. “Will you ignore me tomorrow too? Or will you have given up by then?” The taunting tone in her voice reminded her of their spats pre-calamity. Or more so, her one-sided aggressions at him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dismissive, he was even avoiding a conversation about it.
“You do. You have been avoiding me since last night. Why?” Pushing his buttons was the only way to get him to show any real emotion. So she would do just that. “Is it because you’re scared? Of me?”
Link was obviously taken aback, his words were carefully chosen, “I have no reason to be scared of you, princess.”
The princess he tacked on to the end of his sentence had a small bite to it, a bit of snark Zelda had almost missed. It gave her the courage to get in his face. “I think you do. You seem to be unsure of your feelings for me. Unaware of our history. And I think it scares you.” She moved closer with every sentence, by the end her nose ghosted his.
Links breath hitched as he move back, distancing himself once again. “Enough, We need rest for tomorrow.” His brow furrowed at her as he spoke, undoubtedly deeming her behavior as unsightly in his head. “Sleep well princess.” He stepped back further and moved around her towards the sink to drop their dishes off.
Zelda moved as well, following him. “Why are you so avoidant?”
Link spoke curtly, “Why are you so pushy?”
‘You’re not pushy enough! Did I do something to upset you, something that you are refusing to talk about?”
He put the dishes down and turned to face her fully. His face was caught in the dim yellow of the kitchen light, his face awash in a stunning glow, anger simmering below the cool expression he kept plastered on his face. “Not at all, you’re making assumptions.”
They looked at each other for a long moment, Zelda drinking in his harsh gaze, the attention she craved. She moved first, slowly, as if she was approaching a scared wounded deer.
Maybe that was exactly what she was doing.
She cupped his face in her palms, his eyes dilating as she watched him. Slowly she moved her face to his, stopping just before their lips touched. An almost kiss.
“Tell me to stop and I will.” Her voice barely a whisper as she spoke.
Link said nothing, he only rested his hands on her waist. Barely touching, but there none the less.
Zelda stepped back in trepidation. Her anger fueled lust had made her bold, but she was still the same inexperienced girl whispering with Impa about her crush. Still the same stupid girl who could never be as audacious as she felt in her mind. So she stepped back, putting space between them once again, almost wishing an ocean of space would form and wash her away.
Link leaned into the space as she moved back. His eyes locked on hers, his grip on her waist tightening for a moment, then releasing. Zelda felt tingles rush to where his hands were, her hips felt empty without them.
Without a word he stalked past her towards the stairs, if there was a door at the top of them Zelda thought he might have slammed it. She was left in the kitchen as alone as she was the night before, repetition of her humiliation.
