#lockdownphase2

[t4fourandmore]

Sometimes....

I haven’t “blogged” for a while and, oh my, how the world has changed since my last entry! If someone had told me any of the following at the beginning of the year I’d have said they were completely bonkers:

A face mask is the new must have accessory

You won’t see or hug your bf for almost 3 months

You won’t be able to freely hug your Mum or friends or anyone outside of your “bubble”

You’ll have a support bubble (I never even knew what one of them was!)

You’ll be social distancing from March onwards (I never even knew that was a thing in January!)

You’ll have to queue 2 meters apart to get in a charity shop

You’ll be working via Zoom and supporting children remotely

All big cities in the world will have weeks being like ghost towns....no people, no cars.....

We won’t be able to go on holiday

Like many, I’m still trying to get my head round everything and frustrated that there seems to be no end in sight.  

Sometimes I’m fearful, sometimes I feel blessed that I’m safe and have a job, sometimes I worry about catching the virus and being one of the ones that gets it badly because of my age and being post cancer treatment, sometimes I can trust God to know that I am safe in his hands, sometimes I think I had it back in February after I travelled to Spain and hope that means I’ll be ok, sometimes I worry I might pass it on unwittingly to someone vulnerable if I’m one of the 80% who are asymptomatic, sometimes I wish my eldest was back home safe in the nest with the other 2 chicks, sometimes I’m glad he’s in a country where it is so much safer from Covid than here, sometimes I wish we would go back into lockdown when I felt safe in my little house with no outside contact, sometimes I’m terrified I’ll have to go back into lockdown with no outside contact (when I wrote this we weren’t in lockdown phase 2!), sometimes I feel grateful I had that time with just my 2 teenagers and I in the house, sometimes I struggle being the only “adult” with two teenage dependents and all the adolescent behaviours to go with it, sometimes I wish things would go back to normal, sometimes I’m terrified things will go back to normal, sometimes I worry about the effects this is going to have on the wider population long term, sometimes I worry there will be another virus, maybe an even worse one……so many thoughts and worries, concerns and sadness on this coronacoaster we are on.  

As I’ve said before, sometimes we can only take a day at a time, and as Corrie Ten Boom so wisely said: 

But, we are only human and it’s quite normal to worry about things….. I’ve learnt over the years that it’s ok to have these worries but it’s best to notice them and let them go instead of dwelling on them.  There is a piece of scripture that always helps me when I feel myself starting to dwell on any worries: 

As I finish this blog entry we are now in lockdown phase 2.  As with everything the reality of it, for me, is not as bad as I imagined.  T3 is still in school, I am still working and this time, I can still be in a support bubble and see bf.  I can meet my Mum for one plus one walk and there is still Zoom!  And although it is now winter, the last few days the sun has come out and it’s been really pleasant with all the beautiful autumn colours.....if you look for blessings you will see them everywhere...I promise.  Stay safe and “see” you on the other side!