end of semester evaluation: fall 2014 edition
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it." Song of Solomon 8:6-7a
God's love is more sure than the fact that everyone will die one day. God's steadfast love endures throughout all the ages and is more tenacious in pursuing you than your own future grave is.
"You hem me in behind and before, and lay your hand upon me." Psalm 139:5
This verse so succinctly but powerfully displays not only God's affection... but His JEALOUS, RELENTLESS affection. see, when we read this verse we get the mental picture of God giving us some cute hug from behind or something. but the etiology of the word "hem" in the original translations is more accurately described by the same Greek word for "to lay siege on". in this context, "hem" actually means "to beleaguer". it's like a vast army that just surrounds and encapsulates a small town on all sides, leaving no room for escape. basically, you're not getting out of here. you almost don't have a choice. that's God's love for you.
what i'm trying to say is that as i look back on this semester, it was definitely the hardest one yet, and i dare say (if i am not too naive) that it will go down as the hardest one in all of college. but again, God's love is jealous for me. to be honest, sometimes i cry when i think about this. i am in such an arduous time of my life. don't get me wrong, God is showing me a lot in this... but it's so dang hard. but the fact that i'm living and that i even have a wonderful family, beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ, a loving church, a brotherly, amazing marine/friend/coleader/brother that is leaving soon (Jin Kang), and so many other things... LORD, why so good to me?!?? You could have left me in my own sin and even that would have been a just act. You could have withheld Your hand from blessing me, and even that would have been what i actually deserve. You are jealous for me. I want to be jealous for You. may my goal not be any of these riches or blessings, but may my goal be Jesus Christ himself.
look, i just came back from a beautiful brother's appreciation, and it was awesome. these sisters made me realize how amazing our Lord is that we serve, and what a blessed Redeemer He is. my heart wells up with thanksgiving looking back on everything. new things are happening, old things are receding. in this constant flow of time, it's hard to not be overwhelmed with all the unfamiliar things God is taking you through. but the steadfast love of God is constant. it never ceases. i'm always carried by His grace, and hoooly dang am i relieved that i can even say that and have it be true. how would life be without His grace? take some time to imagine that. what a horror.
truly, God loves you and is pursuing you too, reader.
