if only i'd known how much trouble you'd bring me. you put something into motion inside of me, beck. something quiet and hungry and full of want and will. you have ignited something inside of me, beck... a desire to be. let me be the man you always wanted — let me protect you, keep you close, tucked between the rungs of my ribs and revere every second we breathe as one. i wanted to be everything for you, untangle every caught breath and anxious nerve from that scrambled brain of yours and show you exactly how to survive in a world that wants to dull your brightness.
do you know how hard it is to kill a man? i'm not talking about the ones already under my belt — they all deserved it, in their own toxic masculinity bullshit type way. but to really kill someone? all the variables, the things that could go wrong even when you're doing it for the right reasons. because that's what this is, isn't it? the right reasons.
you fucking wanted this. you flipped your hair and i'm expected to — what, ignore it? you came to me like some breath of fresh air, and you wanted me to follow you. to find you. to fix you. and that's what i did.
don't get me wrong. i don't believe moulding you in plexiglass was the best case scenario for us, but we were in love. we are in love. but this...? this gives you... clarity. a clarity that only the box can bring. it's time to write. its' time to figure out your next moves.
"are you hungry?"
it's like a warhead spinning colossally back down to earth, ready to scorch earth between us and blow up our pretty little bubble.
A gender system exclusively for Hellenic Pagans who worship Dionysos, and may feel that their worship impacts their gender and/or simply relates to mythical members of his cult. Cis and binary individuals may use the terms. One may also use a term associated with a gender they are not if it fits—ie a binary trans man with a connection to the maenads may be maedic, if they identify as such.
If you don't like religiogenders, you're allowed to keep scrolling and ignore this post :)
Dionysian Gender/Dionygender
Both an umbrella for anyone using the Dionysian gender system and a gender identity for someone whose gender is influenced by or tied to their worship of Dionysos.
Colors based on the sacred colors of Dionysos
Black for nonconformity/chaos
Shades of green for life, nature, viticulture, and masculinity
White for community and trans, nonbinary and intersex people
Shades of red-pink for power and femininity
Purple for blurred lines, wine, and androgyny
Maedic/Maegender
Named after the Maenads, the female members of the Cult of Dionysos also known as the Bacchae. Refers to a feminine, female, neutral, or female-associated gender of experience. Specifically, women, all genders of lesbians and sapphics, AFAB non-women who feel their relation to femininity impacts their gender/experience, feminine non-binary people, and anyone of any gender with a tie to femininity. This gender is also associated with power, freedom, chaos, and appreciation of women (romantically, aesthetically, sexually, conceptually, etc.).
Red for power, wine, and blood
Shades of red-pink for power and the spectrum of femininity
White for community and trans, nonbinary, and intersex people
Orange-gold for leopard skins and wild nature
Brown for wild nature, forests, and the thyrsos staff
Black for nonconformity and chaos
Thyrsoan/Thyrsogender
Named after the thyrsos, a staff associated with Dionysos and his cult. Refers to a neutral, mixed, fluid, or otherwise androgynous or agender experience. Specifically, anyone who falls outside the gender binary, is non-cis but feels their relation to their AGAB affects their gender, or who bends gender roles and presentation. This gender is also associated with revelry, devotion, power, and love (of any kind towards anything).
Olive green for forests
Shades of green for life, viticulture, and the spectrum of masculinity
White for community and trans, nonbinary, and intersex people
Brown for wild nature, mixing of gender and presentations, nonconformity, and the thrysos staff
Shades of red for power, wine, and the spectrum of femininity
Satyrian/Satyrigender
Named after the Satyrs, the half-faun male member of the Cult of Dionysos. Refers to a masculine, male, neutral, or male-associated gender of experience. Specifically, men, all genders of achilleans, AMAB non-men who feel their relation to masculinity impacts their gender/experience, masculine non-binary people, and anyone of any gender with a tie to masculinity. This gender is also associated with freedom, revelry, impulsivity, community, and wildness.
Dark brown for forests, wood, and hooves
Brown for wild nature, fur, deer, stags, and nonconformity
Golden-brown for sun and strength
White for community and trans, nonbinary, and intersex people
Shades of green for life and the spectrum of masculinity
Olive green for forests and fertility
Bonus: Symbols for the genders! From left to right they’re Maedic, Thyrsoan, and Satyrian
TERFS, exclusionists, anti-MOGAI, folkists, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, antitheists, cringe/flop accs, etc. DNI
Despite New York’s many, many faults, Zero can appreciate its dedication to the arts.
Every week, he takes the reality-warping shortcut through the woods to see at least one of Felix’s performances. Visiting so often—and sometimes staying for days at a time—he has taken to wandering the countless art districts in his idle hours, acclimating himself to the city. There’s a lot to see, so much that he could probably spend years exploring without a moment of rest and not cover it all.
Today, he visited the Museum of Modern Art, then read some self-published zines at a queer anarchist cafe. After that, he visited a pop-up sculpture garden by an independent artist, where he heard about an underground jazz concert that would be happening in a few hours; naturally he attended that, too. One of the musicians recognized him from an Angelo film and invited him to an afterparty at a friend’s gallery, which he gladly accepted. Now, hazy from expensive wine and East Coast weed, he’s settled into a corner booth at a trendy late-night poetry bar.
There’s an open mic. The girl up there now is pretty and nervous and sincere. Her voice is sweet. The poem @maenaed shares is nothing special, but there’s something there; with the right push, she might just create something worthwhile.
She stalls in the middle of a stanza. He locks eyes with her. Feeling generous, he offers a faint, encouraging smile, then extends his will inside of her to steady her anxious pulse.
