Tamtey watched Mäzan stare at Alma’s shack. Not a lot had been said but there was a… sense of caution that now laid between the couple since their return from Hometree. They were worried. Alma was inside now, talking with Anqa about the resource reclamation from her morning adventures but she was curious about the Meitayo warrior and why he looked like he was holding in a very painful fart.
“<Waiting for Alma to come out?>” Tamtey asked as she finally moved to join him. She could see the blinds were half-down, revealing a messy bed with Alma’s nightwear thrown down onto of the pillows. Alma didn’t strike her as someone who was messy but… it seemed less relevant to think about.
Mäzan’s head turned, looking to her for a moment then back to the shack. “<I wish for a bigger door to be installed.>” he stated, “<I cannot enter my wife’s metal home.>”
“<It’s too small?>”
“<Yes, for me at the least. My top half is broader than that of people of the forest. I am too wide and tall..>”
Tamtey nodded slowly. She could see that. He was massive. So’lek was about nose-height to this Na’vi. “<Is your tall stature due to your home territory, as a man from the swamp islands?>”
“<Yes, that is a factor but… my family are known to being quite tall. I am the second shortest between my siblings. When she carried our first child, Alma was quite relieved to learn our size comes in after birth.>”
Tamtey resisted a snort. “<Why do you want to enter her home?>”
Mäzan paused a moment. “<Etuwa had highlighted a medical concern with this current pregnancy. We’re to be careful to ensure the tsalnu pod does not rupture. She cannot join us in our hammock outside, but I wish to be able to rest beside her little form to upkeep our physical bonds.”
Tamtey desperately hoped he was implying hugging and sleeping beside each other, not… sex. Though, as much as she hated that line of thought, there was a stem of curiosity in the logistics because… humans and Na’vi were very different. Size wise alone was the first hurdle. She had to assume Alma’s human form was half-his size. How could that possibly work if he could easily break her pelvis? His hands were the size of her chest, certainly. Internal harm was very likely. It… honestly sounded a little horrific to endure or risk for brief pleasures.
“<Won’t you hurt her?>” The question left her lips before she could stop it, her tone heavily with concern.
Mäzan’s ear twitched, soft understanding in his expression. “<There is risk. I am… very aware of her human limits and durability. She is also aware.>”
Tamtey swallowed uneasily. “<But you have hurt her before>”
Mäzan didn’t look her in the eye, down to the shack again. “<I did. She has forgiven me on the matter and she was medically tended to. It was a while ago. I understand your concern for her.>”
“<Human and Na’vi are not supposed to be sexually compatible. No offence, but what humans have in their underwear cannot possibly holster a Na’vi instrument. Tearing, blunt force trauma or even prolapse can assure in such delicate placed to the human woman.>” How was the risks worth pleasure? How could Alma think it was safe or sane to try?
“The human body is resilient. Unprepared, there is harm. No control, there is harm. I have been with Alma for almost sixteen years now. Do you think we rush into things blindly? That I would force myself beyond her capabilities?>” Mäzan turned to face her properly. “<We are consenting adults, Tamtey. We know each other’s bodies, in her case, both of them to know what she can and cannot do.>” His voice was firm now. “<If you want to know the details, I can give them to you but that is me going into great personal details about our sex lives.>”
Tamtey winced. Nope, she didn’t want to know all that. “<No, I’m sorry. It just… doesn’t make that much sense to me.>”
“<It doesn’t have to. You’re not in a relationship with a human. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do expect that respect what me and my wife has without judgement.>”
“<Sorry.>”
Mäzan nodded simply, then sighed deeply. “<I’ll discuss options with Alma later once she’s done.>” He decided, “<I cannot think of any productive in terms of her sleeping arrangements currently.>”
“<What are your plans?>” Tamtey asked, “<I’ve had a busy morning, but I want to do something more mundane this afternoon.>”
“<When will you next go to Etuwa?>”
“<Tomorrow, when the nectar is ready.>”
“<Swamp hive is least active at dusk, less risk of being stung.>” Mäzan pointed out.
Tamtey pursed her lips. Dusk, practically another whole day. But, she trusted that Mäzan knew perfectly well on what was best. Might be better for Nefika and Etuwa to sneak away at night too? “<Thank you.>”
“<I’m going to gather some more fibre for my daughter’s projects. Since she’s grounded, she’s not allow out to gather so… I will appease her boredom with collecting her fibres.” Mäzan stated, “<You’re welcome to join me.>”
Tamtey considered the option for a moment. There was a lot she could be doing, but… she did like the idea of a chill day. Tomorrow, it was going to be busy so… why not? She could do with collecting stuff together, maybe make a new shirt? She could do with a wider variety of attire.
“<Sure.>”
Mäzan showed her the collection of gathering baskets and so, she joined him on the back of his Ikran, balancing both baskets on straps as they went. Her hands gripped his sides but the flight wasn’t too long, despite passing Hometree, passing by the swamp before Mäzan landed them close to the river.
“<This area holds an excellent amount of kllpxiwll, or Lionberry, as you may know the sky people version>” Mäzan said, gesturing to a large, familiar plant she had passed by often. She wasn’t totally ignorant, she knew it was a plant often used for it’s fibres but she didn’t realise the flower buds were different colours. “<This area, the quality of the plants are far healthier and so, better quality. You see, the blue and the orange heads. That is what I plan to collect.>”
“<How much do you need?>”
“<A lot.>” Mäzan admitted, “<Tsengì is making another hammock if the project set side is any indication>”
“<Another?>”
“<Alma’s Dreamwalker can no longer be resting with us at night. Etuwa think too much weight upon her rounding belly might… do unwanted damage to the baby’s development.>”
So, they needed a separate hammock, Tamtey could see where that made sense. “<Do you not already have spares?>” Tamtey followed him towards the plants, carefully twisting off the orange heads at a delicate angle as he did.
“<We did, but when you were rescued, we gifted them to you and resumed our family hammock.>”
Tamtey paused, surprised. “<Those aren’t general hammocks?>”
Mäzan peered about the plant, lips pursed in soft amusement. “<No. Na’vi don’t tend to live about our area outside their camps Even So’lek has his own camp. He rarely sleeps at the HQ unless he’s exhausted or has too much to drink.>”
Tamtey nodded softly, “<I’m surprised Alma doesn’t join you in your hammock once she unlinks.>”
Mäzan let out a longing sigh. “<I wish it was that simple, Tamtey. I’d love for her to join us in the family hammock but… with the boys, they roll about a lot more. Since she was smaller and weaker, their sleeping weight may do unintentional harm.>”
“<But they can join her in her shack without a problem?>” Tamtey pointed out, confused because surely there was no difference.
“<A bed is flat, a hammock is concave. They roll easier and quicker on a concave surface to the centre of the hammock. A small human is… easy to roll and pin down than it is on a flat surface of a bed.>” Mäzan explained. “<Alma also wears a bio monitor if our children sleep in her bed, if she does get stuck or is in potential danger, we’ll be alerted before harm is done. We take risks seriously.>”
Tamtey nodded softly, moving to a new plant with her basket. “<Why do they choose her bed, rather than stay with you and the Dreamwalker?>”
“<Sometime they want their mother’s comfort. The Dreamwalker cannot wake nor sleep, unable to hug them freely or cuddle them as they desire at night. With my wife’s small form, they can get that, even with the discomfort of their own masks. Human air, will wake us if our masks slip off, but our air is far more deadly so we don’t like the risks of her mask getting pulled off in the night.>”
“<Sounds… like a complicated living situation.>” Tamtey could see it wasn’t easy.
Mäzan let out an agreeing chuckle. “<No, but it works for now.>”
Their chat was… easy going as they harvested, taking mostly the blue and orange fibre heads and left the purple ones growing before he lead her towards another area of plants to harvest the palm like leaves and then lastly, bruise moss from the river sides.
“<Acrid pods, take them. I can show you have you can turn these into poison arrow heads when we return.>” Mäzan said, carefully harvesting the handful on the rock before holding them out.
Tamtey slipped them into her hip pouch with a nod. “<Thank you>”
“<Don’t use them on collecting meat for food or medical hunts. You’ll spoil the kill.>” he added.
“<Just for RDA.>”
“<Basically. The acrid can be turned into air and infect their breathing boxes. It won’t kill them but it can compromise then enough to get a killing shot. Even in their metal walkers.>”
Tamtey brightened up, “<Thank you.>”
Mäzan paused, his blue lip pursing a moment as he considered his next few words. She watched as she shadowed, curious on what he wanted to say.
“<What?>” She prodded, when he didn’t say anything.
“<I am… cautious on how thrilled you are about killing.>”
Tamtey blinked. “<What? But don’t you want the RDA gone?>” Sounded very… counterproductive.
Mäzan set down his basket, gesturing to sit close to the river’s edge which, she realised was close to the swamp. “<It is… more of my Meitayo culture that is where my caution stems from. While I do wish Eywa to be free and the lands without the sky people, the blood of death is… a burden. Especially when there is joy taken in its deliverance.>”
“<You don’t think we should kill them?>” Tamtey asked, confused. She knew sky people all too well; they’d never hesitate to kill a Na’vi, so… they had to think of killing them was a necessity to spare everyone else.
“<No.>”
Tamtey let out a frustrating sigh. “<When where is the problem?”
“<Thoughtless death.>” Mäzan said tightly, “<Yes, it is important to remove the presence of sky people, but I don’t believe that they should be killed in joy or to be relished in, or that killing for the sake of killing is okay.>”
“<But the Sky people—>”
“<are still people.>” Mäzan interrupted. “<I gave my daughter this lesson recently too when we took down the sky people site close to the HQ. Yes, we must rid the sky people from the lands and I don’t doubt that they’ll do harm and death to us and what they have done to you in the past.>” He turned to her fully, eyes heavy. “<They are still people. Tasked by superior warriors to be where they are and what they do and protect. They have friends around them and they have their families a world away with context and reasons to why they are here to start with.>”
Tamtey’s lips pursed. “<They aren’t innocent.>”
“<No, They’re not. But… the resistance, they are people, are they not>”
Tamtey’s eye twitched. “<They are.>”
“<Would you kill them?>”
“<No!>” She gasped at the question. “<They’re allies! Friends.>”
“<Because there is an establish connection. Emotional connection and a shared goal towards Pandora. I’m certain there are a good few RDA sky people who wish to defect but not realised the options, or know how so they stand at their posts and protect the sites they’ve been told to.>”
“<It’s not the same thing.>”
“<But there is that potential.>” Mäzan said calmly. “<I state that only to keep you aware of those risks with each life taken.>”
“<Noted, fine, but most of the sky people wouldn’t hesitate to kill us on sight.>”
“<Death and killing is no black and white situation. It’s easier to kill things we> dehumanise>” he switched to English for that word, “<in our heads. Stripping people of identities or of who they are. They do it to us, we do it to them. Meitayo people are taught that life must be taken with thought, if a life must be taken. You are killing someone’s parent or child, or a member of someone’s world. They will never go home, or get given funeral rites of their way. There is weight, regardless.>”
Tamtey settled a little, the more he spoke. She could feel he… put a lot of emphasis and emotion behind it. “<Why those teachings?>”
“<We almost lost our entire clan to a war that did not need to happen. Our people’s deaths… were for near nothing and the Zeswa were gleeful to be victorious.>” His breath paused, expression turning tight with an old, ancient pain that she… could feel. Loss so deep to the heart. “<They did not care who they killed in their revenge or vengeance over a… miscommunication. Two thirds of our people, gone. Our rookery and innocent Ikran were near decimated. The Meitayo are still rebuilding the rookery, even eight decades after the war.>”
Tamtey could feel her eyes prickle, empathises a lot with his words and how his voice shook. “<What happened?>” Her voice carried in the air.
Mäzan stared into the waters, expression turned away from her but she could guess what it was. How he was… feeling. She could only imagine is was similar to that of her own, the loss of her people. How a clan’s pain ran do deep for generations, it was insightful for her own people’s way. What their children may feel.
“<Only one scout survived from that day. My… great-Grandmother, actually. She says that their gathering had led them into deeper Zeswa territory, the Heart of the Plains, north of the Upper plains. The Meitayo and the Zeswa weren’t as close as they are to the clans of the land, than of the islands but we were friendly, even joined them in the Great games when they started up. Even held a gathering camp at the coast for traveling between the island and the mainland.>” he said, fingers picking up a near pebble, fidgeting with it absentmindedly. “<They came across a Zakru mother and her newborn baby but… they saw she was in great pain, but she wasn’t injured. Her child was… weak, too small for a full-term Zakru infant and the cranial crest showed signs of deformity and she had significant untreated tearing from the birth.>”
Tamtey swallowed uneasily. “<They were sick?>”
“<Yes, we Meitayo believed the mother had consumed some poor quality or infected mushroom colonies from the soil and it make her sick. For two days, the gatherers used their supplies to create treatments but nothing was working. The mother stopped eating or drinking. The baby was starving. They were suffering. The scout had already set a signal kite for a Zeswa group to come to tell them to help us ease or to make this choice with us, but none had come in time. So, it was decided to kill the mother and baby and send their spirits to peace in Eywa. So, they did.>”
Tamtey stared into the water, the weight and responsibility for that action; the necessity that came with it. To end a needless suffering to ensure a peaceful transition to Eywa. It would have had to be done.
“<The Zeswa came after they had passed, as we cleaned up. They saw their dead Zakru and did not see their sickness. They did not see the action as mercy. They thought our gatherers had killed a Zakru for no reason so, in anger they killed the gatherers while my great-grandmother escaped into the waters. The Zeswa led the first attack to our gatherer’s camp we had on the coast and word got back to the Heart of our islands. It’s blossomed from there. The war ended three weeks later after the Zeswa targeted our Ikran rookery. We pulled back to preserve what was left.>” his voice shook, hands grasping the pebble between them.
“<Why… didn’t they check?>” Tamtey asked, a part of her trying to wrap her mind around the… reaction. The escalation.
“<The bodies had decomposed enough to hide the sickness by the time we tried to convince them of our reasons.>” Mäzan said, “<They do not think what they did is wrong. They believe Meitayo people escalated the situation by attacking back after they attacked our heartland camp that killed many.>”
“<I’m so sorry.>”
Mäzan spared her a look, his eyes filled with tears. “<Our losses and enemies are not the same. I know the sky people’s war is still ongoing. I know they have hurt you and your people in ways I cannot comprehend. I have not experienced that loss first hand, only endured its weight and shadow from the generations since. But… death is not a light topic. Lives are still lives. My heart burns in anger towards the Zeswa that your heart burns towards the sky people. I cannot hurt the Zeswa or bring myself to kill one needlessly. Because I cannot do that to my former clan. The Zeswa of now did not kill my people. I know, rationally, they are innocent, but the blood of my people stains their clan’s hands as a whole, even if they refuse to acknowledge it.>”
Tamtey nodded slowly. “<I do have the freedom hurt and kill Sky people.>” Which set their predicaments aside because there was different cultural stigmas here. Aliens weren’t the same things as fighting against your own kind but… she could see why he was highlighting that. RDA. Resistance. Foe and Friend with the same faces.
“<I care, Tamtey, is that you do it with awareness. If killing them makes you happy, how will you ever put that bow down once the fighting is over? Where does it end? Where is that line between human friends and human enemies. Killing humans in anger or vengeance… it can hollow your heart out and leave you cold. I have learned the hard way, it is not worth it when it costs you everything you have.>”
Tamtey watched a fish swim upstream, jumping up and out.
“<I’m sorry for what happened.>” Tamtey whispered.
Mäzan inhaled deeply, moving his gaze upwards towards the sky. “<You wouldn’t, if you knew.>”
Tamtey remained quiet.
Mäzan rose to his feet, sinking to his knee into the cool water before coming to kneel into its cool depths, hands hovering on top of its bobbing surface. “<Do you want to know?>”
Tamtey remained quiet for a long moment. A loaded question. He had shared a lot of his pain, he was coasting off that right now and… she was curious but also weary. Would her knowing change her view of him? Was he expecting something of that or something of her by telling her?
“<Do you want to tell me?>” Tamtey asked back. “<I assume Alma knows.>”
Mäzan nodded. “<Yes. We bled our truths to each other before we mated, so we did not bind to falsehoods for the rest of our lives.>” he pull his kuru around and let out a heavy breath as he grasped it for emotional comfort, as all Na’vi did.. “<Tsengì doesn’t yet know, but I know she will be old enough to understand it soon.>”
Tamtey reached forwards, her hand touching his shoulder. “<Then the truth can wait. Your daughter should know first before me.>”
Mäzan’s shoulder’s relaxed.
-
Tamtey’s mind churned as she sat quietly, spinning absentmindedly with the fresh fibres, watching a little as she saw the few human people outside, masked up and prodding at the flora with their hands or metal devices.
Humans.
She knew there was black and white in battle; between life and death because if you didn’t kill, you would be killed. A certainty. Could there be more humans, with morals but choosing to stay at a place that was familiar? A comfort? How long would they stay before they had enough?
Daniela had enough after some time and left with her husband. It took time to decide. Even Priya had been RDA before she saw what was truly happening. Anqa had said that people didn’t know what Alma had been a part of in the RDA before the rebellion. Many people didn’t know one truth from another.
Tamtey could feel how… that made things go from stark contrast to mixed grey. Staying was a choice. But so was leaving, and the RDA were making efforts to prevent resistant recruitments, so not everyone knew possibilities.
RDA sites had to be cleared, that was a matter of fact; for Eywa to recover and reclaim her lands. She knew Teylan was very aware of the loss of human life, given how attached he was to their kind but she felt he lacked awareness of the loss of Pandoran lives in this fight, not just against Mercer but also the RDA.
“<Sarentu.>”
She blinked back to herself, her head turning to see So’lek standing a few feet away, a bow in hand. “<So’lek.>” She greeted, “Sorry, I’m just lost in thought.”
So’lek’s head tilted before he spared a look to the humans she had been staring at. “<A problem?>”
“<Just… reflecting on Mäzan’s words.>” She said, “<He values human lives, he had a lot to say.>”
“<That does not surprise me. He disapproves of my collections.>” So’lek didn’t touch the dog tags to show her but she knew what he meant.
“<You don’t share that view?>”
“<Not to the same degree, but I appreciate the wisdom of his words.>” So’lek joined her without further prompt, clearly sensing there was more to say here than just passing by.
“<I go out of my way to find those responsible for the death of my clan. I do not go in blind when I seek my vengeance. It is calculated and with purpose.>” So’lek answered. “<I have an end goal.>”
“<Excluding general RDA conflicts here.>” Tamtey added in, though hesitated. “<he.. told me what happened to his clan. What the Zeswa did to them.>” Her stomach turned uneasily. “<Is that true or is there a natural bias in that story?>”
So’lek hesitated. “<I know of his clan’s history with the Zeswa and… I cannot say. What proof was there, is long since gone. We Na’vi do not have the capabilities to know.>”
“<The Zeswa killed all but one of those who were there that knew the truth>” it sounded… like there was a deeper story. A single survivor escaping could have been an easy mistake if the Zeswa killed the gatherers before realising their mistake, that it had been mercy, but that just grew out of their control when they tried to tame it. “<A single Meitayo voice could easily be discredited with enough time and shifting blame.>”
“<You have only heard one side of the story. The Zeswa’s side of the story may equally be true.>” So’lek said, “<One day, you will meet the Zeswa and I do not wish for you to be afraid of them. They are not the people who struck up war with the swamp people.>”
Tamtey gave him a soft, sour look. “<It’ll be hard given I know their clan slaughtered a whole lot of people over a potential misunderstanding.>”
“<We do not know the whole story.>” So’lek pressed.
Tamtey fixed So’lek with a long, tired look. “<I know pain. You and I are both part of two clans that was so reduced because of the sky people. Our losses will last generations. I never thought I could see what that will look like in eighty years but I see that in Mäzan. Yes, the Meitayo may be guilty and the Zeswa took it too far but the impact they inflicted.... how is that okay to the people? How is there no shame on the Zeswa for it? Because they won?>” Tamtey set her spinner down, shifting on her knees, her eyes welling. “<And what if the Zeswa are guilty and the Meitayo truly killed a Zakru out of mercy? They butchered gatherers and a camp and expected them not to defend their people?>” Tamtey pressed. “<What does that mean?>”
So’lek stared, his expression pulled in with a delicate frown, taking a moment before he carefully chose his words. “<I cannot answer those questions, Sarentu. It is truly a difficult quandary. I cannot judge the Zeswa of now to what they did eighty years ago. They are different people. They are innocent of their grandparent’s crimes, if there is any truth.>”
Tamtey snorted, but not in amusement. “<There has to be some way to find out the truth.>”
“<It’s unlikely. Zeswa do not allow just anyone near the remains. It’s a sacred site and very far away in their ancestral lands>” So’lek said. “<but for now, we are in the Aranahe and dealing with the Sky people in this forest. Some spirits in the past do not need to be woken. Let them rest, Tamtey.>”
“<Oh, using my actual name now, are we?>” She tried to ease the tension, but it fell flat. “<Do you think there’ll be any conflict with the Zeswa given Mäzan’s presence here?>”
“<No, He’s not much of a threat on his own. Tsengì… might be a problem but she’ll sooner fight Nor than a trained Zeswa warrior.>”
“<Why is Nor catching strays in this hypothetical situation?>”
tracklist:
0:00 Silent Hill 2 – Pianissimo Epilogue
3:00 Kamaitachi no Yoru - Visions of a Distant Day
10:50 Super Mario 64 – Big Boo’s Haunt Music
15:05 Super Castlevania IV – Stage 3: The Waterfall
17:45 Silent Hill 3 – In Monochrome Night
22:10 Sonic Adventure – Fakery Way …For Twinkle Park
25:55 Resident Evil 4 – Save Theme
29:10 Resident Evil Remake – Save Heaven
32:10 Earthbound – Moonside’s Theme
35:40 Super Mario Galaxy – Ghostly Galaxy
39:05 Final Fantany VI – Phantom Train
39:35 Resident Evil: Code Veronica – The Palace of The Insane
41:00 Parasite Eve – Phrase of Aya
42:40 Dino Crisis – Set You At Ease
44:30 Final Fantasy VII – Who Are You
47:00 Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – Shadow Temple
51:40 Resident Evil: Code Veronica – A Moment of Relief
52:20 Resident Evil 4 - Serenity
Do you know the name of an arcade game that is set in feudal Japan? I think you play as a ninja. The intro to the game shows some guy turning into a cat monster holding an unconcious woman in his arms. The controller was a rubber katana you swung around to fight your opponents and the cat monster.
This is a special content today. I have been pretty busy lately so going on hikes hasn’t been in my priorities sadly.
But I thought I’d share thiose pictures of the year that just passed. They all come from Ardèche obviously but from many different places. All places and moments that I deeply enjoy/enjoyed.
