The promise you couldn’t keep
Summary: You had a future. A future full of love hope and happiness together with Loki. He had promised you this after all. But sometimes promises couldn’t be kept and futures could be broken…
You had hoped, you had believed, god, you even prayed to which ever higher being there might be… but in the end you still lost…so much.
The nightmare you’ve always feared the most became true.
You were kneeing on the ground next to Thor who looked like a total mess, who was a total mess. Bleeding, bruised and at the end of his powers.
You were also feeling like a piece of shit; it seemed that with every passing second it became harder and harder to breath and your whole body was burning of pain.
But no matter the physical pain, it was your heart, your mental stability that was being torn apart right now.
You had a good view passed the member of the black order, who held both you and Thor in capture. It seemed like they had great pleasure seeing you tortured and in vain, while they gave you just sadisticly enough room to see him standing not far away from you.
“No…no…no, please, no…” these words were constantly coming out of your mouth like water, silent and not seeming to stop any soon.
But no words, no cries, no pleads could stop him from his next words.
“Almighty Thanos”, he pledged “I, Loki, prince of Asgard…Odinson.”
Loki, your beloved, brave and yet so stupid Loki stopped his sentence for a second to give his brother a short look, laying all of his faith and love in it.
Before his gaze shifted to you…
And everything just seemed to die inside of you.
You tried to move, struggling to get out of the hands that were holding you firmly in their grip.
Loki put every bit of sorrow, desire, and the deepest pleading for forgiveness in his gaze. It was his last goodbye to you, you realized horrified.
This was the last straw. A sudden impact of adrenaline appeared in your veins, giving you strength and a big amount of anger. And you used this power to push past a member of the order who stood next to you, trying to get out… trying to get to Loki and stopping him from a decision he had already made a long time ago.
But you were only able to make a few pathetic steps forward before a woman punched you hard in your stomach, causing you to bend over in pain.
A frustrated gasp escaped you and a strand of wet hair felt in your face.
The next second you were already dragged back again by rough arms and no fighting was of any use.
You looked up… just out of an impulse… meeting once more Loki’s eyes which were now full of utter sadness.
As you tried again to get your arm out of the firm, hurtful grip your gaze landed on the cold ring you wore on your thumb. But it was so much more than just a mere ring… it was a promise, a future, a sign of hope.
The day Hela had attacked Asgard you had returned together with Loki to fight her off and save your home.
You still remembered how he hold your hand firmly in his as you two walked out of the space ship, greeted by Asgardians who had gathered around to meet their prince.
You could nearly feel Loki’s soft hand in yours again...
Then Thor had come and Valkyrie… and the four of you fought against Hela’s army.
Loki had never left your side, not even for a second. You two were always fighting back to back, defending and keeping each other safe.
And of course never missing an opportunity to tease the other or you just being the target of Loki’s sarcasm.
And like at the end of every battle green eyes would flicker up and down your body in what you recognized as a visual check for any injuries.
But this day Loki had pulled you into a deep kiss. You had noticed the sudden change, the way he watched you, the way he held you almost every single moment as if you would just vanish, dissolve into air.
You laid a hand on his cheek and stroke softly a strand of his dark hair behind his ear.
“Tell me, my dear… everything will turn alright, won’t it? We will save Asgard and defeat Hela. And then there will be just the two of us, right?”
You were naïve, and you knew that. You knew that there are by far worse things the future has in hand for you than just a crazy sister.
Loki bent down and pressed his lips softly on your forehead, causing you to close your eyes, eager to keep this memory for ever, safe in your heart.
“I love you, Y/N. And by Odin I’ve never thought I would ever feel this way, yet alone say these words to someone but you… you are my life now and I promise you someday this will all end and we will have peace.”
You took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. Just wanting to believe his words of a happy ending.
“Here,” the god said and took a ring of his finger -the one in his colours, green and gold. “I’ve wanted to get you a proper one but it seems like this won’t happen in the near future.”
Loki took your hand carefully in his, as though he feared you would burst into dust. He pulled the ring on your thumb where it fit just perfectly, because your fingers were way smaller than his.
You held your breath, feeling like your heart wanted to explode in fireworks and confetti any second.
“This is my promise, Y/N,” he continued and gently lifted your chin so he could look deep into your now teary eyes. “My promise to always love you, always care for you and I promise I will be with you as long as you want me to.”
•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•─̇•
Back in the cruel reality you looked down at the ring, which sparkled for a moment, mocking you, showing you all the things you would never have, which will be ripped apart just in front of your eyes.
What a cruel joke of the universe.
You looked up and you knew it was the last time you saw his green, stunning eyes. Eyes which were blurred by the tears that were now streaming down your face.
He wouldn’t keep his promise…
Loki closed his eyes for one single second and when he opened them again his now cold, determined gaze landed on Thanos. “-The rightful king of Jotunheim, god of mischief,” he continued. “Do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity.”
His voice broke, just tiny bit. And your heart stopped when Loki pulled out a knife, immediately striking to cut Thano’s throat .
Of course Thanos wasn’t dumb enough to fall for this.
No. The knife vanished and a hand appeared on Loki’s thrat instead.
“Undying?” The Titan sneered and grined triumphantly as Loki squirmed to get out of his deadly grip.
These were the last words you heard, the last whisper of a hero… who still fought even when death was already reaching for him.
You would never forget the sound of Loki’s neck cracking. Never. It will forever haunt you in your dreams alongside with Thor’s shout of pure pain.
Your world turned numb. You didn’t register falling onto your knees, you didn’t register the loud and broken cry escaping you. You only felt this unbearable pain and there was this whole new experience of having your heart literally torn apart.
Thanos stepped in front of you and watched you with pure despise in his eyes before he throw Loki’s body carelessly on the ground, as if he was a merely a sack of thrash.
Loki’s eyes, which had always been filled with mischief, with so much life… were now utterly empty- staring into nothing.
This was the moment you completely collapsed.
Somewhere the world turned purple due to the use of an infinity stone, Thanos and his clan vanished and left you and Thor alone, shattered and broken.
Thor fell down on his knees, holding his brother’s arm. “Loki… wake up,” he gasped. “Come on, brother, I know… you can’t be… you can’t…”
Gently you stroke Loki’s dark hair out of his bruised face, sobbing and barely breathing.
“Come on… You promised me… you promised me to never let me alone. I need you…”
But none of your pleadings were heard.
His soul was gone, and with him a part of your own.
