I saw your ask to misandry-mermaid and wanted to ask a question about it. My understanding was a good ally should amplify the voices of the marginalized group when they aren't present, so I try to call out transphobia when in groups of all cis people, and explain what makes their actions problematic. Is this wrong? I'm asking with all respect and seriousness, I'm not trying to be argumentative, It's important to me not to speak over, or try to speak for trans people.
I actually really like answering questions so never fear, this is a good place for you to be. ;)
As for the question you actually asked, calling out transphobia is way way different from answering questions about trans people. If someone does something transphobic it’s good ally behavior to tell them to stop and why, even if what you say isn’t 100% accurate (but please really try hard to be… and also try to graciously accept any criticism when you’re inevitably corrected eue;;; don’t do anything that can possibly be taken as arguing by an already-disgruntled marginalized person bc that will not end well for you).
This is because transphobic cis people will only listen to cis people. For whatever reason, people feel that an outside source is always more credible than an inside (or, god forbid, a first person) one, because outside sources never make things up to make themselves look good or push a narrative for any kind of an ulterior motive (heh… radfems).
In short, if you actually are trans, you are inherently a horribly biased non-source that can’t be trusted for beans. ouo b
This is why it’s actually notably transphobic and not just a brush-off when someone goes and asks another cis person if x is okay by trans people or not.
They’re essentially assuming it’s okay to say that since they don’t know any trans people personally (which is a red flag all on its own), they’re just going to ask a cis ally they’ve seen before and call it a day, because a cis ally is as close as they can get to a trans person.
It’s sort of like saying Rachel Dolezal is as close as you can get to a black person, so you’re just going to ask her all your questions about black lives.
The fact that this person thinks that’s a valid system says a lot about how little they’re invested in the trans community, huh?
The fact that they decided to do a husband and wife duo of Han Solo and Leia with the genders “swapped” for absolutely no reason while knowing that was probably transphobic, and THEN decided to ask a cis person about it, says even more to me…
But any old how, speaking out against transphobia isn’t anything like that at all, so, it’s perfectly fine! As a matter of fact, keep doing it!!
