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I’ve kinda lost hope that any of the main cast is going to be This Guy, but desperately want at least one npc somewhere in MSQ to be like “what do you mean “our neighbors” they appeared in our home out of nowhere and took it over!!! They’re not “just as much a part of Tural”!!! What!!!” (Wrt the Alexandrians)

#more journaling #like just one guy. for me. i cant be the only one saying this Every Time someone calls alexandrians neighbors #like i think even honey with how stupid and susceptible to jangling keys would very quickly after learning a little bit about s9 be like #that sounds bad whaaat :( and not be happy about the triple shot caramel macchionster energy he’s drinking

I keep most of it contained in private chats/irl conversations with close friends but trust that I have had many a Moment Of Insanity wrt 14 story the past few years but can i be so real. Rebirth ending sparked from me a 10x worse crashout lol

#more journaling #see i can sit down and calmly discuss what i didnt like about dt. i have in fact #if i even so much as think about where to even start with rebirth ending i feel myself boiling in real time and i cant form a sentence #not proud of that but dat’s me 😔

I shouldn’t be anxious about this at all probably but i rted art earlier on bsky and the post (which was like a year old) disappeared on my feed cuz it was quickly deleted after i rted it and im like not sure if i was blocked (i dont check to see if people block me) or if people hate getting older art reshared or what but ive felt bad about it all day 🥲

#more journaling #ik my yap account display name is stupid as shit so idk if i was like blocked on the spot for that #ig i cant really blame someone for that i get it but 😔

Im a billion years late to everything so have only very recently given Disco Elysium a try (for a while i wasn’t sure if the hype was ironic or not) mind you im only on day 3, but i think, it was not ironic…

#more journaling #ive kept my reactions of it generic bc it feels like one of those games i don’t want to spoil even a little bit #i knew shockingly little about what the game even was about or how it played despite how much of it ive been exposed to from osmosis #but i think going into it as blindly as i have has made it even better 🙂‍↕️

The kind of passioned discussions i have with my friends about ff7

#more journaling #i read one fic about zack using his first class perks to order sour gummy worms one time and it became a Discussion with the oomfs

Idc admitting this here because tumblr peeps have generally been real ones but i think me becoming so endeared to cloud is at least partly because the last time i ever had interest in a canon character/not oc (idk what you call this, but im primarily ocpilled and that goes for generally only becoming a fan of other people’s ocs as well) was back in the superwholock hayday, over ten years ago lol It has truly been that long i’ve felt anything more than a normal positive “i like them” for a character 🚶‍➡️

#more journaling #i also think being a lowkey hater and having everything i thought about the character proven wrong helped too #and like not even a justified hater i just decided he was an ff character i dont like and will never like bc i dont care for #hot dude brooding edgelords who are sooo cool and sooo badass wooww 😒#i also had it in my head that ff7 had zero fantasy in it which like. i dont think im the only one who thought midgar was the whole game but #truly my eyes were opened so big and so wide and also my heart when i gave it a chance…

I never tag any of my cloud drawings with his name because i just assume im going to be pelted with tomatoes and probably also knives if someone liked a drawing i did of him and went on my page and saw how i talk about him which is in ways i think most people would not like lol

#more journaling #may or may not be baggage from being in xiv fandom for so long because you really would get killed if you weren’t careful with what you #said about a canon character/npc #and like i don’t really enjoy existing or being seen in fandom spaces anyway #i just want to be a nobody who shows up like a nameless drifter with a picture of cloud strife and point to it and say. look at this thing🫵

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