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Prompt: This Facebook moment. (For Shayne, writing/idea-sparring partner and Hangouts buddy. Kick ass in college, my love! - R)

A/N: I do not own Jerry and Agnes as characters. This future!headcanon, however, is mine (and Shayne's). May karugtong pa ito. I think. :)

It’s 10 A.M. and there are other things that Agnes should be doing. For one, she should be arriving by this time to a brunch meeting with an important client, which they had to set on a weekend after postponing it a few times. There are files she was planning to pick up from the office after that. And then she was supposed to drive to her mom’s place, where she’s spending the rest of the weekend break. Yet there she sits at her work desk at home, still in an oversized button-down shirt she loves sleeping in, feet up on the swivel chair. Her glasses ride halfway down the bridge of her nose, a mug of steaming coffee — her third — cupped in her hands.

She hasn’t slept.

She pries a hand away from the mug and grabs the mouse, guiding the cursor back to the ‘Friend Requests’ icon on Facebook’s blue bar. She lets the cursor hover over the first name on the list as she thinks. For the nth time. Confirm or Not Now.

It should be an easy choice to make.

But she hasn’t slept. And it’s David, who she bumped into on the way out of work last night.

Yes, her former boss David. “Siya ang nakakita ng potential ko sa sales” David. “You know how I feel about you, Agnes” David. Friendzoned David. Then fallback David, “Can we start over?” David, boyfriend and (eventually) husband David…

Ex-husband David for the past six years.

It would’ve been fine, except that bumping into David again after a few years meant also meeting his two little girls and his new and younger wife, whose maxi dress couldn’t hide the bump announcing another one on the way.

That would’ve been okay, too, but seeing it in the flesh was something else, because it meant being told about the family that once was hers, too, as his wife looked on and with a daughter clasping each hand, just as they were planning many moons ago.

It meant seeing him happy again, the way he was before their troubles got in the way. It meant looking at the life she could’ve had — that she dreamed of having — with him, knowing that she realized it with someone else.

She wanted to be glad for him, and in a way she is. But to know that the fault lies in her end sucks. That she was never really able to give David back all that he had given her, that she held back. That it was her own undoing.

She clicks the icon again for the list to disappear. Then her eyes fall on the status bar.

“What’s on your mind?”

What a dangerous question to be asked when you’re on your third cup of strong brew.

Just when you thought you were doing just fine, you chance upon The Dream That Was. And yes, it breaks your heart.

She clicks ‘Post’ and sighs as the status appears on the News Feed. On a normal day, with a normal mindset, she wouldn’t have done this (she doesn’t believe in being emotional online, either), but it does feel good.

For a few moments at least.

As she stares at her reality capsuled in a status, she begins to feel ridiculous. It’s 10 A.M. Everyone else is at work; her friends in Manila are asleep. Perhaps no one has seen it yet; nobody has liked or commented on it. She figures she’s safe.

She clicks the drop-down.

Are you sure you want to delete this?

She rolls her eyes. Facebook and its questions. She clicks ‘Delete’.

—————————————————-

Just when you thought you were doing just fine, you chance upon The Dream That Was. And yes, it breaks your heart.

Agnes Sarmiento. Three minutes ago.

Really? Jerry squints, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. It doesn’t really sound like her, he thinks. He guides the cursor to the chat list, clicks on her name. The chat box pops up. He opens the “full conversation”. The last time they talked was two months ago — an exchange of “Happy New Year!” and “Kumusta?” He smiles as he scrolls up.

And then he catches himself. What do I say? He sighs, fingers resting on the keyboard.

————————————————————- The last time he was with her was nearly a decade ago, when she came to Manila for a quick business trip. Those last few outings were with friends, and while they sat beside each other, that was all there ever was. Because by then, she was already married to David. And, as she teased him over the group’s third bottle of wine, it was the tenth anniversary of her breaking up with him. Breaking up. Asking him if they could still be friends. Lying spooned on the couch through a sleepless night and driving to the airport in the morning. A lingering kiss at the gate before she walked inside, turning to him one last time with a smile and a small wave before she disappeared in the sea of departures.

Him waiting at the entrance for nearly three hours, thinking she would run back outside because she loved him.

Getting in his car and speeding off when he looked at his watch and realized her flight left fifteen minutes ago.

There wasn’t much time to feel bad, however. She called two days later to say she “made it home” (yes, that was home) safely, to make him feel that she was sticking to her end of the deal.

“Para kayong baliw,” his friends said. “Sinasaktan mo lang ang sarili mo.”

But he didn’t have the heart to call the deal off. Letters and photographs were exchanged over the years, and the more they came his way, the more he began to see the changes in her… and how happy she was with them — from the shoulder-length haircut (“The last time I did this was in Grade Two!”), to the new place, the bigger office that came with a higher position in a new company. To David. ———————————————————- She places her glasses on the desk and stands up, arms up in the air as she stretches. Her stomach grumbles and she shakes her head, allowing herself to smile for the first time since last night. She turns for the kitchen, the floor cold against her bare feet. She is crossing the living room when the loud ‘Ding’ from the Mac interrupts her stride.

She walks back to the work desk, thinking about who it could be. Initial fear: that Bryan and Yvonne — or worse, their mother — saw her status. Maybe it’s Daisy. Maybe she heard from David. Saw the family. Felt the need to check on her.

She puts her glasses back on, leaning on the back of the chair. She squints.

Jerry Morales hey. are you okay?

Jerry Morales. Just now. She smiles and reaches for the keyboard.

Agnes Sarmiento Hey! Bakit gising ka pa?

Jerry Morales just got home eh. bday ni mamon! i mean ni alie. =)

————————————————

Alie. His mini-me, only with long, wavy hair. Photos of her are all over Agnes’s News Feed, thanks to Jerry’s religious documentation. Even when she doesn’t mean to, she always finds herself smiling at this thought.

She doesn’t really know the whole story. Jerry joined Facebook a year after she did, and it took a few months later for him to find her. (Well, if she were to believe Melissa and Daisy, it took him a few months to decide to add her up.)

A week after that, he posted a photo for the first time, and it was that of a beautiful little bundle in pink with chubby cheeks and a head full of hair. “Finally, my love,” he wrote that day. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Since then, Jerry would post every little thing about his “Mamon” — from the moment he said she first looked at him, to her first smile, to the mornings they would wake up, both of them with messy hair. The first time she crawled and then walked. He was proud that her first word was “Papa”, that she was reading by age 2, that she was off to preschool the year after that.

But through every ordinary day, or special occasion, it was just Alie and Jerry, sometimes with his family. There was never a woman in the picture. There was never a “Mama” for the little one.

Not that it seemed to matter. The little girl seems happy, thanks to the dutiful father that Agnes has always known Jerry would be. And he has that twinkle in his eyes, a light in his smile, when it comes to the child. He seems complete.

At least he has that.

—————————————————————

Agnes Sarmiento Wow! How old is she again? Jerry Morales five! parang kelan lang, di ba? =) Agnes Sarmiento Gosh, oo nga! Anong theme ng party? Patingin naman ng photos.

Jerry Morales uploading them right now… but wait, here’ s one…

He opens the folder of photos, looking through those taken at the party. An adorable Alie pic, he thinks, then shakes his head because that’s going to make it more difficult for him to choose.

He picks a photo of them two instead, sends it. And waits.

——————————————————————

A couple of moments and a photo of Jerry and his daughter pops up — the little girl looks like a European doll dressed in a familiar-looking robe, her arms tight around her father’s neck. Both of them wearing a huge — and eerily similar — smile on their faces.

Agnes Sarmiento Mulan?

Jerry Morales now her fave Disney princess. thanks for the recommendation. =) kaso when i asked anong gustong gift si mushu daw! hahaha!

Agnes types… then thinks about what’s she’s about to say, a finger suspended over the Backspace key. Then goes right ahead and presses Enter.

Agnes Sarmiento I can get her one from Disneyland! Kaso a photo of Mushu lang. And a stuffed toy? :) Jerry Morales naku wag na! baka hassle pa sayo. =) Agnes Sarmiento Hindi. I’m taking Yvonne’s kids there tomorrow when they visit Mama. I’ll get Alie one, ha?

Jerry Morales sus. =) dapat talaga ikaw na lang ninang nito eh. thank you naman in advance, hehe.

And then the inevitable “silence”. What now?

————————————————-

Do I ask? ‘Wag na lang? They stay quiet. Maybe she already knows why I sent a message, he thinks. And maybe she doesn’t want to talk about. Maybe she doesn’t need me to tell her that it’s going to be fine. She deleted the status, didn’t she?

Ay naku, Jerry, just —

Agnes Sarmiento Bakit ka nga pala napa-message?

Ayan. Sagutin mo ‘yan, Gerardo.

They’re grownups, he thinks.

It shouldn’t be this awkward.

—————————————————-

Jerry Morales i saw your status.

Of course. She shakes her head as she types.

Agnes Sarmiento Ah, that! Wala ‘yun. :)

The simpler, the better.

Jerry Morale you sure? =)

Or not. She could only watch as silver bubbles continue to pop up, with words that suddenly fill her with a certain kind of comfort. It’s a brand of ease that comes with Jerry, no matter how awkward their relationship can get sometimes.

Jerry Morales you know what sabi nila mas madaling magconfide pag malayo ang kaibigan i’m about 7,000 miles away. hehehe.

Dork, she thinks, smiling despite herself.

Agnes Sarmiento Wala talaga. I’m fine, thanks. :) Jerry Morales okay, sabi mo eh. =)

Agnes Sarmiento Di ka naniniwala? Jerry Morales ang drama kasi! malalim ang hugot. =)

Agnes Sarmiento Nagda-drama lang po. :)

Jerry Morales okay… bakit nga?

Agnes Sarmiento Ang kulit! Alam mo naging tatay ka lang, lalo ka nang naging makulit. :)

Jerry Morales mana kay mamon. hahaha! sorry, still hyper. sugar high yata. =)) so, ano nga?

She waits. He could wax philosophical again. Or maybe he’s thinking about how to flesh the confession out of her. Maybe, maybe, may —

Jerry Morales look, you can tell me now… and then clean slate. we won’t bring it up again. ever. pramis. =) (unless gusto mo ulit pag-usapan.)

Haay, Jerry, persistent as ever. She thinks about what to say next. Does she tell him? What good would it do? What will he say? He might not understand, or she might get a reaction from him that she isn’t ready for. She might make it suddenly awkward for him. David has always been an awkward topic, made more awkward by how she cannot seem to find a better way to talk to Jerry about it. Then again, she is tempted to just go ahead and tell him. Because this is Jerry she is talking to — the one person that ever really made her feel comfortable, the one who cared (cares) much about her and has never been shy — even after they broke up — to let her know.

————————————————————-

Jerry Morales still there?

He no longer expected her to answer. Their friendship has always had this layer of awkwardness. Maybe he’s pushed it a little too much. Maybe —

Agnes Sarmiento Yes. Still here.

Jerry Morales okay, i’m just being makulit. kasi ang drama talaga. =) but you don’t have to tell me na. sorry. =(

Agnes Sarmiento Uy, ano ba! Don’t be! It’s okay. :)

Jerry Morales o siya i might be interrupting na.

————————————————————

Agnes Sarmiento You’re not interrupting anything. :) And I’m waiting for the photos!

Jerry Morales maybe next yr you can join na the party! help me plan too. kastress pala yon!

Agnes Sarmiento Wait ‘til she turns 18. Jerry Morales pls don’t get that image in my head yet.

She smiles, knowing exactly how he would look and sound saying that. Sometimes she needs to remind herself that it’s been 20 years since they were together, and a lot may have changed. But over the days, over Facebook, over time, there are pieces of Jerry that has remained the same.

She likes how he seems to have remained constant through all the changes in her life.

Except, of course, that now he’s a dad.

Agnes Sarmiento Okay, sorry!

Jerry Morales you’re okay?

Agnes Sarmiento Yes. I’m okay. :)

Jerry Morales okay. you’re okay. =)

She thinks it might be a good chance to catch up, and so she begins to type out something that Daisy and Melissa told her over the phone last weekend. But new messages pop up as she types.

Jerry Morales agnes? sorry, i might have to go. naalimpungatan ang prinsesa. don’t wait for me if you have to log out. =) the photos are uploading let me know what you think when you see them. =)

Agnes Sarmiento Yikes, ang daming sinabi. :) All right.

Jerry Morales sorry nakakatuliro kasi yung drama mo. =P joke! =)

Agnes Sarmiento Hahaha! Loko! Hi kay Alie! Jerry Morales okay. sana di tinopak. hehehe. mauna nako. =)

Agnes Sarmiento Okay. Jerry?

Jerry Morales yeah?

Agnes Sarmiento Salamat. :)

Jerry Morales sus. ikaw pa? =) no worries. smile lang. you’re okay. =) Agnes Sarmiento Yeah, I am. :)

She leans back in her seat, just staring at the Mac. Yes, I am, she thinks as she starts to smile again. #