#my essay

[trissaysmoi]

I officially left my job

I had my final shift yesterday. Work went on as usual but I'm aware that every action I do inside the office is my last one. During lunch, my work friends asked me how I'm feeling. It would be safe to say it feels liberating (well it is) but I found myself saying that I'm having mixed emotions about it.

Perhaps it's the temporary emotions taking over me. The feeling of sadness because I'll miss everything about the job. I'll miss how light the workload is and how it's giving me the work-life balance I dreamed of. I'll miss my work friends and the bond I created with them. And frankly, I'll miss being financially compensated well. Considering I didn't even plan to enter that industry on purpose, everything that happened since I got hired was a pleasant surprise.

But I'm also acknowledging that this is the right time for me to leave. The new academic year is approaching, and I have to start moving. I also know that I might feel miserable if I stay there for the next six months. Things are stagnant now. I'm starting to feel stuck in my comfort zone and knew I had to do something. I just did what I had to do for myself.

After the shift, my boss threw me a farewell dinner. There I ultimately shared to everyone why I'm leaving, and I feel so touched seeing them root for me. They're just so supportive and sweet and kind and nice and good at their jobs. I couldn't have asked for a better team to be with. I feel so lucky being able to work with these incredibly smart people. I reminded them in the short notes I gave to them how capable they are of so much more things. It's my subtle way of saying that they're more than just BPO agents and I hope they allow themselves to grow in such beautiful ways just like what I'm about to do with my own life.

I'm wishing them all the best and I'll continue rooting for them. I hope to see them again soon.

[trissaysmoi]

Updating my take on separating the art from the artist (as a media consumer in my 20s)

Disclaimer: All views are my own. Might be cancellable and highly controversial idk.

As I get to know my new current interest through the internet, I came across what seems to be their only major issue so far. That discovery made me reflect on what I am as media consumer.

Since my teens, I'm one of those "woke" fans that doesn't believe in separating the art from the artist. Back then, I believed that their art reflects their character and if it has a mismatch, then it's not for me. I'll stop supporting them and consuming their work.

But right now, I'm in an age where it's okay to separate the art from the artist. The point is that there are lots of layers and degrees in media consumption. Perhaps this is a reminder to set boundaries. You can enjoy ALL media but know your boundaries. To what extent you can be a "fan" of something? To what extent you can just be a "consumer" or an "observer"? To what extent you blur the two?

For example, you may be a fan of something if the artist/art aligns to your values. This is the tier where you can publicly show your affection towards the thing. If they don't align to your values but still want to consume their thing, you can still do, but it would be best to keep the affection in private. The point is like what you like! Life is too short to suppress yourself.

Unless the thing is directly complicit to the world issues right now or literally killing people.

See? It's really all about layers and degrees. It's a case-to-case basis on how bad the flaw is. After all, above their craft, these are real people who commits mistakes. (Although it would've been better if they hold themselves accountable. It's an infuriating thing but we don't hold their lives, do we?)

Also, we should be past the time for parasocial relationships between fans and artists. This is another application of setting boundaries. We should always ground ourselves on the fact that we have our own lives to live. The artists have their own lives to live. We connect to them through their craft and nothing else. They're not actually our friends.

If they do bad decisions, it's their call. We can try to call them out but don't expect anything in return. If they respond, that's great but if they don't, don't be surprised. Again, it's their life and we're not involved in it directly.

The imperfections of people are the reason why I'm not a big fan of "idol" culture. People are holding them up to a standard when they are human beings with flaws. My current system on media consumption is that I start as an "observer", then a "consumer". If they're genuinely good people is the only time I elevate myself to a "fan" status where I can rave about them publicly without guilt. #

[persephone-the-third]

[persephone-the-third]

I worried I had not enough to say in my final presentation and now im two minutes over time and still didn't say anything substantial yay best of both worlds

[persephone-the-third]

recording a final project for my class and I have done so many takes because I keep apologizing or saying something and being like hm. I shouldn't say that. redo

[persephone-the-third]

to borrow a quote from an irl friend of mine: "I feel like I'm a foot away from the finish line and I'm just standing there"

[persephone-the-third]

you look away from the essay for TEN minutes and you come back to this. what how when

[persephone-the-third]

when does the caffeine hit the my system