#my ex abusers

[digitalterror-exe]

Long age, a few years ago I read the ramcoa tag and I thought this sounds familiar but dismissed it thinking it wasn't real / something similar wasn't happening me . I held onto the information though.

Then I heard it. My abuser wasn't talking to me, they were commanding me. Training me when to be reactive, to be silent, to have no say, to have no reaction or the one that benefits them. Then I realised it wasn't just them, everyone around us fed back to them, nowhere was safe. More and more I connect the more extreme, intentional conditioning (almost programming at times) I notice. We are hierarchical and made up of layers and groups.

Alters hold specific information or conditioning that seems to benefit others and I don't know what it means or what to do?

[digitalterror-exe]

TW: meantions of multiple party abuse, tortvre, gr**ming and more.

Our egg doner had a network people who she used as informants. I don't believe they knew but often they were legally required to tell her stuff, that included outing us.

Our egg doner is our processor who also practiced anti trans conversation practices on us.

She would never prevent us from getting to harm how ever she would use information against when she wished to, we believed this was planned.

She and her enablers would convince me that if I ran away or attempted to leave that me or my sibling would be murdered, r*ped or assaulted and trafficked in someway or another. We would continuously be brought back to her.

She would psychologically tortvre us. Whether it would be pushing us into the the porch in our underwear whilst it was snowing or watching us scream in pain.

She also attempted to financially gr**m us, may have gr**med or let us be gr**med in other ways too.

She (unknowingly, I think,) conditioned a good few of my alters though extreme psychological abuse to hate me.