I adore you. - Jung Jaehyun (Part II)
genre: fluff, angst(?)
word count: 1.6k
warnings: curse words
a/n: why hello there... long time no post T-T i know, it’s been too long since this awaited update but i’m back to writing now! it’s been a busy couple of months and i haven’t had time to sit back and actually enjoy writing without getting so stressed :( i hope this update is enough to fill the void for now. but for sure after this one, it’ll pick up. do you think y/n and jaehyun will have a happy ending? or will it end in an oof situation? stay tuned my loves!
with all my love, summer x
It’s December, everyone knows what that means, exam season. Though it’s the end of semester, Jaehyun’s stress levels were through the roof. He hasn’t felt like this in a long while, unprepared and panicked over the little exams he has. In order to ease his worries, he motivates himself to go to the library and make an attempt to get something done. He can’t stand sitting on his living room couch, aimlessly scrolling through his phone while simultaneously searching for a movie to watch.
Procrastination is and always will be a bitch but hey, at least he got himself out of the house. Even if it was just for a cup of coffee and a couple of minutes of looking at his notes. He sighs as he catches sight of the grey and miserable building in his campus. How he dreads staring at the old and ancient site. Jaehyun exhales another breath and gets himself mentally prepared for what is about to come.
“Death and a breakdown,” his mind answers.
As expected, the library was full of students also trying to study for their exams. Some caught with panic in their eyes while they read through their notes quickly and a few with their hands on their heads, seeking comfort from what was an oncoming breakdown. Though it was a huge building with many spots to sit and settle down with books, laptops and notes, Jaehyun always preferred the third floor, where there was a hidden bunch of tables caught in the middle of a forest of books. Not a lot of people knew of this particular spot, the only ones who knew about it were you and a couple of other friends.
What he didn’t expect is to see you there with your earphones on, highlighter in hand, studying. He’s momentarily distracted by your calm appearance. Jaehyun never thought that someone could look so gorgeous just by being focused. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your head slowly moves in time with the music you’re listening to.
His heart sighs again.
His breath caught.
And his long legs lead him to where you are.
Without realising, he taps your shoulder.
You turn your head slowly, reluctant to look up from the notes you just wrote. Catching sight of Jaehyun you smile with your eyes.
“Oh hey,” you say as you take one earphone out.
“You didn’t tell me you were in the library today.” he blurts.
“Yeah, I legged it out this morning and forgot to ask if you wanted to come. You know how it is during exam season.” you explain to him in a hushed voice.
Jaehyun nods, and sets himself down at the empty seat next to you. He takes out his notes, laptop and pencil case. All ready to get himself stuck at all the information he needs to learn for the coming week.
As he gets himself setted, it only causes you to watch him as he goes about his unknowing routine whenever he’s in the library. You smile slightly, and a light chuckle comes out of your mouth. Jaehyun, busy getting himself together, didn't notice.
He sits himself down on the chair next to you with a highlighter in his mouth and a furrowed eyebrow looking at his books. He had no idea how the fuck he was going to get all this information in his head for his exam that was two days from now. You on the other hand, went back to studying soon after you saw Jaehyun settle down. It only took a couple of minutes to get your head back into focus and immediately forgetting that your friend was there in the first place.
A couple of hours, maybe three or two, you sigh deeply. Jaehyun had heard it over the music he was listening to. He looks over to you with a questioning look.
You mouth, “I need a break.” and a smile breaks out from your face.
He smiles with you, “me too,” he gestures with his fingers.
Using your hands, you point out towards the exit, quickly followed by a gesture that indicated you wanted to eat too.
Jaehyun nods in agreement but you decide to leave your things there as the both of you would only be gone for an hour.
Or so you thought.
Jaehyun didn’t realise how much he loved to spend time with you. Having a simple meal with you at the nearest convenience store is enough to have him smiling for the rest of the night.
Your plan only consisted of having a quick meal and a brief walk around the library. But no, here you were, lying down on the couches situated in the lobby of some random building in the campus.
“Hmm… law building.” Jaehyun voices.
“What?” you say, as you give your best attempt to look at him, too comfortable to get up properly.
“I think we’re in the law building-”
“I honestly can’t give two shits right now. I’m in procrastination mode. Let’s not disturb my unsettled peace.” you interrupt, rolling your eyes.
Jaehyun chuckles once more for the nth time that day.
“Why is it that when exam season rolls around, I’m just so stressed to the point where nothing can ease my worries and anxiety.” you suddenly voice your thoughts out loud.
“Maybe it’s because you’re scared of failing. I know how high your standards are of yourself. Sometimes they’re unrealistic but they kinda make sense. I mean, I’m the same too.” Jaehyun sighs, exhaustion finally catching up to him.
You stay silent for a minute, or five.
“I can’t help it. That’s just me.” you start slowly.
He says nothing, only nodding to encourage you to keep going.
“I mean okay, a lot of it mostly has to do with how I see myself. I want to do well but I can never reach that place where I want to be… Yes it’s just exams but I like feeling proud of myself. I like seeing those grades that I worked hard for. But the thing is, I’m also… how do I say it. I’m only motivated when someone is there with me. Company, that’s all I need to keep myself going.”
He stares at you. Nothing again.
“But not everyone can give you that company,” Jaehyun states. “Not everyone understands.”
Just like that he knew. He knew exactly what you were saying and that was all you needed. That was what both of you needed. Though there was clearly a deeper meaning to the reason, Jaehyun didn’t pry.
He’s patient like that, he waits for you to come to him. Just like everything else in your friendship.
It's your turn to sigh, closing your eyes.
“Exactly,”
He gives you a small smile.
“Not even my own boyfriend can give me that anymore…” you finish.
Jaehyun’s voice is caught in his throat.
Did you really just say that out loud? After all this time, all those moments you shared with your boyfriend, Jaehyun was the first person you told. He saw how you were like in the beginning of your relationship.
Happy, wrapped around each other's fingers, and not to mention you spent every waking moment with him whenever you got the chance. What changed he wondered.
He didn’t know, but you were also asking yourself the same question. “Where did it all change? When did it change?”
Taking note of your furrowed eyebrows, he made the decision to change the topic.
“So, any plans after the exams?” keeping the topic light, despite the heavy feeling you both felt.
“I’m not sure yet. I wanted to check out some of the Christmas markets around the city. I still need to get a few presents for my family and Doyoung and his family too.”
“Isn’t that your entire family then?” he chuckles.
Your eyes widen in shock which makes you sit up from your earlier position. “Fuck. You’re right.” You palm your face in distress, “ugh no.”
He laughs a little louder, patting your head to comfort you.
“Stop it you’re not making this any better.” panic starting to rise on your face.
“Don’t forget mine too.” he teases, grinning at you widely.
“Shut up idiot, I already got yours.” you say, getting back to your mental list quickly after replying.
This caught Jaehyun off guard once more. His heart did a little jump again. Dammit, how can a simple sentence from you have that kind of effect on him.
“Now I’m stressed. Fuck you bro.” you tell him after finishing your mental list.
“I can always help you shop, you know. I’m quite good with buying presents.” he suggests.
“Maybe that can work. It’ll lessen my stress levels. Well either lessen them or add to them, really depending on what you’re like on the day.” you chuckle.
He opens his mouth to say something, takes a deep breath to reply something smart but he stops and nods as he says, “yeah you’re right.”
You both laugh out loud, relieving some sort of stress from studying all morning.
“Should we head back?” you ask, looking to your side.
“We haven’t gotten anything to eat yet.” he points out the obvious with a look.
“Stop it, don’t look at me like I’m dumb.”
He rolls his eyes.
“You of all people know that Jae. Don’t start.”
Jaehyun smiles widely.
“Oh no here it comes.”
You put your head in your hands.
“I- of all people know just how dumb you really are y/n.” he starts laughing louder, making the people passing by stare at him weirdly.
You sigh, “I just knew you were going to say that.” smiling unknowingly.
“Dude stop.”
But he couldn’t, he loved to tease you like that.
He loved doing everything with you.
Oh what life would be like if he was able to kiss the living daylights out of you.
He’d be complete.
He wouldn’t need anything else.
Just you.