a series of imagines based on songs in my playlist!
producer’s note: this is just a random series im writing, i thought it’d be fun lol. they’re all one shots (except for jaemin’s & jeno’s) that can all be read as stand alones :) !
word count: 8.9k (if yall wanna sequel im down!!)
genre: smut, fluff, a little angst.
synopsis: after one smoke session, yuta becomes more than just your roommate’s dealer..
genre: heavy smut, angst, long ass plot literally for no fucking reason,,
synopsis: professor lee, the substitute teacher for your photography class. your original professor is out on maternity leave for the next month. one long month of you clenching your thighs together in class at the fantasies that run through your mind about the young professor that took over for her.
inspo: you right - doja cat (ft. the weekend)
read here
full word count: tbd (currently in progress)
genre: heavy smut, semi-long plot, fluff, angst.
synopsis: he had completely convinced his self that you were no more than a quick fuck. someone he called at 3am when he was hard, a booty call…nothing more. all that went out the window when he sees you out with another man.
inspo: body language - doja cat
read here
word count: tbd
genre: fluff, some plot, romance, some angst.
synopsis: taeyong has a severe case of lost of interest when it comes to his art. his career is teetering on the edge until he starts having these dreams about a girl he’s never seen before, she becomes his new muse. what happens when he comes face to face with the girl he’s been dreaming about.
inspo: i wanna be yours - crush (ft. pink $weats)
read here
word count: tbd
genre: smut, fluff, a little plot.
synopsis: when a new instructor gets hired at your regular gym, you start going for more than one workout and for more than one reason.
inspo: white tee - summer walker (ft. NO1-NOAH)
word count: tbd
genre: crack, fluff, humor, small angst, smau.
synopsis: yn was a well known man-eater and misandrist after a messy ass breakup. frat boy! and basketball team captain! jaemin na poses as a set back in your new found personality.
Social Media AU, strangers to lovers for most of the routes. (Except Haechan)
Pairing: Choose your route! NCT Dream x female reader. Yang Yang x OC. Lucas x OC.
Plot: the world is a really small place. single, broke, funny y/n finds herself being the love interest of a friend group.
Parts: ON HIATUS
Main Story
Profiles part one, profiles part two
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
Mark: a regular client at your part time job, his presence makes your shift both entertaining and insufferable. This musician in the making has the best intentions but the worst ways to approach.
Renjun: Your best friend's coworker, an irritable guy, but a really kind one (on the inside), his poor lonely soul only wishes for some love too!
Jeno: Everyone's best friend, Lee Jeno is the joy you needed in your life. A little petty, but a big fan of romance.
Haechan: Your lab partner, and also the other best student, Donghyuck can be a little annoying, but he's still the funniest guy around. Don't let your guard down, though, he's still your rival.
Jaemin: Where do I know you from? Is this love at first sight? Maybe second sight? Na Jaemin is a diamond in the rough, how come you never noticed?
Chenle: A friend of your lifetime's crush? Chenle is a hardworking one, a sweet, shy guy, too scared to make the first move (when sober).
Jisung: Tutoring for some extra bucks comes with its perks, maybe he won't drop out if he stops getting distracted during his lessons thinking about you.
Weekly updates, on the weekends* (probably)
*might change it to update twice a week
Taglist:
Dm me if you want to be added!
A.N: omggggg it's finally here, i know i promised I'd post this by September but it's been hard 💀. Anyway i found a friend to help me! Please let me know how you feel about this series! Have a great dayyy
Thanks to @taeyong-bububu for helping me with the chats and updates. Please do not dm her to be added to the taglist.
When the lights are shining, and the bells are ringing, I am right beside you, so let’s go outside. Do you see the reflection in the balls of this Ctristmas tree? Yes, all miracles are true, it’s me and you.
Hello, this was the Jaehyun story I told you about. The story that made me glued on typing and finishing it. I am not done yet, but I want to make it into 2 parts because it's long enough already.
I caught the flu and I feel so sick, but I'll get better soon and try to write the second part (ending)
characters : bff! nerd! taeyong, badboy! Jaehyun cameo of Haechan and Mark as your brothers
tw : smoking, alcohol, bad boy behaviour, misunderstanding, ranking and school system, student worker
happy reading (?)
There he is again, one leg supporting his weight while the other one is making a nice shoe print on the white wall. The light breeze of Fall wind makes him warm himself with a bar of cigarettes. He stomps on his cigarette bud, his Burgundy hair flips nicely when his slender fingers run through them. He exhales the last breath of smoke from his pink lips and picks up his bag from the floor. With only one arm, he slings the bag over his shoulder and begins taking slow long strides into his class despite the chaos other students make upon hearing the ring of the bell. He puts on his number one smile and splits the crowded hallway into two, as if he is Moses who just split the Red Sea.
“Bro, you better run if you still want to sit in the class,” a tall man taps his shoulder and jogs to the class at the end of the hallway. His smile doesn’t falter, his dimple is still proudly on display when he makes his grand entrance just to stand face to face with the killer teacher but his eyes fall gracefully on one table. A special table he remembers by heart, the table on the front row, right next to the big window. It’s not the table that he likes, but the girl sitting on that desk. The girl in her half braided natural curly hair, who just sits without sparing a glance on his super bad-boy entrance. Only by doing this late entrance can he take a full minute of looking at her from afar.
“Jung Jaehyun, how many times do I need to tell you. Fix your uniform, tidy your hair and do not be late.” The old teacher scrunches at the school’s bad boy.
“Father said it’s okay to be late as long as I attend the class.” He pulls out his special card, the excuse of being the son of one of the biggest donature in this school.
The whole class only scoffs but no one dares look into his eyes. Mess with Jaehyun, and you are a dead meat.
“Final warning, go sit quick. See the principal after school-”
“but,” Jaehyun cuts him
“No buts. You have been late three times in a week for my class. You should try to be more punctual.”
Jaehyun’s eyes not for once left the girl who brings a tingle in his stomach. His heart almost bursts into pieces when he sees a slight reaction she gives.
“He sure could run away from detention since he is a rich kid,” you write it down on a paper and pass it to your best friend who is sitting with a straight back next to you.
Your best friend, the president of the class, the kid who aces all his tests including gym and the kid who has his hair styled according to the school’s rule but still looks okay, Lee Taeyong. The boy who grew up next to you, who knows all your secrets and stories. He opens the paper from you and only smirks.
Jaehyun notices the smirk you exchange with the boring class president. He balls his fist and tosses his eyes to the teacher in front of him. “Can I sit?” His voice is cold. Somewhat touchy upon realizing once again Lee Taeyong, the boring student, is the only one to make you smile or smirk or react!
Jaehyun takes the seat on the last row, somewhat unlucky today that he doesn’t get to sit in his favorite chair because it was removed. Now all he can see is Taeyong’s side profile and he couldn’t see you from his view at all.
Jaehyun leans back on his chair. His eyebrows furrow when his hand scribbles notes on a piece of chewing gum paper he found in his pocket using the pencil he found in the desk.
His eyes did not move away from Taeyong. He has to admit, for a straight A student, Taeyong is not ugly. In fact, he has a strong jaw, and if he styles his hair and throws away his round glasses he will be sure to be the prince of the school. Jaehyun doesn’t understand what you like from guys like Taeyong.
He slaps himself internally, how can he know you like Taeyong? But everytime he sees you, express yourself and be free only when Taeyong is around.
He makes a mental note on the features only Taeyong does. The young man grimaces at his own list, seriously can’t you just look at him once?
The bell rings and Jaehyun slowly packs his stuff. This is the hardest part when you don’t have much to pack. His eyes keep looking at you, who is chatting to Taeyong about something and laughing cutely. His knuckle turns white, he wants to be the one laughing together with you. The second you and Taeyong step out of the desk, Jaehyun quickly makes a beeline to exit the door only to be stopped by the teacher.
“Stay. I will escort you to the principal's office by myself, Jaehyun.” The teacher calls him over and Jaehyun feels humiliated. He rolls his eyes but a part of his heart is screaming happily when he catches you snickering at the teacher’s remark. One thing that annoys him is that it looks like you and Taeyong were laughing about him.
“Is it going to be long? I need to do something important today.” Jaehyun pleads to the teacher, but to no avail he has to say goodbye to his afternoon basketball game because the second he steps into the office, he faces all five teachers who he had been late to their classes this week.
Taeyong was cracking a joke to you when you arrived at the small cafe near your house. He always accompanies you to this place you spent most of your time after school.
“Remember to take enough rest. Midterms are coming!” Taeyong picks a chair in the corner of the room. You make your way to the kitchen and change, only to appear in an apron and a name tag. The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans has become your friend. Yes, you work in a small coffee shop, who only has the same customers coming in everyday, since people choose to add extra cents to get the green mermaid cup.
Your long shift starts now, a six hour shift a day for five days brings you enough money to cover some house needs expenses. You’re thankful that you have a scholarship that lets you go to school for free. On weekends, you finish up your homeworks and prepare for quizzes. With the clock striking five times, your shift started.
Jaehyun sits in the detention room, his pockets empty. All his cigarettes and lighter are confiscated. He was thrown into the quiet room just facing the window and given a pen and paper to write down his reflection. His mind wanders along again to the time when he sees how you always cast a lot of attention to Taeyong. He shudders, should he change his style to look like Taeyong to get your attention? Using the pen, he tries to push his hair down and make them look school-ish. He ends up shaking and messing his hair back. Frustrated, he puts his head in his hands, looks down and notices how untidy his uniform is. Tomorrow he will try tugging them in and maybe skip the styling gel. He has made it clear, he needs to play his game before you become Taeyong’s and he is too late.
---
The next day, the whole school is filled with whispers and murmurs. The first person you look for is Taeyong. SOmething must have happened and you did not have the gossip yet. So, after tugging your best friend's super neat spotless uniform your eyes enlarged in surprise when you heard the news.
“Jaehyun is dressing up tidy and has his hair down today. And for once, he doesn’t make a ruckus on entering the school, he doesn’t smell like alcohol and rumor has it he must have received a super bad detention yesterday so that he becomes a totally new person today.” You nod and reply to Taeyong, “Good for him. I just can’t stand looking at his untidy shirt. I will be surprised if suddenly he asks you to teach him materials.” the two of you exchange looks and crack into a big laugh.
“That won’t happen. If that happens, I will treat you to sushi.” you joke around and slap the locker close before taking steps into your first lecture of the day.
“What in the world?! You must be cheating!” you drop the spoon on your lunch tray upon hearing the news from Taeyong.
Taeyong shakes his head mortified, “No. I swear, it’s not about the sushi deal. He went to me alone and said nicely that he wanted to ask my help for tutoring him with statistics.”
You pick up your spoon again but rather than spooning foods into your mouth, you only poke around the meatballs in your plate.
“Something is not right.” you shake your head slowly in horror.
Taeyong is eating his lunch happily, “What? Isn’t it cool our class can finally hold the reputation of having all students passing with great scores? I am one step closer to making our class the best class of the year!”
Jaehyun was not kidding when he asked Taeyong to teach him statistics. Taeyong called you that night after your tiring shift and told you how smart Jaehyun actually is.
You scoff “You sound like you had a great time with him.”
“He is smart! He is an unpolished diamond. Gosh, if he changed earlier, he would already be ranked second now.”
You gasp offended at his remarks “Excuse me, I am second place. I am not giving up my spot to Jaehyun.”
Taeyong only smirks and giggles before giving you a side friendly hug “Kidding princess, don’t sulk!”
You pinch his cheek “Princess? Who is that? I’m (y/n). Ugh and also there is something fishy about Jaehyun, please be careful but if you can do me a favor…” you make a mysterious linger that is enough to make Tae so curious
“Tell me what you want.” your best friend already knows that tone.
You click your tongue “If you win the bet, we will eat sushi.. But then.. Find the real reason he is suddenly being this nerdy.”
Taeyong shakes his head and continues eating “You have a side eye on him changing to be a better person? I just think he wants to be better and nice, which is good.”
You shrug your shoulders. “There’s just something fishy, I can smell it.”
Jaehyun keeps his eyes focused on your back. He doesn’t have the courage to sit directly in the direction to see your face. No, you will notice that he is spying on you and you will think he is a creep and shoo him away. That is the last thing Jaehyun ever wanted.
“Jaehyun, there is a big party in Lucas’ house, you won’t want to miss it.” his best friend, Johnny comes with a cup of cold coffee and joins Jaehyun who only sips on his Banana milk calmly. Although the dents in the straw show how nervous he is just seeing you laughing and playing around with Taeyong.
“Ew by the way, what happened to your hair?” Johnny suddenly pauses from chattering about girls and basketball when he sees Jaehyun’s unstyled hair.
Jaehyun shrugs his shoulders “Running late today and didn’t have a gel.”
A stifled laughter can be heard and a snort from Johnny as he slaps Jaehyun’s back “Bro you gotta be kidding.”
But Jaehyun’s simple shake of head makes him gulp and tries to ask something else “Okay, you were late, who was the lucky girl?” Johnny wriggles his eyebrows but Jaehyun just sighs “No one. I didn’t sleep with anyone okay.”
His tall best friend laughs and expects to see Jaehyun cracks into a laughter too for pranking him, but the brown-haired boy didn’t laugh so Johnny stops. “Wait. Fuck. You were serious? Gosh you could’ve told me and you can borrow my hair gel. Come, let’s fix that hair.” Johnny almost stands up but Jaehyun holds his hand back. “No need. I want it to be like this.”
His Chicago man just sighs “Okay, but let my hand go please. Let’s blow some smoke before chemistry class.”
Jaehyun grits his teeth, he knows Taeyong doesn’t smoke. Judging from the smoke-free smell on his uniform, Jaehyun knows you prefer guys who don’t smoke. But his head is heavy and he needs his nicotine.
His eyes travel back at you, who is already leaving the canteen and Jaehyun finally stands up from his chair, places his hands into his pockets and Johnny almost spits out his drink.
“Who made Jaehyun tugs his uniform inside? What bet did he lose?” was all Johnny can think of
Jaehyun was right, his head feels better after the nicotine. He should admit being the center of attention for dressing up tidy and not styling his hair felt like walking through a hall of shame. But he should do this for you, if Taeyong can have a great lunch with you every day for being a good role model, Jaehyun can be like him too.
“Okay, so do you wanna carpool or come alone?” his other friend, who just joined to blow some cigarettes, asks with his Japanese accent.
Jaehyun throws the stick on the ground, steps on it and squishes it to put out the fire “I am not coming. I got tutoring from Taeyong tonight.”
Yuta, the Japanese guy, chokes a little and coughs “Whoah which teacher dares to do that to you?”
Jaehyun raises his brow, “Can’t I just study and be good? Why does it always have to be punished?”
Yuta and Johnny just shake their heads and pat his back “Well, your life is your choice but if you need us, you know where we will be. Go enjoy your time with that goodie-good boy.”
Just like that, Jaehyun smiles and leaves them because he doesn’t want to be late.
One week has passed, and the teachers are amazed with Jaehyun’s super attitude. He still at some time got caught cheating, or loitering around the hall during classes, smoking, and sometimes still late in the morning. But his uniform is always tidy, his hair no longer needs to be cut by the disciplinary teacher, and his grades are slowly rising. Though some teachers think he is cheating, most of them can swear they put Jaehyun on the front seat and keep their eyes fixed on him.
“I got a 75! Taeyong, you need to teach me more!!” Jaehyun shows off his Math test, a score that is still red in the report card, but one week of lessons with Taeyong and he is already getting improvement is great.
“Whooah, easy. You are taking advantage of me.” Taeyong smiles weakly.
Jaehyun slaps his forehead “Right, how can I forget to ask how much is your hourly cost?”
You, who were sitting next to Taeyong overheard this and burst out laughing “If Taeyong did not come up with a price, ask me. I’d be more than happy to receive the hourly pay you give to Taeyong for teaching you stuff.”
Jaehyun feels his ears turn red but he tries to calm down. This is the very first time you talk to him.
“I am (y/n),” you reach out your hand. Jaehyun quickly takes it and shakes your hand “Jae-”
You cut him “We all know you. I just thought that we were in the same class but I never properly introduced myself. But now that you are close to Taeyong, I guess I have to start to know you. Don’t steal Taeyong okay? I have no other friends.” you giggle and pull a tongue out. Jaehyun is still shocked from all of this and he groggily nods his head “Don’t worry.”
You pack your bag and all, “See you in the cafe Tae!” you wave to Taeyong who was still looking after Jaehyun’s paper.
“Cafe?” Jaehyun asks, well how come he never knows you own a cafe.
“Ah right, I promised to see her work. Last week I did not come at all since I stayed behind to teach you this.” Taeyong shakes the test paper.
“So, we will study in the cafe today? In (y/n)’s cafe?” His voice sounds too hopeful and too eager. Taeyong’s face shows a little bit of frown but he only shrugs his shoulders “Not her cafe, she works there and she makes the best coffee. Come, you might not know the place because I think you’re more of the green mermaid coffee guy.” Taeyong just snickers and walks a few steps in front of Jaehyun.
“Wait for me.” Jaehyun’s voice sounded too happy. Never did he think that studying with Taeyong can be another reason he can observe you from afar.
The young man used to be on the top ten of his class ranking. He used to win a lot of singing and piano contests. He joined his mother on volunteers and charities until she fell sick and had to leave young Jae Hyun to the hand of his hard working materialistic father. His father teaches him trades and money. He became obsessed with playing with his money, losing big or winning on some good day. That money doesn’t go to charity but goes straight to his pocket. Once his father becomes busy taking working trips, he makes parties in his house. Buying drinks and shoes. He becomes a mess without a mother figure and a hard working dad. Jaehyun seeks comfort from his fortune, from girls, but no one... no one has made him feel like he has his motherly figure until he met you. He saw you helping the other students study, how you helped the new students make themselves get used to the school during the orientation. He admires how you always seem to bring a home cooked meal that sometimes you share with Taeyong or other classmates. For once, he feels like his mother is here again with him. He orders himself a cup of moccachino and when you deliver the cup filled with a heart latte art, Jaehyun knows this will be his go-to order, no matter how bad his stomach will protest the next morning.
It has been two weeks of more shifts for you in the coffee shop, since you need to cover up for a sick worker. Taeyong and Jaehyun always come by to do homework and review for their test materials. Taeyong picks a chair next to your cashier place so that you can listen to what he is reviewing and Jaehyun can steal small glances at you.
“Can you please please please cover up for me this one time?” your coworker suddenly receives an emergency call and you need to take over the shop.
You almost protest, saying that you need to study for a big test, but seeing her panic state, you cannot say no. So, for the rest of the day, you were handling the cashier and drinks with just one other worker.
“I’m going home. I will fake your homework this one time since you need to review for the quiz.” Taeyong says when he packs his bag to go home.
You smile and give him a quick hair ruffle. “Thank you so much! You’re my lifesaver. Just make some mistakes, it's okay in case they think I cheated you.”
Taeyong just laughs and teases about going to mess up your paper and you come back with a snarky remark. Finally the closure becomes less crowded as Taeyong and some other people leave.
You glance at the clock, it’s almost 10 and Jaehyun is still trying to finish his homework on the same desk.
“Hey, are you stuck? Looks like you’ve been in the same number for ten minutes.” You suddenly appear next to Jaehyun, on your quick break, since there are two other workers now.
“Oh,” Jaehyun turns red. “Yes, I am a bit stuck here, but I will try to find it in the book.” he runs his pencil through his hair. You sit next to him to see the question and Jaehyun can smell a whiff of your strawberry shampoo.
“You are correct up to this part, then you need to do this.” you take over his pencil and scribble some equations on his paper. He scans it and seems like he understands it “Ah right! Thank you so much. Sorry to bother you.”
You shake your head “No worries, also you haven’t eaten dinner, do you want any sandwiches? We sadly only have those.”
“No worries, the cakes I ate earlier were filling enough. When are you going home?”
You check the clock “30 more minutes.”
“And where is your house?” he suddenly realized this sounds wrong “I mean is it far?”
You chuckle “Chill , it’s only a 15 minutes walk. You can go home if you want.”
“Oh, well it’s quite late, if you dont mind can I walk you home? You know you’re Taeyong's friend and I know Taeyong wouldn’t appreciate it if I let you walk alone.”
You feel your cheeks burn, The Jaehyun is offering to walk you home? HECK YES.
“Ah, yes Taeyong used to do that.” you stand up and get ready to work for the last 30 minutes.
Jaehyun feels his heart break a little, right? Taeyong of course does that.
“Okay then I will wait for you since you didn't say no.”
He waits outside of the cafe, holding to one of his backpack straps. Foot making random line on the ground. His phone shows the fun his friends are having, he can feel his hand tremble upon seeing the post of smokes. He has to admit his nicotine and alcohol addiction side effect is killing him. He feels his bag, almost reaching out for one last box he hid in his bag but he stops when you appear next to him. You lock the door and shudder “Oh it’s cold!”
Jaehyun scans you and notice the lack of jacket.
He quickly takes off his and shyly hands it to you “You can wear this. I don’t want you sick for the test tomorrow.” He rubs his neck when you gratefully wear it over your body.
“Thank you.” with that the two of you start walking back home.
The silence of the night was comfortable enough for both of you to reach your small home.
You look at your feet when you arrive, noticing the living room is still bright which means your family are still awake.
“We’re here. If you are not in a rush, please come inside.” you take off your shoes and before Jaehyun could reject your offer, your mother shows up and invites him in.
Any friend of (y/n) is allowed in the house, that is the motto you grew up with.
Jaehyun happily takes off his shoes and enters the small but warm house. Upon entering he can see the kitchen and the living room, it is indeed small but it has three bedrooms. He’s glad to see you have your own room and your brothers have their own.
“Who are you?” your youngest brother, Haechan, questions when you already return to the table in your pants. The school uniform needs to be hung for tomorrow.
“Sorry we only have tea, she never tells me if she has guest!” your mother apologizes after pouring Jaehyun a cup of matcha.
Jaehyun smiles “Don’t worry, I am only here because I walked (y/n) back. Thank you for this, I know all of you are tired too so I will not stay here for too long.”
“Oh, before I forgot,” you stand up, go to your room, and come back with a brown paper bag.
Your two younger brothers have stars in their eyes “Donuts!!” Haechan and Mark both happily snatch the pack from you.
Jaehyun only observes everything, how you tell them to share because there is only two piece and Jaehyun is here.
“We should share,” you take the donut back.
Haechan pouts “But there is two. One for me, one for Mark.”
You clear your throat and raise a brow “What about our guest?”
Haechan wants to protest but Jaehyun just laughs “I’m good, really. Thank you, but your brother should eat it.”
Mark grabs his fork and cuts the donut into two, “No, in this house we share what we have. Sorry about Haechan being a brat.” Mark pushes the other half of the donut to Jaehyun.
You smile at Mark, ruffling his hair “Please have it Jaehyun, sorry we couldn’t give you a whole donut. Next time maybe.” you grin and Jaehyun feels like jumping now. “Next time…” keeps repeating in his head.
He thanks the brothers and eat the donut, despite the regular taste of the donut, he feels it super delicious because it is shared.
After he finishes the tea and your brother have to sleep, you send Jaehyun to the porch and say goodbye.
“Good luck on the test tomorrow.” you wave at Jaehyun, hiding a yawn. You’re super tired, maybe you can just review in the morning.
Jaehyun waves back and walks away, one block away from your home and he hails a cab.
--
You end up sleeping after showering, too tired from the shift and you sleep through your morning alarm to study. All you do is wake up, shower, pack your lunch and quickly run to your class.
You arrive to the school, bending to take a breather on the gate and you feel a hard slap on your back.
“Ready for test?” Taeyong chuckles when you glare at him.
You shake your head “I slept last night instead of studying.. Too tired. I just hope it’s not too hard.”
Taeyong nods and smiles “You’ll do great, don't worry about that.”
You smile “Yeah, I’ll be second!”
The two of you high five and walk to the class.
--
“I did not get second!” you scream when you see your result and upon searching your name from the bottom, you found your name in the sixth place.
Taeyong was celebrating his first rank streak while standing next to you who is still stunned by the rapid drop of your rank.
“This must be a mistake!” You run through the top five ranks and there you see Jaehyun’s name on the second rank. Second. Jaehyun.
Your fist balled and you punched the paper, “I hate this.” you run away and hide in the restroom.
Was that all a plan? Walking you home, talking to your brother for a while, holding you back from studying, while he studies so hard he could get second!
But you cannot blame him for everything. You hide in one of the stalls and cry. He only tried his best, he got lucky while you forgot to study.
You are born perfectionist, small things like this make you so upset and mad.
You did not show up until the last class, which of course makes you earn detention.
You are called to the office, they ask you why you did not show up in classes and upon your explanation they kind of forgive you for this one, but they still send you out with a white envelope.
You gulp, knowing what this is supposed to be. It has the school stamp on it, and by the way it is addressed to your mother, you know this is something about your scholarship.
s
Jaehyun comes home with great news, he jumps rank to second and he got a new scholarship offer. The deal is if he can keep the performance for two more tests, he would be offered a scholarship. Jaehyun knows Taeyong is a scholarship student, so that must also give him a plus point right? (Y/n) would like someone who receives a scholarship, he smiles as he drops his body on the bed. On the table of his room, there is a big box of his favorite donut shop. He will go visit your home to give your brother some donuts tonight.
What he doesn’t think is, you won’t like a person who snatched your scholarship away.
To be continued..
“I told you he was fishy,” you scoffed at Taeyong, who cannot believe the letter he holds in his hand.
“They take your scholarship away just because you ranked 6?” he scratches his head.
You nod “The promise was top 5, once I go below that,” you wave the paper.
Taeyong sighs “If I knew this was his plan, I wouldn’t help him too much.”
You laugh ironically “I mean, if Jaehyun did not study I would still make it to the top five! The seventh rank got two points below me, the fifth got one above me! If Jaehyun just stays in his rank, I am save Tae!” you laugh and wipe your tears.
“Fuck my life. Now I gotta pay the school’s tuition for this month 70% more.” you pick out your phone.
“That means extra fifteen hours of work per week, how can I manage this while maintaining a top 10.” you lean on Taeyong’s expensive soft bed.
Taeyong rubs your knees “I told you, I can always help.”
You shake your head “Not that way, I don’t want to owe someone money. I’d rather have our friendship long lasting than borrow you money and risk everything we have.”
Taeyong squeezes your shoulder “Do you want me to stop teaching him?”
You shake your head “He wants to change, and that is good. I will just work harder and find out his true intention.”
Taeyong nods “I am here for you. Sorry if it turns out this way. I did not know he could be this bad.”
Jaehyun steps back from the door, no he was not eavesdropping at first. Well, he went to your home to send the donut. Giving it to Haechan and Mark who were the only one at home, saying it’s a treat because he scored nice. The two brothers were so happy and gave away your location which is Taeyong’s house.
Jaehyun knew Taeyong’s house from studying there once, so he made his way there. When he arrives in the big house, the assistant tells him that Taeyong is in the room with Y/N. He was so delighted to see you, maybe this is the start of something new. Maybe she will be interested in him for being more and more like Taeyong.
He stops his knuckle from knocking when he hears some discussion loud enough to be heard from the door.
Jaehyun pauses, something about his heart tells him that showing up might be a bad idea since he was not invited nor close enough to burst inside.
His smile fades out when he hears the problem, your scholarship, his score and now Jaehyun feels like he wants to cry.
No, he has no intention of pushing you off the rank. It was a totally wrong idea.
He crosses his fingers upon hearing Taeyong’s reply but his heart shatters when Taeyong also thinks that Jaehyun was doing this evil thing on purpose.
Jaehyun ponders, he can either go inside, clarify it and maybe talk to them about his true intentions, or he can run away.
Jaehyun chooses the second one, because running away is the easiest thing to do when you are not ready for consequences.
warnings. depression, anxiety, mentions of suicide & just sad stuff?
— disclaimer: If you are uncomfortable with said warnings, please don’t hesitate to exit this story!
AUTHOR’S NOTE.
idk i just had to write this. i was so immersed into this story that i couldn't stop jajaja. i guess everyone can relate to this? not me writing ib stuff omg
WORD COUNT. 754
Jaehyun found your journal. The black journal with gold polka dots and the sayings DOT DOT DOT. he opened it and what he saw broke his heart.
He didn’t know, he didn’t notice it. He was about to blame himself but he stopped as he remembered you saying
“babe, if anything happens to me or if you see anything heartbreaking, please don’t blame yourself. It is never your fault. Please remember that.”
He read the 3 paged contents written by you.
“I’m scared. Will i be able to do this? Will i finish what i started? anxiety pours over me. I don’t know what to do. Unable to tell anyone no matter how vocal i am.
Will i achieve my dream? Will i tell myself “congratulations, all your hard work paid off”? Those teary nights, those procrastination build up, those anxiety attacks, those slumps, will i ever be able to say goodbye to them?
I have no idea what i’m doing in my life. I feel so useless. What can i even do? I study & i study, & yet i still can’t answer the questions on the tests. What’s wrong?
Why am i here? What did i do to deserve this? Maybe i’m just not fit for academics…? I don’t know. I’m not sure.
It’s so painful to know that my parents worked hard to give all this & yet, i can’t seem to do anything right; no matter how much i try.”
Jaehyun flips to the next page.
“Am i just plan dumb? I wonder what my IQ is. i just want to make myself proud, my parents proud, my family proud & those around me proud. I want to be able to prove those people who didn’t believe me wrong.
Most importantly, i want to prove to myself that i could do this, no matter what & that i deserve this. But it also pains me that i often get compared to my parents’ friend’s children.
Indirectly or vice versa, intentionally or vice versa, with ulterior motives or vice versa. As a means to show look what they’re doing now, you’re still stuck here.
If i were to say that, i’d definitely get a comeback of ‘you ungrateful brat’ in a nice way. Is it wrong to feel this way? It hurts. It hurts a lot.
To a point that when i cry, nothing comes out. My tears are inaudible, same goes with my screams.
Jaehyun flips to the last page.
“My screams are not heard. That’s how painful it is. But what can i say or do? I am just lost. I always feel like i don’t want to be here. I’m not supposed to be here. Can’t someone else replace me?
Why do i have to go through this when others have it easy? Why am i so dumb? Why can’t i get things right? I’ve been held up by 2 years but why can’t i do it? Why are those around me up there?
Why am i so behind? Why didn’t i do better when i had the advantage of doing so? Why? Just why? I keep on asking myself that. Why? Why can’t i be vocal about how i feel?
Afraid of the comebacks i believe? Maybe. Why is it so hard for me to confront everything? Why can’t i be okay? Why is it so painful? Why does it hurt so much? I feel like all my efforts are useless.
I understand concepts being taught but why can’t i answer the questions?”
He finished reading the 3 pages of your feelings that you poured on the pink and white striped papers. But you look so happy, he says.
How did i not notice this? I’m sorry, baby. I will be there for you starting now.
I’m sorry it took me too long to realize it and i’m happy i stumbled upon your journal. If not, i would’ve never found out about this.
Tears started pouring down his soft, pale skin. His heart breaks with you.
He still can’t believe you’ve been hurting even though you show your happiness whenever he’s with you.
He makes a mental note and a promise to himself that he will help you. He wants to help you even if you push him away because he knows.
He knows that you hate receiving help from others but hopefully he will be an exception.
Jaehyun needs the happy you, not the happy but dead inside you. He wants you to be happy, not discouraged.
He believes in you.
la fin. / to be continued...?
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
if you’ve read until here, thank you so much! it means a lot. take care <3!! do let me know if you want a continuation of this!
feel free to drop your feedbacks!
love,
heartj4yn0.
DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Bad Boy!Lee Jeno x Good Girl!Reader
summary: in which you’re used to your best friends getting all the boys and standing on the sidelines, and jeno is dared to convince you he’s interested in you
[Genre] Highschool au, fluff, angst, mystery, comedy.
[Groups mentioned] Stray Kids, NCT, GOT7, Itzy, and others.
[Word count] 3.5K
[Warnings] possible underage drinking, use of profanities, descriptions of depressive feelings and discussion of body image.
Note: Even though this story is set in some kind of ‘high school’ environment, I’ve kept a very abstract approach to character age. I’ve mentioned some characters being ‘a bit older’ or ‘a bit younger’ instead of being picky with ages because in reality, there are years between some of the people mentioned and the majority are past any level of basic education (irl). In my case, when I went to school there would be very large age gaps between people in the same grade, and my graduating group had people that were up to seven years apart in age. I guess it depends on the cultural/regional setting, but this is fictional, so I’ll make it work.
Nonetheless, I will assume that most of my readers are US based, so because of the drinking age here, we can assume that in this chapter, characters will partake in underage drinking. Additionally, if this story develops to include smut (which is still up in the air) I want to be very clear that I am envisioning every character to be at an age where they can legally consent, even though this varies from legislation to legislation. I have lived in countries where the age of consent is different than in the US; that is why I am keeping it ‘abstract’ concerning age, because it can be a different scenario for each reader. It’s a thin line that’s nuanced by culture and jurisdiction.
Nonetheless, I am not writing this for minors to be inserting themselves, and I hope that regardless of your normative setting, you are taking a healthy and safe approach to the content in this material, if it ever becomes sensitive.
Ignoring the throbbing pain in your wrist? Check.
Pretending like you hadn’t just been at the center of the most dramatic event of the week even though everyone was staring at you? Check.
Crossing your fingers that Jaemin would try to keep as calm as possible and not freak out like you were about to? Check.
Make your way through the growing crowd in building B in the most discreet way possible? Check.
You and Jaemin eventually find Jeno, sitting with Jisung (their Jisung), Renjun, Haechan and (thank goodness) Chenle, all in a neat little makeshift bleacher of old desks lined against a wall. Chenle scoots his backpack and pats the spot next to him, while Jaemin gives his friends a look to give the two of you space. Jisung and Renjun were just in class with the two of you, the five of them were all certainly aware of what happened.
“You look like shit.” He says flatly. All you can do is sigh and wait for whatever he’ll say next, and thank goodness for his sunglasses or else he’d be seeing you tear up just as you took in that last breath.
He speaks up again after thinking of what he could say to make you feel better. While gently placing his hand over your good one, Chenle asks “But, are you ok?”. His voice is soft and full of worry, which is uncharacteristic of him. In the busyness of everything happening around you, the comfort your friend is expressing is drowning everything else out.
“I’ll be fine.” You say. If you had said anymore, a whimper would have undoubtedly made your voice quiver. So you leave it at that with a small nod, and Chenle pats your hand again in acknowledgement.
“You can keep the glasses. They look better on you.”
“I know.” You say, and finally you let out a little nod and a smile. He smiles too.
“He’s an idiot you know.” Chenle continues as you both lean back to watch whatever nonsense is being set up. Some people play music from who knows where, while others argue for silence as they insist that they’ll all be caught.
“Yeah, they’re all idiots.”
“No, but he’s an idiot.” Chenle knows. You know he knows, and he wants you to know he knows with another reassuring hand pat. This cold, spoiled, rich kid has a soft spot somewhere in his center, and you’re glad that he’s sharing it with you at the moment. You wish you could grow comfortable enough to show him your soft spot too, someday.
“I know.” Is all you can say. You want to say more, but not here, and not now. At least Chenle gets it and lets the subject end there.
Lifting your gaze up, and while the last students are getting settled in, you see one of the most unwelcome sights you’ve ever laid eyes on. If Yuna were here, she’d be thrilled to witness it, because at the moment, Johnny Seo is making his way towards you in all of his masculine glory – and you do not even care to deal with it at the moment.
“I’m gonna go. I just, I can’t – ” You stutter to Chenle while picking yourself back up. He nods and he gets it, seeing Johnny stop and try to follow you.
“Johhny!” Haechan calls out to him. “Just – not now, ok?” Chenle eyes the interaction suspiciously; he’d been picking up on that ‘situation’ for a while now. Johnny does back off with an apologetic look and raised hands, but it’s all past you as you continue to rush out. Chenle thinks; he’ll have to corner Haechan to ask him about it when the time is right, but for now, he watches you leave while worrying if you’ll be okay.
As you walk away and the crowds disperse you let out a breath of relief. Finally alone, you feel a bit more okay. No need to hold it all in anymore. Until –
“Y/n!”
Fuuuuuuuck me. You turn around and at least its Somi who you’re met with.
“Y/n! Are you ok?” She asks, slowing her sprint just as she reaches you. “Some of the boys told me what happened, I was so worried. Shouldn’t you be home?”.
“I’ll be ok, its just my wrist and it’ll be fine in a couple of weeks. But I am heading home now.” Somi takes you into her arms in a delicate hug, then she holds you by your shoulders, inspecting every part of you to verify it was just your wrist that had gotten hurt.
“Uuughghhh, that little bitch, I swear she’s gonna get it someday… pissing so many people off...” She mumbles on, mostly to herself. You assume it is to herself because there’s no way Somi couldn’t tell how spaced out you were getting. You wanted to get away, to unwind. You take one of Somi’s hands in yours.
“I think I’m going to go now, ok?” She calms a bit and nods while looking at you sweetly.
“If you need anything just let us know, you know were here for you.”
“I just need some alone time right now. But…” You hesitate to continue; you didn’t want to cry. “We’ll talk later, ok? I promise I’ll text you.”
With that you leave.
Your aunt was out of town, you had an excuse to leave school, you had cash on you. You had everything you needed to give yourself the most amazing ‘me’ time you could imagine. Deciding to splurge on a taxi, you go home as fast as possible.
On arrival you take your clothes off, leaving a trail from the entrance to the second-floor bathroom. Somewhere along the way, you tossed your backpack away too.
You turn up the water to the hottest setting and let it melt the tension in your muscles away. You let it melt those icky dried tears from your face. It doesn’t seem to melt you up from the inside though, your core staying as cold and hard as usual. You don’t know if the glove on your hand can get wet, and you don’t care. You’ll figure that out later. All you do know is slide down the wall like some formless blob of misery and cry and cry and cry in this safe small space where your tears mix with the water and no one could see you.
Why were you so sad, and not angry?
There was anger, for a moment, when you confronted Felix and Hyunjin. You didn’t get the chance to let it lash out at Emmy and her lackeys, but there’d be a time for that. You tried to feel your feelings, and no, you definitely did not feel anger. This was pure sadness.
Misery, smallness, pitifulness, melancholy… all of those sad shades of blue.
Hyunjin’s sweater was blue today. Fuck. Not him again.
That idiot! That Idiot! Chenle was right, he is an idiot! Damn you Hyunjin!
Why, why, why did he make you feel like this? You’d been so stupid, so eager to see him smile, to wait for him to hop back on your side and be your friend again, like he had almost been before that witch snatched him up. You’d been so eager, dreaming of him waking up from whatever spell she put on him, waking up to realize he’d want to be with you.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! You’re the idiot.
You refuse to recognize your feelings. If you bury them, it’ll be easier to get over this. You do not like – correction, did not like Hyunjin. No affection, no attraction. No, no, no!
Maybe, the most painful thing in all of this, was feeling like there was so little to you, such few good things, that the boy you were – were not – swooning over would prefer a vile person like Emmy. That you’d be second choice to someone as superficial and empty as her. That he would never give you the time of day just because of – of what really? Her face? Her pretty, perfect, perky figure? Her sensual touches? Was that the only thing he’d look at?
Because the more and more you thought about it, you were sure that on the inside you were better. You were kinder, gentler, you’d appreciate him for things she never could. You’d appreciate his personality, the things he did. She just wanted the face, the height, the body.
Maybe he just wanted that too. All of those outside things. Is that all that mattered in the end? Would you always come in second to girls like Emmy just because those were the only things people would care about? Why?
You wanted to be angry, angrier at her. But again, this was sadness, and it had a name and a face in your mind: Hyunjin.
You felt stupid, and you felt unloved. You felt so stupid for all of those times you’d dreamed of him. Maybe he wasn’t all that. Maybe he wasn’t the sweet person you thought he was. What If he was as empty as Emmy too, and you’d only been consumed by his looks?
You curled up into the smallest ball you could, imagining that you’d get smaller and smaller until you disappeared. You felt a weight shrink you, and you hoped it would shrink you into nothingness so that you could take all of these feelings along into nonexistence with you.
Back at school, Yuna was worried, very worried. She’d tried texting you, calling you, and when nothing seemed to work she decided to wait for Chenle at lunch to get the details on what the hell happened today.
“What the hell happened today?” Chenle calmy puts down the sandwich he was about to bite into before Yuna interrupted him and gathers his thoughts to say the following in the clearest possible terms, and to avoid the throng of questions that Yuna would want to ask. With a preparatory breath, he began,
“Y/n went to class today with Roberts, and as she was about to sit down, got her chair kicked out by either Emmy or Jacob. No one is 100% sure which of the two it was. Several people saw though, including Felix, who proceeded to call them out. That then escalated into a fight of sorts, and Jacob punched Felix in the face. His nose bled, and contrary to popular belief: no, it isn’t broken.” Chenle stopped to take a slurp of his iced tea, cleared his throat and continued.
“Simultaneously, as the fight occurred, Y/n was dealing with her injured wrist. Roberts told Jaemin and Hyunjin to take Y/n and Felix to the nurse’s office, respectively. Apparently, there was a bit of a tense situation in there, but Jaemin didn’t give us too many details. He later walked her to building B a while ago, and she was there with me and the boys, but she left before anything really happened.” Another sip, and a pause to catch his breath. Yuna was wide eyed and attentive, nodding at every detail.
“She didn’t seem too bothered by the wrist when I saw her, and she could have been downplaying it, but Jaemin said it was a mild sprain. It probably hurt, and she is most likely upset, so she went home.”
Yuna didn’t say anything while still processing everything, so Chenle concluded, “I don’t know if she needs space or if we should do something.”
“What can we do?” Yuna asked concernedly.
“Well, we can go visit her after school. I mean, she’ll probably be happy that Emmy and Jacob will most likely be expelled by the end of the day… that’ll help a bit.”
“Get her some food?”
“Yeah… and some company. I feel like I should be there making her feel better.” The words shrunk into mumbles as Chenle went on.
“Hey, since when are you all lovey dovey like this? I thought you only did that with your dreamies…” Yuna teases while pinching his cheek and making an icky face once she said the group’s nickname.
“Since never if you push it... and it’s called being a good friend for your information.” Chenle says as he swats her hand away.
“Yeah… you’re kinda evil and bitter and stuck up, aaand snobbish, but you’re a good friend.” Yuna lets Chenle drop his guard before launching an attack to pinch both his cheeks this time.
Once the water ran cold, and your sobbing had stopped, you managed to pull yourself out of the shower. You took some of the pain medicine in the bathroom cabinet after eyeing the label instructions lazily and headed to your room. Laying naked and wet in bed in your towel, while blankly staring at the ceiling, seemed like the only thing your motivation would allow.
After what felt like eternity, but was in truth just an hour and a half, you forced your body to get up and find some clothes. It seemed that however numb your sadness had left you, your body eventually succumbed to shivering.
In the midst of said shivers, and your pitiful shower before that, you’d avoided all sort of contact with your phone. It seemed reasonable to go look for it, but you could only imagine it had been blowing up. Once your body was reasonably dry, and you were snug within layers of loungewear and a robe, you headed downstairs, picking at the trail of clothing you left behind.
Oh goodness, you could hear the buzzing from within your bag even at a distance.
Chat 1:
Chenle: Yuna and I are going over after class. Maybe some of the boys too. Is that ok? We promise we’ll cheer you up and bring you food.
Whats up with him? You thought, before replying “That sounds good… thank u <3”
Chat 2:
26 messages from YunaAaAa that all said “ARE YOU OK?” or something along the lines, and concluded with “Chenle and I are going over to your place after class, end of discussion.”. Your reply was an “Ok” followed by emojis. “And please bring ice cream to soothe the pain away <3”, hell, after today you were totally entitled to ask for ice cream.
Chat 3: (This one, however, left you frozen in place and you swore you felt your heart clench a little.)
Jeongin chemistry: Hi Y/n, its Jeongin! I still have your number saved from that one time we studied together. I heard what happened and I’m glad its not serious and I hope you’re home taking care of yourself and resting. <3
Honestly, this is all such a mess. I’ve known you for a bit and you always seem so nice and I know how Emmy and her friends can be. You can probably tell I usually avoid them as much as possible, but its hard when my friends have a bit of a history of dating some of the worst people in school. Hehe.
What I mean to say is, I’m very sorry this happened to you. I know you’re upset at Hyunjin, and at Felix a bit too, or that’s what they said, but they’re not bad guys. I know Felix stood up for you today, but that was only today, and I know Hyunjin is like an idiot in love and never sees anything his girlfriend does as wrong, but neither of them are bad guys. They both felt really bad about this, and everyone agrees they weren’t exactly on the right side of things, but they want to apologize…
I just want you to know they are very sorry and want to make it up to you, especially Hyunjin. He kept mentioning that he felt awful, not just for today, but because he sort of looked back and realized why you’d stopped talking to him all of a sudden… and he finally understood that, despite him not really paying attention at the time, the people he hung out with weren’t the nicest to you.
So, considering all of that, please don’t be upset that I gave him your number. <3 😊<3
Get well soon and let me know if you need me to send over any notes from class!
Fuck my life, you thought. Whhhhhyyyyyy. That last thought might have actually escaped your lips as an animalistic and pained groan, because the last thing you needed, today of all days, was to have to deal with Hyunjin. You wanted to live in a world without him, without any of this embarrassment, you just wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing.
And darn that Jeongin for being so sweet and nice and pure, because had anyone else given Hyunjin your number you’d curse them for all eternity but, arrrgghhh it just had to be Jeongin.
“Jeongin, thank you for checking in on me. I’ll be ok. <3” Send. What to say next? Think, think. “It’s been a bit of a long day, so I think you and your friends can understand that I just need a bit of time to rest after this.”. Yes, formal, abrupt, to the point. Good.
You put your phone in your pocket and headed to your kitchen to get yourself a big glass of water, suddenly realizing how sore your throat had become as soon as you gulped it down.
Bing! Great, who was it now?
Bing!
Unknown:
Hi Y/n.
I’m not sure how to say this, but…
There are a lot of things I’d like to say.
To you, about today.
I’m so sorry.
And everything before that, I’m so sorry.
This is all my fault. I should have done something a long time ago.
But I totally get it. I understand where things went wrong now, and I’m sorry I didn’t do the right thing.
If I’d done things differently, none of this would have happened.
I’m so sorry about your wrist, I really hope it doesn’t interfere with class. (Oooh great, you hadn’t even thought about that.)
And I am so sorry, above all, if I’ve made you feel bad…
I guess I have, and you have every right to be angry. And I can’t apologize for Emmy or her friends, but I won’t defend any of what they did.
I just want to apologize for not doing the right thing for you.
I know you don’t want to talk now
But please,
Please give me the chance to make it up to you someday.
- - - -
And that’s when you started crying all over again like an idiot in a kitchen.
Dramatic much?
You managed to sneak in a few naps in between your bouts of misery before you heard the doorbell ring. When you open the door, you are greeted by Yuna, Chenle, Jeno and Jaemin, each with bags upon bags of snacks and food.
“We’re having a movie night, it was Chenle’s idea.” Yuna says while smiling brightly, shoving her bags into Jeno’s arms, and lunging towards you to give you a hug.
“Everyone said you looked terrible this morning, but I think you’re the cutest, most beautifulest chick in all of town.” Her words muffled into your neck and the thick neckline of your bath robe, and she rocked you from side to side in her embrace. You couldn’t help but melt into her arms and relax, appreciating how her hair smelled.
The evening went by surprisingly well, and as you were all in deep discussion to select your second film, the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” You say while cheerily going towards the door, almost as if only a few hours ago you hadn’t had the worst day of your life.
You open the door to see Somi, standing in all of the glory of the setting sun, and with several glistening bottles of alcohol in her hands. Your face contorts in confusion, and Somi answers the many question on your mind by saying,
“Well, you had a shit day, and we all have a party to go to tomorrow, and I’m not letting any of you first-time drinkers embarrass yourselves – or me by association, for that matter.”
“Where did you get that?” Chenle asks incredulously.
“At the liquor store. Duh.” Somi mocks.
“How?”
“Fake ID, flirting with the cashier, stole it, maybe all three – who cares?”
Your dismissal of the events of that morning went on smoothly through the evening, surrounded by your friends. Everything eventually faded away among the fun and laughter. Whatever happened that evening though, was also forgotten, at least partially, by some of you. By the time you were all strewn about, drunk and sleeping in various rooms of your house, you had a near permanent smile on your face.