i wrote 1300 words on a fic i havent touched in a month and like. i should feel really good about that. because that’s 1300 words that wasn’t there before. chapter 10 is started! it’s like a third of the way done, actually!
but i just feel inadequate bc i didn’t write more than that and what i did write is clunky and doesn’t flow well and isn’t up to the quality the other chapters were bc of the motivation i had at the time and i just.
things are going bad in my head. i’m still out of my anxiety meds and i’m still not in therapy. my flatmates are putting up with my shitty mood like champs and looking after me and i love them for it but like. i’m just. not doing well. i’m trying but it’s not working yet.
anyway i have orientation tomorrow afternoon at maccas. gonna try and make an appointment with the psych on thursday to get my fucking meds sorted. and make sure they know that the ACC therapy didn’t work out and i. desperately need therapy. i’m waiting to plateau into apathy but i’m just angry and miserable and it’s like. detrimental for everyone. i’m done with it. i want a refund.