#new-scenes

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🌻Lazy Day🌻

Today I just played some video games on my PS4. If anyone reading this plays PS4 or Switch don't be afraid to DM me! I just started playing Apex Legends today and I'm into it!! I wish I had played earlier.

I hope you had an amazing day so far. If you're day is just started I hope it's a great one!

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••

[new-scenes]

🌻One Year🌻

It's unbelievable when you look back at the last year and realize how much has happened. This year, for me, was a true year of growth and self reflection. When I think about all the setbacks that I've come across, I can only be thankful for the experiences as they taught me how to adapt and mould me into the person I am today. Not everything was happy and easy. I've gone through probably some of the most life changing experiences this year. I felt like I was being put to the test to see how much I could handle and find out what kind of person I would be afterwards. I would constantly think, "How does this change me? How can I turn a negative situation into a positive life lesson?"

I will admit it wasn't at all close to being easy. I have my wonderful support system who is always there for me to guide me through the tough times. They hold my hand when I can no longer hold it up high. For that, I am so thankful.

One thing that I am very proud of is that I've made the realization that I would like to go back to school and get my degree (I just have a diploma now). If you know me, I was never the best student. It was hard to me to be motivated to come to school and even just study. But now, I'm thirsty for knowledge. I've realized that there is so much that I still don't know in my field and I actually want to go explore and learn. Lately, I've felt like I've just been at a pause when it comes to knowledge. I don't want to limit myself to only knowing what I know now. I'm so young still and I have the power to go back to school and learn about anything that interests me. That is what I'm so excited about.

You never know what is going to happen in a year. It feels like it should be a long time, but it goes by in just a blink. This time last year, I was moving out of my childhood home and into a really sh*tty apartment. Because of stupid circumstances, we ended up renting a house instead. Fast forward to now, I'm only a week away to moving into my dream apartment with my best friend.

Everything happens for a reason. I'd like to think that everything that I've gone through this year, I was meant to go through to become the person I am now. I feel more mature, stable, and aware of myself. I also feel strong, beautiful, and (some-what) healthy. It is such an amazing feeling to be at peace with not only yourself, but your life. Even if you're not at your finish line, it's always nice to sit back and just be thankful for the life you have and what it's given you.

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••

[new-scenes]

🌻Letter To You🌻

The way that you spoke to me was absolutely disgusting. No human being deserves to be treated like that and I can't believe it came from my own blood. Any bit of respect I had left for you is completely gone. It was a decision you made to talk to me that way. It was the most shame I've felt in my life.

The worst part is you wanted my best friend to sit there and listen to you absolutely "verbally abuse me" (they're words, not mine). I'm glad she did. You showed your true colours. I can't wrap my head around the fact that you actually believed that you have any right to talk to me like that. No matter what a person can do to me, I could never.

You called me a dumbass. You called me an idiot. You told me to shut up multiple times. Not even letting me get one word in. What did you think that was actually going to fix? For you to threaten my safety, regardless of your intentions of that statement, I genuinely don't know you as a person anymore.

It's terrifying that you had the capability to talk to someone like that. I've known you my entire life and was completely blind sided.

I tried to apologize. I ensured that it won't ever happen again. I approached you saying that I understand why you're upset and had every right to be. I came to you with the utmost respect I still had for you. Just for all that to go down the drain.

If you think I'm the kind of person you have painted me out to be, then please keep believing it. I am not an idiot and actually care about my health and safety. I am fully aware of what I do and what is at stake here. I have no time for people that have proved to me over and over that they have 0 respect for me.

I will literally pay you to move out. I don't care where you go but you're not welcome here. If you decide to stay then act like I don't exist please. I don't know you, you don't know me. As much as I can tell you about my life, you don't know one bit.

~ sincerely, ••new-scenes••

[new-scenes]

🌻Not Enough🌻

No matter how much of myself I gave to you it was never enough. Whether I gave too little or too much; in the end, it was not enough. There was nothing that I wouldn't have done for you; but that was not enough.

One day I hope to be enough for someone. Even when I am being too much or too little. Someone, one day, will love me. For me. I will be enough.

This one still breaks my heart to this day. I truly, truly loved you. Everything about you. I always believed the most in you and I still do. I still want you to succeed. But my heart can't take these aches anymore. It shatters me every single time. I cannot do this anymore.

I need to let go. I want to let go. You need to get out of my head. It is driving me crazy but a small part of me hopes it'll be you in the end. It's time for me to let go of that hope. Because now, you are not enough for me.

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••

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🌻BEST FRIEND🌻

It's my best friend's birthday today!!! This person has been my number one for the past 10 years. ❤️ This post to show her some love!

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••

[new-scenes]

🌻Mental Break🌻

What is your winter break going to look like? Is your city on lockdown? Do you get snow where you live? Do you celebrate Christmas?

Since I am on a new work schedule, today was my last day in the office before my winter break. I still have to work from home until the 18th but I don't have to go back in until Jan 10. I'm super pumped about this break!

My plan is to lay in bed for majority of this break. I also want to rearrange my room. Discover more music. Definitely will be gaming a lot!! (If you play Warzone or Switch games hit me up!!!) The main idea for this break, to me, is just getting a pure mental break from just life in general.

I love being on my own schedule with nothing in the back of my mind. The pressure from work/friends/family has just been irritating lately. It's been making me want to crawl into a whole again. I just feel very restless when others are around me.

Something about me is I always cater to people. To people I'm physically around, my family or friends , or a significant other. I always need to make sure that the people around me are taken care of before myself. I feel as if it's both a good and bad quality I have. So when that goes on for too long and I don't get to have time to myself very often, I being to get restless. Even when I'm not around anyone. It's definitely a hard battle I've been fighting with myself.

What is your toxic but positive qualities?? What is your partner's/ex-partner's? I'm very curious!

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••

[new-scenes]

🎄Merry Christmas🎄

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Please stay safe & healthy.

~ sincerely, •• new-scenes ••