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Back in Hell

Hwang In-ho x spouse!reader

(reader is mostly gn but is called señorita and uses the women's bathroom, so they could be impliedfem!)

Summary: You and your husband reenter the games to watch over Gi-hun and the brewing rebellion. Things take a turn after you are injured during the brawl in the bathroom.

warnings: canon-typical violence, injured/dying reader, pushy flirting?, mildly suggestive at one part, mentions of drug use, discussions of trauma/grief, hospitals, nightmares

It was an incredibly hard decision for In-ho to make regarding your safety while he went into the games to watch Gi-hun. He didn't want you anywhere near them. He knew you had played in them before, but he didn't like the idea of you going back in.

And you were okay with staying as far away from them as you could. You were hardly involved with the games at all. You avoided watching them. It all reminded you too much of your own experience.

You didn't win your games with physical prowess. You stayed off to the side, never taking too much attention from the other threats. You stayed unassuming, watching the others for weaknesses. Then to finally end the torment, you used it against them. You hated being forced into that situation. Your actions still haunted you to some extent. It was necessary for your own survival, but you didn't think you would ever get rid of the guilt.

You both knew that if it came down to it, you would be able to defend yourself in the games. There were many risks, but staying on the compound wasn't much better. The power struggles in the control rooms were starting to get concerning. He didn't fully trust the Officer. He wouldn't put it above him to try to seize control of the operation. Involving you would make that very easy. In-ho would do anything for you, even giving up his role. While he would still be unable to stop the Officer's plan, at least he would know you were safe from his machinations. Weirdly enough, being in the games was more safe than staying out for you. You didn't want to go back in, but you knew it was probably for the best.

In-ho planned to observe Gi-hun closely, while you watched from afar. He wanted to be able to connect with Gi-hun and learn about what makes him tick. You were meant to watch for anything Gi-hun would try to hide from him.

You were supposed to be distant, but Gi-hun had a habit of taking in strays. You were sitting alone after the first vote, quietly observing the others when the man walked over to you. You assumed your red badge drew him in. You hadn't done anything else to make yourself known.

“You know, you're welcome to join us if you'd like.” He offered.

You looked up at him before shaking your head. “No, I wouldn't want to intrude-” You began before getting cut off.

“We don't bite, I promise.” One of them called out, the younger man with long hair.

The others laughed, but you weren't sure if that was meant to reassure you or not. Your eyes flickered to In-ho who was in their group. He gave the smallest nod.

You nodded. “Okay.” You agreed. He gave you the slightest smile, something that actually shocked you. From all the surveillance you had done on him in the past few years, he was never close to smiling. It put you on edge a bit, just since it was so out of the ordinary.

You integrated into their group rather well despite your attempts to distance yourself. You wanted to seem distant, like you were protecting yourself emotionally from something. Despite this, the rest of the crew welcomed you warmly.

Gi-hun had invited you in because you reminded him a lot of Sae-byeok. You were highly observant and quick-witted, but you were reserved and guarded from others. You hadn't made that connection, but he had realized it almost instantly. There had been this gnawing guilt in him that thought if he had just reached out to Sae-byeok earlier, if he made more of an effort to befriend her, then maybe she would have walked out of there with him. Maybe she would have told him of her injury sooner. He didn't want to make that mistake again.

Talking with In-ho around the others was rather awkward. It felt like what couples did to spice up their romance, meeting up and pretending they don't know each other. It didn't help that you needed to call him by a different name. The only moments you truly felt comfortable were the few moments you both were alone. You would be able to talk freely with the short amount of time you had.

You never got to talk for long. You mostly shared whatever information you thought was vital for the other to know. Sometimes you would make a joke about something that had recently occurred, and In-ho would try to redirect the conversation without showing you he found it funny. He was just trying to keep focused on the task at hand.

If you were sure you were alone, you would try to steal a kiss from him. The first time you did it, In-ho was more flustered than you ever remembered him being. But he returned the favor the next time you were alone with a kiss that nearly swept you off your feet. He then immediately walked away from you, a smirk creeping onto his lips. After having to go back to the others without alerting them to your flustered demeanor, you decided to forgo your private displays of affection.

-

The first main wrench thrown in your plans involved Thanos and his promoter who you never caught the name of. Nam-su maybe? It was after the six-legged pentathlon when they approached you.

You had been sitting in your bunk eating your dinner when you noticed the pair moving toward you. You didn't acknowledge their presence intentionally, hoping they were going to someone else. They weren't.

Thanos leaned forward so he was somewhat into the space of your bunk. “Hey, señorita.” He drawled.

You finally looked up, seeming unenthused with his attempt at flirting. “Can I help you?” You asked.

“Wow, cold as ice.” Nam-gyu muttered under his breath.

Thanos ignored him, a smirk playing at his lips. “You know, I'm offering a one-way trip to Thanos World. It's free for a pretty thing like you.” He said.

You didn't react much at all. “And why should I?” You asked. Your tone wasn't outwardly negative, but it was enough for Nam-gyu's gaze to harden. He glared at you, but Thanos was still trying to work his magic.

He smiled, playing up his charm. “I saw you hanging out with some of those geezers back there,” He said, nodding toward Gi-hun, Dae-ho, Jung-bae, and ironically your husband. “They won't be able to appreciate someone like you.”

You tried not to laugh. The irony was killing you. Your husband was back there, the man couldn't appreciate you more. Plus, Thanos was implying they were considerably older than you, which wasn't the case. You were definitely a bit younger than In-ho, but it wasn't a drastic difference. But you doubted that the two in front of you were sober at the moment. Their perception was probably clouded by whatever substance Thanos was able to sneak in. It was hard not to notice them taking pills from the cross necklace Thanos had tucked under his shirt.

You decided to try to let this interaction end peacefully. Key word being try. “Um, I think I'm good. Thank you.”

Nam-gyu chuckled, covering his smirk with his hand. His gaze turned to Thanos, waiting for his friend's reaction to you.

“You know, we could have a great time together if you would switch out that badge for a blue one.” He said. He reached out to grab the X patch off your jacket.

You leaned back to evade his grasp. “Can you just back off?” You said, instinctively raising your voice. The room started to quiet down at the commotion. These two frightened you. They were unpredictable and that scared the hell out of you.

“What an ungrateful bitch.” Nam-gyu spat, glaring daggers at you.

You stood your ground. “Go fuck yourself.” You shot back, gaze hardening.

Thanos was livid. You moved back toward the wall. “That's it, I'm-”

Before he could finish his threat, he was yanked to the ground, and Nam-gyu fell back with the sound of a fist hitting his flesh.

Their forms were replaced by In-ho. He nodded toward the others in your group before turning to continue to teach them a lesson. You didn't hesitate to comply, walking behind some of the beds to get away from the fight.

When you rejoined them, you watched In-ho closely. You had faith in his abilities of course, but the two of them made you nervous. To be frank though, they got their asses handed to them. In-ho had the purple haired man pinned to the ground with a hand on his throat. He contemplated bashing his head in, but he relented and walked off toward you. The VIPs would probably get more entertainment if he was alive.

In-ho was still on edge as he returned to your group. You looked over at him, giving him a bow. “Thank you, Young-il.” You said softly, a hint of relief in your voice.

He looked over to you. “It was no problem.” He said curtly. You could see that the confrontation got under his skin, but you didn't have a way to comfort him while remaining in character.

“Y/n?” Dae-ho asked to get your attention. You turned to look at him. “What happened over there?” He asked.

You sighed. “Just two assholes not taking no for an answer.” You muttered. He gave you a knowing look.

“It was about time someone knocked them down a peg.” Jung-bae added with a chuckle. You agreed with a nod, but you didn't seem comfortable with the conversation topic.

Gi-hun noticed your anxiety. “Well, you can just stay with us from now on, okay? In the meantime, we should try to figure out what the next game could be.” He said, trying to lead the conversation elsewhere. You gave him a slight smile of gratitude

-

Later that night, you had moved into one of the empty bunks near the others. You were very close to where In-ho was sleeping, or at least you would be if he was actually sleeping. He was sitting with Gi-hun and talking under the pretense that he couldn't sleep. You couldn't either, so you didn't have anything else to do but listen in.

He told Gi-hun the story about his first wife, how she got sick while she was pregnant. Most people would probably feel uncomfortable in this situation, their current partner talking so highly about their ex lover. But you never saw it that way. From stories you have heard, she seemed like a lovely woman and a caring wife. He still grieved her and so did you in a way. It hurt you to know that he lost someone who was so important to him. You wish you could have met the person who made him so happy.

You still got a bit emotional yourself whenever he told the story, mostly on his behalf. You knew how much it pained him to remember her passing. You soothed him from the nightmares he had. You could tell he was getting emotional again. You weren't sure if it was genuine or just for show, but it was probably a mix of both.

“That's why I need the money. She is my second chance at happiness. I can't lose her. I-” He started, stopping for a moment to collect himself.

You felt your own eyes watering at his words. You knew he was talking about you with that statement and it was touching. You stayed quiet as he moved back toward his own bed.

Later on that night, you had awoken from a nightmare, jerking up like you expected someone to hurt you. That was about to happen in your dream. You had relived an experience from your games, but with Thanos and Nam-gyu replacing the players who usually haunted your mind.

“You okay?” Gi-hun asked, sitting up in his bed. You jumped slightly at the unexpected sound.

You nodded. “Yeah. Sorry if I woke you up.” You murmured softly. You didn't want to talk about it.

There were a few seconds of silence. You thought Gi-hun had gone back to sleep until you heard his voice again. “You know, I get nightmares too sometimes.” He said.

You didn't know how to respond. You were somewhat annoyed that he tried to shift the conversation topic to himself. That was just like him.

“What do you usually do to help them?” You asked. You didn't know what else to ask. You already knew what they were likely about.

He sighed softly. “You don't. Unless you have a time machine, you can't undo the events that haunt you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “That's awfully bleak.” You said. You were almost baiting him there. You wanted to see if he would agree with you.

“The world can be that way. The trauma never leaves you, but that's not always a bad thing. It fuels me to make a difference.” He said.

You hid your disgust for the cheesiness of his statement. Of course that's something he would say. But you'd be lying if you said there wasn't a part of you that didn't find his reckless optimism inspiring. But that optimism was exactly what made him a threat.

“Hm… I never thought of it that way.” You murmured. You sighed softly. “Thank you.” You added before rolling over and begging any higher power out there to let you get some sleep.

-

Mingle served as a sign for what was to come. It was one of the most chaotic games ever included. The turnstile in the center was one of the biggest engineering projects the operation had seen. It was a horrific experience overall, and it was ironic that you and In-ho were going to be forced to endure it.

You both knew the order of the numbers in the room. There had been a protocol prepared for the occasion in case the two of you would be eliminated. Your elimination could be announced and you either would get escorted from the main game hall or the room itself depending on the situation.

It went swimmingly until the second to last round. The speakers announced the number was three. You, In-ho, and Jung-bae made your way to a yellow room. You all entered and Jung-bae slammed the door shut. But there was another man in the back of the room.

“Get out, now!” Jung-bae ordered him.

The man protested. “I was here first. I shouldn't have t-”

He was cut off by In-ho's arm around his throat.

Jung-bae yelled out, “Quick, throw him out.”

In-ho shook his head. “Shut the door.” He ordered. He tightened his grasp as he slid down the wall as the man lost consciousness.

You looked away, unable to watch the act. It reminded you too much of what you had been forced to do to survive in your games. You heard the door click shut.

You never really watched the games with In-ho. While you loved him, you never liked the brutality of the games and never got involved in them. In your time here, you had seen dozens of people die, but this was different. This was too personal. You tried to keep yourself calm, but you whimpered when you heard the sickening pop of the man's neck.

Jung-bae watched in horror, eyes wide. No words were exchanged. In-ho stood up, leaving the dead man on the ground. You all knew it needed to be done. Jung-bae looked horrified, you were in shock, and In-ho seemed indifferent.

The former marine left the room first. You looked over to your husband, exchanging a wordless glance. You both knew the next part of the plan. The next number was 2, and you both would get the room together.

You met up with the rest of your group. It didn't seem like Jung-bae had told anyone else about what happened in the room. Maybe he accepted it was necessary.

Gi-hun spoke first. “What number do you think is next?”

“Two.” In-ho answered.

You looked over at him, trying not to seem too concerned. Did he really just give that information up? “What makes you say that?” You asked, the slightest warning in your voice.

He didn't seem phased. Maybe he had done it on purpose to seem smart, or maybe he was just good at improvising.

“There's 125 people now. There's 50 rooms. They must want an even 100 for the next round.” He said.

Gi-hun seemed a bit confused with that explanation, but no one had the chance to question him as the merry-go-round started to spin. The music blared over the speakers. Could they have picked a more annoying music track?

When the number 2 was announced, In-ho grabbed your hand without hesitation. The two of you made haste toward a room, narrowly closing the door before another pair were planning to force their way in.

One the doors were locked, you wrapped your arms around him, taking a shaky breath. He embraced you almost instantly, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“I can't do this anymore, I can't.” You said, trying not to lose all of your compawosure. You flinched in his arms when the gunshots echoed through the game hall.

He shushed you quietly. “We're almost done, okay? We're set to get out of here before the next game, remember?”

That wasn't soon enough for you and he knew that.

You took in his presence for a moment longer. It had been so long since he was able to comfort you like this. As Young-il, he was limited in what he could do because everyone else thought he had a wife at home, not at his side currently. You took a deep breath before pulling away with a nod.

“I love you.” He said quietly, like the words were only meant for you to hear.

“I love you too.” You murmured.

The doors unlocked and swung open. Any feelings lingering from your outburst were left in the room.

You tried to believe him. This was all almost over. All that was left was the voting, right?

You thought that was the case until Gi-hun had mentioned his plan to take over the games. You exchanged a nervous glance with In-ho. You both knew it was a possibility. There was a plan in place, but there were a lot of variables to consider, mostly the other players.

In-ho seemed to be on board with Gi-hun's plan, willing to do what it takes to stop the games once and for all. In reality you knew it was so he would be able to get out of the dorms and back into the control rooms.

You meanwhile were a bit skeptical, but you didn't voice your concerns about it. Your plan in case of a coup attempt had always been to find a way to sneak out after the main group leaves. You didn't intend on aiding them at all, just getting your way to the staff only section of the building as soon as possible.

You eventually stood up, saying that you were going to go use the restroom. In reality, you were just going to go clear your head. You just needed a second to breathe and remind yourself of the plan in place. You needed a clear head for this.

Any chance you had at composing yourself was gone once you heard the commotion in the men's room. It sounded like the whole room erupted into fighting and screaming. You heard a loud crash that you were unsure of the cause of.

As much as you wanted to just hide in the bathroom, you decided that was probably a mistake. You had already put a target on your back ever since you stood your ground when Thanos was bothering you. The Os did not like you whatsoever. If one of them saw you had gone in there alone, you were stuck in there. The only exit would be easily blocked and you'd be trapped.

Running out of the room would be just as risky. You didn't know what you were walking into or who would be waiting for you. But it was also the only chance you had of getting back. You took a shaky breath and tried to shake the tension from your limbs. Your hand trembled slightly as you reached for the know. Now or never.

You swung the door open and took a step outside of it only to be met with an already bloodied O player. His face was splattered with blood and his hands were covered in it. His face contorted into a sick grin upon seeing the red badge on your jacket. You moved to evade him but he shoved you into the wall.

Before you could make a sound, the man drove some sharp implement into your lower abdomen. You let out a restrained scream before the man in front of you was stabbed in the neck with one of the forks from your dinner. Another X player pulled the fork out of him, causing some of his blood to spurt out of the wound and onto your skin. Each drop felt like acid as you realized what just happened. “Go on, go!” Your savior had yelled before getting attacked himself.

You looked down at your wound, seeing a shard of the mirror sticking out. The crash you heard must have been the mirror shattering. It wasn't a very wide piece, but it appeared to be rather deep. Blood oozed from it slowly, likely hindered by the glass itself closing some of the blood vessels.

You zipped your jacket to hopefully hide the wound from most of the players in the dorms. You entered the room with a blank expression, walking toward your group as normally as you could manage.

You probably could have hid it too if players weren't following you out of the hall, yelling about the brawl in the bathroom.

In-ho watched you closely, concern growing with every moment. Your breathing was shallow as every breath felt like the shard was plunging deeper. Your arm was pressed against your side, hoping to conceal the wound from the other players.

Once you got close enough, In-ho spoke. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked. He knew the answer. You obviously weren't okay. He could see the tears welling in your eyes.

You shook your head slightly, biting back tears. Your hands shook as you grabbed the hem of your jacket and shirt, lifting it with a grimace. You exposed the wound to them, the cold air stinging somewhat.

There were different reactions from each of the members of your alliance. In-ho was seething. You could see that he wanted to find whoever did it and make sure they were dead. But he didn't. He couldn't. If he reacted that strongly, it would seem out of place. People would question him and he couldn't lose their trust if Gi-hun was going to attempt to carry out his plan.

Dae-ho seemed almost queasy. He had seen so many others die in these games, but there was something different when it was someone close to him.

Gi-hun's eyes seemed far away. He wasn't seeing you, he was seeing the scared young girl that had been haunting his mind. Your injury was almost identical to hers. You hadn't recognized the comparison until you saw his reaction.

Jung-bae and Jun-hee were concerned and were starting to think about ways to help you. You couldn't observe their reactions much longer as you felt your legs start to give out underneath you.

In-ho was at your side in an instant, strong arms wrapped around your form to keep you upright. “Hey, it's okay. Let me help you down.” He murmured. He was restraining himself from spilling out all of the words on his heart. He lowered you gently, sitting you on the ground.

Jung-bae was grabbing a bedsheet to help pack the wound as Jun-hee offered a piece of advice. “Should we take it out?” She asked, referring to the glass shard.

Every other person disagreed quickly. She sheepishly muttered an apology. In-ho tried not to seem annoyed by her. He knew she was trying to help, but he couldn't help but be frustrated.

What annoyed him more was Gi-hun trying to get them to hide under the beds. You, Gi-hun, and In-ho all knew the protocol. They would allow just enough bloodbath to be entertaining without taking out too much competition, then they would storm the room.

In-ho turned to snap at him, to tell him that now wasn't the time, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist gingerly with your hand. You looked up into his dark eyes. There was a storm of emotion flooding through his mind.

“Young-il, it's okay. Jun-hee can help me. They need you out there.” You said softly. Your words had multiple meanings. You weren't talking about the players, although the others would assume that. You were talking about the soldiers that needed his direction to deal with this situation. There had never been a crisis of this caliber. Not since Jun-ho, but even Jun-ho's infiltration of the compound was harmless compared to what Gi-hun was planning. They needed the frontman more than you needed your husband.

He didn't say anything. He couldn't. The only words that wanted to leave his lips was I love you and he couldn't. It was killing him. At least he felt like it was. He felt like someone was crushing his lungs. He couldn't breathe. Panic was surging through his veins but he needed to hide it.

What if you died? What if he left you here and you succumbed to your wound? He didn't think he could live with himself. He couldn't lose you too.

He stood up without a word, but it killed him inside. Every step he took was another pile of dirt over your coffin in his mind.

Gi-hun's plan was appearing to go smoothly. You knew it wouldn't be for long. The soldiers who went into the room were given very limited ammo in case a player would get hold of their guns.

They had soldiers waiting for their signal to crush the rebellion quickly. There were hardly any soldiers in the halls. They wanted to give Gi-hun some false hope. A sense of security. Just to watch it crumble.

Every decision Gi-hun made was something they had prepared for. It didn't matter what they did. This was predetermined to fail from the start.

-

For what it was worth, Jun-hee was trying to help you as much as she could. She was nervous to do much of anything with your wound. She let you hold the sheet against it, not wanting to hurt you at all.

Some of the others who you had associated with briefly were flocking to you. Most of the room had their eyes on you. You tried not to allow it to make you nervous, but it did. Being injured in the games was basically a death sentence. If you didn't die from the injury itself, you were likely going to be picked off since you were now an easy target. Even worse, right now your greatest protectors were nowhere near you. You had to rely on people you barely associated with before Mingle at all. They seemed nice, but you were wary.

You didn't want so much attention. You wanted to be able to slip out of the room undetected. You wanted to be able to get to the staff halls to get the help you desperately needed.

You got your chance to do so when Dae-ho ran back into the dorms for the second time. He was inconsolable, panicking about whatever was happening. You knew it was probably trauma from his time in the Marines. While attention was on him, you forced yourself to stand up, whimpering at the pain it caused.

The older woman heard you. She moved toward you, hand resting on your shoulder gently. “What do you think you're doing? You'll only hurt yourself more.” She fussed, her motherly nature shining through.

You shrugged her off, starting to walk toward the door. “They need that ammo.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Are you insane? You're injured enough. Sit.” She demanded.

You ignored her, her protests only filling you with more determination. You needed out of here. They wanted you to stay because they thought it would be saving you, when it was going to kill you. They didn't know that you had a five minute walk to some of the best doctors in Korea. You could feel your blood start to soak through your clothes. You didn't have enough time for this.

“Y/N, wait!” Jun-hee yelled, voice breaking slightly. You turned to look at her. You did feel bad for the girl. She deserved better than to be here. Her and her unborn child. You knew you were one of the last of her main allies in the room. You'd be leaving her alone.

You took a shaky inhale before speaking. “I'm gonna die here anyway. I may as well try to help the cause.” You said, voice cracking with a sob. You were crying from the pain and frustration. They were stopping you from getting help, and you were getting annoyed even though they had no idea.

No one said anything. They knew you were right. You took your leave.

Your pulse pounded in your ears as you made your way through the halls. The neon colors blended together as your vision started to blur. Fuck. You didn't have time for this. You stumbled over the makeshift bag of ammo. You had half the notion to take it with you so they couldn't have it at all, but you didn't think you could get back up if you bent down.

You kept one arm pressed to your wound while the other helped you keep your balance by trailing along the wall. Your sleeve was covered in blood. The warm liquid made the fabric cling to your skin. You could smell the metallic scent of your own blood and it made you sick to your stomach.

Your vision started narrowing as you neared the staff exit. “No, no, no.” You murmured, words slurring slightly. You can't die here. You can't do that to In-ho. He didn't deserve that. It would crush him. You desperately tried to resist the impending doom of losing consciousness.

You took a deep breath before sliding down the wall, sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around your middle. You leaned your head against the wall.

You hoped he would forgive you.

-

In-ho maintained himself the best he could in the situation. The panic was still there, but he was able to push it down for the time being.

He was just so sick of dealing with the players right now. His annoyance caused him to be even colder once he officially gave up the act (if that was even possible).

He killed the two players with him without hesitation, using the radio to taunt Gi-hun and make it sound like Young-il died with them. Watching the man take his last breaths while revealing his true identity was exhilarating, but he didn't have time to revel in it.

He made his way to the control room. He didn't pay too much attention to the other guards and soldiers. He needed to finish this without thinking about anything else. If he lost focus, he would break down.

His hands fumbled with the mask as he put it on. The mask made him feel suffocated, like he couldn't breathe. He wanted to rip it off and forget it ever existed and leave to find you, but he still had a role to play here.

He didn't think to tell the managers to find you, because he thought you were still in the dorms. He couldn't have them go into the room and escort you out, that would be a huge violation of policy. He would figure out how to get you out of there soon, but right now he needed to quell the rebellion.

And that he did. With a few remarks to Gi-hun and a bullet for Jung-bae, the rebellion was officially taken care of. The soldiers with him restrained and took Gi-hun to a safe place. There the VIPs could decide what to do with him. It was of little concern to In-ho now.

He made his way into the control room as quickly as he could. On his way, he began to hear elimination announcements over the loudspeaker. He knew your number wouldn't be called in that scenario, but it still put him on edge.

When he returned to his rightful place, the announcements had slowed. He started to scan the cameras of the dorms, hoping to see any sign of you, any sign that you were still alive. But he didn't find that from the camera.

“Sir,” someone called out from the sea of square masks, “There's another player in the halls.”

He turned, walking over to the man's monitor. It was you.

He would have rather seen you in the dorms. Blood had smeared down the wall as you slid down it, so he at least knew you didn't fall. He couldn't even tell if you were conscious. If you were alive. Were these pixels on the screen going to be the last time he sees you alive?

“Send a medical team there. I'll explain to them.” He said, turning on his heel to leave the room.

“What's the point? Just kill them like the rest.” One of the circle guards muttered.

The thudding of boots on the tiles stopped suddenly. In-ho turned, the blank eyes of his mask boring holes into the man's soul.

One of the other guards with him muttered something like “You fucking idiot.” They had all been told. They all knew that you were to be protected in the games. Whether his comment was genuine forgetfulness or disdain, it still pissed In-ho off.

His gloved hand hovered over the holster for his pistol. He hesitated for a split second. He wanted to end him right then or at least a lecture to make an example out of him. If he hadn't been around to correct the mistake, the guard could have killed you.

But his concern for you overpowered his thirst for vengeance. He didn't have time for that. The guard wasn't worth it. If you died and he had wasted even a second, he would never forgive himself.

He continued walking, taking long paces through the halls. He knew where he was going even after seeing just the view of the camera. He knew this place like the back of his hand.

He was kneeling in front of you in an instant, fingers fumbling with his mask to take it off. He didn't want that stupid mask to possibly be the last thing you ever see.

His hand reached out to touch your arm gently. “Love, wake up. Please, wake up.” He said, voice trembling slightly. He was just so scared. His heart was pounding in his chest with an intensity he had never experienced before.

He didn't want to shake you to wake you up. That would probably hurt like hell. His shaking hand moved from your arm to caress your cheek. “Open your eyes, please. I need you to wake up.”

He thought he imagined the flutter in your eyes for a moment. When it happened again, he knew it was real. “Hey, there you are. Open your eyes for me.” He said. His voice felt raw, like he could barely make out any words.

Your eyes slowly opened, looking around lazily until you comprehended he was with you. He pulled his hand away, almost like he hurt you.

Your eyes welled with tears. You were scaring the shit out of him and you knew it. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't-” You stuttered out through your tears.

He shushed you quietly. “Hey, hey, you're okay. You're fine. You're gonna be okay.” He said, his voice soft as if the words were only for you to hear.

You couldn't stop yourself from crying. Your hands were covered in your own blood. Your head felt fuzzy, like you weren't fully there. It terrified you. Were you dying? No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't fight off the feeling forever.

“Where's those damned medics?” He muttered, glancing up and down the hallways. He was going to have a stern talking to them after you were patched up. Because you had to be patched up. You were going to be fine. His mind couldn't accept it any other way.

Your vision started to blur once again. You were so tired. “I love you.” You said, your voice seeming far away from you.

His eyes darted back to you. “No, don't say that. You can tell me later when you get better. You aren't going anywhere.” He said, voice almost frantic. You weren't going to die. You couldn't. His breathing grew shallow.

You shook your head. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't.” You murmured.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek. When did he start crying?

You lifted your hand, holding his face in your hand and wiping the tear with your thumb. It left a slight smear of your blood with it. “I love you.” You said stronger, like you were forcing the words out.

He took in a shuddering breath, leaning into your touch. “I love you too.” He said softly. Saying it felt like he was giving up. He felt like he was almost giving you permission to die now that you had said your goodbyes.

But he would have never forgiven himself if he hadn't told you. He needed you to know that.

He heard footsteps, faint at first but then almost thundering. Or maybe it was the pounding of his heart echoing in his ears.

“Sir.” A square guard called. He looked over instinctively without the mask. When he realized and looked back to you, your eyes had fluttered shut.

His instinct was to fret over you, to beg you to come back. But his rationality overpowered that. You needed medical attention and he knew that.

He took a deep breath before pulling his mask on and standing up. “They have a shard of glass in their stomach. It's been there since the Special Game.” He said curtly. He couldn't say anything else. He just let the doctors take control of the situation.

-

He wasn't sure how he ended up in the suite. He didn't even know how long it had been since you had been picked up by the medics. There wasn't any alcohol involved either, just the torment of his own thoughts distracting him from reality.

He had been sitting on the couch in front of the screens that typically showed a live feed of the games. He had shut them off, however. Fuck the games. He couldn't give less of a shit. You were dying because of the games and it's his fault. Everything is his fault.

With them turned off, he was left alone in the dimly lit room. The only light was the pale moonlight bleeding through the blinds on the windows, but he couldn't bring himself to close them nor turn the lights on.

He was trapped in a cycle of torture from his own thoughts. He went from denying there was any chance you wouldn't make it to grieving your seemingly inevitable death and giving up hope.

He was spiraling hard although no one would be able to tell by looking at him. He was quiet and still, staring ahead at the blank screens before him. But you could see the storm in his eyes as his mind waged war against itself.

This was all his fault, wasn't it? He killed you. He may as well have been the one to stab you. The games were his doing. He never should have dragged you into this. That applied to re-joining the games as well as introducing you to the behind the scenes realm. You didn't deserve this kind of life.

The only thing that had pulled him out of his spiral was the shrill sound of the phone cutting through the silence.

His feet moved without him realizing. He answered the phone wordlessly, just picking up the receiver and holding it up.

“Sir?” A voice came through.

“What?” His voice rang hollow.

He could hear the guard clear his throat, unsure of how to react. “They are stable. You can come see them in the medbay wh-”

He put down the receiver without warning. He grabbed the polygonal mask that had sat forgotten on the coffee table. He slipped the mask over his face. The only good thing this facade could achieve was hiding the distress and grief that seemed to be etched into his face.

-

When you woke up, you found your husband asleep in a chair by your side. His head was tilted back against the wall. He looked almost peaceful. You had half the notion to find your phone to take a picture. Despite the circumstances, it would make an adorable lock screen.

From looking outside the small window, you could tell it was early afternoon. By your best estimate, the Special Game and subsequent revolution happened around 10:30 at night, so you had clearly been out for a while.

You looked back over to him. He looked like he really needed sleep, so you decided not to wake him up. You really didn't want to move, so you sat there in silence. The only noises were the faint beeping of the heart monitor you were hooked up to and the soft breathing of your husband beside you.

After a few minutes, you noticed his muscles tense up. You could see his jaw clench as his breathing grew shallow. He was clearly having a nightmare.

“In-ho?” You called out. Your throat was sore, like your voice had been left unused. You knew it was likely due to a breathing tube for surgery. You called out his name once more with no response.

You took a breath, preparing yourself for the stupid decision you were about to make. You leaned toward him, grimacing at the pain in your side as you did. You tapped his shoulder a few times until you saw him stir.

You said his name again, and as he woke up, your voice flooded him with relief. You were okay. You weren't dead. Seeing you like this, in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV and heart monitor, it shook him to his core.

You reminded him of her.

He remembered when he got a call from the hospital while he was on patrol. He remembered rushing into the emergency room in a panic, hardly being able to articulate his words. He was led into her room to see her unconscious in the bed. After the games, he came back to find her and their unborn child dead lying in that same bed.

The image was burned into his mind. He felt like he could see her whenever he closed his eyes. He could see her in the faces of some players as they lay motionless on the ground, just betrayed by someone closest to them.

Now her image began mixing with yours. He felt like bringing you into this world was a betrayal itself, but he didn't think the guilt of leaving you behind in the dorms would ever dissipate. The grief he felt for her, that he still feels for her, bled into the current situation and overwhelmed him.

“What are you doing? Lay back.” He scolded you slightly, just worried about your injury. It was just his nature to fret over you.

You laughed slightly as you leaned back in the back. “I thought you'd be happy to see me.” You said, a slight smirk flickering across your face.

He seemed unamused by your statement, rolling his eyes, but you could see the smile breaking through his facade.

You had plenty of questions. About your own condition, about your former allies, and about the games in general. But you felt there was a more pressing issue.

“Am I allowed to eat? I'm starving.” You complained. Neither of you had eaten anything substantial in days. The games started with some decent food on the first night, but the last few meals had just been milk and bread for the most part.

He smiled slightly. “I had the kitchen staff already gathering the ingredients for your favorite.” He started to stand up, intending on heading down there himself to retrieve it.

“Do you have to go?” You asked. The words were left unsaid, but you didn't want to be alone right now. You were in pain and still somewhat in shock from the experience you had.

He paused, turning toward you. “I'm just going to step out to make a call to get someone to bring it up.”

You narrowed your eyes slightly. “Why can't you do it here?” You pressed. You were mostly joking with him.

He sighed as if he had been found out. “I was also going to surprise you with a juice box from the staff fridge. Is that a good enough reason?” He replied, voice staying neutral but you could tell he was playing along.

You pretended to think for a moment. “Yeah, that's fine. Don't worry, I'll still act surprised.” You said.

He laughed, a sound that gave you some semblance of calm at the moment. You hadn't heard it much in days.

He shook his head as he walked toward the door. You were going to be the end of him someday.

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