"You didn't just accidentally happen to be on the same roof as me Nikolas, I know you've been looking for me,"
"And you let me find you,"
Hakon wrings his hands together as Nikolas walks over to him, the hint of affection in his tone too much for Hakon to bear. Nikolas looks down at him in silence for a moment, hands on his hips before he sighs and lowers himself down to sit beside the man. Hakon looks at him with those puppy dog eyes of his, almost questioning why he wasn't just walking away, he wouldn't blame him for doing so after everything he'd done. But Nikolas wasn't one to hold a grudge, Hakon knew that deep down, and with the way Nikolas rests his temple against his shoulder he knows he hadn't given up on him. Even if Hakon thought he really should.
Summary: Hakon is searching for scrap when a familiar face shows up and interrupts.
Ship(s): Hakon/Nikolas Reeves
Words: 1,789
read on ao3! <3
The sun was high in the sky, signalling it was about midday. The sound of birds chirping and distant shouts filled the cool air, a light breeze swaying through the trees and grass. Torn cloth, ropes and other loose debris sway as a larger gust of wind goes through the city, creaking of old metal joining the cacophony of sounds. Hakon jumps off some questionably stable scaffolding onto a small brick building, landing with a small roll and a grunt. His muscles were aching, he'd been running all over the stupid city, following every stupid order Waltz gave from his radio. Currently he was looking for scrap material, anything really and he didn't care why or what it was for. He just wanted a moment to rest if he was being honest.
Luckily for him he finds a cache full of, to him, useless garbage, but who knew what it would be to his 'superior'. Hakon threw the scraps into his bag half hazardly, face twisting into a scowl as he mutters to himself, about Waltz, about himself, everything that was bugging him. He was sulking. Plain and simple. As he was doing more of lately, in his opinion he had a lot to sulk about. Even if a lot of it could be his own damn fault, that wasn't the point. He lightly curses under his breath as he feels himself getting more and more frustrated, finally putting the last piece of scrap into his bag and slamming the cache shut. He's lost in his own misery until a painfully familiar voice cuts through the air and interrupts him.
"Well look who it is, this your new spot or did I just get lucky?"
Hakon spins around so fast he almost trips, brown eyes wide as he finds Nikolas standing on the other side of the small, overgrown roof. The smile on his face is far too warm and with the heat of the sun also beating down on him Hakon can feel himself melting. He wants to walk forward and hold the man in his arms, kiss him and apologise over and over again as many times as Nikolas would let him. But he knows he can't, he made his choice and he has to live with the consequences. Even if it's tearing his heart in two. He has to stay firm, he has to do this for Nikolas, for Lawan, for the both of them.
"Go home Nikolas, Lawan will put you on her list too if she finds out you were talking to me," He tries his best to sound cold and harsh but it's at best a lighthearted dismissal. Hakon stands, his bag in his now shaky hand as he decides whether he should make a run for it or just stick this out.
"No she won't," Nikolas says, that ever present confidence bleeding off of him as he walks forward. Each step lined up perfectly with Hakon's heart beat and he resists the urge to meet him halfway.
"Go home anyway," He says, turning now so Nikolas couldn't see all the unspoken feelings swimming in his eyes. Or maybe so he couldn't see the ones burning in Nikolas'. He stares down at the bag in his hands, listening and waiting when he should have been walking away. He hears Nikolas let out a short huff of a laugh, the kind of thing he did when Hakon would annoy him but not enough to make him actually angry. It would have made Hakon smile if he weren't so busy internally wallowing.
"Sorry don't really feel like it, it's a nice day out and I'm enjoying the sun, you just happened to be on the right roof at the right time," He can hear Nikolas take a few steps away and when he steals a glance over his shoulder he sees him crossing his arms over his chest and looking off into the distance. Hakon's eyes trail over his strong shoulders, down to his thighs and calves. He looks good and it just makes Hakon more upset. God, knowing what was under the clothes didn't help either. When his gaze trails back up he meets Nikolas' eyes, amusement swirling in them and Hakon turns his head away quickly, running a hand through his short hair in frustration. Hearing the other man's chuckle only fuels his small bout of embarrassment.
"Well then I'll go find another roof so you can enjoy your sun," He huffs, taking a few heavy steps towards the opposite end of the roof.
"Wish you'd stay,"
He freezes. Hakon feels the weight behind Nikolas' words despite the casual way he says them. It's unfair, cruel almost. Hakon turns and meets the honey gold eyes he'd grown so fond of, watching patiently like they always did. Every time he looked into them they were always pleading him to stay, just for another minute. Always just one more minute. He sighs deeply, He could never say no to him. Not in all the time they'd known each other. He doesn't walk over to him, simply walks to the edge of the building and sits down in defeat, letting his legs hang off the side and he clasps his hands together in his lap, looking down at the streets with troubled eyes.
"You didn't just accidentally happen to be on the same roof as me Nikolas, I know you've been looking for me,"
"And you let me find you,"
Hakon wrings his hands together as Nikolas walks over to him, the hint of affection in his tone too much for Hakon to bear. Nikolas looks down at him in silence for a moment, hands on his hips before he sighs and lowers himself down to sit beside the man. Hakon looks at him with those puppy dog eyes of his, almost questioning why he wasn't just walking away, he wouldn't blame him for doing so after everything he'd done. But Nikolas wasn't one to hold a grudge, Hakon knew that deep down, and with the way Nikolas rests his temple against his shoulder he knows he hadn't given up on him. Even if Hakon thought he really should.
He really thought Nikolas should follow Lawan's example, put him on a hit list of his own, maybe they'd both feel better when he was finally dead. But Nikolas wasn't that type of person, he was soft, he could be hot headed and impulsive but when it came to Hakon and Lawan he'd never been anything but gentle and patient. It's like they'd always get a whole different Nikolas when they were together, and if Hakon really thought about it they were softer with him too. But that was in the past. Hakon didn't get to see those soft smiles and glimmering eyes anymore. Or he shouldn't, Nikolas never liked making things easy.
Heaving a heavy sigh Hakon let's his head fall against Nikolas' dark curls, closing his eyes and letting himself enjoy the closeness he had lost the right to. It's not like Waltz or his goons were around to see, he could let himself have this moment with one of his old lovers and not worry about him getting hurt. He'd just stay for one minute, just one.
When the sky eventually changes to a deep orange Hakon knows he's overstayed his 'one minute'. Somehow he'd ended up on his back with Nikolas half laying on top of him, arms wrapped around each other with not a word spoken. Birds flutter through the sky above them and Hakon wishes he could stop time right here, his hands holding on a little tighter to the other man's shoulders. Nikolas looks up at him, those eyes of his so open and intense with their emotions. He knew, Hakon didn't have to say anything. He pushes himself up and allows Hakon to get up.
Hakon grabs his bag and stands, throwing it over his shoulder and walking away. He couldn't bear another goodbye or to look into those sorrowful eyes again. It was really all too much. He regretted letting himself get a taste of that domesticity again because now he just wanted to run away with Nikolas and not look back. But then of course he could never convince Lawan to go with them and she'd no doubt be in danger if he were gone. She was tough but Waltz was something else. Shaking the theoretical thoughts away Hakon steadies himself and puts one foot on the edge of the building, eyeing a place for him to jump down too.
"I'll be here tomorrow, and the day after that,"
Hakon stops at Nikolas's words, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head fall as he heaves yet another sigh. The clear invitation to see him again is all too clear and all too tempting. But he was already putting him in danger by being here, by doing what he just did. He was being selfish and if he came back he'd be risking Waltz finding out and taking it out on Nikolas. Or Lawan. He couldn't let that happen, but the underlying plea in Nikolas' words makes his heart twist so painfully. Knowing he missed him and was undoubtedly hurting left a sour taste in Hakon's mouth, he just kept proving to himself he never deserved either of them.
"Nikolas…" He begins, not really having a plan on what to say. He just knew he had to shut this down somehow. If he was able to. If he could. But Nikolas cuts him off before he can think of something even stupider to say.
"Not holding you at gunpoint, just would be nice to see you every now and then," Nikolas says, trying his best to sound nonchalant but Hakon had spent too much time with him and could see right through the act. This was as close to begging as he could get.
"I can't promise anything,"
"That's okay, I can."
Hakon smiles, it's a morose smile but it's there. He could always count on Nikolas, no matter what. Even when he couldn't give the same guarantees in return. And now Nikolas was promising he'd be here and that only left it up to Hakon. Of course he wondered if he could pull it off, keep Waltz off his trail and sneak in weekly visits with one of the people most important to him. But the fear of losing him fizzled that thought, He couldn't risk it. And he couldn't find his voice to say that, but he supposed that in itself said enough. He jumped off of the roof without looking back; at least he got that one minute. It would have to be enough.
