#non binary kids

[supercrazybooknerd]

Kid: Hey shorty! You're so dumb!

Me: *does not report bullying

Society: Hey make sure you report that kind of stuff.

Kid to my enby BFF: There are only two genders! You're either a girl or a boy!

Me: *reports bullying

Society: Stop tattling!

What the fudgecracker y'all want me to do??? like???

[littlepichon]

The Late Late Toy Show is a tradition on Irish television going back to the mid 1970s, where kids (and the awkward host of the usually run-of-the-mill Friday night talk show) showcase all the hot toys of the upcoming Yuletide season. Generations of Irish people grew up with this annual show and to quote some of my friends, ‘It’s a bit cringe but it’s when you know Christmas is really coming’... ironically or not, most of the country tunes in. This year one child had something special to say and we held each other and ugly cried...

[ineffectualdemon]

I don’t need people to understand me. I just need them to accept that I am who I am and that they can be quiet and deal with it

My 8 year old on people not “getting” their gender

By the way they went on to say “I know I’m perfect as I am because you tell me that and that my family loves me because they all tell me often” which is why supporting your kid and more distant family matters. Because kid is out to everyone and not everyone “gets” it but they all make sure Kiddo knows they are loved. Not “in spite” of anything btw just loved

And that makes them confident and secure in themselves.

[ineffectualdemon]

Kiddo asking the important questions

Today my child wondered if, because “Sky Giants” can “smell the blood of an Englishman” if that means they can ONLY eat English MEN and if that means they (Kiddo) could face one and not be eaten because they are bigender and half American

I mentioned the BFG giants and that’s when I was told that we weren’t discussing Giant Country giants, we were discussing SKY Giants so I needed to keep on topic

[ineffectualdemon]

Kiddo: *thinks about their gender* yeah at the moment I’m just *waves hands vaguely* eh

Me: Hard same Kiddo

[ineffectualdemon]

Pressure to conform

I was reflecting recently on how much happier Kiddo is in their own skin now. It’s easy to see in their face when they’re wearing their favourite dress or cuddle their toy cats or when doing things like trying nail polish for the first time.

They clearly are happier engaging in things that society deems as “for girls”.

That’s not to say they don’t like things that are marketed for boys because they do.

(Side note: I am aware girls can like things marketed for boys and boys can like things marketed for girls. This is an examination of how society tries to pigeonhole not me trying to do so)

Kiddo loves Star Wars and Lego and battles and many things marketed at boys. But I’ve noticed something.

Back when Kiddo came out to us properly 2 years ago something that happened quite quickly is they stopped pretending to like certain things.

Gone were the requests for toys related to spiderman and teenage mutant ninja turtles. The toys they did have related to those things have by this point all been donated to charity.

What all those things had in common was that they were very popular with the boys in Kiddo’s year. It’s what boys liked so I have a feeling that Kiddo felt they had to like it too. They also used to keep their enjoyment of my little pony a bit of a secret and didn’t really ask for toys about it. They certainly were secretive about their love of Frozen. Which, problems with that movie aside, the whole conceal don’t feel thing that Elsa felt about her power maybe spoke a lot to them. (though they didn’t want any toys from that movie)

The point is Kiddo, without me even realising it, was engaged in performative masculinity in order to fit in.

It didn’t make them happy.

I think a lot of us understand how exhausting it is to pretend to like something in order to fit in while concealing what you really enjoy. Be it music, or a book, or movie I think everyone has been there at least once in their life.

Kiddo had to conceal so much and perform to fit in all the time.

Dropping that charade and embracing their real interests seem to have been like a weight lifting off my child. They love who they are and they love what they love.

It’s nice to see how much happier that makes them.

(Just FYI after I wrote this I read it out to Kiddo to check with them that it was accurate and they were happy for me to post it on my Tumblr. They said I got it right and that it was okay)

[ineffectualdemon]

In laws have asked that Kiddo not to wear a dress around them.

We told them we wouldn't ban Kiddo but we would suggest other clothing

We saw my father in law today as he helped us out with a ride to town so we could get school supplies and Kiddo chose to wear a dress.

All I said to Kiddo was "You can, of course, wear that but just know we're seeing Grandad later" and Kiddo looked me dead in the eye and said "They need to get used to it"

And I was all "fair enough, good point" and texted my inlaws a heads up because that seemed fair but Kiddo wore their dress and their Pinkie Pie ears with pride and Grandad said jack shit about it.

Husband may have another conversation with them soon about it but I'm really glad I didn't tell Kiddo no. It's their dress, if they want to wear it they should. I'm also glad that their response to their grandparents being unsure of how to take the gender stuff (they are trying I have to give them that) was to say "get used to it."

[ineffectualdemon]

Look

It's great that little girls can see themselves in the Doctor but think about this: My Kiddo sees a Doctor who is non-binary LIKE THEM Kiddo sees a icon of Science Fiction and sees a genderfluid character who would understand them So that's important as well to just put out there