#not proof reading

[handfulof-hapenis]

No one cares about my blog so yolo but damn I am FUCKED I am IN LOVE and I thought I knew love before, and I did to some degree. But this love? Is waaaay different. Before, I knew how to appreciate a person and things that you were supposed to expect. But after a while it was just like eh ok we're togther... And something we always missing but I just thought eh idk everyone likes him so who cares. But nooo damn I was wrong. I've known this present "new guy" for a while, and I probably love him a tad more than he loves me but to be fair he is a bit of a nudge with everything and doesn't open up to people. I can definitely feel he loves me a lot. But damn, I haven't felt a connection like this... Ever. And I'm so happy and I just idk. IDK I have so many emotions it's actually insane considering I thought I was dead inside for about 6 to 8 months before I reconnected with him.

[oybellafleur-blog]

Maybe my biggest problem is,

instead of just letting myself be happy and single and being okay with people who I love leaving out of my life, I just cling onto someone else. Some from the past, or maybe someone extremely new.... And I never allow myself to just chill, and . . . grieve. It's hard to do because I want so much. I think the ideal of being perfectly perfect with someone is what I fall in love with instead of the actual person themselves. It's their potential that get's me... not them. Maybe this why the "relationships" I do find myself in are always ending up the same. I guess it's true what they say, the past repeats itself ... so it's better to learn now.