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my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

#mine #he showed me pictures of his (very beautiful) nieces and was like #'she's a doctor' 'this one is in finance' 'oh this one has a terrible boyfriend I'll introduce you to her go steal her from him'#and i asked my guy how many of them like women #and he was like only one but you're so tall you can change their minds #also for the record im bisexual but ive been in a girl mood lately #another boneless banger

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

#🐉#new phm fic idea where grace died in his coma with the others and is a ghost animating the ship i said oh im sure

they should invent a secret second weekend so that you can see friends and do fun things while still having enough time to do errands and sleep in without dying of exhaustion all the time

#tag #maybe its still just Winter #but there's just not enough me to go around #im trying to say yes to more - you cant find connection without spending some of yourself in the process #but oh my god how do people live #i hope when the days get longer i remember that i'm solar powered and that this is just the lack of sunlight talking

k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes

only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life

#Rocky: how do humans hunt?#Grace: oh haha we follow them until they get so exhausted they have to sleep. hey why are u backing up #project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky the eridian #7-inches-of-satanic-panic #greatest hits

grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)

rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it

#it's 3am and grace is like would you love me if i was a worm #and rocky's like There Is No Circumstance In Which I Would Not Cherish You #but he's limited by the translator so it comes out like “yes statement. obviously. what is worm question”#and grace is like aw thanks buddy :)#and rocky wants to smash the laptop with hammers #oh shush #project hail mary #phm #ryland grace #rocky the eridian #rocky phm #grace rocky save stars

#oh definitely #text!#*mine

Spelling mistakes? I guarantee neither of us saw those at 3:00 AM Monday Morning.

#in light of a recent comment I got #‘oh will people be able to read my 3am gibberish?’#if someone is reading fanfics at 3am I almost guarantee that everything they are reading is gibberish to them rn. so it doesn’t matter #fanfictions #fanfics #Ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 author #ao3 reader #archive of our own

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