If by Phaeleh
Day 5 - I know it’s past 12 AM when I’m posting, but who cares. It’s my blog, I’m allowed to bend the rules a little. Not promising I’m already doing so during the first week of its existence, but what can I say.
Moving on to the song!
I’m someone who experiences trouble falling asleep. I’m picky about the surrounding conditions: no light, no sounds, not too hot, not too cold. To add to that, my brain is too damn hard to silence at times. I have too many thoughts that decide night time (or whenever I’m trying to sleep) is the best time to make themselves heard. That is how I find myself laying in bed, twisting from side to side, and wishing that simply blocking out your thoughts and think about nothing could work more than once.
Here I was, two years ago on a summer afternoon, trying to snatch a quick nap. I knew I was deceiving myself, as for me quick naps during the days exist in the realm of an oasis in the desert, but I was trying to fool myself into believing that this day was the day I will manage to fall asleep without too much fuss.
As if I didn’t know myself, I decided to turn up some calming playlist in my headphones, wanting to believe songs with minimal to no words could do the trick and sway my mind into a sleeping state without distracting me with other elements.
Needless to say, it did not work that way.
What it did, instead, was help me discover some sweet tunes, which in turn altered my music player’s recommendations enough that I was able to come upon this song. I did not get any sleep, but at least I got this song.
I find it difficult to explain exactly how this song makes me feel. I used to listen to it a lot right after discovering it, which happened to be during a time of my life when I was the happiest in recent memory. Oddly, it is a time I sometimes have mixed feelings about, especially when this song (and others) come up, because it is anchored in such a specific period of time in my life, that it’s difficult not to associate it with certain people and certain places.
When this song is playing, all I can think of is the Ferris wheel lights colouring the night, the empty highway, the race track across the street from the restaurant I used to work at, myself walking to my destination.
