#opiate addict

[theaddictspoetry]

It's a weird feeling-

Feeling like you never belong here,

That you're not made for the world

I simply feel too much.

Words pierce at my skin,

People leave, and everything caves in.

Constant wonders,

Of what its like to be normal...

To not have to stay so busy,

Just to be sane...

Whats in my brain? Whats all this pain?

I search everywhere i go, in everyone i meet,

For a cure. An antidote.

Just something to free me,

even for just a second-

Hoping to free myself of my insanities.

@theaddictspoetry

[heroine-minx]

I just scored two 30mg fent-pressed Oxies and if I don't nod tf out I'ma cut everyone everywhere JUST KIDDING but on the real tho why the last Oxy I had was an 80 and I couldn't even crush the motherfucker, had to swallow the damn thing and feel not shit I'm just saying GIVE ME FENTANYL OR GIVE ME DEATH 😤

[lola-from-the410]

please excuse the grow lights adding some accidental purple ambience but here is the nice lil gram I picked up today 😋

[dream-overr]

I am sitting in the floor in my own filth

High but not high enough, I ran out of money today and passed my credit limit and all I've got to show for it are blackened fingers n walls

I took out a loan at this check cash place. i looked around , scoped the scene, differentiated between the drug addicted, the prostitutes, I guess you could say I'm both, even if my hairs combed back and I'm wearing  black work pants, attempting to look professional , working with the children of drug addicted, of sex workers, of a life im all so removed from and yet  all too familiar with at the same exact time 

I'm not sure there's a point of no return. Where addicts realize well, I'm really in it now . That ship has sailed. My life is one Constant glance at the clock is it time for him to show up in the cvs parking lot hey?? Are you there? I wonder what he thinks of me. Once a young college educated somewhat put together girl with a good job going from once every two weeks , to every weekend, every week, every day , sometimes more than once , circles under her eyes growing bigger and bigger with every week that passes

I was always enthralled by the lives I didn't know I would one day live, of ppl with mental illness, The depressed , manic, suicidal, the cutters, the drug addicts, the sex workers, the abused, the unhealthy relationships , the music, the off-limits passionate sex , the hours spent alone in the dark nothing but me and that straw, well that's what it really does come down to doesn't it? Not all the glamour one might assume. A nap. Driving to the store. Inhale. Inhale. Exhale. Brush out my dog religiously. Watch the sun go down. I thought alcohol was my poison. It's the difference between a crush and being in love. Maybe more than that. Even I'm surprised I'm still in love sometimes. I always thought desire the self doubt and most of all the loneliness, alcohol was there to carry me aimlessly through but there was something missing and I found that piece to fill it all the way back up to the point where I rarely think of it anymore. The urge will come up. I'll touch myself momentarily till I realize I'm bored and ultimately it doesn't feel like much so most of all I sit, refresh, walk to the Liquor store, binge eat, chain smoke, get high enough that I can finally fall asleep in a half dreamy cloud. this is the life of an addict. I used to love the shows about drug addicts, interventions, A whole shiny bright new day, now I just cannot stand it? It feels gross and wrong and voyeuristic. Not much keeps me entertained these days. But I think it's like a vacation . I'll wake up and bam it will all vanish and I'll go back to how things were. I'm okay. I have no money. I'm okay. I'm safe in the confines of this prison I have created but the windows  always open 

I'm obsessed with The apple caramel suckers. They make me feel like a kid. I keep eating them for a week straight and have a million cavities . My dog has a million fleas

I Dont know if we'll be okay

-- sorry if it doesn't make much sense , obviously high when I wrote this, it's been one and a half years later I've lost that room that dog that job that everything . Only thing that's stayed the same (no, admittedly much worse) is the drug use. Sigh

[fiftyshadesofwhothefuckcares]

[opanasky]

2x oxycodone 30mg(V 48|12) 1x alprozolam 2mg (S|90|3) couldnt see straight

[theaddictspoetry]

That's what addiction does.

It makes you believe you're indestructible.

That you have all the time in the world.

That'll never happen to you.

But then,

You miss your grandmas funeral, cause you were stuck withdrawing, with suicidal thoughts.

You still live with deep regret about that.

Then, you get infections, that make you end up in the hospital.

Your addiction is so bad, you leave the hospital to use even though they told you, you can die if you leave.

But you do anyway.

Cause you no longer care.

You start losing everything

Friends, family, everything you own.

Including your mind.

Its no longer your thinking.

Its the drugs, the addiction.

You're losing time from your life, your family won't live forever,

You're slowly dying. Its a slow suicide.

It's never too late to start over,

Its okay to ask for help.

Don't waste your whole life looking for something in drugs,

When its really inside of you this whole time.

All the love you need is inside of YOU.

You just have to realize.

The drugs don't love you, nor do the people you're doing them with/gettin them from.

Love yourself, be who you need the most.

Cause in the end we have - ourselves.

@theaddictspoetry

[gigi249]

Score.