“ well your left hand’s free, and your right’s in grip ” ༄｡°
ᥫ᭡ sublime. pinterest. literally sarah cameron. lana del rey enthusiast. in love with jj maybank. denim shorts. may baby. dazed and confused. red hot chili peppers. cherry flavoured - the neighbourhood. surfer boys. shell necklaces. estp. the beach. supernatural enthusiast. classic cars. bob marley. sandy hair. you are the right one - sports.
“ luke would always tell me when he was drunk off his ass, there’s one thing i know, hell is other people. hell certainly is other people ” ⊹ ࣪ ˖
summary: what happens when all you've ever wanted is to be with jj, but your parents had arranged you in a marriage with rafe?
contains: angst, fluff
a/n: i'm soo sorry for the delay… i had this sitting in my drafts for so long, but didn't have the strength to finish it so here you go 😵💫 i hope you guys like it because this is the last one
the air was thick with warmth after you had gone out of the shower, making the room fill with the signature scent of your soap. no one had come to check on you after what had happened between you and your mom—well, except for when one of the maid would come up just to serve your food.
it made you think if they even care for your well-being, wondering if they ever thought of your mental state after the things they had done. you were a bit hurt by the fact, but what else can you do now? you had ruined everything for them.
thoughts kept playing in your head as you brushes your hair, untangling the ends using the comb you had for as long as you can remember. well, at least the thing you need isn't able to leave you like most people you need the most did.
you sigh to yourself as you stare into the mirror to the sight of yourself. physically, you looked okay, but you can't say much mentally after the things you had been through. a knock made you turn your head towards the door before a voice made you prepare yourself for what's about to happen.
the door creaks open as you're met with the sight of your dad, he looked a bit… sad? you don't know how to describe it, but there's more into it than what you can say yourself. "hey," his voice greeted you, making you look away from him.
"i'm just—checking up on you," he invited himself in before sitting on the edge of your bed, facing where you're still sat on the vanity chair, "how are you doing?" he asks carefully.
"i don't know." you didn't even glance at him as you say it, still hurt by the way he made little to no effort to stop your mom from hurting you. he sense it from the way your voice sounded, already blaming himself for everything that had happened to the point it ended up hurting his one and only child—his precious baby.
he took a deep breath before finally, "i'm sorry." as tears start pooling in his eyes, not so obvious from where you're sitting. "i shouldn't have done any of this, it's all my fault. i know that you have your own plans—your own dream, but i still had the urge to control everything." he sighed with his head down as he look at his hands sat on his lap.
"i shouldn't have let your mom did what she did. i tried every single day to stop her, to give you a chance to live, but i didn't try hard enough for it to actually happen." a tear escaped his eye as he wipe them quickly, "you know that i love you, right? you're my only baby,"
"do you remember the story i used to tell you about how i waited hours for you in labor?" he chuckled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. it made you smile slightly, but you didn't dare to look at him yet. "you were our only hope, our only chance to become parents, and i've ruined it by being the worse father anyone could ever ask for."
your sniffles could be heard now, emotions taking over you as he pour his heart out in front of you. "so i'm fixing this. i'm doing what i should be doing from the start—letting you decide for your own future, for your own good." making you turn towards him, finally looking at him in the eyes.
"i'm calling off the wedding." he calls out, making you stand from the chair to make your way towards him as you wrap your arms around him. you were a crying mess now as he tighten his arms around you, "thank you, thank you, thank you! i love you, daddy."
he laughs softly against your shoulder, tears running down his face now pulling away to look at you, "i love you more, bugs." as he wipe the tears on your face. he cradles your face in his hands before finally, "now, go chase after your dreams."
it didn't have to take him another word for you to already make your way out of the room, the key to your car in your hand as you almost ran towards the driveway. you knew where you're heading to, the only place you could think of—the one running through your mind every single day without a doubt—the chateau.
you laugh to yourself as you drive, the feeling of excitement running through your whole body—almost bittersweet after everything that had happened the last few weeks. the chateau coming into view made your stomach flip as you take a breath, shaky from all the nerves you're feeling.
when your car came into a halt, you look into the rearview mirror just to pluck up the courage for yourself. you notice the ring on your finger when you brushes the front of your hair aside, removing it without a second thought before finally stepping out of the car.
whispers of courageous can be heard as you walk up the stairs to the porch of the chateau, convincing yourself that everything is going to be okay just to calm yourself down. you took a deep breath, raising your fist up to knock on the door.
you're not even sure if he's there, but it's the first place that came up to your mind when it comes to searching for him. the same thought that came up when you first found out about the marriage—he was the first person you thought of, the first person you knew would hurt the most even when he wouldn't admit it to you.
you were just about to knock on the door when it opened, freezing at the sight of the only person you were expecting. he was glued to his spot too, just as surprised as you are when he sees you right in front of him. it's like he wasn't expecting you to be there, especially after the last time you had seen each other at the beach.
"hey," was the only thing you could say after finally finding the words to let out, your hands shaking from the nerves striking up your whole body. "it's good to see you." you mentally slapped yourself in the face at the choice of words—seriously, is that the only thing you could think of?
he was still silent, stepping out of the chateau to stand in front of you as if he couldn't believe that you were right here—right where he could reach for you without needing to sleep for it to actually happen. his silence scares you, expecting for him to push you away like he did the first day he found out.
the one thing you didn't expect him to do is pulling you into his arms, wrapping you in the security of them as he breathes in the scent of you that he misses the most, but it's what he did. you can feel him burying his face deeper into your neck as tears start staining your skin.
"i miss you," his voice was just above a whisper as he says it, pulling away to really look at you. he studies your face as if he wasn't sure if he's dreaming or not, tracing every parts of your face without missing a single spot. "are you real or am i just so high on weed right now?"
you were still surprised, not expecting for him to not push you away as he only pull you closer. maybe distance do make you fonder, finally feeling the lost of someone when they're not there for you like they would always be.
"i hate you," it was obvious you were trying not to cry, not meaning any of it as you hit him on the chest, "you left me all alone, and you made me cry!" there are tears in your eyes now as you bit on your lip to stop yourself from crying. he had your hands in his now, stopping you from hitting him again.
"i know, i was such an idiot. i thought that i was doing the right thing." he leans his forehead against yours, trying to stop his emotions from taking over as he look at you into your eyes. "you're really bad at making decisions." you conclude, tears running down your cheeks now—a smile threatening to escape your lips.
as if something had made him realize, his face starts scrunching up as he pulls away slightly from you, "what about rafe? the wedding?" he questions you, a flash of hope shining in his eyes.
raising your hand to his face, you show him the now empty spot on your ring finger with a playful roll of your eyes, "my dad called off the whole thing," making him smile, the dimples on his cheeks even more prominent as it impossibly could.
you're frowning now as you push him away, "you gave up on me so easily," you huffed out in anger, the betrayal you felt still bitter on your tongue. "you told me you didn't love me anymore."
"what? i never said that!" he defended himself, hands going down to cup your waist as he pull you closer to him. you pushes him away with both your hands on his chest, "'we're just two people who can't seem to leave each other alone after a one night stand' that's literally what you had said to me. word for word,"
"and i said that you don't love me, not that i don't love you." he said, matter-of-factly to prove that it was just a misunderstanding between the two of you. "listen, baby. i'm sorry, okay? i was in the wrong. i took the wrong step to solve something so simple, making it even more complicated."
"yes, and your wrong step could've been me stuck in a marriage for the rest of my life." you turn away from him, sulking now that the 'what could've been' hit you. it was scary to think of—tied to the fact that you're someone else's wife, someone that you don't love, and not his—it made your stomach churn at the thought.
"i acted impulsively because your words hurt me, jayj. i was so sure that you don't love me—that you don't care for me anymore. it's like you never thought of me as something—someone—so important in your life like i did towards you." you pour your heart out right at that moment, but instead of pushing you away like he did the last time, he pulls you into his arms.
"you're everything to me, the only thought i have running through my mind every single day. i never want you to think otherwise ever again." he reassures you, cradling your face in his hands. he looked deep into your eyes, sincerity the only thing you can see in those blue eyes of his.
"if i didn't care about you, then why did i even show up to your engagement party?" he asks, tilting his head to the side with that playful smile of his. you hummed to yourself, "i don't know, maybe to haunt me for the rest of my life for what's about to happen?" making him laugh.
oh, that laugh of his. the laugh you missed the most, the only thing you can hear throughout the days you were left alone with your thoughts. a sound that can make you smile to yourself so easily.
"so, are you going to kiss me or—" you didn't even get to finish the sentence when his lips were already on yours, kissing you like it's the only thing he's able to do—like it's second nature to him, his lips molding perfectly with yours. he pulls you closer as he impossibly could, hands tracing every parts of your body.
when the both of you pull away for air, his hand went up to the side of your face as it cup your cheek. his eyes were twinkling, full with love as he stares into yours. before any of you could say something, a voice from inside the chateau beats you to it, "fucking finally,"
you can see the others inside when you turn towards the front door, the voice being john b's before kiara calls out, "i told you guys that this would happen. couldn't be that easy to separate them," with a roll of her eyes, full of playfulness.
"well, there goes my money." pope's voice made your eyes widened, hurt by the fact that he had placed a bet on the two of you not being able to be together anymore. "how could you do this to me, pope?" you went forward to pinch him on the stomach, making him lurch backward to avoid it.
"well, somebody's gotta do it! everyone had their money on the other one," he calls out, making everyone fall into laughter. you felt relieved, glad that everything is falling back into rhythm the way you always wanted it to be.
it made you realized that the only thing that can fix this can only be your parents, knowing that they're also the reason why it happens in the first place. you felt as though a weight being lifted after getting to be in jj's arms, the last few days of you yearning for it finally happened.
and you hope it would be the last time it happens.
fin.
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a/n: if the ending feels rushed to you, i promise it's not! i'm just so bad at doing happy endings TT
summary: what happens when all you've ever wanted is to be with jj, but your parents had arranged you in a marriage with rafe?
contains: angst, abuse (?)
the engagement party was a success—that's what both your parents had thought, not knowing that something had happened as they were too busy with their social life. too busy showing off to even notice how both their children went home that night with a heavy heart.
something had changed in you after the last time you had seen jj. it would be noticable if someone—your parents—cares enough to give an ounce of attention towards you without making it about them.
it's not like you didn't try to tell them, you did, but the only thing your mom had said was, "we are tired too, honey. i've been up days and nights to prepare for the party that you didn't even have to lift a finger to help. i didn't taught you to be selfish, didn't i?"
you swear you felt yourself going insane everytime they shut you down. it's obvious that they don't care about you except for the fact that you're what they need for the deal to be done. you're grown, you can do whatever you want without them needing to control your decisions, and that's when you have had enough.
they had invited the camerons for lunch that afternoon. your mom has been fussing around since morning, wanting everything to be perfect before they arrive. she even bought a dress for you to wear—a flowy sundress that suits you perfectly.
you were sat next to rafe, the two of you avoiding looking at each other as you eat almost awkwardly. the only thing that can be heard is the clinking of the cutlery hitting the plate as everyone eat with the voice of both your parents talking served as the background sound.
"why are you two so quiet?" rose had asked, making the fork stopped midway towards your mouth. you cleared your throat, hearing rafe doing the same thing as you waited for him to answer the question instead. "we're just—enjoying our food," his answer made you roll your eyes, not expecting him to be this bad at lying—is that not one of his specialty?
"we should talk about the wedding, it's less than a month away. we want it to be perfect, don't we?" your mom suddenly spoke, making you slam the cutlery in your hands to the table as it shook from the force. everyone went quiet, their eyes going straight towards you as you had your head down—hands still sat on either side of your plate.
"i'm not hungry anymore," was the only thing you had said, removing the napkin on your lap as you stood from the chair. rafe looks up at you, eyes following your figure as you walk away from the table. it's not hard for him to guess what you're so mad about, especially when he's one of the reasons why you're acting like this.
"rafe, check on her." ward had told him, giving him no choice but to obey as he stood from his seat. he knows that he shouldn't even be in the same room as you do, but it's not like they knew what had happened between the two of you for him to not attend to his now fiancée.
he ended up finding you sitting on the porch steps, your head turning slightly as you hear the front door opening behind you, "can you leave me alone for once?" you sighed, frustration obvious by the way your voice had raised slightly. he didn't say anything, walking closer towards you, but didn't take a seat next to you knowing that it would just annoy you more.
"my dad had asked me to check on you. it's not like i wanted to," he knew that it's a lie because if anything, he wants to be the one to make sure you're okay. he stood behind you, hands in his pockets as he leaned his shoulder against the wall. "you already did. now, leave." you didn't even spare him another glance as you had said it.
"look. i'm sorry, okay? i fucked up, i know. i knew about your relationship with him, but the deal had to be done anyway so there's no way of stopping it." he had finally said, he can feel the weight in his chest being lifted after apologizing to you.
"deal this, deal that. i'm sick of hearing that shit!" you stood from where you were sitting, facing him as he look down at you. "i'm calling this whole thing off, rafe. i don't care." you were just about to walk towards the front door when he held you by the wrist.
"don't you dare go in there, and tell them to do that." he almost yelled in frustration, holding himself back when he sees the look on your face. "listen, everything has been finalized. there's no going back now."
"we're not even married yet. are you sick in the head to even think that it's too late for me to call it off?" you scoffed, pulling your hand away from his tight grip. "as a matter of fact, we're nothing to each other. i don't love you, rafe, and i'm far from admitting what the relationship between us really is—even with this ring on my finger."
he covers both his eyes with the heels of his hands as he let out a sigh of frustration, "i don't think you understand the fact that you're not the only one who gets a say in this," he look at you in the eyes, hands going over to the sides of your face as he forced you to look at him.
"are you not understanding the fact that i have a say in this, too? when i say that you're my fiancée, then you are. get that shit inside your head!" he tapped his fingers aggressively against your temple as you pushes him away, "what the fuck is wrong with you!?"
"you're only saying this because it's not going the way you want it to be! if this is a two person thing where the both of us gets to make a decision, then why it's always you who does?" and that's what had pushed him over the edge. he hates how you never listen to him, making everything hard for him—ruining everything he thought would be perfect if you haven't.
"stop making everything hard for me, for fuck's sake!" he had both his hands on your shoulders now, shaking you slightly as he yell in your face. "let go of me, you psycho!" you pushes him away, making him let go of you.
"you know, what? jayj wouldn't have done this to me. he wouldn't even raise his voice at me because he's better than you will ever be!" that silenced him, the both of you staring at each other as the only thing that can be heard is his heavy breathing. "don't compare me to that piece of—"
"it's the fucking truth! if you're sure that you want to be compared to for the rest of your life, then own it." you cut him off, jabbing a finger to his chest, making him lean against the wall behind him as he kept his eyes on you. he follows you when you went inside, probably trying to stop you, but didn't put any effort to do so.
"oh, there you are! if i knew that you would listen to rafe—" your mom calls out when she sees the both of you, but you were quick to cut her off, "i want to call this off. this whole wedding thing." everyone went silent, your mom stood up from her seat so quick the chair almost fell backwards.
"can't you guys see that i don't love him, and will never be able to do so? i can't go on like this any longer, please." your mom had made her way towards you, already shushing you to stop. your eyes went to look over towards the others, begging for them to understand you. looking over to your mom, you finally drop the truth, "i'm in love without someone else."
your mom's eyes widened as you look over towards your dad, "he's nice, he hasn't—he would never hurt me—he cares so much about me, and he's all i've ever wanted. he loves me, most importantly is that i love him too." you were on the verge of tears as you confessed everything.
"before any of you get to ask, yes, he's a pogue. i don't care, okay? mr. cameron, you were once a pogue too, right? wait, actually—mom, you were a pogue yourself. so why can't we just put that aside, and—" a harsh slap landed on your cheek before you get to continue your little speech, making your dad stood from his seat—surprised.
"i don't wanna hear it anymore. i've had enough of you testing my patience!" your mom had dragged you with her as she made her way to the stairs. even both rose and ward were surprised at your mom's sudden outburst, getting up from their seats as rafe went still from his spot behind you.
"no, let go of me! you're hurting me," you tried to fight her off, but failed as she kept pulling you with her. you can hear your dad trying to stop her, but to no avail, your mom wouldn't listen to him. she basically threw you into your room, before locking the door from the outside.
your banging and kicking towards the door can be heard in the dining room as everyone stood there, shock evidence on their faces. rafe stood by the stairs, looking up to your mom who's still standing by the door. you couldn't hear him over the commotion, but he too did try to stop your mom—didn't dare to do more than telling her it's okay because he's nobody.
"mom, please. i'm your child!" your voice were muffled as you lean against the door, your fists hitting helplessly on the surface knowing that your mom doesn't care who you are at that point when you're ruining everything she had been dreaming of.
you sat on the ground, sobbing to yourself as you hug your knees to your chest. you don't understand how it gets to this point—your mom caring more about anything other than you. it's like she wasn't someone you know anymore from how she's been treating you.
"i want you to sit in there, and think about what you did," her voice can be heard through your sobs before she walks away, her footsteps hitting the floor almost too harshly making you hug yourself tighter.
silence fill the space in your room as you sat there alone in the dark, the curtains being closed making it even more gloomy. a knock on the door made you jumped slightly, "are you okay?" rafe's voice calls out from the other side of the door.
"go away, rafe." you wiped the tears falling down your cheeks away as you stood up, walking away from the door to your bed. you didn't hear anything from him after that, leaving you enveloped in the silence as it swallows you whole.
you don't know what happens after that, sleep taking over you—your eyes going heavy as your mind now hazy from all the crying. what you know is that no one will be able to help you now except for your parents, that is if they're still thinking straight—not blinded by greed.
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a/n: i'm suffering from writer's block 😵💫 but we're almost done with the series! i hope you guys like it..... comment if you want to be in the taglist for the next one 💌
summary: what happens when all you've ever wanted is to be with jj, but your parents had arranged you in a marriage with rafe?
contains: angst, suggestive content (only in the beginning)
the chateau was quiet, no one being there except for the two of you as you sat in the guest room, which is basically jj's now from how many times he had spent there. to say that you weren't doing anything there is far from the truth as you were straddling him in a make out session with his hands gripping your ass under the mini skirt you're wearing.
the kisses were rough as he devours the taste of you on his tongue, swallowing every sound you're making. that's when your phone started buzzing, making you pull away from him. he groans at the loss feeling of your lips against his before trailing his lips down to your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there.
you put a hand against his chest when you see that it's your mom calling, shushing him as you answer the phone. he was still buried in your neck, nipping at the skin now, "hello?" your voice fills the silence as you wait for your mom to respond.
"hi, honey! where are you? you need to come home right now," your mom had said, oblivious to the situation you're in right now. you clamped a hand against your mouth as jj hits the sweet spot on your neck, pushing him away slightly. "there's something we need to talk about."
"is it important?" you managed to let out as your hand goes to the back of jj's head, fingers tugging against the hair on his nape to keep yourself composed. "yes! please, come home right now. there are guests waiting."
she hangs up the phone right before you had the chance to ask more questions. putting your phone away, you wrapped your arms around his neck, "i really need to go. my mom said it's important," he grumble in protest, throwing his head back against the headboard. "i'll be back as soon as it's done, promise."
you pull one hand away from around him, holding up your pinky between the two of you, "do you really need to go now? like, now now?" he sighs, hands going to your waist as he plays with the waistband of your skirt. "unfortunately," you leaned your forehead against his, smiling at the pout on his face.
"pinky promise you will come back right after it's done?" he squinted his eyes at you, an eyebrow slightly raised. you pull away, wiggling your already raised pinky right in front of his face. he interlock his pinky with yours as you call out, "i pinky promise i'll come back right after it's done."
you leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth before fixing yourself up in the mirror, then making your way out of the room with a "see you later, jay". he sat there on the bed, back leaning against the headboard as he throws his head back, listening to the sound of your car driving away from the chateau.
it didn't take you long to arrive home, pulling into the driveway as you see a familiar car parked at the front. you didn't question it, it's common for the camerons to be there since their dad is friends with yours. you turn off the engine, checking yourself in the rearview mirror before getting out of the car.
"i'm home! what is it that's so important for me to be here?" you called out, shutting the front door behind you. your mom comes out from the living room, making her way towards you as she took you by the arm, "do you know how long we've been waiting for you? come on, now."
"what? why—" you cut yourself off as you step into the living room, seeing your dad with the camerons—ward, rose, and rafe?—you question yourself when you saw him sitting on the couch of your living room.
"ah, there you are," rose calls out, getting up from the couch to you as she cradles your face in her hands, "you've grown beautifully." she had said, turning towards your mom. you stood there awkwardly as they make their way to the couch—your mom pulling you with her.
you make eye contact with rafe who's sitting across from you, the way he's looking at you making you squirm in your seat. when will this be over? that's when your dad's voice interrupts your train of thoughts. "now that everyone is here, we can go through the arrangement thoroughly."
his voice fading as you're now zoning out, too many thoughts in your head interrupting your focus. why would they involve you in their agreement? you've never been involved in any of their deals. is it something so huge that you need to be there too? maybe it is, but why is rafe here? it's been so long since the last time you had saw him.
"now that everyone had agreed, we'll go through the engagement party date before planning for the wedding." you physically felt your whole world stopping at that, all the questions in your head being answered by a single sentence coming out of your dad's mouth.
your head turned so fast towards your mom, her hands tightening around yours as if she knew what you're trying to do. "what?" you whisper almost to yourself, before looking around the room, "wait, what? what wedding?" you tried tugging your hands away but your mom just shook her head as if to tell you not to start anything now.
"sweetie, please. not now." your dad gritted through his teeth as he look over towards you, trying to keep himself calm in front of the camerons. you shook your head in disbelief, already scowling at your dad for treating you like you're just something for him to trade off in a deal.
"no!" you shouted, pulling your hands away from the tight grip of your mom's as you stood up, "you didn't even ask me about this, and you think that i'm going to agree? no way." you scoffed as you walk away, ignoring the way your mom was calling out for you.
the slam of the front door shook the house, silence filling the living room now as your parents start apologizing for your behavior. "i'm sorry, she's not always like that. it's just that she's—overwhelmed," your mom had said, looking around the room as she nods her head.
"it's totally fine. i know that it's too much for her right now," rose had said, taking your mom's hands in hers in a comforting manner. "let's just go through this whole thing. we'll talk to her later." your dad urges as he gesture towards ward who agreed to the suggestion.
the tears in your eyes blurred your vision, you were crying now as you drive to the chateau. no, you can't let this whole thing happen when your heart belongs to someone else who you truly love. how could they do this to you? you wipe at the tears falling down your cheeks.
when the chateau came into view, you park the car immediately before shutting the engine off. you almost ran towards the front door, calling out for jj—it was obvious from the way your voice sounded that you've been crying. "jj? i need to talk to you,"
you stopped in your tracks when you see that the other pogues were already there, looking up at you from the spot they're gathered at. "i'm sorry, i just—where's jj?" you wiped at the tears as you try to keep your composure. your eyes went to sarah, and you thought that she probably already knew what had happened.
they were quiet at first, but john b was the one to open his mouth "he's—" another voice interrupted—jj's—from behind you, "why are you here?" making you turn, confusion and hurt etched on your face when you see how he's scowling at you.
"jayj—" you step forward to take his hand in yours, but he pulls away as he step back from you. "i already know everything." is the only thing he had said as he move his gaze away from you. you turn your head to sarah, already knowing that it was her who had opened her mouth.
"you know that i don't want this to happen, i told them that i don't want to!" your crying worsen when he shook his head. why wouldn't he believe you? did he actually think that you wanted this to happen? you took his hands in yours, "jayj, if it were to happen, i want it to be you."
you didn't want to cause a scene in front of the pogues, but what else can you do when you're losing the love of your life? his eyes were clear now that he's hurting, but is trying to conceal it with anger instead. he pulls away once again before going out of the front door, and you followed after him.
"you know what? this is a mistake—we're a mistake. i knew that this was going to happen. pogues and kooks are never meant to be together." he finally turn to look at you after saying that, and you want to believe that he didn't mean any of it seeing that he wasn't able to even look at you as he says it.
"can't you see how much i don't want this whole thing to happen? i don't want him, jayj—i don't love him. i love you." tears start gathering in your eyes again as you stood there in front of him, wanting him to see how devoted you are towards him.
"no. we're just two people who can't seem to leave each other alone after a one night stand. you don't love me." was he trying to convince himself? he sounded unsure as he says it, but you were still hurt by the words he had spat towards you like you were nothing to him. "jj, please. you know that it's not true."
you took his hands in yours, bringing it to your chest as you search his eyes. he shook his head again, pulling away from you as he walk past you to the front door, "go home." was the only thing he had said as he close the door behind him.
"don't do this to me, jay. please," you were crying harder now, standing in front of the now closed door. maybe if you stand here longer then he'll come back to comfort you in the safety of his arms, but you know that it's not going to happen. you went back to your car, looking back towards the chateau—still hopeful—before getting in and finally driving away.
inside the chateau, it was quiet as he stood there still trying to catch his breath. sarah's voice breaks the silence, "what the fuck, jj? i told you that she didn't know anything about it." she stared at him in disbelief, everyone were because they didn't expect for him to do that to you—the person who he had a soft spot for.
"it's what i needed to do," he knew that it was so messed up for him to, but he didn't want to see you that way—stuck in the middle of everything—because of him. "she'll get over it." is all he had said, making his way towards the guest room. he know that you won't.
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a/n: the longer i write, the more i'm losing the plot 😵💫 so i'll split this into parts! comment if you want to be tagged in the next ones hehee
contains: suggestive content, reader being oblivious (or just drunk and dumb)
a/n: posting this first as i'm working on my rafe fic! hehe
it was another night where you will take every chance you get to get wasted, and maybe laid if you're drunk enough. that's the only time where you would do something without needing to overthink it, lowkey loving the feeling of guilty pleasure after doing it.
you were sitting with the kooks, listening in on them talking shit about the pogues in which you're not interested in. rafe was truly going at it, cussing out the entire bloodline of jj maybank. you know him, of course you do. he's like your third grade crush from when you would see him whenever your dad would take you out on the boat to fish.
"honestly, fuck the pogues. especially that piece of shit—jj maybank or something," you were the only one listening at this point, the others already stirring into their own conversation. "y'know what i'm saying, right?" rafe looked over towards you, encouraging you to agree with him.
"yeah, fuck him," you slurred, mind already hazy from the drinks you had. you know what rafe had been saying is not literal or anything serious—just him and his hate towards the pogues, but you're too drunk to even process it. if rafe says fuck him then, fuck him, and that's what you're going to do.
it didn't take you long to find jj after excusing yourself from rafe with some shit excuse you didn't even think through about. he was leaning against the wall with a drink in his hand, probably just as drunk as you are, "hey, you."
you kiss him right then and there, not even giving him any chance to react as you basically throw yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate it—a hand going to your lower back, pulling you into him as his other hand held the side of your face—making him drop the drink he had in his hand.
"you're so hot," you moan against the kiss, a hand trailing down against his front making him groan, and that's how you find yourself in bed with him—a moaning mess as he buries his face in between your legs—your fingers tugging at the strands of his sun-damaged hair.
the only thing in your mind was him as you came on his tongue and around him not long after that. you didn't even regret any of it the next morning, even telling yourself that it was the best sex you've ever had as long as you can remember.
he even gave out his phone number—saving his own contact on your phone with the name 'papa j', making you scrunch your face at that—telling you to call him as you walk out of the chateau. you didn't even remember how you got there in the first place as you went home.
the next hangout with the kooks, you were all giddy to tell rafe what had happened like you just completed some sort of mission no one knew about, "rafe, guess what?" you sat, facing him as he take a big gulp of his drink.
"i fucked the jj maybank!" you called out, hands going to hold his arm that was resting beside you. he almost spit out the drink he had in his mouth, before swallowing it, and turning toward you. "what the fuck did you just say?"
"i fucked him like you had said," your voice went quiet after seeing his reaction knowing that you had done something so wrong this time, "i said fuck him as in me expressing my hate towards him! not literal fuck—you're so—" he stopped himself as he pinch the bridge of his nose.
"y'know what? keep your sex life business to yourself. i don't wanna know shit," he finishes the drink he had in his hand before getting up to get more, leaving you on the couch by yourself.
you huffed, biting your lower lip at how bad you had it this time. you were thinking of ways to fix it, but the moment your phone lights up with his name on the screen, you were quick to answer knowing that you didn't regret any of it even the slightest bit.
content ୭ꪆ fluff, reader is on her period, mentions of smoking, cramps, crying, allusions to blood, pogues being pogues, jj being the biggest sweetie pie ever
💌 so hey…. i’m back! and also on my period so i made this to keep from choking myself out!! haha!! (i’m sobbing truly) ps.. send in any requests or asks!!! i missed writing ♡♡
you groan and huff, brows furrowed, subtle pout on your lips as you brace a hand against your stomach, stomping your way into the chateau. headed straight for jb’s bathroom.
the pogues sit idly, strewn across the living room and kitchen, watching as you angrily make your way past them. pope frowns, ❛ hey.. uh- ❜ he gets cut off abruptly as kie sends a swift elbow to his ribs. ❛ shut. up. pope. ❜ kie mutters through the corner of her mouth.
❛ ow.. ❜ pope mumbles, rubbing his side. shooting the girl a glare as she sends one back.
a crash from the bathroom echoes through the entire chateau, followed by a string of curses and a rather loud ‘fucking fat fucking fuck’ from an irritated voice that is undeniably yours.
the pogues pause, glancing at one another. ❛ where’s jj? ❜ john b asks the group, swallowing nervously, beer clutched in his hand as he stands still in the kitchen.
the group falls silent, with no answer as to where your best friend is. john b’s eyes widen, whisper-yelling, ❛ someone text him! right freaking now! ❜
kie and pope scramble to find their phones, bumping into each other as they both jump to move. flipping over couch pillows and empty cans of your favourite soda. making somehow an even bigger mess of jb’s home.
meanwhile.. you’re in the tiny, somewhat claustrophobic, bathroom, angrily staring down at your favourite pair of panties that you saved up to buy, now absolutely ruined.
running a hand through your messy hair, you sigh, biting back the tears that threaten to spill out of your glossy eyes. reaching over to jb’s cabinet, you try to rummage through the boxes of tampons to find your pads.
scoffing, you pull out one last singular pad. ❛ you have got to be kidding me. ❜ you mutter, your frustration growing. god, you hate your period more than anything.
the pogues got a hold of jj, warning him what hell might currently be taking over his best friend. all he replied back was ‘does she have her vape?’ to which the kie shrugged and sent back a firm ‘no.’
they hear the sound of the creaky bathroom door opening, all momentarily bracing, not wanting to even breathe wrong. your feet gently pad across the old wooden floor, headed in the direction of the bedroom jj occasionally sleeps in. your movements tired, fed up.
the pogues act like statues, knowing better than to ask how you’re feeling. sitting in complete silence, they watch you disappear into the bedroom. waiting for the moment jj appears.
you yank open the top drawer of the dresser, pulling out one of your best friends baggy tee’s and a pair of tremendously oversized, yet heavenly soft and comfy, sweatpants.
you undress, leaving your denim shorts on the floor, and instead sliding on jj’s clothes. feeling just a little bit better. cigarettes, a hint of weed and sea salt mixed with the cologne you gifted jj lingers on the worn fabric of his shirt that hangs off one shoulder.
flopping facedown onto the bed, you moan in never-ending annoyance as the pain of the cramps begin to poke and prod at your stomach.
just a couple minutes later you hear a soft knock on the bedroom door. you grumble a muffled ‘come in’. door opening, followed by heavy boots thumping against the hardwood floor. your ears perking up at the noise.
❛ hey sweetgirl. got y’some stuff. y’wanna maybe lift that pretty head up and come look? ❜ the blonde boy murmurs softly, sitting down beside you. gently running his hand over your mused up hair.
❛ jj? ❜ you lift your head, eyes finding his. he smiles down at you, dimple popping out. you feel tears glossing over your vision before you can stop them. a shaky, broken breath leaving your lips as you sit up and tug your best friend into a hug.
❛ hey, kitty cat, s’okay. ❜ jj shushes you softly, one arm wrapped around your back, his free hand brushing your hair as gently as possible. ❛ s’okay, sweetgirl. i’m here. s’alright. ❜
you sniffle, tightening your hold around his neck. breathing him in. letting his words wash over you. the feeling of his hand rubbing up and down your back soothing you.
❛ c’mon, let’s go out to the hammock, yeah? get nice and comfortable, eat some food maybe? how does that sound, pretty girl? ❜ jj offers quietly, running his fingers through the messy strands of your hair.
you pull your head back, sniffling once more, nodding your head at him, ❛ sounds good, j. ❜
his eyes soften at the sight of your tear-stricken face, all flushed and doe-eyed. cupping your cheeks, jj swipes his thumbs beneath your eyes, wiping away the remnants.
❛ alright, let’s go. got your emergency survival kit all ready f’you. ❜ jj grins, grabbing your hand as you climb out of the bed. your heart swells, grateful for your best friend.
he leads you out of the bedroom, pogues nowhere to be seen, and out of the chateau. the sun is still out, but not beaming down. the temperature outside is just right, a slight breeze passing every now and then.
jj brings you down to the hammocks jb tied onto the trees in his yard summers ago. a plastic bag weighing down the blue material. you glance at the blonde with curiosity. he squeezes your hand before letting go, fingers gripping your hips firmly, lifting you up with ease and sitting you down in the hammock.
you smile at him, shaking your head. he drops down beside you, grabbing the bag and plopping it into your lap. ❛ i present t’you, cats emergency survival kit, made by yours truly, jj maybank. ❜ jj wiggles his brows at you, tugging you closer to him.
a flutter passes through your stomach, and it’s not because of your period. you lean against jj’s shoulder, letting him push the hammock gently as you open up the bag.
you’re unable to contain your smile as you look down at the array of items. only him— your bestest friend, jj maybank —could possibly know you oh so well.
you pull out your favourite cherry mint flavoured juul, and it’s not just one new packet, it’s four. you can see boxes of more pads peaking out from under a pink heatable bottle, it’s the night time ones that you prefer to wear so you never have to worry about ruining clothes. there’s m&m’s, a jumbo bag of them because jj knows that you think the bigger pack tastes better. ready-to-eat mangos from the local market that you swear tastes like heaven on earth. he even got you new pink rolling papers for when your period is over because he knows that you’ll want to spark up as soon as you can.
you turn to face him, finding him already smiling softly at you. his blonde hair falling messily over his forehead. ❛ thank you, j. you’re the best. i mean it. ❜ you tell him, pressing a sweet kiss to his sunburnt cheek.
❛ s’no problem, pretty girl. y’know i’ll always take good care of you. ❜ jj wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you against his chest. kissing the crown of your head.
you both get comfortable on the large hammock, your legs over thrown over his, back pressed against his chest as his arm rests loosely ‘round your neck. safe and warm and so loved.
you hum in content as you take a pull of the juul, the sweet smell of cherries wafting into the passing breeze. passing it to jj, giving him a hit. the sun setting slowly behind you. the two of you munching on m&m’s. jj’s hand occasionally rubbing circles on your lower stomach under the big material of his shirt.
thank god for jj’s creation of cats emergency survival kit. your best friend must really love you.
