@LaraRutherford: When @jmingus finally shows up with your gifts. Christmas in Porto Velho is the best Christmas. Bye. ā„

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@LaraRutherford: When @jmingus finally shows up with your gifts. Christmas in Porto Velho is the best Christmas. Bye. ā„
Push You Out, Pull You Back In || Jasper and Leona
When Leona didnāt want to be in the company of others, she sought out comfort in Jasper. And when she couldnāt sleep at night, she texted or called him all the while praying as the phone rang that he would be awake. When Leona couldnāt stand to go to therapy, mainly because she couldnāt be bothered with reliving her latest nightmare, she would text Jasper and try to convince him to play hooky together. In all honestly, Leona had never considered herself someone who had an abundance of friends: when in the military, you couldnāt. Sure, she wanted to look after and protect her fellow soldiers, but sheād lost friends in combat and, at some point, sheād stopped growing close to those who fought by her side. In hindsight, if sheād known how fucked up sheād be once the accident happened and she woke out of the coma, maybe she wouldāve tried to get to know them better. Maybe she wouldnāt have shrugged off the newbies in her squadron by sticking to those she knew. Maybe she wouldāve tried harder, somehow, to save them. One thing she had realized was that survivorās guilt, and the trauma that came along, was a fucking bitch. Living in the same block as Jasper was a blessing in disguise. First, it fed to her found laziness post-military, and it meant that she could easily stroll over to his flat in an oversized jumper without a second glance in her direction. After she spent an aggravated ten seconds digging around in her pocket for the key to his front door, Leona slipped inside and toed off her shoes by the front door. āDonāt worry, Iām not here to steal your belongings, just coming to sleep with you,ā Leona called out with an air of sarcasm in laced in her tone. Before she made way to his room, Leona stopped in the kitchen and stole a glass from the cabinet only to fill it with tap water. Pills were a bitch, but she knew if she didnāt take them before sleep it would only create a catastrophe in the morning. Padding down the hall to his bedroom, Leona peeked her head inside with a quiet smile before she crept in, no longer hesitant when it came to Jasper. āAlso, secondly, I totally forgot to bring food. So youāll have to deal with hangry me, yeah?ā
@jasperreynolds
@LaraRutherford: Heās cute. Think Iāll keep him. Happy Valentineās Day. š
@LaraRutherford: Avoiding British weather like pros. #eventherainhereiswarm
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā RELATIONSHIPS: PAST & PRESENT.
Prince Mahmoud bin Faisal al Ghazi. (ex-boyfriend, 33) Lawyer. Businessman. Saudi Royal Family. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āActually, can IĀ have five more of these little Saudi bitches?ā Mahmoud was her first serious relationship, and the two met whilst attending Harvard Law together. Lara can say, with her hand on her heart, that heās one of the best people sheās ever met in her life. Intelligent, kind, compassionate, attentive; all the traits that shouldāve made for a sustainable relationship. Instead, the two years she spent with him were muddled with the beginning stages of her relationship with Amir. Lara frequently saw the two of them at the same time, and reached a point where she was technically in a relationship with them simultaneously (albeit not to their knowledge.) In the end, Amir won out, and she broke Mahmoudās heart. For all Laraās past flings, she has never revisited any of them later in life, but he is an exception, because apart from Amir, heās the only man she ever really loved. Theyāve never completely lost contact, and if ever heās on business in London, they make the effort to see each other again. Lara is too ashamed of how she treated him to consider the idea of reconciling, though.
Amir Dawar. (ex-fiancĆ©, 39) Businessman. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āSad face.ā Irrevocably the love of her life. They met at Harvard, and it was love at first sight--for him, at least. In the beginning, Lara had really only pursued him because of his familyās wealth and connections with oil, but nearing the end of her relationship with Mahmoud (who introduced the two) she began to realise a business arrangement had turned into something more. Lara treated him awfully, despite knowing he deserved better. She cheated on him often whilst they were together--shout out to people like Silas, Gaius, and Eitan--because her fear of commitment was real. They split up and got back together often. It wasnāt until Amir followed her to Porto Velho that she really started to realise that he did care about her, was in it for the long haul, and deserved better than what she was giving him. Lara cleaned up her act, and things got better quickly. Until Revati. Seeing how close she and Amir became in the years that followed pushed her back into questioning everything. Even when Amir proposed, the thought loomed over her head: what if he woke up one morning and decided he wanted Revati more than her? It was a terrifying prospect. One that lead to her cheating on him right before the wedding in a brutal act of self-sabotage she regrets to this day. Amir had forgiven a lot, but he couldnāt look past that. She doesnāt blame him. Lara still loves him, and even though she is finally learning how to move on, she doubts that will ever change.
Anand Chowdhury. (ex-boyfriend, 34) Lawyer. Junior Partner at Bennett & Gallagher, London. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā "Prettier than Lara, and thatās too pretty...ā When she first got to London, faced with the fact Amir had moved on and started a whole new life with another woman, Lara jumped at the first person she thought might have the potential to make him jealous. Diana had set the two up, as Anand was a mutual friend, and had she not been in such a bad position mentally, Lara couldāve easily seen herself pursuing him genuinely. In hindsight, it was a miserable idea. It also didnāt work in the slightest. Lara dated him for a few months, and whilst he was wonderful, he also understood that she had no interest in him beyond helping her to get over someone else. Lara doesnāt know why he played along for so long, but eventually, she ended things before she could feel like any more of a shit person than she already did.Ā Ā
Jasper Menzies. (ex-boyfriend, 38) British army. Captain in the SAS. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā "Guess he didnāt like the family.ā Lara had known Jasper through Gideon (and by association, Harrison) since she was much younger. Years later, though, upon her return to London, when the two crossed paths once more, sparks flew. Despite being determined to take a break from relationships until she was sure her head was in the right place (and her heart was no longer with a man she couldnāt have) for the first time since Amir, she found herself unable to help it. Sure she would regret it if she waited, the two made things official after a few months of casual sex and the occasional date. It took them both by surprise how well it worked; neither of them had anticipated actually wanting a relationship, let alone one that made the both of them genuinely happy. Lara adored him. Just before things ended, he had even given her keys to his Hereford home. Thereās no doubt in her mind that things wouldāve continued down the path they were had Cassandra not intervened and told him everything about the Rutherford family, and their alleged connections to the Russians. Lara understood that after what happened to his brother, he would have a problem with it. Even though she wanted to tell him that she hated the fact her family was involved with the Russians, too, she couldnāt bring herself to fight. Even though theyāre technicallyĀ ābroken upā theyāre still talking, and she wonders if things are fixable. It seems unlikely. Lara also isnāt sure she has the heart to try.Ā
@LaraRutherford: Is it really a party if you donāt pre-game? No. @jmingusĀ Ā Ā
come away with me || Jasper and Leona
Spazzing out didnāt begin to note where her head had been over the course of the entire day. Leona had only had her second day of working at Camden Books, also known as Jasperās store, but she could already feel the difference in her mind. Of course it was still work, which required leaving her house, which was anxiety-inducing all on its own, but knowing that sheād be around Jasper took the edge off. Even if she realized they had to be professional while at work ā and it would be hard ā catching glimpse of him every so often had certainly helped. Of course, on the days she didnāt work she was still going to be in class, slaving away for the degree that she hoped would make a difference one day, even if it felt like it wasnāt. Sheād recently exchanged two of her classes to take online from the comfort of her own bed, and that had been a weight off her shoulders. Yet for the course of the entire day, she hadnāt been able to get tonight off her mind; no amount of studying would do the trick, and before Leona knew it she was blow-drying her hair after a shower, her legs freshly shaved with a thick amount of lotion applied, and her lips ruby-red to match the dress sheād chose for the night. She just as easily made her way to Jasperās as her heels clicked on the tile floor that lined the hallway from her flat to his as an entire flock (is that what they were called?) of butterflies terrorized her stomach. āJasper?ā She called out for him as she slid the key into the lock and twisted, pushing the door open, catching sight of herself in the reflection of the mirror in front of her. Jesus. She cleaned up well, hadnāt she? Of course sheād had to search to the back of the wardrobe for the dress, the crimson dress with cap-sleeves fit her to a tee, and made her feel every bit beautiful for the first time in ages.Ā āDo you want me to wait out here, or is there something I can help you with?ā @jasperreynolds
@LaraRutherford: I never won't miss you, Porto Velho. (Don't worry. We'll be back in time for the weekend. š) @jmingus @camillaeliades @dianasehgal