Today I had some time to myself in the morning so I was feeling like having an adventure.
I had some breakfast and coffee and then headed to a nearby Target. I know this place very well, there are always clean bathrooms, and there are two bathrooms. So this is my goto spot when I feel like pooping my pants without requiring a lot of planning ahead.
On my way to the store (about a 10 minute drive) I was already feeling pretty intense pressure. I farted a few times in my car but it reached a point where I couldn’t fart any more without shitting my pants.
I actually needed a few things at Target so I thought I would either mess my pants while checking out and then drive home to clean up or I would clean up in the store. Having those options was nice and put my mind at ease.
Walking in to the store I felt like I could immediately poop my pants. The pressure was pretty high and it felt like it was going to be a big load.
Today I was wearing black dry-fit stretchy gym pants and a light grey hoodie. I was wearing a new pair of boxer brief underwear which is now my absolute favorite to poop in.
Since the pressure was already so intense and I didn’t want to lose that I decided I would poop my pants really shortly after walking in the store.
I walked over to the mens active wear section and was browsing some of the gym clothing. People were walking by pretty consistently but everyone was 5-10 feet away from me as they passed.
I decided at that point to give a little push.
Immediately my pants started filling up with, at first, a semi-soft mess followed by complete mush. I tried to look casual as I was pooping my pants but I think I gave a consistent push for about 15 seconds and got the whole load out in my pants.
As soon as I finished I could smell the mess intensely. It was awful smelling - way worse than usual.
This is my favorite part of pooping myself in public. The moment right before I decide to push and then the moment right after I’ve finished messing my pants.
There is an intense calm at both those times. I am still nervous/anxious slightly because it’s a natural feeling to have when you mess yourself in public. But I also feel calm and relaxed. Over the years I’ve come to realize that this dirty act, in a way, is me resigning to the fact that I don’t have complete control and never will - and being ok with that.
At this point I was roughly 100 feet from the nearest bathroom so I decided I would clean up in the store. Clean up took a while and was quite messy. I’ll spare you the details except to say that i threw out the underwear.
After cleaning up well I continued my shopping. I’m always amazed at how no one notices when I poop my pants in public. It’s something the vast majority of people fear however when you do it no one actually notices unless you want to be noticed.