Dec 15, 2024
Orochimaru, watching Sasuke blow up their hideout, again, because Kabuto woke him up 30 mins too early: if I send him back to Konoha with the receipt, will I get a refund?
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Orochimaru, watching Sasuke blow up their hideout, again, because Kabuto woke him up 30 mins too early: if I send him back to Konoha with the receipt, will I get a refund?
Orochimaru: Sasuke only eats organic snacks Jiraiya: Cool, Naruto eats candy off the floor
I bet (more than once) Orochimaru looked at Sasuke and thought," maybe I bit more than I could chew."
I wonder what Sasuke's rebellious phase would've been like in both a non-massacre AU and in an AU where he doesn't leave Konoha.
I know he technically didn't do rebellious shit over at Orochimaru's because Orochimaru probably just saw Sasuke changing his wardrobe to piss them off and they just got them new clothes. Sasuke wanting to get piercings? Oro offers to take him to a good place. Tattoos? Oro may not like it, but they'll let him if he's sure. It's driving Sasuke insane.
Kakashi, trying to give Sasuke The Talk:
Orochimaru, pulling out some diagrams and models and pictures with all parts labeled: Sex is normal and it's not immoral.
Me: Orochimaru would walk Sasuke down the aisle.
My brain: What if they use Edo Tensei to bring back Fugaku, Mikoto, and Itachi?
Kakashi walks around Konoha, putting up missing posters of Sasuke until he finds a poster with a picture of Sasuke with Orochimaru "Have you seen your student? He's mine now."
Me: *looks up gender neutral term for milf/dilf to annoy my friends by thirsting over Oro*