Discover Top Posts Tagged with #please forgive yourself

dear self,

i’m so sorry.

ugh i fucked up so bad rose.. i don't know what to do. im so ashamed and disgusted with myself. i dont deserve love..

Okay I’m your older big sister now, listen. A while ago I did something stupid. I fucked up big time because I was going through a hard time after one of my breakups. I made a mistake of thinking that I was in love with someone when I wasn’t. I was lonely and at the time I truly did believe I was in love with him, truly I did. But after we ended I had realized that I wasn’t in love with him at all I was just in love with the way he made me feel at the time and after I realized that I was like “Holy shit what have I done.” I was so angry with myself and I cannot even begin to explain the hatred I had towards myself. I was a mess. I wouldn’t leave my room and if I did I would just sit there and look at my feet because I couldn’t look anyone in the eye even though no one knew of my mistake but me. I remember sitting in my room on the edge of my bed just crying and crying and crying because I was just so disgusted with myself. I thought I didn’t deserve love and that no one would ever love me again. I thought that I was such a piece of shit that I just dropped off the face of the earth. I didn’t talk to anyone, I cut all ties with everyone because I was just so fucked up by my mistake. It was literally controlling my fucking life. I didn’t talk to anyone about it except one person here on tumblr and even though they reassured me that yeah it was shitty what I did but I still deserved love and friends and even though they said those kind words I could not get rid of the hate I had towards myself. I was just.. I was at one of my lowest ever in my life and I truly thought that I was just going to feel like this. After 5 months of completely hating myself one day I woke up went to my mirror and looked at myself and I had realized that I was in complete disgust but I still hated myself. I guess my point is over time I kind of just accepted what I did and accepted that I had fucked up but the fact that I accepted what I did and that I was feeling the guilt I felt, I knew that meant that I was still worthy of love. After a while I just got over it but not completely. I will admit I still hate myself for what I did but I know now that who I was at that time that wasn’t me and I know that sounds like the lamest excuse to ever existed but it’s true. Who I was when I made that mistake wasn’t me in any way shape or form. I was going through a hard time and I needed an escape and for my that was him and I am always going to regret that but now I’ve learned and I went through a great deal of pain but I realized that wasn’t me. Now I’m saying to you, YOU WILL BE LOVED AGAIN. It is okay to make mistakes and it is more than okay to forgive yourself. It’s important to forgive yourself. Do not do what I did and spend months hating yourself because it will leave you more tired than before.. You are human. You are loved and you are forgiven.

#answered #this was literally so hard for me to tell #please forgive yourself